In this video, health coach Tyrone Bray reflects on a recent Thursday coaching call where two clients were stuck in a cycle of trying to eliminate caffeine and grains, respectively. He explains that both clients chose these strict eliminations as perceived shortcuts to their health and weight‑loss goals, but their lack of genuine desire to give up these foods leads to repeated relapse. Bray argues that over‑sacrificing creates a mismatch between momentary cravings and long‑term objectives, resulting in self‑sabotage. He proposes a more sustainable mindset: instead of total elimination, adopt an 80/20 approach—focus on consistent good habits while allowing occasional indulgences. By identifying other positive actions that outweigh the negative impact of a habit, clients can achieve their goals without extreme restriction. Bray closes by inviting viewers to share their experiences, ask questions, and engage for personalized advice, emphasizing that health should not be made harder than necessary.
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Hey guys, what's up? So today's conversation is going to be about not making it harder than it needs to be. So I have literally just gotten off a coaching call that I do with some of my clients. Every Thursday evening we have an online coaching call, and one of the issues that we're currently having is that two of the guys there have goals of their own. One of them is trying to eliminate caffeine, the other one is trying to eliminate grains, and And both their own choices, nothing to do specifically with me, but in their mind, this will be a good idea to help them reach their goals. The catch-22 is they've been kind of going around in circles for a long time now, and I'm talking multiple months, maybe even over a year on this, these two particular things where they're like, they'll try, they do it, they get rid of the thing, or they get right down and there's only a small amount left in the diet. And then life happens, stress happens, and it all comes back. Now, the catch that they both have is in reality, in order for them to continue achieving their goals and get to where they want to be, neither of them actually have to eliminate these things. One of them doesn't have to get rid of caffeine. The other one doesn't have to get rid of grains. They've just chosen these things because they, in their mind, seemed like a good idea. They're good goals to have because, you know, sometimes for many people, grains aren't necessarily the best options. And caffeine, again, for some people isn't a very good thing. Some people, it's fine, and then others it's not so great for. So in their mind it's like, well, I will be healthier, better, and I'll be able to get to my goals quicker and more easily if I eliminate these things. The catch-22 is when you choose something that you don't really have to do, you're not really going to fully commit to it. Now, the other catch you have is if you don't really want to do it either. So there is a part of both of these guys, neither of them really want to give up this thing that they're trying to give up. Now, if your desire to keep this thing outweighs your desire to achieve the long-term goal or whatever it is that you're aiming for, you won't do it. You'll keep sabotaging yourself and falling back off because this thing has a greater pull, at least in the moment. It's like there's this part of you that's like, I really don't want to give up caffeine, the way it makes me feel, or the taste of coffee, whatever it might be. And then on the flip it's, oh well, I don't want to stop eating biscuits or bread or whatever the thing might be. And if that pull in the moment right now is greater than your desire to reach your long-term health and weight loss goals, you're going to keep sabotaging and having that thing. Now I use the word sabotaging, but it's only sabotaging if you're telling yourself you shouldn't be doing it, but then you keep doing it. Whereas if you said, you know what, actually I can probably reach my goals anyway. I could probably get the weight loss, the health improvements, the strength improvements, look better, feel better, but also have these things that I enjoy in my life? Why wouldn't you have both? You don't actually have to sacrifice all the time in order to get the thing that you want. Sometimes it's just about identifying which other good things or positive things you can do for yourself to help outweigh the negative impact of these certain other things that you're doing, which is why I often talk to you guys about the 80/20 rule. For most people, 80% of the time, if you're good, you can get away with that 20% where you're maybe not perfect. Now, for some, of course, it needs to be more, but that's a story for another day. But generally speaking, 80/20 is enough. So my point is, stop trying to over-sacrifice in order to get this thing that is perceived as better, because sometimes you just won't be willing to give up this thing now. Why would I give up this pleasure now to have this fantasy of a pleasure in the future? Now, in reality, it might be a better, a better thing to have and to own this goal that we want. But if it doesn't have a bigger emotional pull than the fantasy that we're trying to keep right now, we're not going to take the action. So my basic point is don't over-sacrifice because unfortunately you will likely end up sabotaging yourself. Now, if you feel like this is yourself, feel free to comment below. Let us know your personal experience with this. And obviously I'd love to hear it, love to respond, give you some advice, some tips if needed. Or if you have any other questions of your own, guys, feel free to share them below. I'd love to obviously get back to you with some answers and create some content for you. And if not, I look forward to seeing you guys in my next video. Just remember, no over-sacrificing, because then you'll probably find that you end up over-struggling. Take it easy, people.
