Tyrone Bray argues that tomorrow's results come from today's work, not wishes. Instant gratification culture makes people trade long-term goals in health and money for short-term comfort. Turn your core values into non-negotiable habits, sit with resistance when it comes, and choose differently.
Chapters
The results you're hoping to see tomorrow are dependent upon the work you're willing to do today. Said another way, the results that we hope to see in the future are based on the work that we should be doing now. Now, unfortunately for many of us, we're kind of stuck in this idea of, I want instant pleasure now, rather than having this ability to delay our gratification and know that, okay, so these things I want in the future, are going to come as a result of the work that I'm willing to do today and the potential sacrifices that I'm prepared to make today. Now, what I try to get people to do is kind of reframe that because often if we see something as a sacrifice, even though we know there's this bigger, better thing on the other side, if we know that we're going to have to sacrifice things or give things up or deprive ourselves of certain things, it makes it much more challenging because we're very loss averse as humans. We don't like to give things up. We don't like to lose out. We don't like to wait if we can help it, especially in today's kind of instant world where we can have almost anything we want immediately. It's very difficult for us sometimes to delay that gratification or delay that happiness in place of the immediate pleasure that we'd like to experience. So what we ideally need to do is go, okay, cool, well, I have this goal, whether it be improving my body, my health, losing weight, getting jacked, whatever the goal might be with my health, or I might want to expand my business and grow it to the next level, or improve my income just so that things aren't so tight and so shitty each month. I might want to improve my relationship with my partner and my kids so that I feel less disconnected with them and like I'm actually with my family when I'm at home rather than just around my family when I'm at home. So there could be many of these different aspects of our lives that we're trying to change, But even though we know there's this bigger, better, happier place on the other side of the work we know we need to do, quite often it's very hard for us to kind of delay that gratification and go, okay, well, I know I need to put in the work now. I need to grind at this thing for a short period or potentially even a long period of time in order to get that particular outcome that I'd like. So instead what we do is settle for the short-term pleasures that are going to make us feel good in the moment. Okay, cool. So then rather than stick to this particular new eating routine, what I'm going to do instead is allow myself to have ice cream tonight, or allow myself to have junk food and cake, or I'll keep delaying my need or requirement to go to the gym to actually stimulate my body and my muscles so that it starts to make the adaptations and improvements required to build that body that I'd like. Same with our partner. We know that sometimes we've got to put in more effort, more work, spend more time with them or spend more time with our kids in order to improve our connection and those relationships. But in the moment, I'd rather just sit and binge-watch Netflix, or I'd rather spend time with my friends because when I'm at home, that just reminds me of the shit that I know I need to do to keep my house in order. But I'd rather go out, sit, date, have drinks, have a laugh, which is all good fun and pleasurable in the moment, but we know that it doesn't necessarily lead us to that long-term happiness that we're after. So what we need to do is go, okay, well, the mindset shift that I need requires me to not only acknowledge but also accept, both in my head and in my heart, the fact that anything I want to experience in my life tomorrow is going to come down to the work that I'm willing to do today. And if I do not do that work, then I cannot— what's the word I'm looking for here— I cannot, or I am not entitled. That's what I was trying to say. So any work I'm not willing to do today means that I cannot be entitled to the result that I want tomorrow. And we can't be upset, we can't be ashamed and blame ourselves, or feel guilty for not doing the work. You can, but that's obviously not a sensible thing to do. It's in fact, it's fucking stupid. Like, why would you know that, oh, I need to do this thing, but I'm going to refuse to do that thing, and then because I refused to do that thing and didn't get the outcome, I'm now going to blame myself, feel guilty, feel angry, and so on with myself. It's like, well, now you're, you're, you're, you're making yourself unhappy twice. I'm unhappy because I didn't achieve the result, and then I'm also unhappy because I didn't do the thing I know I needed to do. So what we want to do instead is go, you know what, this is the outcome I want. These are the things I need to do. And as of today, I make this thing a non-negotiable in my life. If you have the courage to make certain things non-negotiable for you, essentially it comes down to your values. It's like, What do you value most in your life and where are you willing to, or what are the values or the rule sets that you're willing to live by in order to have the life and the outcomes that you want? So what we need to do is go, okay, well tomorrow I know that my goal moving forward is to lose weight, for example. So as of today, I need to start doing things that are going to move me in that direction. Now don't worry that you're not going to lose all that weight overnight or build all that muscle overnight. That's not the problem. The problem is learning how to develop the habits and the behaviors and the disciplines that we need in order to keep us moving in that direction for life. Now, that doesn't mean you can't have days off. It doesn't mean that you can't have moments of pleasure. It just means that we can't allow moments of pleasure to outweigh our long-term happiness and our long-term health. But of course, that takes a bit of time and practice. So be willing to kind of sit with yourself in the pocket And when you do have these moments where you're like, you know what, I just really can't be fucked today, I do not want to do this, then kind of sit with yourself and ask why. Like, what's actually coming up for you? What thoughts? What feelings? And try to analyze not only how or why they're coming up, but where they originally come from. And by doing so, it's often much easier for us to identify them as they occur and also correct them and then choose a different path that day. So that we can still get those outcomes that we want moving forward. As always, guys, if you have any other questions, let me know. Or if you want me to dig deeper into these types of concepts, again, let me know in the comments below, or just post a separate post asking anything that you would like to know. And I will see you in the next video.
