How to Set Goals That Guarantee Results!

Now, if you find yourself watching this, there is a very good chance that you in the past have set yourself some goals. Like, you've had goals, aspirations, targets, dreams even, that you've kind of set yourself on and, right, that's what I'm going to get. That's, that is it. That's my, my goal, my target, my aim, and I'm gonna go get it. The catch of, unfortunately for many of us though, is that we fail to actually achieve the outcome that we want. And what I've come to find over the years, both doing this with myself and of course working with hundreds and hundreds of clients, the thing that I tend to see that happens is we set goals that aren't actually our goals. Now, what I mean by this is what you really want is the goal of the goal. Now, some people are like, you what, mate? Hang on. No, I just, I wanted to lose weight or I wanted to earn more money or whatever the goal might have been. But what we fail to see quite often is what we want is the feeling state that we think we will experience as a result of achieving that particular outcome. So I need to lose 30 pounds. Cool. That's a great goal. Why do you want to lose 30 pounds? Now, I'm sure you guys have all heard this kind of idea around, oh, well, I have to make sure that I have a why. My why needs to be big enough. And, oh, well, why do I want to lose 30 pounds? Oh, well, I want to look better. Okay, cool. Why? Well, I, I, I, I, I'm embarrassed by myself. I'm actually disgusted by the way I look. I want to, to feel better about myself. Okay, cool. So you want to feel better. So how is it that you actually want to feel? Um, well, I'd like to feel more confident. Okay, cool. I'd like greater self-esteem. I'd like to believe in myself more. I'd like to feel like I'm not being judged or looked down upon by others because of my weight. Okay, cool. So now we're getting somewhere as we start to peel away the layers we realize that it's not just, I want to lose weight, and it's not necessarily just, I want to look better. There is often a feeling state that comes with it. Maybe the confidence, maybe the self-esteem, maybe the sense of power or the sense of achievement. Maybe you want recognition or something like that. Or maybe it's a case of you need all these things so that you have the confidence to now step up and go out and find a partner, for example, or to show up more confidently in your relationship with the partner you already have. So often, yes, we want the goal, but that is quite often a means to an end. That's, that's the thing we think we need to do in order to experience the feeling state that we feel we're lacking or missing in our lives. So this is the first part. We must make sure that we align our goal with the goal on the other side of that first initially perceived goal, like the outcome that we want. We need to know what's beyond that that we're actually chasing. So that's step 1. Now, step 2 in this sort of game of trying to set goals that guarantee results is that we need to align our belief in self with the level of action required to achieve that particular outcome. So what does this actually mean? What this means is that most of us actually set goals that are way beyond our current capacity. And as a result, there is a part of us that does not believe that it's possible so therefore we won't act in the ways required to achieve that outcome. So it's like, oh, okay, back to this 30 pounds we were just talking about. I wanna lose 30 pounds, brilliant, but fucking hell, 30 pounds is a lot of weight and I've been struggling to do this for years now, so why would now be any different? Like, why am I gonna achieve it now when I haven't managed it the past 2 years, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years? So because there's this part of us that has gotten used to failure, our expectation subconsciously is failure or lack or not quite achieving it being embarrassed if we fail or others see us mess up and so on. So because of that, we don't act in alignment with the outcome. It's like, I wanna lose 30 pounds, but let's face it, the idea of losing 30 pounds is a big goal, especially if you've struggled for a long time. So what we need to do is kind of scale that goal back to the point where we believe that it is possible for us. It's like, okay, cool. And the catch with this unfortunately is many of us believe that it's possible. Oh, I believe 30 pounds of weight loss is possible. But the catch is we don't necessarily believe that it's possible for us. So this is why the goal needs to be scaled back. It's okay, right? My long-term goal could be 30 pounds, but at the moment I'm not necessarily confident enough to act in alignment with this goal, dream, wish of losing 30 pounds. So what I would do instead is try and scale that back. So would I be confident in saying that I could lose 5 pounds in a month or 1 pound in a week, because if I can snowball that 1 pound in a week over 30 weeks, or potentially even less if I can build up some momentum, I can have lost that 30 pounds. And the idea of losing 1 pound a week actually feels much more achievable to me than losing 30 pounds. If I set out the gate with I need to lose 30 pounds, well then that means I need to completely overhaul my diet, I need to completely overhaul any physical activity regime I have. I might need to train 5 days, 6 days a week. Maybe I need 7 to 9 hours of sleep every single night. Maybe I've got to drink 2.5 to 3 liters of water a day. Maybe I need to do breathwork. Maybe I need to do meditation. Maybe I need to do detox and all these different things because the goal is so big. So in order to achieve it, I need to make big shifts, take big actions. But if we scale that back and go, well, actually, do you think you could lose a pound in a week? And for most people, they're like, yeah, I could lose a pound in a week because losing a pound in one week may only require you shifting one meal. So you may not have to change all three meals in the day. Maybe I just make sure I get one clean meal in compared to what I've been doing. That will help me move in the right, in the right direction. Maybe if I do two workouts in this week, I'll be able to push my body in a direction to help it lose weight. Maybe if I add an extra 15 minutes to my sleep and maybe increase my water intake by 500ml, that will be enough to get me to my goal. That then allowed me to start moving in the right direction. I also get to the end of the week and I'm successful, which, as we all know, nothing breeds success like success. So we need to ensure that whatever it is we go for is something that we believe we can act in alignment with. So if I now go, I'm not sure about that 30 pounds, but I do believe I could lose a pound in a week, it's much easier for us to believe in that, that, um, potential outcome and our ability to achieve it. So now we act in alignment with that. Oh, I can easily make sure that at least one meal a day is good. Oh, I can easily make sure that I train just twice this week. Oh, I can easily make sure I just drink an extra 500ml of water a day. That often sounds much easier than, oh right, completely overhaul your diet, all three meals must be perfect, plus we need good snacks in between that are high protein and low in carb and all these different things that we can add. So those are the two points. So if we want to guarantee that our goals, or guarantee our success with our goals, and set goals which are guaranteed results, we need to first make sure that we understand the goal of the goal. Because sometimes we, we will set a goal and that might be something that we want to achieve, but we may actually be able to achieve the goal on the other side of that, the feeling state that we want, in a different way. That's easier, that maybe isn't what we perceive. So once we actually understand, well, what's the goal of the goal? Quite often we can get there much easier, much quicker, because we don't necessarily have to go through all the hardship, the turmoil, the stress, and the chaos that we think is perceived— or sorry, that we perceive is required in order to get there. So that's the first thing. We need to make sure we understand the goal of the goal. And secondly, we need to align our belief in self with the level of action required to achieve that particular outcome. So that's all I'll leave you guys with today. Of course, on this topic, if you have any questions, drop them in the comments below, or of course, reach out to me on the email. And if not, I look forward to chatting with you guys in my next video. Take it easy.