Is having “everything you need” the worst place to get stuck?!

Being a coach, I have lots of conversations with people about their goals, their aims, their targets, and so on. And occasionally I'll get people who will, will be going through, through their targets and what it is they want to achieve over the next 6 months or 12 months and so on, and suddenly they'll kind of say, well, the catch is I kind of have everything that I need, so I don't know if I really need to try and achieve anything else in that particular area. Now, whilst that might be the case, and of course it's better to have everything we need than not, sometimes having this mindset stops our growth. It stops our ability to move forward and, and try to achieve more because this part of it says, well, I've got everything I need. Now, the catch that we have though is settling for everything that we need only ensures that we're surviving. It doesn't necessarily ensure that we're thriving in life. So having everything you need is basically like saying, well, I have all of my essentials, all of the bare basics are covered. Now, for some of you, it may be a case of, well, no, I have everything I need. And when I really look at that, it's actually more than I need. It's, it's in excess or in abundance. So therefore, I also, along with that need, have many of the things that I want. But we have to kind of look at both of those things because need and want are very different. Now, often we can want the things that we need, but we don't always need the things that we want. The catch is just simply having what we need won't necessarily lead to happiness, fulfillment, and joy. You know, just, just about having enough food to survive is not the same as having the foods that you want and having an abundance that enables you to thrive and enjoy the things that you want and not feel scarce about, oh, I better not eat too much because then I won't have enough food for the rest of the week, and so on, because money's tight at the moment and scarce and all the rest of it. So we need to be careful sometimes about only settling for our needs. Now, this isn't me saying go out there, be greedy, and consume everything and take as much as you can. You can do that, and I have no problem with it. But that's not what I'm saying. But what I'm actually saying is don't settle for just your baseline needs because that's all you'll ever achieve. And unfortunately, when we are settling for just baseline needs, quite often we find that it comes with a sense of struggle. It comes with a sense of fear and scarcity and lack because we've only just about got enough to get by in each of our domains or categories that we're trying to grow. So whenever something external happens or shakes the pot, what then happens is we find that, fuck, now we're lacking here or there. So for example, we get bullshit like pandemics come along or wars come along and all these different things, different economic shakeups and shifts. And then what happens is suddenly we are now pushed below that need and we've got to try and climb and scrabble our way back up to match where we were before. Whereas if we said, you know what, I'm not going to settle for just the things I need, I'm actually going to strive for some of the things that I want as well. So I can take what I have and need but raise it to a level of abundance. So when these external things happen to me, these things in my external environment that would normally come along and shake things up and disrupt my world, they won't actually affect me. Or if they do, it won't affect me at the same level, stress me out, overwhelm me. And caused me to have to panic and, and rush around to try and address these issues that I was ill-prepared for. So whilst it's nice to cover our needs, unfortunately for most of us, it's just not going to be enough, especially in the long run. You may remember I did a video a while back saying if you're not rising, then essentially you're falling, and that's because the world around us continues to evolve, continues to move on and advance and so on. So if we choose to stay the same and don't have this element of trying to become more and to be better, then essentially we get left behind. And if we look at this, obviously in a financial sense, we've got inflation and things like that. So you might reach a good level in your business and your, your money game and so on, but if you don't choose to advance that, sooner or later that money you're earning hasn't or loses its ability to do so much because the cost of things and the cost of living continues to increase. But your ability to make money didn't increase, well, now you can buy less with the money you have available. So essentially, as I say, if we're not rising, we're falling. And this is the same if you only settle for what you need and then something changes external to you. Often we're left fucked. So we need to make sure that we're at least doing something to perpetually put ourselves above our baseline. That goes for our body. So we can't just settle for, oh well, I'm getting by, you know, I'm I'm just about okay. We need to dominate. We need to do better in ourselves, obviously in the way that we're eating, the way we're showing up and exercising and so on. But we want a body that is essentially bulletproof. We want a body that essentially protects us from the external stresses of our environment. So all of the, the stress and chaos that we have to put up with at work, the stress that we have to deal with in our home and within family and children and all those types of things. We need to have a body that can handle the summation of all of those stresses so that it is thriving and not just surviving. Because again, anytime that stress goes up, well, that means our health has to go backwards. So we've got to flip it. We need to be in abundance in terms of health, then those stresses have no detrimental effect on us. Same in our money game, as I've just mentioned. Then economic crisis and wars and pandemics and governments and all that kind of bullshit will have no detrimental effect on us. And then the same goes for our relationships and so on. Ideally, we want to build such strong connection and such depth of connection with our partner, with our children, our friends, family, and so on, that silly little external things that might go on that would normally disrupt the average relationship that we see, they have no real effect on us. Yes, they might cause a bit of stress and annoyance in the moment, but we know that the connection is built so deep that we will just overcome it. It's just, it's a moment of chaos, but we will thrive and move beyond it. And if anything, having these conflicts and these collisions will actually strengthen us because what it actually enables us to do is get better at managing and dealing with each other in these relationships so that we know how to then act or, um, act or show up as we move on in the relationship. So essentially, we need to be careful not to just settle for needs, and we have to be— what's the word I want to use— I guess assertive enough to chase what we want. It's one thing to be humble and say, oh well, you know, this is enough. But at the same time, sometimes we have to be a bit rude and a bit ruthless and say, well, even though it's what I need, it's not enough, so I'm actually going to push for more. I believe I, I have more available to me. I believe I deserve more, so therefore I'm actually going to go out and get it. Of course, it will take a little bit of effort. It will take some time maybe, but it's always going to be worth it on the back end, providing you're willing to put in that time to actually reach the result. The catch, as you know, for many of us is we'll have a goal, we'll set a target, and we'll put in some effort in the beginning But because the result doesn't come immediately at the click of our fingers, we then often just give up because it doesn't feel like we're being rewarded quick enough for the effort we put in. So we have to have that element of delayed gratification so that we stay committed to the process, stay committed to the want, and don't end up just settling for the need. So that's my video for you guys today. If you have any questions on this, as I always say to you guys, just drop your comments in the, in the comments box below. And I will get back to you. Or if you have any questions of your own, drop those in too, and I will get those answered in one of my next videos. Take it easy, people, and I shall see you in my next video. Just remember, stop settling for your wants— no, stop settling for your needs, and instead chase down your wants. Take it easy, people.