It's no longer enough to just be a Man

Now the truth is, in today's world, it can be pretty difficult to simply be a man. Now that doesn't make us all victims because, oh, life can be hard to be a man. But the truth is, unfortunately, simply being a man isn't enough. Now I say this because many of us want more from life. We're not really content with what we have. We act like we are and we tolerate it, but it's not really what we want. We don't necessarily want the body we have. None of us want to be overweight, but many of us are. None of us want to be worn out, tired, achy, stiff, and so on, but we are. We don't want to have financial issues and problems and so on, or struggles in our business and issues with leads coming in or failing to convert sales and so on, but yet we struggle with those things. We also don't want shitty relationships with a partner where we don't really want to go home, but many of us have them. And the reason for that is because we've become too content We're showing up and tolerating ourselves as simply being a man. But if we want more from life, we need to ascend beyond that. Now, that doesn't mean because, oh well, as a man you are not worthy. What it means is just being a man isn't enough. It's the start, it's the foundation, but we need to build ourselves into something more. We need to move through the levels and leave the, the status of man. We need to become a leader, a leader of self, someone who can show up and lead myself or yourself on a daily basis. Because the catch is, for most of us, is we show up and we try to lead everyone else, and we try to give everyone else all the best advice and so on. But the catch is that leaves very little for us, very limited capacity to then focus on us and build what we want within our own lives. So we have to learn how to lead ourselves so that ultimately we can level up to the point of being an icon. Now, when I say being an icon, I don't necessarily mean, oh, everyone worships you and is in awe of you. But as an icon, you've become a person who is worthy of veneration. What that means is someone who's worthy of respect, who's worthy of admiration, because you've put yourself in a position of authority and leadership, not only of others, but predominantly of yourself. People see how you show up for you, the discipline that you have around you and your life. And the way that you hold yourself accountable. And that makes them go, oh shit, those are some traits that I wish I had in my life. So you've now left this realm of man, you've ascended through leader, and you've become an icon. And I'm going to show you exactly how this works. This is a system, a system that I teach all my clients. And even though we initially start with body transformation, ultimately we're looking to grow the rest of life. Now we need to transform our bodies, lose the excess weight, get rid of the belly fat, and of course build a vessel that we are happy with and confident in, because that's going to allow us to ascend and build the other domains of life, whether in our business, our profession, or our job, our relationships, so that we can have deeper connection, more intimacy, and more sex. Or whether we just want a greater sense of purpose in life, or a greater vision and target and goal that we can move towards, we need to make sure our body is on point first so that we can do that. Now, the system that I'm talking about, what we're looking at here is having a way of being that is no longer going to keep us stuck where we are. That doesn't mean there's not going to be hard days. Doesn't mean there won't be challenges. It just means that we've changed the way that we show up and operate for ourselves. So now, rather than just allow ourselves to settle back into mediocrity, we're going to push through the discomfort. And we're going to push through to the point of results because we're no longer going to tolerate mediocrity within ourselves and within our lives. So we're looking to ultimately ascend, as I said, from man across to icon. Now, I know almost sounds a bit cheesy. What do you mean you're an icon? But what we're talking about here, as I mentioned, is a way of being. It's a way of thinking, feeling, and acting that ensures that you're perpetually moving forward and becoming a bigger, better, stronger version of yourself. So what we ultimately have is 4 key domains. Now, if we split these up here, what we're talking about is ICONS. So now the first one we have is I, and the I stands for Integrity. This is literally the foundation of everything. We have to be completely honest and in alignment with our truth. Now, that doesn't mean somebody else's truth and, oh, well, they believe something different to me. Doesn't matter. We need to ensure that our own level of truth is in complete integrity with who we believe we are and how we're showing up on a daily basis. So what we need to do at this level is look beyond just our perceived truth and get clear on what the facts are. We need to assess ourselves where we're at. We need to look at, well, what's actually going on for me in my life right now? What about that don't I like? How do I feel about those things I don't like? And then once we've gotten clear and integral with self about what's going on, it's then much easier for us to paint a picture of what we truly want. Because now I have a foundation of facts to build a future from. Because if it's based on lies or fantasy, then fantasy is all I can continue to create, because I haven't been willing to, to live in integrity and get clear with myself about exactly what is going on for me right now. So that's our first one. So our first step is integrity. Next, we move on to the C, which is Courage. Ultimately, what this means is, okay, well, now you've gotten clear on what you want, you actually have to have the courage to start doing something about it. You also have to display this courage when being honest about what's going on here. So when we're at this stage where we're like, what's really going on for me in my life right now? What do I like? What do I not like? What do I want to change? What do I want to build in my future? We have to get obviously clear and integral, but that can only come from the ability to be courageous with ourselves and often expose things about ourselves that we've been hiding, suppressing, and keeping locked away for an extended period of time. But unless we do that, we're still going to continue to show up acting out of integrity. So what we actually do is we have this version of ourselves that we present to the world but it's not the real us. It's the version of us that we believe the world wants to experience of us. Oh, I believe the world expects me to act like this, so therefore that's how I act. Now I say the world, I'm— this could be individuals who you interact with. If you're somebody and you notice that depending on who you're with, you show up with a different personality, different levels of confidence, different levels of assertiveness, and so on, and different levels of belief in yourself depending who you're around, then this is likely where you're stuck at the moment. You're currently failing to be integral with yourself, so you will let go of that in order to feel accepted in the moment and therefore put yourself out of alignment or out of integrity. And nobody really wants to live like that. And unfortunately, we can never build anything of greatness that we can maintain until we learn how to do that. But of course, as I mentioned, that takes courage. That takes the ability for me to now show up as my honest self regardless of the thoughts, feelings, opinions of others. But I can only do that once I've been honest about what's really going on for me. So ultimately, along with now learning how to tell the truth, I have to learn how to stop fucking lying, because that's the biggest issue that most of us have, is we lie ultimately to ourselves about what's really going on, about what we really want. And what we're actually going to do about it. So that's our second one. So we've got integrity, courage. Now, the third domain is ownership. Now, here, in terms of ownership, what we're ultimately talking about here is responsibility, ruthless responsibility of self. Now, many of you might have heard me talk about this before. But it is absolutely essential. It's an essential mindset to have in order to make sure that we show up courageously and remain in integrity. And ultimately, what we're saying here by, by taking ownership or being ruthlessly responsible for self, what we're saying is it is my fault, not in a negative sense, but we're accepting responsibility for the fact that anything in our lives right now, whether good or bad, comes down to us, comes down to the choices that we made and how we chose to spend our time and the consequences that we chose to live with. We might feel like we didn't choose them, but we did. No matter what's gone on, how you reacted, how you responded, what you did in any given situation comes down to you as an individual. And in the moment, it can feel hard and quite confronting. It's like, what, it's all my fault? You mean all this this negativity in my life that I don't want, that's down to me. Well, I didn't know that the food corporations were feeding me junk food all the time and that this food was going to lead to diabetes or was going to make me overweight and unhealthy. Maybe you didn't, but it still comes down to the fact that it was your responsibility whether you chose to put it in your mouth or not. But as drastic as it can sound and as confronting as it can be to accept responsibility, it also gives us a power to now change it. Because if I'm the one that created it through my thoughts, my feelings, and my actions, guess what? I'm the one who can now change it through new thoughts, feelings, and actions. So therefore, I can create a totally new reality by accepting that I created the one that I currently have. And now if I take ownership for that, I can create something totally new over the next coming weeks, months, years, etc. Things can change very quickly if you accept responsibility right from day one. The sooner you do it and the greater the level at which you do it, the quicker you can get results, the quicker you'll find courage, and the quicker you'll manage to remain in, in integrity, which is what ultimately enables you to continue moving forward. So those are our 3 categories so far. We have integrity, courage, and ownership. Now the final one which is our N here, is non-negotiables. Non-negotiables. Now, ultimately what we're saying here is that you must become the non-negotiable in your life. Yes, there will be others and actions and things that will have to become non-negotiable, but what we're saying is that ultimately you are the main, sorry, or foundational non-negotiable in your life. What this means is ideally you show up for you first, not because we're going to start ignoring others, not because we're now going to be selfish and keep all ourselves to ourselves and not help anybody. It's not about that, but it's about making sure that our cup runneth over. We need to be in abundance. The better that we can show up for ourselves and the greater health, fitness, vitality I can have, the more I can now pour into other people. My partner, my children, my colleagues, my friends, my family, and so on. If I want to help others, the only way I can truly do that to the best of my ability is to make sure that the best of my ability is available. And that can only be done if I take care of me first. So it's not about being selfish to be selfish. It's about being selfish to be selfless. So we focus on us, not all the time, every day, and all the rest of it. But we ensure that every day at least something is given to us first so that we then have an abundance or an overflow of energy, resources, time, and so on that we can then share with others who may need it. Particularly if we're people, which many of us are, we, we get many of our emotional needs met by helping and serving other people. And that's great. We should, because ultimately what we all want is a sense of community feeling. We want to feel useful in our community or in our family and so on. And that's great. Like, we should all want that, and it's good that we do. But the truth is, you can only ever give your best if you allow yourself to be your best. And you can only do that when you do ruthlessly— like, we're taking this ruthless responsibility for self— ruthlessly take time and resources and energy for ourselves first to build us up so that we have an abundance or an excess that we can then share with these other people. So then we're not just going, oh, I'm a man. I was sort of brought up and raised to do this, that, and the other. We're no longer just saying, oh, well, this is what tradition says, or this is what modern society says that I have to be in order to be a man. Instead, we're saying, well, regardless of all of that, some of it might be right, some of it might be wrong. But regardless of all of that, what I know is that I need an internal operating system that allows me to show up as the best version of me every single day. Now, that doesn't mean that you're going to be at your best every day, but you show up in each of these domains to the best of your current capacity, and that will ensure that you're consistently moving forward. Even on days where you don't feel like it, even on days where you don't feel like you're actually making real progress, or it wasn't as good as yesterday, and so on. It doesn't matter. You have a foundation to operate from that's going to allow you to build life. Because the catch for many of us is what we find is it feels like life is contracting and our options and our choices and our ability to do things gets less. If our health is declining, your choices and your, your ability to do things is slowly contracting. And obviously, if we're moving more and more towards illness and disease, then we get to a point where often that it contracts real quick. Suddenly I could do these things all— sorry, suddenly I could do all these things when Whenever I wanted and my body would allow me to do it, suddenly we can't because we've got disease, illness, injury, and so on. And the same often happens in business or in relationships. If we're not showing up as the best version and if we're not trying to grow, then ultimately these things are slowly contracting because we're not able to pour into them in the way that we should because we don't have the abundance. We don't have a capacity that is overflowing, and our personal power is shrinking and contracting, and it's keeping us stuck. And feeling essentially like we're imprisoned by the life that we built. It's the life that we chose, but we've ended up with the situations and the scenarios in the day-to-day life that we don't really want. We've just learned how to tolerate it. So if we stop tolerating it, we learn how to be integral, live in courage, take full ownership, and of course, operate at the level of non-negotiable for ourselves, then we're more likely to move forward perpetually and continually get results. Now, if you want me to dig into this any deeper, drop some comments below. If you have specific questions of your own or maybe some insights of your own that you want to share, drop those in the comments below too. And if not, I look forward to chatting with you in my video tomorrow where I'm going to break down each of these different components. Um, over the next few days in each of my videos, I'll break down each one and show you how we actually show up and implement this and break it down so that you can actually implement each one of these components into your daily life so that you can show up as an icon and not just simply a man. Thanks for watching, people, and I look forward to chatting with you all in my next video.