Tyrone Bray tells coaching clients that his belief in them won't carry them long term. You have to own your progress, take credit for your effort, and build your own confidence. When coaching ends, you need to self-coach, or you'll slip back.
So there's this interesting thing that tends to happen with people when they first start working with me. Now, of course, this isn't everybody, but many of the people that will come and see me for a consultation or jump on Zoom and we'll have a chat and so on, they often come in with this lack of belief in self. So part of the reason they're stuck where they are is because they don't believe in themselves enough to consistently take action that will lead them to their goals. Now, this is very common, not such a big deal, not unusual. So what will end up happening is we will chat and they will kind of get an idea of what it is I do, who I am, my program, and so on. And I will obviously get an idea about them, where they're stuck, where it is they want to get to, and so on. And that's all good. But then the reason they decide to move forward is because of my belief in them, because I have certainty in myself and my ability to deliver results for them, assuming they step up and do their part too. They will then go, "Yeah, this sounds good. This sounds awesome. If you think that I can get results, then I will join and I will sign up." So then we sign up. Now, those who manage to reframe that idea over time and go from, "Well, because you believe in me, Tai, I will turn up and do the thing." Those who manage to switch that from that "you believe in me" to "I now believe in myself." Those are the ones who stay successful. So that's why I say my belief in you will not be enough. Now, it may be enough to get you started, but it will never be enough to get you to the end and for you to maintain it. Because what if suddenly I stop coaching and now you're left on your own? If all your belief was in me, well, now you're going to be stuck having to fend for yourself with still a missing belief in self and wondering, well, hang on, Tai's not here now. How the hell do I carry on? So what we have to do over time is build certainty in ourselves through the fact that we're taking action, through the fact that we're getting results, and then we have to fucking take credit for that. Now, one of the problems that many of us have is they will then pass it on to me. Oh, thanks, Tai. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been able to lose the weight. Oh, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been able to reverse my diabetes. Oh, if it wasn't for you, I'd still have high blood pressure. And so on. Now the catch is when you constantly assign the reward or the responsibility for that result over to me, that now still means that your belief is stuck with me. You're saying, oh well, only with Tyrone can I manage to achieve this result, which isn't necessarily true anymore. It may have been in the early stages when you were first getting started and you were unsure and you didn't know what to eat, you didn't know maybe how to exercise, you didn't know how to look after yourself properly. But now that you've gone through the reps, now that you've gained some experience with yourself and what you need to do in order to get those results, you now have to start learning how to take credit for that and take credit for the effort you're putting in, take credit for the changes you've made, and take credit for the fucking results you've gotten so that you can start to transfer that belief that you had in me back to yourself. Now, I bring this up on a social media video because if you are one of these people that in time decides to work with me, you need to know this. Sometimes you might start with me because of my— or sorry, because of your belief in my certainty. I'm very certain in the, in the result that I can deliver for people because I've got lots of experience, lots of results with people, and I know what I can do assuming the person steps up and does the work. So I know the results that are possible and the types of transformations that we can get. So for you to borrow that certainty in the beginning is not a problem. but you must over time transfer responsibility for your results over to yourself and fucking take pride in it. You know, you don't want to constantly be saying to yourself, oh, if it wasn't for Tyrone, I would have never done X, Y, or Z. Oh, if it wasn't for you, because the problem is, as I say, if I'm suddenly no longer in your life, you'll just let it all go because there's still this belief in yourself that you are not capable of doing it without somebody there holding your hand, holding you accountable. And keeping you on track and in the game. Now we know if you've been taking the actions, then you can do it without me. And the reason we know that is because I'm not with you 24/7. Like for the guys that come and work with me face-to-face, they'll see me for maybe between 3 and 5 hours a week face-to-face, and the rest of the time is all down to them. Yes, of course we might check in here and there and we might have an odd engagement over the phone or via text, but their actual time spent with me is 3 to 5 hours at most. Some of my online guys only spend literally 1 hour with me. Now, if they're spending 1 hour with me and getting results, well, the other 6 days and 23 hours is them on their own doing what they need to do, showing up for themselves and getting results. And it would be the same for you. So if you've now proven that 6 hours and— sorry, 6 days and 23 hours you can show up for yourself that 1 hour you spend with me should not be enough to take away your certainty in self and make you believe that you can't do it without somebody else, whether me or another coach and so on. So that's why I say my belief in you will not be enough. Yes, I believe you can get results. I believe you can all get results. Anyone watching this, I believe you can get results. As long as you have breath in your body and a desire to improve, you can make that improvement. But unfortunately, you have to be willing to step up and do what's required to get that improvement. Yes, it might take change. Yes, it might be difficult and require effort. It may even require money at times and an additional resource and time and so on. There are potentially going to have to be certain sacrifices that need to get made, but unfortunately that's the cost of getting the results that we want. So we have to be willing to do that if we truly want those results. So as I say, people, my belief in you will not be enough to keep you on track forever. At some point you have to transfer that belief to yourself, that belief in yourself, and know that you can follow through, continue showing up, and continue getting results for yourself regardless of whether I'm around or not. Now, if you have any questions on this, as always, drop them in the comments below. If you want to learn more about what we do, head on over to strongerthanlife.com. And if not, I look forward to chatting with you all in my next video. Take it easy, people.
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