Should you compare to others?

So today I got asked the question whether you should compare your results to other people. Now, this is an interesting one for me because I see comparison as this double-edged sword. Now, when I see it happen with my clients in the gym, unfortunately, the place that it tends to come from is a place of lack or scarcity relative to the person they're comparing to. So for example, we'll be in the, in the training session and one person might get, uh, 15 reps, for example, and the other one only manages 12 with the same weight. And then what I often see, particularly in the early days until they've done some mindset work and so on, is often the comparison will be, huh, fuck, I didn't get as many as you, or compared to you, that was pathetic. My, my result, my 12 reps versus your 15, was pathetic. So they'll often finish the the set and be disappointed with themselves and their performance because they didn't match what the other person done. So rather than seeing what happened and saw it as an opportunity to get better, instead they see it as confirmation of their lack or their current lower worth or ability. Now of course the catch with this is you end up seeing more and more negative aspects of yourself even though they might not really be negatives. But because compared to this other person that's doing so much better and getting so much more weight moved or results in terms of they've lost 2 pounds this week and I only lost 1, for example, when we compare like that, as I mentioned, it gives us unfortunate opportunities to see ourselves as not being good enough. This person is doing better, which means I'm not doing enough, not getting good enough results. Therefore, I'm not as good as I could be or as good as these other people are. Rather than kind of looking at, well, where am I versus where I was. So we don't give ourselves this opportunity quite often to look back and say, oh, actually, even though this person lost 2 pounds, I still lost 1, which means now overall I've lost 10 or 20 or 30 pounds. So we, we often unfortunately look for opportunities to still consider ourselves shit or not doing well enough and so on, even though we we've actually made massive gains along the way and we've made big progress. And of course, at the moment I'm referring to the body domain, but this could be in your money game, in your relationships, or any aspect of life where you've made progress but failed to look back and see it. We fail to look back and appreciate the progress that we've made, and instead we continue to look forward at the results of other people as a way to make us feel bad in the moment and as though we've not done enough, as though we've not achieved enough, or like we're not good enough, rather than comparing to that original version of us or that past version of us that was even worse technically, rather than looking back at that and going, holy shit, actually I'm pretty grateful for how far I've come so far, and I actually appreciate all of the effort, the time, the resources, the money, or whatever it was I had to invest in order to get this result. I'm actually very grateful for that. I'm actually appreciative of it. And I'm proud of what I've achieved. But unfortunately, when we look at others for comparison to prove to us how bad we're still doing, then unfortunately, comparison can be a bad thing. Now, on the flip side of this, comparison can actually be a massive motivator. It can actually be a huge source of inspiration, providing we come at it from the correct perspective or the right mindset. So rather than looking at another person that's doing better or achieving things that are currently way beyond our capacity, rather than looking at them going, holy shit, look how bad I am compared to them, if instead we looked at them and went, huh, that's fucking awesome, that inspires me to want to be more, want to do more, want to fucking go out and achieve more in my life because I see what's available for me if I'm willing to get out of my own way and do the fucking work required. Now, of course, at times doing that work required is difficult. It's a challenge because it requires us quite often to do things we're not comfortable with, and it requires us to show up and do things that we know we need to do even on the days that we don't want to do it. But it's that ability to make yourself do these things and to push yourself to do these things that builds you into the person you need to be in order to have those results that is that you're inspired by, those ones that you aspire to have in life. It's your ability to push through the hard times that gives you the right, puts you through that rite of passage to own and to hold those results that you can't yet hold. So we have to look at comparison as this— it's a potential negative, but it's also a potential massive positive that can help us move towards our goals as long as we come at them and view them from the correct perspective. Not looking at other people's results and saying, hmm, compared to them I'm shit, but instead looking at them going, Holy fuck, that's what's available to me if I'm willing to do the work. Now, of course, we are often in this place where we've, we've gotten stuck in a cycle of failing to do the work, failing to follow through. So then unfortunately, we sometimes don't see it as being available, even though we see it's possible for these other people. We don't necessarily see it as being possible for ourselves. Because we've let ourselves down repeatedly over the, over the past attempts and over recent times, and even maybe even as far back as years or decades. We've had these cycles sometimes where we've said, oh, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z, I'm going to get a better body, I'm going to earn more money, or whatever it might be. We set these goals, but then we fail to follow through on it. And unfortunately, the more times we do that, the more it tends to confirm to us on a subconscious level that it's not possible for us. It's not, it's not something that's available to me. I'm not good enough to get that outcome, which isn't necessarily a fact, but it certainly feels like the truth in the moment. And of course, we own that as a truth, and therefore it limits our ability to move forward, but also skews our perspective and makes us feel like we're not as good as these other people that are achieving more. So we sometimes, again, have to just be careful of the mindsets and the feeling states that we adopt around seeing other people doing well. And rather than see it as more confirmation of how badly we're doing, we have to practice seeing it as inspiration for what we could have if we were willing to do the work. Now, the work— I keep referring, well, are you willing to do the work? Now, of course, this depends on what it is you want. So if we're going back to body, the key is to focus on the simple daily actions that are required. It's not the one-off biohack that you heard about that someone said was amazing and, and, oh wow, I did this, this particular biohacking technique. Just do breathwork and you'll suddenly lose all the weight. It's not how it works. Oh, just use ice plunges and you'll suddenly lose all the weight. Again, not how it works. These are all tools that you might have inside your tool belt that maybe will help you get towards your overall result, but they're not really the things that move the needle. Especially in the early stage. As always, in the early stage, it always comes down to the basics. So it's a case of, okay, well, I'm in this place where I'm overweight, I'm tired, I'm lacking energy, my body aches, I feel like shit, I want a better body, I'd like to be fitter, leaner, and stronger. How do I get there? How do I look, move, and feel better? Oh, go back to basics. So you mean I need to just focus on resting better? Yeah, most likely, because you're probably pretty worn out and burnt out. Do I need to do some exercise? Yeah, that would probably help. We probably need you to do some form of exercise that stimulates the body in a way where it needs to get stronger. Okay, cool. So we could add in a bit of exercise. And then what about food? Well, food, we're probably not eating the things that we know we should be eating. We maybe need to remove some of the bad stuff, replace it with some of the good stuff. And then what, Ty? Well, aside from Think Right, so that you continue to take those 3 actions, there isn't much else you need to do right now. The catch is you need to show up and do those things daily, and that's where we fail. It's not that we don't know what to do, it's just that we fail to do it for a consistent enough period to see the result. We have to remember there is a period of latency between our action and the outcome that we want. So it's not a case of I did this thing once and now my results were amazing. It's a case of I did this thing once on one day and then I did it again on the next day and then I did it again on the next day, and then I did it again on the next day, and then I did it again on the next day. And then what happens over time, of course, is that we start to build momentum and we start to see results, and we get more and more results over time. And then, of course, that's what enables us to stay consistent, because now we see that, oh, it was these repeated habits and actions that actually led me to the result I wanted. It was those repeated actions that led me to the result that I was inspired by from somebody else who was further along than me, rather than seeing their results as a great excuse for us to stay stuck and continuing to feel like we're not good enough. And because this person is doing so well, that means I'm doing badly. So my question for you guys today is simply this: are you using comparison as a tool to keep you stuck and to justify your lack, or are you using it to prove that you're not good enough? And not doing well enough? Or are you using comparison as a form of inspiration to help motivate and propel you to move forward in more consistent action with more power so that you get greater results? As always, people, any questions, drop them below. And if not, I look forward to chatting with you all in my next video. Take it easy.