Should you "get in shape for Summer"?

So it's that time of year now where people are beginning to think about holidays and getting in shape for the summer. Now, this is always an interesting one to me because the idea of getting in shape for summer is not necessarily a bad thing. The catch is, for most people, is they don't really have much intention to keep it after the summer. It's like, oh, I better get in shape because I've got a holiday coming up. It means I'm going to have to take my shirt off and I don't want to be embarrassed on the beach. I want to look good on the beach, or whatever it might be. Now, that's fine, and of course it's better to get in shape than not. But the catch is, if we find ourselves getting into shape for the holiday and then letting it go, what we often find is that reinforces the belief that we're not good enough to keep it. We're not good enough to stay in shape, because part of the reason that we're not in shape already is there is an aspect of us generally that is feeling like we're not deserving of it. It's not that we don't desire it. Often we don't feel like we deserve it, or we feel like the rest of life is too much. Everything's in the way at the moment, and it's preventing me from being able to do the things necessary to stay in shape. But then what happens is we set a goal or a target. Oh, I need to be in shape for my holiday in the new year, or I've got a summer wedding or something, and I want to be in shape for the photos and so on. So we will have an event that triggers us into action, which is fine. We need something sometimes to give us a kick up the ass and get us going. But the catch is, when we constantly look to things external to us to provide the motivation that we need to get going, then often what we find is once that event is done and dusted, we then drift back to where we were because we've used something external to us to try and motivate us into carrying on and into taking action and therefore getting results. So what we ideally want to do is find a way to motivate from within. We need to find a reason from within us that gives us enough compulsion to go, you know what, this is worth me actually getting in shape for. So rather than kind of think of a particular event such as a holiday or a wedding or something like that, if we can, what we want to actually do is treat life as the event. Because let's face it, we all know that life would be better, easier, more fun, and so on if we were in a fitter, leaner, stronger body. If I felt better about myself, I had more confidence, more self-esteem, and more belief in my ability to take care of myself, life is going to be better. So if I can take life in general as the event and make that the reason why I do these things, that's the reason why I eat better, sleep better, move more and so on. That's why I decide to take care of myself and put in the effort for myself rather than, oh, I've just got holiday coming up. Because as I just said, once the holiday's gone, we tend to let it all go and drift back to where we were before. And then in some cases even further because we often feel like shit about the fact that we've lost the result. We tend to let go even harder than previous and often we will end up drifting further back than we were, which now makes the next time around seem like even more of a task. So, oh my God, I'm even further away now. It's going to take even longer and even more effort. So I definitely can't be fucked this time around. And sometimes, of course, we do it, but it gets harder and harder each time because every time that we, we seem to fail or drift back away from the result that we gained, we trust in ourselves a little bit less. We believe in ourselves a little bit less because it's like, oh, I seem to be able to get this thing, but I can never do what's required to keep it. Or life, it just never seems to line up in the way I need it to so that I can keep it. And of course, it's not really life, it's us and the way that we're handling life. The way that we're dealing with our daily obligations isn't allowing us to focus on ourselves as well, because we've got our focus on all of these external things, other things, other people that we perceive as being a greater priority. So therefore, that moves us down our list of priorities, pushes us to the bottom. And of course, we always get around to us if we're lucky when we've got the least capacity available because we've just spent it on everything else that we're trying to solve and fix and keep, keep in top shape. So we need to, where we can, take a moment sometimes and go, okay, well, it's one thing to want to get in shape for the summer and I probably should do. But what can I do this time around that will allow me to keep my result once I get there? What needs to be different this time versus the last time I got in shape for summer, as a time before, or whatever event it might have been. We often need to identify what it was that made us feel like we had to let go after the event. And of course, it can often feel like it's a bit of a struggle and a bit of a grind to get there. So there's this part of us that's like, fucking, oh, I can't wait until this holiday is done and dusted so I can go back to how I was before. Now, of course, we don't want our body to go back to how it was, but we want our lifestyle the ease of that lifestyle we want back. Because sometimes we pick diets that maybe aren't the most fun or the most enjoyable. They're often over-restrictive, unsustainable, and so on. We'll often pick exercise programs that maybe are effective but don't actually align with the type of exercise we want to do. And therefore, because much of the journey just feels like something we're trying to shoehorn or force into our lifestyle, it makes it well, pretty unattractive in reality. It's something we don't really want to do, so we do it as a means to an end. Oh, well, this will get me the result I want, so I'll put up with it until I've got the result, and then I'm just letting the shit go. So as I say, what we need to do ideally is look at, well, how can I keep this? And then also what things need to change so that I will maintain it post my— or sorry, once I've achieved the goal, once I've achieved it, What needs to be different this time around so that I continue with this new lifestyle? So it's not just about picking a diet and doing a diet, because automatically when we choose a diet, that implies that it's going to be temporary anyway. So what dietary changes can I make that are sustainable that will allow me to get there? And then what type of program or exercise regime do I need for me that will allow me to continue doing it after I've achieved the result and after the event that I'm doing this for is over, whether it's for summer, a wedding, just because you want to look better for a temporary period. Maybe it's for your partner and so on. It doesn't matter what the external thing is. We often need something internal that will keep us on track post-achievement of the goal. So sorry, we just had a comment come in. I thought I'd check this now. Uh, the external— what's to say— the external shit is a massive factor, Tyrone, but 100% personal health is paramount. Absolutely. So I'm not exactly sure who posted that because it just says Facebook user, but that's not a problem. But yes, I would obviously agree as the health coach that personal health is, is paramount. But the catch is, in the moment, the idea of, oh, I just want to be healthier often isn't compelling enough to us because there's not a health crisis going on such as, you know, diabetes or high blood pressure or high cholesterol or cancer and so on. Because we don't necessarily have that type of crisis. The idea of health, even though we know it's what we should want, it's often not compelling enough in the moment to make us consistently take action. So unfortunately, sometimes we need a little bit of an external thing, but often we need some type of goal related to aesthetics and so on. It's like, oh, I want to look this particular way right now in the moment. That's a greater pull or driver for me to get on with this stuff than the idea of health. So something around aesthetics tends to drive us more, or it will be the idea of getting away from the pain that we currently feel for having the body that we want. Now, I don't necessarily mean physical pain. Could be mental, emotional pain where we're, we're lacking in confidence or self-esteem and we hate our body, we're ashamed of it, we feel guilty and so on. So sometimes what we're trying to do is move away from that. So that can be a good driver to get you going, but it won't necessarily get you across the finish line, because ideally we don't want to be driven by a scarcity mindset or trying to run away from something we no longer like. In an ideal world, we want to switch it and run towards something that we desire. So yes, it can get us started using that sort of fear, scarcity, lack mentality, um, or the guilt and shame, or whatever the, the negative emotion is that we're experiencing because our body isn't where we want it. But over time, we would want to reframe that hopefully and put a more positive spin on it. Oh, I'm no longer running away from this bad thing in my body. I'm running towards the good thing in my body that I'm trying to achieve, which of course may include health, as we've just mentioned. But sometimes just the idea of health isn't enough because the word health could mean many different things to, to each different person. So we just need to individualize it and sort of clarify, well, what does health mean to me? Does health just mean my body looks better? I'm a bit slimmer? Does it mean I have to have a six-pack? Does it mean I need bulging muscles? Does it mean I can lift 200 kilos on the deadlift? Like, there will be targets that need to be intertwined into that idea of health in order to make the idea of it compelling for you. So for example, with myself this year, I'm, uh, in the middle of training to get my deadlift back up to 200 kilos, and I want my body fat percentage back down below 8%. So for this moment, my ideal health goals are those particular things. I want my body fat percentage back below 8% and I want my deadlift back up to 200 kilos or above because it hasn't been there for a long time now. So those are my performance-based and aesthetic-based goals that will lead me to the health outcome that I'm after. So that might be one way you want to look at it for yourself. As always, guys, if you have any questions on this, drop them below. And if you want me to dig into it deeper, again, just let me know. And if not, thanks for spending your time with me, and I look forward to chatting with you all in my next video. Take it easy, people.