Should You Love Yourself The Way You Are?

So there's this idea or this narrative that tends to get pushed through society and media and, and whatnot at the moment that suggests that we should all love ourselves no matter what. Now, as a general rule, I can kind of get with it. Like, as a general rule, you shouldn't hate yourself, and it would be favorable if you did love yourself. But there's this idea, particularly around body shape and body size and so on, and, oh, just because you're fat you should just love yourself the way you are. You don't need to change. You can just accept what is. You happen to be a fat person or an overweight person, and rather than do anything, you should just accept it and love yourself the way you are. Now, that kind of shit, personally, I can't get behind. Now, it's none of my business if somebody chooses to remain overweight and fat. Like, that's their thing, that's cool. And if you can genuinely love yourself so much that you're willing to allow yourself to stay fat and overweight, then fair play. But where there's the disconnect with me is my brain says, okay, so you're overweight and you're telling yourself you love yourself so much that you're not going to bother doing anything about it because I'm happy with my body the way I am, I'm happy with what I have, and so on. So there's no need for me to change. I'm not looking for acceptance from outside, which is a good thing. But because I'm not looking for that acceptance, I feel no need to change. Now, the catch is my brain says, well, okay, you are choosing to stay the same and not do anything about being overweight because you love yourself the way you are. But surely if you really loved yourself, you wouldn't allow yourself to remain in an unhealthy state with increased risk of disease, illness, and metabolic conditions and so on. Like, I don't know why if you loved yourself you would allow yourself to stay in high-risk categories for multiple disease and illness and essentially unhappiness and bad life later on. Because unfortunately, most of the lifestyle factors that would have led you to being overweight will eventually lead you to illness and disease as well. So yeah, I don't know, I mean, maybe, maybe, maybe someone here can help me out. Maybe you know what it is that's going on in these people's mind that says, oh no, it's fine, I can just love myself the way I am. Now, of course, I can't talk about specific individuals, but as a general rule, what it appears to be to me is more to do with maybe a lack of belief in self, or a lack of belief that they can actually achieve the outcome that they want. Because let's face it, if you've been overweight and unhealthy for an extended period of time, you now have certain habits and behavioral traits that are going to be hard to break. And unfortunately, they of course work against the idea of being fit, lean, healthy, strong, and so on. So it's going to be hard to break them. We're going to have to face challenges with not only the behaviors, but also how we're identifying with self and the way we see ourselves and so on. And it's going to be challenging. You know, we might even start and get some quick wins and lose some quick weight up front, but the long-term process is difficult. So to me, it appears that many of these individuals that claim, oh well, I just love myself the way I am, what they're really saying is I'm not willing to go through all the hard work required to get to where I'd rather be. And you know, if you can genuinely accept the consequence of that, then maybe it's not such a big deal. But at the same time, maybe you've accepted the consequence, but I personally can't see how that means you love yourself because if you loved yourself, you wouldn't allow yourself to stay in that state. Surely that doesn't mean you have to now go and join a gym and do extreme exercise programs and extreme diets and stuff and get ripped and shredded and all that. That's not what we're saying. But I don't see why you'd allow yourself to remain in high-risk disease or high-risk illness categories and being overweight and probably deep down not really being happy or satisfied or fulfilled with the body you're in. And I don't know why you'd do that if you truly loved yourself. If anything, it seems more like a way to punish yourself for hating what you have. So it's like, oh well, I could, if I really love myself, do something about this, but because I don't actually like myself, I'm not worth putting in the time, the effort, the energy, and the money in order to actually get my body to where it probably could or should be. So instead, I'll just stay as I am because that's a nice way for me to unconsciously or subconsciously show myself that I don't actually care for myself at all. Now, I know maybe if you're sitting there and you're overweight and you're watching this, you may be feeling totally different. Maybe you're one of these people who is thinking, well, you know what, I do love myself the way I am, and that's what it is. And perhaps you can give me your individual insight that could maybe help me understand a little bit more about how this actually works. Because as I say, in my mind it doesn't make sense. Now, if we're applying it to things like race, ethnicity, and, uh, cultural things, and, and things that you cannot change, that I get. Like, you might as well accept it because there are things that are beyond your ability to change. But body transformation, aside from being a challenge relative to the current lifestyle you have, it's a lot— it's a lot simpler than obviously trying to change race or or ethnicity and things like that. So to me, yeah, again, I, I just can't comprehend it. So from that standpoint, I would say if you have sort of fallen into that narrative and you've used it as a way to kind of justify being overweight and stuck where you're at, then I would highly recommend you sit with yourself and really think about, is this really how I would love myself. Like, if I love myself, would I really allow myself to stay like this? Would I allow myself to remain overweight, unable to move as well as I potentially could, potentially at risk of, or sorry, at increased risk of illness and disease, inflammatory processes, metabolic disorders, and so on, and maybe even lacking confidence to a certain degree and self-esteem? Because yeah, maybe I do love myself the way I am, But for many people that are in this situation, they still have confidence and self-esteem issues and an inability to operate at the highest level because their body holds them back. And of course, sometimes, sometimes we will use the body as a shield for certain things. Oh, well, if I, if I don't have this body, then that means I now have to, or I'm more likely to end up in a relationship where I might get hurt and I've been hurt in the past and don't want that again. So sometimes unconsciously we do things like build a physical barrier around ourselves through being overweight, and we're maybe not ready— excuse me— maybe not ready to let go of that security that it provides for us. But at the same time, I think, I think for all of us, regardless of where we're at with our body, it's important to sit with ourselves at times and go, am I happy with what I have? Am I happy with what I'm allowing myself to currently present with and present as? And if I'm not, am I willing to do more? And if I am willing to do more, to what extent? Because of course there is just simply, oh, losing some weight, getting in better shape. And then of course there is taking that further and maybe getting lean and ripped and so on, which isn't essential for everybody but can be a great thing for— excuse me— can be a great thing for many to achieve if they're willing to push themselves that extra mile. Quite often, the confidence, the self-esteem boost, and the, the fact that it proves to you that you're able to achieve something that the large majority of the population isn't able to do can often create a whole new sense of being with an elevated sense of confidence and essentially a new confidence in all areas of life, not just in your body. That confidence tends to bleed into other areas, and you were like, oh well, if I could do this with my body just through some commitment and self-discipline and self-accountability, what could I maybe do in my money game? What could I do in my relationship game? What could I do in my spiritual game, if that's a game you like to play? And so on. And often we can push the boundaries much further because we've allowed ourselves to do it with ourselves. So I'm not going to keep going on. Yeah, if you have any insight into this or opinions of your own, let me know. Feel free to drop them in the comments below. As I say, for myself personally, I can't get my head around how you can love yourself but allow yourself to stay potentially unhealthy and at an increased risk of disease and illness. But maybe I'm missing something. Maybe there's something I don't get. And if so, drop a comment below. Let me know. Give me a new insight. And let's discuss, let's find out. Thanks for watching, people. Any questions, let me know, and if not, I look forward to seeing you all in my next video. Take it easy.