In this motivational monologue, the speaker challenges the common belief that failure to achieve health, wealth, or relationship goals stems from a lack of commitment. He argues that most people are already committed—just to the self‑sabotaging patterns that keep them overweight, unhealthy, financially stuck, or in unfulfilling relationships. These unconscious commitments persist because they fulfill hidden emotional needs, such as a sense of unworthiness or the comfort of familiar discomfort. Fear of stepping outside the comfort zone, anxiety about failure, and the pull of predictable pain reinforce the status quo. The speaker recommends a deliberate "conversation with yourself"—through mental dialogue or journaling—to surface the benefits of the current reality, identify the subconscious contracts, and consciously choose new actions. He also stresses the importance of surrounding oneself with people who embody the desired outcomes, noting that we become the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. The video concludes with an invitation for viewers to comment with questions or ideas.
Chapters
So there's this tricky place that many of us tend to find ourselves, and it's kind of stuck in this place where we appear to have an inability to commit to our goals and of course the desire to reach those particular goals. So it's like, here's what I want, I want to lose 20 pounds, I want to earn more money in my business, or I want a better relationship, or whatever the goal might be. And then over here is where we're kind of stuck in this place of knowing that we should be able to commit and being unable to actually fulfill that commitment and stay disciplined or on track with our daily habits, targets, action steps, or whatever it is we need to do in order to reach that particular goal. Now, if you've sort of been in or around the health industry for long or you've tried this stuff before, there's this idea from the coaches, whether we're talking health, business, personal development, doesn't matter what it is, that you must be committed. And if you're not achieving your goals, well, then you're just an undisciplined, uncommitted person. And unless you, unless you manage to do that, essentially you're kind of failing, failing yourself, failing your loved ones, and so on. And of course, a case can be built and an argument can be made for that, potentially. But what we actually have to look at is what if it's more of a problem that you're already committed rather than you're unable to commit? Because what I tend to find with my clients and other people that I speak to that tend to struggle to reach their goals, it's not that they can't stay committed. They are already committed. The problem is they're committed to the wrong fucking things. They're committed to the things that keep them stuck, fat, unhealthy, overweight, weak, tired, broke, poor, unhappy, and unfulfilled in their relationships and so on. And the catch is, quite often this is an unconscious thing. Like, they're not even aware that those are the things that they are committed to. But all of their effort and energy unfortunately goes into maintaining and sustaining this reality that they don't want. Now, of course, we now want to make change. We want something different in our life. The catch is those subconscious commitments tend to override our desire for this new thing. Reason for that is because quite often we are actually getting something of benefit from this experience that we say or think that we don't like. So what I mean by that is somewhere along the line, this sort of repeated pattern or negative experience that you've got— I'm fat, I'm tired, I'm overweight, I'm unhealthy, or I'm broke, I'm poor, I'm in shit relationship, whatever it might be— something about that is of benefit to you. Now, that sounds crazy to a lot of people. It's like, well, don't be fucking stupid. I don't want this crap in my life. But the truth is there is some emotional need somewhere that is getting fulfilled by you remaining committed to these things that you say you don't want in your life. Now, sometimes it can be because of how we've been made to feel as a child growing up. For example, it's like maybe we were made to feel unworthy or like we don't deserve to have good things in life. So even though we desire these good things, we create a reality that enables us to not have those good things because, of course, well, we don't deserve them. I'm not worthy of that particular outcome. All I'm worthy of or all all I'm entitled to is being unhappy, being unhealthy, being poor, or whatever the thing might be. And then other times it's a case of, well, we're actually, we know that in order to achieve these goals that we want to achieve, we've gotta step out of our comfort zone and that's uncomfortable. That makes us a bit scared, we're a bit anxious, we don't know whether we should or shouldn't, or what if I do it and I make mistakes and I look stupid, or what if I fail and that reinforces the idea that I'm already a failure and so on. So there is lots of things, or there tend to be lots of things that we potentially fear experiencing, and therefore we remain committed to staying where we are because we don't want to experience the discomfort that may come if we make a mistake, or just the fact that we have to push outside of our comfort zone for a while. Many of us don't want to do that. We kind of know that it's necessary, but we avoid doing it. So instead, what we do is we stay stuck in the familiar discomfort that we've created for ourselves. You know, like I've said, we might be unhappy that we're overweight or tired or in pain or whatever it is, but it's familiar to us. Like, we, we know that basically tomorrow we can predict how we're going to feel, what the day is going to be like. We know there's going to be no nasty surprises, whereas as I step into this new future, there are going to be lots of unknowns. So for many of us, we would rather stay stuck in our familiar discomfort than we move— than we would, sorry, to move into and unfamiliar comfort. So what I would, I guess, encourage you guys to do is sit down and have a conversation with yourself. I talk about this a lot, conversation with yourself, and it sounds a bit stupid because we've been brought up to think that, well, if you talk to yourself, you go mad. But the truth is, in my experience, the more you talk to yourself, the more you'll understand why you do these stupid bullshit things in the first place. And when I say talk, you might not be sitting there and literally having a vocal conversation with yourself. You can do this in your mind. You can do it on pen and paper. Pen and paper tends to work brilliant, by the way, almost like journaling. But you literally have a back and forth conversation trying to identify what it is that's going on in your life right now that's keeping you stuck. Like, what, what am I getting out of this? Even though I say I don't want it, what is the benefit I'm currently getting, receiving, or experiencing from this thing that's preventing me from stepping up and actually doing the things I should be doing or want to be doing in order to have this new, bigger, better, brighter reality for myself? Where I'm fitter, leaner, stronger, healthier. I've got more prospects in my life. I've got more happiness in my life, better relationships. I roll with, with— I want to say a higher caliber of people. Not to say the people you hang with are of a low caliber, but sometimes in order to have the new things that we want in life, we need to move into different circles as well, into circles of people and individuals and groups and so on where they are already experiencing the outcome that we want. There's the saying, I'm sure you've heard it, that we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with. So quite often when we want growth and change, we need to spend time with people who are also trying to grow and change or who have already done so. So have a sit, have a, have a talk with yourself, kind of find out why you may be stuck and why you may be struggling to, to move out from this reality where you are, why you're committed to staying stuck where you are. Rather than actually committed to changing your reality and achieving your goals that you have for yourself. Of course, if you have any questions or you, you want to bounce ideas off me or anything like that, just drop your comments in the, in the comments box below and I'll get back to you guys as soon as I can. Thanks for watching, people. Appreciate your time and I will chat to you soon.
