The Mindset You Need, to Have A Guilt Free Christmas... | Link to join in Description

Hey guys, what's up? And welcome to the 5-Day Guilt-Free Christmas Challenge. Now you may have noticed, and I have put a post in the group saying we're having some technical difficulties, so bear with me one moment just so I can make sure that we're actually streaming. Now we are. Awesome. It actually looks like it's finally going live. Somehow my software lost connection with, with Facebook and was unable to put the stream into the group. Anyway, anyway, let's get into it. Give me one moment to set up my screen here. Awesome. So any of you who are now here with us live, thank you for showing up. Thank you for giving me your time. And of course, any of you who are maybe catching me on a replay, thank you for spending your time with me also. I always highly appreciate it. I understand that we're all very busy. There are probably a million and one other things that are calling for your time, your effort, and so on. So I truly do appreciate you spending your time with me, not only for my benefit to obviously enhance the challenge, but also for your own benefit and giving yourself this time to kind of look at where you can maybe improve the way you show up for yourself. Because that's ultimately the problem that we tend to have is we're very, very good at showing up for others, but we tend to not be so great at showing up for ourselves. And even when we're— when that's in times of need, like when we truly need ourselves and we have goals, dreams, desires, wants, we always tend to put them on the back burner and focus on other people's problems and issues because for some reason they are more important than us. And not only is it a case of quite often we perceive them as being more important, it's also a case of we don't see ourselves as a high enough value. We don't value ourselves enough to put ourselves first, even though there's a part of us that deep down knows that's what we perhaps should be doing. And that's of course how we're going to feel better. And how we're going to look better and how we're going to perform better and how we could also help and serve these other people better. But because of years of obviously being kind of taught, trained, and educated in this way, it becomes very, very difficult. So any of you guys who are here with us now, as I say, thank you for being here. And if you can, let us know in the comments where you're tuning in from. I know we've got a couple of people in here who are from America and so on, but if let us know where you're from, and, um, that would be good to get us kicked off here in the comments. It'll also help me to see that the comments section is actually working. And one other thing I will mention, if you get unsure or lost or can't find any particular content that is going to be important for the challenge, as in the daily lives or the challenge of the day and so on, you will find all of that in the guide section. You'll also find it pinned into the features section of this particular group. Now, when I say this particular group, I of course do mean the Stronger Than Life coaching challenge group where the Guilt-Free Christmas Challenge is being hosted. But obviously today I have also gone live in my Stronger Than Life group, the standard group, um, as a bonus session so you guys can kind of experience what day one's about and make a more informed decision about whether you want to join us in the official challenge group for the rest of the challenge. Now, if there's anybody here that is kind of new to me, who I am, what I do, my name is of course Tyrone Bray, and basically you're going to get me for 5 days straight. Now, of course, it's anywhere between 30 and 60 minutes a day, and what I'm going to do is of course show you guys how you can lose anywhere between 10 and 20 pounds of body fat, lose 3 to 5 inches off your waist in as little as 12 weeks, and still get to enjoy all your favorite treats, sweets, snacks, etc. over Christmas. So essentially, you can have obviously what we've been calling this challenge a guilt-free Christmas, because many of us obviously roll into Christmas, overindulge, feel guilty, or we underindulge and feel guilty for, for not allowing ourselves to let go and have fun and so on. So we get caught up in this cycle of no matter which action we take, we end up feeling guilty for it. And of course, that's what we're here to eradicate. And I'll get into that stuff in a bit more detail as we go, because of course today is metabolic mindset. Now, a lot of how we end up feeling is based on the mindset that we have. Now, because of our mindsets, that will dictate our habits, our behaviors, and our actions on a daily basis, which tends to lead to our ultimate feeling state. And it's our feeling state that we're trying to manipulate, and obviously essentially most of us want to feel good. So whether we partake in a behavior which is good or bad, often it's because in the moment we want to feel good or feel better about ourselves or within ourselves. So often we will, we will engage in a behavior that may not be serving to the body, but in that moment it's serving to our emotional state. So that might be having the treat, the sweet, or the snack. Or overindulging, binging, or whatever it might be. And the catch, as I mentioned, is we end up feeling guilty. So we're going to kind of dig into how and why that's come about and what we maybe need to do in order to correct that, what we would call a dysfunction, essentially that dysfunction in our way of operating, so that we can make more powerful decisions moving forward, whether we have it or not, but also not have the negative emotional response as a result of that. Cool. So one other thing that I am going to do today is I'm going to try to slow down. It's very easy for me to just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk at 500 miles an hour and kind of roll from one point to the next. I'm going to do my best to slow down because I know that's somewhere I need to improve myself. Cool. So we've got one of you guys in from Essex. I assume that's probably Bobby. Good to see you, Bobby, and anybody else that decides to join us. Yeah, just let us know where you're checking in from. So let's just clear up any potential confusion that we might have over this challenge. Now, of course, the theme or the idea, the concept, the context is around this idea of having a guilt-free Christmas. So we're obviously kind of talking about the festive period. Now, the catch is, in reality, health, of course, moves way beyond 12 weeks or just the festive period and so on. So yes, it's about learning some tactics that can enable us to have a guilt-free Christmas, but really it goes much deeper than that. Really, it's about taking the opportunity to set the precedent on how you're going to roll through the rest of— or not the rest of— through the next year. So 2024, I forgot what date it was. So yeah, we're setting the precedent for how we plan to show up essentially, hopefully for the rest of our lives, but at least for 2024. Because for many of us, we've had goals that have been going on for years and years and years, and we keep dragging the goal along with us, but we do very little to actually attain it. We keep having moments and we have this spark and this boost of motivation and we go, but then we struggle to maintain it, stick to it. So therefore we never truly reach the goal. Or the other thing that happens is we do reach the goal and we get where we want to go. But then we realize, oh, actually, this is quite difficult to maintain because I haven't had a shift in who I'm being. I had a shift in what I was doing, which got me to the goal. But because I didn't have this shift in who I'm showing up as, this doesn't feel like me. It's like, yeah, great, I've lost some weight or I'm healthier. I've gotten out of pain, whatever the goal might have been, but it still doesn't feel like you. So what happens over time is we let those good habits, those new habits that we had tried to kind of implement we let those start to drift away. And then of course, we revert back to that original physical, physical being that we were prior, the one that's overweight, that's tired, lethargic, in pain, wanting more, but feeling unable to get it or unable to maintain it once gotten. So we need to kind of be careful about how we approach this because it's not just a quick fix. It's not just, oh, well, this is just something I'm going to do every Christmas just so that I have a guilt-free Christmas. This is about ensuring that you can remain guilt-free as you move through the rest of your adult life. Because the catch many of us have is this doesn't play out just at Christmas. This plays out in many areas and aspects of our life. And of course, that limits us. It limits our growth and prevents us being able to achieve in multiple areas, not just in our health. We also then struggle in business and our ability to make money, keep money, and grow money. We struggle in our relationships, whether that's with our friends, our partner, our children, and so on. These physical problems that we have and the way we show up and perceive ourselves tends to bleed into other areas of life. And then we wonder why shit's on fire all around us and we can't seem to put out any of the flames. But it's because we won't take care of the, the, the source of ignition, which tends to be us and how we're showing up. So we need to be careful and make sure that we, we look to actually shift and change who we are as we move through this process, not just a case of temporarily changing what we're doing. Right, I'm going to take a moment, I'm going to slow down, and I'm actually going to get some water. And I recommend you do the same, because of course it's very important to stay hydrated as part of your, uh, health journey and maintaining your guilt-free Christmas, you see. So anyway, let's get back in. So now the truth is, many of us over the past few years in particular have been having a pretty shitty time. You know, many of us experienced the, the lockdown weight gain and all the rest of it. But then on top of that and how we kind of neglected ourselves, there was all this other chaos going on. Obviously we had the pandemic, we had, um, rising cost of bills, rising cost of food, um, struggle with jobs and things like that. And money got tight and, and it became more and more difficult to focus on ourselves, which is of course a big problem. But ultimately, the bigger problem that we have that kind of compounded with this new problem that got stacked on top is the fact that ultimately we are an adult in terms of our chronological age, but in terms of our mindset and the way we show up, we still operate very much as children. Now, what I mean by this is Theoretically, we've got this, this, this state of adulthood that we've reached. Oh, you reached 21, you're an adult now, great. So that theoretically means, well, you know how to take responsibility for yourself. You now show— now know how to show up and operate within the world without the world essentially kicking your ass, or your life kicking your ass, because you've been given the tools, the tactics, the strategies, the skill sets, the mindsets, the heartsets that are needed to show up and operate as an effective adult who isn't kind of fazed by the stresses, strains, and struggles of life. The catch-22 we have is we have, or many of us have, brought a lot of our childhood baggage with us and we didn't let go of it along the way. Now the issue we're talking about here in terms of, well, I want a guilt-free Christmas, which you should want and should be able to have, but the catch is we've got this mindset of if I work hard, if I struggle, if I do something well or something that I perceive as being worthy of reward, then I need to be able to treat myself. Now, the catch with this mentality, as I say, is we often learned it as a child. Oh, whenever you're a good boy or a good girl, here's a treat. Oh, if you do X, Y, or Z and you do it to this standard, or you do this thing, tidy your room or do your chores, then you will get rewarded. So unfortunately, many of us carry this mentality and this way of being into our adulthood. Oh, well, when I was a kid, whenever I'd done something good, I was allowed a treat. So now when we're an adult, we feel like, oh, whenever I do something good or something worthy of recognition, then I deserve to treat myself, indulge myself, give myself some kind of pleasure for this hardship that I experienced. Now, I'm not to tell you whether that should or should not be the case for you as an individual. The catch is, though, for most people, whether they believe they should or should not be allowed to do that, is it often doesn't serve them. That behavior doesn't serve us because it leaves us in this place of entitlement. Whenever we do something, it's like, now I'm entitled to this thing, this pleasurable thing that I want. The problem that we tend to have, of course, is that that pleasurable thing that we want often works against the bigger, greater goals that we have for ourselves. And society has done a very good job of essentially— what's the word I'm looking for— society's done a very good job of essentially making us entitled, but also making us feel like the treats and things that we tend to lean on are good, and then the good things that we should do are boring and they're not exciting and they don't help or serve us. Because what we're generally trying to do, as I mentioned earlier, is serve that emotional need, not necessarily the logical, realistic need that we have. Oh, I want to be fit, I want to be lean, I want to be strong, I want to be healthy, I want to be pain-free, able to play with my kids. Like, we know that the things that lead to those outcomes are different to the ones that lead us to being fat, unhealthy, overweight, and so on. But the catch is the actions that we perceive as treats— having junk food, having takeaways, snacks, cakes, biscuits, and all the rest of it— we see those things as treats. Now, of course, from my perspective as the health coach, I would say, well, how is eating these things on a regular basis and ultimately taking yourself away from health and away from the goals that you have, how is that treating yourself? Like, from my perspective, that's actually a form of self-abuse when it's done consistently. So I'm not— sorry, consistently. So I'm not saying you can never do it. I'm just saying when these treats start to outweigh the way that we're showing up for ourselves on the positive, well then that becomes a problem because of course we move ourselves further and further away from our goals and we find it harder and harder to do the things necessary to reach our goals. But yet in the same time, we develop more and more of a desire or need for the treats, sweets, and snacks because we need to feel good more and more. So we end up using things like food, things like porn, things like bingeing Netflix, things like drugs, alcohol, etc. All these things to sedate us and ultimately make us feel good in the moment because we haven't worked out how to operate as an adult and feel good all the time. Now, when I say feel good all the time, of course, within the realms of realism, because there are always going to be good days, there are always going to be bad days and good moments and bad moments. But the catch is many of us are stuck in this lull of life where nothing really inspires us, nothing really motivates us to kind of step up and be more. We have this idea that we'd like to be. We probably know even that we're meant for more, but we struggle to step into that new reality because most of us are living a life that we don't really want. So that makes it harder for us to avoid and turn down those treats, sweets, and snacks that we maybe shouldn't be indulging in quite so much. And of course, we get just caught in that loop. We get stuck and we struggle. Now, at the same time, there's this element of guilt that follows all of this because we know deep down that we shouldn't be binging all the time. We know we maybe shouldn't be sat on our ass for 4 to 6 hours a night on average binge-watching TV and all the rest of it when we could have perhaps gone to the gym, we could have perhaps prepped some good food or whatever the thing might have been. But the catch is when we sit in this place of I should or I should not, that again leads to a place of guilt because it's a type of self-obligation. It's like, oh, I should have done this, but I didn't, so now I have to feel bad. Oh, I shouldn't have done that, but I did, so now I feel bad. And the catch is many of us actually get addicted to that cycle, not necessarily on a conscious level or on a mindset level, it's more on an emotional level. Like, our body gets so used to that cascade of emotions that we get addicted to that cycle, because anytime we experience an extreme low or an extreme high in emotion, that gives us the, the experience or the essence of life. Like, we're living in the highs and lows. When life is just kind of flat, then it doesn't really feel like we're living much. And many of us struggle to hit the peaks of emotions, like the, the positive ones and so on. Because there's so much negativity that tends to go on around us. So instead, because it seems too hard to chase the pleasure, it becomes much easier for us to chase the more negative emotions. And we do that through moments of pleasure that we have when we have these bad things. But we do want the bad thing because it makes us feel good in the moment. But there's a part of us deep down that often wants the negative thing as well, Because if we can get the negative emotional response on the back end, where we've gone into this pit in this cascade, where it's like, oh, I had the thing, it was lovely and wonderful and all the rest of it, then it's like, oh shit, I shouldn't have done that. So we feel guilty about it. And then it's like, well, you shouldn't have done that. Why did you do it? You were stupid, you were bad. So now we feel angry about it. And then we start to blame, shame others, ourselves, our environment for this thing, you know, and essentially make ourselves a victim of our own behavior. But what we won't do is often step up and take responsibility like an adult would. We remain in that child mind where it's not my fault, it's not my fault I did this thing, it was because of X, Y, or Z. So we need to be careful. Again, I know I keep saying we need to be careful, but what I'm essentially saying is we need to get to this place where we can kind of step back and almost learn how to observe ourselves. We need to become an observer of self and the way that we operate on a daily basis. Because it's how we're showing up that is going to dictate the outcomes that we get. But if we can kind of step back and observe how we're operating, that gives us the opportunity to kind of intervene when we're about to do something we maybe should or should not. So again, it's a case of stepping up as an adult. It's about going, okay, well, these are the outcomes I want. I want to lose 20 pounds, I want to lose 30 pounds, I want to get out of pain, or I want to earn $100 grand a year. Like, it doesn't matter what the goal is, you have to know how to show up for that. But the catch is, every day that we wake up, we're now given a new opportunity to decide, well, am I going to show up as the version that is going to chase down this goal, or am I going to show up as the version that's like, yeah, can't be bothered today, feel a bit shit. You know what, I might have some ice cream, I might have some cakes, I might do all these other things that make me feel good in the moment, but will make me feel worse in the long run because there's this part of me that knows I shouldn't have eaten that. I should have done this instead. And as I say, well, you feel guilty for doing the thing that you did, and you also feel guilty for not doing the thing you felt you should have. So you've got this double kind of whammy of, of guilt pouring in. So when this comes to things within the context of the guilt-free Christmas, it's not really about, oh, get to Christmas and because you've worked so hard in the run-up, you can now eat what you want, do what you want. Like, there is an element of that and you can, and I'll explain exactly how that works as we go through the challenge, particularly on day 3, metabolic meals. We will be digging into the different options that you have for how you're going to tackle Christmas. But the guilt-free element doesn't necessarily come from the actions that you take. It comes from the power within which you stand in when you make the decisions to either indulge or not indulge or train or not train or sleep well and not well and so on. It's more about the energy that you stand in when you make those decisions rather than the energy that you're left in as a result of unconsciously making those decisions and just letting your urges take over. So that's what we're going to be kind of going through really throughout this challenge. It's not really just about Christmas. It's about who you can become in the long run. So that health becomes a piece of piss. And that's ultimately where we all want to be. The catch for many of us, we can't maintain good health or a good body, good fitness, strength, and so on because we see it as this challenge. It's this thing outside of me that I can only temporarily hold or work towards. I can never truly own it. But we never truly own it because we're not willing to become the person who can. You know, we're too focused on being the person who can't. Or trying to avoid being the person who can't. But we live in this reality where unfortunately whatever we focus on expands. Whether you focus on, I don't want to be fat, or I'm not going to be fat anymore, I need to do different things that allow me to not be fat. Because the, the idea in your head is based around fat, we often end up finding ourselves stuck fat rather than going, oh, actually, rather than trying to not show up as the fat person, I'm instead going to show up as the fit, healthy, lean person. And what I mean when I say this is in terms of your actions. So in terms of your behaviors, you show up as that new version already. And what we do essentially is act as if. So we act as if we already have the outcome. Now, it doesn't have to be at the pinnacle of action, as in, oh, everything is absolutely perfect every moment of the day, but it's about showing up enough to start moving the needle in the direction you want it to go. Because unless we do that, we kind of do things, we take action, and essentially what we're really doing is activity, not action. And as a result, we feel like we're putting in effort, but we're not seeing the results on the back end. And because we're not seeing the results, it becomes very difficult for us to maintain, sorry, our new actions, our new habits, behaviors, and we end up just back where we are because it's like, well, I'm doing all this work but not receiving any of the pleasure on the on the end of it, whereas I could just have the pleasure now if I just indulge in the crap. So we need to make sure that our action is adequate enough to get a result, because then it will feel more pleasurable. And then when we realize, oh, actually I do feel better, I look better, my body doesn't hurt so much, I can actually play with my kids, I can go out and do physical activities with my friends and so on, or whatever your specific goals might be— when we realize how much easier that stuff is when we're, when we're actually showing up for ourselves, then it becomes much easier to maintain that momentum and not feel like maybe I do want to go back to the dark side and kind of sit in my, my pit of shame and guilt and so on. All right, let's get started. Let me just check the comments here, guys. Now, of course, if you guys have any questions on this stuff as we're going through, or if I say something and it confuses you a bit, feel free to drop them in the comments and I will of course get them answered. I'm just checking here, I've got no names up on my screen again. Ah cool, so it was Emma saying late to the party. Hi Emma, good to see you. Oh, and Douglas in from Suffolk. Yep, yep, not only Suffolk, half a mile down the road, but there we go. Right, so now of course we've kind of been been focused so far on the problem. Now, the advantage that we have and the good thing in life, wherever we've got a problem, a struggle, there is always going to be a possibility or an opportunity on the other side. We don't have to remain stuck in the problem. If we remain problem-focused, then again, all we tend to see and find is more and more problems. Oh, every time I fix a problem, here's the next one. Oh, now I fixed that problem. Here's another one. So we need to be mindful of the fact that, oh, okay, if I've got a problem, what I'm also being presented with here is an opportunity. Now, the opportunity, of course, from the perspective of the guilt-free Christmas, is to be able to have your cake and eat it too. Now, what we mean is, it's like, well, I could show up for myself regularly on a daily basis. I could make the effort to become the new version of me, someone who basically has health and fitness and strength, etc., just as a natural byproduct of my lifestyle, then it doesn't matter whether I indulge in Christmas or not. I will maintain my health, my fitness maintains, because this isn't something new to me. It's not something I've just temporarily done in order to get a body for a temporary period of time. It's like, no, this is who I am. This is how I show up for myself, because I know that I operate better. I know that I look better. I know that I feel better and I know that my body moves better when I show up for myself in this way. And because I show up for myself in this way on a regular basis, that means that it doesn't matter if I indulge over Christmas, doesn't matter if I gain a pound or two or 10 over Christmas because as a natural byproduct of my general lifestyle, I'm naturally gonna lose it and end up back to my optimal weight, strength, size, fitness, et cetera anyway. So this is the possibility that exists on the other side. Like this stuff can be effortless. But instead of seeing it as something you've got to do, we see it as something we love to get done. And not only that, we don't come at this from the perspective of, what am I going to do for this temporary period of time in order to get this temporary outcome? We go, okay, well, what are these changes that I myself can or will make in my lifestyle so that I can actually have this without it being an effort? I can still enjoy my favorite treats, sweets, and snacks, whether at Christmas or throughout the year if I really want them, but I don't do it at the detriment of my health. The way I take care of myself outweighs the way that I don't show up for myself, so therefore I get the positive outcome on both sides. It's like I get to enjoy the bad stuff if I want it, and I get to enjoy the good stuff if I want it, but either way I maintain health, I stay healthy, I stay fit, lean, strong, and so on. So That's where we're trying to get to. We don't want to be stuck in the problem all the time. We want to get to a point where, yes, there is a problem, but now I see an opportunity and here's how I'm going to work on it. Now, when it comes to metabolic mindset and overcoming this idea of guilt and so on, there are a few things that we need to do. And in reality, there are, there are probably 3 key mindsets that we need to kind of adopt in order to allow us to show up correctly for ourselves each day. You know, like the adult that we spoke about earlier, not the child who needs to be treated and rewarded and who's entitled, but instead as an adult who says, okay, well, actually, I did achieve something. I will recognize that, but not necessarily with a treat that hinders my health. Maybe instead I'll choose one that actually helps my health. Or if I do choose to have the treat that will perhaps hinder my health, I won't put myself into this guilt, shame, and blame cascade as a result, because the catch we have and often don't realize is often the emotional response to the behavior we, we, we partook in. The emotional response is often far more damaging to the body than the food would have been anyway. So if you'd have just had the cake and been like, oh cool, I had some cake, it was lovely, actually, I really enjoyed that. Never mind. Now I get back on with my normal healthy lifestyle. It's not a big deal. But when we have it and then guilt, shame, and blame ourselves on the back end— well, so now you had the bad food which fucked up your blood sugar and all the rest of it, but then you put yourself on this emotional cascade and put yourself into a fight or flight or stress response— well, now we've got kind of this double whammy of negativity from one act, whereas we could have just had the thing, enjoyed it, and moved on. And that's where we want to get to, this point where our, our emotional pendulum is not struck or swung so, so hard or so abruptly anytime we do something that we believe we should or should not have done. So the first of these mindsets, the first one is I build my body and life by design and not by default. So this is where we say, you know what, I'm no longer a victim of the world around me. I'm no longer a victim of my unconscious behaviors because I'm going to take the opportunity to kind of slow down a bit. This is a bit like I said, I need to slow down with this, with my delivery on the challenges, because it's very easy for me to just flow and I try to fill in all the gaps. And part of that is my own discomfort. And it's often the same in life. Many of us don't want to slow down and experience ourselves because we realize the discomfort that we have in the moment. It's like, oh shit, turns out I'm actually pretty unfulfilled with the life I have. There are a lot of things that have gone on or that I've experienced that I haven't fully managed to let go of. And because I've carried that baggage with me, I don't actually enjoy allowing myself to experience the moment. So often what we will do is we will try to fill it and we fill it with the treats and the sweets and the sedation and so on. And because of that, we just aimlessly go through this life. We end up with an outcome, but it's an outcome by default, not by design. It's not the outcome we consciously chose. It's the one we got stuck or left with because we aimlessly or unconsciously went from one action to next to the next to the next to the next. So that's the same, like, with my— with, with me slowing down here. Like I say, it's— I sometimes feel uncomfortable myself because I'm still not super confident going live and all the rest of it. So there's this moment when I'm in silence where I feel uncomfortable. Shit, no one's saying anything. I need to fill the gap. What if they get bored in this moment of silence? But I have to understand, actually, if I step back and take that moment that's actually going to give you an opportunity to process what the hell it was I just said, and then maybe come to your own insights and revelations about you, and then maybe about what you need to do on the back end. So we need to be willing to step up and go, okay, well, actually, no, not only am I an adult chronologically, but also in the way I'm showing up and being, I also operate as an adult. So we step back and we learn how to slow down and observe so that we can actually go, well, here is the outcome I set. Here is the behavior I'm about to engage in. Will this particular behavior lead me to that outcome? Now, if it will, do I want to continue taking this action? Yes, I do. Cool. So I take the action that leads me to the outcome. Now, if the action won't, we still have the opportunity to decide, hmm, this action isn't actually going to serve this outcome that I want. Do I want to engage in it? Yes or no? If you do, so what? So it's not a big deal. And we get to this in the, our next, um, in one of our later mindsets. But when we choose not to engage in— sorry, when we choose to engage in the behavior that we know won't serve this, because we've now given ourselves the opportunity to observe what we're about to do, we can now choose to not have the negative emotional cascade that will come. Actually, no, I chose this from a place of consciousness. Like, I, I actually decided I was going to have this regardless of the fact it's not going to lead to my goal. And because I've chosen this, this outcome, there is no need for me to feel bad, feel guilty, or feel like I should have done such and such because I chose not to. And because I chose not to, I understand and accept the consequence that it may not lead me to— excuse me— may not lead me to my goal. And it's not a big deal because in this moment I would rather have this thing then delay my pleasure or my gratification and wait for the goal. So that's all it's about. It's not really about kind of punishing yourself or not allowing yourself to have pleasures. It's more about learning how and when to choose them, or if we do choose them, learning not to have that emotional, that negative emotional cascade as a result. Cool. So that's mindset number 1. Now, mindset number 2 is the urgency of life does not outweigh the importance of me. Now, many of us get caught up in the stress, the chaos, the overwhelm of life. Like, we all tend to have far too much going on, whether we like to admit it or not. Most of us have far too many things going on. We're trying to juggle too many balls and spin too many plates all at the same time. And as a result, we tend to leave very little time for ourselves. Now, some of it is, like I was saying earlier, It's because we're kind of conditioned to help and serve everyone and everything else first and leave ourselves to last. But it's also because there is a part of us that knows we're going to have to slow down a bit. We're going to have to kind of sit in ourselves and experience ourselves how we are. If we actually take the time to slow down and realize, actually, when I look at this logically and from a place of heart, I am more important than all these other things. The problem is, again, we often feel guilty for prioritizing ourselves over others. It was like, well, who are you to be more important than this thing? And the catch is, you are more important than that thing. It's difficult to feel that way because we've been taught, trained, educated, conditioned, and so on to feel different. The church does the same, you know, it's not about you, it's about giving back to God and giving to others in your community and giving to the church. And, and that's whether you're religious or not. But this stuff trickles down into society. So we often all end up experiencing the same negative outcome and this, this sense of obligation to help everything and everyone else because we perceive it as more urgent. Now, it's fine for something to be urgent, but when something's important, we need to step up and consciously make the decision. Now, what I mean is urgent things get taken care of anyway. It's urgent, right? So you've got no choice. At some point it's got to get done. But when something is not urgent but it is important, we have to make the decision from a place of power. We have to go, hold on a minute, yes, that stuff is urgent, but because it's urgent, it's going to get done. But me, I'm important. I don't perceive myself as urgent, which we often don't. So instead I need to go, all right, well, because I'm important, it's important that I show up because let's face it, if you show up as the best version of you, then you can serve your children at the highest level. You can serve your partner at the highest level. You can serve your friends, your community, or your job, or whatever it might be at the highest level, because you know that you are taken care of first. Because all of these other things and how you experience them, well, you're the foundation of that. You're literally the filter through which you experience all these things. So if your filter is falling apart and crumbling and broken and twisted, well, then everything else is going to seem a bit shitty and often you can never fully give your best to these things because you're not operating at your best. So we need to kind of make sure that we are operating at our best first so that we can then give to others more selflessly and without guilt, without resentment, and so on, because we know that we're taken care of. And because we're taken care of, we can take care of all these other things outside of us at a much higher level without sacrifice or detriment to ourselves. Sorry, just got to slow down here. Sorry about that. Bit of a runny nose randomly. Cool. So that's mindset number 2. So number 1, of course, was that I build my body from a place of design and not by default. Number 2 is the urgency of life does not outweigh the importance of me. And our third one, which kind of ties into the first in some respects, is sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, so what? Now what this means essentially is we're letting go of our emotional attachment to our decisions. Now some of them is going to be very difficult because some of our decisions may affect big aspects of our life and so on, but these general day-to-day ones— should I have the cake or should I not? Should I go and train or should I not? Should I eat a healthy meal, should I not? These types of decisions shouldn't really influence our emotional pendulum much. You know, the swings and the highs and the lows and all the rest of it. In reality, they should be pretty simple, easy decisions. Now again, there's me saying should now, but in reality it should be. It should be simple stuff. They're simple decisions. But the catch is, as I say, because we've put ourselves in these, these alternate states that aren't serving of our, of ourself and our health, it becomes hard and we make decisions and then we regret them or we make decisions. And even if it's not full-on regret, regret, there's still this place of us that's like, I wish I had or I should have done and so on. So we need to be careful and we need to kind of become a bit more, not completely apathetic, but less emotionally responsive to it. So if it's, if I've got the cake there or the treats or the sweets, whether it's now or whether it's over the Christmas period, it's like, well, are you going to have some? It's like, yeah, well, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. So what? Makes no difference. If I have it, cool. If I don't have it, cool. Because I know I take care of myself at a level where it doesn't really matter. And that's the key. That is taking care of yourself in the general sphere or span of things to a level that it doesn't matter whether you have these things over Christmas. Oh, I had a few glasses of wine. Cool. It's so insignificant in relation to the way you show up and take care of yourself that it didn't matter. And then there's a case of, oh well, I didn't have any wine over Christmas, or I didn't have any treats, sweets, and snacks over Christmas. You know what, I just chose to eat healthy. Cool. So what? Now of course I'm not saying don't congratulate yourself if you feel that's a great achievement for you, but what I mean is you don't allow it to swing your pendulum too far. So it's a case of we're not looking to feel overly prideful, we don't want to feel overly guilty on the other side, so we try to remain more neutral about these simple day-to-day decisions. Now I say simple, they're of course not simple for everybody, but in theory they're relatively simple decisions. Do you want the cake? Yes, I do. Do you want the healthy food? Yes, I do, or no, I don't, and so on. So it's allowing ourselves to, again, to step back and take a moment and say, well, do I want this? Yeah, maybe. Do I want that? Yeah, maybe. Or no, maybe. And so on. So it's sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. So what? No emotional attachment. Because if you can stay more neutral when making these decisions, it becomes much easier to repeat them. So what I mean is, if I decide, you know what, today I'm not going to have the cake because I'd actually like to lose some weight by the end of the week, or whatever it might be. Then it's a case of, cool, well, I chose to do that, no big deal. I won't feel bad or feel like I missed out because I didn't have the cake. And when I get to the end of the week, I can step on the scale or do my body fat percentage or whatever it's going to be and be like, awesome, I lost weight this week, or I lost body fat this week. That's good. That was because I made the right decision that, that was in alignment with this outcome that I wanted. Now with that, I now have another choice. Well, Am I going to get super excited and allow my emotional pendulum to swing? Or am I just going to be like, cool, I didn't have the cake. Turns out I lost the weight. All good. And again, that's up to you. What I would recommend, if you are going to have these emotional swings in the pendulum, focus them more on the positive ones. So it'd be a case of, oh, well, I didn't have the cake. No big deal. Holy shit, I stepped on the scale. I lost 3 pounds. Fucking awesome. So you can have the swing. But where possible, make sure it's more towards the positive because many of us are stuck in the negative grind anyway. So if we can have more of the positive stuff, that's going to help uplift us and keep us on the journey anyhow. Because if the whole thing feels completely flat, like I mentioned earlier, we tend to get bored. And yes, bored in mind, but also bored in feeling state. Because as I mentioned earlier, life is experienced in the highs and lows, but you don't have to always have the lows or always have the highs and so on. But if we're gonna pick, if we can choose, we might as well have the more positive experience right now. There is the positive experience of I had the cake in the moment, but that's often followed by a negative. Whereas if you jump on the scale at the end of the week and you've lost 3 pounds, there is going to be a far lesser, if any, negative. Like, oh shit, I've lost 3 pounds, I wish I'd have had some cake. Like, I don't know anyone that's ever fucking done that. We might go, oh I got on the scale and I put on weight. I shouldn't have had the cake. But was very rare. In fact, I say very rare, like I just mentioned, I've never experienced anybody get on the scales at the gym and go, oh, turns out I've lost weight. That's shit. I should have had some cake or ice cream. That never happens because obviously if your goal is to lose weight, you want to see the weight go down. So that's why I always— or what I've been saying, sorry— we need to learn how to step back because when we give ourselves a moment to think about the way we act and think about how we might respond to the outcomes we're creating for ourselves, then it becomes much easier to go, oh yeah, of course, I'm not bothered about that. Oh, I would much rather lose weight at the end of the week or lose some belly or gain some muscle or improve my fitness and my strength and so on. I'd rather feel better long-term every day. I'd rather show up and wake up and feel good than just have this moment of pleasure for, for the 20 minutes before my blood sugar crashes and I feel like crap and overindulged and so on. So that about wraps us up for today. So of course we've had our problem, which is the case of us being often entitled and feeling like we need some kind of treat or reward for effort. So that's more of our issue than the indulging itself. Like if we were just choosing to do it as a byproduct of our lifestyle, not a big deal. But when it's a victim of our lifestyle and the fact that we feel like we deserve it because we've done something that we feel deserves merit, that's the issue. So it's, it's about changing that energy that we come at life so that it becomes much easier. Then of course, on the flip side of this, it's like, well, you've told me I can have a guilt-free Christmas, Ty, that I can indulge in all my favorite treats plus still lose the weight. You absolutely can. And as we get into the tactics over the next 3 days, I'm going to show you how you can do that. But what I will also make you aware of is there is a possibility you might not want to because you might be like, you know what, I feel so much better now and I've been getting all these results. The weight's been coming off. I don't actually want to fully let go and completely indulge over Christmas. And you may put caps and limits on it or you may decide not to at all. This will be your choice. And that's what it's about. It's about choice, showing up as an adult and making a choice. That's not going to negatively affect us on an emotional level so that we maintain that good, strong mindset that helps us take our results that we gather before Christmas and then roll them into the new year regardless of how we choose to show up in that Christmas period or that festive period. Okay, so that's what I'll be showing you over the next few days. So tomorrow we've got metabolic movement— sorry, metabolic meals, not metabolic movement. So I messed up earlier when I said Wednesday was metabolic meals. That's actually tomorrow. So day 2 is metabolic meals. Day 3 will be metabolic movement, and day 4 will be metabolic melatonin. So this is where we get more into the tactics, the strategies, like, well, what are the things I need to do on a daily basis, Ty, that are actually going to help me lose this 10 to 20 pounds and this 3 to 5 inches, and the things that are going to allow me to indulge over Christmas should I choose to do so? So that's the stuff we're going to dig into. Now before we do that, we need to kind of get clear on where we are. Now of course we've spoken about like these emotional states and the pendulum swing and so on, but ultimately we are currently at a place with our body. If we're showing up here, we're likely at a place with our body that we're not totally happy with, or we may be even fucking disgusted with. Now we need to get clear on the facts of that, like what is actually going on for me in my body, in my mind, etc. Like and what's going up— sorry, what's going on in the way I've been showing up for myself? Like, what have I been doing that's led me to this point? Now, once we've opened up these two points, we've got what we call the gap. And within that gap, it's a case of, cool, well, what do I actually want on the outside of this? It's like, here's what I've got as a result right now in my body. Here are the things I've been doing to get there. Let's get rid of those. This is what I now want on the, on the other side. How do I get from this point to this point? How do I reach my goal? And that's what we're gonna obviously be digging into over the next few days, but your challenge of the day is to complete your current facts worksheet. So this is now about to be dropped into the group, so it may even be live now. Nope, I'll click live on that in a moment. So basically there'll be a worksheet in there. Again, like with the live feeds, et cetera, they'll all be pinned in the featured and the live section if you can't find it in the feed. But all you do, print off that sheet, it's only 2 pages, and fill out the questions. That will give you an idea of exactly where you are and exactly where you want to go. And then of course, it also gives you the opportunity to share your biggest takeaway on the sheet. And then what I want you to do, so you'll fill out the worksheet, get some sort of clear understanding on your current facts, that foundation of what's really going on for you right now. And then what I want you to do is share your biggest takeaway in the group. So you can, if you wish, if you have the courage, you can go live, grab your mobile, just go live in the group, let us know what your biggest takeaway was. Or if you don't want to go live, not a problem, but just stick a post in there, let us know what your biggest takeaway from today was. And, um, I think that's it. Let me just double-check. Oh, and there is a step 3 if you want. Sorry. Yeah, so step 1 of the challenge of the day: complete your current facts worksheet. Step 2, post in the group, let us know your biggest takeaway from today's session. And Step 3, which is optional, is to actually share your worksheet. You don't have to, but if you want to fill it out and then share that with the group to help kind of inspire and motivate others and kind of hold each other accountable and add in some support there, you're more than welcome to do so. Now, I don't see any more questions come in just yet. What we got here? Emma can't join in on Wednesday, but I'll catch up. Absolutely no problem. Yeah, so that's it. That's exactly it. That's how it works. If you can't show up live, not a problem at all. Just catch us on a replay, um, so you can just show up whenever you're ready that day and, uh, yeah, fit it in in your, in your own time. Wednesday there'll be a little, little bit of, uh, getting physical. Not during the session, but you have the opportunity to do so after. That's where we get into metabolic movement. And I'm going to show you guys how you can get a really effective workout in a very short period of time. Because one of the biggest things that tends to hold us back is our perception of lacking time. I haven't got the time for this, I haven't got the time for that. Cool, you maybe don't, but there are ways that we can make effective use of time and still get awesome results regardless of the time constraints that we believe we have. But we'll dig into all of that on Wednesday. So Thank you for showing up, people. Thank you for being here live. And of course, if any of you are catching us on a replay, thank you very much. Your time is just as precious and just as important to me. So thank you all. Thanks. Sorry. Thank you to those of you who have engaged. And of course, if you have any questions, just post them anywhere in the group and I will get them answered as we go through the challenge. I will make sure that all of you leave here with all of your questions answered. I don't want any kind of information gaps or uncertainty. So that when you get to the end of the 5 days, you're like, well, what do I do now? I want you to get to the end and know exactly what you're going to do. And that's whether you choose to come and run this with me, because there will be the opportunity for you guys to do this with me. So I'm going to teach you everything that you need, and then you can go off and do that on your own. Or of course, I'm going to give you guys the opportunity to come and run with me, and I'll do it alongside you. We can tweak and hone things and make them more specific to your specific struggles and lifestyle. But you may be confident and certain enough to run on your own, and that's absolutely fine. But we'll dig into that later in the week. That will likely be on Friday. So any questions, let me know, people. And if not, thank you for your time. Thanks for watching, and I look forward to seeing you all in tomorrow's session. Take it easy, people.