You Are BOTH The PROBLEM And The POSSIBILITY!

One of the trickiest places that we tend to get stuck in is this place of always trying to blame something or someone outside of ourselves for us not having the life that we want, the body we want, the money we want, the relationships we want, and so on. We are always looking for a reason outside of us to pin the blame on. Now, whilst in the moment it might feel like that's the best thing to do. It's like, oh well, I need to find a reason for why I'm stuck in this, in this place I'm in. I need to find a reason for why I can't achieve the body I want, why I can't lose the weight, why I can't stick to a diet, why I can't stick to an exercise plan. And in doing so, quite often we will find what we consider in the moment to be the reason why, or the excuse why. It's always because I just have too much going on at work right now, Or every time I try and get into a routine, my partner then was always down my neck because I'm never at home enough and I don't spend enough time with the kids. Or maybe it's I don't have enough money. I don't have the money to eat healthily. I don't have the money to consistently go to the gym. Or I don't have the, the resources required, or the even the energy right now. It's like I want to have more energy because I know I feel my body kind of getting weaker and more lethargic and, and kind of I'm getting worn down by my lifestyle. I want to feel better, but I don't feel like I have the energy to follow through on this thing. So we look for things to blame. And as I say, in the moment it might feel like the best thing to do, and on occasion we may actually be right or valid in that blame. Like, it may actually be because of an external circumstance. The catch we have though is when we pin the blame on something outside of ourselves, we then give up the responsibility. And when it's this other thing causing me to be stuck, that makes me a victim of this thing. Now, the catch-22 is it's very difficult in the state of a victim to move forward powerfully, to make confident decisions, to take ruthless actions that are going to get us the result that we want. So instead, what happens is we stay stuck and we remain in this victim mode, constantly blaming this other thing because it gives us the perfect reason or excuse to continue to stay stuck where we are. Now, we know that if I want different, I need to act different, I need to think different, I need to do different. Like, we know that, but of course, in the, in the moment, it feels challenging. So it's almost like this excuse outside of us at times almost feels like a gift. We don't necessarily perceive it as that in the moment because it's like, oh, I want this thing, but this is in the way. And that's what we tell ourselves. That's the upfront story. But deep down, when we dig down a few layers, we're almost grateful for this thing, which is why we hold on to it. It's part of the reason that we keep it and won't let it go, because it gives us the perfect excuse to stay stuck and not engage in the hard work or having to ruthlessly look at ourselves and be honest about the fact that we haven't been showing up for ourselves. We haven't been doing what's required. We haven't been a man of our word and been following through in the way that we said we would, or the way that we think we should or could. Now, victims unfortunately will never have what they want because there's always something else to blame. But if we can sit back and go, you know what, even if I am a victim of this thing, or even if it's not my fault, ultimately it's still my responsibility. It still falls on me because it's an outcome that I want. So if I want that outcome, I have to do something about it. I can't wait for this other thing to change or alter or to align perfectly for me so that I can now have this thing. Instead, what if I proactively did something about it? What if I took action? What if I looked inside of me and and discovered what was actually needed for me to now start stepping up and doing the right things. What do I need to alter about myself, about my thoughts, my behaviors, my habits, my actions on a daily basis to get these outcomes, to have more money, to have a better body, to have better relationships? What do I need to do about this thing rather than waiting for the world outside of me to alter for me? Now, when we adopt this level of responsibility, Everything shifts. We realize that we are both the problem and the possibility. Now, in being the problem, it can make us feel a bit like, holy shit, there's just too much. Like, if I'm such a fuck-up that I'm the problem, how do I fix this? But we fix it in the same way we allowed it to become a problem in the first place. We realized that it was our action that caused this or our response to this external problem that caused this. So therefore, that means we can change it. If my actions and my behaviors are what caused this reality that I currently experience, then it's my thoughts, my actions, my feelings, my behaviors, and so on that can alter this reality. But I have to take responsibility for that fact first. I can't blame it on something else and assume that at maybe some point this thing outside of me will change, because the truth is, in most cases, it probably won't. And if it does, it will probably actually only get worse. Because what I found in life is there's always this idea that, oh well, once I've done this particular thing, or once I reach this particular point, then I will have the time, or then I will have the money, or then I will have the resources, or the effort, or the energy. There's always this on the other side of something, I'll then be able to. But what I find is for most of us, as we go through life, what actually happens is we get busier, we get more tired, we have more responsibilities outside of ourself and our own responsibility. We just accumulate more and more things that we need to be distracted by, or that we are distracted by, that stop us being able to actually focus on ourselves. Because life outside of us is not slowing down. So it's up to us as individuals, as I mentioned, to take that responsibility and slow ourselves down so that we can alter what we're doing and how we're perceiving everything that's going on outside of us. Because life, society technology, internet, all those things, they aren't slowing down for any of us. Like just in the last year or so, you look at the rapid increase and deployment of things like AI and the access that we now all have to that. Now, of course, everything we've been doing for years is ultimately run by AI, and that is what it is. But now many of us have access to it at a level that's way beyond anything we've ever seen. And even just how much it's accelerated in this past year, feels like, and potentially even is, more than the past 5 years before that, or maybe even the past 10 years prior to that. It's— excuse me— it's moving at such a rapid pace that we cannot control it. And why should we bother trying to? In reality, it doesn't have to have any particular effect on us, and it will only have the effect on us that we allow it to have in our mind. So by taking responsibility for the, the fact that yes, everything around me might be accelerating, moving on and accumulating more information and things for me that, that could distract me and take my attention, it's up to us to slow ourselves down, realize that, okay, well, I've been the problem because I've allowed these things to get the better of me. But now it's time for me to show up as the possibility and actually alter myself so that I can act and show up differently Despite these things that are going on, going on outside of me, despite the fact that others may think, feel, or try to manipulate my behaviors or want me to act differently, none of that matters. It doesn't mean those people aren't necessarily important, they may be, but so are you. Remember, you have to be the number one priority so that you are at the level you need to be, so then these other things outside of you don't affect you in a negative manner. Now, of course, it can take a little bit of time for us to get into that space, but everything that's worth achieving does. Whether it's trying to lose weight, that takes time too. Let's be honest, for all of you out there who, who have gained weight and allowed your body to kind of get the better of you, or your poor health to get the better of you, that didn't happen overnight either. It kind of feels like it maybe did in, in the respect that, oh, you know, things just slipped away, time slipped away, and 'And before I knew it, I'd gained all this weight, and now I just feel stuck and unable to do anything about it.' But the truth is, it didn't happen overnight, and of course, losing it doesn't happen overnight either. But the beauty of it not happening overnight is the fact that we are giving the time and space needed to put in the reps required to become the individual we need to be who can actually keep it once we achieve it. If we were able to put in one day of effort and achieve the weight loss overnight, we wouldn't give a fuck. We'd never do it. We'd never stick with it because, oh well, all I have to do is this one piece of effort and then it's done and dusted. No, that's not how this game works. When you want to be more, when you want to level up and experience life at a higher level, it requires work and it requires a shaping and a molding of you into a new being so that you can maintain that new reality once you get there. So my, my key point essentially is that we have to embrace the fact that we are both the problem and the possibility. What this means is we are the creator of it all, both the good, the bad, and the neutral in our lives. It's all down to us. And regardless of what it is really, it's how we perceive it that actually determines whether it's good or bad or not. Because things are just things, experiences are experiences, and the only thing that makes them significant is the meaning that we attach to them. So my recommendation for you guys is to embrace that fact, embrace the fact that you have the opportunity to alter your reality in any given moment based on the perception that you choose to apply to something, based on the meaning that you choose to give to that experience. You know, just because something seemed bad in the moment, when you get past it and beyond that and get to look back, you might see it from a totally different perspective. And if you don't yet, but you know that continuing to see it in the perspective that you currently do isn't serving you, then you need to reframe that story and find a way that you can look at it find the lesson or the gift that was in that experience that you can then reframe and take moving forward so that it becomes an empowering experience rather than a disempowering one. So that's all I'll leave you guys with tonight. As always, if you got any questions, drop them in the comments below. And if you want to check us out, go to strongerthanlife.com and you'll find out all that we do there. And if not, I look forward to seeing you all in my next video, people. Take it easy and I shall chat to you all soon.