The speaker argues that success requires wanting to win more than fearing loss. Most people react to avoid problems rather than act toward goals, which leads to passive behavior and poor outcomes. Shifting to a proactive, win-focused mindset means taking deliberate steps aligned with what you actually want.
Chapters
Your desire to win must be greater than your desire to not lose. Said another way, you need to want to win more than you want to avoid losing. Now, the reason I say this is because many of us play this game of health from the perspective of, I don't want to make mistakes, or I don't want to try this thing and then fail, or I don't want to try this thing and find out that it didn't work for me and I didn't lose the weight I was trying to lose. Now the catch is, when we play this passive game where we're, we're trying to be reactive to what, what might happen outside of us, we often end up losing automatically. It's like our goal or our desire was ultimately to win, but we approached it with the energy to try and avoid losing, or, or, um, with this energy whereby we kind of hope that the result will come rather than knowing that when we take the action required, the result will automatically be the result. That is what will manifest because I took these specific steps that would get that outcome. Now, of course, I understand that for some, it's a case of, well, I've never really done this before. I've never done it at this level, or it's been so long, I'm not sure if these actions will lead me to the result that I want. So therefore, I'm actually a bit scared and nervous that I'm making the wrong decisions. I'm moving forward in actions that maybe aren't going to get me to the goal. I'll then have wasted my time. I might look stupid for having said I was going to do this, that, and the other in order to lose weight, but then those things didn't lead to the weight loss and so on. So I get that on a certain level there are potentially reasons to be a bit nervous, to maybe even worry about the specific outcomes that may or may not manifest. But the problem is with when you have that energy of not wanting to lose rather than wanting to win, as I say, you enter the game passively and you play it at a reactive level. You wait for things to happen before you'll do anything. So for example, rather than play the game from the standpoint of, I will make sure that I go through life healthy and avoid disease. Instead, what we do is kind of go through life thinking, I hope I never get a disease. So I'll just do enough to kind of keep me okay. And hopefully I won't develop anything. Then when we do, we're like, holy fuck, I need to do something. Shit, I've just been diagnosed with diabetes, or I've just been diagnosed with high blood pressure. Now, in an ideal world, what we would do is go, oh shit, that means I need to work on my lifestyle and I need to maybe start eating a bit better. I need to maybe exercise, start looking at my recovery and things like that. Maybe my hydration is not good. But unfortunately, many of us don't do that. And instead what we do is go, doctor, doctor, how can you help me? What pills can I take? And sometimes it's not because we really want the pills, and it's not necessarily because we really want to avoid living a healthy lifestyle. It's just that we perceive this individual as a person of authority because that's how we've been brought up and educated and indoctrinated and so on. So we see them as an authority and they say, well, the best thing to do, your blood pressure is high, you better take this pill. So we think that's the right thing to do. Then, of course, we have the experience of many of those around us, our parents quite possibly, or other friends or other family members and so on, are already suffering with these problems as well. They're on medications. They seem to be doing okay. So what harm can it do? But the catch is, if we were actually playing this game of life with the intention to win— and I, of course, when I'm talking about winning, I don't just mean health. I mean in your business or profession, I mean in your relationships, I mean in your certainty and purpose if you have one, or your, your life goals and so on. Ideally, we want to win across the board, but we have to play with at least a certain level of assertiveness about it. It's like you need to choose your actions rather than wait for your actions to be forced upon you by external circumstance. So instead of waiting for a crisis of some sort, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, and all the rest of it, Rather than waiting for a problem like that, or for obesity and your partner getting to the point where they're like, you need to fucking sort yourself out because unfortunately I don't want to live with you like this anymore. I don't find you attractive and certainly don't want you laying all over me and smothering me every night and so on. So sometimes, unfortunately, as I say, we play passively and we wait for external circumstance to force us into action. When we're forced into it, we care less about making a mistake or maybe not making the exact right choice and so on. So why don't we just do that anyway? Why don't we just go, you know what, this isn't how I want to be anymore. This isn't the body I want. This isn't the life that I necessarily want. Why don't I actually start being a bit more proactive about creating the outcomes that I want? Of course, they might not be perfect straight away, and in fact, they may never be perfect ever. But at least if I'm making some sort of progress and I'm actually actively taking part in my life and the outcomes that I want, I'm far more likely to steer my trajectory in the direction I want to go rather than just hoping that this journey of life drifts me to where I think I would like to be. So ultimately, I guess my question for you guys is, where in your life right now do you know that you're playing to avoid losing rather than playing with the intention to win? Now, I know the nuance in there is quite subtle. It's like, well, the outcome's the same, you know. If I play and I don't lose, then I still technically won. And you have, but it's not the same. And there's far less likelihood of you winning because you're playing from a level of hope, not from a level of knowing. Whereas if you step in and go, I am doing this, these are the 3, 2, 1 however many actions it is you're choosing to take, these are the actions I'm going to take in order to create this particular outcome. When you play from that energy, it's far more likely to manifest as a reality because you've decided this is what I'm having. And when we decide this is the outcome I want to experience, we're far more likely to create it because we will act in alignment with it. Whereas if we're like, oh, you know, I hope one day that I'm fitter, I hope one day I'm Lena. I hope one day I have some money or that I win the lottery. When we play this game of hope, there is no guarantee. Now, of course, you can argue, well, there's no guarantee even if I try and do it myself. Of course, but you're far more likely. And I'd rather play a game knowing that I actually tried and potentially failed, but I know I would prefer to play it knowing that I tried rather than get to the end of this game and be like, 'Yeah, maybe I did just settle for this shit. Maybe I did settle for far less than I was actually capable of, and perhaps I could have had a far greater experience in this journey than the one I allowed myself to have because I sat back and waited for it to happen to me rather than me happening to it and creating it for myself.' So that's what I'll leave you guys with. Where in your life right now would you say that you are playing to avoid losing rather than to guarantee a win. That's what I'll leave you with, guys. If you have any questions, as always, drop them in the comments below. And if not, I look forward to seeing you guys in my next video. Take it easy, people.
