Your Brain Isn't Broken — The System Is

The system that we have inherited, that system was never built for us. And we were made to believe that there's something wrong with us.

Yeah, we are actually the one that's been holding ourselves back the entire time.

This is someone who grew up believing that they were always behind.

I thought that I would be behind the rest of my life, be that below average.

Struggling to read, struggling to speak, and struggling to belong. Until one moment changed it all.

Dyslexia hasn't been an obstacle in my life. It's actually been a superpower.

And maybe that's true for you too. Maybe this is the moment when everything changes. for you. It's not your past, it's not your circumstances, but it's the story that you've been telling yourself.

There are more advantages than we used to think.

So what if your biggest struggle is your biggest advantage and you're just one step away from seeing it? Let's begin. Hey, Willy, how are you today?

Doing great. I'm excited for today.

Absolutely. Same here. We put ourselves into the deep end of the pool as soon as we start the podcast. And the first question we start with is that, If that 8-year-old Willy, wherever that 8-year-old kid growing up was, if that Willy comes and meets you right now, what kind of a conversation would emerge between the two of you?

It would be about telling him that it's okay to be a kid even when you're an adult.

Ooh, ooh, tell me more. It's okay to be a kid even when you're an adult.

I think there seems to be a lot of confusion between Childish and then being a kid, because each of us need to have fun. Each of us need to enjoy life with the things that bring us joy, the things that are just, that we love to do, that we love to do as a kid. It could be drawing. It could be running outside and playing sports. It could be hanging out with friends and biking, like whatever it was. We should always have fun. But somewhere along that path, we get into our mind of Fun equals childish. And we don't like to be childish because childish, we think of temper tantrums. We think of only listening to themselves and only doing what they want. And that's what childish is. But it's not about being childish. It's about having fun. So the conversation I would have with my 8-year-old self would be, as you grow up, continue to have fun, continue to enjoy what's happening in life. And as more responsibility comes, Realize that people are gonna say, stop being childish, stop being a kid, stop being that, that child. But you can come back and say, I can still be it and be responsible. I can be the adult that has fun. And in this life that we live in today, that's a, that's a conversation that kids need as much as adults need.

There are rare occasions where my mind goes blank. This is one of those moments because It was just so powerful. It's what happens? Like, where do you think we, while growing up, lose that spark where we start to feel that the responsibilities weigh us down, that what's on our shoulders, on our to-do list, on our inboxes becomes more important than having fun?

It can be many places in your life that it happens. But I think it's just as you get older, from you have to get good grades to after school, you got to do homework before you can play games or hang out with friends. It's the during the weekends, you need to do chores before you can have fun. It seems that I think parenting could be a side of it. The way that people parent is that the stuff that they are worried about the most needs to get done so that they themselves can be stress-free in order for their kids to have fun. And so that reflection on themselves gets put onto the kid. But even more so, we have moments that could be traumatic. We can categorize it as traumatic moments or just challenges and obstacles, life events that happen that shape us in a different way and make us see the world that we live in in a way that's not all peaches and daisies, that actually there's some hard stuff going on. Just like, I remember About 8 years ago, I got, I was in college. I was going to my business class and I got this text message from my mom saying that one of my cousins took his life. And that was a real moment because I wasn't super close to the cousin, but I felt the pain. And just a week after that, I saw on a Facebook post that one of my childhood friends added himself to that list as well. And just in a week's frame, It took me from the, I just hear about it. I just hear the statistics that other people say to actually living the experience. And when you have lived through an experience, there is a maturity that comes with it. And that maturity is hard a lot of the time.

Hmm.

And when we become, and as we grow up and continue to get exposure to those life experiences, I think that's where it comes from. To where, as we get that exposure and get truly like mileage in our life, I'm the thing of, it doesn't matter your age. It matters the mileage that you are, you have in your life, because I know some 10-year-olds who are just freaking wise individuals. I also know some 60-year-olds who are still kids in childish ways. And so it's the mileage. And I think the more mileage you get, the more just like you get exposed to what happens in the world. And then if you want to add it back in, the fun that you had as a kid, that blissful ignorance, well, you add it in a different way, which is spending time with things that you like, to which then you experience joy and passion and happiness while still having your life experience.

There's so much to unpack there. And thank you for sharing about your cousin and then your friend. First of all, I To anyone who's listening, who's ever lost someone close to them, where they ended up taking their own life, it pains me for who's left and who has to now experience them not being present in their life. But it also pains me as a society, really, that what have we done to humanity where someone has to think of going to that distance? Because Like, I sometimes wonder when I used to get like blood tests, right? Someone putting in a needle into my body is painful and I resist that. And even though I was a doctor sometime like decades ago, but it's just a painful experience. And to then think that someone can hurt their own selves so much, I don't know what we did wrong as a society. So that's completely, I don't know, maybe what are your views on it before I jump to anything else?

Yeah, it's one of my good friends, his name's Elton Ware. Him and I do a lot of stuff together and he helps a lot of people with suicide, taking their life and things as such. And so one of the conversations I actually had with him today, this morning, was there's usually 2 trains of thoughts that people who start to go down that route take, which the first one is, there's nothing left that I can do. And the second one is, and if there was, it wouldn't matter. So I think when we get into those, when we get into those mindsets, I don't want to be somber about this, but I think the The reality of it is that I think a lot of times there are episodes in our life where even we feel that. I think every single person feels that way. And that is why it's so crucial to have friends, connections, that we know our neighbors, that we're able to speak and say hi to strangers just on the street. Because there's a reason why we're not in this world alone.

Yeah.

There's a reason why the population of the world isn't one. It's because there are so many people around us that because we were put on this planet, we need other people.

Yeah.

Around us.

Yeah.

I think as a society, we've started to get away from personal connection that's led us to those numbers increasing.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think we've also in a way lost touch with our own selves really where we're— and no blaming here to social media or to technology, but it's got us so engrossed with all the amazing scientists who are working and data scientists who are working to keep us engaged with those platforms. that it's leading us to not engage with the human next to us. I see this on dinner tables so many times in restaurants where everyone has a phone in their hand while there's an amazing meal right in front of them. And I feel like, where is that sense of connection, that sense of belonging if we are only belonging in the likes and the shares and the comments and so on and so forth? But I want to come back to this idea. So you were saying it's not about the age, it's about the mileage of that person and how that— What have you observed Maybe in people you've met or in your own experiences. What does one need to do to increase that mileage if you're not born with it?

Start doing stuff. I know that's like such a simple answer. Start doing stuff. Start trying things out. It's one of the reasons I think that the traditional education, I think there's some things that are off with it that they need to start adding courses and classes to actually teach people about life. But I think one thing they have going well really for them is The generals courses, because you get into college and yes, it costs a lot of money to do college, but they have you dip your toe in a bunch of different industries from psychology to economics, to finance and business, to sciences and history and calculus and math. Like it has you get experience in all different sides so that as you are in those classes, that maybe you find some things that you're like, This is something that I want to keep doing. Yeah, I'm going to do more of that. And in other classes, I'm sure we've all had that experience of, yeah, I'm not a huge fan of this. I think I'm gonna not spend my time in this. And that mileage comes from that. It's getting out and trying in the, in the phrase, trying new things. It's going and dipping your toes in, finding what you like, finding what you dislike. And the only way to figure that out is just by trying a bunch of stuff.

Yeah. Such an easy thing. What stops people from trying? Because it seems so easy, right? Just go and try different things. What stops people from doing that?

The expectation that they need their life figured out.

That's such— that's— it is a statement that we can spend like 20 minutes on. Yeah, for sure. Those expectations that, A, you need to figure out life, which I've turned 40 this year. I've coached people who are in that range group or above. But what's the need to figure it out? Where does that need come from, Billy?

I think it's the— it comes from a lot of different things. I think it's the need in society to be able to have something for sure happen. So another word could be the security in society. In order to be secure, you need to have 100% everything known. So at an early age, it's just like, what do you want to be when you grow up? Well, I want to be an astronaut. Well, cool. You can be an astronaut, but then some reason once you hit middle or high school, they're just like, be more realistic.

Yeah.

And then as you continue to go on, they ask, where are you working? Oh, is that, is that a job you want to do the rest of your life? Don't you want to go after more? Or in relationships, we date to marry. That's what we're doing. We're not going out and just enjoying the wonderful presence that we have with people who we find attractive. We don't go out on icebreaker dates just to see if something might spark. It's like, I will only date people who fit this list of standards and this list of they are a singer, cheerleader, dancer, and all these things that really don't matter in the long run. And they have to fit this list. And if they don't, I don't even want to talk to them. It's like, why? We just don't know. And especially like, as, as you're starting out dating, you just, you don't know what you like.

Yeah.

I didn't find my wife based off of things that I liked or things that I knew. I found her from just going out and living life. And then when she came in, we started to connect. We did. There are a few things that we've had common ground with. And as we talked, we're like, we kind of like each other. And then that turned into us dating and then courting each other, becoming fiancés, and then getting married. And now 3, 4 kids later in a couple of weeks, we're here and happy. But it all started from just dating, connecting with people. So I don't, I don't really know. There's so much that goes into it of what truly is the reason why people try to get things so fast and have their life figured out. But if I were to like summarize it, security and comparison would be the 2 things.

Yeah. And, and, and you so beautifully put this because when you seek security, at the end of the day, I feel really like, why am I calling you Billy again? Again, my friend, I'm just—

Billy Blake.

Billy and Blake. I'm fusing Billy and Blake again, again. And then my brain corrects me. And it's not that I've met some Billy or Billy's like a best mate to me, but I'll go back to Willy. I think that sense of security, like what is really secure? I mean, I don't know how to answer that question. And I think that the nudge that I have for listeners, as you and I are exploring and dissecting this, is that what does security look like? I mean, this is something that we all can define for ourselves, but also then comparison is ultimately the thief of joy. We have heard this a million times and clichés are a cliché because they are accurate. Yeah. So I think That's beautifully put. Security and comparison is what puts us on this path.

Yeah, and here's the thing with, like, even though they're cliché statements, there's one cliché statement that I was talking with a client with, and I'm like, and he was asking me about, what do I do with my career? Like, what, I have so many things I want to do, what do I do? And I said, you do you. But then right after that, I prefaced it saying, I'm not gonna leave you with that because anytime someone says that statement, I get get ticked off at them because that's the most general thing. So let me tell you what it means. And I told them that it's you, and the emphasis goes on do you.

Yeah.

You do you, which means that you need to be doing things that is of yourself, which means that you got to try a bunch of different things to figure out what that is. And that's a life's journey. You're not going to figure out 100% of who you are, but like, as you try things, you'll find things you enjoy more and you spend more time with that. Things you don't, you spend less time. And so clichés are cliché, but when you actually like get them into what it could actually mean, they're pretty powerful.

Absolutely. And it brings us back to that kid-like curiosity. Why is the sky blue? Why does the sun shine so bright? And if we can ask those questions in that age group till our parents or society or teachers stop us, like, what's wrong? Why are you asking again? Again, the sky is blue. And I think if we live with that open curiosity, with that childlike nature, not being childish, but being that kid who's open to exploring and seeing where that joy lies. But I want to go back to your journey because I now know that you coach people with dyslexia and you help them build this into a superpower. How is it growing up with dyslexia in a time where I'm assuming, and correct me if I'm wrong, people did not understand it really well then, and maybe still not everyone understands it. So how was that journey for you? Yeah.

Yeah. In a time where not people, at least compared to today, not many people knew what dyslexia was. Most people thought, and actually still think today, that it's just reading something backwards, which back then, that's kind of all there really was to know about it. It's just like you have difficulty reading. Dyslexic. You have a hard time speaking, potential dyslexic. Have a hard, like, trying to read out loud and like anything with spelling, writing, dyslexic. Like if there's difficulty in that, we just mark it off and they could go to a special class to help 'em out or whatever things they had. So growing up with it, it was hard to try to be, it was hard trying to fit in, to actually feel like what I was contributing in class.

Mm-hmm.

that it was worth something or that it was the correct answer. Because as I grew up with it, I became a lot more shy. I was not the person I am today when I was a kid.

Oh, yeah.

I was so shy. I would know the answer to a question. I would wait 20 seconds. Finally, another kid would raise his hand, give the exact same answer, and then I'd beat myself up for not sharing it in the first place. And as I grew up, it was, it was the consistency of feeling I always had to play catch up, but never being able to reach this icon of what other people said was smart and what I categorized as average. Mm-hmm. 'Cause I was just, I was just trying to reach average with everybody else. I, I hated be taking extra time on tests. I didn't like people knowing that I got special privileges just because of something I was born with. They treated me different. So growing up with it, I just didn't know. I just didn't know any better. And I thought that I would be behind the rest of my life, be that below average. And all my friends who were in the honors classes, who were able to complete everything on time, I thought they'd be the doctors, the lawyers, the accountants. And I would be the one throwing produce at Walmart, just trying to get by with, maybe I'd get a wife. Maybe I'd have friends to hang out with, but in all, living with this challenge that is going to be with me the rest of my life. Because just like today, I knew back then this was something that I was going to have my entire life.

You know, there's an external battle here where the world does not allow you to fit in. The world is not treating you equally and the world is not making you feel valued and seen. But I think there's a bigger battle really that goes inside. What helped you overcome that battle? When did that inner battle start to make sense? What did you do to win over that inner battle?

Yeah, it would be me spending a lot of time on things that I like to do. I absolutely loved playing soccer, played soccer for 14 years. I was the forward and the striker. And when I was on the field, I was a different kid. When I was on the field, people looked at me and were impressed being able to kick that soccer ball, the powerhouse kicker that I was. They called me Gibby on the field. If you've ever seen iCarly, the show, you'll get it. That's who I was as a kid. And so I love playing soccer. I love playing games. Anything strategic was just my battlefield. I love doing it. And it seemed like as I grew up, I noticed that when I focused on the things I was good at, And I did those things, my confidence would increase. And because of that, my dyslexia affected me less. And so you could see as I grew up that I started to spend more time, and it seems like that's the commonality with this, spend more time on the things that I liked to do.

Yeah.

That I just really enjoyed, that really boosted my confidence. Because when that happened, My dyslexia, which affected me the most with reading and speaking, decreased. It was still there, but my ability to be affected by it decreased. I also found in times where I would just, where I tried to read a textbook, it would take me forever to read through a page. My confidence would go down and my dyslexia affected me. It skyrocketed through the roof to where I couldn't focus or do anything.

Hmm.

And so that confidence built into something that I'm like, okay, as I do things I'm good at, dyslexia decreases. And I think that's where like the transformation came of, which is what I'm doing affects how it affects, how my dyslexia affects me. So what is dyslexia? And so I went more into it, not just the reading, writing, and speaking part. But it's how we process information. I'm like, okay, it's not just about reading. It's about how I bring in information, how I internalize it in my head, and then communicate it outwards. It's the whole process system. So if it's the process system, that means anything that has to do with that is affected, which means that this short list of bad things goes along with this big list of good things where we are excellent problem solvers, great with patterns and perspective. Being able to be empathetic because we've had to deal with so much and sympathize for people. And like this list of advantages kept growing and growing. And I'm like, dyslexia hasn't been an obstacle in my life. It's actually been a superpower, but I was the obstacle because I didn't take the time to actually see it as it truly was. And so for those who are listening, I would actually challenge you that whatever it is that you are struggling with, or if we eliminate the word struggle, anything that is hard in your life, I want you to take a step back and take an oversight view of it. And I'll tell you this, I have found this 100% of each time that there are more advantages than we used to think when it comes to the challenges that we face. And those can be mental things that we'll have the rest of our life, like dyslexia, ADHD, or autism, or it could be things that are just day-to-day, which is sadness, anger, tired, hungry, Everything, whatever the challenge is, if you take a step back, there's a good side to it too, which then if there's a good and a bad, it's do I focus on the good or do I focus on the bad? And as Henry Ford was attributed to saying, whether you believe you can or you can't, you're right.

Yeah. And I'm no neuroscientist, but what I was thinking while you were sharing all of that is like, it's almost like when you're finding joy in doing something and you're in a state of flow, Then that state of flow allows you to overcome the barriers. In your case, that barrier was dyslexia. But as soon as you found joy in playing football or joy in now coaching people or joy in all that you do, then that dyslexia also goes down. And I love that, that anyone who's— I think what I'm also gaining, and which I think listeners would also appreciate, Billy, is that It's almost like you gotta step back and say, what do I have in control? Because what you said was that dyslexia is not the obstacle. I am the obstacle. And as soon as you say that, you're powerful. You're powerful.

Yeah. Like if we realize that the only limitation that we have is ourselves and that we're the one that's holding back our imagination, our ability to act, and our ability to control the future, If we can take a step back, notice that, understand it, we get back the power. We get back the ability to choose, which we try, which subconsciously we give to other people through various ways. But if we start with that first step of understanding that we're actually the one that's been holding ourselves back the entire time, not in a guilt way, But just in an understanding way, then that is the first step of gaining back the power that we get to control the future that we create.

Yeah. Love that. When we look at dyslexia, then society keeps telling that as a dyslexic, what does one lack? How do you, how do you rewrite that story? And how do you rewrite that story to say that it's not about what I lack, But it's about what I have.

Yeah. It's about understanding what actually is going on because dyslexia, it affects how you process information, which affects your reading, writing, and speaking. But like I said, like patterns, out of the box thinking, problem solving, being more sympathetic. Like there are so many advantages that come from it too, that the average person who doesn't have it Don't have. And so it's really understanding without judging either side what it actually is. And as a society, people focus on the negative side of it because in school, that is what's most effective because school is prominent in making sure you get information and trying to memorize things, which is 2 of the hardest things for a dyslexic.

Yeah.

But in life, by golly, dyslexic thinking of being creative and problem solving, like those are skills that are needed when it comes to jobs and high-level positions. And so something that was a hindrance in school is actually an advantage in life. And you only get that as you understand it and live life. Like you just got, you just got to know about it and you know about it by doing some research.

Yeah. And it's strange, right, that school has this core definition of intelligence, this core definition of what does success look like. And then we as human beings in that age start to kind of take on that definition, and that then stays with us forever. And I see so many people in accomplished positions but still thinking like, have I done enough? Am I really smart? And all of this keeps coming back to them. And what I was also connecting this back to, William, as we were speaking, it's almost like society wants us to think out of the box and reward that, but then it also asks us to stay in the box because that's the norm. How have you seen that paradox play out in your life or in others?

I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen it a lot in society. And here's the thing, not to bash any certain type of government or political side or whatever, but as a whole, people who are in power, on a psychological standpoint, it is easier to control and manipulate people when they are living in fear than when they are living in abundance. So when people are living in abundance, they have, they are calm, collected. They take in information. They actually think for themselves. And from that can make logical decisions about what's best for their life. But if you are living in fear and living in scarcity, well, then it's just whatever emotion gets thrown to the whim of whatever decision gets to be made. So if there's always a sickness, always a catastrophe, always a flood or tornado or fire or something that's going on in the world, and that's what you focus on, well, then that's distracting you from actually making a logical decision for your life. And unfortunately, that's kind of how the world is with the higher political leaders, is that it's easier to control people when they're in the fear rather than when they're in abundance. Because when they're in the fear, they do things based off of emotions. As of when they are at peace, they do things that are best for themselves and those around them.

Yeah, the fear starts to limit us. Abundance makes us expansive. And I think the governments or the authorities of the world, fear that expansive nature of a human being. What's a mental model really? What's something that you live by that you've seen work time and again to help someone in that state of fear move into that state of abundance?

Now, one thing I would say is if you want to change your mental state, change your physical state. I think this was back 3 or 4 years ago where I found this out because I think it was one of Newton's laws of inertia.

Mm-hmm.

Which is something that is in motion tends to stay in motion. So I was sitting on the couch and the room was dirty, had to clean it, did not want to do it, didn't want to get up, just wanted to sit there and keep scrolling on my phone. So I told myself, okay, 1 minute. And I call this my 1-minute, 1-thing principle. Pick 1 thing to do for 1 minute. No expectation of after that 1 minute to pick anything else up or to do anything else. Just 1 minute, pick 1 thing. So I said, okay, I can pick up all the trash in the room. So I set a timer for 1 minute, went around the room, picked up all the trash, threw it in the trash can. Well, now that I got up and started moving, I'm like looking around in my mind saying, okay, it's not that hard to pick up the clothes in the room. So I set another minute and started picking up the clothes in the room. And then now 95% of the stuff was gone. I'm like, okay, I can spend a few minutes because I'm feeling better now. To pick up the rest of the stuff. And I picked up the rest of the stuff and bada bing, bada boom, the room was clean. And I'm like, okay, now I can go to the kitchen and start doing dishes. And it was so interesting as I looked back on this, that the moment of which I started to move my body was the moment that my mind was okay with starting to do things, which is why it's, if you're just like mentally stuck in a certain place, look how your body is. Because a lot of people who are not thinking, like thinking in negative ways or just not doing anything, what are they doing? Their head's down, arms are crossed, they're crunched over, shoulders up. They're in like a kind of little ball cocoon, maybe scrolling on their phone, but like they're in a defensive mechanism. When you get out of that, well then your mind jumps up and says, oh, okay, Willie, Willie's awake. We gotta, we gotta start moving because he moves, so we move. And so if you're in that state, if you want to get— change your mental state, change your physical state. Jump up instantly. If you're in it, just jump up quick. That's it. No other expectation. Jump up and you will be so surprised about how much better that you feel from a half second of just standing up as quick as you can, simply from moving. There's just such— I want to go more into like the psychologicalness of it. I'm still doing research on that. But if you want to change your mental state, change your physical state.

Yeah. And I can relate to it in so many ways. And this is maybe my 55th podcast or something like that. In so many ways, what you just said, like 1 minute and 1 thing, it's not that you have to climb Mount Everest. Just think of the smallest step you can take and just give yourself that 1 minute because then all the resistance in the mind is gone. The mind's not thinking it's going to take 30 minutes to clean this room. I better not do it. It's just saying, Utkarsh, you got 1 minute, do what you can do. And that's an amazing rule. And the physical state, one of my mentors, he was once— we were talking about this and he said, it's like when you go to the gym, the first thing that you want to be mindful of is kind of your posture, right? When you're lifting weights or when you're exercising, keep your eyes open, look straight, don't look down, don't let your shoulders go down, keep your spine erect. I relate that a lot to life, that in our physical state, if you're able to take on that state more often and go head on, and by head on, I don't mean like start violently crashing into things, but just take things head on, take life head on. I think that's such an easy way to at least help you move forward and then see whatever progress might look like.

Yeah, it goes in just little small steps. That's what it is.

I love to still play the devil's advocate in all of this, really. And I'm stepping into the shoes of, say, a listener who's listening to this, and they spend like 35 minutes listening to both of us talk, and they're still unsure. They're like, why the hell am I listening? Let me move to something else. They know what is the right thing to do. They understand that if I take that action, it's going to help me move forward. But between that clarity and that action, there's this emotional baggage, right, which stops them. And I'm seeing One Minute One Thing to also support them here. Anything else that you feel has helped you or you've learned over the years that helps bridge that emotional gap between clarity and taking action?

2 things came to my mind. First one was for the listener who has been listening to our voices and what we've been saying, but still is like, Well, what the heck next do I do? I know what I need to do. Why am I still sitting here? Well, let me say this. If you haven't done what we've talked about and the tips that we've shared, try them out. Because from what I've experienced in my life, and when I hear information and ask that same thing, the stuff I'm doing doesn't work. The stuff that you're doing as a listener, if you're not, if you don't have the results that you have, There is something that you are doing that isn't working or something that you're not doing that you should be doing to make it start working. So if you are in that spot, try some new things out, try this 1 minute, 1 thing, try just moving, jumping up, just try some things because honestly, life's too short to be able to Be like, I don't need to try that because I'm too good. My ego's too great. I got a chip on my shoulder. Life's too short to have that. I carried that for years and it got me nowhere. And the places that it actually did get me to weren't worthwhile and aren't in my life anymore. But the ones that have stayed are the ones where I am just purely curious and just say, okay, I'll try it. I'll see what works. And 9 times out of 10, when I try something new, I'm just like, I am actually 10 out of 10 times, I'm like, I'm grateful for it, whether it stays or not. Well, then you asked, what are some other things? And one other thing that came to my mind, which would be the 2 to that, that thing is the grateful 3. So this is something that I learned years back. And the grateful 3 is anytime that you have a thought that is negative or one that says, I can't do this, I can't do that, something that's overwhelming. Think of 3 things you're grateful for.

That's it.

3 things you're grateful for. Well, I'm grateful for my wife and I'm grateful for my kids. I'm grateful for this house I live in, someone might say, but what I'm not grateful for is how the political world— and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there. Say 3 more things you're grateful for. Well, I'm grateful for water. I'm grateful for food. And I'm grateful that I'm able to have clothes to wear. And so what we're doing is that we are retraining the mind. Because if you want to change your attitude, change your gratitude. We're adding gratitude in there. And some people who have just been in their mindset, and people can call it negative, some people call it comfort zone, whatever it is for you, we are just starting to drip more in there than the bad side. So we're trying to drip gratitude more.

Mm-hmm.

Every time you say 1, we're dripping in 3 so that Little by little and over time, turn, we make our mind, not make our mind, we train our mind to be able to say, I am grateful. And when we are grateful, that's where this joy, the peace, that's where we start moving. That's where all these things that we talked about today, that's where it starts coming in. And one other rule with that is when, with the grateful 3, you can't repeat something you said.

Hmm.

You said 3 things. You can't repeat any of those 3 things again. And I'll tell you this, I've been doing this for 6 years. I have yet to find something to repeat. Of course, there's grateful things that I'll say in addition to that, but I always find new things because there is infinite things we can be grateful for. So try it out.

I agree. I call that the state of bliss when you're able to do that for, for what you were saying. Yeah. Just for a very long time. And there's so much, there's so much. The air, the coffee that I get to drink, all of it. And so I think it's a great challenge for our listeners to take on. Just when that first negative thought comes in, find 3 things you can be grateful for. I love that. What I'm also keen to learn from you, Billy, is that what are some states or when do you feel like you're most alive, most like in your wiring, in your space? When does that happen for you?

Yeah. When I'm doing things like this, like when I can actually share things like podcast episodes, when I'm out on stage just speaking to people or in the audience talking with them, when I'm on coaching calls, just, just fills me with so much joy to be able to see the light in people's eyes of when they realize that there is more out there than they are currently at. That there's just so like, it is just so amazing. Like there's so much love and there's so much hope. Like this inspiration to see people and be able to hear from others as we serve and as we live, like the ability to be grateful. And that really, when it comes down to it, all we have is time. I just love people seeing that. And I think someone said it really well. I can't remember their name, but they said it as, we live 2 lives and our second one starts when we realize that we only have one. And I love to see the spot in where people Start to live their second life.

And for those of who you feel that that's just bullshit written on papers, it's really— and I can assure you that if one gets into that state, and we all can work towards finding that state, and maybe it'll take 5 years for some, 2 months for some, and 15 for some others. But once you get to that level, really, that you just described, yeah, I think it's worth striving for to find that one day in your life Life after which will feel like, what the hell was, was happening here?

Yeah. And if I, if I could share one thing before we move on, is for you as the listener who thinks this is just BS, screw this, what the heck is going on? This is just fluff in the air. Let me tell you this. Maybe it is. Maybe all of this isn't right. Maybe all this isn't real. Maybe all this is just fake information, right? Maybe you're right. And, and what's that serving? What's that serving you? If you look at the life you have, are you enjoying it? Do you feel so just embraced with the love of this world? Do you, do you like being angry all the time? Do you like being sad? Do you like being in a state of which you're just sitting there wishing that you weren't here, wishing that you had more friends or that you went after and talked to that girl at the coffee shop? Are you living on wishes? You're such an important person. And you are so important that people like us and that people are in the world who have experienced it. And we love it so much. We love being in a state of flow. We love being in a state of bliss. And these are just, these are just words that we use, but we love being happy. We love feeling that even though love, there's going to be an end to it because everybody dies, that we love being able to be there with that individual. For however long that we get with them, because it's about the time that we spend with them. So if you're sitting on that couch listening to this, I just want to tell you, you got life. You have life. And you are so amazing that I want to see you do whatever it is that you wish you can. And you just do that by Starting small. Don't worry about the work. Don't worry about the family coming in for the holidays. Don't worry about any of that. Just focus on you right now and what you can do with your next step.

Yeah. Love that. I love that. Yeah.

I had to share that. That was straight from my heart. I felt it. Hopefully someone who was listening, that really hit you because that affected me. That's something I wish I would have heard early in my years, and I just I pray right now from my heart to you that that affected you and that you can start going.

Thank you. Thank you for that. I think, yeah, I could feel that love coming through when you were sharing that, Willy. As we come to wrapping up this beautiful episode, Willy, let's go to that 80-year-old Willy, the one few decades from now, your 4 daughters all grown up, maybe there's more on the way. If that 80-year-old Willy comes to you right now and in this moment gives you one piece of advice on how to live the rest of your years, what would that 80-year-old Willy tell you to do?

That 80-year-old Willy would tell me to smile every single day because we live in a beautiful world.

For those who are still with us at 47 minutes, let's listen to the 80-year-old Willy's advice because it's important. Smile every day because we live in a beautiful world. Whatever you're doing, when you have a negative thought, Go back and ask yourself, what are 3 things that I can be grateful for? And keep repeating it, and you'll see your mindset shifting. If there's something that's stopping you from moving and changing something around you, follow the 1-minute, 1-thing rule. Put a timer, 1 minute, do that 1 thing, and the brain will lose the resistance, and you'll get to the ability to choose. A big shift happens in life when you start to not look at the obstacle on the outside, but saying that I am the obstacle. And then you work towards overcoming it. You do you because it's worth it. Security and comparison are 2 things that pull us down. Ask yourself, what does it really mean to be secure? And why am I comparing myself to something else or someone else? Whatever age you're at, I don't know, maybe you're 18 and still listening to us, which would be amazing. Or maybe you're 64 or 53 or 32. Keep asking yourself, how do I build my mileage? Because that's what's important. And remember, having fun in life as a child, as an adult, is super important. It does not mean you're childish. Go out. Don't take yourself too seriously. Have fun and make this life worth living for. Thank you, Willy, for that wonderful conversation. Yeah. Any, any final words?

Go out and smile.

Go out and smile.

Beautiful world.

It's a beautiful world. This is Utkarsh and Willy signing off.