Utkarsh NarangFounder, IgnitedNeurons · Your best doers become your worst managers as you scale. I turn them into leaders so your best people don’t leave.

You're Not Broken For Loving People Who Harm You #cptsd #trauma

19 Feb 2026 · 1 min

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1:02

In this therapeutic monologue, the speaker explains why individuals who experienced childhood abuse often find themselves in abusive adult relationships. They describe the unconscious pull toward familiar patterns of harm, likening it to moths drawn to a flame, and emphasize that this is not a conscious choice. The core message is that healing personal wounds is essential to regain agency over whom we are attracted to and how we respond. The speaker urges listeners to find their voice, stand up against mistreatment in any setting—family, work, or school—seek out safe, supportive people, and break the cycle of self‑blame that convinces them they deserve the abuse.

Chapters

We hear this story a lot, someone who was really abused as a child and they end up with an abusive partner and you think, well, wouldn't you go away from that because you already know it hurts? But that's not how our psyches work. Unconsciously, we keep being attracted as moths to a flame, trying to get love and safety and belonging from the people who are like the people who hurt us in the first place. So the first step is to really go back and heal some of our own wounds so that we begin to feel a choice. In not only who we're attracted to and what we engage in, but a choice over our own responses. So if someone in your family or your workplace or your school, wherever, doesn't treat you well, can you find your voice and stand up for yourself? Can you look for safe people? Can you get out of the web, perhaps, which many people fall into, of self-blame? Well, if I get treated this way, there must be something wrong with me and I must have deserved it.