Utkarsh Amitabh distinguishes regret from shame: regret is about what you did, shame is about who you are. Regret can drive growth if you focus on present actions and small daily efforts instead of comparing yourself to others or dwelling on past CV mistakes.
Chapters
Hi everyone, I'm Utkarsh. Today to talk to you about a slightly sensitive topic, the difference between shame and regret and how can we overcome CV related regret that many of us might be suffering with. Simply put, regret is I did something bad, shame is I am something bad. Please keep this difference in mind because when we look at regret and shame, we often confuse these two terms. And while regret can be constructive, shame is almost always going to lead you into a downward spiral. Constructive regret can actually lead to progress. We've often discussed how reflecting on some of the most painful aspects of our being can help us rise and become more enhanced or augmented in the future. Shame, on the other hand, can make you believe that you are intrinsically a bad person. You are beyond repair and no matter what you do, you will always be this person. I think constructive regret is a lot more growth, mindset oriented while shame is resigning to one's fate and accepting that this particular tragic flaw is here for us forever. So my request to all of you is that when you look at shame, when you look at regret, please put time into the proper perspective. Please consider understanding the regret that you might have saved professionally on your cv. Is it a regret which is the case because you did not fulfill a goal that you wanted? Or are you suffering because you, just like some of your friends and colleagues wanted? Peer pressure accelerates our feeling of regret. And once we go down that path, shame is not far away. So the first step is to consider that when we look at time, it also helps to look at time over the long run. As we see, on average, many of us are expected to live longer lives. Angus, Linda Grattan and many others have studied how 100 year life is going to be constant or, you know, average phenomena for us, in that case, our work lives will be for 70, 75, perhaps 80 years. So any professional mishap that you have, perhaps you get into a school, didn't get into a coveted job, whatever that might be. If you just maintain your energy and keep trying, we are different routes, trying different things, you might actually achieve a lot more than you think. Most of the time our regret comes from losing energy or steam, not losing out on one particular missed opportunity at work or so forth. So keep the longer time horizon in mind. Give yourself the kindness that you deserve, to look at the future of your life with a broader lens as opposed to punishing yourself every single time. And lastly, when it comes to CV regret, try and focus on what you can do about your current situation as opposed to wallowing in the misery of others or misery of what you could not accomplish at any given instant. You have two options. You can resign to the fate and say that you know this is me. I'm ashamed of not being able to make a difference in the world, make a difference in my company, make a difference in the family. Or you know, you can just talk to yourself in a way that yes, so far perhaps I've not been able to do so much. Perhaps a lot of my experiments and adventures have fallen flat. But I'm still going to try one more time. You just have to try a little bit every day to overcome your or transform your regret into the strongest catapulting force that you can imagine. Regret can be transformational but you really need to reflect, talk to it properly, understand how it differs from shame and contextualize it meaningfully. Take care and for other such mental models do check out NetworkCapital TV. Thank you very much.
