ADHD & Entrepreneurship Friday Wins! With Val Nichols Business Coach and Mentor

All right, you guys, good morning, good morning, good morning to everyone. Happy Friday. We are here for Friday Wins. I'm so incredibly excited to be here at the end of the week to be celebrating with you guys, and we are going to be kicking off today. Talking about Friday wins and celebrations, and so feel free to hop in the chat, share your wins or celebrations, ping some people in here so that we can be winning together. And the reason why we celebrate our wins here, the reason why it's so important for us to acknowledge all the things that we do because. You know, especially as people who are neurodiverse, people with neurodiversity, people with ADHD, we can go from task to task to task, right? We can go from thing to thing to thing without even stopping and acknowledging all of the beautiful things that we've done. And, you know, I often think about entrepreneurship. I was doing some journaling this morning and I was thinking about, you know, what is it? What is it really mean to be an entrepreneur who has ADHD? And, you know, honestly, there's some, some challenges that pop up, right? I was with a client yesterday and we were talking about that, how, you know, there can be some challenges as far as like getting things done or, you know, getting the task initiated. But really navigating the entrepreneurial roller coaster when you have ADHD. It can often look like a million tasks, maybe a million projects that we start. And I know I'm exaggerating by saying a million, but all the things that we start and maybe we don't necessarily get in completion. It could look like a forest of papers. I'm looking at my desk right now. I have the, the organized piles of paper. It can look like a, a forest of paper and a brain wired For brilliance. And what I truly believe is that as an entrepreneur with ADHD, at the end of the day, what it really truly means for me is embracing the chaos, turning all the scattered ideas into success one task at a time. And I don't know about you guys, but so often I have to remind myself that, Val, it's not the 20 things on your checklist today. It's just one thing at a time. It's not the million different things that we're looking at and the million different things that I need to do between now and then. It's one task at a time, one day at a time. And I'm one human being. No one is expecting me. I should say no one except myself. is expecting me to get all of this done yesterday. But I have these rules. I don't know about you guys, but I have all these rules about life that I've created for myself. Call it perfectionism, call it RSD, call it masking, whatever it is. I have all of these incredibly outrageous rules for myself and for life. And when things don't fit in that mold, it's when I cause myself chaos. I cause myself suffering. And something— gosh, we're going to have to bring this guy in now. Now that I'm thinking about it, I have this friend, Don Curry. He wrote a book. I can't remember the name of it right now. I think it's called Tea with— I don't know— someone in an ashram. I don't know the terms. This was a good story. Don told me something brilliant about a year ago. He said, you know, Val, this idea of permanence, this idea that every single thing is going to stay the same, is not real. There's no such thing as permanence. It's when we think that things are going to stay the same, or they should stay the same, or they need to be the same, or whatever, like, that's when we create suffering for ourselves.

Yeah.

And so this morning, as I reflect on all the beautiful things we've talked about this week, man, we've had some incredible, incredible conversations. We've had some beautiful experiences of, of our similarities, of our differences, you know, in thinking about what it means to be an ADHD, an entrepreneur with ADHD. How when embracing the chaos, we turned our scattered ideas into success, one task at a time. And so today, on Friday, as we celebrate our wins, today what I'm celebrating is that nothing stays the same. Thank God. Because one part of me wants everything to stay the same and people to stay here and things to be predictable. But then there's this other part of me that wants everything to be different. And I need the novelty and I need the chaos and I need the change and the challenge and I need all those things. And so, you know, it's when we embrace the both/and. When I embrace the both/and, that things can be systematic, things can be here, but we also get to embrace the unknown. And I— the thing I learned about myself recently is that the unknown is always there. I just don't want to always see it. Putting up the blinders, pretending like it's not there, does not make it Untrue. And so today what I'm celebrating is I'm celebrating being an entrepreneur with ADHD. Holy crap, you guys, what a beautiful frickin experience we get to have, to have these beautiful, incredible, brilliant brains. And, you know, even though— I mean, we had— I had 3 losses this last week. I think that's why it hit me so hard. We had one gentleman that was a friend of mine's ex-husband. You know, he decided not to live anymore. And then I had a friend overdose on fentanyl on Sunday. And then I lost my ex-father-in-law a couple days ago. And, you know, it's just hard. It's so hard to embrace that change and realize that that person is gone. However, how much more does it motivate Us.

You.

Me. Us. To live this legacy out and to fully embrace the impact that we get to create. So I'm celebrating that we woke up this morning, that we're here together, that we get to fully embrace life with our beautiful brilliance. That we get to be entrepreneurs, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, sisters, brothers, people in the world, people in the space, people who are creating change. And we get to do that right here, right now. So happy Friday, you guys. I love you. And with that, I will heed the mic so we can talk about our celebrations and wins. Dave O'Dwyer says the only constant in life is change. Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. I'm sure you've got a lot of knowledge and embracing on that as well. And, um, yeah, I'm sending, I'm sending a gentleman your way, by the way, Dave. I'm sending someone I know your way. So I sent him that, the replay. We had the replay for the men and ADHD, and I sent him that, and he was— I just want to Give you guys all a shout out. Adam, Dave, and Andre, and Chris. I've sent him things of yours too, but he was so blown away by you guys. He was so blown away by you guys and your sharing of being a male and having ADHD and like your heartfelt sharing. He was like, wow, I had no idea that other people felt this way. You know, and I think that we can get beat up and self-beat up so much. And when we realize like we're we're not alone, we're in this together. What a beautiful experience we get to have. All right, with that, you guys have heard enough from me. I'm gonna pass it on over to Integrity Chris.

Hello, morning. Happy Aloha Friday from someone who used to be in Hawaii. It's still in my brain when. I think Friday instead of TGIF, it's like happy Aloha Friday. Can you hear me okay? I know I'm still dealing with this.

Hear you perfectly.

Pair of AirPod Pros, so they might cut in and out. But I love what you were saying, you know, understanding about this concept of change. To me, the next logical step in my brain when I'm doing my mindfulness about what the problem with change is fear, right? We're talking about fear of the unknown, fear of— I guess that's it. Fear of the unknown, not knowing, and the worry. So this idea that we could get to some point where things will stop changing is a false path. And it's so important to keep that in mind, right? And I say it all the time. I say it to all my clients. I'll repeat it until I'm said, perfection is a direction, not a destination. You know, we find— we form our ideals and we aim at them and we progress along our way towards them. But along that way towards them, they change. Our ideals morph and change as life hits us with new and unpredictable things. So just remember that you can, you know, you can be as idealistic as you want, as long as you accept you're not going to get that perfect ideal. And, you know, for me, that's been ridiculously freeing and empowering because I did suffer from that concept of perfectionism as well, stuck in that binary black or white, all or nothing, lose or win kind of thing. And I'm just not doing that anymore. I mean, that's part of the reason, at least for my little Friday win, I'm, I'm celebrating today that I'm No longer embarrassed to try to call myself an artist atop the other things that I do. That was one of the hardest things for me to ever say, was like, I'm an artist, because there's so many amazing artists out there that like every time you try to compare yourself, you're never going to measure up. But I finally realized like, I don't care if I measure up, I just like making stuff, so I'm gonna do it anyway and call myself an artist. It doesn't matter if I'm pro or if anybody else agrees, it's sort of irrelevant. To me, it's true and it helps me do my work. You know, as a therapist, being able to do art without guilt, you know, and how much of ourselves we put into almost everything we do. You know, as soon as I show a piece of artwork, if somebody doesn't like it, suddenly I think they don't like me. And this is just more and more practice in the concept of mindfulness to realize that that's just not true. It was part of the conditioning I was raised with.

Landed.

Oh, I love that. It's not true. It's part of the conditioning I was raised with. That's something I've learned too. Um, I don't know if you guys have been on this rabbit hole yet, but I just watched the show Severance on Apple TV and I am obsessed. Like, they set the tone at the beginning of the show. It's a little bit slow at first, but hold on because they start building the characters and it's like one of the best shows I've ever seen in my life. I can't even believe I'm saying that. But at the very beginning of it, they— the first line of the, the first episode is, who are you? And that kind of sets the tone for the whole thing. And, you know, they talk a lot about like, who are you if you don't have your memories or your title? Or if you don't really know, if you don't have your— you know, who are you if you're not in this corporation or this cult or this idea or this identity? And man, I can relate with that because I remember even like downplaying, like I didn't want to, you know, I'm like, oh, I can't be an entrepreneur. I can't be this. I can't be that. And like downplaying and not fully accepting or embracing the magic that we have. And it's so funny because I look at you, Chris, and I'm like, well, yeah, obviously you create this amazing art. You do incredible work. And, you know, that, that to embrace that identity and step into it, like we get to proclaim that. Right? Like, we get to proclaim, hell yeah, I'm an artist. Hell yeah, I'm an author. Hell yeah, I'm an influencer. You know, whatever it is that you want to do, like, we get to do that. And I love that, you know, so much of the questions we have that I've had over the years is like, is this true or is it just programming? Or is it something that was spoken over me? Or is it a belief that I have from childhood or from society. Hop on over to Dave. Good morning, or I don't know, it's probably tomorrow. No, it's probably this evening on the other side of the world, but how are you?

Yes, good evening. 5 PM here, so getting closer to my dinner time. Um, yeah, no, um, first off, Val, I just want to say thank you so much for the opportunity to participate in ADHD Rise this week. I've really enjoyed connecting with everybody Hearing everyone's stories, um, and just really being able to be a part of this. So thank you so much for that opportunity and for reaching out, because like I've been going through a bit of like kind of struggle the last few months. Um, over the summer, uh, I went back to the States for the first time in about 5 years, brought my fiancée with me. We had a pretty good trip, but we came back without a house and I had lost my part-time job. So I've now had to fully embrace the entrepreneurial kind of mindset and like being an entrepreneur. And even all the jobs I've been applying for, I keep not getting them. So it seems like the universe is pushing me into being more and more on the entrepreneurial side. With that being said, it's kind of like what you were saying too, of like embracing the change. A lot of change has been kind of going on, but it's an opportunity for growth, right? Because it's— you don't grow when you're in your— when you're in your safe zone, right? When you're when you're stagnant, you don't grow. And like, to truly understand who you are, right, that comes through the challenge, through the doing, through the action. Do you kind of understand where you're at and where you're going at? So I think some of my wins for this week is actually my parents actually were in Dublin for just 2 days because they're going to go visit my brother in Switzerland where he just moved to. And My mother, she's in her late 70s. And when I was back home this summer, I noticed it a lot. And I noticed it on this last time we visited, her memory's really starting to go. So it's just, it's starting to see this kind of early sets of dementia and Alzheimer's starting to kick in a little bit. And so it was, it's heartbreaking, but it's also, I'm learning to embrace Like those moments, um, a lot more of like the time I get to spend with them, um, so that I can really like be there for them. Um, hold on one second, Adley. Sorry, my, my, my soon-to-be niece is knocking at the door, and it's the first time I actually— I'm not on the bus, um, uh, like doing the thing. Um, uh, So no, like, so one of the wins is definitely, uh, being able to spend time with them. Yes, Adley, come in. Um, is to spend time with them. Um, and then also to be a part of this, this past week. I've really enjoyed being able to share my story, share with others, connect with everyone in the, uh, in this space. It's been just an amazing, uh, opportunity. Yes, you say hi. Say hi to everyone.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, what's your name?

Adley.

This is Adley, and we're gonna say—

Hi, Adley.

And with that, I'm gonna land the plane.

Hi, Adley. I am all the way on the other side of the world in Oregon, USA. So hello from across the universe. So awesome. Oh my gosh, Dave, I see such a miracle. In what you're sharing. It's like, well, yeah, you know, I mean, when those types of things happen, I often say it's like a plot twist, right? Like we get these plot twists where it's like, oh, a redirect. Because for me, I've got to get hit upside the head with like a 2x4 in order to see that I need to make a change sometimes, you know, it's like, I've got to like really have those moments. And so I'm excited. Thank you so much for being a part of this. And this is not the end, we will not be ending All the ADHD Rise celebration. Um, it, it might look— it'll look a little different coming up, but, um, definitely stick around, stay tuned, uh, click on the link above my head because we're gonna have a lot more coming up. And it is going to be a wild celebration of ADHD, ADD, neurodiversity. It'll be amazing. And that's— yeah, gosh, you really hit my heart when you were talking about your mom and her dementia. Um, all right. Mr. Adam Rick. Hello, hello, hello. How are you?

I am doing great. I, uh, yeah, it's been a week. It's been a week of reflection. Um, this last week, like, okay, so on Saturday, this last Saturday, I had a great big event. We had over 300 people come through this event I put together. We sold over 200 hamburgers. Smoked prime rib sandwiches. Everything, all the meats were raised on my farm or someone else's, one of my associates' farms. And it was a great experience having all this food that we— and this experience of people working together and community. And although that was a great experience, I felt like I failed, right? I felt this feeling because it was all ADHD. It was chaos. It was— I failed at a certain point of having things where I needed to be to capitalize on all this effort. You know, I've been working on this for weeks, months even, and then— For it to just like at the finish line, at the goal line, although we pushed the ball over the line, it was ugly. The food, to my opinion— no, everyone else thought it was great. In my opinion, it didn't turn out right. Um, you know, and that was partially on me, on the leadership. And I'm sitting there just frustrated because people weren't listening to me. So like, this is how it needs to be. We need to make the burgers this way. We need to make these prime rib sandwiches this way, and this is how it's going to be best. I've done the recipes and everything, and people second-guessed me, and they just took leadership of their own, and they took it upon themselves to change how it was finished. And although it worked, it wasn't to the highest standard that it possibly could be. And that frustrated me so much because I wasn't able to focus on my sales, I wasn't able to focus on my marketing. I put out a, to my opinion, a subpar product. But people had a great time. I had a bunch of people tell me how great of a time they did. And this just frustrated me in the back of my head. And just, I was There was Sunday nights, Monday nights, Tuesday nights, I woke up in the middle of the night, 1, 2 o'clock in the morning, just like my adrenaline's pumping. I'm just pissed because people weren't listening to me, because it failed, because am I even supposed to be doing what I'm supposed to be doing? And then with that uncomfortableness, And I, By the way, I love Stoic philosophy and that is, to me, to have those emotions was embarrassing to myself. Even though I didn't put those emotions out to someone else. I didn't go to call up my friends that volunteered to help me with this because they believe in me that much. I didn't call them up and say, you guys did everything wrong. Even though I wanted to, I took a second back, took the comfort of myself and like, okay, just hold this in, think about things, think through things. And I call that in and of itself a giant win, right? Because I didn't let the emotions just blurt out there. But with that, I've been forced to make the uncomfortable thoughts, the uncomfortable feelings of How do I deal with this? How do I make this better? Do I wanna do this in the future? How am I going to make this better in the future so I don't do the same thing? And fortunately, I've made a lot of great connections because of this one event. People believe in me even more. My— I had a chef friend that said, hey, Adam. I talked with him about it. How do I fix this? He goes, well, I'll just come out and help you out with this. I'll do the cooking. When it comes down to it, I'll do the cooking to your recipe. Your recipes are great. I've had your stuff before. You're doing good. And then I told another friend of mine, he goes, well, I'll come out all the way from Iowa. He'll come all the way over to eastern Wisconsin just to sell for me, just man my stand. Because I work closely with them. We, we have a good friendship together. And by me having this stress, this strain, I ended up bringing in 2 more people into my fold closer to say, let's be successful together. Let's make some success together. And then I had another person who runs a Department at a grocery store that was there, and I just had a great conversation with them last night. We're supposed to be like an hour meeting, turned into a 3-hour meeting because, hey, ADHD, that's what we're good at, right? We're good at making conversations, making people feel comfortable, making people feel important, making people— having that versatility in that conversation. And we had that conversation, and I'm going to be— Doing some events at this localized version of Whole Foods, right, you know, 30 minutes down the road. Be doing a couple events over there, doing some awesome things, having these awesome conversations with those folks and selling my products at that store. So, huge success, right? And sometimes even if we think we failed, we need to stop for a second because it's a failure in our head. It's not a real failure, right? And that's something that I really— I'm really proud of myself for doing that, you know, and I slowly getting myself— giving myself credit where credit is due when I do make these wins. of, hey Adam, you didn't kill anybody. You didn't sit there and strain on your relationships because you were pissed off at the world. You did good. And I encourage every one of you guys to do the same thing. You know, we— I guess I kind of go back to it a little bit every single time. I used to sit there and talk to myself and say, Adam, you're just too dumb to quit. Because I knew there were certain people that were better off, better at doing that project than I am. And in some ways it is. There's people that are better at doing things than we are, than every one of us. There's a better person out there for the project, but they're not doing the project. That's something I'm learning, is I'm not going to quit. I'm not going to say I'm too dumb to quit anymore. I'm just going to say I'm going to be successful because I won't quit. And that is a huge win. I think for each and every one of us, if we can just convince ourselves we're not going to be the one to quit, we may not be the best person for the project, but we're going to become that because that's the kind of versatility that we have. That's our superpower. So, yeah, keep this going. Glad to see a bunch of other people in here. Let's make something happen.

Woohoo! Adam, celebrating your win. Thank you for sharing that story and your experience and your strength from it. Because absolutely, you know, we can take those lessons and those blessings that come from the times when we may not even feel like we did our best. But, you know, I often say it's like this, this gift of ignorance or not ignorance, but like when I started my business, I did a lot of things that I didn't know I was not quote unquote supposed to. Nobody had told me I wasn't supposed to because I didn't know. And there's a whole idea of like, you know, we have that gift where We can be a little bit like, I don't know, delusional in the sense of like, yeah, I can do it. I know I'm great. I can do this. And, you know, being able to even look back and reflect on that and take stock of, of what happened, what went well, what went right. At the end of the day, you know, your friends showing up for you and believing in you that much, I think that is like gift in its own and learning the lessons because I don't know about you guys. But when I learned those lessons, like, I remember in my corporate jobs, like every corporate job I've ever had, they're like, Val, we don't even have to reprimand you because you'll sit there and take the stick and beat yourself up so much. We don't even have to like tell you, you'll beat yourself up. And so like we do. And, you know, but when we learn those lessons, man, do they stick. So thank you so much for sharing that. I'm celebrating you and your wins and All the cool things I see happening for you. I see your stuff on TikTok and Instagram, and it's super fun to watch your your journey and see all the successes that you're having. So thank you so much for that. All right, guys. Friday wins. We are here celebrating all the beautiful things. With that, I'm gonna pass the mic on over to. The woman I celebrate, who's gonna be celebrating her birthday here in just a few days. Gosh, it's seven, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. I had to count on my fingers. In seven days, Miss Sally. Happy birthday soon. What are you celebrating today?

Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening to everyone. And Valerie, I'm really sorry that you've had those. 3 people leave the world this week. I mean, I knew about one of them, but, um, you know, having 2 more, especially when one chose to not want to be here anymore, that's always really, really hard. But, um, I'm just, I'm just almost overwhelmed with, um, the things that people have said so far, the 3 guys that have spoken. It's like I just am really feeling just, wow, you know. I, I just I just feel so grateful that lately it seems like God, the universe, whatever you want to say, call it, seems to be on my side. And it keeps putting in my heart that, you know, Sally, you're working hard, things are getting better, you're going to be okay. And I've just learned so much knowledge and, you know, reading and going to some classes that I was going to. And I just I feel like, you know, no matter what it is that is waiting out there for me, I'm open to it and I'm going to be able to do it. And it just, you know, it just, it's so great to talk, to hear people speak about how they have strived and how they're getting better within themselves and the things that they're doing. And, you know, just, it just, to me, I just, I really feel overwhelmed today. So I'm not going to talk too much, but I just want to tell you, thank you very much. And you know, I'm so glad that we have groups like this because this is even better to me. It's even better than sitting talking to a therapist because you guys really get it. So thank you, and I hope you all have a great day.

I'm gonna hop on over to Miss Teresa if you are available. I know she might be at work, so let's check in and see.

Yeah, I just started lunch, so.

Oh, hi.

Yeah, so I don't know, my trying to get organized in my thoughts and what I do at my job because it's getting increasingly busy because— don't mean to bring the room down, but the economy's bad. And so that drives up rates for insurance, and that's my day job. And so all I— I work for a broker agency, so we spend a lot of time requoting, see if I have better rates with other carriers. And then I'll have former customers calling me asking me if I can get them a rate. And in my mind I'm like, look, you left me over price and you found something better. I, I only have what I have. And I like— it's just busy work because I'll do the work and then I'll I know that it's probably not going to be a better rate, but I do it anyway. And so, but, um, and then when I'm— I have a list that I keep to the left of my computer monitor and tape it there so I can have a visual and cross them off. And as I cross them off, more are added. So, but Monday I spent the first 2 hours just like, okay, let's go over this and I did rewrite them and I got to issue that on the 6th, and I don't issue this dude until October 16th. And he signed all of his paperwork already because I send these e-signature. And so just realizing that that's what I needed to do so I don't feel jumbled up in my head, you know. And so, and then at home I'm cleaning off my workspace And and it's almost cleaned off, and going to get me a used office chair that was available on Facebook Marketplace here in town. I have an office chair, but I don't want to wheel it back and forth throughout the house down the hallway. I think that would be silly. So I'm just trying to create a workspace for home for what I'm doing there. So those are my wins, and I. I'm continuing to go out with friends and family to get out of the house and not feel kind of down. So that's a win too, just feeling better in general. So thank you. I'm complete.

So cool to have people in our lives that do that, that we can just be. We don't have to perform. We don't have to put on a show. We don't have to always be the happy person or this or that. And that's why I love this room because we can just be. We've all— I don't know about all of us, but a lot of us have come in here not on the best day or not feeling the greatest or, you know, whatever. But we can just be and we get through it. And we've, we've been through a lot, you guys. This is year 3 of ADHD Rise. And man, we've been through a lot together and we have gotten to rise. I love you, Teresa. You are very, very special in my life and sending you so much, so much love.

Sending you love right back, girl.

Ah, thank you. Ooh, getting lots of cool links in the comments. I'm gonna have to go follow everybody. All right, you guys, we are celebrating wins today. It is Friday. Super excited. We've had some great wins already. Great insights, beautiful lessons. And we're gonna hop on over to our friend Mir.

Hello, hello.

Hey, Val.

Hey, room.

How are you doing today?

So good.

How about you?

I, I am not feeling like a winner this week. They switched up my medication from— for ADHD and And I don't think the new one is helping me. I can't focus. I'm sorry, this, this isn't a win. Um, yeah, I'm just, I'm just bummed out. Um, but I guess I have a win. Um, I'm teaching a workshop tomorrow virtually about, uh, automation of different web apps. So that's— and I got 10 people signed up. So that's my win, I guess.

Woohoo!

That's huge! Congratulations! And you know what? I just thought about maybe we should— I should change the language around this of like, hey, let's celebrate wins, or just get current if that's what you need to do. Because I think sometimes we just need to get current. And I appreciate you coming in and sharing that. I can definitely relate with that over— I just, I just went through that with medication changes and I felt— I can't even describe. I wasn't taking my medication consistently and I was on the wrong one apparently because it caused me like constant anxiety. It was just, it was really, it was, it's not fun going through that type of thing. And so thank you for staying current. And yeah, we, we don't always have to celebrate, you know, it's not always— sometimes our weeks aren't beautiful. So I appreciate you coming in and being honest.

That's true. And thank, thank you for having the group. It's helpful to even talk for a minute and know there's a group of similar people that are out there. So thank you everybody for being here.

Yay!

Don't forget, you showed up today. That all by itself's a win, especially if you're struggling.

That's true.

Yes, thank you for being here. And you guys were here for me when I was going through my hard grief and my health issues, even though, you know, and, and then They say that grief affects your brain on top of ADHD. Oh my gosh, I was suffering big time.

True stuff. We're all gonna— I like to say, you know, either we're coming out of it, we're in it, or we're gonna go in it. So it's like weaving together all of the beauty that we have here. Yeah, we all— we get to support each other. And that's what I love about this room and this community. With that, I'm gonna hop on down to my girl, Miss Deeds.

So good to see you. Hey girl, how you doing?

So good, how are you?

I am good. Speaking of showing up, all I remember is responding that I wanted to be on all these panels and then my week being totally haywire with my grandchildren. And my daughter about to go into labor. My daughter having a mental health crisis because I cut my grandson's hair. He didn't want it braided anymore, um, and he has a heart condition, so he was just like putting up such a fight. I felt like it was too much stress on his heart. So I've been doing hair Uh, hair was my first love. I've been doing hair for 20-something years. Used to cut my son hair, you know. So I gave my grandson a haircut. I cut it down, you know, not all the way off, but I cut the top down, I cut the sides down. I didn't mess with his edge up because, you know, he's still a baby, and from the braids and plaits He had places that he pulled out. So I guess his dad was so upset that I cut his hair— mind you, they were gonna get his hair cut anyway, but he has spots that he pulled from the braids. So his dad was so mad that I cut his hair. I don't know what he said to my daughter, but my daughter spent 3 Um, probably the last 6 years growing her hair out from a big chop. Her hair was literally past her bra strap, and she's 9 months pregnant, due any day. And it hurt her feelings so bad, whatever he said, she cut her head bald. And she had braids, so she literally cut all her braids. Now these are— I do braids. But she wanted some small braids for her delivery. She cut, uh, and I know, um, let's see, some white people in here, y'all might not understand. Um, she had braid extensions to where they braid, uh, long hair into her hair, and they were very small. They costed her $300.

She—

they were only a couple weeks old. She cut them off From the root. And when she sent me the picture, like, I had had a great day. Um, I had been getting stuff done. I had been staying on point, getting all this stuff done for my business since I relocated back here, uh, when my grandson was born, um, that had the congenital heart defect. And when she sent me that picture, like— Oh my God. I immediately wanted to be irrational too, and I wanted to go ahead and shave my head and cut my hair from the root. But I have a hair appointment today for my birthday, and, you know, and I'm just, you know, I'm just all in my emotions because this is my baby. She's so, you know, she's a great teacher. Um, she got into real state. Uh, she's a leader in the community, you know. She's such a sweet, sweet person. And I'm like, what in the world did he say for her to cut her head bald? And it just like, oh my gosh, like I felt so bad. And, um, so we took, uh, went with— well, we had already planned to take him to the barbershop so that he could get a real haircut. But what my goal was to do was to start it off because he did not tolerate getting his hair braided anymore. So, um, you know, we went to the barbershop Wednesday, and so the barber, you know, uh, went ahead and faded it because, uh, I didn't want to do too much, you know, because he was crying hysterically and all that type of stuff. But anyway, um, so, you know, he pretty much He did what I could have done, but he's a real actual barber, you know, to whereas I do more lady styles. So, you know, he, um, just finished the haircut off basically. And my grandson is so handsome, but now, you know, my daughter, you know, is bald. And I know when a woman cuts their hair, like, you know, you better watch out because like, that's a woman. She's not worried about the vainness and the expectations the world has on us as far as beauty and all those types of things. So, you know, I'm happy for her in that sense. And, um, short story long, that's one of my wins. Uh, I did not shave my head Bald. And also, um, I did not get upset with her husband. Um, I sent him a message, you know, starting off with, I love you. Uh, and, you know, but I just told him, you know, being an advocate for my daughter and being an advocate for, you know, the neurodiverse and those who might have other mental health challenges, you know, I just let him know. This was a major red flag on her mental health that she cut her head bald like that. And she went and taught— she went and taught her classes. Like, she could already be out on her 6 weeks, uh, leave, but she went in to teach 3rd graders with, you know, looking like a Cynthia doll or one of those Barbies, you know, that got neglected and had the, the hair chopped off. And, um, and I told him, you know, basically my message just let him know, you know, you got to do better. Like, my daughter's taking antidepressants, uh, she takes anxiety, um, medication, and so do I, um, in addition to my ADHD medication. Um, and I told him, you know, he's supposed to be a young minister. He's 30. He's supposed to be like a young minister. And I told him, you know, it doesn't— it doesn't make any difference if you can, uh, reach congregations of people or motivate congregations of people if you can't speak peacefully and lovingly enough to your wife who's 9 months pregnant? Like, you know, that— like, that doesn't make sense to me. And that's one of my issues with religion. But, you know, normally I probably would have cussed him out. I probably would have went off because I was so heartbroken, you know, for my daughter. But I kept it peaceful and I still advocated, um, For her. So that's my win. And like many of you, I, I did have a month of medication crisis as well. I got through that. Um, I filed a grievance against the company, and I actually stayed there because I love the therapist. And, um, so that was a huge win. And I'm just out here winning with my ADHD, my superpower. I'm just out here winning. And that's what I plan on continuing to do. And my acronym for WIN is what's important now. So in all those situations when ADHD speeds up my brain and takes my breath away and I'm not thinking fast enough, I think, no, you You gotta win. What's important now? So I look at that, and that's how I choose my reaction. And in that moment, the thing that was important was to advocate for my daughter and let him know that that was not acceptable. And, um, that's all I have. Thank you guys for listening.

Love you, girl. Yeah, celebrating your advocacy, standing up for yourself. Even if the other, if it's not well received, you know, it's like when we voice what's true for us, like that can be hard for us sometimes. That can be hard for people with ADHD because oftentimes when we do stick up for ourselves or we create a boundary, we can feel really guilty about it and then beat ourselves up. Even if we can do it in the moment, we'll sit there and ruminate and think about it. So congratulations for, you know, standing up for what's true for you because again, the highest cost we'll ever pay is if we abandon ourselves. And so we've got to be true to ourselves. And that is— man, what an experience. It's very like— I can't even imagine.

Go ahead.

Oh, I thought you were on mic again.

Oh yeah, I was just gonna say, thank God I gave her the cheekbones that I did. And so she is absolutely bald and beautiful with her new haircut, and Uh, I know her hair is gonna grow back really fast, so yeah.

All right, you guys, happy Friday to everyone. We're gonna hop on down to Samuel. Hello, my friends.

Can you hear me now?

Oh, there you are! Hello, hello!

Hello!

Yep, I can hear you now.

Happy Friday, everyone! Um, thanks for the room, Val. Um, this week, this week was very busy for me. I got a lot done. Um, I don't even know what my win would be. I'm trying. It's kind of one of those weeks where I did— where it was just go, go, go. And I got a lot done and I was very productive. I'm currently in Denver, Colorado. I was kind of preparing for that all week. I was— I'm vending for an art vendor show.

Oh, cool.

Today in a couple of hours at a brewery about 5 minutes from Red Rocks, the music venue out here. Um, I went to a show last night to see the band Goose, and they're playing again tonight. And so this, uh, vendor show I've been preparing the last few weeks for— I made a bunch of overalls. I have a tie-dye business. I have overalls. I brought shirts and I basically brought my whole inventory. I paid for a third bag on Southwest to bring out to have a big inventory for anyone who shows up, just in case I don't sell that many overalls. And so everything kind of just came together for that this week. I had, um, I like had brought all the overalls just in time to them, the woman who does my embroidery, and It was in just enough time for her to finish them. And, you know, like a friend had picked them up for me so I didn't have to go Uber there and grab them. And the stickers I had made had come just in time. It just kind of was one of those things where every— everything, everything seemed to work out like just in time. So after this call, I'm like getting ready, going over the show. And, um, yeah, um, it's, uh, I got to see some friends last night that I know through, you know, seeing this band before. Um, so I'm excited for this show. And when I go home, when I go home after the weekend, I have like less than 2 weeks until my next music festival I'm doing where I've, uh, Kind of organized a group campsite where I'd like post in the Facebook group for the festival, where in addition to going around and selling stuff and networking and promoting my brand, I'm, you know, all these people are joining my campsite to where it's mostly people I don't know now. It's a lot of people coming solo on their own from all over the country. And I hired a private chef I met last month, so I'm flying him down. He's going to be cooking for us, just like a bunch of real good meals. And so, yeah, a lot of— there's a lot of kind of interesting things I'm working on now, a lot of good things. And I'm just been trying to keep myself busy. And because that's when I feel the best, when I'm busy with a lot of things, just doing things that are important to me that I like to do. So yeah, I guess that's sort of my win for the week. And I think that's all.

Heck yes, Samuel!

So cool.

Red Rocks is gorgeous. I'm so excited you're there right now. It's probably absolutely stunning when the sun starts coming up. And oh my gosh, if you guys have never been there, you should, um, Google it and look at it. It is an incredible venue. It is so beautiful. So cool to hear about the community you're building too. Like, that is amazing. I can see that really like unfolding into this like big thing where people are like coming to different shows and hanging out and they create that community and connection. And that's, that's gonna be so fun. I'm excited. Beautiful.

Yeah, thank you. And I mean, it truly is a beautiful venue. I, um, I met up with some friends and we went like all the way to the top. We were in row like 66. And it's, for those who don't know, it's, it's like massive. Like there's so many stairs. It's like Like, it's so high up, and, uh, it was just really cool last night with the view of all the lights of the city and like the autumn moon in the background. Um, and it was, uh, yeah, it's just a really unique— it's a really unique place. It's really cool to get to go there.

Yay!

I love it. The autumn moon, so beautiful. All right, it looks like we have Miss Catherine popped in. Another another Florida Floridian.

What are you guys called?

Florida Ian? I think we're called Floridians. Floridians.

Yeah. I'm sorry I'm late. I completely skipped. I I apologize. I think my biggest win this week and it's. It's probably a lot bigger than I'm making it out to be, but on Tuesday night I had chest pains. It was just wrapped around my chest. I thought that was a vice grip. And the first time it happened— and I'm alone, so your mind gets to going. The first time it happened, I just tried to breathe myself out of it. But 10 minutes later, it came back with a vengeance. So the third time it came back, I thought, you know, I'm not going to Google. I was— because I was Googling it and I'm like, no, stop. Let's just let them decide. Let the professionals decide. So I hopped on 911 and you know how it is, a big fire engine and EMS and they all come and I let you know, they let them in and we discussed it and saw what we thought the best. route was to go to the hospital just to make sure, check out my heart. Of course, you know how that is. You're there for like 24 hours. But the good thing is my heart's fine. It's working fine. So they're thinking it's probably something with either my digestive system or maybe pulmonary. We don't know. And I'm kind of glad— I'm not glad it happened because it was very painful, but— One of the side things was I have the itty-bitty start of heart disease. Now, had I not gone in, I never would've found out. So now I can, I mean, I found out that my cholesterol is going down. And so now I know I'll be able to manage this, get on the right medicines and just take care of it and then go on. So it's like, This has been a rough 24 hours, but I, uh, I'm just very grateful to be alive. It's the— I think the hardest part was just kind of going through it alone and sitting in the hallway for 7 hours, but eventually I got to a room. Um, and so I'm just kind of grateful to be able to talk about it, and I know that I'm gonna be fine. It's just, I really— Val knows my situation with my husband. And so I'm looking forward to him coming home next week. Val, it's been 5 weeks this time, so he was out for quite a while. But he is just such a beautiful thing. He was sending me flowers anyway, just because he knew it was— I mean, I'm thinking because it was the 5th week, but that's okay. And so he just changed the card to, you know, I hope this makes your day better instead of Just because I thought, what? Not that it's good timing or anything, but what a sweetheart that he would do that. So I just have a real grateful heart today and just feeling grateful to be alive. And I'm taking it easy. I'm just going to turn my computer in today and that's about it. I'm just taking it easy. And so I apologize for being late. I stumbled across it and I'm like, oh no, I missed because I really, you know, we're connected again and on this wonderful app. And I think connection is what it's all about, you know, and an attitude of gratitude. So it's just, it's good to be here. And I'm, I'm just, I'm just grateful to be here is basically bottom line. So, and I'm going to be fine. And I'm gonna do good. So that's it. I'm complete.

I love you, Catherine. Sending you all the love. No worries about being late. You are exactly on time. And yes, absolutely. I'm so happy to hear your husband's sending you beautiful flowers just because because you deserve to be spoiled and you deserve to be cherished, as do all of we us. But yes, I know your guys's relationship. Has been very special and really cool. So that's that's amazing. I love it. And yeah, you guys. So we're here for ADHD Rise. This was Friday wins. We're celebrating our Friday wins or getting current. I think I'm gonna start saying that now. Getting celebrating wins or checking in. You know, if you just need to check in and get current, let's do that because we don't always we don't always have a great day or a great week. And so yeah, we're gonna be coming back. I'll be. Rescheduling the ADHD and Relationships room. I'll let you guys know when that's going to be. I'll schedule it in here, or if you're on the link above, click adhdrise.com, sign up. I'll send out an email to let you guys know. We'll have a couple other things. We do have a couple other things coming up throughout the month because why? It is ADHD Rise in celebration of ADHD Awareness Month. So happy ADHD Awareness Month to all of you guys. I just bought some— I got some new t-shirts in and I'm so excited to wear them. It's like, my mind is brilliant, ADHD Rise, all the things. So yeah, excited to be celebrating ADHD Awareness Month with you guys. And this was Friday Wins. We'll be back again next Friday celebrating, and there'll be some things in between on and off this platform. I just really wanted to honor the roots of where we started ADHD Rise here 2 years ago. So this is our 3rd annual. We celebrate— we started this, um, 2 years ago, and it's been a beautiful experience. Um, we will continue it. I love you guys. And with that, feel free to unmic and say goodbye. We're going to close down the room in just a moment. We'll see you soon.