Autism & It's Unique Challenges | ADHD RISE | Brian Colletto | Hosted By Val Nichols Business Coach

Good morning. Hey, Brian.

Hey, Val.

How's it going?

Good.

How are you doing?

Awesome. So glad that you are here. I'm pinging people in and the text message just went out for everyone to join in with us. So they will be hopping in very, very soon. And I want to just say thank you so much for Being a part of this. And welcome to everybody. We are in ADHD Rise. This is our 2nd annual event, and it is because neurodiversity, all of the things— it is ADHD Awareness Month, and we celebrate neurodiversity in all of its beautiful flavors, in all of its beautiful flairs, and all of its uniqueness. So we are celebrating autism today with an incredible Human being who is an advocate and an influencer in the space of autism. If you don't know Brian yet, everyone go follow him. Check out his reels. He is consistent. He is dynamic. He is incredible. And I know that you know this is a conversation that I've actually had text messages from friends who are like, "I don't want to miss this. How do I join it?" They didn't know what Clubhouse was, so I sent them you know information on how to do it. So yeah, ping people in here if you know that there's people. who need to hear this conversation. I also had a serendipitous moment this morning where, um, somebody just happened to be, uh, diagnosed with autism, and she's like, I don't know what that means. I don't know anything about it. And I was like, come join this conversation. She might not be able to hop in, but I'll definitely send her the replay. So everyone, this is ADHD Rise. I am your host, Val Nichols, and I'm so honored and excited to be your guide, your mentor, Your coach through this experience. Um, I am a business coach for entrepreneurs who are wanting to create not just a business, but a legacy. So if you are that purpose-driven entrepreneur, definitely hang out in this space, get to know me. Welcome to my world. If this is your first time ever jumping in, welcome. If we are acquainted, welcome. Um, I hope you'll say hi and jump up on stage. And, um, I love you. And if we don't know each other yet, Then I'm excited. Let's get to know each other. All right, you guys. So with no further ado, I'm going to pass the mic over to our incredible guest speaker, Brian Colletto, who again is an influencer, an advocate around autism. He embodies empowerment. He embodies resilience. He embodies so many incredible things. So I'm going to pass it over to him now. And Brian, can you please introduce yourself and let us know a little bit more about you?

Thank you so much, Val. Hi, everyone. So I am indeed Brian Coletto. And I do have autism and I do have challenges with that. Before I get into the whole background of autism, I do have a day job of counting volunteer time over 14 years working for a nonprofit vocational rehabilitation center agency. for neurodivergent adults. And outside of that, I do work out a lot, and I am also of a background in fitness as an enthusiast, not as a trainer, but as an enthusiast, having been on my journey for over 15 years. of living a healthier life with more moderated sugar. And I am also a Reels recorder. I don't do videos for any specific company or any person, just my own stuff where I will use trending sounds. That, that stuff is not totally my own, but, but The videos that I make are my own for people to view and be inspired by. And I'm also doing podcasting on Fireside currently. I've also done shows on Wisdom, although I'm not doing as much on Wisdom now as I'm doing on Fireside in terms of hosting shows. So, I did not really prepare a speech today. So, I'm just gonna speak from my heart about the challenges that I have as it relates to autism. So, one of my challenges is processing information, and I know that some people not on the spectrum may have that issue too. So, this may lead to delayed responses to questions that either I don't want to answer or they're tough to answer. And sometimes I speak a little bit in circles in terms of something. Where I can't figure out the name of an object that I'm describing. And there's also a gray area between right and wrong that may be difficult for me at times. Sometimes I need directions to be more concrete to follow. And I also sometimes struggle with nonverbal cues especially. But if you verbally tell me to stop or it's making you uncomfortable, then I will stop right there. So, I do my best to read nonverbal cues, but very— Sometimes they happen after an issue has happened or I've broken off from somebody. So, that in itself, the everything, but especially those nonverbal cues, make it difficult sometimes when it comes to to social situations in person and especially to the information processing as well. I'm more of a listener a lot of times when it comes to those roundtable conversations. I see it within the groups I participate with or Even at the festivals I go to where there are other people at a vendor, and it seems like I can't really get that chance. So, but, but I do keep moving forward, and sometimes, actually a lot of times, the weight is worth it. And then sometimes I just can't stop talking. And a lot of times I do leave people with something positive. And I think that there's also— And this is not as much of an issue as it was in the past, but sometimes meltdowns or some kind of temper, something along those lines, those— I don't always like to say that that's a characteristic of autism, to be quite honest, because I sometimes think that it's just really a natural feeling that I have, and I would especially think that in certain situations with my immediate family, that it's not because of my autism acting up. It's because I Really do feel that way because they don't see certain things the way I do, and I think sometimes they want to be indignant that their way is the best when I know in my heart it's. It's not. And that's why I lean on these communities. That's why I lean on these support systems. So, but that being said too, I wouldn't say that I get tearful as much as I used to. But I would say that at the end of the day, if I have those occasional moments, it's alright because it's just natural feeling expression. I know that for some people on the spectrum it's a little bit harder because some of them don't verbally speak or they have trouble saying their words clearly. But for me, it's really just natural feeling because I could say my words clearly. And I also want to be clear too that I know it may seem like I have Asperger's syndrome But I do not. Asperger's is people that are fixated on one subject and that's all they talk about. I'm not that way. I have 5 pillars besides autism. There is the fitness, there's faith, music, and entertainment. And the faith, I've always had that in my life. And many years ago, I felt it transform by stepping away from my childhood church that I loved deeply. And I couldn't say that at that time. time, or I couldn't fully say that, but I can say that now, that I love them deeply. But I knew that in my heart that if I was going to build community, if I was going to see beyond this small world of Edison, New Jersey, and beyond the small world of my immediate family, that I needed to—

Move.

Go elsewhere and find other small groups within big groups. So, and I think that, yeah, and that was also another thing with autism is some people with autism have trouble with noises, and I used to have that. Especially as a kid. I got more comfortable with it with going to a bigger church. I grew up, for those of you that may not know, I grew up in a small Episcopal church, and technically I'm still that, but I've been unofficially practicing Catholic for a number of years. But I have love for all religions. Or whatever your beliefs are, we're all one big team. So, but I happened to find it through a big denomination, and and and I attribute that as to why I was able to get into other things like networking and festivals and. Be able to essentially do all those steps that brought me here today to Clubhouse and being in all these different spaces from big to small. So I give thanks and have gratitude for God for giving me the gifts. And not everybody on the spectrum can recognize God in their lives. And it might not be able to be taught to them even through their parents. And music, music was always a way for me to express myself. It still is. I did play trombone growing up as a kid. I never owned my own instrument. I don't actively play music now, and I haven't for over a decade as I shifted more to the fitness life. But music is still a part of me, and people see that in my dancing and lip-syncing in my videos these days. But A lot of people on the spectrum can express themselves through music, and that's what I love about music. There's a reason sometimes that you hear certain jingles in autism commercials. It's because they really like that music. And the entertainment part is a little bit complicated. I thought I— it's hard to say because I don't know totally where a path could be for me in that field, but I do know that I I am inspired by sports, and I don't actively play sports, although a few days ago I did see an article for a person on the spectrum who bowled a perfect 300 and felt inspired to share the post. Also to acknowledge that I'd love to do bowling once in a while. I have. I haven't done it in a number of years. I I never did it on a regular basis. But in saying that again, and I think that some people on the spectrum don't like physical contact of. So, you know, there are sports that have no contact, which I would prefer for me, myself. Although I do like physical contact in the form of a hug or anything that's like loving contact. So, But, you know, these are things to be mindful of with anybody, really. So, but yeah, the biggest thing I want to say is that autism is not always seen on the outside. It's a lot of times too on the inside. Of course, It could be seen on the outside with some people, but it could be more on the inside, which a lot of people have to know the inside of me to know that I have that. Very few people can totally say that they knew it. And the ones that know it are the ones that have a lot of experience with it. So yeah, I think that's, uh, I, I think, wow, I, I'm amazed that I spoke this long.

But, um, yes, thank you so much, Brian. You know, I want to honor you and lift you up for a moment. Um, for those of you who don't know Brian, go get to know him. He does super cool reels and is just always such a positive, encouraging person. You know, I've seen him jump into rooms. I think I met you in like some random big room at some point, and I was like, man, this guy is amazing. He's awesome. And then you started popping in my rooms, and I've seen you around, and, you know, we've since become friends. And, you know, you are just such an incredible human being, for one. And for two, I'm so grateful that you shared with us some of the experiences you have. Because I think so often with any neurodiversity, ADHD, autism, we— I'm, I'm going to call myself out here. I had a stigma around what I thought autism was, and even ADHD. I had a lot of stigma around, you know, neurodiversity. And then when I came on Clubhouse and I started really getting to know and having conversations and More and more people in my world were like, oh, I'm autistic. I'm autistic. Wow. I'm ADHD and autistic. Wow. I have autism. And I started realizing that there's such a spectrum. And you know, our theme for the year for ADHD Rise, this is our 2nd annual ADHD Rise event, is because we refuse to be defined by any limitation. And so I want to honor you for a moment, Brian. Thank you for coming up here and being vulnerable and opening your heart and sharing with us. Because you know what? We refuse to be defined by any limitation. And I see that in you. I think that you are— you embody that. You embody that. And you know, you're a hero to me, and I want to honor you. And thank you so much for sharing your story and for sharing with us today. Thank you. Gave you some flowers. All right, so let's open it up. Does anyone have any questions, comments, thoughts? I know we do have some people in here who have some incredible experience with autism, whether if that's parenting autistic children or, you know, being dual diagnosed, which is a big thing too, you know, being dual diagnosed. So I would love to start off. Go ahead and flash your mics if you have something. You would like to share, or we can go in PTR order as well. All right, let's just pop over to Adam. I don't see your microphone, so you might be in the matrix again. I know this happens for you a lot. Happens for me a lot too. You might need to pop out and then hop back in. I wonder if it's an Android thing. Drop in the comments if you if that happens to you, where you have glitches. I don't know if it's an Android thing or not. Adam, doo doo doo doo doo. All right, we're gonna hop over to Catherine, my girl, my love.

Hi, you just rock it every day, Val. It's amazing.

Oh, I love you, Brian.

I'm just listening for today, and I'm just learning so much about autism. Um, I really don't have any preconceived prejudices at all. I'm just trying to listen and learn. And I just love your story so far. So keep rocking it.

Appreciate it, Brian.

Yay!

Thank you, Catherine. Yeah, and I want to give a shout out. So to reset the room, we are— this is ADHD Rise. We have Mr. Brian Coletto here all the way from the East Coast. I'm here in the West Coast. So, so excited that he was able to hop on today and share with us autism and its challenges. And I know we have some incredible people I just saw Carly pop into the audience, and she is one of those people that, um, really, for me, I didn't know— I had a lot of stigma around ADHD, autism, neurodiversity, and what that should look like. And, you know, just the educational piece of opening up and seeing what it really is and learning, you know, that we're not broken. Nothing is wrong with our brain. We have unique challenges at times, but, um, Just loving this conversation. Hello to Nathan, Hitomi, Polly. Amazing, amazing Polly. He'll be here to share a lot on Friday as well. Teresa, hello my love. Mir, Dave, Kazan, Carly, Hadas, Ryan, and Tina. Hello everyone. If you want to know more about the ADHD Rise event, it's going all month long and you can click above my head at adhdrise.com and get all of the info. With that, I'll hop over to Nathan. Hello, my friend. It's been a little sporadic when I've seen you lately, and I'm so happy to see your face. How are you?

Hey, Val. Uh, Nathan is on the phone.

Oh, he's on the phone. All right, we will—

bummer—

we will pause in anticipation. And then Adam, I think you might need to hop out and hop back in. I think you're in the matrix.

Hitomi.

Good morning, Val. Hi, Brian, nice to meet you. Adam, Catherine, Nathan, and everyone here on your room. I'm glad to be here. I just wanted to honor you for putting up this room and raising awareness about autism and ADHD. I myself had, you know, thrived, uh, from the different neurodiversity of, um, ADHD and autism. My son, who passed away when he was 20 years old through suicide, he was diagnosed with ADHD. So I've seen the symptoms, how it manifests with him, how he coped with him and try it. And I myself, um, am still seeing some symptoms that are not symptoms anymore. I've switched it and transformed it into, you know, um, creating art and acceptance, the radical way of accepting it and being able to function well. And Just this week, last week Thursday, my daughter was just recently diagnosed in the spectrum. So this week I am gaining a lot more of knowledge how, you know, it's different for everyone and then the learning mechanisms under, um, the spectrum is, uh, different because these are sensory. The way we hear, speak, or interpret— people call it dyslexia. But you know what, I don't want to be a hypocrite, but I am tired. I am so sick and tired of the labels. I want to be, you know, I wanted to be able to accept who we are boldly and not to be scared, you know, if— because we sense vibrations and feelings and interpret things differently. And what I can resonate with more people when it comes to autism. Kindness with people who has autism is really prudent because we just, um, see emotions differently. We feel it, and it's hard to explain it through words, verbal communication. Because we can be able to express it through our arts. Some people that has been on the spectrum are great, you know, um, artists or, um, athletes. And I really wanted to raise more awareness and education to the people out there, and especially with moms that being compassionate with children, not to be, you know, um, pressed on what society expects from person, but instead, you know, give everyone that chance to be able to express themselves, um, in the way On how they are unique. So finding your room today is not an accident. I love Brian. I follow Brian. He spreads so much positivity into this world, and I admire Brian because he comes out there to be also the voice of a lot of us. And I'm one of those advocates and activists because if they see we speak differently, we interpret or express things differently, people are being— kids are being bullied at school. And I've seen this, I've gone through this. My daughter has gone through the same. My son was the opposite. He was the protector of bullies, but at the same time, he's labeled as the bad kid because he protects kids that are being bullied. So that, that stigma, that cycle that becomes, you know, the society's dilemma and demise. comes from, you know, just standing in a place of compassion and kindness that everybody has to— is going through different things. And autism is long known. When you have this diagnostics, normally it will be asked during gestational period or during in time of life of the mother. What trauma she had gone through or what it was that is, you know, genetically had been transferred. It is not a mental illness, but with autism, it's more on the sensory side. So for instance, for my daughter, if I would be allowed to share my own personal experience with my daughter and my son, My daughter, we see frustrations in everybody. With my first child, the frustration sometimes when, you know, it becomes an overwhelm, it becomes a behavior that is, you know, will surprise people. Like, let's say throwing stuff, you know, being like having irrational, as they say. It could be ballistic in some movements. It has to be lashed out, leashed out. Well, on the other hand, my daughter, I see her the opposite way, very quiet. But then again, it manifests physiologically. So I came into that experience where, you know, she had skin infections. A skin rash, and she's been scratching, um, the whole time, even in her sleep. So these are also sensory, um, trigger warning. I've seen kids who had done self-harm. Let's say cutting is one symptoms of— big symptoms of ADHD as well. When it comes to not being able to recognize themselves and be able to evaluate what type of, you know, emotions that is. So having to see your children go through different phases of how hard it is to internalize in their mind, what goes through, how frustration it is when their point is not being, you know, taken across. Or, you know, when you try to express something and your point doesn't come across because it's hard for people to give a minute or so to listen and hear the other person who really wants to express something. It's difficult, especially for Um, kids that has delayed speech or, you know, listening disabilities and in some sort. And I am so grateful because now here in America, at least there are schools that are being kind, um, and putting efforts to individualize Studies for, um, children that goes through ADHD and autism. And it's hard when it becomes, you know, it becomes a complex, um, symptoms like adding up bipolar and ADD on top of ADHD and autism. And people think that You know, this is just a label. This is just something. It's not. We really go through some different phases, some different like the senses are much more heightened when it comes to ADHD. Kids are much more sensitive. I myself, I'm sensitive at times. I could be tough. And on times, it's difficult when you are not able to discern those, uh, or differentiate or know when to use it and when not to use, you know, talents and powers that are within. So I'm grateful for this room. I have, you know, we can exchange notes and resonate with each other. It is such a blessing to know you guys. So thank you so much. I want to honor you, Val, for opening this room and allowing me to speak and be heard today. Thank you so much.

Thank you so, so much. Oh my goodness, Hitomi, your vulnerability. I want to honor you in that. You know, what I heard was that, gosh, you've been through some incredibly tragic things, which my heart is just going out to you, my love. And, you know, it's a really raw Reminder to me that this is not just something we do, right? This ADHD rise—it is not just something we do. This is a conversation. This is a movement, and this is life or death for some people. You know, because that loneliness, that isolation, that feeling—you know—bullying and you know things like that that can just really make us believe that there we are something that we're not. That's what this conversation is all about. And you know, thank goodness for people. That are willing to step up and share their stories and to share their experience because, you know, it's in that being together. You know, when I rise, you rise, we rise together, and we get to rise and show people that, you know what, it's not something to make fun of. It's not something to be a bully about, or, you know, a lot of those things, you know, some of those behaviors you talked about. Yeah, I did those as a kid too. You know, really bizarre things that I didn't know that I was doing to relieve stress. And then, you know, like 12 years ago, almost drank myself to death, was using drugs and alcohol to numb a lot of the pain and the guilt and the shame that I felt around myself. And, you know, had I known, maybe things would be different. But, you know, I truly believe that God, universe, angels, whatever you believe in— for me, it's God— I believe that God will use these heartaches.

Yeah.

will use these stories to carry the message to someone else. I love your story, and thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing that with us today. Brian, did you have anything to comment or share?

Yeah. Yeah, I love Hitomi. The friendship with her has grown really fast through this app, and she has promised that one day we will dance together in some way, shape, or form. And so I will always be looking forward to that day. And everyone up here on stage and in the audience, you're invited too. So, but yeah, that was about that bullying stuff. Yeah, I went through that as a kid too with being called the R-word And some other names as well. My former classmates don't need to apologize to me at this point. I know many of them are sorry, and many of them do respect me now. So it's not because I didn't forgive them; it's because. I don't want other kids to have to go through that. So that being said too, did I return it at times? Yeah, I did. I did, and I apologize for that as well. And even in this online world, Sometimes things can be challenging. I mean, I went through losing a friend for now a few months ago that I first met through this app last year, and part of that was because of Feeling triggered, and I I didn't totally know how to deal with that situation. I wanted to support, and I have a hard, hard time letting people go. But that being said, yeah, I I admit that I have not always been perfect. with how I handle certain situations, but I hope that people know that I really do have a big heart and that that's really where it comes from if I have a temper or lash out or something along those lines. So, yeah, that being said, yeah, I appreciated your share, Hitomi, and I appreciate your support, Val, and everyone's support here. And I will pass it back. Thank you.

Thank you, Brian. You know, it's funny that— it's interesting, the theme I'm hearing today is that kindness matters, right? And I love, you know, everybody who is holding space and is being in this conversation today because I wish we could wrap up every single feeling, emotion, and word that we're speaking here, that kindness matters. Right? It doesn't matter what we look like, what symptoms we have, what diagnosis we have, what words we have behind our names, what words we have before our names, like whatever. It does not matter. It's kindness. And if we could bottle up the love and compassion that we have in this room today and sell it out there, man, or give it out to the world, even just give it out, it would be, you know, kindness. And, you know, we don't need to fear what we don't understand. If somebody looks different or believes different or has a different opinion, then that's okay because kindness is what matters. With that, I'll hop back over to Adam. Looks like you're back in the room. If you can speak now, I would love to have you share.

Thank you. You know, I know a little bit about autism, but I really love hearing Brian speak and having him share. You know, I've had the opportunity to hear him a few times, and I really think he's just a genuinely kind, good person. And I think that there's a lot of misunderstanding. We need to be able to have people brave enough to communicate. So from my point of view, I just want to kind of offer what someone else said and really make sure that he knows that we recognize and respect and appreciate him as a person.

Thank you so much, Adam. Your kind words are beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All right. With that, I'll pass the mic over to Miss Belinda. Heart of compassion, heart of love, all of the things. I will pass the mic over to you.

Hi, Val. Thank you.

And hi, Brian.

Long time no see, but I'm really happy you're here. I just wanted to say, and I put— just put in the chat this way, I had a minute to get over here— how inspirational what you're doing on social media puts a smile on my face. I'm sure faces of many other people, but just seeing you put yourself out there, and it's an example that I can show my son, like, hey, check this guy out, he's so cool, and guess what? He's autistic like you. So you are so appreciated for that, and I encourage everybody, if you want like some like daily inspiration with music and dance and to see this amazing man just do his thing, and follow him for sure. I think TikTok, Instagram, I follow you everywhere, Brian, so wherever you're at, I'll be there to support. Val, thank you so much for holding this important space. Yes, autism. And I know we're real quick talking about bullying. That's something that unfortunately my son had to experience prior to being diagnosed and then after being diagnosed. And yet again, we're dealing with people, I'll say young children, who do not seem to understand What it is to be kind. And I'm really surprised because this is at a Catholic school who tried to do what would Jesus do type of teaching. So personally, I'm disappointed. I did have to meet with the principal a couple of times and come to find that one of the boys who was teasing my son has an autistic brother. And I was like floored by that. I just, I have a brother who's deaf. We moved to this country because he's— for better education that wasn't provided in our country at the time. And I would never, ever, right, bully, make fun, point a finger at a person who's deaf, specifically because I, as a sibling to a person who's deaf. So I'm just trying to wrap my brain around this child who's bullying another child for simply being the way he is. Can't— it's been difficult. And I'm a mama bear. I was a professional advocate. So it's really difficult for me not to want to get involved and run in there. However, I do have to honor my son. He is more private about his life, which is fine. That's his right, of course. And I'll always honor that. So So it's been difficult to see, hear, but I'm there for him as an ear. But I can encourage him with examples set by Brian. And that gives me hope. That makes me happy. It makes me smile. Hitomi, I'm sending you so much love your way.

Thank you.

Because it's difficult and I live it every day. But it's okay, it's okay. Again, thank you so much. The one tip I'll say is just like a bumper sticker on the back of my car, listen to children. Really listen to them, hear what their message is, whether they want to be out with their neurodiversity or not, whether they're being bullied or they're the bullier, listen to them. And Yeah, that's what— that for me is the best tip I think that I found. My son may not be doing what I would want him or how I want him to handle being bullied, but it's okay. At the end of the day, it's what makes him feel comfortable, and I need to honor that. So thank you so much, Val, for this opportunity. Brian, again, big kisses to you and showering you with diamonds. Thank you. I'm complete.

Thank you so much, Belinda. Oh my goodness, I love you so much. Bryan, do you have anything to share about that?

Yeah, I do. I will say that I don't get to connect enough with you, Belinda, and sometimes I don't know if my stuff is getting out to everybody because I know that a lot of people have very jammed news feeds. But when people tell me that they're still viewing them, that, that's a blessing. And yeah, I, I, I would like to connect further with you, Belinda, beyond the social media platforms, because I do think that you are an awesome person. And yeah, I— yeah, among the many, many people that I've met on here, yeah, I've— I definitely feel like closely connected With you, Val, with you, Hitomi, with you, Belinda, and some people just listening in the audience today as well. I see Theresa there. Yeah, I've— I always appreciate you as well, Theresa.

Thank you.

And Carly, Sen, Amanda, Paulie, thank you for your support as well, and everyone here. So yeah, yeah, just thank you. And yeah, I will, I will look to backchannel. you at some point, Belinda. And yeah, I'm just grateful for all my friends' support here. And yeah, that's what I've got in terms of my response right now.

Beautiful. Yes. And you know, I was interested— I know that there's a couple of people here in the audience who have children who are autistic. And, um, you know, I, I don't have children, period. So I don't have a lot of experience with that. Um, but I'm curious to know, Brian, you know, if there's something that you could share with us as far as like being a parent, or if we have someone in our life, you know, what if there's a sibling, a parent, a sister, a brother, a friend? Is there something that you could share with us that is like— You know, if I could tell each one of you one thing, it would be this. What would that be?

If there's one thing that I could tell each and every one of you, specifically as it relates to autism, I would say that Autism is a gift and that no matter how hard the road is, never to give up. Again, I know that sometimes it can be very challenging and it'll make you want to give in. But never give up hope. I believe that there can be medical breakthroughs. Not saying that as a way to get rid of it, but rather to help those who have more challenges on the spectrum so that maybe the spectrum doesn't be— isn't so much of a spectrum, but rather that everyone on the spectrum can have a lot of skills one day, which include speaking and being able to have a job, being able to— Either live independently or choose people to live with, and and so yeah, and and and also to see the tools that the government offers, which many know I do get Social Security. See it see it as a tool. And not as something to— that you have to live on for the rest of your life. If you do and it just happens to be that way, okay. But if you see it just as a tool and don't just accept it— but just see it as a temporary tool, then, then it can help you so that one day you can be that owner, business owner making lots, or that entrepreneur making lots, or that speaker making lots. And, and so That's the way I see that, and I will never give up hope. I know it's difficult for people to be able to get me out of that status, but I will keep hustling as much as I can every day. So as a roundup, Again, autism is a gift and never give up hope. That's what I would say.

Wow. Oh my God. I'm going to have to send you the replay of this so that you can put that in a clip for your Instagram or whatever. I know that you have spoken at Rotary, you've spoken at a lot of events, but your ability To articulate and share from the heart is so beautiful. And, um, we— I don't know, I'm gonna give a shout out real quick. I love to do this. I love to embarrass my mother when I'm at events. We all know this. She knows this. It's amazing. But, um, my mom Sally is down here in the audience. She probably has no idea how to use this app. Um, literally just jumped on here for this. And I just want to say, give her a huge shout out. Our story was that my mom was a caregiver. She worked with United Cerebral Palsy in Portland, Oregon, and we— she worked with developmentally disabled people while I was growing up. And, you know, it's funny because I didn't even— it didn't even occur to me until I saw her pop up in here. And that alone, I think was a huge piece for me opening up and being, growing up and being open-minded because I remember going to the group home and, you know, people in wheelchairs and people who were, um, you know, having unique challenges. And so it was never a weird thing for us. And, you know, my mom is such— Mom, I'm embarrassing you. But, um, you know, it's like, so she was such an advocate for mental health and for, you know, that Stopping the cycle of, you know, I'm not going to share her whole story, but a lot of really stigmatized, a lot of mental illness that wasn't addressed or encouraged to be talked about. And just a lot of things, you know, she stepped up and she was the miracle that, you know, changed that. She changed it and she took a stand and, you know, raised us to be different. And I didn't even realize that until she popped in the room. But yeah, we grew up. with developmentally disabled people around us. And so it was never like a weird thing. And, you know, walking into the ADHD and, you know, in recovery and all the things that we've gotten to do together, really, you know, our stories, we've grown together, has just been really beautiful. And I don't know if you would like to share, Mom, but if you do, there's a little— Microphone down on the right corner, and you can unmute if you don't want to share. That's okay, because I don't want to totally embarrass you, but I already have.

I love that you have to give her instructions on how to talk.

This is great. I hope she talks.

I think she just, just downloaded Clubhouse, but I also do really, really want to embarrass her. And, um, it is her birthday today. It just happens to be my mom Sally's birthday, and you can thank her for Bringing me in the world. So if you guys want to unmike and sing happy birthday for her with me, I would love that. Absolutely. I'm so happy. Yay! Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Sally. Happy birthday to you. Oh, there she is. Hi, Mom.

Hi. Can— I don't know if you can hear me. I'm— I— yeah, it says I'm unmuted. Anyway, um, thank you very much. That was an honor to have you guys sing happy birthday to me. And I just want you to know that for those of you who don't know Valerie really well, she's as precious as she seems to be. She just loves helping people, you know, that's just her spirit. And, um, I'm just grateful for her, and I'm glad that she invited me to share with you guys. And that's it. Thank you. You rock, Mom.

Yay!

So yes, I'm almost 40, but I still need my mom. End of story.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

And correct me if I'm wrong, Val, but isn't she very involved in NAMI?

Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes.

I think we have a similar journey. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I know I told you.

Yes. So yeah, she's very involved in NAMI and I'm also excited for her to be on here because Polly down in the audience does a lot with dual diagnosis. So I am excited to have her in here and to share the love of Clubhouse with us as well. But yeah, so Catherine is a really good friend of mine. I've shared with her that you were a NAMI peer-to-peer advocate and all of those things.

Makes 2 of us.

Yes, yes, you guys would love each other.

Yes, I was, I was in Oregon. I was the state Connections trainer, and I absolutely loved it because I think the Connections, the way that they run the group, is it really does leave you feeling like you've learned something to be able to help yourself. And I believe it's only through people who have already experienced it that really understand what you're talking about and what you're going through. So thank you.

Yes, Sally, absolutely. When you go from your experience to advocacy, it makes all the difference in the world because now you're, you're helping others, and that's what it's all about, is helping others. You rock, Sally.

I love it. So just to warn you, our rooms— my rooms always become love fests. So we love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, because that's who I am. And that's the people we have here. And you know, that's true. I love that we're having this conversation too, because you know, let's talk resources, right? Like resources. Myself, you know, my background was that I was, you know, in a lot of pain and self-medicating and entered into, you know, the the solution of recovery. And then, you know, a couple years later, got to watch my mom go through recovery of. her own and step out and be an advocate. And I know that there's a couple people here that have done things like that. And Brian, I'm curious to know, you did mention, you know, reach out to your local state, find out what is available for you, right? SSI, like there's no shame in that, right? There's no shame in getting that support. What is one or two of the best resources that you could point us to that have helped you in your advocacy of autism?

Um, well, I don't know if there's specifically anything on the national level that has helped me with my advocacy. I would say, um, I mean, the SSI was very local. I would also say Some kind of vocational rehabilitation services can be helpful as well. I went through a couple agencies before I got to the one that I work for now. And yeah. So I know in New Jersey it's specifically called Division of Vocational Rehabilitation Services that helps point people with some kind of diagnosis to job occupations or job coaching. So, but whatever it is in the state or the country that you're in that can help with that. And of course there's some kind of office on SSI in every state in the U.S. Personally, I think the system is a little bit broken, but it can be a good tool And, and, and I say don't take that lightly because you want to be absolutely sure that the day that you go off, that, that, um, that you're going to be very successful and that you're lined up to be very successful. Because once you get off, it can be very hard to get back on. And it's already hard to get on as it is. So, so they are resources, but definitely be persistent. There's persistence even with vocational rehabilitation services. It can be a process when it comes to somebody becoming a client at the agency I work for. So yeah, that's what I would say for me was the agency I work for and the vocational rehabilitation services. That was what was helpful for me. And then the rest I just did on my own. I did— A lot of internet searching, cold reach-outs, stuff that parent many parents would probably advise against. But I, I, I'll admit I'm a little bit of a sometimes a sneaky. Or may look a little bit sneaky, but I look for ways to get ahead and then later on be able to show all the work that I did to be the man that I am today. And like everybody else, there are challenges, but—

But—

Through it all, you can get to the other side. So that's what I will leave you guys with. And I don't know how long this room is running, but I can only be in here for like another 20, 25 minutes. But, but I've enjoyed being here for the last hour and am happy that My phone held up because I was recently scared about the battery on my phone, and luckily I was able to do some things to help prolong my battery. For those that don't know, my phone is almost 3 years old, so I don't always get the next best thing when it comes to the iPhone, but it's doing what I need it to do, so I'm grateful for that. So I know I went on a tangent. I, I do that sometimes, even when I'm just thinking and talking to myself or talking to God. But that's my long-winded answer to that.

You're in a room of neurodiverse people. I think you're in good company. What is it Belinda always says? Long story— no, short story long. I love that she says that. And I want to give a shout out. Amanda said, I think we need to embrace our neurobiology. We are marginalized in society because people don't understand what autism is. Autism does not define me. It is stringently part of who I am. Then Carly said, Amanda, 100%. I agree. Absolutely does not define me. No one can tell me different. I love that. And then Amanda also said, I think also we need to embrace people with learning disabilities. That are also autistic. They are human too. Yes, yes, yes. Kindness, love, compassion— that's the language we're speaking here today. And I just want to say thank you to Brian. Thank you so, so much. I know this might have been, you know, out of your comfort zone to come on here and share as much as you did. And, um, I just want to honor you and thank you for, you know, creating this space and, and being open and willing to do this, to Step out to share your story, to be so raw and vulnerable, to be seen, to be on Clubhouse, to share your story, to you know go check out his Instagram and TikTok. You know he he's always sharing beautiful things about autism, you know, and just unapologetically being who you are. And I just I love that, right? The world needs more people like you who are willing to step up and say. You know what? This is who I am. I don't apologize for it. And you know, here I am. Let's let's be this. Let's do this. Let's have love. Let's have kindness. Let's have compassion. You guys, this has been ADHD Rise. We've had Brian Coletto here today. Follow him. Hang out in his rooms. Check out what he has going on. And if somebody wants to connect with you, Brian. What is the best way for them to reach out if they have further questions they want to ask you, or if they want support, or, um, you know, want to come along beside you? How can people connect with you?

Um, they can reach out on the back channel, um, Instagram, uh, DMs, um, They can also connect with me on Facebook as well. I just have a personal profile on there, or LinkedIn is a good place. I don't get a lot of messages on TikTok, but if we mutually follow each other, then, then we could reach out that way as well, but it has to be mutual. followers on TikTok in order to be online more. So, um, yeah, number of ways you can reach out to me. So thank you again.

Yay! Thank you so much, Brian. You are a rock star. I appreciate you so much. Thank you. I appreciate everyone. Yes, I appreciate everyone for hopping in here. Thank you for holding space for This is the ADHD Rise event. Um, let me check and see. We have—

Now one thing we might want to do, we might want to follow your mother. I mean, how exciting would that be?

Uh, follow my mom because she's awesome. Sally is awesome sauce. She lives away from me now, but that's okay. All right, so we have on This Friday, I'll go over our agenda. We have Polly A. Hey, hey, Polly A. Mr. Lucky and Sober is going to be sharing at 9:00 AM Pacific time, Rise in Recovery. So welcoming in recovery. At 10:00 AM Pacific time, we'll have our ADHD and addictions panel because it is very common for us to self-medicate. It is very common for people with ADHD to have addictions and dual diagnoses. So, um, we'll have an ADHD panel, an addictions panel. Um, we're going to have at 11:00 AM Pacific time, we'll have ADHD and Emotional Balance, and that is from our friend Chris Nitty Gritty. He is incredible and amazing. And then at 12:00 PM noon Pacific time, we will have, um, Pushing Past Imposter Syndrome. Woo! What a nice week we have coming up. That'll all happen on Friday, so tune in if you want to be in the know. Jump and click on the link above my head and you'll get the information, you'll get the contacts as it comes out, you'll get the, uh, all the goodies that are happening. And we'll have a few other things that are coming up in the works as well, a couple Zoom calls and things like that, um, maybe a heart coherence meditation as well. I've been thinking about, you know, offering that as well for just like some release, some emotional release and love and compassion for ourselves and others. So make sure that you are in the know, in the loop, and I will see you guys very soon. Thank you so much for holding space for this room, for joining in, whether if you were here in person, if you hopped in at any point. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I see you. I honor you. And again, so grateful for you, Brian. Thank you so much. And for everyone else who contributed to the conversation, I love you. Feel free to unmute and say goodbye. Love you. See you Friday. Yes. Why ADHD Rise? Why? Because when I rise, you rise. We rise together.

Together.

Yes. I love you guys. See you soon. Bye.

Bye.