Money Mindset Bootcamp Day 4 - Money Disorders- Three HUGE Beliefs That Are Damaging You - with Val

living the life that you truly desire, having the life of abundance, having the life where you realize that the world is working for you, that every situation is working for you, that, you know, there's enough. There's enough and you are enough. You creating wealth and you creating abundance and you going out in the world and making an impact and doing things that are so much bigger than you is about so many more people in your life. Because here's the thing, if you don't create wealth and abundance, And you stay in the conversation of scarcity, then what about all of the people in the world who need you? What about all the people in the world who need your impact and who need to hear your story about how you overcame? Hey, what's up, what's up, beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful, wild tribe? How are you guys doing today? Oh my gosh, I am so incredibly excited to be here for day 4. Ah, can you guys believe it? We have made it this far. If you have been watching every single day of training, then let me know. Say, Val, I've been here, I've been loyal, I've been watching. If you haven't, that's okay. Go back, check it out, watch all the days because it is absolutely freaking gorgeous and you are gonna walk away with so much. So hello, hello. For those of you who don't know who I am, my name is Val Nichols and I am Val Nichols of Val Nichols Coaching and I am here today to talk all about Money mindset. This is the money mindset boot camp. So if you're here, if you're on, go ahead and say hi so I know that you're here, so I know that you're watching, so I can say hello. If you have been here the whole time, then congratulations for making it all the way to day four of the money mindset boot camp. We have talked about all kinds of things. We have dove in deep into your money mindset. We have dove in deep into. The ways that your money mindset is keeping you blocked from creating abundance, success, and the life that you truly desire. So if you are ready to hop in, if you are ready to create abundance and to create wealth and to create all of the beautiful things that you truly desire, today we are going to be diving into 3 different money mindsets that are holding you back and how to finally break through and crack through like never before. So if you're excited for that, let me know. This is going to be beautiful. This is going to be epic, you guys. So when I talk about 3 money mindsets that are keeping you blocked, that are holding you back from the success that you truly desire, I want to let you know that money, just like any other disorder, just like any other thing that we have, is a disorder. It is a money disorder that could be holding you back from having things that you truly desire, just like anything else. You know, if there was like an eating disorder, there's anorexia, there's binging, there's, you know, there's all kinds of different things. There's unhealthy Ways that you think about money. So let's go ahead and dive into number 1. Number 1 is the money disorder of avoidance. This is where you might be avoiding money altogether. You might be avoiding money altogether. You might be avoiding your bank account or your You know, you try and get rid— you do things to get rid of cash fast. You are afraid to look at your bank account. You earn less than you need. You are afraid to talk about getting a raise. Like, you're afraid to ask for a raise. Maybe you are afraid to apply for a job that you truly desire because you're avoiding the money conversation. You're avoiding that with your spouse. You're avoiding talking about money with your kids. However that shows up for you, there is the avoidance piece that really keeps you back. This all stems from, you guys, it stems from a belief that money is bad or that having money is bad. This can happen, I've heard of super religious people thinking that in order to be humble, You have to be poor, or to get into heaven you have to be poor, which is absolutely not the case. Actually, it's funny because in the Bible, um, Jesus talks about money more than he talks about faith, more than he talks about prayer, anything else. And if you really look at what he's saying about it, that's not what he's saying at all, you guys. Like, that is not what he's saying at all. So this all stems from a belief that money is bad Or that having money is bad. This could also come from, you know, maybe if you grew up thinking that having anybody, like having money is like for, means you're greedy or means that you are, you know, fill in the blank, whatever it is that you grew up thinking. Because honestly, like money is just a neutral energy. It is an energy that we give meaning to. So what we get to do in that is we get to give money a new meaning. We have the power to choose because money isn't good or bad, it's neutral. And if you decide that money is good instead of deciding that money is bad, and you give money to those in need, or you support causes that you care about, And the goal of money, you guys, the real goal of money, the reason why it was created was simply to meet our needs. Money was created to meet our needs and the needs of our loved ones. That's it. That's what money was created to do. If money is avoided, if you are the type of person who's in that avoidance place, and again, I don't want you to have shame around this. Or have anything, any emotional tie to that. Just observe it and then choose something different. But if you're the type of person that ignores money altogether, then that really means that your needs are getting ignored too. If you avoid money, there's a good chance that you're the type of person who also puts off going to the doctor when you're sick. You put off doing things for yourself that need to be done because you avoid money altogether. And if your needs are ignored, so is your impact in the world. Let me repeat that. If your needs are ignored, then your impact in the world is completely put off. It's halted. It's slowed. So just think about that. If you're avoiding your own needs, how can you make an impact in the world if you're avoiding your own needs? Which leads me to your money mindset block. So your money mindset disorder number 2, money obsession. If you are obsessed Obsessed with money. This shows up as overemphasizing the role of money in your lives, you guys. And this can be good and this could be bad. I mean, honestly, this might sound totally crazy, but some people get their identity off of being broke, of being poor. And so if money is playing this overemphasized role in your life, then what happens is we falsely believe that money will solve or is all of our problems. Think about that. If you are overly obsessed with money, you believe that money is going to solve all of your problems. So this can show up like if you believed that if you just had more money, then you would meet the man of your dreams. Or if you just had more money, then you would go out and you would volunteer, you would serve. Or this can show up like hoarding. If you hoard money because you're so afraid that like it plays such a big role in your life. If you have workaholism. So if you have the money disorder of obsession over money, you could also overspend. You know, for maybe you are racking up a lot of credit card debt and you're sweeping it aside pretending like it's not there. When, you know, if you have like $9,000, $10,000 in credit card debt, do you realize you're actually paying the credit card company $200 to $300 a month just to carry that balance? Just to carry that balance. And if you have that, like, an abundance of credit card debt, it's saying that you probably put an overemphasis on your money, on money in your life, on what that money means, or, you know, the things that you're getting, or what, you know, having all of these things will get you. And I would almost bet, because I've been there, The bigger, better things you buy, you still feel empty inside. Then it's all about, okay, now what? What's next? Now what? And you know what this can lead to is believing that you need to spend money just to feel better. Like people believing that if they spend a bunch of money, then they'll feel better. When we talk about spending money, we think that it feels better. We think it like fills some sort of hole. And then what ends up happening is we're ignoring the underlying issue of what we think money's gonna fill, or buying that pair of shoes, or going on that vacation, or whatever. And we ignore the underlying issue, which leads to a bigger cycle of spending, still feeling empty, buying something else, still feeling empty. So it ends up being this big loop, this big circle that we get ourself in. And number 3, the last thing I'm going to talk about today is number 3. Our 3rd money disorder is the relational money disorder. It's when money rules a relationship. If anywhere in your relationships there's guilt, there's manipulation, there's self-gain, there's disempowerment in a relationship, it's It's so easy for someone to see it from the outside and be like, well, how could you get to that place? A lot of times people are like, I would never do that. I would never get there. I was a successful 6-figure earner before this time and found myself in that place. It's weird how little by little by little these things can just happen where it just— they love you or they're just trying to protect you or whatever. And then you find yourself in this place that you're like, oh my gosh, how did I get here? When we have relationship or money disorders in our relationships, sometimes we can feel pressured to give our money to our kids, or we might feel pressured to give our money to friends who need it when we ourselves are in need. Right. So this looks like the friend who keeps asking you to borrow money, And every single time they don't pay you back, or it becomes this big ordeal, and you're like, well, you know, I need to put food on the table for my kids, but I guess, you know, you feel pressured to give that money to someone else when you're not even meeting your own needs, or you're on a budget, or, you know, like you keep giving and giving, giving to someone who you know is not going to pay you back, or you borrow money to a friend and then it then causes strain. Mm-hmm. Contention and ugliness in their relationship. I can almost guarantee anybody who's ever borrowed money to anybody probably has some experience in this, in knowing that it's not always a good thing to give money to people, especially with the expectation that they're going to give it back. This could also be in relationships, like lying about your spending habits. Because you're spending to try and fill a hole, so you're ashamed of your purchases, or you're spending money you guys don't have, so you have separate credit cards or separate accounts. This could also show up as you might lie about your spending habits because that person has a lot of control, or they're going to get angry if you do things for your self-care. Any relationship will be destroyed if there's control in it. Any relationship will be destroyed if there's control over the money. When we talk about ending money anxiety, what we must realize is that money is not bad. We can use it to take care of ourselves. We can use it to take care of the needs of ourselves, to take care of the needs of others, and to take care of the needs of the world. We must realize that money is not going to fix our emotional problems. I know there's times where it feels like it might, because maybe we get some sort of like dopamine hit, or we get some sort of like satisfaction, we get some sort of like, you know, pump or joy or a temporary feeling when we buy that new car, we buy that new house, We buy that new Louis Vuitton bag or whatever it is, that new outfit, and for a temporary amount of time, we feel as if it meets our needs. But then in a day or two or next week, that excitement wears off. We must realize to end the anxiety we have around money that money is not going to fix our emotional needs. So a lot of times, most times, there's something deeply rooted in that. That's something that we go into. Very deeply into my Woman of Wealth and Worth program, and that's something that we, we look at and we dig up and we address and we heal it. You know, things that can take years and months and, you know, years of therapy to heal and fix, we are able to get to the root of that. We are able to get to the root of that and really dive deep and, you know, look at the underlying issues underneath that, and we are able to heal it in moments. What took me personally years in therapy of going, okay, let's dig this up, let's do this, let's talk about it, let's talk about it, like, you know, me and my motto in this specific coaching program that I do is really honestly, okay, so like it happened and we have the choice to stay rooted in that, we have the choice to hang on to it, we have the choice to stay stuck, Or we can say, okay, so this happened. Now, what do we do from it? How do we heal? How do we move forward in a powerful way where we can move on and be done and replace those negative thoughts, replace those false beliefs with healthy, healing, positive beliefs that are going to empower you and ultimately just lead you forward in your dreams, in your mission, in building your wealth, in increasing your confidence, in increasing your joy? And for you to know to stand firmly in the power and in the firm belief that you are wealthy and you are worthy, because damn it, you are amazing. So the last way that we talk about healing your anxiety around money is that money shouldn't ruin relationships. If you're experiencing that, I would absolutely encourage you to just, you know, first, you know, step one is to acknowledge it. Like, just acknowledge that it's there and realize that it's happening. Like, bring it to light and allow the healing love of knowledge and power to just be able to, like, realize that it shouldn't ruin relationships. Maybe something needs to shift. Maybe you need to learn how to say no more often. Maybe you need to learn how to You know, start having the conversation with your friend who's always borrowing money and never giving it back, or, you know, your friend who's borrowed $100 from you and now she's off buying a tattoo and you're like, hmm. Instead of stewing on it, it's going to help you and it's gonna heal your relationships and your anxiety around money to just like have a conversation, bring it up. Alright guys, so on the other side of your money anxiety is joy. On the other side of your money anxiety is joy. I want to promise you this. I want to tell you, you know, through my own experience where, gosh, 9, 10 years ago, I was sitting on a pile of debt that I was afraid to look at. I was afraid to look at my bank accounts. I was afraid to look at my money. Not money score, is that what it's called? No, my credit score. I was afraid to look at how much debt I was in, and to be able to come out of that and let you guys know that in my heart of hearts, I know that on the other side of money anxiety is joy. It is possible to have both. Again, this is not an either/or conversation, this is an and conversation. Yes. You can have money and you can have joy. So if you are in that place right now where you are deeply in anxiety around money, where you're in the avoidance place, you're in the place looking to heal some emotional void, some emotional hole, maybe you're in the place where you're so afraid to even look about your— look at your bank account, or you're afraid to even have the conversations about money. If you're in the place where you're so afraid of money that you're in avoidance, That even talking about it, like, brings you anxiety, then let me tell you, it is absolutely possible in your life to have money and to have joy. This is a conversation of both. It requires looking at and healing your disordered relationships with money. Money and joy is possible. It's possible. And again, we don't have to carry emotions around money that are negative. A lot of times this is coming from, you know, beliefs that were given to us before the age of 7. This is given to us by well-meaning adults in our lives who maybe passed down beliefs or passed down— we heard arguments over money, so we somehow believed that That money was bad or that we were bad if we wanted money, or we heard things like, oh, Uncle Jerry, he is so greedy, and we thought that having money must be bad. I'm here to tell you that, you know, 100% on the other side of money anxiety is joy. On the other side of healing the broken money stories that you may have On the other side of it, there's so much joy. There's so much power. There's so much beauty. There is so much freedom when you are able to meet your needs, when you're able to meet the needs of others, when you're able to open up your heart and open up your bank account to contribute to the causes and the beautiful, you know, like the charities and the causes that just call your heart to step forward and to do more and to be bigger and to be better in the world. If you want to create Impact in the world like I know that you truly desire to do, then really let it land for you. Really let it come into your idea, in your realm, in your realm of possibilities that you can have money and you can have joy. And for those of you who know my heart, you know that I'm not talking about the type of wealth that's selfish, the type of wealth where you're just hoarding it and you're going to buy yourself a Ferrari and you're just going to, you know, be out to get yours and then you're never going to do anything in the world that's going to make a contribution. This is the type of wealth that you can create where you can create win-win situations, where you can create situations that are so beautiful that you're then lifting up other women and you're teaching them that this is possible for them too. Guys, this is what I get to do each and every single day. Single day of my life. And I cannot tell you how blessed, how incredibly excited I am, and how incredibly excited I am to be a part of such a beautiful company and a world. And that, you know, I've gotten to create this beautiful coaching business where I get to teach other women how to step in their power. I get to teach other women how to take their power back. I get to teach other women how to create beautiful Gorgeous, sustainable businesses that they can make money even in the downturn. Guys, I've got to— because of money, I've gotten to provide 2 women with full-time jobs during this crisis, women who wouldn't have money. And I got to hire another part-time employee. I got to bring them into my company during this last 8 weeks since COVID hit. Guys, because of income, because of wealth, I've been able to step up and do amazing things that have impacted people in my life and in the world. And you know, like, this would never be possible if I was living in this scarcity mindset. So right now, today, what is in the gap for you? I know we talked about this yesterday, but what is in the gap for you? What's in the gap for you between living the life that you truly desire, having the life of abundance, having the life where you realize that the world is working for you, that every situation is working for you, that, you know, there's enough, there's enough, and you are enough. What is standing in the gap for you? You might realize right now today that that's you. You're standing in the gap. You're standing in your own way. And you know what? If you can take away anything from this conversation today, it's that it's not about you. This conversation we're having about you creating wealth and you creating abundance and you going out in the world and making an impact and doing things that are so much bigger than you is that it's not about you. It is about so many more people in your life. Because here's the thing, if you don't create wealth and abundance and you stay in the conversation of scarcity and you stay in the conversation where you're just making enough money To meet your own needs, then what about all of the people in the world who need you? What about all the people in the world who need your impact and who need to hear your story about how you overcame? What about the woman out there that is just waiting for you to step up in your leadership and step up in your abundance and go out there and create something beautiful so that she can hear from you because you are the I'm the only one that can share the message that she needs to hear. Guys, we are all in this world together. We are all in this together. And in this time right now where there's so much scarcity, there's so much division in this world, guys, there is a man who is dead right now because of scarcity, of feeling that there's not enough, that, you know, we somehow have to watch out for ourselves, and that there's somehow like someone's gonna get something from us, right? There's a man right now in Minneapolis, Minnesota who died because of a mindset of, I'm just out to look out for myself. Guys, in this world where there's so much uncertainty, in this world where, you know, things are not back to normal, And like, we don't even know when the next time is that we're gonna be able to all get together in a huge group. In this time when there's so much like scarcity and lack and unknown, the last thing we need to do as female leaders, because we are the Wild Tribe, we are women influencers, leaders, and dreamers, the last thing that we need to do as women leaders, as queens, as women who are paving a path, as women who are stepping out, And creating brand new things, the last thing we need to do is contribute to this conversation of lack. What the world needs right now more than ever before is women who are willing to step up and say, you know what, it begins with me. It begins with me, and today we are going to flip the script. We're going to step out, we're going to let go of our money anxieties, and we're going to step forward, and we're going to become something bigger. And better and greater, because that is exactly what the world needs at this time. I love you guys so much. I hope that you got something from this. Let me know in the comments, what was your takeaways? What did you get from this? And what is the thing that really landed for you? And I will see you guys tomorrow for day 5 of the Money Mindset Bootcamp. I love you guys, and I'll see you soon. Bye. Bye! Hey guys, thanks for watching. If you are interested in getting more information, hit subscribe below. You can also find me on my website at www.valnichols.com. I'll see you guys later. Mwah!