Overwhelm, Boundaries & Saying 'No' with Val Nichols Business Coach for High Achieving Entrepreneurs

Hey, hey, hey guys, Val Nichols here. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Val Nichols. I'm a business coach for high-achieving entrepreneurs and business leaders who really want to get out of the wondering how, the overwhelm, and into action and into making great money in their business through their passion and their unique purpose. So I'm here tonight coming at you live on my personal page. However, I am going to jump into— I'm going to share this into the 2021 Hope Business Summit. If you guys have not been a part of that, you have totally been missing out because it has been amazing, like mind-blowing. It has been so incredible. So I thought I would come on here and share this with my entire audience, not just the 2021 Hope Business Summit, but I am going to share this into that summit as well. So, you know, today I really want to talk about— or tonight, I guess— I really want to talk about I'm not usually on this late, so I get confused a little bit. But tonight I want to talk about, you know, overwhelm, people pleasing, and saying no. Are there any people here in the overwhelm who are people pleasers or have a problem or have a hard time saying no? If there's any of you here, let me know, because this is a huge part about getting out of your head, getting into action, and really getting into your purpose and your passion, right? Like, this is a huge piece of it. So first off, I just want to share with you guys what exactly is a people pleaser, right? Like, let's define what people pleasing is. And people pleasing is, you know, a way of putting other people's opinions or seeking validation outside of yourself. A lot of times this shows up with, um, you know, high achieving people are always striving, always, you know, they're never good enough. They have high expectations. Or they're always constantly on to the next thing, right? Like when I was in my huge people pleasing mode, I was very much so like, okay, so I achieved this. Now what? I achieved this. Now what? I was constantly seeking that validation through awards, accolades, perfectionism, whatever that was. That was definitely a people pleasing behavior. So I just want to define that before I jump into this. And thank you so much for the hearts. Oh my gosh! It's not telling me who's coming on, unfortunately. So I am sorry I'm not saying hello, but hello everybody. I'm so excited that you're here. And so when we talk about people pleasing, a lot of times we are giving so much to others and we're not really, you know, respecting our own needs. We're not putting our own needs first. Maybe we're putting other people's needs. And, you know, obviously that doesn't always turn out great. Right? Obviously, that does not always turn out well because it can end up leading to resentment, burnout, overwhelm, procrastination—a lot of things—or you know putting your own needs, putting your own health aside, and it can really honestly cause a lot of dysfunction and interruption in our health, in our relationships, in our businesses, in a lot of areas of our life. So that's why I'm really feeling called. to come on here and share this with you guys. So, you know, a lot of times we can find ourselves— I know in my past I would actually find myself being mad at others because— thank you so much, Bernice, for sharing this. Oh my goodness, girl, you are amazing. So, you know, I would find myself being mad at others because I was people pleasing, right? I would set myself up for resentment. I would set myself up for, you know, being in that place of anger because I was so busy people pleasing. And so what happens when you're in that type of space, when you're coming from that space, what happens is a lot of times we're like doing stuff for others expecting something in return, right? Like we're doing something, like we're doing, doing, doing, but we're always constantly kind of keeping score in the back of our mind. Like, what are you doing for me? Like, I'm gonna do all of this for you to get your approval, and then if you don't return that, or if, you know, one time you disappoint me and I don't get that approval, then I'm going to, you know, be resentful. I'm going to be mad. I'm a retreat. So there's a really beautiful side, right? There's a beautiful side to people pleasers. And when you're in a healthy balance in your people pleasing, right, like it's not always this horrible extreme. Sometimes it can be this thing where if you're in people pleasing, you know, there's a lot of nurses, doctors, coaches, healers, pastors, like there's a lot of people in the world who, you know, really they want to help others. They want to be in that space. Therapists, counselors, like they want to be in that space. Hi, Glenn! Oh my gosh, I just I saw you pop on. Hello, hello! You're the only one that's told me this popped on, so I I'll call that a god shot. So you know, like when we're in a healthy space in people pleasing, it can be a good thing, right? Like if we we want to help others, we want to serve. If you're a parent, maybe you know wanting to serve your children. If you're a pastor, wanting to serve the people that you are. You know, you're in charge of, or a doctor, a nurse. Like, this is a healthy place for people pleasing. But unfortunately, you know, just like everything else, there's two sides to one coin. So on the dark side of that, or the other extreme of that, there can be a lot of, um, you know, like a martyrdom, like doing things for others but waiting for your own return. Or like I said earlier, kind of silently keeping score waiting for that person to meet your expectations or saying yes to all the things. This was a huge, huge default of mine. This was a big character defect I used to have. I would say yes to all of these things because I was so afraid to disappoint someone or I thought I'd be fired if I didn't say yes to all of the things. What happened is I would say yes to so many things that there's no way I could ever follow through with all of it, right? There's no way I could ever meet the expectation that I set for myself. And then what happens is, you know, really honestly, your relationships, your health suffers. I know for me, it's like I would get— I get so stressed and overwhelmed, I would even get sick sometimes. You know, like, I rarely get sick, and when I'm in that space, like, I get so stressed and so overwhelmed that I literally get sick, so I have to slow down. And a lot of times, you know, in the dark side of the people pleasing, we can get in that space where we're so overworked and so overwhelmed and so stressed out, and then we're like, ah, nobody ever helps me, right? Nobody ever helps me. And that's just something to be aware of. So Bernie says, you're welcome, much needed message for so many. I'm a, I'm a pleaser learning to say no. And boundaries. Yes, girl, yes! I'm celebrating that because that's exactly what we're going to talk about next is, um, you know, the, the saying no and boundaries. And you know, it's crazy how much this message really does pertain to not only our lives but also our businesses. That's something I teach my clients to do all of the time is to keep those professional boundaries. You know, I just shared earlier I have a mastermind group with some of my clients in it and a couple of high-end people. And I was saying like, yeah, you know, we were doing time blocking, like time management and time blocking. And a lot of that really does come down to just really being selective of what you're saying yes to and what you're saying no to, because other people's urgencies are not your emergencies. Other people's urgencies are not your emergencies. And you know, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a business owner, just know that you know sometimes we need to set those boundaries. We need to set expectations up front. And let me tell you, people aren't going to meet them sometimes. Eighty percent of the time, yes, they'll meet them. But when you set those boundaries, you set those expectations and say this is the expectation. People there still will be people that want to break them. There still will be people that want to break them. I just experienced this this week, right? So there was an expectation. There was a clear expectation. Of this is the requirement, this is what is is needed. And you know, I don't know if this person just kind of thought they were gonna like slide under the rug and not you know like they were exempt somehow. Somehow they were exempt. You know, like how there can be that entitlement thing going on. And I kept the boundary. I was very firm in you know stating the expectation again and saying this is a requirement. Are you able to meet it or no? No. Okay then. All right, that's fine. We're gonna agree to part, right? And that's not something that is in my— that's not my stuff, right? And that's the thing is, if we are not— if we're caving all the time, right? If I would have been like, oh, you know, it's fine, everyone else needed to meet that requirement, but you know, for you, I guess it's fine. I'm just gonna like let you in. I'm gonna let you show up. I'm gonna let you, you know, just be in this when You have not met the requirement. You haven't. You know, I set the boundary. I could have caved, but honestly, what I'm doing is I'm doing myself a disservice because I'm flexing the muscle of being a people pleaser, right? Like I'm flexing that muscle, and I'm only saying this because I know there's people out there, and myself included, where I used to say these boundaries like half-heartedly, like oh, this is the boundary, this is the boundary, and I'd be so tough in that moment and so determined, but then like. 5 minutes later I'd back off or I wouldn't follow through, right? Like, that's a huge part of my past. That's who I used to be. That's not who I am now. And, you know, I got to hold on to that boundary and just say, you know, this is the expectation. If you can meet it, great. If not, that's, you know, that's totally okay. But, you know, in being, um, in being really like— I don't want to say like a pushover because I don't necessarily think that resonates— just not holding firm to your boundary, right? Like, I don't think it's, it's necessarily a passive thing. I think it's just when we don't hold hold firm to our boundaries, what ends up happening is we are reinforcing that muscle inside of us. We're reinforcing that belief that we're the type of person, right? I shared about this earlier in my Woman of Wealth and Worth program. We talked about how you know when you accept an identity, when you accept the identity of being someone that doesn't hold your boundaries, then what happens is you end up becoming the person who doesn't hold the boundaries. And with every action or inaction that we're taking. We're constantly like reaffirming what that identity is in us, right? On the opposite side, when we start practicing holding firm to our boundaries and really staying with it, what ends up happening is we start reaffirming that muscle and it gets easier and easier and easier. Believe me, even like a year ago today, I wouldn't have been able to stand firm and keep my boundary with that person that was trying to, you know, slide under the radar and, um, you know, just kind of get away with not doing the work or not doing The required actions, and so you know the thing I want to talk about with this is like your health and your stress. Like you can really make yourself sick, right? Hi, Kayla! Hello, my love. Hello, hello. So you know we can really make ourselves sick, right? Like when we start getting in that space of you know like not saying no to the things we want to say no to, not saying no to being around the people we want to we don't want to be around, right? Another big one for me, you know, not creating that boundary with people in our life that are very negative or are creating contention within you. I can't tell you how many times I am recreating, reaffirming, restating boundaries for myself, especially when this started. I mean, I would literally need to repeat the same boundary to certain people in my life and just say it and stand firm. Reaffirm it, say in a different way, reaffirm it, and really like hold the boundary, right? Because this is something that when I first started doing the work, of course it was really not normal for me or for other people in my life. So of course there's people who are like, yeah, she's saying that, but then we're just gonna like show up at her house unannounced anyway and knock on the door and she'll let us in. So I had to start not letting people in when they just showed up at my house. When I set the boundary Of you need to call before you come over, right? Like that kind of stuff. Was it uncomfortable? Yeah. Was it weird? A little bit, you know. But the thing is, like for me, that was important in the time of my life when I set that boundary. It was really important for me to set a boundary and create safety in my own life from some of the people. And I'm not saying that like I don't feel bad for me because I'm not a victim, you know. But I'm just saying like, you know, there was there was a certain phase of my life where I needed to set very firm boundaries. With people who'd been crossing them for a really long time. And, you know, I too, I taught them, I taught them how to treat me. So I got to reteach myself in them how to treat me as well, right? So, um, when I have 3 tips for you guys for, you know, if you find yourself in that place, if you're recognizing within you that you are a people pleaser learning to say no, or if you are, you know, recognizing some of that like Um, you know, it can show up in some kind of tricky ways, like saying yes to a lot of things, like not saying, you know, um, if your boss is always putting stuff on you or asking you to do extra tasks that you are, um, not paid to do. Another big one for me in my past, I would say no to the management position and then they'd start giving me manager. So I was pretty much a manager without the pay because I told them no. And so then they started putting tasks and duties and I would always say yes. So what ends up happening is they say they they trained they were trained to know that if I go to Val and ask her, she's gonna just do it, right? She's just gonna do it. So I ended up being in that space where time and time again, I kept finding myself doing all these tasks and duties and responsibilities that I had said no to because my bosses knew. Okay, she said no, but we'll just go ask her to do it another day and just not say manager. Like you're just gonna be doing. You're just gonna be holding the keys and you're just gonna be. You know, in charge of this. But like really what I was doing is they were kind of like skirting around it, right? And you know, this is how easy it can be. This is how easy it can be if you're constantly saying yes to so many things and you're putting off your self-care. If you're saying yes to everyone else or urgencies, you know, this can happen with entrepreneurs. I see it all the time where they're like, oh my gosh, but I have to be on social media a thousand times a day and I have to re you know respond to every message and every comment and all those things. And I'm like. Says who? Says who? I haven't checked my Facebook messages in I don't even know how long. I've never been consistent in it. I, you know, I— it's one of those things for me, like, I can't— that energy, that space. Like, I will return messages if it's one of my clients or someone, you know, that really wants to have a conversation, but I'm not at everyone's beck and call just because they can push a button and have access, right? I am plenty happy and make plenty of money without checking my Facebook messages. So there's nothing in the rule book of entrepreneurship saying that you have to be available 24 hours a day to anyone that needs you, right? And this goes with anything. You do not have to be at everyone's beck and call just because their urgency— like, if they think it's urgent— does not necessarily mean it is for you. And I don't know who needs to hear that, but that's just like This is something big that I needed to learn in my, you know, in myself, in my own business, in the evolution of growth, and also in the evolution of my business. That if you think you have to be everything to everyone to be happy, I'm plenty happy, and I'm not everyone's flavor. I'm every— I'm a lot of people's flavor, and you know, I get to attract those amazing clients that I am just like so lit up to work with, and the amazing women in my life who I get to work with, and you know, the people I get to be with. And that's, that's great, right? Because I no longer am in a place of self- beat up because someone else thinks I'm, I'm too much, or someone else thinks I'm a little too wacky on my Facebook, or they don't like that I have pink hair or, you know, peacock feathers in my ears. Like, that's okay, because I, I don't have to seek that validation outside of myself, right? I don't have to chase after all the accolades and awards, because believe me, I've got all the awards from my corporate jobs. I've got all the, you know, things on my walls showing that that's who I used to be. And that's a great reminder for me that I don't have to work for a piece of paper or a title or, you know, someone else's approval of what I'm doing. Because at the end of the day, if I go home and lay my head on the pillow and I don't feel good, I don't feel good with decisions that were a lot of times made for me, right? A lot of times when I, when I was people pleasing and I was in that space of seeking the validation, I was doing things for other people. Right? I was doing things for other people. And so if you're recognizing that in you— and thank you so much, Kayla, for the hearts. You make me so happy. Oh my gosh. So if you're recognizing this inside yourself and you're like, okay, Val, but how do I get out of this? Right? Like, how do I do this? You're saying this, I recognize some of it, but how do I actually take action? I have 3 tips for you guys that I'm gonna share tonight. Brittany says, how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. Oh my goodness, girl. Yes, yes, yes. Because You know, we can't pour. We can't give anything that we don't have, right? Like we can't. It's just it's so it's impossible. I remember when I did not love myself, and I was very much in my sickness. Like I was very sick. You know, I was in a lot of addiction and a lot of just just hangups and not liking myself. There was no way I could love anyone else because I had zero capacity to do that. I had zero capacity to respect myself. I had zero capacity to to keep boundaries. So I also, you know, walked over other people's boundaries because we can't give something we don't have. And, you know, that's something huge too. Like, I'm glad that you said that and we went on this little, like, side note because, you know, when we take away from someone, when you're bending and you're not standing firm in your boundaries, what you're actually doing is you're taking away from that person's own spiritual growth and their own experience. Right? So if you, you know, you're constantly like bending your boundaries and you're not standing firm in it, and you're creating a boundary and that person knows all they need to do is push or, you know, put a little more pressure on, or, you know, they know you're going to curve, or if you do end up bending your boundaries, then what happens is you're taking away from their growth and their experience, right? Because they may have a lesson to learn. And I'm going to tell you guys, when you start setting boundaries and really standing firm in that, Some of the people who are used to you acting a certain way, I call it your contract, right? Like between each and every single person, there's a contract. So with my husband and I, he has a way that he kind of expects and is used to me being. I have a way that I expect and he's used to being. And when someone changes the contract, right, when someone changes the contract and the dynamic in the relationship, This can happen in friends, romantic relationships, bosses. When you start standing firm, that person goes, "Oh no, no, no! This is not the agreements." I say this; you act that way. Now you're not. It's not working. The old tactics, the old buttons I could push because I installed them, right? Those buttons aren't working anymore. And so that might put them on alert, and they might get you know they might experience whatever they're going to experience inside. That could be upset. That could be. Anger. That could be, you know, whatever they experience. But really, honestly, at the end of the day, when you're not standing firm in your boundaries, you are taking away from that person's experience of what they need to learn too, what they need to learn and grow. Because let me tell you, it's in the boundaries that in my life, when I was acting that way, when I was in that behavior in, you know, the old times, and even today, you know, when I don't respect a boundary, like when I Maybe I messed up something, or you know, like I just I keep thinking about like when I used to like not show up to things, or I wouldn't call if I was going to be late. Like I definitely I learned my lesson in that, and you know my initial reaction was yeah upset or anger or whatever, but like I definitely learned my lesson in that, and I had some amazing women in my life who held me to boundaries that where I learned how to show up on time. I learned how to follow through with what I say I'm gonna do, which is like 10 years ago, yeah, good luck, right? Good luck getting me to follow through on anything. But you know, today, because I've put into practice these 3 things, like I have literally— like it's, it's a huge game changer. It's a huge life changer. Holy moly, this is so huge. I'm learning more and more every day. I'm going through this with my son. Oh. Kayla, oh my gosh, I love it, I love it, love it. Like, I mean, I don't love it, but I— you know what I mean, you know what I mean. I know you're not going to take that personal, but I love that you, you know, we're speaking to something that you're going through in real time. I mean, like, how often does that happen with you and me? All of the time, right? And, um, yeah, you know, I know I am not a parent, as you guys know that, but like, I know with kids, I mean, it can be so hard because sometimes you just want to cease fighting, right? Like, you just don't want to fight, you don't want to be in that conversation anymore, so you might just kind of like be like like, just, you know what, do it. Just do what you want, right? Like, do whatever to get them off your case or whatever. And that could be, you know, in any relationship really. But, um, you know, really what you're doing is you're proving to yourself you're the type of person that's gonna stand firm. And maybe you start out with just little tiny boundaries that you're creating, and, you know, maybe that's it. But, you know, take that action and go through with it. So the 3 tips I want to share with you guys tonight is number 1, Learn how to say no. And let me tell you, no is a complete sentence, right? I know a lot of times when you're coming off of that people-pleasing behavior, a lot of times you want to explain yourself, right? Like you want to explain why or come up with a big reason or excuse or whatever. But a lot of times just no is a complete answer, right? Like I know that sometimes, um, You know, I've said no more in my life now. Like I say no in my business more than I ever have. Yeah, I swear. Like I say no to more opportunities, more things that come my way. Because in the thing that you— when you say no, everything you say no to, you're actually saying yes to your bigger vision, right? That's why I talked about this is a huge part of, you know, really stepping out of overwhelm and being in your head and wondering how. And stepping into your true purpose and vision is saying no. Because when you say no to the things that really don't align, right, and we all, we all kind of know that. You might need to learn how to trust it, but like there's that feeling when you know something's not really right or not in alignment. Maybe it's hanging out with the people you don't want to hang out with because they drain your energy. Or, you know, maybe it's, um, you're saying yes to everything else. Every invite that you get in a social invitation, every invite you have on a a podcast interview or whatever it is, even though your, your calendar is so jam-packed that you're gonna have to arrange things and not have time to eat lunch or take care of yourself, you know, whatever that is. Sometimes when we're, we're saying no, that's a very powerful like, no, I'm not available, period, period. You know, I say that a lot, like, no, I'm not available. And I don't need to explain. I don't need to go into it. I don't need to say that. You know, a lot of times I'll even say no. Now people are they're on to me. But like a lot of times I just say you know that's against my policy because in my business you know if that's against my policy I'm just gonna stick to that right? Like that's against my policy. I'm the policymaker so I get to decide what that is for me and my business. But like if it's against my policy it's against my policy and a lot of people don't even they won't even argue that if I just say. That's against my policy. They're like, oh, oh gosh, yeah, yep, no worries, you know. And they don't even question that, right? So it's, it's a very powerful statement to say no, that's not, you know, that's not what we do, that's not how we operate. And then when that person asks you again in another way, because they will, just say no, I'm not available for that. Perfect, right? Like, it's so easy, but it's so hard to do sometimes. And so, you know, start saying yes. Start saying— or stop, I'm sorry, stop saying yes to the people, the places, all the things, all the urgencies, all the everything, and really slow down and be like, is this, is this in alignment? Is this not? Is this in alignment? Is this not? Another thing I'll do, which I know someone on here knows that I talk about this quite a bit, but, um, you know, sometimes when I'm faced with that, like that immediate thing where someone's like, can you do this? And I'm a very excitable person. So sometimes I just want to say yes. Oh my gosh, yes, let's do it, let's do it, la la la. So what I've learned to do, which a very amazing mentor of mine taught me several years ago, is to just say, hey, can I have 24 hours? Can I get back to you? 24 hours. Because then I'm not making that emotional response of like yes, no, you know, whatever that is. I just practiced this earlier today. I was feeling like I had thing after thing after thing after thing after thing, which is not the normal in my business, but right now with the summit and the auction and and everything else going on. I just have like— I was stacked, right? And someone texted me that seemed like they needed a response, and I just said, hey, here's the situation, I'm really slammed this week, can I look at my calendar and I'll get back to you at 4? And I did, and it was no big deal, right? We found a time to meet and it was, it was fine. But, um, you know, sometimes something so simple like that of just like, can I get back to you? Can I, you know, have 24 hours? Can I look at my calendar? Can I Talk to my husband. Can I, you know, whatever that is, like, just, just make sure, you know, that if you do recognize that you're always saying yes to things, just give it a 24-hour period because then you're going to have the real— you'll be able to check in and find out, like, is this really something that aligns, or am I just getting excited because it sounds fun, right? Like, is it— does it just sound like another fun thing to do? Number 2 is learn how to honor your boundaries. I say learn in a very literal sense, right? Some of us did not grow up knowing what boundaries were. Let me repeat for you in the back row: some of us did not learn how to create boundaries and hold boundaries. I literally don't think I knew what a boundary was until I was like 30 years old and I was reading this book Um, something boundaries by like Dr. Cloud or Dr. Henry Cloud or, you know, Townsend. I can't remember who wrote it, but I was like, what is a boundary? What does that mean? And what does that actually look like, right? So if you are unclear, like, you're not alone in this. I literally didn't know until I was like 30 years old what a boundary was, right? So learn to honor— and I'm saying learn Because you will, you know, you'll have a slip. You might make a mistake. You might say, oh my gosh, I told myself I was not gonna like let my kid eat ice cream every single night, and then Thursday night came and there was homework and Zoom calls and all these things, and I was just so exhausted that I was like, eat ice cream, I don't care. So just know that that's okay, but learn. You know, when we're learning, there's grace, there's, there's, there's space for making error. So when you're learning Learn to honor your boundaries, and this means that you know you don't have to respond to every single message that pops up. You don't have to you know be at everyone's beck and call or say yes to everything, especially if you're feeling pressured in the moment. If you know that you're that type of person, know that you need to walk away and maybe not have the influence of other people, right? Oh, my husband's calling me. Let me ah! My husband was calling me, and I just like had to get off the phone. I had to like. Exit off. But you know, really like know to like reaffirm your boundary. Learn how to really honor that boundary, and know that when you honor your boundaries, and I really, I really want you guys to hear this, okay? Because this is something that was really hard for me. So I know that if it was hard for me, it was hard for other people, right? Because there's nothing unique about me. I'm just a regular girl from Oregon, and you know, like this is, this is a collective thing that we, we go through sometimes. And so when you say no, when you say no, again, I want to reaffirm that when you say no, you are not responsible for other people's feelings about it. You're not responsible for other people's feelings because what will happen is, you know, people will go through what they need to go through, and there's always a lesson in that. There's always a lesson they need to learn, and you don't know— like, you don't want to take away from their spiritual experience and their, you know, true authentic lesson that they need to learn too in that. You know, maybe you need to relearn to be in relationship with someone. You know, I know this has happened for me, um, when I had friends that would kind of push me around, or I felt like I was walking on eggshells because there was like always this, um, you know, I'm thinking of one friend in particular that I used to have that like I always— I never really knew where we stood, right? Like I always— sometimes I'd feel like we were like in a fight, but I didn't know it. You know, like I would say something and I wouldn't know that we were like that there was anything wrong. And so I always kind of felt like I was walking on eggshells, right? And so when I started creating boundaries, that person was very upset with me. There was some emotional response, but we know what had needed to happen is we needed to learn how to be in relationship again. We needed to learn how to have a healthy relationship, and either that person is going to grow and evolve with you. Or, you know, you're going to learn how to really create that relationship on your own terms, or, you know, be in your— stand in your power and reaffirm your boundaries and be in relationship with them. There's always a way, you know. And this is not a selfish thing, you know, because I don't think that anyone watching this is going to have any selfish motives with that. Like, I'm going to create a boundary that you have to give me $1,000 a week. Now that one, maybe not, you know, that's probably not a good motive. But if you really truly have a a real, you know, genuine motivation in your boundary and it is something that's needed, then absolutely, 100%, you know, learn to say no was the first step. Number 2 is, you know, learn to honor your boundaries. And then number 3 is lather, rinse, repeat, because you will need to. Believe me, when you first start setting boundaries, again, you are, you know, you're kind of breaking the contract. You're breaking the expectation that other people have of how you're going to show up, right? So there might be some some backlash. There might be some needing to just repeat the same thing over again that no, I'm not available on Thursdays. I need self-care, or you know, no, I can't do that task right now. I have my own stuff. However, you know, find a solution. You know, but you might need to say that a couple times, like. No, boss, I'm not available to come in every single day on my day off. You know, they call you on Friday every single week and you're like, I'm not available on Fridays. They call you the next Friday, no. They call you the next Friday, no, I'm not available today, it's my day off. Like, just, you know, you reaffirm that. So lather, rinse, repeat. The 3 steps again are learn how to say no, um, really, you know, learn how to Value your boundaries, and then lather, rinse, repeat. So I hope you guys got something out of that. I had a feeling this was a conversation that it was just really laying on my heart tonight, and I was like, man, you know, I feel like this is a conversation that would help, would serve other people. Because you know, I know I see this a lot. You know, it comes up for clients of mine, or you know, in different areas of my life. And I knew that if I was feeling this, and you know, I was feeling the urgency to talk about this, that there had to be other people too. So. Thank you guys for watching. I love you so much. You made my night. Thank you, Bernice, for sharing this out. That just makes me so incredibly happy, and it's so good to see all of you guys on here tonight. I love you, and just know that, um, tomorrow on the 2021 Hope Business Summit— if you guys aren't watching it, let me know in the comments if you want to jump in— we are having one of my amazing past clients. Her name is Martha Nestler, Dr. Martha Nestler. She's amazing. We were going on an interview live today and it totally shut down, so we had to— we needed to reschedule to tomorrow. I also have another one of my current clients who is a massage therapist, um, and she is going to be on live tomorrow as well as, um, Bridget McGowan Hawkins. She's incredible. She is going to talk about the power and profitability of being a published author, so it's going to be amazing. And we also have our— I'm doing a fundraiser for Rock Bottom Hope. If you guys are familiar with that nonprofit, they're based right here, right in Bend, Oregon. They are amazing. Danny Looney is the founder of that. He's incredible. We're doing a fundraiser. I'm doing a fundraiser for that organization, and we have raised over $3,000 already. So I'm so excited. Just know that that's going to be open through the weekend until Monday. So if you guys want to jump in there and, you know, really like start bidding on some of those— the greenhouse, the, um, the hot sauces, the yoga classes— we have a ton of stuff in there. So, um, hop on in. Glenn says, thank you, just what I needed. Oh, Glenn, I love that! Yay! I'm so happy. I'm so happy that resonated because literally I was sitting on my couch with my dog and I'm like, huh, I'm feeling called to talk about this. And so I'm glad that you guys hopped on, and I'm glad that it resonated with you so much. And I will see you guys very soon. Bye!