THRIVE Show Feat. Valerie Fuentes - Staying Home, Healthy & Autoimmune Disease Hair Loss Aleopecia

Hey everybody, welcome to the Thrive Show where we are talking about creating a healthy lifestyle. a thriving business, and a life of intention even amidst the COVID-19 crisis. We have today a very special guest. She is a special friend of mine. We have the same name, so don't get too confused. We have Valerie Fuentes. She is a life coach, a speaker, and a podcast host. She's coming to you live all the way from the other side of the US. In Miami, Florida. So welcome.

Thank you, Val. I'm so happy to be here.

I am so excited to connect with you in this way, and thank you so much for serving in such a huge way. For those of you who don't know, Valerie just came off a huge online show that she was doing with a very special niche that she was working in. Can you talk more about that? Of course.

Um, so my 21-day summit was around overcoming medical hair loss. I am a life coach and I support women that are going through medical hair loss caused by cancer, alopecia, trichotillomania, or any other autoimmune disease. I've had alopecia myself for over, over a decade now. So it's definitely my passion to support this community. And I just completed a 21-day summit where I interview experts, coaches, healers, doctors around this topic. And it was Fantastic. Little did I know that right at the end the virus was gonna hit and our lives were gonna change, but it's still perfect. And, you know, I still want to support this community. That's truly my passion.

I love that you hit on those specific topics because that's so perfect for what we're going through right now, because I know there's people who are at risk, you know, being autoimmune disease, you're at risk. You talked about people with cancer, you talked about people with sickle cell. Like, there are people out there who are feeling this in a very real way. Are you noticing that with your, your community, your audience?

Yeah, absolutely. So, um, okay, so for everybody, everybody in the world, this is very much so known, right? And for us, it's even more, it's almost like, It's intensified a little bit because there is not a lot of research in autoimmune diseases, right? Like when you, when you're diagnosed with autoimmune disease, pretty much what you're told is your body's killing itself, your body's killing your organs, right? But there is no cure and there is no answers really. So right now we're experiencing the same thing with this virus, which is, yes, you are at higher risk because your immune system is not only trying to fight the virus, but it's trying to fight itself. But that's it. There is no, okay, you should do this, you know, to protect yourself or anything like that. So I think at this point, the anxiety is a real thing. The calls that I've been having lately with my clients have all really ended up pretty much in tears because of that. I didn't— I personally didn't have a lot of anxiety at the beginning. I didn't really think that I was at a higher risk, to be honest with you. But the more I research, the more I understand that this is a real threat. And yes, I am at a higher risk. And just, and the fact that there is nothing, I mean, the coronavirus is, it's new for the entire planet. So nobody really knows the effects of this. So we might as well stay safe, right? We should take care of ourselves and do everything that we can To, to, to protect ourselves. And that's where I'm at right now. And that's what I'm advising everybody. We should not take the risk to expose ourselves to the virus.

So what specific things are you doing personally to make sure that you are caring for yourself? And what does that look like throughout your day?

So I haven't left my house in 2 weeks almost. I, from the moment I, I knew, so okay, so it's been interesting because Miami took a long time to— I live in Miami, so it took a long time for them to give us a stay-at-home order. But I just, I self-quarantined. Like, I stay, I've been staying home for the last 2 weeks. My husband, unfortunately, or fortunately, actually, we're really blessed. He still gets to work because he works in TV production, so he is considered an essential business, so he still has to go to work. And so at this point, honestly, it's more on him, like what he's doing, than what I'm doing, right? Because I'm not leaving home at all. So it's more for him, like what is he doing when he's gone? And then when he comes in the house, like immediately change clothes, like shower, you know, Be like completely clean to be around me because I'm in complete isolation. I don't, you know, I was thinking that we were running out of groceries and I was just like, oh, maybe I get to go outside and go to groceries tomorrow. And then I was like, maybe not. Maybe I'll just stay here. You can go get groceries. I'm gonna skip that. And it's fine. I, I'd rather do that than the thought of getting sick. Because let's get real, when I get sick, it's not pretty. Viruses and things like that, when they hit me, they do hit me harder. So I'm just completely isolating myself and obviously being clean here. But yeah, I mean, obviously the hand washing, not touching my face has been a really big one for me because I'm always baking my face or the lashes or all the things. Luckily, I'm not putting a lot of makeup, so we're good on that part. But yeah, I think the hardest part for me has been like not touching my face. But as far as everything else, I think it's more at this point since I've been home, it's more about like what my husband's doing to protect me than what I'm doing to protect myself.

So I heard you say that he was changing his clothes, he's taking a shower, he's doing all these things to help keep you safe.

Yeah.

That's amazing. So what— how does that— I mean, I'm just curious for, you know, people out there who are wondering as well, like, how does that change the dynamic of your relationship? Like, how are you guys shifting together to create safety and health in the home?

Well, for starters, I insist that he should work from home. So I am really pushing for them to find a way to produce their show from home, you know, but it's so interesting because I never thought that we will be in a situation like this, right? Like, if I were, you know, you, like a regular person that does not have their husband, you know, working on TV production, you're like, well, of course we have to have TV, we're all at home. But then if you think about it, I'm thinking about not only me but all the families of his coworkers that are thinking, well, I'm at risk because you guys need to watch television. So, you know, it's like, it's almost like a conflict of interest for everyone, right? Because obviously the channel wants to continue work and I'm blessed that he has a job. But at the same time, you know, how weird is this that he's putting himself at risk so everybody has television? So what it has brought in my relationship is that kind of like, you know, I just keep— I'm gonna keep pushing for it. Like, I don't know, like, I just can't believe that this day and age we cannot produce a TV show from home. There has to be a way. I pray that there's gonna be a way.

I was gonna say, I was just talking to someone and they were telling me that Jimmy Fallon is doing it. He's producing his show from home.

But is he though? Because here's the thing. So my husband is a producer. So like talent, they get to be home and they can be home because it's just them and camera like us. But when you have to do the actual production, there are things you have to do at the studio. Oh, so maybe Jimmy Fallon can be at home, but I don't know that he's Producers are at home right now.

True, yeah, I didn't think about that.

Yeah, and also I don't know if you— I think you have been to a studio, like the control rooms and like, you know, the behind the scenes is always super itty-bitty tiny. It's not like a space where you're gonna be 6 feet apart from each other, so, you know, it's just one of those things that You're just, you're gonna do it and you're gonna be at risk and that's it. So for me personally, what I had to do is just let it go. Let it go, surrender, because I'm not gonna be freaking out for the next 2 months. I just have to let go and, you know, it is what it is and we'll see what happens.

That is great advice, I think, for all of us. You know, to kind of like really just let go because there's so much that is out of our control, which is hard, but there's so much that's out of our control.

Yes. And so that's funny that you say that because this is what I've been telling people lately about hair loss, so specific alopecia. So I was diagnosed with alopecia when I was 18 and then I started losing my hair. And then I was diagnosed at 24. And so like alopecia, or, you know, any of these autoimmune diseases, like, you don't see it coming. You don't expect that. You're not planning for it. It just happens. Just like the coronavirus. We didn't plan for it. We don't want it. We didn't expect it. And it's here. So it's really like, what do you get to control? Which is You know what I tell people, like, you can't control what happened. You can't control that you have this condition. You just have it, but you get to control how you react to it. You get to control, you know, like, what are you going to do about it? So we can, we can figure it out what we can do about the coronavirus right now by protecting ourselves, staying home, doing things that we like, enjoying our time at home, taking advantage of the time, connecting no matter what. Um, and like, honestly, the more I think about it, the similarities of dealing with medical hair loss and dealing with the coronavirus, I want to say that the list is pretty much the same.

Mm-hmm.

Because when you're going through medical hair loss, you just want to hide. You don't want anybody to know what you have. You don't want to be around people. And with the virus, you're pretty much doing the same thing. And the more— and you need connection. Like, you need connection. So like, my first thing when people start hiding because they're losing their hair is like, no, no, no, you need to connect with people. Like, we are human beings and we need that. So keep that connection alive. Like, it's like almost— it's funny because like, I will treat overcoming medical hair loss the same way we're treating the coronavirus. Yeah.

So it's like you were prepared for this. Well, you were— you— Yeah.

Well, you know, it's funny because I do feel— I don't know, but like, I'm not— I'm not— I don't think I'm struggling. I'm like, you know, I mean, we're dealing— I'm dealing with it, I guess I will say. I'm living with it, not dealing with it, but I'm living with it. I'm just like, you know, we get to control this. We get to control who we are. Like, who are we being with this? Really? Are you being a happy, joyful, you know, powerful person? Are you gonna play victim and let this virus control your life? It's that simple.

I love that because I was talking to a client earlier and she was telling me that, like, you know, like a lot of us, our businesses are on social media. And she was saying, I don't even want to be on social media because all I'm seeing is victim, victim, victim, victim. And the beautiful part of that, which I mean, almost everybody, everyone on this show has been in that mindset. We have the choice and we get to choose how we're present and we get to connect because we can have physical distance. We have to have physical distance, but it doesn't mean we have to have emotional distance.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and, and I'm just honestly, I am seeing a complete shift on the way people are being with each other. I, for instance, I created a chat with my family and we check in every day at 6 PM with my sister and my parents. We have never talked every single day since we lived together 20 years ago. You know, little things like that that are happening. It's just— I, yes, I know that there is an economic crisis. I know that people are dying. I get that, but— I wouldn't— like right now I think we need to focus on the good things that are happening, like the way, like, you know, the environment is changing, like how this is so great, like the pollution is going away in China, you know, people are collaborating, like people are stop— people stop thinking about themselves and are thinking about other people, which hasn't happened like in my lifetime, I guess. So I think there are a lot of things Good things that are happening, and I am choosing to focus on those. So really, it's like, it's our choice. What are we going to focus on? Are we going to focus on the good things, or are we going to focus on the bad things?

I think the key thing that you said that I would love for people to just like hook onto for a minute was you said, I choose. I'm choosing to focus on the good. Because it is every morning we have that choice.

Mm-hmm.

You know, we have that choice of staying in our sweatpants all day or staying in bed or not getting up and actually like working or whatever. We have the choice. And it's interesting because we— it's so easy to focus on, to choose to focus on what we don't have. But what I hear you saying is like, you know, focusing on the things that we do have and pressing in, like leaning into that beauty.

Yeah, and like I posted something yesterday, I think it's like, if you are home because, you know, mandatory order or whatever, that means that you have a home. That means you have a place to stay. That means you have shelter. Imagine all the people that are out there that don't have shelter or a place to stay. Like, we are so blessed that we get To stay home. What about all the people that don't have a home right now? That's incredible. Yeah, it is. So I don't— I just— it takes a lot for me to like, yeah, to like not get upset when I see people like being upset about this because I'm like, you are so blessed right now. You are so blessed. Let's focus on the good because we really have, like, a lot of us really have that opportunity to protect ourselves and, you know, just do something about it. There are people that don't have that privilege.

Yeah, I agree. And I think that, you know, something you hit on was perfect because of the fact that it's not even, you know, Some people are saying, well, I'm not worried about it because if I get sick, I'll be fine. Like there's that jazz basketball player who has no symptoms, but he's— he is tested positive. Right. But it's about what about the people that you don't know you might affect. We've seen it in nursing homes where— Oh my goodness, my heart just goes out. I used to be in senior living and it's like, you know, one person gets And then it's just this ripple. And, you know, we're all hearing rumors about what's happening in Italy and New York now. And, you know, it is— it's not just about us.

It's not about us. And you don't know who do people— who do they live with or what are they doing, you know? I mean, I could, you know, my husband at work, he could be talking to somebody that lives with their mom. their elderly mom. We don't know.

Yeah.

And that's what's so interesting about this is, yeah, we just have to take all the precautions. Like, honestly, the more I get informed, the more I'm supporting— because at the beginning I thought it was crazy, like people going to a grocery store with the gloves and the mask, and I thought that was a little much. But the more I read about it, we really have to take it that serious. It is that serious.

I was right there with you, honestly. Like, when I first heard this, of course my immediate— like, you want to go into that denial state of, oh, it's not that bad, it's media hype, it's this, it's that. But then the reality sinks in of, oh yeah, this is real, you know, this is real.

You know what, for me too, is that I have 3 of my 4 grandparents alive. And they're all 88, 86, and 85. Oh my god, I'm gonna get emotional. And I just talked to my grandma. She's been home for a month.

Wow.

Oh, the other thing that blows my mind, and I so have to share this, is I'm originally from Colombia. Colombia has been in mandatory lockdown for a week now. And they're going to extend it to May 31st. The entire country is already in mandatory lockdown. This is a third world country and the United States still hanging out. Why? I just, I don't know. It drives me crazy. I don't understand that. And my grandparents have been home for a month because the president, when, you know, this started happening, immediately ordered that the elderly had to stay home. So she's been home already for a month because those were the first people that were asked to stay home, and now they're gonna extend that for another 2 months.

Wow.

Yeah, that really touches me, just thinking about my grandparents. But yeah, I can't— no, just, you know, if you don't have your grandparents, do it for your friends' grandparents. Just stay home.

Really, really.

And I don't even know, you know, I'm really concerned for like, how are they feeding themselves? Because if they're not going out, then they're getting delivery. And then who's touching their food? And like, you start having like all these thoughts and yeah, it can get wild. They also control your mind.

Yeah. Definitely easy to spiral into that for sure. So I'm wondering, what is your biggest tip, trick, idea, mindset shift that you're using to stay positive, to stay confident during all of this?

For me, honestly, connection, connection, connection. I am, I, I am on Zoom meetings all day. And it really doesn't— it has helped me Just feel that everything— I mean, obviously not normal, but I don't feel isolated.

Yeah.

And I think we were talking about this at some point, that people are way more open these days. I think we're all extra sensitive, and people are more vulnerable and are more willing to share things. I've experienced that. I don't know if you Can speak about this, but I feel like I'm connecting more with everyone, just like I shared with you with my family. That has never happened before. You know, I have friends— like, this is a perfect time to talk to all the people that you've never talked to or that you haven't talked to in a while. Oh my God, I haven't talked to you in 2 years. I'm so sorry, but how are you doing? So do that. Like, this is a perfect time to reconnect with everyone. And that's literally what I've been doing, and that's what's been keeping me sane. And I just, I feel, you know, I mean, that will be my tip is connect, connect, connect. Use Zoom, whatever it is, FaceTime, WhatsApp. I don't know, video is great. We get to do that. Imagine if this would have happened at a time that we didn't have all this technology.

Hmm.

Scary times. But now we do, so it's not really that bad.

Yeah, it's like we're sitting at home, but we have internet and Netflix and all these things. Like, we're pretty blessed, like you said.

Yeah, I mean, so yeah, so to keep yourself sane, definitely connect. And to be safe, I would just stay home, really. I wouldn't, I wouldn't risk it. Or at least if you have an autoimmune disease, I wouldn't risk it. There is not enough research to determine if we're at higher risk or not, which, you know, which autoimmune disease is a higher risk than the other. I would just say autoimmune equals higher risk.

Done. Stay home. I know that there are people who are watching this right now that are going to want to connect with you, and you have a free 5-day confidence challenge coming up that I would love to, you know, put the link below if you have a link or have people connect with you. So how do people connect with you?

Awesome. So I do have a Facebook group. It's called Overcoming Medical Hair Loss and the challenge is going to happen in there. It will be a 5-day challenge starting next week, which is I think April 6th, Monday, April 6th. So definitely go into the group. I'll be delivering all the information there. You will get to hang out with me daily. I'll be doing live Q&As, all the things. And this is our opportunity to connect. I'm really pumped that we have the time to do this, and that's why I wanted to do a challenge, because I love interacting with people, and I think a challenge will give us the opportunity to interact with each other and just Really create community.

Love it. Beautiful. Where can they find you? Like website?

Okay, so my website, valeriefuentes.com. So my name and last name, Valerie Fuentes. And Instagram, I'm also pretty active on Instagram. I'm @ballerinafuentes.

Thank you so much for joining us today. It's been an absolute pleasure having you on here. And I know that people are gonna want to connect with you and learn more about you and what you're doing and what you're up to in the world. You're serving in a huge way. So thank you so much for joining us today.

No, thank you for the invitation. I'm so happy that you moved fast to do this because it is so needed and you did it at the perfect time because we're at the, you know, beginning of the crisis and, you know, to have all the tools and the information that you're providing is amazing. So thank you so much.

Thank you. All right, guys, we will see you tomorrow on the Thrive Show. Bye!