Tips of High Achieving People - Make Your Yes A Yes! Val Nichols

Hi, so I would just love to connect with you. So let me know where you're watching from and let me know all the things. Let me know, is it snowing in your area? What's going on? For those of you who don't know me, my name is Val Nichols and I'm a success coach for women. And I absolutely love to help women not only discover their hidden gifts and talents, their God-given talents, but also to uplevel in every single area of their life so that they can live a life that is Full and complete and a life that they are just so freaking excited for and passionate about because I know from personal experience that it is possible to have it all. I went from being a very successful woman who really thought that I was going to be pretty much essentially alone all my life because men seemed to be intimidated. Men were intimidated by a successful woman. and all those things, all those beliefs that we can have, to, you know, realizing that that's kind of BS and living in a place where things are just wonderful. Um, I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging when I say this, but, you know, I'm a woman who has it all, and I just absolutely cannot be any more grateful to God for providing that and to all of the people in life who have gone life who have gone before me and taught me how figuring it out and how the successful people in life, the high achievers, the ones who are willing to discover and willing to find out what it is like to have it all, those brave, bold, and courageous women who aren't willing to stop at their stopping point. Who are willing to think outside the box, and who are who are willing to just discover the inner power that is within them to be able to attract, to manifest, and to completely call in all the things in life that they are desiring. Hello, Robin! Hi, hi, hi! So I want to talk about people who are self-generating. And I don't mean this in a way— so there's a difference between being self-reliant, where you really think that you have to do everything. And if you're anything like I was in my 20s when I was a manager, I really thought I had a hard time delegating to people. I had a hard time, you know, trusting that other people would be able to do a task in a way that I thought I would be able to do better. So a lot of times what happened Is I was really driving myself to burnout. I was putting on myself a lot of things that I didn't necessarily need to take on. But when you're self-generating, you are willing to look outside the box. You are willing to take an interest and a curiosity of discovering what it is that you could do to get beyond your false beliefs. A lot of times what that works— that looks like is I will have women who do a consultation call with me and they say they're all in, they're really pumped. They know that, you know, they've been watching my lives for a while. They love the lifestyle that I have and they really want to work with me one-on-one. Usually what happens is I send them the welcome packet, they review it, everything goes great. They sign up, they work with me, and we continue that process. However, sometimes what happens is by the time they read the welcome packets, the deposit is paid, and time comes for them to start their coaching, they will backtrack and they will start believing these things that they've already convinced themselves are true, like, I can't afford it, or it's not the right time because I have this and this and this going on. Or, you know, I— things have come up and I'm not going to be able to, you know, whatever it is. I'm sure that you guys have all, you know, at some point in your life heard yourself make some sort of excuse or heard someone in your life make those excuses. So what happens with people who are highly ambitious and high achieving is they are self-generating people, meaning that sometimes they don't even know how things are going to work out. So often in my life I practice this. I have no idea how it's going to work out, but I just know that everything in my heart is telling me that this is what I need to pursue. That when I stop and I check in with myself and I check in with God, that I just know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what I need to do. And if I commit to it, I've got to fully commit. And if I'm even giving myself a tiny little bit of space to say no or to doubt or to backtrack, then I give myself 2 options. Either it's a hell yes and I'm all in, or it's a no and I'm gonna close the door and not allow myself to wander back in it later. Because, you know, a lot of times we can just waste so much time and energy in that space of limbo of knowing we want something but we're too afraid to go after it, or committing to something and then we give up, or committing to a course or a coach or, you know, whatever it is, and then we allow ourselves and our circumstances to get in the way, and we backpedal and we say no. And what this does is it just reaffirms to ourselves that we're not going to commit. It reaffirms to us that we are the type of person who is not going to see things through. And what that does is it chips away at your self-confidence. And anyone that knows me, anyone that's been following me knows that one of the greatest things I love to do is help women build their self-confidence, their self-esteem, and know that they are worthy of true and lasting love. So I want to leave you with this: Is there any area in your life where you have already worked it out on paper? Is there any area in your life where you have already convinced yourself? That you can't commit? Maybe it's with weight loss. You've, you've convinced yourself that I'm never going to lose this last 40 pounds. I'm never going to be able to make it to the gym twice a week. Never. So you give up. Is there somewhere in your life where you have been committing to something and you always back out? And so now you've realized that you have this pattern of giving up. And so you, in the inside, deep down, honestly, maybe you don't trust yourself anymore. Maybe you don't trust that you're the type of woman who will fulfill her promises. Hi, and yes, oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Well, awareness is the key. 80% of our growth and 80% of our development is just the awareness. And there's no shame in this. I just want to tweak your thinking a little bit and encourage you to step out and maybe challenge yourself in a deeper way. So how do we get beyond this? Well, I can share from my experience what has worked for me and what has worked for most of the clients I work with, because somewhere in our lives we have an area like this. So what we do is we become aware of these patterns and we can stop and we can examine them without feeling judgment or self-defeating behaviors or self-shaming. We can look at these areas in our life where we are not making our yes a yes and our nos a no and start making the commitment to yourself That if you say yes to something, that you make it an all-in yes, that you commit 100% fully. Yes, I need a win to build that trust that I'll finish, and I just had one but want more. Yes, yes, yes! I am celebrating you, Brandy. That is amazing. That is so awesome. I love hearing things like that, and girl, you can do it. I promise. So on the other side of that, I want you to also be aware of and start really paying attention to the times that you're saying yes when you really mean no. And that may look like something that you are committing to out of guilt or out of a sense of purpose, out of a sense of feeling like no one else is gonna do it, so I better step up. Or doing something, saying yes to something, and then when you're in the middle of it, you feel so resentful and angry that you said yes that you don't even have fun doing it. You get angry at other people and you get angry at yourself. So I encourage you ladies to also look at the fact of when you're saying yes and you really mean no. And if you have to take a moment, if someone's right there in your face and they're saying, hey, can you do this on this day? And you are one of those people that'll just say yes without thinking about it. Give yourself the gift of taking the time and saying, you know, oh my gosh, my calendar's at home. I have a couple things I need to run by my husband, or I have a couple things I need to consult with my calendar. Can I have a day to get back to you? It's that easy. But you guys, it might sound so hard for some people. I know there was a time in my life when that would've been very difficult for me to do. But all you have to do is say, hey, let me check my schedule, see if that'll fit. Let me check it with my priorities. Can I get back to you in a day? Anybody who knows you or is asking you to do a favor will honor and respect that. And if they don't, then that's not on you. That's something that they need to deal with. But I really want you to, to pay attention to those things. And then also, when you say no to something, make it a firm no. And this might look like the fact where maybe it's a family member. They're used to you always saying yes because they know that you'll be the one that'll step up. You'll be the one that will say yes. You'll be the one that commits. This could be a family member or a coworker, or maybe that girlfriend that, you know, always asks you to do stuff for her. And then when she wants something done, like Or you need something done, she's never around, right? We know those type. So if you say no, stand firmly in that resolve. A no can be a complete sentence. And I know for some of those people that are a little bit pushy when you say no, that might be difficult, but you can honestly just say, no, that doesn't fit into my priorities that week, or no, I have something else going on that week. And if they keep trying to push you and maybe guilt trip you or do any of those little tactics that used to work, just repeat yourself with that firm resolve of no, I have something going on that weekend. If they come back with, well, you know, I can't do this on my own and I really need you this time, but just say, I'm really sorry, but no, I have something going on that weekend. So I want to encourage you ladies. I'll leave you with this: take a look and pay attention to when you're saying yes and when you're saying no throughout the next week, and really have awareness. Oh, thank you so much for all the thumbs up! I love it, love it. Have an awareness around this. When you're saying yes, check in with yourself. And in with your body and just really like find out, does it feel good to you? And if you realize you've said yes to something that you really should have said no, do everything you can to resolve that as quick as you can. Like if you overcommitted your week and you know that there's no way you can fit this thing in, but you've already committed to bringing snacks to soccer practice and picking up all the neighborhood kids and taking them to, you know, wherever it is. You can backtrack and say, you know, I am so sorry, I overcommitted, and I know that if I'm the one that does this, it won't be successful because I have so many things I committed to and it's just not going to fit into my day. It's okay to do those things. So ladies, I want to encourage you, just, you know, really discover who you are and what you're about. Find your voice and find the courage to use that voice, because there is another woman, if not millions of women out there, who are waiting for permission to show up, to stand in their power, and to use their voice in a way that will impact the world. And I want each and every single one of you on here right now who's watching this live To be one of those women who is so strong and so courageous and so audacious that she is willing to have her yes be a heck yes and her no to be a no, because she honors herself, she loves herself, and she's madly and deeply in love with the woman that she is. This is confirmation of the work I'm supposed to be to do. So crazy awesome. Just say no and yes to you. Love it. Thank you. Oh my goodness, Brandy, thank you so much. Whenever I go on a live, I always— it's very divinely inspired, and I always just hope that at least, you know, if I can get connect with one woman and speak to one woman, then I have made an impact. So So I thank you so much for watching. I love you ladies. And if you want to see my— make sure you see my lives, make sure that you go into where it says friends and put see first so that you can be alerted when I have lives. And then also, if you're a high achieving woman who is looking to uplevel her life in her— in the area of business, career, love, life, then join my High Vibe Tribe. There's a link to it above. Just click on that. You'll answer a couple of questions and There's a ton of amazing women in there who are just waiting for you to join the tribe and to just lift you up, love you, and support you through it all. So, mwah! Thank you so much, ladies. I will see you soon. Mwah! Bye!