Tough Love- Val Nichols June 2018

Hello, Facebook Live! How are you doing tonight? So I am Val Nichols, and for those of you who are just acquainted with me or maybe have never watched me on a Facebook Live, I am going to be sharing on my personal page tonight, which is kind of new. I don't do that a ton, but I do want to just get on here and talk to you guys for a little bit. So I titled this live tonight that tough love is just as tough on the giver as it is the receiver. I don't know if you guys have ever been on the receiving end of tough love or if you've ever been on the giving side of tough love. But either way, it can be super uncomfortable, and it can be super awkward whether you're the giver or you're the receiver of that tough love. So if you are jumping on here, say hello so that I know you're here. Would love to say hi to you. And if you've never watched me before live, then let me know. I love welcoming new people. And if you are a regular watcher, would love to say hello as well. I know there's a lot of you who are in My high vibe tribe who watch and interact on a regular basis. So feel free to comment below and interact as you jump on. And if you're watching this on replay, just put hashtag replay. And I love reading your comments and everything. Also, if you do know of someone that needs to hear this like really bad, I know you know who that is because you're thinking about them right now in this moment. If they're with you, don't point them out. Maybe just Tag them in this post or share it on a page if you would like to. Feel free. I would love to reach as many people as I can with this message because I think it is super, super important, and I think it is super, super valuable for a lot of people out there. So the reason why I'm talking about this today is because I was recently given the opportunity. Opportunity to give some tough love to someone. This is a woman that I work very closely with. Excuse me. I have been working with her for almost a year now, and we have a very close coach-client relationship. And here's what happens. I have seen this woman at her best. I have seen this woman succeed and excel, and she has had great confidence in her life. I have seen her in the moments where she is having strong victories, and I have seen her in moments where things are happening where it's just like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Great things happening all over the place, and we are celebrating her, her and her accomplishments and what's going on. So recently, what's happened is I've seen her in a place that is is where she was at was way all the way up here. But there's something happening. You know, there's been some events in her life. Hi, Dana! Hey, girl! Mwah! So glad that you're on here and you can join us. Um, so I I'm talking about tough love, and I don't know if you've ever been through this, Dana, but. There are times when you have to either give or receive tough love, and it is—it's really, really hard whether you're the giver or the receiver, and it's just kind of awkward, and it's kind of you know it's uncomfortable. But I was given the opportunity recently to give some tough love to someone who I absolutely love and adore, and just oh gosh! I just love this woman, and I realized that the reason why. I was so upset by having to give her this tough love was because I was, I was afraid. I was afraid that she was going to be mad at me because I value our friendship and our relationship so much. But what has happened is I watched her going from this absolutely just wonderful, exceeding, excelling, high-level, high-vibe woman to all of a sudden she was operating at this frequency that she was just— she was not operating at her highest level. And so what happened is we had to sit down and I had to have a really honest conversation with her where I got to add value and give her input on what was going on. You know, I got to really just give her the information about what I had experienced with her and how happy and how exciting it was when she was operating at that really high vibe level. And I got to sit down with her and share with her the experiences that I was having with her in these these moments where I was just really really concerned. Hi, Lindsay! Oh my gosh, we're blessed with Lindsay Adamson right now. Hello. So I got to sit down with this woman that I've been working with for almost a year, and I got to give her the information that I was noticing that her her level of willingness. And her level of just joy and her level of exceeding has just really gone down. And she got to this point where she was just not operating at that high vibe level anymore. And honestly, it was just— it was really disheartening to have to sit down and give her this information because I was terrified. I was scared. I had been rehearsing this conversation for days and weeks, and I was Putting it off, and honestly, it ended up being the most valuable things we could have ever done. Because what happened is all of the reasons why I thought she had been not doing the work I was giving her, and all of the reasons that I thought maybe she was putting things off, and all of the things that I thought she was going to say to me, and all the reasons why I thought she was going to be upset with me, ended up not even being. An issue at all whatsoever. And I will tell you the level of just freedom that I felt in that moment of being able to give value to another woman of the things that I'm observing, because that is what this woman is paying me for. She is not paying me to give her rainbows and sunshine every day. However, That is something I exceed at. That's one of my spiritual gifts. I am an encourager, and I love just rooting people on. I'm your biggest cheerleader. I'm your best friend. However, when we get down to the nitty and gritty, what's really going to bring people the most value is when we are able to come to them in a loving and caring way and share with them The experiences that we've had when they're operating at a high level, and then reflect on them and give them valuable feedback when you notice that they are slipping into patterns and behaviors that may not be the ultimate success for them. So this conversation was really hard. I had to give some tough love. But what ended up happening is we were both able to walk away with dignity and respect for one another, respect for ourselves. And something even more valuable that I got to walk away with was I got to remember that I am a woman of integrity, even when nobody's watching. Even when it's just me and someone who I value and I'm close with, that I could have never had this conversation with. But had I not had those conversations and said the things that I truly felt she needed to hear, I would have been doing a total and complete disservice to her. And what happened is she was given the tools she needed to either apply. I mean, she could have just told me, um, I don't care, I don't see what you're talking about, I don't understand. But what ended up happening is we were able to sit down and we are able to map out a game plan of how are we going to get you back to the succeeding level, how are we going to get you back to this high vibe level that you were operating at 3 months ago, maybe even 2 months ago, and we were able to backtrack and come up with a game plan and set tangible goals that she can reach and achieve starting today. And so we were both able to walk away feeling good, feeling valued, and feeling heard. So I would encourage anyone who's out there today I know that there are some of you out there that are feeling, you know, you need to have that tough love conversation with someone, and I know you know who that person is because you're thinking about them right now as we speak. Or maybe there's a conversation you're avoiding having a conversation with someone because you know they're going to dish up a little bit of tough love. I just want to encourage you that no matter what happens, there is a lesson to be learned, and there is valuable information that will be given, and there is valuable information that will be received. And hopefully, if that person is mature enough and ready to receive or give that information, then this conversation is going to go amazingly well. And you will both walk away feeling valued and heard. So Lindsay says, love you so much, and I love watching you in your flow, in your zone, and to see what amazing coach you are to your clients. Well, thank you, Lindsay. Oh my gosh, that just touches my heart. And you are an amazing coach to me as well, Lindsay. So I just want to give you a huge shout out and thank you for that. So ladies, I love you, and if you are a high vibe woman who is ready to meet your tribe and connect with high vibe women who are as amazing and powerful as you are, then I would love to invite you to my High Vibe Tribe. It is here on my— I believe right above us. If you look, you'll see the High Vibe Tribe. You can click on that and click join. Sorry, gentlemen, it is for the ladies only, but that is because it is a very valuable, secure, safe space for women to just— who are looking to uplevel their life In all areas of their life, so I will meet you there. Go ahead and press join and answer those couple of questions that are there, and I would love to see you. I do go live on there quite a bit, so you're going to see a ton of valuable information and one-on-one coaching. And Dana Ray says, "I totally need you in my life." Oh, I need you in mine too! You guys, I just want to give a shout out to Dana. She is amazing. I literally just met this girl like Saturday, I think, and I'm already in love. She has this amazing little girl and she is doing so many amazing things in her life to bring herself a better life and to create a better life for this beautiful little girl that she has. And so she is amazing. Give her some hearts. She's wonderful. And I'll see you tonight too. So Anyway, I'm gonna jump off. I have to get to a speaking gig that I'm doing, um, and I just want to tell you guys that I love you, and I will see you next time. Bye!