Fearless Fridays - Hidden Battles

Ladies and gentlemen and gentlemen, gentlemen, welcome to Fearless Friday with your hosts Vanessa Lindsey and Sydney Johnson, empowering to live fearlessly through authentic conversations that inspire purpose and action. I'm your resident DJ, DJ Rudy Wood, and I hope you enjoy the show.

Well, good morning, good morning, or good afternoon out there on the East Coast. Hey, you got your guy, Sidney Johnson. Lord, this is going to be a magnificent day today, and I'm so, so excited. Look, guys, so you do not get confused, I have online Vannessa and Vanessa. So for the day's purposes, right, the lady in the middle, in the center of it all, is Vanessa Mitchell. And then, you know, you got— I got my girl, my co-host, Vanessa Lindsey. So listen, Special for the day, and let me just take it back some years, some years. I, Vanessa, I actually even remember when you guys was in Alaska, if I'm not mistaken.

Yes.

And I remember calling Mike one time, and had to be every bit of probably two o'clock in the morning because he sounded not too happy when he answered the phone. But he he stumped me stumped me for that minute. So listen, guys, Vanessa Mitchell is none other. And the beautiful wife of Michael Mitchell, one of my childhood friends back from the day of Spring Lake North Cackalacky, and along with the rest of his family. And, um, hey, it's just wonderful having you on today. The reason why she's so special, folks, is because of her journey, and you'll get to know her journey today. And a part of that is the fact that her and her partner Jeanette run what we call the The Flow Authentically relaxation system. They are— and she'll break it all down to you, but it's like going to a spa both in your mind, in your spirit, and inside your heart all at the same time. In fact, even while I was doing some of the background and everything, I had got so relaxed just reading and looking at what the ladies was going through. The first thing that came to my mind was, Kathy, baby, I'm about to pack your bags. You are going to Georgia and you're going to be out there relaxing, Sitting on top of the, um, the pool on your float meditating and just relaxing and thanking God for all that is all at the same time. So none other than the lady of the hour, we have Vanessa Mitchell. Good morning, Miss Vanessa. Good afternoon. Hello.

This is so amazing and awesome. Thank you for, uh, this opportunity. Thank you for this opportunity. And, um, so I guess Uh, to start off, um, one of the questions you asked me, you know, who is— who am I?

Who— Who are you?

Who am I?

Tell us.

And, um, without all the titles, um, wife, mother, hairstylist, entrepreneur, co-founder, um, I would simply say that, uh, I'm a woman who loves deeply, um, a woman of integrity, um, compassionate, caring. Um, spiritual. I value peace, uh, truth, growth, and meaningful connection. So, um, and one of the things I learned through my own, I guess, know thyself journey is that who I am is much deeper than what I do.

And so with all that you do and all that you are, how do you keep that peace? Because that's a whole lot of stuff you got going on there.

That's a lot you got going on.

There's a lot going on.

We can appreciate Yes, yes.

So what's— how does that peace look like? How do you keep that peace, and what do you do to get that peace?

Um, well, you know, peace is definitely something that comes from within. Um, a lot of times we are looking for peace, um, outside, externally, but it definitely comes from within. And so doing the work and understanding, um, that balance It's totally required. It may be work, but the work is worth it when you can finally find yourself in a place of joy, which is also something you intentionally and purposefully seek. But peace is that thing that when you have done some work on healing, um, the mind, body, and spirit, it is something that you just don't really want to go away from. It, it becomes the, the new normal.

Yes. And so if you have someone who's overstressed, what does some of that work look like? Because sometimes when you say that work, you're like, oh my gosh, I got a whole lot to do. So what does some of that work look like? What are some things you would recommend?

Um, I think first of all, and we'll talk about this, The first thing that we have to become is aware. I think awareness is the beginning of transformation. Knowing that you are overwhelmed, you are full of anxiety. I think sometimes we— that becomes normal. It's a natural thing because we are in such survival mode. And we've been in survival mode for so long that it's It's natural for us. And so at some point, we have to get to a place where we can say, this is not— this doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. And when you get to that, this doesn't feel good. But you can only get to that point when you become still. And some of that work is what we do is breathwork. And because this is the beginning of the of the show, we could, we could do a little bit of breathwork if you like.

Okay.

Just to get— have an idea of, um, what it feels like to slow down.

Okay, that'd be nice.

And, and, and, and kind of feel some of that peace.

So that was wonderful. Yes.

Okay, so, um, from there, so we can just kind of— and I invite everyone who's watching, um, into a very simple, um, breathing practice called box Breathing. One of the things we practice through FLOW, Faith, Love, Oneness, Wellness, is awareness and presence. Our breath is one of the simple ways to bring our attention out of everything that is happening around us and back into this particular moment. So box breathing follows 4 equal parts. We inhale for 4, we hold for 4, and then we exhale and hold again. So today we're going to use the count of 4. And so if your feet are flat or wherever you are, your spine is straight, your shoulders are relaxed, spine is lengthened. Unclench your jaw and simply notice your breath. Let's begin. Inhale for 4. 1, 2, 3, 4. And exhale. I'm sorry, hold for 4 at the top. 2, 3, 4. Exhale. 1, 2, 3, 4. And hold. 2, 3, 4. Again, inhale. 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. And hold, 2, 3, 4. Last time, inhale, 2, 3, 4. 2, 3, 4. And hold. 2, 3, 4. And now allow your breath, your breathing to return to its natural rhythm. Notice how you feel. Notice your body. Notice the present moment. And that's what basically breathing will do for you. But a lot of times we don't know how to breathe. We breathe, we don't, you know, we don't— it's our bellies should be expanding when we inhale.

Mm-hmm.

And it should be falling as we exhale. And when you're not breathing properly, it creates blood pressure issues. It, it literally stops the energy from flowing throughout the body. It stops oxygen, which can cause Sickness. So taking up— taking the time to breathe is very, very important.

And the one thing you mentioned that was really important too is that we don't know how to breathe. We think we know how to breathe, and then sometimes when we— you say inhale, we put here, inhale, and then our stomach goes in, right? But it's supposed to be the opposite, like if a baby's breathing.

Yes, yes. But no one teaches you that. And so you can, you can do that by putting your hand on your chest And putting your hand on your belly. And what's in your— when your belly is— when you inhale and we think the belly is expanding, but it's coming from a diaphragmatic— your diaphragm. So as you inhale, feel the belly rise. And then as you exhale, the belly falls as well as the chest.

And is that something you think about? That it's not— we would think it's natural, but you really have to think about that.

Exactly. And that's why The breath and keeping your mind on your breath, it takes your mind off of all the other things that's going on outside of you. Exactly right.

That's right. You're focusing on that.

That's right.

Imagine, because when you listen to yourself breathe, you will literally have to intentionally block off outside noise. I was watching a show the other day and they was put in a place where there was absolutely no sound. And that can be disturbing.

Yes.

To the spirit when you're used to nothing but the noise of existence as opposed to the peace of tranquility and to be able to become very relaxed in your state of being and getting to know yourself internally. So this is really good.

This is really good.

Yeah.

Taking that time to do that again. You have to be aware to even pull aside. Yeah, to even just be still. Um, so when people say just breathe, um, they're literally just saying, you know, pay attention to the breath and calm. It just calms you down. It takes you from a place of anxiety to a place of, um, rest and relaxation.

So I know with the podcast, we probably— we did, um, what, 3 or 4 rounds of breathing? How many rounds of breathing do you recommend to be done?

Right. That's good.

Yeah.

Okay. You could do that for— first of all, once you start, we only did a round of 4. It can go up to inhaling 8, but you have to work yourself up to that. So I would say, you know, starting off in the morning, if you can do about a good 3 to 5 minutes, of breathwork, um, will take you a long way. And then as you go through the day, if you want to pull aside to do that, you could do it as well until you work your way up. Okay.

And you know, one thing we didn't get to is how did you get into this? What made you decide to get into breathwork? Tell us a little bit more about— matter of fact, you said something, I was like, well, what does that mean? What the acronym— you said FLOW. What's the meaning of FLOW? What— tell me, tell us about FLOW.

Um, okay, so FLOW is, um, a community that my friend and business partner Jeanette Jackson, who also is the owner of Weathered Not Worn— Um, I was—

shout out to Jeanette!

Shout out to Jeanette.

Weathered Not Worn, I like that. Okay.

Weathered Not Worn, yes. Um, so I was a customer initially, um, for years, and, um, we— I, I had made an appointment, um, because she's She sees you privately. She sees you privately. So, and we had a conversation about health and wellness. She had just came out of the school system. She was an assistant principal and starting her, you know, her business full-time was somewhat wearing on her. And she just asked me, what are you doing? You know, what are you doing? So for me, I'm 56 years old. And she was like—

Go ahead.

She was like, okay, I need to know, when you come in here, you're— or when I see you, you're always peaceful, your skin is glowing, so I need to know what's going on. And that really started our conversation. And I invited her to This thing that I was doing, I had started, um, it's called Soul Searching Saturday Conversations. And, um, and you talk about Fearless Friday, I had held on to that for 2 years and finally decided to, um, go for it. Let's just see. So Soul Searching Saturday Conversations happens on Saturday morning at 6 AM.

Wow.

When people want to sleep in. When people don't want to get up. And, um, I think maybe a couple, a couple of months had gone by, um, she showed up. And when she showed up, um, she's, she's been there ever since. And this has been— we've been doing this for about 4 years, 5 years. Wow.

Is that something that you do online? So if other people wanted to show up, they could show up?

It is virtual. And we have made that a part of Flow.

Okay.

Um, so that happens every Saturday morning at 6 AM, where a group of women of like minds come together and we share topics and we conversate about things that help us become, uh, who we have been really and truly called to be, um, the very best versions of ourselves. We go deep. Um, you know, we ask the hard questions, and, um, that's something that she joined us on. And from that moment forward, uh, we have been connected. And so she literally was sitting on the beach one day and asking some questions she had gotten still, and FLOW came to her— Faith, Love, Oneness, Wellness. And so we basically—

Faith, Love, Oneness, and Wellness.

That's powerful.

Love, oneness, and wellness.

Okay.

Faith gives us something to trust, someone beyond ourselves. It gives us hope and reminds us of where we are today and where we don't necessarily have to remain. And then love, Love is what binds everything together. Love of self, love of one another, and compassion, and basically, and truth. And then we have oneness, which is the connection part for us. It's becoming one within ourselves, where our thoughts, values, and actions begin to agree. It's also recognizing our connection to God, to one another, and to something greater than ourselves. And then we have wellness. And wellness is what we— is wholeness. It's wholeness. It's how we nourish ourselves, how we move, how we think, how we rest, how we manage our emotions and care for ourselves spiritually. spiritually. And, and basically, um, those are some of the things that we— um, all the things we talk about on Soul Searching Saturday Conversations so that we may move into a place of authenticity. Um, and so, um, that's— so yeah, we started Flow and we've been flowing ever since.

Okay, so Flow was literally a rescue center, you know. Now let me tell you this, I mean, the way you're bringing this right? And that vibe with it. There's a place for you globally.

Oh.

Listen to me. There is a place for you globally. The daughters that I have online with me right now, they're looking at me and they're listening to you. They come from— they say, hey, daughters. Y'all say hey. So, um, um, one of them started off just as my linguist, and she was just a little young lady. So when we did the child rescue and I had to interview the girls so they won't be intimidated, I put them outside in a very natural environment. And we had a tree in the schoolyard that had flowers behind us. So that's the perfect spot. Well, Zainab would sit right beside me. And then so she would speak to them in Maasai, what we call ma, a ma.

Mm-hmm.

And then the children would answer back, but it was an easy flow. And I didn't lean in. I did my posture. But a part of what we was doing there also was a form of yoga that another friend of mine, he's an ex-US Marine, and he was embedded with us. His name is Andrew. He's in Fayetteville, matter of fact, area right now. And him and his wife, who's Kenyan, about to go back. But he would do yoga with the kids just at the point of— because the children that we was rescuing, they had preconditioned stimuli. I mean, they had PTSD for real. FGM, female genital mutilation, and forced marriage. And so we would, you know, try all types of stuff, right? But I'm telling you, there is a place for you globally. And flow can literally flow. And as Dr. Carr says, streams from the river.

Mm.

So there are streams that I see you're going— you and Jeanette will be able to expand upon. Even if it's just online, you know. So yeah, this idea is coming to me right now because it's just, that's what it is. And I come from that very stressed type of environment. And we think if you don't watch it, you think something's wrong with you. Yeah, something wrong with you.

Oh, something's wrong with all of us. Stress is so real for all of us. It's regardless of where we come from, some way, shape, or form.

That's why I call her a rescue. What you got going on literally is a rescue center. Also, I was online yesterday with a friend of mine named Zochi Young. I hope he's listening. When I called him, I didn't know if he was in the States or not. He happened to be in Nairobi, but he does missions back and forth to Ethiopia doing the same thing, because the whole concept was to rescue ourselves and get to know who we are through a flow process.

That's a flow process.

And here it is. You got it.

Yes.

So this is not new, I know, but— and I'm going to belabor and move back. But yeah, I mean, like I told you yesterday, when just going over your, your, your site, I started feeling relaxed, you know, and then me and my wife started having conversations early in the morning. I woke her up with the conversation. So we thank you. We do thank you. Our community thanks you.

That vibration through the website, just the vibration coming off of this website.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And that's the thing, because we're not necessarily— we're not seeking perfection. We're just creating a space for wholeness. Because a lot of times people think they got to come a particular way.

Absolutely.

That's not the case. And I think when we talk about FLOW, faith, love, oneness, and wellness, I think one of the questions was, How does surrender differ from giving up? Because sometimes we get in a state, again, where it just seems normal that I'm in a state of survival mode. And that question I thought was really amazing.

Yes.

Because giving up, when I thought about the question, giving up means you shut down. And to me, surrender requires strength. Where people may think that's the opposite. So surrender says, I don't have to force this. I can become still enough to listen. Because we don't— we're not still enough to listen, to trust, and to discern my next move. Surrender isn't necessarily inactivity. And when you think of yoga, you think of the stillness and nothing's happening, but everything is happening.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, the fascia, you're stretching, the body is stretching, you're allowing blood to flow throughout. You are taking your mind off of the outside to the internal part of you. And so sometimes surrender tells us to be still. And sometimes that, that stillness gives us clarity again to move. Surrender leaves room for possibility, and giving up, giving up closes the door.

And so is there a general way you walk people through that? Because when you talk about surrender, sometimes where you're telling people give up everything you know, everything that you've been through, everything in your life. So is there a slow process? What type of things do you take people through? Because I know you just automatically say just surrender. It's like, what, you're telling me to change my whole being? Right. And so how do you— how would you walk somebody through? I want you to surrender. I need to let this go, but it can't happen overnight.

And what are you surrendering to? You know, what, what are we— what are we surrendering to? What's your— give us the baseline. Walk us through that process.

Well, um, and so when we're— so, and we do a lot of this again on Soul Searching Saturday Conversations. Um, these women have been through, uh, with us. Um, they started, and a lot of them— okay, I'm not a morning person, I don't do morning, but they come and they get hooked. They do not— they show up.

I mean, look, I've seen your groups, I, I get it. And it was every shade of— it was every shade of what we are, and they was lined up. I mean, for real.

Oh, we had to check this out, and it's awesome. So So basically, again, you cannot rush the process. And that's what I love about, again, surrendering. And what we don't want to do is move— and when we talk about authentically flow authentically, a lot of times we look at authenticity as, you know, you be real, you say what you got to say and all of those things. But really, that's from coming from a place of being. Wounded versus being healed.

That's right.

When you're healed, um, you don't want to be mean, and you, you get to, you know, uh, watch your emotions. You get to be kind. You get to do those things versus, uh, showing out. You know, we call that authenticity, but really and truly, authentic— authenticity is not walking from a place of wound— woundedness.

Yes.

Is walking from a place of healing. And so that can take a minute, um, and we allow that moment to actually happen. Um, so, um, being able to communicate, you know, about it, being able to look at those things, um, that may cause you to be uncomfortable. Because one of the questions— I think that's at the— that's one of the things you asked was, you know, when did you become fearless? Or what was the thing that you— you know, it's when I decided to be— to heal.

You got to make a decision.

And you got to make a decision because now I got to look at things that I didn't really want to look at before, right? I gotta— I gotta look at maybe some things in my childhood that I didn't want to look at. I mean, me, myself, I've— you know, I watched my mother get shot and killed. I was raised by my grandmother.

Jesus.

I got pregnant in high school. You know, then when I got married, I didn't even know what— how do I be a wife, right? I had questions that I needed answers to. And so going through those— going through that process of wanting to be the wife that I was pretty much called to be, the mother, the granddaughter, the sister, required me surrendering to— Not living from my past, but being okay to look for something new, change my way of thinking, change how I saw things. Um, it just becomes a whole process. And, um, and that's the thing that brought me peace, because so many times we are living from, again, yesterday, all the things from yesterday.

Yes, yes.

That I can't even I can't even function well. I can't even hold a good conversation, or I'm too busy looking at, um, other people and what they're doing.

Um, and that brings on trauma itself. That keeps having you revisit that trauma. It's like, quit looking through the rearview mirror. Let's keep driving forward, you know? So yeah.

So let me ask you this right here, um, Vanessa. Um, when When we say we got to give ourselves permission, does that also mean that we have to call the demon what it is? The, the, uh, we have, like they say, okay, let's talk about 12, um, the 12-step process, um, alcoholic from the basis. And most models, that model works simply because the first thing you have to admit is what you really are.

Exactly.

So what are, what are we admitting to? Who We are when we have so many divisions about ourselves and so much forced upon us in our life. Where did you find self at to call it what it is, then turn around and give— once you find potentially who you are, to give yourself permission to walk out?

Well, my journey started, um, in the scriptures, you know.

Wow.

Because, you know, I did have some models. And, you know, I had my Aunt Pearl who basically told me I could do anything, be anything. We always need an Aunt Pearl. But when I started reading, and studying, I was like, my life don't look like this.

Hmm.

You know, it gave me some, you know, it created a standard for me. It created for me, like, even when I thought about being a wife and when I saw that, I was like, no, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. And so, um, I decided to do the things You know, um, honor and respect of my husband. You know, what does that actually look like? We read it, but we don't even know what it is to honor and to respect.

That's good.

Um, you know, so, um, when it talk— I mean, I remember a time when I was, you know, being still, praying for my son, and I just remember, um, the, you know, loving him And what did, you know, what did that look like? And all of a sudden, it came to me that I was keeping score. I was keeping count of all of his wrongs.

Oh, wow.

And so I had to apologize to him. He was probably 14 or 15 years old. But having that thing, something to create a standard for me as to what I wanted to look like and wanted to become.

Mm-hmm.

Um, now mind you, you got to do it.

You got to do that work you were talking about. Got to do that work.

My wife says all the time, I put in the work. I put in the work. Put in the work.

If you ain't put in the work, you can't, you can't claim it.

And you can't expect it to happen overnight because it took you so many years to get to where you are, right?

Yeah, you can't claim it if you ain't put in the work because, as I always say, you're placating. So placating is just my word, but it's a Sidneyism, as my wife would say. But it's meaning that you didn't really put it— you didn't— you don't have the— you don't have those markers of enduring sweat, pain, and tears in the quiet, in the midnight hour. Late in the midnight hour. They don't know what you went through, but you have to know what you went through. And if you ain't going through nothing to get through your glory, then we can't— you don't really have nothing to talk about. You're gonna sound like the rest of everybody else.

That you're gonna— Correct. And correct. And so, you, you know, I love, love, love to read. And, um, I love to read, which is a lot of information, but it doesn't become wisdom until you actually experience and do the practice of it.

You practice, implement it. You got to implement it.

It's practice. It's doing the thing over and over again consistently.

Like on-the-job training, right? You say put the work in. You're okay. You just now started your on-the-job training. You got to keep doing it.

Yes.

And so you're always an apprentice at some sort of level. You stay apprentice-minded because if you don't have the humility of being an apprentice, then you can never be the master. You just, you got to have that humility, you know.

You have to. And I think that's the whole, the thing is that I am a forever student. I love learning. I love, um, you know, wanting to, you know, take it to the—

whatever.

What's the next level? What's the next level?

So speaking of that next level, so we talk about meditation, we talked about breathing. We hadn't got to the meditation yet. We talked about breathing and we tapped on a little bit of yoga. Oh my gosh, I did yoga once and ended up in the chiropractor for 6 months. I was like, oh, ain't doing that no more.

Tell the truth. Tell the truth.

The overachiever that I was, I was just like, I could do this.

I was doing my bending and whatnot.

And this is, and this is the thing too about yoga is, um, and what I love about yoga and what I share is that when you're on your mat, that's your mat. See, a lot of times we get caught up by looking at everybody else and how they touching their toes. And really and truly, the humility is when you can go as far as you can go Without, you know, feeling any pain and not being concerned with what they're doing over there. So, you know, I don't have to touch my toes to create—

That's good.

Some stretch, you know what I'm saying? So it's really staying on your mat and staying within your range.

Staying on your mat. I could run with that right there, Vanessa.

Stay, stay on your mat, your lane, on your mat. And because really and truly, when you do— when you're doing yoga, you don't have time to look at other people. You're so focused on alignment. And I think sometimes when we try to do it on our own, we get out of alignment. Um, and that's where the, the, the, the hurt comes in and the pain comes in.

And so when it comes to— well, let me ask you, what's— what is the benefit of yoga?

Oh, The benefits of yoga, there's so much. So first of all, yoga is oneness, yoking mind, body, and spirit together. It intertwines. We do hatha yoga, which is breath and movement flows together. Normally when you're inhaling, you're expanding, and when you exhale, Mm-hmm. And we talk about that. So just the fluidity of the energy and the breath that goes throughout the body is creating healing. The ability to stretch and be limber, that's, you know, the physical aspect of it, because you want to be able to get up and down as you get older. So then just the mental aspect of it. Again, the concentration that you achieve when you are in a particular pose, or even if you're just being still in mountain pose. People think, you know, mountain pose is just you're standing there with your arms, you know, down. But there's a, you know, there's engagement happening. Again, you're still, but engagement is happening in your calves, your thighs.

Mm-hmm.

your core, your shoulders are relaxed. Um, and then there's a spot, you know, you know, that, that, that, uh, energy or that, um, oxygen that goes through from the crown of your head all the way down to your spine. It just, um, it, it, it also helps with aging.

So because the blood flow—

Yeah. I mean, I mean, so it is overall, it's, it's just good for you.

And so is it something that, I guess, all ages could do yoga from the newborns to all the way to the— yeah, like they say, cradle to grave.

So the babies are doing yoga and they don't even know they're doing yoga. We have the baby pose, we have child pose, we have the, you know, we have all these different poses that we got from the babies.

Ah, okay.

That brings on the relaxation of the nervous system.

Yeah.

And so all ages, you can do chair yoga. You don't have to, you know, when my grandmother was here, I tried to do some chair yoga with her and she did it for a little while and then she said, baby, just, mm-mm. I like, I'd rather move a little bit. You know, it was somewhat too slow for her. But, you know, she tried it and she did it. But it's just good for all ages.

Now, is there, is there a time limit that you should put on yoga? So I'm saying I'm at work and I'm stressed, there's so much going on, I'm, I'm gonna go breathe, but I wanna— is there just certain poses that I can do? Can I do it for like 5 minutes, or is it something that I need to really—

that's structured? Yeah, a death side workout, death side yoga.

So, so, I mean, yo, see, you know, so we're looking at the practical side of yoga or the physical side of yoga. Whereas, again, breathing is yoga. The breathwork is yoga. So even if you sit in your chair and you lengthen your spine—

Right now.

And your feet are flush to the ground, you're being grounded. And placing those hands in your lap and just taking a moment and you shut the eyes down and you relax yourself and you simply breathe. But if you do need some movement, hands overhead, you can just bring those hands over the head, Bring them back down to the side as you exhale. And then you can inhale again, hands overhead. And as you exhale, you can twist to your right.

Uh-huh.

And you can hold on to that chair. You can breathe here for a couple of breaths. And then you can inhale, bring those arms back to the center. Exhale to the left. Bring those hands down. Breathe here for a couple of breaths. Inhale and exhale. Again, inhale and exhale. Inhale those arms up to the center and then bring them back down. Just a sec. Just that right there.

Wow.

Just that right there can just create some relaxation, you know, movement in the spine, in the stomach area. Um, yeah.

That was nice.

It was, wasn't it? That's a little yoga in.

Yeah, it don't take much.

Got a little something.

So what actually got you into yoga? I know you were visiting your girlfriends, and so what were you doing there, and then how did you get into Oh, yoga is my thing.

Well, um, I have always been someone who worked out for the most part, but I, I would do like high-intensity workouts, and I just thought maybe I needed to slow it down. So I slowed it down to Pilates, and then I decided to do yoga. Um, and—

Did you fall in love with yoga when you did it? You're like, oh man, I love this. Or did it take you a while to get— okay.

And when I said no, because, um, when you're constantly moving and you slow down again, that has to become a new normal for me. So I had to really, you know, ease into that part of it, um, of slowing down, because I'm so used to getting it done Working out and like feeling all the things. So slowing down took a moment, but at some point, I— in studying yoga and becoming an instructor, I realized the benefits of it. And I just enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. And the downward facing dogs and allowing that blood to rush, you know, down to your head or, you know, Mm-hmm. through your skin or whatever. Again, it, it's— if you want something to take a— take the age off, that in and of itself.

It's the downward dog.

Downward dog.

Oh, I'll be doing some downward dog today. Forward fold, you know, the forward fold.

So, you know, just again, the, um, movement, movement is so important. We do this thing called, um, In, in Flow, we do, do it every quarter. It's called, uh, 21-Day Mind, Body, Spirit Detox. And it's where we, um, the mind, where we meditate, the body, we look at movement, um, and of course the spirit, um, bringing all of that together. But we want to incorporate all those things together and Nutrition. So we do 21 days where we wake up, we meet on Zoom at 5:00 AM for 30 minutes. We do yoga, we do meditation, and we do breathwork. And then at the end, we set our intentions or whatever for the day. And then we move and we practice these things throughout the day because again, awareness, being aware, being present. present and understanding. You know, some people don't even pay attention to how they speak. They don't pay attention to how they move, um, you know, or what people are saying to them or how they respond. So we're taking this stuff off the mat into our world every day. So that's what yoga does.

Sign me up. I want to— I want to do the challenge. Are you up for it, Vannessa? I do. I am. I want to. I love— I love challenges. And I love, I, I, I love the always the self-help, the self-improvement as we get older. Yeah, you know, I love it. And yeah, I think as we get older too, we're, we're more in tune with ourselves and our bodies, and we're like, hmm, this is— I know my mother used to always, she used to tell me, uh-huh, keep living. Because every time I have a birthday, I have another ache, and I have another— keep living.

It's like, that's what my grandmother said, keep living, baby.

Yeah, it's like, okay, I'm gonna tell you, plan on doing that, right? I'm gonna tell you something that I experienced just being abroad, specifically in Africa, whereas we have people in, um, you know, right now, if you get on the ground right now, most Americans, um, in our communities, um, at our ages find it difficult to even get off the ground, right? Much less worry about falling.

Mm-hmm.

But, um, literally, um, when I was in, in my experience in Africa, most of the elders, and, um, my wife would tell you because she was astounded by that, we had people in there '70s, '80s, and '90s. She said it was nothing. They get down and get up, get down and get up, moving around like it was a teenager. And I literally saw a lady across from me, and she was every bit of 70 years old, climb up the tree to get the goat out of the tree. I can't make that up, guys. I was in Gambia and I was looking across. So, you know, I say that because yoga gives you that ability to start harmonizing with get up, get down, the flexology, or what we call the Gorilla stretching antics.

The strength.

The strength. So, you know, strength development, flexology, if you combine that inside the yoga, if you will, I see the need and the purpose for it. And that is something that, um, that I do recommend for many, if not all people. Um, and I myself, I've been— I've done yoga maybe 2 or 3 times. The most I've ever did it when I was in Africa because the people I was dealing with was yoga masters. But Um, um, that's something they felt self— they self, um, sought after and went to India to really learn it. But just for the mechanics of it all, you know.

Yeah.

So yeah, good for you.

So it's more about that, Vanessa. More about that.

I'm telling you. So it's flow for males and females, or it's really just for women?

Well, we, we have incorporated, um, men into our, uh—

Come on, Sydney, don't be— come on, Sydney, go ahead, Vanessa.

I told Kathy, I told Kathy, you though, you know, first thing in my mind to put her on the, on the plane. She has every reason to be down to Georgia. But now I'm thinking like, you know, the population that we're dealing with in Georgia is starting to kind of expand a little bit between Montgomery, Alabama and Georgia. I'm like, we might be on that plane as well, you know. So I'm telling you, this is—

Vanessa, throw an event and we come on down there.

I was just telling Vanessa, and okay, so let me answer this first. So, um, Jay and I, um, we flow. We did a couples retreat, uh, back in February, and so it was amazing. We had about 12, 14 couples. Wow, that's good. Right? And for the men to show up the way they did, um, and I mean, we had an amazing time. We all laughed, we all cried, we all conversated. We left there, I mean, marriages, um, back intact, or, or just being able to communicate something.

We need more of that for sure.

Oh my goodness.

And so I, you know, years ago, I mean, I, I taught this excellent wife Bible study for probably about 20 years. Um, it's simply because I wanted to be a better wife. I wanted to, you know, be, be a better wife. And so We just basically, um, Jay and I, um, decided she loves marriage, she loves couples, um, and so we just kind of incorporated that. And it's something that we'll be doing, um, every year. It's an annual thing now that we will, uh, bring to—

Hey, sign us up, you know, the Johnsons will be there.

That's right, that's right. Okay.

Yes. So look, so look, so Uh, the DR, the DR, um, I want to say February or March, uh, time frame. We're, um, solidifying the date.

Oh, did you say DR as in Dominican Republic?

Dominican Republic, yes.

Oh, so let me stop you right there. I'm telling you, hey, Kathy, I won some free tickets. We was at a cruise thing that we was going to to kind of get our certifications some years ago, and I actually won it, pulled the ticket for DR Transition to be able to go there, and that's all she talked about anyway was going. But we just we never made it out that way because we did the California thing or whatnot. But no excuses next time. You talking about D.R. and with flow?

And with flow.

Let's go.

Let's go. I know Kathy's on the line. What do you mean tell her let's go? She's here.

Hey girl.

Hey Kathy.

Hey.

We'll see you.

Girl, we out.

That's right.

That's right. That's right.

That's right. We there. Me and my husband, we're on it too. Let's go. Let's go. We were talking today, we need a vacation. We were just talking about how he was looking up some stuff. We know we'll be in February.

Yeah, and that's my miracle man, okay? That's my miracle man right there. Yes, he has a story.

He has a story. We can get that story out of him. He has a story.

Oh, so yeah, and, and it's some— and like, that was what was so amazing is to, um, see how the men, um, came together and Uh, your friend Michael Mitchell, um, facilitated that. Um, what? He— yeah, he and Derek. Um, and it was— when I tell you, um, you can probably see some of the testimonies from the retreat, um, in February. It was, it was amazing.

It was amazing.

So let's go, let's go and get some of that mental health in there. Physical, mental, emotional, everything.

All of that. We all did the mended yoga. I mean, we just We, we did all the things, um, uh, cooked, did all the stuff.

So, okay. I'm looking to go back there and get some of that, that fresh fruit off the trees that we can't get here, you know?

Right.

You could just— yes. And you know what's really funny? This is just a little side thing here because I'm originally from California. You get all these fruits, you can grow this fruit, put a, a tree in the back, put a plum seed in the backyard, next thing you know you got a plum tree. I moved out here to Georgia, cannot Find a piece of fruit, and I'm like, they call this a peach pit? I have not seen a peach tree. Well, you know what? I'm like, where's all the fruit?

Now, Jeanette, her— listen, I went over to her, her mom's, and I go outside, there are pears. I can just pull a pear. She got pomegranates, she has, um, peaches, she has grapevines, grapes coming off the—

I mean I got a lot of stuff going in my backyard. Well, no, I don't have a lot of plants in my back. Ain't growing nothing.

Where is she?

I'm gonna have to go to her house. I'm at the— I'm at the— need Jeanette because I'm gonna have to go to Mom's.

I was trying that fresh fruit to relax.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is wonderful. So other than— so, so, so tell us about a little bit about— so you do the Saturdays, okay, and then you do some retreat and you do yoga. What else do you offer? Because somebody told me something about You doing something in a pool, people come relax and sound baths and I don't know, all kinds of good stuff. So I was like, what? I got my bags packed for that too.

So we actually have that event tomorrow. It's called Flow Floats Align where we, um, we do a little bit of yoga.

Hello, hello, hello. And we do that— my speaker went out. I mean, my—

we do a little, we do a little bit of yoga, we have a little bit of soul-searching conversation, slightly. Then we go into the pool. Um, and when I tell you— and Jay, um, she does the sound healing, and you're just floating, and it's over into the night. And I think there's a full moon this, um, tomorrow— today, tomorrow. And you can just— when I tell you, they did not— they do not want to get out the pool, right? It's very relaxing.

Do you need to learn how— do you need to know how to swim when you get in the pool? No, ma'am, because you don't Well, you don't—

you, you don't even touch the water. You, you're getting on the float.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. And you have a nice little blanket, a pillow. Oh my gosh. Um, where your eyes are closed. You don't have to think about anything. You don't have to be anywhere. You just simply be.

And so we can— for the people who can't make it tomorrow, because some of us might not hear this, but tomorrow is tomorrow. But, but is it always on your website? They go to your website and always find out where it is.

Yes, you can go to flowauthentically.com and you could see, um, what we have on our calendar. The next event, we are going to have another one, I think it's the end of September. That'll be our very last one. Um, but you can definitely go to our Instagram page, um, which is Flow Authentically, flow_authentically.

It's posted up under the post on Facebook, guys, so just go ahead and hit her up.

Where you can see— where you can see most of our, our events, everything that's going on. We have also— we have a Flow Circle community, and that Flow Circle community allows us to communicate, um, uh, whenever, uh, you get to do the 21-day mind-body-spirit detoxes, you get to come on to the Soul Searching Saturday conversations, um, whatever we're reading or discussing at the time. There are playbacks that allows you to go and hear it again. So just having access to the community, being connected to other women, again, like-minded women who are all about growth, is, um, I think is important because connection is healing.

Okay, you said authenticallygot.com. Okay, I put that up there. So If anybody wants to go and they're just watching the video and they can't get to the Facebook, flowauthentically.com.

And same thing on Instagram. If you go to @flowauthentically, um, you're going to find the super team of Vanessa and Jeanette. This is incredible. I would love to hear more about, um, how Mike was leading everything.

He did an amazing job. He knows.

I'm sure he did.

He, he, he shows out for the most part, but then he shows up when it's really important.

Hey, that, that's his plight in life right there, to make sure. Yes, he was taught very well.

Yeah, yeah, great husband.

This is all I— so I have blanked out for a little bit for whatever reason. The internet went out and I was able to get back inside there.

So what you doing?

Oh, we didn't lose you. Well, you know, I have little cards because we asked you questions that you— that, that's, that's— we know, you know, you know, we know these. I have little dare cards.

Okay.

And so as I shuffle them, I want you to tell me to stop, Miss Vanessa. And then when I stop, the last card that's on the deck here, that's the card, that's the question you got to answer.

Okay. Okay.

So, uh, did you just let me know when you want me to stop? Okay, so this is the one I would have stopped at. Your question is You're not gonna believe this question. When was the time that you completely lost it?

That is hilarious.

That's hilarious.

Another one.

That's funny because the reason why we're laughing, everybody, was because I was, I, I was telling her earlier that this is what we do. I don't want to just surprise people that I'm doing it, and so I just started doing it and I pulled this card and we just laughed about this card, but and talked about it, but now it comes back up again. So it is meant for her to answer this card because it's twice.

And, and what I said is, um, there was not just one time. I don't think there's just one time. And I think, um, Sydney said, well, you would not have lived, or if you had not— if it only had been one time. Um, oh my goodness. Um, Where? Let me see. Okay, okay. One time where I lost it.

Um, hmm. She's so calm, full of yoga and peaceful, she can't even think of nothing. She got to go back years.

I'm— and I am, I am going back. I am going back. It works.

Years.

Um, I lost it, um, when— let me see.

That's good. That just lets you know that what she's doing is good. So everybody, if you could think just like that when you lost it, make sure you look up Flow Authentically.

Make sure, because if that's where you at, it's been a minute, and that's good.

It has, it has been a minute, and I'm going, I'm going back. I was going back to My oldest son, you know, kids, you know, Brandon is my oldest son, and he died at the age of 29.

Wow.

That was a moment that was really unreal for me. And so I would say that moment.

Yeah, that's it.

That was like— That's real vulnerable.

That was like 2017.

Yeah.

And I don't think I, I really don't wish that on anybody, um, to lose a child. Um, so, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wow, thank you for being honest and vulnerable and open.

And yeah, and then I can think of some other times where I lost it with him.

Yeah, yeah, um, yeah, look at us all wiping our eyes.

Yeah, yeah.

So, um, Um, and you had the tools because we know that that's part of life. Yeah, that's part of life, unfortunately. But you have the tools. Yes. And to, to be able to go through it because we're— yeah, we're all going to go through it one day, right? Right. And so we need those, that, those tools to be able to have the resources to just breathe and work through it. So you think that helped a lot with you going with who you are?

Oh my goodness, because most people probably I probably wouldn't even have known or thought that I did because of how I went through. I think there was a preparation process, if that even makes sense. Because a lot of times we can say we have something until the thing happens.

Until the thing happens.

Until the thing happens. And so that's really when you're you're tested, that's really when you see what's really there at the core. And so I was very grateful at the time. It was me wanting God to be my stronghold, you know, my help, my everything. And so that allowed me—

Mm-hmm.

To endure that and to think about all the lessons that he taught me, all the goodness that he brought me, all the love. And, you know, he was funny, he was intelligent. And so I could just, you know, I just think of all the, again, the great, great moments that I shared with my son, again, and the lessons that he taught me. Again, forgiveness. He taught me forgiveness. He taught me, um, how to love in a way that, um, again, that doesn't keep count, doesn't keep score. Um, so yeah.

And, and, you know, I believe that we all are sent down to earth for so many different reasons, and that listening to you, it made me think that your son was Sit down here specifically to teach you those lessons. Oh, he's like, "I'm gonna come down, teach you those lessons," right?

I agree.

Yeah, I agree.

I agree. It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

Yeah.

And so, Vanessa, that's powerful.

Go ahead.

Mm-hmm. Yes. Vanessa, is there any?

Sorry. No, go ahead.

I was just saying, um, I believe now by saying that was very impactful because, um, Vanessa, I remember the day when I got the phone call about what took place. Our close friend and family member, um, Lawrence West called me. I remember that day very distinctly because I had my granddaughter with me at the time. And I was looking at her because she was asking me to fix her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She was wondering why I felt so weak. And I was, I was, I wasn't present with her. I had to wake myself up literally to serve her at the moment. And she was only 4 years old at the time. So my heart's with you.

Thank you.

You know, you, Mike, the family. And I didn't know him personally, but to know that I know somebody who lost a child had shook me to my core. And it was even hurting when Larry called me. You could tell he was, he was trying to inform, but you could tell he was hurt by the moment of what was taking place, you know, just the whole thing.

So.

We love you for your vulnerability. We thank you for opening up, you know, because, um, and I'm a crybaby.

Oh, I know, Sidney over here crying. Look at him, he over here crying.

That's okay.

We do this too. Yes, that's why he feels— Sidney's gonna be there. Uh, Kathy, we make sure Sidney's there. I know while you're still on here, Kathy, and make sure Sidney is there. Don't have him send you, he needs to come too.

Yeah, I'm coming to Flow.

Okay, we're coming to Flow.

I'm telling you, that's the destination now.

That is, yes. Thank you. I was saying I was coming to California to connect up with you, Sidney, but you're gonna be in Georgia first.

I'm telling you, you know, now we can do the Flow over here in, um, the Napa Valley or—

Oh, I would love to come.

Matter of fact, I'll tell you what's right here, right where I'm at right now, right across the street. We have facilities. I mean, you know, and I've seen a lot of people come and do stuff in the facilities that we have, stuff like this, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

That's what part of the yoga— they had massive amount of people inside there at one time. And Trevor Parham owns a spot called Oak Stop, and we're going to bring him on one day as well. And Oak Stop now went from pre-pandemic to a couple of buildings to now, he probably have quite a few inside the city, but he has art space. And in that art space is just open floors that is wooden that we can facilitate stuff in.

Bring Flo to California.

We'll come.

That's right.

Well, come on now. Okay. So that sounds like a date. And I get with the wife, we start figuring that piece out, what that even framework look like.

Exactly.

Definitely.

Yeah. Okay, so Vanessa, is there, is there something that you would love if you had, you know, one last thing to tell people about yoga, about you? What is our, our flow? What is it that you would like to tell?

Um, hmm. Oh, I, you know, I just believe that We as, you know, women and men, we want to be seen and we want to be heard.

Hmm.

And I think there's something powerful about being in a community and realizing I'm not the only one. When women can come together without judgment, when we can be seen, heard, supported and sometimes challenged. Um, it creates hope.

It creates hope.

It creates hope. Um, and some healing happens in solitude, but some healing happens in relationships. Um, so sometimes another woman reminds you of your strength, and when you've temporarily forgotten it yourself. So, um, Flow, um, is, is all of that— faith, love, oneness, wellness. Um, we are willing to, um, do the journey with you, basically, because that's the journey we're on.

Hey, I'm trying to.

No, did I?

Okay, okay. Did I put another screen on here?

Something happened. I thought maybe he was about to post something.

I was trying to. I was no, I wasn't trying to post anything. Hold on, let me go back. My bad.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

There we go.

There we go. I was trying.

I was trying. I was still learning.

I was. I was behind the scene playing with something. I didn't think it was gonna flip us off. Okay, Vanessa. I didn't mean to flip us off like that, but so so um where's the puppy at? Appa? Oh, he would love to be up in here right now.

I believe that.

Yep.

Did you kick him out the room for the interview?

I did, and his and his daddy.

I sure did. Oh Lord, Vanessa got her own little poochies over that way too. You know, she been kicking about the room.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So we have— Vanessa, I thank you so much for being here. We have held you much longer than we had— we usually do, and I hate to keep holding. This is a good conversation. This is so needed. I love the health. Love the health awareness. But let me ask you one more question because I did mess up the last scene a little bit. But let me ask you one more question, because one thing we did— there's so much to unpack when you talk about health and wellness. We talk about yoga and your body. You mentioned something also about eating.

Oh yeah, eating.

Well, you know, um, food is our energy. Um, it's, it's what fuels us. Um, and, um, it's a part of that wholeness, um, um, mind, body, and spirit. And so as a holistic nutritionist, um, um, that—

Oh, you're a holistic nutritionist too? Oh Lord, she's a whole— she sees the whole package, everybody.

I'm telling you, see the whole package.

I'm telling you, get Flow Authentically. And I'm not just pumping smoke. I'm, I'm, I will be there tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock. Okay, so tomorrow and Saturday I will be there.

Wonderful. We're, we're talking about, um, um, self-esteem. Um, the 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem is so good. Um, just when you thought you think you know all the things, you, you don't. But anyway, so that's that. So, but yeah, food, food.

All my nonprofits out there, get online. Oh, you guys are talking about running a nonprofit, talking about starting one, you need to have self-esteem Because I'm telling you, this field will beat you down. Yeah, step out there strong because it's hard. It's, it's not the easiest thing to do, but it's so rewarding. And but you need that self-esteem to get out there. So I'm telling— what else, what else you teaching about? Go ahead.

Yeah, so that's, that's, that's definitely, uh, where we are, um, um, on Soul Searching Saturday Conversations is, um, is, is talking about the 6 pillars of self-esteem. And, um, you know, again, when we think that we've kind of covered most things, um, we have not.

Okay.

And, um, this is really peeling back some layers and making you understand that without any self-worth, um, there is no self-esteem. So, you know, Instead of just quoting or affirming, I am worthy, it's so much bigger than that. Um, it's so much bigger than that. It's, you know, literally understanding your value. And that's—

Telling your value.

That's where your confidence comes from. That's where, um, you know, again, the self-esteem shows up.

It's based—

it comes from the worth. And And your behavior lets you know whether you are or not.

So, okay, okay.

So for the person out there right now, for the person sitting out there for right now, or will probably see this later on, um, who's just been living in an isolated fear of not walking themselves out, what do you have for them? The, the, just the least initial motivation to To say, I can, I am worthy, and I can.

Um, one of the things, um, I think that was kind of part of that, that, you know, you— the question you said, um, I be— completing the sentence, I became fearless when, um, and, um, I became fearless when I decided to heal. And fearless doesn't mean that I stopped experiencing fear. It actually— I actually believe courage requires fear. Courage is recognizing the fear and choosing to move anyway.

Yeah.

So I just want you to, even though you may feel that, Because healing requires you to look at parts of your life where it may have been uncomfortable. It requires you to question things that have become familiar, even when familiarity wasn't healthy. So for me, it required me to have courage. Um, to choose something different. So I just want you to choose something different. And honestly, Fearless Friday is a part of that for me because, you know, yesterday, I mean, it was like, oh, I don't— you know, I could have easily said no. I could have easily said no. Um, however, I did it anyway because it was bigger than me. And so Healing is so much bigger than you. It's for those that are around you.

Oh, we're so excited about it and we thank you. I mean, this has really touched, obviously not just us, but I'm sure many other people that's even taken the time. Even walking out and doing the podcast that we just off the whim did, um, took a lot because I was thinking so many different things like And then something that says go, because you have to go through the curve of learning and becoming regardless. Walk out your old space and walk into the new space. Stretch it out.

Correct.

Yes.

That's right. That's right. I really need that link for tomorrow.

Oh, and I will send it to you. I will send it to you.

Put it in the comments on Facebook when you get a chance so everybody can Have that, that link.

She gotta make sure she has enough room on— you gotta make sure she has enough capacity on wherever she's putting it on. She gonna get a flood of people. Oh, every time you turn around, somebody's gonna be signing up for her Saturdays. I will be there.

Okay, I— we look forward to it. This was so, uh, amazing. Thank you guys for having me.

Thank you.

And we appreciate the last minute. Yeah, I jumped on board. I was just so ecstatic, and it's Especially, um, um, Vanessa as well. And, uh, we thank God for you. We thank you for giving us your time. I thank your husband Mike for, um, even allowing, um, the space to communicate with you about, you know, allowing to come on and everything. So, um, yeah, definitely. So, um, hey, I'm a Flo fan. What can I tell you?

Thank you.

Oh, let me go through this real quick before we go. Let's see. Cathy Denise Mitchell, my brother's amazing. Vanessa too.

Oh wow!

Denise. Okay, Denise.

That's her sister-in-law.

Yeah. Myra. Okay.

Yeah.

Myra. She loves you.

I love her. We all love Vanessa now. She's about to change our lives. Can you imagine my self-esteem on steroids? Don't give me some more self-esteem tomorrow.

Oh, 6 pillars.

A little bit more. I always could use a little bit more. Yeah. So thank you, thank you everybody for listening. Thank you for enjoying us on Fearless Friday Hidden Battles. If you have a hidden battle that you want to talk about, come on in. I mean, it doesn't have to be something small. We're here, okay?

There is nothing small in our lives.

Nothing small in your lives.

That's right.

And let me get my last little picture. Y'all know I got to do my little last little picture. So for those of you That's what I'm saying. You came down from this earth to do something and you just keep putting your calling on mute because you know your— you know your purpose is calling you. Are you putting your calling on mute, do not disturb? Are you telling your creator that I don't have time for this right now to do what I was sent down here to do on this earth? So if your calling is to help others and you're thinking about starting a nonprofit, I am here, Vannessa Lindsey, with the Nonprofit Transformers to help you take your per— your passion and your purpose And to do what you came here to do. And if you've passed that, you've got your nonprofit, but you're like, you know what, I still need some more help. I need, I need my website. I need some help with AI. That's where our partner Sydney comes in with Vibe Alive. Sydney, you want to tell them a little bit about what you're going to offer them?

Yeah, I go ahead and take care of your whole ecosystem. I can install bots, but look, I do rapid build out, but I make sure that everything is built I don't have no, um, um, um, templates. Everything I build, I build it from scratch based upon your own specific brand DNA. So this is what we offer and your calling, and that's why I'll absorb it all, and then we'll see what your output is. So I'm here, Vannessa's here, and Vannessa from the flow and Jeanette from the flow is here authentically. We thank you. God bless.

Have a good weekend, everybody.

Bye.