Val and Vannessa 10 13

Hey hey! Okay, how you doing? I'm so excited.

Hey hey!

I am so excited because, you know, uh, I'm back and it's been— it's been a long time. And this is my first new podcast, and I, I'm so honored to have you as the first guest on this podcast about Build Your Nonprofit with Vanessa because it's been a long journey. And for those of you who don't know me, and for those of you do, welcome back. For those who don't know me, I'm Vanessa Lindsay and I started nonprofit in 1987.. And it's been just a wonderful journey. So over the last 30-plus, almost 40 years, I've gone through the whole life cycle of a nonprofit. And so my purpose and my vision is just like, hey, let me teach others how to do it. Because if you look a little bit, you see this little gray going on here. I have so much in my head and so much in my heart, and I know I can't take it with me. So my purpose and my passion is to pour it out and leave it here before I leave this earth, right? I have so much to talk about, so much to share. And so I'm excited about being back and being able to do that. And I'm excited about our new speaker that we have with us tonight, uh, my wonderful guest, because she is such a dynamic, inspiring author. She's a dynamic speaker. She is a devoted mother, you know. And, and, and with all the things that she does, I couldn't put it all into one. She is a successful real estate agent. She's just amazing, you know. She has such positive energy and her passion for helping others. Navigate life's challenges is just beyond measure. Okay, and so we know that's nonprofit founders or nonprofits, and one of the things we do is help others navigate challenge, but not like she does. You know, through her personal professional experience, she's overcome adversity and is here to share her insights on resilience, empowerment, and finding success both in life and business. So I want to welcome Miss Val D to the show, and she goes by Coach Val D because she will coach you through it. And but you know, more than just coaching you through it she's going to love you through it. So I'm hoping everyone that's listening to this will not only get something for themselves, but to be able to get something to pass on to their clients and those that they cross paths with. So welcome, Miss Valdine.

Oh, now that is what you call an introduction. I'm telling you, man, I'm giving you your 25 cents. Don't worry about nothing. I appreciate you for that intro. Well, look, let me say this first and foremost to everyone that's listening out there, because you just heard my introduction, which was absolutely one of the most beautiful things that anyone could say about an individual. So it kind of makes you proud to hear things like that because you don't get a chance to hear it every day because we don't look for it every day. We just move in the moment and do what we need to do. But first and foremost, let me say this. Uh, she is always modest in many ways. Now, a beast in business, but she could be modest when it comes to things that are personal. I have to celebrate her today. Today she is celebrating a monumental moment in her life, a monumental number in her life. I'm not going to tell you the number, she could tell you herself what that number is, but it is her birthday today. So even if you hear this after the fact, I want you to shout out to her and wish her a wonderful happy, happy, happy birthday to you. A happy birthday. This is, uh, a not only, um, not only a very, very dear person and a dear friend to me, that this is one of my best friends and my sister in life. And I'm happy to be a part of her first podcast. And she actually She's so determined. Once she makes her mind up to do something, forget about it. Her— she has razor-sharp focus and she is going to make it happen. And she wanted to do this on her birthday, so launching— we are, we are launching her podcast on her birthday. So thank you for, uh, honoring me by letting me be your first speaker on your podcast. I know it's going to be highly successful. I know it's going to be because anything that you put your hands to and you put your focus on it, it's nothing but magic that happens. So I know it's going to get better, more better, more better, and I wish you nothing but success moving forward with this podcast. I'm so proud of you for launching on your monumental day. What a moment in time, don't you think?

I do. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And so this is for me, is to be able to give this gift on my birthday to all of you. Anyone, whenever you're listening to this, and hopefully along the way I'll be able to give you different nuggets, tools, tactics. So this is my gift to everybody, is to take all this information and pour it on out into the world that I've been blessed to learn along the last 37-plus years, almost 40 years.

That's right. Wow. And now, isn't that Isn't that such a wonderful thing to be able to say? You talk about legacy, you know, and I know that that's going to lead you into a segue of other things that we'll be discussing on this podcast. But, uh, what a, a magical thing to say. 47, 37, 47, 27. But when you get there, when you get there, the amount of information and skill set that you can actually As you said, share is a gift today. This is what this is all about, empowering others to find their way on their journey, whether they are in the beginning of their journey, in the middle of the journey, having to start over from a journey. Because remember, you know, there's no such thing as failure. So we don't want to hear anybody come here and say, I tried it but I failed. No, you didn't fail. You know, you just been given another opportunity to do it right. To do it better, to learn from that, that whatever that challenge was and expound on it. So yeah, she's gonna give you some things that you're definitely not gonna expect from A to Z. I'm gonna tell you that right now. I'm gonna put that plug in there for her because this woman knows any and everything about nonprofits. And that's one of the reasons why we also want to share this too because For me, part of my background, we talked about, you heard Vanessa give me my introduction, but a part of where I come from, where I stand, where my feet are planted is motivating and inspiring others to move beyond their challenges and excel from that and understanding that challenges actually is an opportunity to become a champion. Okay, so, and that's the same thing that you'll receive learning from A to Z with Vanessa in entering, re-entering, reorganizing, or revamping wherever you are on your journey for the nonprofit sector.

And what you just said was so powerful. It's like overcoming, and a lot of people start nonprofits because of Why do you want— when you talk to me, ask me, well, why do you want to start a nonprofit? Because I've been through such and such. I had trauma. I've been through divorce.

That's right.

I've been homeless, or I know someone that's had a trauma. I've— my family this, my daughter this, or something. And so we generally start nonprofits out of an experience that we have, or wanting to help somebody that's so close to us experiences where we could have supported them along the way and had a little bit of vicarious trauma. And that's by being around someone and they're going through trauma, but we're— we're experiencing it also. Right? So those are some of the reasons why we start nonprofits. But one of the things that I love that we're going to talk about is being able to overcome and not overcome it— you're not going to overcome it at before you start your nonprofit, you're going to do it along the way. But how do you do it along the way without— with having that challenge and saying, oh, I have this challenge, and but I need to keep going in the face of diversity because I know there's a purpose and I have a passion, but I cannot allow what I've gone through in the past to debilitate me and stop me from moving forward. So what are— what do you think one is, the, um, a significant challenge that you faced in your life, and how has it shaped you?

Well, I want to come back to that, so don't let me forget, because it's something that you said that, uh, made me want to comment on that. So it's, uh, for people to understand, no, we're trying to help you before you get to the point where it becomes so overwhelming from what you feel like our challenges to get you to— from point A to point B, right? And so with that, again, that's exactly why you are here, why you have been led to find this space, this moment in time, because, uh, the Most High, whoever you want to call them, the universe, whatever you solidified that brings you some type of solidarity to something bigger than yourself, and understanding that there, there is something bigger than us that operates, that takes us into, uh, the light, a good space, or whatever it is, however you deem it. You know, if you have your third eye open or whatever it is, there's no judgment here. We just want to make sure you get it. So the whole point is to understand being here, being led here to this moment in time, is to equip you so that, you know, understanding that if someone told you that it was a pothole up the street because they just came from that route 5 feet up the street because they just came from that direction. They're traveling north, you're going south. They're going to help you to— they're going to help prevent you from running over that pothole or stepping into that pothole based on their experience that they've been there before you. So you're in the right place. That's all I'm trying to tell you. And so, um, and I want to make sure you understand. What was that?

And I was just saying, you don't have to fall into that pothole. You know, we're like—

You don't. You don't have to fall. No, you don't have to fall into the pothole. And know that that's why we're here to help prevent some of those hurting pains, because we've already been through them. And so we're going to show you how to move around that in a strategic way. OK, there's a strategy that comes with this to help you to understand. And in that, also knowing that your mindset plays a big role in that. Okay, so you could be empowered with all the gifts and talents in the world, but if your mindset isn't right, you don't know how to act on it anyway. So let's, let's, you know, we're going to get into that a little bit more, but keep that in mind as we move forward. Now, there was a question that you just asked me, and if you don't mind, could you just repeat it one more time?

Yes. Um, tell me about a significant challenge that you faced in your life and how it really shaped you.

Well, if I— that's kind of hard for me to narrow down because, um, I have been through many challenges in my lifetime. And I actually, when I tell people about them, I say, listen, you know, I've had many miracles in my life, okay? I am a walking miracle. But if I was to think about something that comes to mind right now, you know, I could think about how my son was born premature. Okay. At a time in my life where nothing was ever more important to me than family and my children. And he was only 2 pounds. They said he looked like a little mouse. He looked like a little mouse, you know, that they don't always— they're not developed, so they don't have hair, they don't have anything. And if he didn't make it to 5 pounds, you know, he would continue to have to, you know, be in the hospital for a prolonged period of time. Well, what happened is I was able to get the support of someone that was a distant relative, distant relative that was so supportive. That I was able to— they were so supportive that I was able to continue to look at this not as the end, but as the beginning, the support that came with it. So that challenge helped shape me moving forward into almost every other challenge that came up in my life is understanding, going through the process, keeping a support system, and, um, and just put one foot in front of the other and it all works out. So that's pretty much it. That's, that's just to round it out a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And we do it, our share of the challenges we do, we take, they come and they can last us a lifetime because we continue to grow, you know, we continue to learn from them. I was speaking with my son today and we were talking about my life, you know, because this again, this is one of the significant numbers. And so, um, we were talking about one of the significance, it wasn't challenge, but I guess it was a challenge because I was a teen mother. And so back in the day, back in— I don't even want to tell— I don't— well, let me just say this. I started my nonprofit when I was 21 years old, so I was a teen mother before then. And then I've been in existence almost 40 years.

So, and women need to hear this. I mean, it's very important because it is, it is a challenge to be— it's a challenge to be a mother, uh, but to be a teenage mother, yes, that's powerful. To say that you made it. Yes.

Oh my goodness. And we made— and we had— and we were just talking about a wonderful life we had, you know. We did the wonderful life that we had. But the one of the challenges that I had was back in the day, this is when they would take your kids— you would be in high school or whatever—

back in the day, back in the day. So you telling your age, you know, you're telling your age, right? Nobody— back in the day.

Yeah, I'm really, really getting ready to tell it because, you know, it's back in the days when you would be in school and they'd be like, hey, Susie's not here. Where's Susie? Ah, Susie went to stay with Aunt Alice. Oh, okay. And then she come back 6, 8 months later and she's back in school like nothing happened. Well, she went away. And when they have taken them and they would put them in a home and they would stay in these homes, and then they would give their child for adoption and no one would ever know what happened. So this was back in that time. But as I started my nonprofit— begin to start my nonprofit, they started shutting them down. But back in the day, there wasn't services for teen mothers. It was like, you— this is your option. You go to this little home, you get rid of your baby. But we're not going to have services in the community for you.

It was shame. It was shame.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And people were like— but when I got pregnant, I was like, woo-hoo. I had supportive parents that was like, OK, let's go. We got this. But it wasn't a lot of services. And I always said, when I become an adult, I'm going to have services tailored specifically for youth, whatever it is tailored to youth, because there wasn't any. So of course, when I was 21, I felt like I was an adult. I was grown. And so I set out to do what I said I was going to do. And that has shaped my life so amazingly. You can have a challenge, but you could turn that challenge in so many opportunities. And having that, my son gave me all opportunities and growth, and it just shaped me into who I became and being able to help others do the same. So, yeah.

And like you were saying in the beginning, honestly, the very— the many, many, many reasons why we start nonprofits, okay? Many reasons. I mean, you were profoundly affected because you knew you were a teen mom. You knew there wasn't any resources available. You knew that back in the day, you know, the shame came— the shame was just a byproduct of everything else that was going on behind the scenes of unwed mothers. This was really a big deal. This is not something, you know, now you see it and everything is acceptable because we have evolved, okay? We've evolved more. But there was a time when this was not something that was easy to live through from day to day. You could have been pretty much on your own with very limited resources. So you were inspired and motivated to start something to help other young women to, you know, find resources and to get the help and support that they need and added support services. So all the different reasons, you know, You know, my, uh, for example, and then I know that you're going to expound on this a little bit, but I want to bring it to light. You know, there's many different ways that you can have an entity, whether it's a foundation or, you know, and I'll let you go more into that. You know, my nephew passed away, um, almost 4 years ago from a very rare disease that no one had heard of that affects primarily the Asian community. And, um, um, it causes the blood vessels to actually enlarge and swell. And so thus the blood flow is, is cut off and it causes strokes. So he had a massive stroke with something that no one ever heard of. But my sister was so moved because she had to do something because bringing in awareness. Mm-hmm. So, you know, it's not just trying to help, but it's like, I need to bring an awareness to this thing that is not out there in the everyday., uh, newsfeed.

Yes, yes.

So again, all the different reasons why we do— why we start a nonprofit. So don't think that you don't have— if you have something that you are passionate about and that, uh, moves you in some kind of way, even if you have absolutely no idea, uh, where to start, that is what this moment in time. Again, it's all about— because you have, for lack of a better word, the nonprofit guru right here that actually can walk you through A to Z and all of her experience packed up, packed up so very neatly for you. So you don't have to, you don't have to stress on how, you don't have to stress on who, you don't have to stress on any of that. All you have to do is follow the process, follow the strategy, follow what's been said before you, and it's going to be, uh, and it's going to be such great value for you. Can you imagine not having to bump your head, uh, 5 or 6 times just to understand how to even get started, who to talk to, where do I go, what department, what, you know, who does this, you know? And how many times have you asked the question, how do you start a nonprofit? Okay, that's the number one. That's the first thing that comes to people's mind. How do you do it? Well, I mean, you know, and Vanessa is going to help you with that. She's going to elaborate more on that. I just want to make sure that you understand. I want to motivate you right now to stop and take a moment and realize again that you are in this space for a reason because you've probably been thinking about it. You know that there's something that you're passionate about. You know that there's something you want to tell the world about and you want to make some— something happen, some kind of change, you know what I'm saying? So I want to inspire you to listen closely. Um, you know, everything that we, we discuss on this forum in this particular podcast is going to be across the board because it's not only going to help you personally, but it's going to help you with your business journey into your nonprofit. And, uh, because You are personally entwined in it, so you need to make sure that you are solid and your feet are planted as well.

And, and that's a great point because I think every last one of us, every last one of us on this earth, we have a passion or purpose and we want to— we kind of want to help somebody in some kind of way, you know, whether it's our loved one, our neighbor, the dog, the cat. We want to help some of some book some kind of way. And sometimes starting a nonprofit, you're like, I, I don't want to do it. Like, like Miss Belle was talking about, maybe you want to do a foundation to show awareness, or if not, maybe you want to support somebody who's starting a nonprofit. Because starting a nonprofit, that's one thing that I'm gonna— that I, um, want to make sure that I'm always coming across as being as truthful as possible, not giving you a pie in the sky, oh, there's so much money out there and it's easy to get, and this is such an easy thing to do, and I'm gonna tell you the truth, this is the one of the most hardest things I've ever had to do. And so we talk about having a challenge. I'm gonna— and the challenge that I've had after has been so overwhelming is running a nonprofit, running a nonprofit, getting funding every day, keeping staff, making sure support services are being provided. Those are challenges that you're going to come across every single day. And that's with any business, but with a nonprofit, that's even harder because you're depending on others, your community. You don't really have a widget to sell.

Right?

Where you can't say, oh, I'm just gonna go out here and sell a bunch of t-shirts and make this extra money. You can, but that's not what you're— that's not what your mission and your purpose is. So there's going to be a lot of challenges that you're going to have to overcome before you can really even, you know, uh, keep going. And so what I would recommend, if you don't know if you want to start a nonprofit, I'ma always put this plug in: help a nonprofit, donate to a nonprofit, volunteer with a nonprofit, right? To help them overcome some of their challenges. So, so, Miss Valerie, ask you a question. So as you're going through, what do you think that are some key experiences that could help others in similar situations that you have found yourself in? I know you have a strong faith. I know you are a prayer. I know you have patience, patience, and you have more patience, you know, which something—

there's something that I had nothing to do with, by the way. I want to put that disclaimer out there. That is the way my father made me. And but I am grateful for it. Yes, I am. It has helped me in so many different situations, being the one that was a patient when in the room or having to see beyond what, what the circumstance of the situation is, because that patience gives you almost a second sight because, you know, there's more to it than what you see. And so I just want to say that really quickly. Um, but I wanted to say that one of the things, you know, having faith, which is simply just— I tell my kids all the time, listen, faith is a substance that we believe in. We know that, okay? Um, it's the unseen, okay, that we believe in. But to simplify it, it is simply believing. Believing in something bigger than what you see. That, that saying in the, uh, the verse, walking by faith and not by sight, it's because you're not going by what you see. You know, you know there is something that, um, that allows an escape. There's something that gives you the victories. There's something that happens if you just keep your feet planted and keep putting one foot in front of the other and look to the hills. What they say about look to the hills from where it's coming all the help, that's basically looking forward. Don't look behind you. If you look back there, you just checking for a reference point. That's it. You don't live, uh, you do not live looking in the rearview mirror. But if you look right here, if you look over here and you see what it says One of the things you want to know is because I understand that rejection— because you're going to get some rejection, you're going to get some nos— I understand that rejection is not the end of my journey. I know that. I understand that.

Okay, so with a lot of those rejections, did you ever feel like, you know what, I'm getting— I keep getting so— because we all get so many rejections. No, no, no. I know when I first started, it was like, no. No, no. So do you have to play— was like, you know what, this— there's just so many rejections that this is— this might be telling me no, not now, go do something else, or I just quit, I'm not going to go, I'm not going to do this? Or did you have a why that was so strong that you're like, you know what, even though I'm getting these rejections, my why is so strong and it's something that's personal to me that I'm not going to quit?

Of course everyone does, you know, and sometimes that comes in the, in the, um, in the way of doubt. Okay, that comes in the way because you can have so many rejections, you begin to doubt what it is that you actually believe in for, right? But if you start to look at it for what it actually is, then you know what you're standing on. Because the thing about what's for me is for me, and it is, it really is. It's just this time you may not be able to walk through the door to get it. You might not be able to walk through the front door to get it. You may have to go around to the back door. If the back door doesn't work, you may have to go around to the side door. What if the side door doesn't work? You might have to come back around to the front door and kick that sucker in. But by all means, if you can't run, walk. If you can't walk— if you cannot walk, you crawl, like the Clark sisters said. But by all means, keep moving. That's a mindset. And that's the thing too, that maybe I had nothing to do with in the beginning, but did I nurture it? Of course. I had to nurture it when I realized that, you know, some of us, you know, we're not all dealt the same cards. And so our challenges— and it could be relative, you know. My challenge today might be something, um, much greater than yours is today, but yours might be much greater than mine tomorrow. It could be relative. We don't know that. But the point is, um, when, when you continue to, um, to just keep forging no matter what, to forge no matter what. Even if you do go to the left instead of staying right because you think, well, maybe I'll drop this and then go on to the next thing, like what you were saying. Well, it's not always that way because sometimes people's rejection is God's protection. So you, if you go to the left instead of to the right, or if you go to the right instead of to the left, then you still going to find what you was looking for, but it's going to be greater on that side of things too, because you've already been in the process. You're still moving forward. You, you haven't given up. You just couldn't get through that part of it, and it may be because you're not supposed to go through that way. Maybe you'll be rerouted back around to what you were looking for originally, but even at a greater level, you know what I'm saying? So understanding rejection Being able to look at a challenge and saying, no, you will not, you will not win. I am going to win because it is meant for me to share with other teens about how you can make it, how you can make it as a teen mother. You do not have to let go, even if you don't have a support system, because a lot of young girls didn't. During that time frame. That's why, you know, it was too much shame. Parents were sending them to Aunt Judy's and coming back, and then now all of a sudden you're starting your life all over again. But the point is, I will help a teenage mother understand that we can make resources. If they don't want to give them to us, then we're going to make it happen. Sometimes people are not going to give you anything. You have to take something and make a whole lot of— take nothing and turn it into something. Okay, and then you— and while you're doing that, remember your steps that you're taking. You walking, talking, and chewing bubble gum, baby. You have to coordinate this like Vanessa just told you. It's hard, it's hard, it's not easy. I'm not gonna— she's not gonna fluff it. She told you this is not a fluff world. Nonprofit, you hear that all the time, but is it worth it? Yes. Is it worth the fight? Is it worth putting the time in? Uh, I mean, when she begins to tell you and break down truly, truly what her journey is and how she built this, her nonprofit, to a multimillion-dollar agency. I'm putting your stuff out there because they need to know. And from where she started, from a concept, from an idea, from something that was so passionate because she had gone through it. Do you think that she didn't receive rejections? Of course she did. So that thing inside of you that thing inside of you that won't let you let it go. I call it the Holy Spirit. They used to have a song and say, it's sure enough won't let me go. So, you know, so it's that thing, baby. And it's sometimes, you know, you got the it, you better stand on it, baby. You know, when you got the it, you— can you be detoured sometimes? Can you get off track a little bit? Yes, we all do. But guess what? One thing I love about a track star is they get a second wind.

Mm-hmm. So, so what would you think— and I briefly laughed because when you talk about diversity, adversity, we all have adversities, you know. And so the versus back in that day, and we still have these same adversities today. It's like you step out, and I'm just going to put it out there, you may step out as a Black female, right? And as a Black female, you're going to have some adversities. You may step out there as a Black male, and those are, those are adversities you're going to have. You're going to step out there and you're going to have limited resources. And that's going to be some adversities that you're going to have. But one thing we'll talk about is some of the mindset, your mindset. And that's when I talked about what is your why. Your why has to be so deep.

And it—

and I believe it does. It cannot be— my why was not— even though it was part of my whys, I wanted to help teen mothers, but that wasn't my why that kept me in the game. Because eventually I went from teen mothers to helping all teens and teens suffering from addiction and mental health and trauma. For various reasons, but that was not a why that would have kept me in the game. So your why has to be so, so important. That goes with your mindset, because my why honestly was, was I wanted to do this. But what kept me there when things got so hard and I had so much adversity, because I was a young Black female— who is the 21-year-old Black female that stepped in this community talking about she's going to be serving kids? We don't know, like, and trust you. We have to get to know, like, and trust you before we can accept you in here. So those are some of the things that you're going to have to overcome is when you get out into the community, when you're first building your nonprofit, when you're first building your business, when you're getting your book out there, when you're getting— as a real estate agent, you know, you're a new agent coming in and people are like, who is this coming and putting this new sign up in this community? This is my territory, right? So we all have these territories, but you got to get people to learn to know, like, and trust you. And so that's one of the adversities that we all have to overcome when we're first starting our business, whether it's our profit or for-profit, anything. And it's like, and how do you overcome those adversities? Number one, you have to have a strong enough why. And my why is because I wanted to be right where I am right now today on this birthday. I wanted to be here. I wanted to spend my life with my child. I want to spend my life with my grandchildren. I want to spend my life running my life and not having to clock in, not having to be told when I can have a vacation, not being told when I— so that was my bigger why, because I knew If I quit when things got so hard, then I would be clocking in. I would be on somebody else's time. I wouldn't be able to call the shots because I love to be the shot caller, okay? Even though sometimes you're not always there. So you want your why to be so, so deep. It has to be beyond what it is that you— who you want to serve. Because you know how they say if you build it, they will come? That's not necessarily true. I build a lot of services and people like, I don't want that. I'm not coming. So, so then you would want to quit, or you can just put in a grant after grant. Well, I've never had that experience, put in a whole lot of grant and getting denied, but I've had a lot of experience doing a lot of fundraisers. I'm a grant writer.

I love that. Okay. All right, you guys, I mean, you better pay attention to these little nuggets, okay? I want you— that is something you should have heard all down in your spirit, all down in your soul, okay? Yes. Did you hear she said Although I really haven't experienced a lot of rejection on no from getting grants written, grant requests. So pay attention to the little things too. And I do believe that Vanessa will have some sort of replay if you guys are either an option that you might be able to purchase or whatever to participate. I don't know how she's going to offer it to you, but I really want you to pull your paper out and your pencils and and just take some notes, you know, listen carefully. We're gonna chuck and jive a little bit because this is not stiff. This is, uh, to engage you, okay? This is to engage you. It is to empower you. It is to motivate you, and it is to inspire you, uh, to, to get to, you know, the, the better part of who and what you are doing, whether that is in your career, personally, family, spiritually, whatever it is. Here you're going to receive it. And, um, if you don't mind, Vanessa, I'd like to take a couple minutes and, um, just say a little bit about myself. I mean, you did that wonderful introduction.

I was gonna say, now let's— so we've been talking about me and what I'm doing. Let's flip it, because what you're doing is amazing, and we want to talk about what you're doing and how you're working and helping other people to overcome. So yes, by all means.

Thank you very much. I appreciate that. So, um, you know, guys, I just want to say, uh, my name is— my name is Val Darden. I'm Coach Val D, all right? And, um, all of my life I have been told in some shape, form, or fashion that I was supposed to be in a pulpit, uh, a missionary, um, or someone like that. Now, um, did I ever participate in a pulpit? Um, no, not really. Have I spoken in a pulpit? Many of them. Um, but, um, you cannot go by people's, um, idea of what they interpret you to be. See, I had to know 100% who I am. I am the one that is in the field to do that very work that God has already predestined me from my mother's womb to do. I'm here to do that. So I have been inspiring and motivating individuals since I was a child, and, um, when I didn't know what the word was called, when I didn't know it was coined a phrase, or that there was definition of it. All I knew that there was something innately about me, something in me that wouldn't let me treat other kids bad. When the kids, other children were laughing at them, I would pick them up, hold their hand and say, no, you know what, don't cry, be strong, or either stand up and say, you're not doing that again. Okay, so don't ask me why. I mean, I was the oldest girl, so it wasn't like I had a whole bunch of folks that was ahead of me that was going to help me if I got in a situation, anything, you know. So, but it's just not about that. That when you When it is something that is within you, it empowers you with the strength that you don't even know that you have, right? But the thing about it is sometimes that's dormant because life, life has a way of beating you down. Life has a way of changing your mentality. Life has a way of sucking your joy out. Life has a way of of, of making you kind of despondent and you don't even— you don't know why, or feeling like a stranger in your own body. Life has a way of doing that. So when I say that all of my life I've always motivated and inspired before I even knew what the name of it was, that's simply a fact. The other thing that is something that has been with me since I was 9 years old was I've always had an entrepreneurial spirit. Always. I started selling sunflower seeds when I was 9 years old, and because I knew that I wanted to have my own business, because in the neighborhood I lived in, we were actually in the lower economic area. Let's just say that. But just 2 blocks up the street was the upper middle class. Okay, just that quick, it changed from poor to upper middle class. Now, did we know we were poor? We knew we didn't have everything everybody had, but my mom was nothing poor about her spirit and didn't allow us to feel any of that. Okay, so, but just right up the street, just, I mean, literally 2 blocks when I walked past the community center, I could see upper middle class and they were doing it and they looked like me. And I wanted to do that because they had their construction trucks. And they had these things that you could see that they own something that belongs to them. So I've always had an entrepreneurial spirit. And, and so, and I nurtured that. I started my first business when I was actually 17 years old, and it was called Val's Fashion Extraordinaire. And that stuck with me for a very long time. I asked people for many times, Do you understand the difference between ordinary and extraordinary? And of course everybody goes— because when we get put on the spot it's so hard to answer something like this. So you're like I don't know what's the difference! Well, it's that little extra but where I got that from was actually in the business licensing department in LULU Fort Worth Texas when I was 17 years old and I told the clerk there Fleur. I said, oh my God, I love that. And I took it and I turned it to Val's Fashion Extraordinaire, where I sold clothes and jewelry for literally almost, um, I think about 20 years. And from there I was introduced to property management, where I actually was a residential property manager for almost 19 years. I went from the management side to the sales into things in real estate. I've all— I've been a— and am a tax advisor, uh, and I'm an author. Um, I'm a mother, like Vanessa said, uh, and I'm first and foremost, um, God, then my family, and then everything else. And that really is the way it works. You hear people talk about family first. Well, don't worry about— I want— and I want to speak to those people who say I don't have a family, or my family is the rottenness, the tear of the most terrible people in the whole wide world. I want to say, I want to say this to you. Sometimes the people that are given to us by blood, it's not going to be, um, the only ones that you call family. You will have someone stretch, stretch and surround yourself with people that are like-minded like you, and you'll find family. You will find that. I just want to— I just— I'm moved to say that right now, and I don't know who needs to hear it, but I want you to know, remember that that is real, okay? Everybody didn't have a Brady Bunch family, okay? But you still move beyond that. Now, why did I say all of that about me that way? I said all that that way because I need you to understand that, um, just like Vanessa, what we're talking about, that special number that we're celebrating with her today. Well, I've lived a lot of life, and I'm very proud of where I am, um, in life right now as I celebrate 6 decades, um, on this planet that we call Earth. I'm very happy to say that because I have overcome, and I want to celebrate seasoned women I want to celebrate seasoned women and say, baby, we are sexy 60 and we are doing it better than we have before as we go to the next level, becoming our multimillionaires and being happy about it and sharing and helping someone else have a leg up along the way. Baby, I'm here to inspire and motivate you. And I want to talk about a little bit about my book that comes out that's going to do just that. It will. Help you to understand, you know, overcoming your challenges to become champions. Now, I'm not mentioning the book name quite at this time, but we are going to make available for you affirmations from the book that we can share with you later on. And I also want you to join me when Vanessa will be and I will be back together again on my podcast And you'll get more information about that. We'll make sure that's included as well. So I want you to reach out if you have any questions, concerns, or ideas, or whatever, whatever you want to say. If you said, you know what, something you said moved me, something you said made me angry, something you said— tell me why. I want to know why. Why did it upset you? Let's talk about that. And, you know, because we still— all of this is going to be about mindset, how we move forward in business, how we move forward personally. How we move forward spiritually. So who I am, well, I'm Coach Val D, and baby, what I just told you, that's all me.

Mm-hmm. So you mentioned one thing about friends and family, and, um, and sometimes they're extended. So how would you say, if people didn't have— how is— how can your friends, families, and other mentors— because We all need them. How has that helped in navigation, have people navigate through those real, real tough moments? So it's like, oh my gosh, I need—

Yeah, because when you have an extended family, when you don't have— everyone, obviously, we got here by a mama and a daddy, a mommy and a daddy. We had to get here. To participate in this realm, all right? But they're not always the nicest people, or they're not always going to be— they haven't been given what they need to be the better version of parenting or the better versions of themselves, or, you know, whatever traumas or whatever they had, and they just can't give it to you. It's not there. It's not available. So the ways that you're able to find those extended family members, that those friends that become extended family members is you must put yourself out there. Go to the library, start educating yourself, go take classes, start being around people, go to, um, you know, a dance class, go to a reading class, go to a meditation class, go to a gym. Um, you have to meet people, allow yourself— even at work, you know, don't just shield yourself to your cubicle just to do you know, what is required of you from 8 to 5, you know, go hang out at the— when they have special events, you know, where they sell it, what they're doing, luncheons or, you know, and their networking events. Go and meet people because you'll be surprised with those little, those little momentary introductions, how they can actually evolve to something absolutely beautiful. And one of the things that I can say is in as For me personally, um, Vanessa and I, uh, how Vanessa and I met, um, she was running her nonprofit and she was looking for someone to contract with to, uh, help her with a program that she was putting together that happened to be, um, theater and production. And, uh, without going into all the details, I could let her expound a little bit more on that, but without going into all the details, it was love at first sight down there. Excuse me, I wasn't supposed to cuss. It was love at first sight, darn near. Okay, you can edit that out later.

Um, this is just real. This is just— is this real?

No, we're keeping it all the way real, you know. We're not— listen, we're not here.

This is not on the podcast.

Yes, this is a podcast and we keeping it real. There's no fake. Nobody wants to deal with anybody that's going to give them fluff and fake. We're not doing that. This is absolutely 100% real. But what I want to say is Yeah, it was love at first sight, and we just never stopped talking, and it nurtured and grew from there. So you could— you'd be surprised, you can find it in all the, all the different places. You never know, because God has a funny way of bringing people, people, spaces, and places into your, into your, um, circle that for what exactly what you need in that moment in time. So You know, just don't be closed-minded to it. And also, too, you have to have a little bit of trust. Don't— you know, people have to earn trust. You don't have to give away trust, okay? But you have to have enough trust to make the first step to realize that perhaps this might be something that could be good for me. This might be an ingredient to help me to get to where I'm going.

Yes, absolutely. So one of the reasons why I really was so excited about having you on is because a lot of people who are going on any journey in their life, a lot of us are going through it from our pain and our hurt. And with what you teach, it's like how to not allow that to stop you from pursuing your goal, pursuing what's in your heart. Because sometimes we're like, I'm going through so much right now, I don't have time for that, I don't want it, this is not it, I just, I'm just so devastated. That I can't move forward. But we want to let people know that you can move forward, whatever it is, whether— whatever it is that you want to do, right? Whatever it is. Because that is one of the things that I believe, that this is— the Earth to me is a learning ground. We've come down here to learn things. And so we have to push through. And one of their books and information that Ms. Val gives is how to push through, how not to give up, how to have that patience, how to have that love, how to keep going. And so with her books and her courses that she's going to be offering, it's like regardless of wherever you are in the nonprofit— that's one of the reasons why I wanted to start my club is because it was challenging, it was hard, it was struggling. You want to— and you, you cry, you sleep at— you can't sleep at night. It's like, where do you go? And so what— whatever it is, she can help you through it. Whether we're— where you're— your child is a teen and you're just like, oh my gosh, or you're having a As we talked about a premature child, you're like, oh my God, are you going through divorce? Are you going through— because a lot of people I've seen that started non-profits, they may start off and then boom, these life happens.

And how do you—

yes, when life happens, as life is happening, keep living and keep pushing forward. And don't— and then what she's going to teach us about how to keep that mindset, because it does, it's like keeping that mind, and that mind and heart coherence, right? Don't separate them, but don't let your ego overcome your heart, right? And sometimes we do, we let that— our ego and our mind overcome our heart, right?

So it's really just right there, you, you said it, you, you know what you just said, Vanessa, is, is a, um, is a key point that I just want to elaborate a little bit on. You know, when you said the ego, the ego, that mind It is the mind, okay? It is the mind. I mean, years ago, um, there was a book written, The Battlefield of the Mind. It was by Joyce Meyer, um, and, and I don't know how many people have actually read it. It was some very good reading. Uh, I mean, definitely, um, it was, um, bound— when you're bound is what I mean by that— bound-breaking, um, commentary that happened with it. But what I want to say is Um, absolutely. Um, it's about resilience, it's about tenacity, it's about determination, it's about crying, it's about no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much you got to suck a punch, no matter how much they— you might have got a right hook, it's about all of that. And what I mean by that, I don't mean physically, but even though there are women and men also now that are— have physical abuse, that that does actually happen. And we want to say still reach out for that too, because you're going to need that mindset too. You are— it starts in your mind when the moments come that have that self-doubt. That's from just being beat down. That's from sometimes not having the support system behind you like we were talking about, not having family that is your bloodline, but, you know, waiting for the extended family to come. But what do you do while you're waiting for the people to get there? You have to be able to self-talk. You have to be able to ground yourself. You have to be able to plant your feet. And you have to know that if you do that, no matter how it feels, no matter how it feels— back to what I just said at the— with the Clark Sisters and their song that, that started me a long time ago with that journey— if you cannot run Then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. But by all means, keep moving. And so, but are there things, are there strategies and things that you could do to help you to get to that? Because you say, I'm not strong like that, I'm not strong like that, I don't feel it, I can't get there, I can't. That's okay. Nobody said that you have to be strong like that because that's in your mind. But what's gonna happen is, even the good book says, when you are weak, say I'm strong. Okay, mindset again, where the mind actually meets the mouth. What are you professing? What are you declaring? What are you saying in your life? What matters? What is, what is empowering you? What is empowering you to move from this situation from good to great?

Okay, absolutely.

Absolutely. Stay with it, baby. Stay with it.

Stay with it.

We're here to help soar right on through all that. Okay, there are strategies, simply strategies, like anything else you learn. When you first start on a new job, you have to read a policy and procedure manual, correct? Um, you have to understand how the company policy is, so you have to go through training. It's the same thing. Life doesn't always give you a training manual, but does it? Yes, we do have training manuals to help you along the way. Now, we are in an age right now that is informative, more information than we've had access to in any other time in history. So allow yourself to grab a hold of it while it's right in front of you. Utilize it. Work it, work it one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. That's all you have the energy to do. That's all you have within you. One minute at a time, one second at a time. But boy, I tell you, if you keep doing it, just like a runner's wind, you will get a second wind. And it is going to be a pleasure to share, to make sure that you guys are provided, um, some of my affirmations to help you along the way. And you'll have my contact information as well. And, uh, you reach out to me. Yes, reach out.

Absolutely. And her information will be down below this video, um, for any information. I mean, from— and then if you guys get below her video, you want her book, make sure, because it's dropping soon. So make sure you You click the link below so you can get onto her list, so you'll be one of the first to know as soon as that book drops. So one of the things I like to do is I have, um, I like to— I'm going to be doing over with, um, everyone on the podcast is I have these interview decks. And so you just pull a card out of the interview deck and you answer the question that comes up.

Okay.

Okay. So I'd like to ask you a question. Okay. So what 3-3— what 3 things would you leave in a time capsule for people to open in 50 years?

What 3 things would I leave in a time capsule for people to open in 50 years, huh? That's really interesting because, um, I know that 50 years from now it's going to be, uh, such, such a major difference in the world that we actually live in. I mean, for sure, the, the cars that are flying. I think, you know, they've already developed them now, cars that actually fly. But, um, I think I would have to start with, um, a photo album because I think they won't exist anymore. Um, a photo album, a Bible, and, um, a mustard seed.

Okay, okay. And why a mustard seed?

Well, the representation of that little mustard seed, it is so tiny, but it produces one of the largest trees you ever want to see. Yeah. And if you can believe just that little, little, little bit— I know sometimes you're like, but I did believe that bit. But did you? But did you? Did you hang in there till you got to the end to see what your belief was going to result in? So not doubting that you didn't believe, but that little mustard seed represents hope. It represents change. It represents wholeness. It represents The greater, the big, going from little bitty, little bitty something to a big old everything.

Okay, okay, that's beautiful. And if anybody else want to answer that question, go ahead and pop your answers in the, the feed. Yeah, absolutely. The 3 things that you would leave in that capsule to be opened in 50 years. So go ahead and pop it in.

So I have to ask you the same question. Oh, I have to ask you guys. I know you want me to ask her, so I'm going to ask her. If it were you and you had to leave it in that time capsule, 3 things, 50 years to be revealed, what would it be?

What would I leave 50 years to be revealed? Um, that is very, very— it is a very hard question. I would leave a, um I will leave a DVD player with the DVD, so people with, with information on it for people to play. Um, I would leave— oh, it's so hard because—

do you have a DVD player? Do you actually have a DVD player?

I do have a DVD player.

Okay, well, right on! That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah. For those of you that don't know what that is, I would leave a DVD player with all the recordings on it. I would leave a map. I will leave a map because things are going to change so much, but I will leave a map to show people how to have patience and love, and that, that shows them that love is the number one thing that you must have. And if you have that love you will conquer everything. So I would leave that. Um, and the third thing I would leave is, um, some organic vegetable seeds.

Oh yes, absolutely, feed them!

Yes, organic vegetable seeds. So those are the three things that I would leave.

Awesome, awesome. Pardon me one sec.

So if you guys, if you guys got anything, we know this is our first video, we know we were just talking and just having a good time. Um, if there's things that you want to know, you're interested in, leave it below. We'll make sure that— and I'll make sure that we touch on these in the podcast. If you can hit the subscribe so you'll be the first to know when I'm popping on. Um, I look— and there's any other thing you need to know, it's going to be down here. I can't tell you what's all going to be down there, but you can leave it down there.

Well, you can know, you can know that there are going to be some links that you guys will be able to tap on for both Vanessa and myself. Um, and, uh, and also too, that I believe, if I'm not being too forward, and I can actually do this too because this is like I tell you, this is my BFF, but I'm just telling, um, this is the, the first, uh, many that we, a podcast that we'll be doing because we do want to kind of segue into um, help you guys understand, um, uh, a couple details, give you a couple of nuggets. Um, you know, it's like, okay, well, this is a great podcast, but what do I do now? Is there anything you can tell me that I could do right now? Okay, well, I know that I just shared with you— I shared with you almost 4 things that you could actually do, and that was to plant your feet, to center yourself, um, and to find a place to meditate, find a place that to go and empower yourself, go to a library, read, you know, um, have to feed your brain. So the more positive you put in, you push the negative out. Okay, so just know that I want you to take that with you. I'm, I'm here to inspire and motivate you to be the best version of who you are beyond challenges, beyond, um, life's turns and tribulations and all the things that, um, sometimes might seem like it's day to day, okay? And all— and, and look, and, and, you know, we all know it doesn't matter your socioeconomic class. It does not matter. We all go through life, okay, life challenges. You can start out on the top. I mean, you've seen many, many celebrities that started out super strong and because of addictive behaviors or, you know, for whatever reasons, you know, then all of a sudden you read in the tabloid about them. Life happens, but you're not determined to stay there. That doesn't define who you are.

You—

that does not define who you are. You can pick up, start again, move forward, and get to your best place. And I just want to leave you with that.

Thank you. Thank you. This has been so wonderful. And so we look forward to seeing you again. We will see you at the same time next week. And, um, if you have any— and peace, love, and wisdom to you all.