The V Spot Halloween Edition

Welcome to the VSpot, your home for the e-com nearly news. I like nuts since it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is necessary ingredient in living. Happy Halloween, and it is probably no coincidence that Zuck scared us all this week, reminded us how great they are at tech, but how terrible they are at product. The new Ray-Bans made Attack of the Nerds look more like a horror movie than a top-shelf comedy. Amazon blamed AI for their layoffs, not the layoffs themselves, but their crassly pulled-together PR shtick, which told us that they are GLP-1ing their workforce in the hope that GPT will be a better option. Long live the workforce, we say. Let's do the news. Story 1: Why fit in when you were born to stand out? Walmart got in scary mood this week when they announced not one but two Black Friday events in the month of November. Not only one Cyber Monday event. Weird. Dates and places vary for the two events in a plan that seems like it was executed by the new Black Friday muse, Dr. Seuss. Rumor was they considered changing the name of the event to Green Eggs and Ham. Friday. Story 2: Gymshark are continuing their US expansion and going in a direction that would make your eyes, lips, face water. They adopted a Dick's First policy. They will be launching their gym wear in 12 Dick's stores with gear tailored to the outdoor market. Dick's are the first US retailer to wholesale the brand. I like the sound of that discount. Story 3: Cookie cutter approach it ain't. Cookie cutter maker, yeah, This is a thing. Anne Clark saw the episodes of The Simpsons two decades ago where they saw the foreseeing of Donald Trump presidency. Upon doing so, they pulled manufacturing back from abroad into Vermont where their long-term bets are now coming to fruition. Everything that they make is sourced in the US, save parchment paper, which is sourced from France. C'est la vie. The American dream though is alive and well. Story 4: Festive news now, and target revealed. Hot Santa is back, but this year he dropped the keto diet and took on GLP-1. And while the jury is out, Hot Santa may just be Santa this year, but we are told he is happy in himself. Good for him. Story 5: eBay earnings were out this week. This is the first time they have had a quarter north of $20 billion in GMV. Also, a tree fell in the woods and there was no one there to hear it. We ask, did it make any sound? Story 6: Shopify came up smelling of roses midweek as they announced their strategic partnership with the Estée Lauder Group to help reimagine digital beauty commerce. What could go wrong? It is a marquee name for the Canadian tech company who are standing down MrBeast as the face and beard of Enterprise logos. Story 7: Plucky coffee chain Starbucks have started to slow the rot after turning several quarters of decline into growth. CEO Brian Nichols said that he will continue on his mission to simplify the menu. Here's a cliff note, Brian: today I am ordering Trenta half-decaf quad shot ristretto oat milk extra hot upside down caramel macchiato with 5 pumps sugar-free vanilla, 3 pumps toffee nut, 2 pumps hazelnut, no foam, light whip, extra caramel drizzle, and cinnamon dolce topping. Story 8 in this bumper episode: UPS job cuts reach 34,000 this year, aided largely by driver buyouts. The delivery giant also shuttered 93 buildings this year as it adjusts its US network from its addiction to Amazon volume. Sorry, due to a reduction in its Amazon volume, not addiction. And finally this week, Dole Foods has partnered with Minecraft on a multi-phase global campaign designed around good news, healthier lifestyles. Mostly this is great news, but we caught up with members of the unions representing the Piglin army who are said to be disgusted at this imposition it puts them in. Many workers will now have to leave the Nether and head to the Overworld to fetch greens and vegetables from quiet-spoken villagers. Pillaging and violence is said to have dropped by 70%, and this is to be agreed before a green is even taken. On the other side, the union representing the villagers too are upset, suggesting their locked and folded arms makes it hard to do the 100 push-ups a day being assigned to them in this mandatory agreement between the warring factions. You cannot please everyone, I guess. We're buzzing to keep rolling with our sponsorship with Omnisend email platform. That's officially Vinny O Brien proof. No needless jargon, no alphabet soup of nonsense. Just one acronym that matters: ROI. $68 in invest— $68 return for every $1 invested spent on email. I reach out to them for a partner meeting before being told to fuck off. It is Black Friday month. That's pretty accurate. Fool— more fool me. This was politely followed up with a service rating email. You can't beat the system. There is the 6 minutes you're not getting back this week. You've been watching the the VSpot.