Excerpt from a conversation (YouTube) between Gretchen Rubin and Vishen Lakhiani discussing how tactile objects and small rituals (holding a pen, a cup, a cold bottle, petting animals, soft blankets) can ground people and reduce anxiety. Speakers share personal anecdotes and examples from photographers, actors, hospice care, and everyday habits.
Chapters
Often people find something to hold and that will ground them. A photographer said that his subjects are nervous getting their picture taken, and so he'll give them, like, a wine glass or a bunch of grapes. And he said once they have that, they ground it. A lot of actors want to have a prop that they hold. Some don't like it, but then some feel like it releases it. I had a habit that I never understood. I always want to hold a pen, even if I'm at, like, a cocktail party. When you're like, Gretchen, you don't need to take notes here. Why do you have a pen in your hand? You just feels right to me. I feel better when I have a pen in my hand. Somebody said that she gets kind of hot when she's anxious and she feels like she's floating out of her body. So she holds a very cold water bottle with ice water in it, and the coldness and just the weight of it gives her something to hold. There's something very.
Grounding that's so interesting. I never even realized I was doing this, but I stroke my beard a lot.
There you go.
Stroking my beard. Calms me down. Calms me down. And if I'm working, I need a hot cup of tea or coffee.
And do you curve your spirit?
Exactly. Exactly. I need. When I'm holding a cup. When I'm holding a cup, there's something grounding about it.
Yes.
And now I understand why.
Yes. Kind of along the same lines as petting a cat or a dog.
Right.
Somebody was telling me that at hospice, they'll often have, like, very, like, soft, fluffy blankets because people just like something comforting to hold, something warm and soft.
