A psychotherapist argues 95% of people exhibit mental illness and suggests treating insulters as psychiatric patients to avoid taking offense. He emphasizes words have lasting impact, then closes with a parable about a Kuala Lumpur bus driver and preacher to show what really matters in how people remember you.
Chapters
As a psychotherapist, and I know a lot of psychiatrists and counselors and a lot of people in the helping professions are aware of one statistic, and that is that 95% of the world's population suffers from one kind of mental illness or another. We call this loose class of illnesses schizophrenia. Now, the loose definition is this. Schizophrenia is the inability to tell what is real from what is imagined, what is fantasy from what is reality. And therefore, people go through their lives thinking that what they imagine is real. And they go through all kinds of psychosis. And that's where people like me come in, and that's where we start to help them. But at the same time, we're also told that maybe in this crowd, especially that one in four people are mentally unsound. I want you to form a picture of three of your best friends right now. If they are all normal, then you are the one. Now, why did I say that? Because the reason why I'm happy all the time, the reason why I make no judgments all the time, is because I'm aware that Earth is one of the largest mental institutions on Earth. I mean, look, there's no other place, but. Yeah, and when somebody. When you walk by a mental institution and somebody screams at you, hey, ugly. Hey, you're a waste of space. Hey, you are a cockroach. You're crap brains. Do you take them seriously? No. Why? Because they're mentally ill. And understand that those people who do that to you are not in their right minds. So don't take it personally. There's something wrong with them. Do what I do. I take a step back in case they're dangerous, and I put my hand up and I go, okay, now, there's two reasons for this. I want you to hold your right hand up. Now put your hand like this. Now, when somebody screams at you and calls you names, I want you to imagine in your mind, don't say it because you'll cause problems. Think you are this far from a mental institute. And you know how some people get very angry with you when people lose their temper to a point where they're spitting you and all of that, that's when you close your fingers and go, you're already there. Now, when you say, okay, it came from the First World War, okay? They had no telephones and no lines. All radios were down and they could only use hand signals. And after a battle, someone had to signal headquarters in a relay about how many people were killed. Usually they'll put up their fingers. Four were killed, two were Killed today. Six were killed today. But when a zero killed, they'd put it up like this, zero killed today. So that's why I take a step back and I say, okay. And I just do that. And I'm very, very sympathetic, and I do my best to help them as much as possible. So I have only five minutes here, and I want to make a very important point, because you have to see yourself as a contributor to someone's mental health by the things you say and the things you do. Always be aware that whatever comes out of your mouth today is going to ring in someone's head 20 years from now, and you won't know it. The change will come later. You know, that thing you said at the Awesomeness Fest in Dubrovnik changed my whole life. And that's 10 years later. Teachers go through this as well. When you start teaching, you don't know the changes you make until much, much later. So please, every positive thing from your mouth, as much as possible. And if you're tempted to react to people, think of yourself as in a mental institute. Would you shout back at those patients? Would you? No. So don't. Don't respond. And that's why I'm mostly happy all the time. That's why you see me smiling. Those of you who've talked to me and I've stepped back, you know why. Now, let me end with this story, because I don't have that much time. How many people have been to Mindvalley headquarters? How many people have been to Kuala Lumpur? Great. Kuala Lumpur. The traffic jams and murder. You have to get around by riding in one of these minibuses. And these minibus drivers are trained to kill. They drive on the sidewalks and aim for passengers. One day, Malaysia's number one preacher of God and a Kuala Lumpur bus driver died in an accident. The first man came up to St. Peter at the gate, and St. Peter said, who are you? And the man said, I am a Kuala Lumpur bus driver. And the doors of heaven opened and he walked in and there was celebration, confetti everywhere. They held him up on the shoulders, treated him like a hero. Then the next man came up to the gate and St. Peter said, who are you? And the man said, I am Malaysia's number one preacher of God. I preach the word of God everywhere. But the gate stayed shut, and he was very angry. You let a Kuala Lumpur bus driver into heaven and you left me out? Explain yourself. So St. Peter, standing behind this great pulpit, says to him, reverend, when you stand in this pulpit and preach the word of God, people fall asleep. But when this man gets into his bus, everybody prays to God. So we let him in one sentence, people do people celebrate your coming into their lives, or do they celebrate when you leave?
