How To Breathe Into Fearlessness | Cecilia Sardeo

Have you ever noticed, guys, that there are mainly two breaths that we tend to focus on throughout our entire life? Literally, there is this first beautiful breath that a new baby takes from this newly formed lungs the moment she enters the world. And then there is this final dying breath, right? The one that signifies the end of our journey on this planet, at least as we know it. But what about all the breaths in between? Do you even think about those breaths at all? Do they mean nearly as much to you as that very first breath and that very last when you think of them? As a matter of fact, I am taking a nice deep breath right here in front of you because I'm about to share something not just quite personal, but something I've never shared with a lot of people and definitely never on stage. See, although I've been incredibly health conscious, some people might say obsessed, for over the past five years, practicing yoga, mindfulness and meditation on a daily basis. Living in incredible places from Bali to India, to deepen my experience around harmony and balance in life. There was a time in my life when harmony and balance were not even words that my brain could recognize. A time in my life when I was at least. At least 44 pounds heavier than I am today. And 44 pounds might not sound like a big deal, but it was a huge deal for a teenager that. That was trying to find her place in the world. Someone who was just trying to be loved and accepted. That's a picture of me around five years ago and that's a picture of me now. Well, that's big Cecy, when she was already starting her journey towards a healthier life. Thank God. At that time, Facebook wasn't a thing for my self esteem. Plus I used to cut every picture that I possibly had from every angle until eventually there was nothing left to see except probably my face. And by the way, any of you ever done that? You cut a little piece of your arm and then you cut a little bit of your belly and then you cut your legs entirely and then you swap the direction of the picture before sharing it with the world just to make sure that you are sharing the most authentic version of yourself. Any of you ever done that? Yeah. Okay. Thanks for not making me feel like I'm the only one. And by the way, this conversation between you and me today has nothing to do with me losing weight. In fact, I am pretty sure that was just a side effect of my life naturally transforming picture for a few seconds. A beautiful day at the beach. White sand, gentle breeze, bright sun, clear blue sky. And then A chubby woman in her 20s sunbathing, all covered up in layers of summer scarves, towels and T shirts. Her friends are having the time of their life swimming in the water, and they are begging her to join, but she politely declines every invitation. She glanced at them with a fake but very well played self confidence, and she says something on the lines of, you guys go ahead. You know, I've got some real sensitive skin issues here. I can't get into the salty water. I can't get exposed to the sun. You know that, right? So just have fun. I'm just going to have a lot of fun just watching you. Then she grabbed the sunscreen bottle and she put some more of that white dance lotion on her face because she needs to be super credible. Because her friends should never even suspect that she's making that whole story up, because she doesn't want them to see her body. A body she hates. A body she feels represents everything she doesn't want. A body she feels trapped in. But you know what? Looking back now, I realize that being overweight was just the least of my worries. There was a much bigger challenge that I needed to face, and the sooner the better. In fact, I wasn't just overweight, I was also homeless. And don't get me wrong, I actually had a beautiful, gorgeous place to live. But the thing is, I was never there to live in it. With this and this. I was always stuck living in a freaking future that didn't even exist yet. Most of the times it was a scary future. A future where nobody would ever love me or accept me should they realize what kind of body I was covering up under all those layers of clothes. Sometimes, quite rarely, it looked more like a beautiful dream. A nicer future to cuddle myself into. A future where I could be loved no matter what. But either way, I was always missing out on the only thing that was truly mine. The only thing that I really had, the only home I had, the only place from where I could take action, real action, to make sure that that scary future would never become a reality. And the place from where I could take action to make sure that that beautiful future could actually become true. And that was the present moment. The here and the now. I'm sure I'm not alone. Think about it for a second. Where and how in your life are you homeless? Where in your life are you stuck living in a future that doesn't even exist yet, but it scares you to the point that keeps you from taking any action in the present moment, any action towards Your dreams. And where in your life are you chasing an ideal future? A future that keeps moving in time like the horizon does in space, leaving you empty handed, no matter how fast you keep running, running after it. Because yes, it's crucial to have a vision for the future. But the only place from where you can make it happen is the present moment. During my restless journey, desperately looking for a home, a home that was always there under my nose. I just couldn't see it. I was shocked to realize that this solution was so much closer than I thought. And I'd always been there. I just was too, too distracted to actually realize that. And it's going to sound deceptively simple. See, when we think of the action of breathing, we quite often think of that action of coming to life on the very first day and dying on the very last. But we keep forgetting that we have the power to choose to come to life every single day. We experience the miracle of waking up. And we also have the power to die a little every single day. Like that day for me on the beach. And it wasn't just one day. It was many days in a row, for many years, years and days when I was literally holding my breath because I was so concerned and worried about what other people could possibly think of me. I was blocking the life force that was keeping me alive. How crazy was that? And for me, it was only when I shifted my focus onto that moment by moment, breath, that moment by moment, action and choice, that everything started to change. Because I was finally more present. Not all the times, of course, that would mean to be Buddha, but most of the times, or at least as many times as I possibly could. And everybody talks about presence right? From ancient to modern to contemporary philosophers and personal growth gurus. Everybody advised you to be more present to the point that we became a cliche. But unlike in many other cliches, presence never, ever loses its power. I strongly believe presence remains the key to live an extraordinary life. Think about it for a second. It's through presence that we can make healthier choices every single day about who we hang out with, what do we eat, what do we drink, what do we do? And what is a healthier choice other than a conscious choice? A choice that we make while we pay attention to it instead of running on autopilot. But presence is also what allows us to create deeper connections with people around us. And what's more important than that in life, presence is what allows us to see the unexpected opportunities even in the midst of the most unexpected challenges in life. And Presence is what keeps us safe here and now so that we can find the strength and the power to get out of our comfort zone and make those dreams come true. Yeah. See, one of the reasons why I realized I was always homeless, I was homeless for so long, is that I always thought that something was at risk in an immediate future. I always thought I wasn't safe. My pride, my love, my acceptance. But when I finally brought prices into the equation, everything started to change. Because I realized one key, powerful thing. And realize that in the present moment, nothing can hurt you. Not the expectations of others and not their opinions about you. So how do we get more present? See, one thing I realized lately is that there is a strong connection between breathing and being present. Breathing is such a powerful thing in our life. In fact, we don't even have to think about it for it to happen. And that's a good thing. Because with the amount of times we get lost into our smartphones nowadays, probably if we had to remind ourselves to breathe, we would be all dead of minutes. And they would come up with an app to remind ourselves to breathe. But if we forget to update it, we'd be dead anyway. But the other really cool thing about the breath is that even though we don't have to think about it for it to happen, when we pay attention to it, we can't help but be present. Thich Nhat Hanh says, when your mind is there with your body, you are established in the present moment and the mental chatter just stops. And that is the miracle of the practice. And that is also the miracle that I personally discovered through my yoga practice. Not just the kind of fitness and calisthenic type of yoga that the Western world got so obsessed with lately. Yes, that's an important part. If you come and practice yoga tomorrow morning, you will see the physical part of yoga. It's an important part of the journey. But if you stop there, you're missing out on the best part. And you know what the best part is? It's what Thich Nhat Thanh talks about. It's that connection between your mind and your body that is established when you pay attention to your breathing. Because you start paying attention to everything you are doing, you stop running on autopilot. And that's what I call the biohacking power of yoga. Dave yesterday talked about gratitude as a free biohack. And I love how the dots connect. To be grateful, you gotta be present. And to be present, you gotta pay attention to your breathing. That's gonna help you tremendously. And I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. In fact, it's not going to be easy. And it takes effort, it takes discipline, it takes consistent work. And it's so much easier when you are in a selected tribe like this where all the people around you are ready to remind you that your home is so much closer than you think it is when you feel lost. But if the day on the beach, I would have told my friends, hey guys, I've got some real issues with this immediate future of mine and I have issues being present and blah, blah, blah, they would have looked at me like an alien and probably mumbling something along the lines of, what the heck is wrong with you? Just come into the water, Hippo. And hippo was another one of those cute nicknames, wasn't it? Long story short, I had to travel to Bali and India just to find my tribe, only to realize how hard it was to keep it with me wherever I was going. And so at some point I thought, what if I create a tribe that I can access to wherever I am going? So I came back to Malaysia, shared this idea with Vishen, and together we launched zanward, which, yes, zanwar.com is an amazing online yoga platform. You can practice yoga on the mat and that's. But what's even more powerful is the tribe and the community that we have created around Zenward. A community of people who is ready to unconditionally support and be unconditionally supported. Because that also requires courage to realize and to be open to the idea that you can be supported and sometimes you just need to be supported. A tribe of people that will allow you to shift from a fear based future to a love based present. No matter how big, small, short, tall and injured, stiff or bendy you think you are. So whether you like yoga or you tried it before and you thought that's not my thing, I would love to invite you to check out Zanware just to see if the tribe that we have built here will resonate with you. Last summer, after long yoga, full immersion, I remember feeling so freaking tense and stressed out. My breath was shallow. I was so scared I would lose that sense of presence that in Bali is so easy to achieve. And I was so worried about going back to the real world. So I came to my teacher just to say goodbye. And he must have sensed the desperation on my face because he stood still, like really still. And then he looked straight into my eyes so deeply and lovingly and he said something I'll never forget. He said Ceci, if you knew that your life was measured by the quality of breaths you take more than the number of days you lived, how would you breathe from now on? And I still get goosebumps just thinking of it. I just remember feeling so incredibly peaceful all of a sudden. I took this nice, deep breath that opened my chest and firmly grounded me into the present moment. And I knew it. I knew that from then on, my breath could guide me, my breath could support me, my breath could keep me safe, could help me feel strong, and could help me build that tribe that I eventually built, that I could access no matter where I was going. My breath is what allowed me to share this story with you today, but your breath is what will allow you to come alive and to choose to come alive in any and every moment you choose. So, guys, I challenge you. I challenge you to. To wake up, come alive, and make every single breath count. At least for this couple of next few days in Greece, but possibly, possibly for the rest of your life. Thank you.