How To Turn Your Fear Into Fuel | Lisa Nichols

So I love the conversation that we get to have. I love where the conversation gets to go. We're talking about biohacking and how you get to change your reality, how you get to control and design it. And I think that's wonderful because I think we're doing that. I know I've been doing it much longer than I knew the word. I've been designing and redesigning and redesigning. Anyone else? And redesigning and redesigning. Come on, hold your hands up high if that's you. And redesigning and redesigning and redesigning. Right? And looking at the blueprint called me and what works and what doesn't work and embracing what works and embracing what didn't work and accepting that some things will be for a season and that a season could be three months, three years or 13 years, and then redesigning it not only financially, spiritually, emotionally and physically. And so today I want to address how do you biohack the fear? And it's funny that I would be having this conversation because for so long I wasn't afraid of my possibility of failing. I was afraid that it might work. Anybody else know what I'm talking about? Okay, I'm in the right room. Make sure I made a right where I should have made a right up those heels. And so I just want to, for a moment, I want us to be okay talking about fear because when we talk about it, we can disseminate it, we can minimize it into the nothingness that it always was. But first we have to be willing to step into it. And this conversation, when you talk about biohacking, changing our body, changing the way it operates for us, if that has not been my journey, omg. But I also have to biohack my mindset around money. Anybody else, that's a good thing for, right? And I have to also biohack my mindset around my worthiness of long term love. Anybody about that? Oh, I'm so in the right room with all my brothers and sisters and so many things. Biohack my conversation, my belief around me as a black woman, being able to touch the world and touch people of other cultures from 38 different countries that I'm worthy of that, like constantly. And as you chip away and no one change, no one transformation happens all at once. So it's not 180 degree turn. It's not like you have this amazing breakthrough. The ceiling opens up, lights come down and you hear the angels sing. Oh, you are now changed. It just, uh, it just ain't happening like that. It's gonna be in small needlepoint moves. And my prayer for you is that in this time that we have together, that I help to create a small needlepoint move for you. And then if we choose to play together more and learn from each other more, then I can create another needlepoint move for you. But I know that today my life is barely recognizable. Say, barely recognizable. Barely recognizable. I like the way you put that B. Barely recognizable. It's barely recognizable one needlepoint move at a time. And so when I look at the conversation that shows up around fear, it's so powerful. For fear is the one thing that will keep you paralyzed. If you notice, whenever someone is frightened you, like, you walk in a room and someone scares you, you go. And until you know you're okay, you don't breathe again. And then you go, oh, you scared the daylights out of me. Right? Nothing starts moving until the fear has moved away unless we have and we shift our relationship to fear. So I want to pose, and I want to create the possibility of actually shifting our relationship to fear. Can we entertain that idea? Yes or yes? Okay, hold on. Let me tell you guys a little something about me. So I'm a dialogue kind of girl. I'm not here to entertain y', all, though I will be entertaining. I'm here for your breakthrough. I'm not here just to do you. I'm here. I'm not here to just talk to you. I'm here for a conversation. So some of you know me, you know that I like. Yes. Yes. And let me tell you why. When I'm in church and I say something they love, they say, amen, but we're not in church. When I'm with my girls and I say something that they like, they say, oh, you go, girl. But don't worry. I'm not gonna do that to you. I know you're in the front row. I know you'd hang with me. I know you'd hang with me. But I won't do it to you. When I say something that resonates with you, I want you to say, yes. Yes. I want that second yes to be louder than the first yes. I want that second second yes to make you have to sit up in your chair a little bit. Now, this isn't a shtick. I do. This isn't just something I do to have the Lisa Nichols brand. I'll tell you why I do it in a minute, but I want you to play full out. I want that second yes to cost you something. I want that first yes Here I want that second yes. Here, let's try it on the count of three. One, two, three. Yes. Yes. See, only a fest starts out like that. Oh, my God. When I'm like, at Wells Fargo. Oh, my God. Or Prudential or. I'm like. They're like, yes. Yes. I'm like, dude, loosen your tie, like I said, screaming. They're like, yes. Yes. I'm like, no. No. So I want that second yes to be a yes that you didn't expect to say this morning when you got up and got dressed. I want that second yes to come from your belly. I want that second yes to be that yes that you own unapologetically. Let's try it again. 1, 2, 3. Yes. Yes. Every time I say something that resonates with you, I want you to say yes. Yes. Every time you hear your truth, I want you to say yes. Yes. Every time you hear something, even if it stings and don't feel good, I still want you to say yes. Yes. Even if your neighbor's not participating, I still want you to say yes. Yes. And when we leave this room and you go and you have dinner and you dance and someone says something that feels good to you, I want you to say yes. Yes. And even when you leave this place and something feels good to your soul, I still want you to say yes. Yes. I want to hear you all the way from Cali, I want you to say yes. Yes. And even when you have a dream and you don't know how you're going to get there, but you know what the dream is, I still want you to hear yourself say yes. Yes. With no one being your witness, I'm not gonna keep doing this. It's your turn. Even if no one agrees with you, still say yes. Yes. Even if you have to walk alone, still say yes. Yes. Even when it feels like you have no idea how you're gonna make it happen, still say yes. Yes. Now, let me tell you why the second yes is higher than the first yes. Because the first yes is to you. It's to your dream. The first yes is that idea that you can contain in your head. The second yes is to the calling on your life. That second yes is to the biggest version of you that you haven't even seen yet. That second yes is going to cost you something. That second yes is going to require you to let go of some old toxic habits and some old toxic beliefs. It's gonna require you to release some of the fear you have and hold on to your passion. That second yes is gonna require you to become someone you haven't even seen yet. It's gonna require you to say the things you haven't said and do the things you haven't done so that you can become the man, the woman you've always known yourself to be. Yes. Yes. That was the cue up. That was your first test. You got. You passed. And so that second yes has to be a little bit louder and sometimes a lot louder than the first yes, depending on where you're stepping into your next season. And so I just stopped by seven days ago. I was in Australia, and five days ago, I was in Cincinnati, and three days ago, I was in Cali. And then I got on a plane, came here, and jumped right on stage as soon as I landed. And when I leave here on Monday, I'm home for a couple of days, and then I go to New York. I literally just stopped by, but I stopped by to ignite your fire. I stopped by to have you confront fear. I stopped by to have you look at what it's cost you and to make a bold declaration. The next time it rise up, you rise up a little bit higher than it. I stopped by for you to no longer make fear your enemy, but make fear. Make fear your fuel. Yeah, Just yell it. You don't have to wait for my permission. You can. You can yell yes, yes. Over me. I don't mind. I stopped by to redefine fear. To redefine it, because fear is an emotion like any other emotion. Fear is an emotion like love, like compassion. Fear is an emotion. We just gave it more power. We just gave it more power. Compassion. Oh, that's nice. Fear. Ooh. We gave it a meaning. And some of you know, you've heard this before, that fear is false evidence appearing real. Fear is just a story. Get this. Fear is a story that you've told yourself about something that might happen in the future, that you have zero evidence that it will happen, but it's causing a visceral effect in your body. Now it's time to literally biohack the impact that fear has had on you. That fear no longer becomes your fortress. Fear becomes your fuel. Fear is that thing that pushes you forward. Fear is the thing that reminds you, oh, I need to go get more information. Oh. Fear will keep you up at night studying. Fear will take you to a coach or a mentor. Fear will cause you to eat a slice of humble pie. Fear is not your enemy. Fear is your friend. Fear reminds you that you have not arrived to the top of the mountain. That you are still climbing with the rest of us. Fear is your friend. What have you allowed it to do in your life? Some of you have allowed fear to have you stand on the edge of your greatness and look like you're about to jump into a game of double Dutch. Okay, hold on. Hold on. Keep turning. Hold on. Hold on. I'm about to jump in right now. Hold on. I gotta wait till the kids graduate from high school. Come on, y'. All. You gotta say yes. Yes. When I said, hold on. Hold on. I'm about to jump in. I'm about to jump into my greatness. I just gotta wait till I earn more money. Hold on, hold on. Hold on. Come on, you guys. Hold on. I'm about to jump into my grin. I have to lose a little weight. Hold on. That was just me. No, come on. Come on. I'm about to jump into my grades. Hold on. I gotta wait till the right time, like. And all of a sudden, you see life. Life is turning, going, hurry up. Jump in. We want you to play with us. And you're going, hold on. I'm about to get it all together. And fear is that thing that has you constantly rocking back and forth. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, I just came by to inspire you to jump. I came by. Fear is the willingness to hold concern, question, and doubt in one hand. But courage is the willingness to hold passion in the other. You're waiting to be without fear to jump in. And do you know, it's the very fear that will make you so deliciously beautiful at what you're doing. Cause you're going to study, you're going to stay up. I've walked the majority of my life with some form of fear inside of me. I've done the majority of the things I've done with some form of fear inside of me. See, when my son was 8 months old and I couldn't afford to put Pampers on him because I didn't have any money to buy Pampers, so I wrapped him in a towel. For two days. I looked down at my son riddled with fear, and I made a promise. Because before I would hold onto the fear, I was holding onto the passion. I said, jelani, don't worry. Mommy will never be this broke again. And with a belly full of fear and a heart full of passion, I began to regret design, the Experience called Lisa Nichols. So I just stopped by to ask, are you willing to redesign and to uplevel the design, the experience called you? What would you do if you knew you Couldn't fail. How big would you play if you knew that you can survive any heartbreak, any breakdown, any betrayal? What would you do if the things that you were afraid of, you knew were absolutely nothing? They were all opportunities for you to get stronger in your faith, stronger in your resiliency. What would you do? Who would you love? How big would you play? Where would you leap? And the bigger question is, how would the world benefit differently? How would the world benefit differently? Because who you've decided to be. How would the world be a better place to live because fear didn't have you standing on the edge? What would you do if you were told that you get to do it? Afraid. That you don't have to wait for the fear to leave. That when you get an action, the fear has to dissipate into the nothingness that it always was? What would you do? How would life be different? How would the world be a better place to live? Oh, I didn't come to keep you comfortable. I came for your breakthrough. I came to challenge you to play in the biggest field you've ever played in. I came for you to challenge the fear that might be inside of you and to redesign and reprogram it. You look at it long enough, you be with it intimately enough, and it has to dissipate. You are the designer of your destiny. You are the author of your autobiography. You write the story of your life. No one can write your financial story. No one can write your spiritual story. No one can write your emotional story. But you. The pen has always been in your hand. The pen has always been in your hand. I say write a story that's gonna be damn good to read. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes. Yes. And when you do that, you will have to reprogram the fibers of your being. You will have to become someone you've never been before. You want to go somewhere you've never gone. You got to do something you've never done. You got to say something you've never said. You got to go to a place in you that you've never even been. You get to redesign your. You are your Michelangelo. You are your greatest sculpture. And you get to recarve and you get to up level as much as you need. You're not sentenced to this life this way. You chose it. News flash. Y' all didn't say yes. Yes. Too fast on that one. Like, damn. For real? Yes. Yes. And what I love about that is, is that you get to choose as much as you want. You get to design it any way you choose you're not sentenced to your future. You have an opportunity to your future. What do you want and how do you want it? And if it doesn't make you a little afraid, then you ain't playing big enough. It's supposed. Your knees are supposed to knock a little bit. Your teeth are supposed to chatter a little bit. There's supposed to be at least two butterflies in your stomach at least. Because if not, you're playing inside your comfort zone. And we mistake the fact that we're supposed to be comfortable 24 7. Well, let me tell you something. Comfortable is equivalent to complacent. I'll choose inconvenience every day, any day, to make a difference on the planet. I don't mind being mildly to moderately to significantly inconvenience to leave my fingerprint on this planet. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I just came to talk to the game changers and to the change agents who are willing to confront any part of you that's not speaking to your madly, wildly, amazing future. Confront it. I came to talk to the change agents that are interested in evicting, Say, evicting. Evicting. Evicting. And evicting is like a hard word. Like, it just comes. Evict. That's like, get out now. That's not like leave or escort away. Like, you even say evict hard, like evict. I came to talk to the game changers that are interested in evicting, say, evicting. Evicting any fear that doesn't speak to your wild future. I just came. I came for that. I came for you to confront it, for you to get a little angry at it, for you to get a little pissed off at it. Say, wait a minute, I've been letting you drive me all this time, and you are a story that I made up about the future that doesn't even really exist. When you say I'm afraid of failure, you just made up a story about the future that doesn't even really exist. Are you guys getting that? You guys gotta understand, when you said I might get hurt in the next relationship, you made up a story about the future that doesn't even exist yet. Does that make sense? And you're powerful in any story you make up is true to you, but it's only true to you. And then you live out that story because you want to be right. Yes, yes. Yes. You don't want to be wrong. You want to be right. So you make up a story, you project it in the future, and then you live it out. Until it's true. Like, see, I told you guys. I told you guys. You'll, like, work really hard to make that story right. I just want you to know that. So I just stopped by to invite you to design a new story. I stopped by to remind you that the pen has always been in your hand, that no one else can write your story but you. And I don't know about you, but I want to write a story that when I get ready to sit down in my final years and there's nothing else I could do, that I go back and I just want to read my story. And I go, wow. I remember when I was afraid. And then I know on the next page I jumped anyway. Yeah. And then I read the next chapter and go, whoa. That really scared the heck out of me. And I know it's gonna happen on the next page. I did it anyway. Kyle, I wanna write a story full of leaping and running and jumping and serving and playing full out and falling and skinning my knees and scraping my face and hurting my heart. Because if that's the only way I can hurt and fall and scrape is to play Fallout, then I'll take the hurt. Cause what I'm really afraid of, and what you're really afraid of is getting to the end of your day, to the end of your life, and having something left to give. Saying, damn, I played safe versus full out. Mmm. I'd rather have a skin knee. I'd rather have a skin chin. I'd rather be tired. I'd rather have a bunch of failures because I took the leap than a bunch of potential because I sat down. I just stopped by to challenge your greatness. I stopped by to remind you of who you were always designed to be. I don't know if they wanted me to stay on that stage. I can do whatever I want. It's my party. But next 20 minutes is my party. I just want to be close to you. I want to remind you. See, I'm that same woman. I'm that same woman. That my highest grade in school was a C. And I think some of my teachers gave me a C because I was nice. I was a sweet girl. And I didn't. Whenever I brought home a C, my father didn't say, oh, Lisa, you could have done better. C. See, because I'm not a fast learner. I'm a thorough learner. So I need to. I need anybody else. Yes. Yes. Okay. I need to hear it several times. I need to look at every angle of it. Right? I need you to Repeat it to me. I need to repeat it to you. I need to touch it. That's just. I'm a kinesthetic learner, and school goes a little fast for that experience. And so I struggled all through school. All through school. The last time I took an English class, I gotta fail. And my English teacher said, lisa, you have to be the weakest writer that I've ever met in my entire life. Don't worry. Did you guys know I have a best seller that's out right now? It's called Abundance. Now she has a copy. So does my English teacher. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Other people's opinion of you is none of your business. Right. And so I sat inside my life. The last time I took a speech class was in my freshman year of college, which I don't want to mislead you. That was also my senior year of college. And my speech teacher said, Ms. Nichols, I recommend you get a desk job and you never speak in public. I said, okay, yeah. Let me tell you something. Some of your fears come out of something someone said about you. Some of your best motivation came wrapped in sandpaper. Some of your best motivation didn't come wrapped in love and came with warm cookies and milk. It came wrapped in sandpaper. It came wrapped in thorns. It came wrapped in that divorce. It came wrapped in a loss of a loved one. It came wrapped in something that didn't work. Some of your best motivation that you needed, Some of the best lessons that you need to learn came wrapped in sandpaper. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Your job is to take the information, to take the lesson, and to take the opportunity and use it to fuel you, not make you afraid. Yes. Yes. I look at my Life, and for 18 years, I wouldn't touch a microphone. I wouldn't do anything near speaking. As much as I love speaking. I was afraid. Say afraid. I was afraid of being judged. Anybody there? Come on. One hand up. If you're really afraid of being judged, two hands up. Some of you need to do two hands up and stand up. Come on. You know, that's that thing that drives you. I appreciate it. Thank you. I appreciate it. I was afraid of being judged. And this conversation today is about confronting your fear. Confronting your fear. And I remember for years, I wouldn't speak. People would say, God, you should be a speaker. I said, no, no, no, no. My teacher told me. My teacher said I shouldn't speak in public. And he's a speech teacher. He knows better. And so I got a job in accounting because that was far from numbers. I mean, far from people close to numbers. I was kind of far from the numbers. And today I do revenue streams and things very well, but back then, debits and credits, I could care less. I was in accounting for seven years. Anybody in accounting here pray for you. I was horrible at it. I was in collections. I want to be liked too much to be in collections. My ultimate goal is that people love me. So I'm in collections. I'm calling people, telling them they have to pay. They're telling me that they can't pay. My child is in college. I can't pay. And I go, oh, okay. Well, you know what? Since you can't pay and I know you can't pay because I believe that story's a good story, I'm gonna do you a favor. I'm not only gonna zero your balance out, I'm gonna take you off the list. So my supervisor calls me into the office, and she said, lisa, what do you want to be when you grow up? I was about 23. I said I thought it was a test of my commitment to the company. I said, I want to be the best accounts receivable manager ever. And I swear I saw her cringe. And she said, I don't know. She says, I give you a list of 120 people to call, and when I get it back, there's, like, 89. I don't know what's happening. I said, oh, don't worry. I'm doing you a favor. I'm taking off everyone who can't pay. She says, people are asking for you when they call. I said, I aim to please. Yes, yes. She said, this is a collection company. They shouldn't be asking for you. She said, I have to release you to find your dream. I said, release me to find my dream. Do I clock in tomorrow and look for it here? She said, no. And so I got fired. 22 years later, I walk out on stage in front of 3,300 women, and this woman, when my Sizzle reel was playing with me on Oprah, Larry King, this woman's in the front row, and she's crying. And all while I'm speaking. All while I'm speaking, she's crying. And I go, you know, I can bring up a few tears, but I haven't even gotten started yet. She's crying. I don't know. So then afterwards, I'm signing autographs. About 280 people in line. I'm signing autographs, and she's crying the entire time. And after about 70 autographs, I go over to her. And I said, excuse me, ma', am, you've been crying for like two and a half hours. Why are you crying? She said, because 22 years ago, I released you to find your dream, and you found it. That was the same woman who fired me. Yes, yes, yes. So. That very thing. So look fear in the face and then stand on the edge. Hold fear. Don't wait for the fear to leave you. Hold fear in one hand and passion in the other. And leap. Leap. Because only one of three things are going to happen. One, you're going to fly. Two, you're going to fall and hit something soft. Or three, you'll fall and hit something hard and need a band aid. Either way, you've been built to. To last. Either way, you'll get up and do it again. Either way, you'll play full out. Yes, yes. Either way, you'll show up. Yes, yes. Either way, we'll get the best version of you. Yes, yes. Either way, it's your time. Right now, you assume you have forever. I'm saying you need now. Yes, yes. I'm saying be radical enough, be outrageous enough, be unapologetic enough to hold fear in one hand and passion in the other. And leap. Anyway, I'm asking you, are you willing for the sake, not just for you, but for the person who's sitting in that dark corner. And when you let your light shine and you pass by them, your light for a moment lightens up their corner just enough for them to see themselves. Just enough for them to recognize I'm still in the game. So I want to share this with you. When I called my. When I was called to be on the Oprah Show, I remember the night before, I was afraid because Oprah's team had come to interview me. And in the interview, I shared something that I didn't expect to share. I shared one of my darkest times in my life. And I was being featured on Oprah as the teacher of the secret. And so it was an expert. Expert. And I wasn't comfortable with what I shared and being called an expert. I just want to stay inside those moments that cause you to slow down. Do you know what I mean? And the night before, I was packing to be on the Oprah Show, I was so riddled with fear. I'm crying. It should be the happiest time. But I'm crying because I'm afraid of being judged. Say judged. And that will hold so many of us back. The fear of being judged, that will hold so many of us. That will Cause you not to leap when you become more concerned with. With other people's perception of you than you are of your own truth. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I got caught up in the 56 million people that would watch me on Oprah. I got caught up in their perception of me, what they would think of me if they knew that the expert from the Secret was going through that or had gone through that. And so I called one of the few people that I can call at 4:30 in the morning because I stayed up all night. And I called my friend and I said, I'm so nervous. I'm so afraid. And he says, oh, let me pray for you. And he said a prayer that shifted everything from me, and I just want to pass it on to you. He said, God, thank you for helping your imperfect child to serve your imperfect children. And in that moment, everything shifted. In that moment, I realized that in my imperfection, I'm perfect for you. In my imperfection, I'm perfect for you. In climbing over my fears, in climbing over my discouragement, in climbing over my issues. In that I'm perfect for you. And so there's not one thing you can be afraid of that doesn't make you perfect for us. Not one thing. Not one thing you can go through, not one thing you can come through, not one thing you can be on your way to that doesn't make you perfect. Say perfect. Say perfect to do that thing that you've been designed to do. To say that thing you've been designed to say. To bring that experience that you've been called to bring. You are perfect. Say perfect in your imperfection. Say imperfection when you become perfect, really, we no longer can relate to you. So are you willing to go to the edge and hold fear in one hand, passion than the other and leap? Are you willing I just stopped by to disrupt any form of mediocrity. I stopped by to make it uncomfortable for you to live in complacency. I stopped by to remind you of your greatness. Please stand up, put everything down. Empty your hands. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm here to talk to your soul and your heart. I don't even know if you know how to take notes for this conversation. You're like, what do I. What do I write down? Well, you just feel this one. You can write on the next one. You just feel this one. This is a soul cellular level conversation. So I want you to stand up straight. I want you to own the conversation. I want you to repeat after me, but I want you to understand that these are not my words. These are your words. I was just asked to bring them to you so you can say them to yourself. I stand here in my greatness. I own my light. I own my brilliance. I am bold. I am courageous. I'm perfect in my imperfection. This is. This is my time. This is my time. I'm bright enough. I'm old enough. I'm young enough. I've experienced enough. I'm wise enough. I understand that I am enough. Breathe. Own it. Own it. Now repeat after me. I accept my fear. But my fear will be in the car with me. But it will not be in the driver's seat. Breathe it in. Breathe it in. Breathe it in. Breathe it in. Breathe it in. Just breathe it in. Let it settle. This is not an experience that I'm entertaining you with. Own it at a cellular level. At a cellular level. Repeat after me. I am ready for my next best season because I know that I am the author of my autobiography. I am the designer of my own destiny. I am writing my life story, and I'm writing a life story that I'm going to love reading and others will be inspired by. On one page they'll read my fear, and on the next page, they'll know I did it anyway. I commit to hold fear in one hand. Put up your hand. Hold it. Hold it. I commit to hold fear in one hand and passion in the other. And leap. And leap. And leap. Every time. Every time, I ask that each of you hold me accountable to my contribution on this planet. Turn to someone and say, don't let me off the hook. Don't let me off the hook. So in closing. Stay standing. Stay standing. In closing. In closing. Time is up that fast. In closing. My grandmother used to. My grandmother still says she's 87. She celebrated her 87th birthday about eight days ago. She came to a fest when it was in Maui. Was anyone in Maui? And met my grandmother. It was a while ago. You met my grandmother. Maui. Well, my grandmother, I brought on stage and she waves, she does a little float, wave. And I said to everyone, you can talk to my grandmother. Afterwards, I'll be autographing books and you can talk to my grandmother. And afterwards, after my grandmother talked, everyone had. There was a line to talk to my grandmother. She sat in a little chair and everyone came up to her, much like they went to Vishen's mom. And afterwards, my grandmother and I were in the suite and she said, baby, you're very popular. Listen. She said, but I think Grandma was a little more popular than you this time. I'm not comparing, but my line was a little longer than yours. My grandmother says that when you get her age, and I bought her this amazing rocking chair that she loves. She said, when you get my age, baby, you're supposed to sit in your favorite rocking chair and share the story of your life with your children and your grandchildren and the neighbor's children and anyone who wants to listen. She said, but when you're your age, your age, you're supposed to make sure that the story's gonna be damn good to share. I love you guys. Yes. Yes.