YouTube interview (uploaded by Vishen Lakhiani, Sept 7, 2020) in which Donna Eden and David Feinstein reflect on their long-term relationship. They met in 1977 and have been together since; the transcript emphasizes early incompatibilities (logical vs. feeling styles, different preferences), how arguments tended to favor David’s rational style, and how over decades they developed rhythm and compatibility. Key themes: a soul connection, shared deep values, willingness to grow, small conflict practices (brief separations, apologies, repeating each other’s viewpoint), mutual surprise and appreciation, and the idea that persistent effort turned the relationship into a success.
Chapters
Yes, yes, yes.
I'll have whatever she's having.
David and I met in 1977, and we've been together ever since. You do it.
People have commented about us as a couple, particularly our friends from way back. Has been, oh, my God, it worked at the chakras.
Is that not there?
No.
David is very logical and rational and calm, cool and collected and up in his head. And I feel things. I am not up in my head. I'm a feeler. So when we argued, he always won the argument.
Do not agree with me. No matter. He'll come around.
Not because he was right. He won the arguments because he went up in his head and got more articulate as the conversation went on. And I'd lose my words and start to fall apart and cry. And so it did not seem like we'd ever make it together.
I couldn't really understand. She was just a big mystery. Now, 42 years later, she's still a big mystery, but it's much more intriguing to me now. I really like sunny, warm weather. She likes season. We were different in just about every practical way you could think of. If I had to describe Donna in one word, it would be sweet.
If I had to describe David in one word, it would be heady. David is a man in a million. He's willing to grow.
People that have followed our work for a couple of decades have watched us grow more and more compatible, have watched us become a better and better team together, because it was not easy at the beginning.
When you've gotten a little bit argumentative, you leave for a very short amount of time and you come back and it's like you are totally with me. And you might say an apology, or you might just suddenly want to repeat what I'm trying to say. It is so wonderful.
One thing I appreciate about you is how you always surprise me. I can't predict you. It's really amazing.
I believe that the reason for the success in our relationship is not just one thing. There was a soul connection, a soul bond that was so important to me that I didn't care how incompatible where I wanted to see if it would work. We really have found a rhythm with one another. Our values are the same. Our deep, deep values. And it may act out in different ways, but it's because of the same value.
One of the values that we share is that we are determined to succeed in whatever we try. And our relationship has been the biggest challenge for either of us, I think, in our lives. And we just keep on plugging away at it and finding ways to make it better and better. And at some point it turned, it started to really feel easier. And it was a success that we both could really congratulate one another on. We recognized how unlikely a couple we are.
I believe a happy relationship is where two people share same values, can rhythmically flow with one another, have juicy conversations, and also give each other space. As well as liking to coming back.
Together, being determined to find that space, even after the initial glow has worn off is magic. It's magic you can really get there.
