Sacred Sexuality For Healing | Psalm Isadora

So sexual healing is not just a Marvin Gaye song. Sexual healing is something that I think the whole world is starving for right now. And in this room, we've come together as brothers and sisters to try and make the world a better place and really starting by being willing to change ourselves. And so I've seen so many courses about meditation and self development, and the one area that gets left out and gets left in the shadow is our sexuality, which is literally the core that your whole life is built on. We've all come from sex, and it's the most natural thing. And somehow instead of holding it as sacred and the most sacred thing two people could experience together, we've made it something dirty or shameful or embarrassing. And because of that, there's been a lot more suffering in the world than is necessary. And so it's really my mission to break free of those taboos and to step into a new paradigm. And I know everyone in this room is ready for that, right? And from this room, we can take it out into the world. So I wanted to start out by sharing a success story, because some of the things I'm going to talk about, I'm going to share my story with you about years that I lived crippled with shame and wasn't able to really live my life and my purpose because of that. But starting with a beautiful success story. I showed up here at a fest and I was having dinner with a couple and this woman says, oh, you know, I took your masterclass with Vishen on Tantra Touch. And just in that 90 minute masterclass, she had a memory of a trauma that she had suppressed because she had shame. And when it came up into the light for her, she was able to release it. And her partner's sitting there at dinner with her and he's grinning from ear to ear and he's like, yes. And then after that, when we made love, she had full body orgasms and multiple orgasms. And that's really just because that's natural when we feel free, that's natural when we can relax. I think God gave us orgasms as a way to make life really work. Wonderful, beautiful, and sometimes bearable. But I became a sex expert because I had a background in sexual abuse. And that abuse and shame led me to some very dark places in my life. And ultimately I hit a rock bottom and I had to go on a journey to heal myself. And I was so desperate and hungry for that, I flew halfway around the world, gave up everything, risked everything to meet a teacher, my tantra teacher in the jungles of India. And he taught me about sacred sexuality. And I realized that this was something so necessary in our modern world. And so that's really my mission. I've taken one what was my greatest wound and made it my greatest power in that I can now help carry other people through their dark places and into the other side to empowerment and light around our sexuality and spirituality. Because there's an orgasmic breakthrough on the other end for all of us. And, you know, so to share a little bit about myself and my backstory, you know, now I live a life where I travel around the world and I talk about sex. I've had a TV show. I have another TV show. And, you know, I've worked with tens of thousands of people over 10 years in person, as a healer. I've worked with celebrities and professional athletes and billionaires. And I can tell you, everyone has one thing in common and that's we all need a better connection with sacred sexuality. And so that's why it's really time, and that's why we're going to do that here. And I've developed, I guess because of my background, a superpower that I can look at anyone and see if their sexual energy is blocked. And those blockages are what I call intimacy blocks. Because in tantra, we don't believe sex is just about having sex. It's understanding that sexual energy is this powerful creative force inside of us that manifests and creates our entire life. So everything from your money to your beliefs about yourself to your family are all directly connected to that energy. So if you have intimacy blocks around that shakti, that sexual energy, it is affecting all these areas that you're trying to change. And memory is not held in your mind. Memory is actually held in your body. So we have to start utilizing our body and let go of all the body shame. I mean, even in this room, a lot of you have body shame, you know, because that's our culture. So I grew up not the sexually liberated. I grew up on a Christian cult and I lived in a log cabin. My parents had both grown up in the city, and it was a time in history where there was the Vietnam war and a lot of people were tired of mainstream society and wanted to create an alternate reality. So I sort of grew up as a social experiment. And, you know, with this log cabin, I had no indoor electricity, no plumbing. And some of my earliest memories were my mom, like, chopping, you know, firewood with an axe to, to make us dinner on a wood burning stove. And there were things about growing up like that that were really beautiful and I think gave me a very unique kind of perspective on life. The church that I went to was very charismatic. And so they would speak in tongues and do faith healing. And sometimes people would get hit with the Holy Spirit and start rolling around the room. And I would say, get out of the way. If somebody's possessed by the Holy Spirit, you just might accidentally get hit because they were just sort of releasing themselves into some form of freedom where the rest of their life was so repressed. And what was beautiful in that environment for me was I felt a direct connection to that energy or that spirit. And I felt it as a physical energy that would run in my body. And even I remember being 5 years old, and I would wake up at night and sit up and just, like, rock myself with this feeling of, like, take tingling, hot and cold energy. And I didn't know what to call it. So I thought, oh, this is, you know, this is the Holy Spirit, or this. The angels are visiting me. This is my special time of feeling this connection to God. And I was a very good girl. My name was Psalm, so I already felt like I was special. And I memorized all my scripture verses every week. And I remember at my school, we would go to lunch, and before lunch we would pray. And I would get out of my chair and actually get on my knees in the classroom. And I'd seen an old picture book, like, pray, and the other kids would laugh at me. And I remember thinking, like, I don't care, because this is between me and God, and I'm saved. I don't know about you, but I'm saved. And so with this incredibly strong feeling of connection to God, it was like going from heaven to living in a complete nightmare when one day my mom told me that my father had molested at least 10 of my friends who all went to the same Christian school as me, where my father was the principal. And ironically, the school was called the Good Shepherd School. And, you know, in an environment where sex isn't talked about and there's already so much discomfort and shame, there's really nowhere to go to talk about it. And at the same time that my mother told me that, she also told me that he never. She said, he never did it to you. And in that moment, it was like, you know, a hand of silence was put on my throat that I still even physically feel sometimes today when I share my story. Because, again, memory lives in the body so much more than your brain. And because as children, when we count on our parents, I had to keep that agreement of shame and silence for her to love me, to give me attention, to give me food, to have somewhere to live. And that became directly connected to my survival mechanisms, that sense of shame. And I remember after that, she actually had a nervous breakdown and became very violent with my father and with me and my younger brothers. And I remember one night, her chasing my father around the house with a knife and pinning him against a wall, and she held the knife to his throat, and she said, you know, the world would be a better place if you were dead. And even though that was my abuser, it was still my father. And I remember that night I went and I took all the knives in the house and I put them under my pillow, and I got down on my knees and I prayed to God again. I thought, you know, I've got a relationship with God. And I remember saying, God, would you just look down here on my family? Because I know if you saw what was happening, you would stop this. Because there's no way God could let this much suffering happen in this world. And I really believed that there would be a magic wand that would be waved and all the violence and all the pain would just disappear. And when I woke up the next morning, everything was the same. It was the same nightmare. And I remember at that point, I just lost faith. I lost faith in God. I lost faith in people. I lost faith in the world. And I just didn't even want to be alive anymore. But I never went and asked for help because I made an agreement of that shame and that silence. And I remember my mom saying, if you go out and you tell anybody, you tell your friends, you tell a teacher, they'll put your dad in jail or they'll probably kill him, and they'll put you and your brothers in foster care. And however bad this is at home, that's worse. And I finally reached a point where being a good girl for so long hadn't done anything for me. And something snapped. And so I became rebellious and I started drinking and sneaking out at night. And so my family sent me to a Christian boarding school that fixed me. And I remember going to this Christian boarding school and somebody gave me lsd. And I just thought, I don't need any of this reality. And I'm just going to leave it all behind. I don't want any of this. Too many lies in this world, too many people not telling the truth. And I ran away at 17 years old. And I did what a lot of teenage girls with sexual abuse too. I got pregnant because I wanted some connection to unconditional love. And then I was 17 years old, holding a baby, still a child myself. And I didn't have any tools yet to heal my own trauma. And my 20s just became a blur of drugs and sex and alcohol and anything to numb the pain of these inner demons. I remember one night putting my son to bed and being like, sam, you can be good. Just be good. Just stay home. It was like there's this fire inside me, and it's impossible to describe what it's like when you can't get out of your own skin, but you're filled with all this raging demons. I called that the mean reds, worse than depression. And I went out that night, and I got drunk, and I went home with some random person. And I woke up early and snuck into my bedroom window in the morning so my son wouldn't see me come in the front door while he made his cereal and got ready for school. And I felt so ashamed. And because of my original shame, I felt like I just had no hope to change at all. And I finally went and looked for help with therapy. And I explained to the therapist, you know, I have all this trauma, but I also have these moments that I connect to something so beautiful and so blissful. And I can just be walking down the street and stop and, like, smell a flower and the fragrance of that flower. It's like I'm transported to this place where it's just, like, all white light and beauty and bliss and ecstatic, and it feels orgasmic in my body. And I said, and I feel like that when I have sex. When I have sex, it's beyond even the sex act. Some transcendent thing happens that I feel like I'm connected to something good again, something where we're all one. And I told that to my therapist, and she said, well, that's mania. And so I was diagnosed as bipolar and put on medication, which I was happy to. I was like, call me whatever you want. Call me a blue kangaroo if it's going to make me stop being crazy. I'm fine with that. She gave me lithium, and I didn't have the mean reds anymore, but I didn't have anything. I was totally and completely numb. And I remember not having the energy to get out of bed, gaining 30 pounds. I remember my son coming to me and at night and saying, will you read me a bedtime story? And I was so lethargic and so tired and disconnected. And I said, can you come back later? And I saw him, dejected, walking out of the room. And then he asked me again, I said, can you come back later? You know, and you only get so many laters. And when you're parents and you have your own kind of trauma or shame in your body, then you can't be present with your kids. And that forms who they are. And so after about a year of being on that medication, gaining weight, having no energy, I ended up going broke and we were almost evicted. And in that moment of almost getting evicted and I didn't know what to do, I thought, well, they've got me on drugs, so I'm going to go back to using my old drugs because I know what they do. So I found a friend who had crystal meth and I went, I remember taking a first hit of that again and my lungs expand. I felt like I'm superwoman, I can do anything. And of course that cocktail of lithium and crystal meth was deadly. And I ended up in an emergency room. And there was an emergency room, naked, you know, with that little thin cotton robe on, exposed in the back, and feeling so isolated and so small. And. And I remember I started thinking, I don't even have money to pay to be in this emergency room. And I can't call my parents for help. Everybody else in the world can call their parents for help, but my parents are my abusers and I have nowhere to go. And some other voice finally woke up inside me and said, psalm, do you see that? Do you see that? That's why you're here. Because some broken little five year old girl is still so hungry for your parents to come save you, to choose you, to value you. And you keep throwing yourself in these situations with different people or men or sexually and say, somebody choose me and see my value. And that voice said, but the only person who's going to do that is you. And some other voice said, go do yoga. And I was like, I have real problems, I'm on medication. Like yoga's women in Beverly Hills, their husbands work, they drive a minivan, they wear cute outfits. There's like, go to yoga because like, this is your last chance, girl. You end up here again. You do this reenactment pattern one more time, you're dead next time. And I felt that in my bones. So I like, with all my hopelessness and all my brain chatter, one foot in front of the other, I went home. And one foot in front of the other, I went to yoga the next day and I went to this yoga class. It was by donation because I Was broke. I remember the teacher said, you know, come to standing at the front of your mat. I don't have a cute outfit on. I'm wearing, like, pajama bottoms and a wife beater. And I was like, I don't care. Like, I'm here to save my life. And the teacher said, inhale. Raise your arms as you inhale. Long, slow, deep. Inhale. Exhale. Long, slow, deep, exhale. And again, inhale. Long, slow, deep. Inhale. And I felt. I felt the spirit of God in my body again, where I felt nothing but shame and pain for so long. And every time I inhaled and I felt that like something cared about me and that life could be good. And I inhaled and I felt this bliss in my body. And I started to hear a prayer, like, from my body. And it said, thank you, God, because I am beautifully and wonderfully made. And at first I thought. But I thought I was like, I don't like God. I don't pray. God makes me feel bad. Prayer failed me. And I thought, and I don't love my body. I don't want to be here in this planet. But I did again, inhale. And that prayer was happening. And I was being filled with all this positive energy. And I thought, you know what? God didn't belong to church. Those were people with problems that were weak and couldn't overcome them. And me and God and this energy, that's mine. And in that moment, inhale, exhale. And it was beyond that. I was like, inhale. And as I feel this gratitude for my body, and I fought life and I fought God and I thought everything wasn't fair. And in that moment, I felt my body. I felt like, I am grateful. And this body, this body is amazing. And this body that at that point, it only brought me suffering and my sexual energy and the way people perceive me, it only brought me pain. And I felt that it was mine and that this was sacred and this feeling was orgasmic. And then I went and I tried to find more teachers. I was like, I need more of this, but I need that connection beyond even regular yoga. I went to Zen meditation where all the monks had shaved their heads. And I was like, I don't wanna look like a guy. I was like, isn't there somewhere I can go where, like, you know, all this works for me? Like, I think God made me juicy for a reason. You know, take me to where they like that. And then instead of a detriment, that's a powerful thing. And I ended up through a series of miraculous events In India, where I met my guru is not famous out in the middle of the jungle. And he taught me something. He said there was a time in this world, a real time, that sex was sacred. And they had temples where people actually went and had sex to worship each other and to tithe their pleasure to God as an offering. I was taught that that was what you did and it distracted you from God. And he said that in that time, there were priestesses, and they helped people learn how to pray in their bodies and experience their sexual sacredness. And in that moment, I remembered, oh, my God, that's why I'm here. And he taught me beautiful things like how to do this breast massage that opens the heart and heals pain and how two people can have sex and connect in such a deeper way on a soul level. And then he said, go out and teach that to the world. And on one hand, I was like, finally, I have my purpose. All this pain makes sense. But I was terrified because I knew people are going to judge me. Nobody's ready to hear this message, and yet they need it so badly. And I remember, I just thought, okay, that's what it's mine to do. Somebody's going to be on the front line of that. And I came back and I started teaching. Like I said, at this point, I've taught tens of thousands of people in person, millions through TV and the Internet. And the fact that I'm standing here on stage at a fest means there's already been a paradigm change and that Vishen is brave enough to take this step where other places that do self development won't, because we need this, and we need this paradigm shift. And it starts here with everyone in this room, and it can go out, you know, into the whole world. And I wanted to show you while I was here, another beautiful story. One of the women here said that I had taught a meditation I'm going to teach you very quickly. It's called the kiss meditation. It's one of the ten tantra touch secrets as the kiss Meditation, where you kind of break through again, our body shame, our inhibition, our embarrassment. But she taught it to her kids. So I just want you to remember that really, sensuality is innocent. I mean, we're responsible for how we use it and connect with each other, but that we shouldn't have shame to live in a human body. And that really experiencing this in each other, your soul came here to have this experience. Guess what? We made an app. Like, consciousness was like, maybe I could make an app where I could taste Food. Maybe I could make an app where I could touch another person's body. But then we're here, and all we do is run away from each other and ourselves and feel the shame in our human embodiment. And again, the only way to undo these negative patterns that we hold in our memories is through our body's release, not the mind. So I'm going to invite you to do just a little practice. We're only going to do this for a minute, and even that, you can just get a taste of how powerful it is. So I want you to turn to somebody sitting next to you, and we're going to do the first point of connection of the kiss. Connection. So you're going to take your right hand and put it over your partner's heart. So taking your right hand, put it over your partner's heart. Let's get started really quickly, so we don't have much time. And I want to give you this experience and take your other hand and put it over their hand. So you've created an infinity loop of sharing this heart energy called oxytocin, love and bonding, which is present and released during breastfeeding, hugging, and sex. And I want you to start breathing at the same time as your partner. So the first point of connection is hand to heart, creating this infinite loop of energy of exchanging oxytocin and the love and bonding hormone. And then I want you to share the second point of connection. Inhale together with your partner. Listen to the sound of their breath and feel their chest rise under your hands. And then as you exhale, feel their chest dropping down and inhaling together. Long, slow, deep. Inhale and exhaling together. Long, slow, deep exhale. And notice as you begin to pace your breath, you begin to be more intuitive to your partner's experience and you can feel what they feel. And now I want you to keep the eye connection. Now, if this is too difficult or it makes you a little embarrassed, close your eyes. I just want you to work where you're able to work, work. But if you're able to, then keep your eyes open. And as you look into your partner's eyes, I want you to see the whole room around them as well, which softens your gaze. And inhale, receiving this energy from your partner through their eyes, through their hands. Exhale, sending energy back through your eyes, through your hands. With every inhale, I surrender and receive this beautiful, bonding, sensual connection. Exhale, sending that energy back and letting go of any expectations. And as you gaze into your partner's eyes, just know Your eyes are the mirrors to your soul. And when we are able to see that deeply, we remember for just a moment that we're all just here in the theater of life to play different roles. And sometimes the roles are pitted against each other. Sometimes a mother and a child or in a relationship. Our roles mean that we just can't come to an agreement. But we can remember in this moment that that person is a soul. And deeper than these moments is recognizing that that soul is here to have its own experience. And when we can let go of the shame of our bodies, of our humanity, of our sexuality, of our sensuality, we can let go of that shame and biohack that. You can start to level up every area of your life. And just a few more breaths, holding this connection, the kiss connection. Kinetic, intimate, sensual. Slowing down, undoing years of inhibition. Just think, I've had husbands and wives who've never held each other's gaze this long. Now imagine if you could take that to making love. Now imagine if you could take that to everyone you meet, or in a board meeting, or with your own family. We can make a different world. Take a last inhale together. Inhale, receiving energy from your partner, from their eyes, their hands, their heart. Exhale, sending it back and letting go. And now just bowing to your partner and thanking them for sharing this human moment of awakening through our senses. Tantra is awakening through our senses and connecting mind, body and soul. So I just want. Time's almost up. You can visit more in the break. I just wanted to thank all of you. I want to thank all of you for being brave and for sharing this space with me and for being part of the paradigm change. It's only the beginning. We're breaking down shame and taboo in the world. I love all of you. I love all of you.