Vishen Lakhiani argues that parents should not raise children to adopt their personal beliefs but should keep them safe and teach them to think for themselves. He contrasts absolute truth (science, universal facts) with relative truth (personal/religious beliefs) and describes exposing his children to multiple belief systems so they can choose. He shares an anecdote: his seven-year-old son Hayden questioned the Resurrection and said he doesn’t think God exists, which Vishen accepts as consistent with teaching critical thinking and scientific curiosity.
Chapters
So I was just asked the question, how can I raise kids to make them think in the same way I do? That's the problem. Your whole point as a parent is not to raise kids to make them think in the same way you do. Your point as a parent is nothing more than to keep your children safe. Right. But to give your kids the skills, the knowledge to think for themselves, not the same way you do. Because you are a different generation. You've grown up in a different time. My kids are growing up with smartphones. I grew up with, you know, before homes had computers or the Internet was widespread. So the biggest mistake that parents make is that they indoctrinate their kids with their beliefs. And that's just wrong. I firmly believe that you should not be raising your kid to be a Democrat or Republican or a Hindu or a Buddhist or a Christian. Those are your beliefs. Let your kids grow up and forge their own beliefs. So I train my kids, for example, to understand the difference between absolute truth and relative truth. So they know that absolute truth is what is true for the entire world. It's what science can determine. So my kids are science junkies, but they also get relative truth. They know that they have one grandmother who's a Hindu, another grandmother who is Russian Orthodox, one grandfather who's a Hindu, another grandfather who's a Lutheran. All of them have different religious beliefs. It's all relative truth and it's all okay. But they, as a child get to choose from relative truth. They get to pick an idea from Hinduism that they like and an idea from Christianity that they like and forge their own beliefs. Or they could choose to disregard them. Let me give you an example. On Easter a few years ago, when my son was seven years old, he. He asked me what Easter was about. And I spoke about Jesus and the Resurrection. And then he told me this. He's like, you know, I don't think Jesus came back from the dead. I think they just mistook someone else with a beard. And I thought, whoa, Hayden, that's pretty bold for a seven year old. And he continued, he said, you know, and I don't think God exists. I think we just make it up to feel good about ourselves. So that kind of stung me because I believe in God, I pray, I genuinely believe in God. But my son, who's 7, doesn't. And that's okay because I've trained him to think like a scientist, to understand the difference between relative truth and absolute truth. So Hayden believes in Newton's laws, Hayden believes in the planets. Hayden knows what a star is. He loves using the Internet to explore the far reaches of science. He's learning about energy and power and how the world works, because all of that is science when it comes to relative truth. He knows he can choose to believe in Santa Claus if he wants to, or the Tooth Fairy or Jesus, or God. But he doesn't have to take on and believe them just because his dad does. Because I am a different generation, and my son, well, he's entitled to create his own vision of the world based on the time and the society that he's growing up in.
