The Power of Compassion: How to Cultivate Kindness and Love

I think that compassion is such a superpower and it's so underestimated. Where did we lose that? Where did we go wrong?

I think we underestimate it because for the longest time in society, we thought kindness is associated with weakness. Compassion today, kindness is the ultimate flex. Compassion is like a muscle. You can train it, and when you train it, you become more loving. If you think about all the great saints and sages and mystic. Compassion and love was a key part of who they are, whether it's Yogananda or Jesus. It was compassion and love. After the pandemic, I went for breakfast with a friend. All the restaurants had been closed for three months. And finally that weekend, everything opens. And so we are waiting in line for around 20, 40 minutes to get in. Finally, we get in. It's really busy, so they can only see this at the bar. And all I'm craving is coffee, eggs and some. And a side of avocado. So I order my coffee, and 20 minutes later, the waitress hasn't brought the coffee. The waitress is scurrying around. There's a lot of people over there. She's wearing a mask. And she left the coffee on the bar. And I can see it. And it's 20 minutes. I can't get her attention. Finally, she brings me the coffee, just puts it down, doesn't even say anything, and it's gone cold. So I have to order another coffee. That other coffee comes 10 minutes later. Then my omelette comes 40 minutes later, they forgot the avocado. And all of this chaos. Now, at the end of that, as I was tipping the waitress, I still had a smile on my face, and I gave a tip worth 50% of the entire bill. So my friend looked at me and goes, what are you doing? Like, the service here was horrible. She doesn't deserve 50%. And I said, really? Well, I thought she did. And I explained it to my friend Esther. I said, look, it's all how we see it. To me, I'm just happy to be here, to be able to eat outdoors again. It doesn't matter. We had to wait 20 minutes in line. It was just nice being able to step into a restaurant after three months. That waitress, she's been running around with a mask on herself for, gosh, maybe 12 hours. Look at the line. She's not even getting a break. And probably for the last three months, she didn't have a job. She was probably worried about how to put food on the table. And that's why I gave her a 50% tip. I don't care if my coffee was cold or my avocado came late. That didn't even register for me. Rather, I was in a state of appreciation, of love, of awe at the humanity around me. Even if it was a little bit messy. Compassion had put me in that zone. When you see someone else, even if it seems like what they did is wrong to you, you look at them with a sense of empathy, with a sense of understanding. And it is that understanding that changes and reframes your definition of the world. So I'm not saying do compassion so you become a better tipper. I'm saying do compassion because the world becomes a more beautiful, alive, connected place, and your life becomes more peaceful. Now, the side effect is everyone you come in contact with, you bring happiness into their lives, and the world needs that today.

What I love about that example is that it shows something in a personal way that we all experience. And it's so fascinating because I've been experimenting with something similar in a professional setting. So a lot of people would say, oh, yeah, you can do that with a. You know, with a waiter or a waitress at a. At a store. But then what about someone in your workplace? And I realized that if you go hard on people and people experience this, I think we've all had experiences. We've all had bosses who are hard on us. And I found that when my bosses were hard with me, it closed me off. It didn't open me up. Whereas if someone checked in with me and said, hey, Jay, you look like you're struggling a bit. Is everything okay at home? Like, is your family okay? Like, how are things going? You don't have to tell me, but if you feel like telling me, let me know. That allowed me to have a safe space and want to deliver more for that person as opposed to if that person came up to me and goes, I'm not really happy with your performance right now. Like, hearing that from someone didn't open someone up. And so even your same approach in a professional setting still works and applies that. When you approach someone or someone approaches you and just says, hey, I can tell that you're dealing with a few issues or something must be going on. Do you feel like telling me? I think that compassion is such a superpower, and it's so underestimated. Where did we lose that? Where did we go wrong?

I think we underestimate it because for the longest time in society, we thought kindness is associated with weakness. Compassion. Today, kindness is the ultimate flex. I remember a funny story about you, Jay. So I remember me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That shows how compassionate you are. So I want to share this with the audience. We were having dinner at Mindvalley's festival A Fest. This was that festival in Ibiza. And you disappeared to use the restroom.

Oh, yeah.

And then we never saw you for two hours. So imagine you're having dinner with someone. There are about six people in the dinner table. And that person goes, I have to go. You use the restroom. Two hours later, he hasn't come back. And so you're thinking, gosh, what a jerk. If he was bored by my company, he should have just said, vishen, I'm going to go to sleep. He had to make that restroom excuse. So I was mildly annoyed by you. And then I realized what happened. Jay went to use the restroom. And as you were coming out of the restroom, one by one, people were coming out to take photos with you or ask you for advice. And you stood there for almost two hours talking to everyone, taking photos, giving them the advice they needed. And then you were so tired you went to sleep. That's compassion. And see, you may have done that almost just organically, but I never forget that. And that put you at hero status in my mind.

No. Well, I honestly have to say it's because you attract the best people. The culture and community of the quality of individual that comes to Mindvalley events is really special. And you know, I, I know that I know so many A festers in my personal life as well, like Irvin, who's one of my closest friends, Irvin Valencia E. And it's like he's been an A fest. I think he's like, I don't know how many A fest he's been to. Maybe like nine or something. I don't know. He's been to a lot.

Yeah, I think he's, he's the health director for the New York Knicks.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. He's the director of training and conditioning at the Knicks. And it's just like he's the embodiment of everything we're talking about in a beautiful way. And I think I did that because of the quality of the people you attract. But I appreciate you remembering these things. Obviously, meditation gives you a good memory too.

So, So I, I, I say that because compassion today, kindness is the ultimate flex. I remember 15 years ago when people wanted to sell you stuff on the Internet, do this to make money, do this to build a business, they would post with their Lamborghini or their car. Today, nobody gives a damn. Today, the stuff that we share on Instagram are very often inspirational stories. People doing kind acts, people saving animals, people doing great things for kids. Compassion is the flex in today's society.