The power of nonverbal communication with body language expert Linda Clemons

So I gotta tell you a couple things here before I get started. I travel around the world as a sales and body language expert. And what's so interesting is that even though I work for lawyers and they bring me in to help them with jury selection and CEOs and C suite, my girlfriends and my guy friends call me all the time. A lot of my girlfriends and my guy friends, when they have someone new in their life, they invite me out to dinner as their human lie detector. So here is one of the things I want to talk to you about is the power of communication study done well over 50 years ago by Dr. Maher Rabian. And the study says that our words are 7% of our communication. So the question I want to ask you, the words that are coming out of your mouth, are they powerful or powerless? Poison or potent? Passionate or passive? According to the study, tonality is 38% of your communication. 38%. There's a saying that goes, it's not just what you say, but remix. It's not just what you say and how you say it, it's what they hear. Is there a single man in the room? Okay, so the single gentleman right there. If I say this to you, I'm going to give you two examples. Example number one, I have some chocolate in the refrigerator. Do you want some? Listen to the words and the tone. Single man, I have some chocolate in the refrigerator. Do you want some? Now, ladies, does that sound appealing? Okay, number two, I have some chocolate in the refrigerator. I want some. Chick, what's up? Do you want some? Same words. What was different tone, 38%. 7% words, 38% tonality. And 55% of your communication is non verbal. So one of my favorite quotes by Emerson, I'm going to clematize it a little bit. I cannot hear what you are saying because who you are being is getting in the way. And if my late granny was alive, my granny would say, baby, I hear you talking, but I just don't see you walking. So if your words and your tone and your nonverbal don't agree, then there's a disconnect in the message between you and me. It is so important how we show up and what we give. So I'm gonna have some demonstrations. I want this couple right here. Come here, come here, come here. So I know these two here. So, okay, now you notice they're attached, right? Okay, okay. They're attached to each other. When you're attached, of course, to someone that you love, you begin to start blending in and Holding a couple times when they were sitting down. As a man, he claimed, claimed her with his hand. He touched her. On what part of the body? What do you think? What do men do when they. Clare. On the leg. Leg. Men do that. That claims. It sends another message. It sends a message to. It's tribal. It's primitive. It sends a message. This is mine. This is mine. Okay? And they constantly look at that. Touch, touch, touch. Just. Just. Just touch each other. Okay? So here is the thing. Look, she's touching near the heart. All right? Okay. So all these are lessons. So the reason why I'm saying this to you, let's say you're in a dating situation and you're meeting someone for the very first time. Separate. Separate. Separate. Okay? Okay. Now. And I know these two, okay? So I want you to look at him, okay? I want you to look at him. I know you're nervous. Now I want you to look at him. I want you to look at him. And all I want you to do is just flirt with your eyes. Just flirt with your eyes, okay? Okay. Look at it in the tense eyes. All right? Okay. Now I want you to relax. I want you to relax. Okay? Now I'm going to teach. Would you like me to teach you how to undress someone with their. We don't want that. That's not really proper. You really want that for me? I mean, like, how would you use it, you know? Okay, so I want you. Because you've done it before, so I want you to undress her with your eyes, okay? So here's what I'm gonna do so that they can see. Come here. He's doing it. You felt it. Come here. I want you to stand up right here. Right here, okay? Cause I want them to see his eyes, okay? And I want you to undress her with your eyes. Did you just take off the top already? Oh, you took all of it off. You just snatched it off. Okay. See? All. Now, okay. This is what we call a very hungry man. All right? Men, Men. Men. The key thing is the little things and the subtle touches, okay? Just the subtle touches. I want you to undress her slowly, okay? Cause, see, I know you're hungry and want to get to it, but I want you to undress her slowly with your eyes, all right? I want you to stand up straight, all right? Okay. As he takes off each item, then that part will surrender and relax. Okay? So you're standing up straight. I want you to feel each item he's taken off, okay? You ready? Okay. Why don't you take off your glasses, because I know you know where to find everything. Okay, Ready? All right. Did you feel that? You feel it? Okay. Okay. He went down to the shoes. So I suggested this time you two go get a room. Thank you. Thank you so much. A little menageri twi Little menageri twi There. Right. All right. All right. I'm just saying. Okay. All right. Stuff that you all are doing in the audience, if the camera would see, you should see what these people are doing. All right? Okay. I need two volunteers. I need you. All right. Do you. And your name, sir? Gregor. Okay, say it again. Gregor. Hi. Okay, do you two know each other? Okay. Are you married? Okay. You have a partner? Okay. Okay. Is your partner here? No. Okay. Is it okay if we play a little bit? Okay. All right. All right. Watch the shoulder shrug. Watch the shoulder shrug. I'm teaching. All right? Okay. So I want you two to have a seat right here. Hold on. Before you do, I want you to introduce yourself to each other, okay? Hi, I'm Christina. My name is Christina. My name is Gregor. Okay? Can you shake hands? Okay, now I want you to hold on. Just hold on. Okay? You can put the mic right there. Okay, I want you to hold on. Shake hands again. I know you got a partner. Do you have a partner? Okay, so what goes on here, stays here and on videotape, okay? It's okay. It's okay for the videotape. This is only a demonstration. They will cut it out. Don't cut it out. All right? Okay. So. Right. Okay. So all I'm asking you to do for me, all right? I want you to think of your partner, Okay? I want you to think of your partner and the good feelings that you have for your partner, even though you're holding each other's hands. So I want you to trans this individual will become, just for the moment, your surrogate partner. Just for the moment. Okay? And I want you to think. And. And I want you to think. Send energy to her. Just send energy. Positive, loving, family, friendship, brotherhood, sisterhood. Energy. Can you feel that from each other? I want you to send that energy. You have to release and feel that energy. So you two have a seat, okay? All right. Is this your first time to mind Valley? Please don't make it be your last. All right? Okay. And because I don't want you to go home. Oh, what happened to me? They tortured me. Don't do that. All right? Okay, so can we just dim the lights, please? Dim the lights on the stage. If we could just dim the lights. Okay. Okay. All right, I need you to close your eyes. I need both of you to close your eyes, all right? And I need you to extend this arm up. Just stand it up. Okay, I need you to tilt your head back. Okay, I need you to extend your. The. This arm up here. And I need you to tilt your head back. Just back. Tilt it back. If your heads can touch, just touch. Okay, now I need someone to. Let's see, you want to. I need. I need your energy right now. And let's see. I need. Okay. Okay. Wait a minute. There's too much energy. All right? Okay. Okay. So dim the lights. Dim the lights. Dim the lights. Okay, do me a favor. I want you to touch the hand of the person beside you. Okay? All right. Touch the hand by person beside. So with your permission, I'm going. And I'm. With your permission, I'm going to touch both of you, all right? And you're not going to. I don't want you to say anything, but I'm going to touch both of you, all right? Okay. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Both of you, open your eyes. Okay, so, Ray, put your arm down. So, sir, where did I touch you? On my forehead and on the middle part of my. Ma', am, where did I touch you? Right around here. On the forehead and then on the elbow or this part of the arm. So let me ask you all this. Did I touch this man here? Did I touch this woman here? Did I? She doesn't believe it. They're my witnesses. I didn't. All right. Okay. You can touch another human being around the world simply with your presence, with your thoughts. Can you imagine the energy that we're able to send around the world and the love and peace and healing that we can have? The healers in the room. You know what I'm talking about. Just imagine just a touch and a thought and thinking about the love that she had and he had for their partner can be able to transfer over to another human being. Just a touch. Just a touch. Let's give them a. Both round of applause.