Dr. Srikumar Rao explains that most people adopt an "if-then" model of happiness — believing they will be happy if some external condition is met (better job, more money, marriage, children). He argues this model is fundamentally flawed because gains quickly fade into the background. Instead, Rao recommends accepting the world as it is while still taking action: sever the conditional link between achievement and happiness so that happiness becomes an innate, spontaneous state (e.g., bursting into song in the shower). Living from this inner well-being makes work more productive and beneficial to others.
Chapters
It's probably fair to say that in some way, shape, fashion or form, our entire life is a quest to be happy. The problem is we go about being happy the wrong way. We think that we will be happy when something happens or when we get something. When we get a better job, a higher pay, a bigger house, when we become married or have children or our children do well. Something happens outside, and then we will be happy. This is what I call the if then model. And the if then model is fundamentally flawed. Look back on your own life. Can you imagine sometime when you really wanted something? I mean, you really wanted it and you got it and you were thrilled for a few minutes, an hour, a day, a week. And then it simply became part of the background of your life and you moved on. It happens to us all the time. And that is because the if then model itself is flawed. But we never recognize that the model is flawed. We simply think we put the wrong side on the if side of the equation. And if we put the right item, then life would be fine. Think back on your own life. Can you remember some time when you were confronted with the scene of such spectacular beauty that it took you outside of yourself to a place of great calm and serenity? Perhaps the ocean or a beautiful valley or a mountaintop covered in ice? Practically everyone can remember at least one such instant. Do you remember why that happened? That happened because somehow at that instant, you accepted the world exactly as it was. You didn't say, you know, that's a beautiful rainbow, but it's off to one side. If I could move it 200 yards to the right, it would be ever so much better. Your life right now, with all of the problems you have. Your life right now, with all of the problems you think you have, is every bit as perfect. But you're resisting some aspect of it with might and main. Darn it. This is not the way it should be. This is the way it should be. And when you resist, you buy into the if then model. And the if then model is flawed. That's how we all learn to be unhappy. Now, here is an important point to remember. Accepting the world as it is does not mean that you don't do anything about. Means that you acknowledge that things are in a particular way. You will try your level best to change the way it is if it is not in accordance with your vision. But you will do this because this is your path in life. You will not do it because if you succeed, then you will be happy. If you succeed, wonderful. If you don't Succeed. Wonderful. You have severed the if then link. And when you sever the if then link and you recognize that you have no control over the universe, it goes its merry way. It always gives you exactly what you need. What you need may be not what you wanted, but it is what you require for your growth. Think of the universe as a benevolent entity. It is not indifferent towards you. It knows you exist and is well disposed towards you, and always arranges it so that you get exactly what you need at precisely the time that you need it. Now imagine this. You're in the shower, the water is hot. You're feeling very relaxed and at ease with the world. And all of a sudden you burst out singing. You don't burst out singing because you want to be happy. You burst out singing because it is the spontaneous expression of your happiness. It is indeed possible to live life like that when you recognize that there is nothing that you have to do or get or be to be happy. Happiness is your innate nature, and you live life as an expression of that nature. And when you start living life in that manner, when everything you do, including the occupation you're in and the efforts you make, is a spontaneous expression of your inner well being, then you find that you become not just productive, but inner incredibly productive. Your work blesses not only you, but everyone with whom it somehow interacts and impacts. It's a different way of living. And this way of living is infinitely more satisfying to you personally and brings good to the world outside.
