Today I Will Be Happy, Only Tomorrow Shall I Be Sad | Lu Xanne Boon

So the other day I was just talking to my mom, right? And I said, mom, do you remember when I was young, you used to always tell me that you're tone deaf and I could be exactly like you. And so for the longest time, I grew up believing I was tone deaf because I mean, my singing could bring down the rain as well. And so I told my mom, I said, well, wow, I must be tone deaf like you because my singing is so bad. Until I discovered this article. And the article said that singing and a good voice can be cultivated and it can be practiced. And I told my mom, I said, mom, you totally destroyed my dreams of wanting to be a pop star like Ariana Grande. And now all I can be is just a TEDx speaker. Oh, words. They hold such power, don't they? It's amazing how we are gifted with the ability to speak words. Words can edify us, it can encourage us, can give us so much confidence in so many ways. And you know, I'm sure there were times before in your life that something someone said to you, or a word or a phrase, that was so life changing. And that's the whole reason why we love holding on to quotes, right? And making it as our own motivational mantra. And oftentimes as well, so many times I would say that the result of our behaviors are dictated by the words we choose to speak. And I remember this one time, or maybe a couple of times when I was in school, and I'm sure you can all relate to this because it was just one of those days that I was really dreading to go to school. So I thought, today, today is the day that I'm going to put my acting skills to practice. And so I told my mom, I said, mom, I think I'm having a sore throat. There's a pounding headache, and I threw in some sniffles for good measure and she bought into it. And I was so happy because I didn't have to go to school, only to later realize that I did talk myself into falling asleep because I had to see a doctor because I was really, really sick after that. And so what our parents and our teachers did not emphasize to us more is that our brains works to keep us honest to what we speak with our mouths. And so in so many ways as well, our brain and our body cells are affected just by the words we choose to speak. I don't know if you heard about this, but Dr. Peter Gavrel, who is the father of wave genetics, managed to prove that the human DNA can be reprogrammed just by the words we. Now, that is truly amazing because can you imagine that you can heal your own body just by speaking the right words to it? And so when I came across this study, I was mind blown and I thought, I have to prove this theory right? And so I sought out to do my own little home experiment. And this is what I did. I'm going to show it to you guys. So this is what I did. I used green beans, and I placed them in three cups. I put two green beans into each cup, and I labeled them X, Y and Z. So X was the one I spoke positive words to every day. Y was the one I didn't say anything to because it was my control. And Z was the one that I spoke really nasty things to it every single day. And so by day four, this is how it looks like. So X on day four has grew an inch. Y, as you can see, sprouted some leaves, so it's not too bad. And Z is not doing as well as the other two. And by day five, this is how it looks like. So X grew a lot more. Y was kind of catching up. And Zack, if I zoom into Zack, this is how you see, Zack was actually growing upside down with where its roots were growing up and its shoot was growing down. And you know what's interesting was that every day part of my script to Zagwaziz, I would tell it that you are lost and you have no sense of direction. You are ugly and your roots are twisted. And so it was actually doing what I tell it to do every day. And by day 10, this is how it looks like. So it's truly amazing to see that X is the one that's definitely leading the pack and Z looks like it's the one that was limping the most. But I'm just as skeptical and as inquisitive as you guys. And I just had to do this again. And so I did. I did it again. And this time I named it X1, Y1 and Z1. And I did the same thing again. Put two green beans into each cup, say good things to X1, say nothing to Y1, and say really horrible things to Z1. And by day six, this was how it looked like. And by this time, I was thinking, oh, gosh, this is not going well. Right? Because it looks like Z1 was the one that was leading. I thought, my theory is not working. I have to scrape my entire TEDx talk. I thought, okay, you know what? Just calm down. Let's wait a few more days. And this is how it looks like on day 11. Again, X1 seems to be leading, whereas Z1 seems to be the one that is the weakest looking. But I just had to do this again. And so I did. And I named it this time. X2, Y2, and Z2. And by this time, you guys are wondering, okay, where is she going with this? And you see, and this time, I put three green beans into each cup. And by day five, this is how it looks like everyone's pretty on par. Because by the time day 8, day 8 came and X2 actually grew up so much more. But it's just amazing to see that this same simple home experiment worked. And, you know, even when I was doing it, I wasn't sure it was going to work scientifically. I was just praying in all my days that it would work. And it did. And when it did, over and over again, I was completely mind blown. It's indeed fascinating to see the impact of our words on these plants. And, you know, our human cells and plant cells have got so much in common. So can you imagine the effect of all the words that you have ever spoken and all the words that we have ever absorbed into our lives and how much has affected us to this day? There's also a really famous study done by Dr. Emoto, very similar experiment, but instead of using plants, he used water. And what Dr. Emoto did was that he took some water, bottled them up, spoke good things to some bottled water, and spoke bad things to the other bottled water. He then froze these bottles up and then observed the water crystals that were formed under the microscope. And this is what he found. Now, the top three pictures are bottled water that were exposed to words of negativity, and the bottom three pictures are water crystals that were exposed to, to words of positivity. And even from this, you can see the vast difference on how beautiful or not so beautiful the water crystals are formed. And so it's indeed super fascinating to see this. And now we understand that positive words affect us in a positive way and negative words affect us in a negative way. Now, my question is this. If this is such a simple understanding of positive words and negative words and how it affects our life, and it seems like it's such a simple concept to apply in our lives. Why then are there people who are still not living the life that they truly desire, why are there people who are still not achieving the successes that they truly want? Why are there people who still wake up every single day feeling so lousy and so depressed, even though they Just attended a motivational seminar two days ago. What are they not doing? Right? And so I want to share three points with all of you today to help you create and craft better dialogues with yourself and with other people around you. And my first point is be creatively descriptive. I'll give you a scenario. For example, you're about to walk up on stage just like what I did, or you're about to give a really big presentation in front of your entire class, right? And you're backstage waiting for your turn, and you start to feel this ball of energy that's in you that's slowly turning into this ugly, giant monster ball of nervousness, right? And your heart rate is starting to quicken. Your palms are starting to get sweaty, and the cold sweat is starting to break out on your forehead, and you feel like you're going to puke any minute right now. And what you usually tell yourself is this. Okay, you can do it. I'm calm. I'm calm. I can do this, right? But instead, in all my experiences of doing this, it almost never is as effective or as immediate as I wanted it to be. And so instead of saying what you used to say, say this instead. Okay, I'm calm and relaxed right now. My heart rate is slowing down. My breathing is steady. And every time I inhale, I inhale relaxation and calmness. And every time I exhale, I exhale nervousness. And so what I just did right there was to give very specific visuals to how exactly it would look like and be like when I am relaxed. And I did the same thing to my plants. I did not just say, you will grow up to be a beautiful plant. Instead, I said, you will grow up to be the most beautiful, beautiful plant in the world. You will have roots that are grounded and steady. You have a stalk that is so tall and straight and can withstand any pressure at all. And you will have leaves that are the most vibrant green in color. And that was how I talk to my plants every single day. Now, you do not want to know what. What nasty things I say to Zach every day, because it's equally as descriptive. Yeah, it was not for this channel. It's TedX, not Ted SX, right? And so that was how I talk to my plants every single day. And you see, the power of our words really come from when we are able to transform a conceptual, vague idea of I'm relaxed or I'm smart or I'm beautiful to a more descriptive visual of how exactly it will look like and be like and feel like when you Are smart or relaxed. A beautiful. Our brain interprets what we say very, very literally. And so the more specific, direct and descriptive visuals that you can give your brain, the faster and easier it is for your mind to be in your desired state. And one good way to do this is to ask yourself, what must happen in my physiology, my emotions, and my biology when I am relaxed? Now, my second point is this. You need to give your brain a compelling reason why you want to be in your desired state. You need to convince your brain why you want to be relaxed. So my grandfather, his name is Eng Jupong. He is one of Malaysia's first few cyclists to ever make it to the Olympics. He was in the 1964 Tokyo Olympics and also in the 1968 Mexico Olympics. So he really is quite the star in our family. And one day a few years ago, as he was driving back home, he suffered a stroke. Now he was all alone. He could start to feel numbness in his legs and parts of his body, and he didn't know what to do. But all he knew was that he had to get to the hospital. When he was there, the doctors were really surprised. They were wondering, how did this man manage to drive himself all the way to the hospital and walk himself right up to the front of the reception and check himself in? Because the stroke that hit him was rather serious. And so we asked my grandfather, what went through your mind when that happened? He said, well, I didn't know what was happening, but all I knew was that I needed to get to the hospital because I didn't want to die alone in my car. Now, that's a pretty compelling reason to tell yourself, you have to make it right. And so the next time, when you're about to come on stage and you want to be relaxed, say this instead. I need to be calm and relaxed. Right now. I want to be that cool, calm and collected speaker because I want to deliver my talk well. I do not need nervousness, because nervousness will not help me. Instead, I need calmness. I need relaxation, because that will help me. That will help me to be that engaging speaker that I want to be. So you need to give your brain very strong reasons on why you want to be in your desired state. Now, my third and final point is repetition is key. Our brain uses repetition to learn to search for patterns and consistency as a way to make sense of our environment. And I'm sure you've all experienced before that when you heard a song and the entire day the melody was just stuck in your head, no Matter how much you try to get it off, you just can't. Repetition is the most powerful tool to imprint something in our minds and to keep it there. There is also a study done by the University of California in 2009 that showed that a weak message that was repeated twice becomes more valid than a strong message that was repeated once. And this is really a phenomenon that is called the illusion of truth effect, which says that we have a tendency to believe that something is true with repeated exposure to it. And so if what you truly desire is to be naturally calm and relaxed before a big presentation or before a talk, then this needs to be incorporated into your daily self talk and not just right before you come on stage. And so there is immense power in our words and speech. And it doesn't matter if you're talking to yourself or if you're talking to someone else. Our words have a pervasive impact on how well a life we live and how well we function as human beings. And I'm sure that if we are completely honest with ourselves, there were times before in the past that our bad moods are directly linked to the choice of words we use. A full blown argument with a loved one might happen just because of something someone said out of anger. And my dad always said, anger is a short word of danger. I cannot agree more. What can lift you, words can also limit you. Words can heal, words can kill. Words can give us that strength, that hope, that courage in our weakest moments. Ancient scriptures say words can speak life and death. And you know, President Kennedy didn't say, let's try to put a man on the moon. He said, let's put a man on the moon. Martin Luther King didn't say, I think I have a dream. He said, I have a dream. The words we choose to speak become our self fulfilling prophecies. Our words become our truth. And so I'd like to encourage all of us today to start directing our speech to where we want to go and start declaring the outcome that we want to achieve in our lives. As I was coming up with this title of my talk, I remember this story that my dad wanted once told me about Viktor Frankl. And Viktor Frankl is one of our greatest psychiatrists and authors in the world, and also a man who survived four concentration camps during the Holocaust. And in one of his books he wrote about this young girl who, not knowing what her future will hold one day, went to a wall and wrote this. Today I will be happy, only tomorrow shall I be sad. And every day she will go to that wall and read these words of strength, these words of hope, every single day. Now, how about you? What are the words of strength and what are the words of hope? What are the power words that you choose to use every single day? Thank you, Sam.