Why Imagination Is More Powerful Than Words (and how to take advantage of it)

Whatever you imagine will defeat logic, will defeat knowledge. Feeling is more powerful than logic. The feeling you're going to die on a plane will always wipe out the logic that this is the safest way to travel. It does not care if what you do it is right or wrong, good or bad, true or false, healthy or unhealthy. It just lets it in. Imagination is more powerful than knowledge when dealing with your own mind and the mind of others. If I said to any of you, come and stand on this chair, who would come and stand on this chair? I'll give you $100 to stand on this chair. Sure. If I said, well, now the chair is on top of that spire on the highest building in Tallinn, who's going to climb up and stand on it for $100? Who would do that? Some people would, because they've got a good imagination. If I can stand on it there, I can stand. Most people go, no, I could fall if I had a little tiny plank up here. You can walk the plank when it's on the floor and put the plank between two high rise buildings. Who's going to walk it? Not many people. Because the imagination that you could fall and kill yourself is way more powerful than the knowledge that I did this on the ground. It's wide enough. Fear of flying. Knowledge says it's actually the safest place in the world. The most dangerous part of a flight is actually the drive to the airport. That's way more dangerous than being in the plane to. Do you think the imagination cares? We'll go in a flying coffin. I'm hurtling through the air and that guy looks like he's come straight out of isis. And he's in the bar. I think he's going to blow up the plane. And then you feel terrible. The other person's going, I'm watching a movie. I've always wanted to watch the Shape of Water. This is so great. Here's my time again to do nothing. So whatever you imagine will defeat logic, will defeat knowledge. And when dealing with children, people do logical why are you so bad? Why can't you get it? What's going on? Why are you so naughty? And that doesn't work. I never say to kids, why are you bad? I go, what happened to you? I was working with a little kid recently who always played up before lunch and would get hysterical after every meal. And I'd actually been in an orphanage in Zimbabwe and I'd seen that a lot, that at the end of the meals the kids start weeping uncontrollably because they don't know when the next meal is coming. And they go, look, you're in an orphanage. It's fine, we have food. You'll be fed three times a day. It takes about two years for those children to stop crying as they remove the plates. Because the emotion is, when's the next meal coming? So this little boy was really difficult at school, and he'd been to three different schools. And one of the teachers contacted me and I said, when does he. Well, he always does it before meals. And I said, you should ask him not why he does it, but what happened to him. And then the mother came in and said, well, I adopted him at 1. He was born to crackheads. And he used to cry when I left the room. And when I read his notes, his parents would leave the room for three days, and he didn't get fed very much. And so he's got this panic about not being fed. And I said, well, you should tell the school that. And of course, you can't logically say to a child, look, you're going to be fed every four hours. You have to go, look, you have some memories, they're really sad, but Mommy is going to put some nuts in your bag, and you're always going to have something. And you can't do it logically because feeling is more powerful than logic. The feeling you're going to die on a plane will always wipe out the logic. This is the safest way to travel. One of my clients said, please help me. I've done the logic. I went to British Airways flying course. I walked into the cockpit wearing shorts and I lost control of my bowels in front of everyone. Now I'm even more scared about flying because this was a course to make you better. They were logically showing me all the controls when they said they were taking off. I had a terrible accident. I knew it was bad because the pilot put a mask on and I had to be taken off that plane. And now I'm even further back from ever flying because logic doesn't work, emotion does. And so I would talk to her and say, you know, you have to pretend you're at the front. You have to say when you're on the plane, I love it. Oh, my God. Flying thrills me. It elates me, it empowers me, it delights me. I love flying. Your mind goes, you're right. And when you go, I'm going to be blown out of the sky to smithereens. Your mind goes, you're right, because here's Another rule of the mind. It does not care if what you do it is right or wrong, good or bad, true or false, healthy or unhealthy. It just lets it in. So let me show you. Put your hand in front of your mouth. You may have done this before, but let's do it again. Put your hand in front of your mouth like you're about to eat. Close your eyes and imagine you have a big, fat, juicy, gorgeous lemon in your hand. I want you to breathe in that gorgeous, gorgeous lemon smell. I want you to squish that lemon and feel the waxy surface. Open your mouth, still with your eyes closed, shove that lemon in your mouth and eat it. I want you to bite the flesh of that lemon. Suck out the flesh. Suck out the lemon. Start chewing it. Eat that whole entire half of a lemon. Keep going. Keep sucking, chewing, and swallowing. And open your eyes and put your hand up. If you made saliva. So here's a question for you. Where was the lemon? Where was it? Say that again. Yeah. People say there wasn't one. Oh, there was. There definitely was a lemon. It was in your imagination. You know there's no lemon. You go, what's going on here? I know there's no lemon. Why am I pumping outside and going like that? What am I doing that for? I know it's not there, but. But your mind believes it. The mind will believe everything you tell it. Tell it great things. Don't use wishy washy. I hope I try. Maybe. Who knows? You know, I took. I had a partner years ago who's very ill, and I took him to see a doctor, and the doctor got out the notes and went, mm, I'll try to make you better. I do the very best. I said, this is not the doctor for you. He's like, look, this is my illness. I'm like, I know if I'm a therapist, we have to interfere. It's our job. It's our calling. So you cannot go to an oncologist that says, I will try, and I hope this works. And if it doesn't, we'll try something else, because it's filling your mind up with nothing. So I'm very lucky. I'm in the book in London for the best doctors in England. I'm not a doctor. I'm a therapist. But they very nicely put me in there. Very happy about that, because I can speak to all the other doctors. So I said to some doctors, who. Who is the best one? They went, roger Kirby, without a second's hesitation. So I called Kirby and Said, look, we're in the same book. I have this friend with cancer. He said, oh, that's my area of excellence. Bring him in. I brought him in. And when he said to him what he had, he went, well, I happen to be the best oncologist in Europe for your problem, and I will fix it. You will be fine. You'll still be here when you're 75. Which one do you think he liked? And he did say, well, I've already got someone. He went, who is he? He went, oh, I trained him. He's not as good as he went, right, I'm going to the teacher, not the student. Because the words, I am the best. I know what to do. You're in good hands. I will save you. I will cure you. We're allowed to say that in the uk. I will make you better. Very different to, well, I'll try. We have this new drug. It could work. If it doesn't, there's something else. We can only hope. I mean, that puts fear. We can only hope. Let's try. Don't do that. We. This is amazing. This is awesome. This is phenomenal. I use the same words all the time when I'm teaching my students, my RTT grads. You are elated, you're empowered, you are thrilled, you're delighted. This is awesome. This is amazing. When I make clients, I love the words. Where did you get those words? I'm like, well, I find the most negative ones and I flip them over. I'm useless, I'm spectacular, I'm terrified, I'm delighted. And by the way, fear and excitement are exactly the same. You can be on a fun fair screaming your head off and going, oh, look at that wheel. Are they scared or excited? I don't know. Do you? Because it's the same. When you're excited, you scream. And when you're scared, you scream. So whatever you're doing, say, I'm excited and you'll feel excited. Or go, I'm terrified and you'll feel terrified. We've done. In the battle between emotion and logic, emotion always wins. Your mind does what it thinks you want it to do. This is probably one of the most powerful rules of the mind. Here's your mind's job. It's got a very clear job. I'm your mind and I'm going to do what I think you want. And when you say, oh, this commute is killing me, my boss makes me want to do. My kids are making me go up the wall, I am stressed out of my mind. By the freeway. Your mind goes, oh, you keep telling me that something is killing you. It appears to be your job or your commute. Why don't I just give you a lovely ulcer and then you can stay home and avoid that place that's killing you. That's its job. Why don't you do your job and talk to your mind better? The commute is a pain, but I have great CDs to listen to. I have stuff to do. My boss is difficult with everyone. It's not me. He's not there and having sex with my wife. He's not in the room and having a lovely dinner. This is temporary. He's an unhappy person. Do it better. You will get what you want when you tell your mind what you want. But here come the words. Let's imagine you're going to give a speech and the words are, oh, my God, I'm freaked out. I'm terrified. I'm going to go bright right out of my mouth and go, oh, I haven't got the time right. I'm so nervous. Your mind goes, do not get on that stage. If you walk to that stage, I'm going to give you a massive panic in the middle of the room because you told me you don't want to do it and I've got to do what you want. Or you can go, I am fantastic at speaking. I've got something to say. People like me. What I have to say is of value. Speaking to a stage is like speaking to my wife or husband. And then your mind goes, get on that stage and do it. You always have a choice, but your mind's job is to do what it thinks you want. When you go, I want a week off. Who's ever done this? What I would give for a week off lying in bed, your mind goes, leave that with me. Now you got the flu. How cool am I? I listen to you. You wanted a week off lying around watching Netflix, now you got it. That's not what you wanted. You need to say, I need some time. And I'm like a battery. I need to recharge and I need. I'm okay at working full out all week because at weekends I recharge like a battery. Now your mind understands. But saying, I'd give anything not to have to chair that meeting. Mind goes, how about a nice dose of diarrhea? I can bring that up for you. You don't want to chair that meeting. You said, I'd do anything not to go, I'd rather kill myself than give that Presentation to my boss. Your mind goes, don't kill yourself. I just give you a really upset stomach. Now you can't even leave the bathroom. There's no chance you're meeting your boss. Done what you wanted? I know I'm making it funny, but it is funny that so many people don't understand. Your mind's job is to do what it thinks you want. And it bases that on one thing. The words you use and the pictures you put in your head. And here's some great news. You can change those words and change those pictures like that. And when you do that, it changes everything. So your mind tries to move you towards pain, away from pain. And towards pleasure, too. I mean, so many kids are going, I want to ask out this girl. I want to talk to that boy. But I'm so nervous. They won't like me and they're going to reject me and laugh at me. And if they keep doing that, the mind's going to go, no, don't go there. Stay the way you are. So you have to say, people like me. I'm a great kid. I get all my young kids to write on their mirror, I'm an awesome kid. I'm enough. And it really changes them because they start to feel it. I'm an awesome kid. I can talk to a girl like I can talk to my friend. And then they feel okay. But if you keep linking pain to them, your mind goes, don't go there, don't go there. And if you link pleasure to it, you go there. Because you're giving your mind an easy job. I've got to work on my website all weekend and all my friends are in the bar so I can link paint. It's not fair. It's not fair that I've got to spend all weekend writing when I could be in the pub. Now your mind's going to go, I think you should tidy up your sock drawer, make sure all your forks face the right way, then plump up the cushions and then go to the pub because it's very clear you do not want to work on your website. But oh, boy, getting those forks and knives in line is really compelling. Who's done that? Most of us do that. I suddenly need to do the laundry, which I don't even like. I'm tidying up my house because I'm saying I don't want to write that bit of work. How about saying it thrills me to work on my website? I'm elated working on my website. There is nowhere I'd rather be in the whole world right now than sitting in my office working on my website. Your mind goes, I'm going to set you on fire now. You're going to be doing this till two in the morning. You told me you love it and it thrills you. Let me fill you up with energy and passion. I'm a writer. I know how this works. I never go, oh, my God, I got to write a book. It's so lonely, it's so isolating. And what if no one likes it? What if it goes on Amazon? They go, I hate that book and it gets no stars. Or I can go, I love writing. How cool is it? I get to write. And people pay for my books and they like them and they give me great reviews because there's the choice going on again. So whatever you want, you must link massive pleasure to what you want. And you can link pain to what you don't want, but I don't bother to do that. Let's think of all the pain. Your book's never published. You go into your coffin, it's still in a drawer. You don't have to do that. Just focus on the pleasure bit. I'm a writer. It's amazing. My book is published. I used to always imagine my book in stores. I'd imagine going to an airport, see people reading my book, and when I did, it was like, wow. But your mind went, well, I took you there because you showed me very clearly what you wanted. I had that image to take you to because what you want wants you and what you are moving towards is moving towards you. Don't move towards fear, don't move towards failure. Don't move towards it going wrong, Move towards it going.