A short YouTube monologue by Vishen Lakhiani reflecting on parenting, anchored in Kahlil Gibran’s poem from The Prophet and teachings of Dr. Shefali Saberi. Lakhiani argues parents should guide but not control children, avoid imposing their beliefs (religion, culture, nation), and recognize children as spiritual beings with their own paths; he illustrates this with a personal anecdote (photo of his children on a Tallinn beach) and invites audience responses.
Chapters
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. Kahlil Gibran wrote those words in his epic book the Prophet. I always agree. I tried as a parent to guide my kids, but not to control them. And then at Mike Mellow University, I got to learn from Dr. Shefali Sabari. She wrote an amazing series of books on conscious parenting and has been on Oprah numerous times. Shefali pushed us all to see parenting in a totally different way. What I learned from her is that we need to see our kids as spiritual beings having a human experience. Our job is to guide them, but not to make decisions for them. Too many of us, and I've been guilty of this too, give them our thoughts. We implant in them our religions, our philosophies, our worldviews. Shefali says let your children decide for themselves. You can teach them about the beauty of Estonia or Indian culture, but let them know that there are other cultures out there. And don't suggest that your religion or your culture or your nation has it all figured out. All of this is nothing more than a mentally constructed form, she says. In reality, we are beyond nations, religions and cultures. We are spirit. As Gibran says in the continuation of that poem, you may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their soul, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday as I listened to Shefali, she echoed the wisdom of Gibran so eloquently and I started to understand Gibran in a whole different way. And a few weeks ago I shared a photo of my two kids waiting in the low tide of Strumi beach in Tallinn, Estonia this summer as the sun sets, the entire message resonated with me. Then it hit me that my children certainly do not belong to me. So what are your views on parenting as you hear these messages from Shefali Sabari and Khalil Gibran? How do you see them? How do you parent? Do you agree or disagree? Would love to know your thoughts. Share in the comments below. Sam.
