Olla Abbas uses Lego bricks as a metaphor for how personal stories build who we are. She recovered a childhood memory of sexual abuse through journaling, was dismissed when she told her mother, and found that sharing this story publicly gave her a voice she didn't have before.
Chapters
I always try to find simple ways to understand the person that I am. Sometimes I wish I could break myself into pieces so I can understand each piece and what it represents. Almost like playing with Legos. If I had to build a bicycle, let's say, with Legos, and I had the pieces spread on the floor to start, I'll probably pick a simple piece, maybe a wheel or a steering handle, just because they're easy to find, easy to understand and put together. But I'll probably have a challenge when I reach the gears, because they're more complicated, they're not so easy to understand or to put together. And I might have the tendency to push them aside and play with other tiny pieces. But I know for a fact if I don't take the time to to bring these gears back, understand them, and put them into the bicycle, that bicycle will not start moving. Now, let's imagine we had to build a person and we had all the pieces spread on the floor. To me, the pieces, we represent our stories. Some stories are like wheels. They're easy to understand and easy to share. And others are just like gears. They're more complicated, we don't understand them, and they're not easy to share. But just like that bicycle, if you remove an important part out of a structure, the structure is not complete. You know, it took us months to organize, month and months to organize Mindvalley Reunion. You can imagine the amount of organization and details that can come into an event like this. But the most difficult part for me was to actually just come and speak to you guys for simple three minutes. You see, I always identified myself as a shy person. I've always been the girl in school who would be quiet even if I had all the answers, or even if I'm in a meeting and had an amazing idea. I will hear that voice that tells me, maybe next time. And I didn't really have an issue with it until the day I was really frustrated because I couldn't stand up for myself in a situation. And that day, I remember I went back home, I grabbed a journal, and I wrote down, today I'm starting my own healing journey. I didn't even know what that meant because I didn't know what I was healing from. But I just started writing random shit anyways. So the more I wrote, I realized more stories were coming back to me. Stories that I'd forgotten about from childhood, the stories that are more complicated, the stories that are not easy to understand or share. But that's exactly what I'm going to do today. Share a gear, just because I know this is a safe space, first of all. And also, I'm just hoping that I can open the space or the platform for you guys to trust each other and to share as you go through this journey this weekend. When I was a little girl, I used to have hiding places in the house. A lot of them, actually. And those hiding places were not for me to play hide and seek with my siblings, but because I grew up into a situation where I had to deal with child molestation with a particular relative. And I was a little girl, so I didn't share it with anyone. Until one day I remember I was a teenager and we had some construction work happening. So the noise woke me up. I walk into my mother's bedroom, and I was washing my hands in her bathroom. And the next thing I know, I feel a presence behind me. So I turn around and I realize it was one of the constructor, the construction workers. And before I can do anything, the guy reaches out and touches me inappropriately. And for the very first time, I don't think and I act. So I ran out and I ran fast, and my feet landed me in front of my mother. So I told her the entire story. So my mother rushes to the room to speak to this guy and ask him, what did you do? And I was right behind her. And of course, he told her something between the lines, like it was an accident and so on. And I was standing there. I didn't bother to explain myself because I knew, one, my mom would know better. And two, I was just thinking, oh, my God, I finally spoke out for the first time in my life. And before I end that thought, my mom turns to me and says, don't say anything and just go to your room. So she actually didn't believe me. And honestly, I never thought that story ever affected me until the day I was writing these final words in my journal, and I realized those sentences my mom used, I used as my life mantras. I used them in school, I used them in meetings, and I used them throughout my life. And it was until that moment that I sat down and brought back that complicated story and just shared it with myself that I was able to come here and stand in front of you guys and share it. So what I would love to invite you guys to do this weekend as you enter this journey is to bring all your Lego pieces and throw them on the floor. You can pick a wheel or a seat, but with honest, pure vulnerability. I say the most transformation comes when you pick and share that gear thank you very much. Thank you.
