276 Erick Godsey: Discovering Our Human Nature

I think it is better to try to redirect your programming towards the highest value than to try to invest all the energy it would take to deprogram all the programming. And I think all of us can take whatever that set programming was in the first seven years of our life and then kind of redirect it towards the highest possible good that that programming could be. Because on one sense, if you take on the story that we chose our parents, we chose this program, and so I think it's more effective to redirect it as opposed to spending 40 years trying to completely undo it. And so I've just consciously chosen to redirect the river towards the part of the ocean I want it to go instead of completely trying to dam up the entire river of my conditioning.

That's Eric Godse, and this is episode 276 of Wellness Force Radio, where we discover the physical and emotional intelligence to live life. Well, what's up, my friend?

Welcome back to the podcast.

It's Josh Trent if you're joining us for the first time. Welcome. Let me be the first one to.

Tell you how good it is to be with you.

Capital B, capital E. Right now, you probably came here from a friend or a colleague or maybe somebody that cared to send you over. And today, whether it's your first time or you've been with us since the beginning 2015, this podcast today is going to expand your consciousness and provoke new thoughts that are going to lead to greater well being and a powerful version of you. We're talking with my friend and podcast host. His name is Eric Godsey and we're Discovering Our Human Nature. It's the title of the show today. Whether you're a fan of Carl Jung or you just have an interest in philosophy, or you're here at the crossroads, like we all are, of physical and emotional intelligence, maybe you're just trying to understand why the same habit loops keep popping up in your love life, in your relationships, or even your relationship with yourself.

You're going to love this show.

We got to record this live at.

The Paleo FX show.

In the sunlight and sauna experience, there.

Was a media booth.

It was like six feet above everybody. By the way, have you sat in one of these saunas yet? One of these sunlightens? Beyond just the science of detoxification and increased cellular activity, these saunas actually promote youth and vitality through this medium of temperature and state change. I'm sure you've seen on TV where people go from like ice bath to sauna.

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Increasing your core temperature for short periods of time, like sitting in a sauna that Joe Rogan does, that all these people do. It's not only health promoting, but it can improve your performance. Specifically if you look at the scientific research around improving cardiovascular mechanisms, lowering heart rate and really low lowering core body temperature during workouts. Plus it just feels amazing. Have you been looking to get more sweat into your mornings or your evenings or your afternoons? This is an affordable and it's a high performance warranty backed sauna. You can use it at your house or your gym. Give sunlighten a test drive. You have actually nothing to lose. Just go to wellnessforce.com sauna that's wellnessforce.com sauna and use code wellnessforce to get free shipping. Plus they smell so good. Do you love the way that like new wood smells? You know, people put those chips of wood in their closet or in their drawers. It smells so good. Freshly cut wood. All right, maybe it's just me. You know what I'm saying, right? That fresh wood smell. Go to wellnessforce.com sauna and use code wellnessforce. You get free shipping on your brand new sauna, give it a test drive and see what it's made out of. Eric's made out of something different though. He's a man, still in his 20s, late 20s, I believe, early 30s. He's a lot younger than me, but he's extremely woke. This term woke af. What does that really mean? It means that someone is on the path of discovering who and how powerful they are. And this is exactly why all of us are here. It's why you're here. Rather than tell you all the different aspects of this podcast, I'm going to do something different. For the intro today. I'm just going to read you one powerful quote about what Eric and I explored in this podcast. He says instead of investing all your time and energy into uninstalling the program you've already received, redirect your life with the goal to create the highest possible good and value in this world. Head over to the show notes page@wellnessforest.com 276. Get the 10 top bullets and the tools and resources from this podcast. This conversation. Now let's drop in deep with the one and only Eric Godsey.

Eric Godsey, welcome to Paleo FX 2019.

Thank you for having me on, brother.

I met you when Kyle had me on the show and I was like there was some kind of energetic exchange between you and I and it felt so interesting that I was like, I'm going to follow my curiosity about Eric. Next thing I knew, Carl Jung. We have in common, metaphysics, existentialism, the concept of what the hell we're doing here, all these different things.

Yeah, man.

Thanks for being on Wellness Force, man.

Thank you for seeing that and for feeling that and for chasing that curiosity and for having me on.

You're welcome. You know, let's start at this place. Our love for Young. One of my favorite quotes that he talks about is, until you make the unconscious conscious, it'll rule your life and you'll call it fate.

Amen. Yeah.

What is your fascination with Jung and that quote? Let's talk about that quote specifically.

Yeah. So my fascination with Jung was he was my road to spirituality. I grew up a very loud, very arrogant atheist, but I prayed at night, and I wouldn't tell anybody that I prayed at night. But whenever anyone would try to talk about religion, I would be the first person to basically try to shoot it down. And I think in hindsight, I was trying to find a story for religion that resonated with this thing inside of me that I couldn't quite articulate. And Jung was the first person that I found in college that started to explain it in a way that I was like, yes. And that quote specifically, I think.

Probably.

The thing that Jung taught me that was the most transformative is man is an enigma to himself. And that your conscious mind is like 1% of the totality of what you are, and the other 99% is unconscious or subconscious. And there are characters, there are personalities inside of you that don't feel like they're your conscious mind. And they're in everyone, and they're in mythologies, they're in fairy tales. They're the gods. And if you do not have conscious awareness of these forces, they will, quote, unquote, possess you. I think it's where we get the whole idea and the myths around what possession is. I think whenever you meet someone and they're like, I just wasn't myself that day. That's one of the characters inside of you that get triggered by specific things that you've learned to rely on to cope with some patterns earlier in your life, and if you're not aware of it, it'll come out of you, you know, and Aries will come out, or Aphrodite will come out or Hera will come out. You know, those are kind of the. Because I read a lot of Greek growing up. That's how. That's where I default. But the gods are in us.

Yeah, the gods are in us. And it's funny. God is in your last name.

We're all gods.

And I think people forget about that. We are such powerful creators.

Yeah.

And I know I'm using language that the personal development industry is like, overused a bit, for sure. But the truth still remains. And I believe that the truth hides in plain sight for a reason. I was actually here in Austin last year. I saw Michael Pollan talk about his book, and he brought up this concept of the social media meme where people will put spiritual quotes out there. And in a way it's helpful, and in a way it's actually negative because I think people start taking the truth less lightly, for sure. What's your sense on social media's input from. For the crux of our conversation, this understanding of the self?

Yeah. So there's actually a lot of beautiful ways that you can actually use social media to become aware of the parts of you that you're unconscious to. Like the algorithms on Instagram that are trying to show you what it thinks you want is based off of your unconscious behavior on that app. And so if you want a snapshot of what the unconscious forces inside of you are doing, go look at the recommended feed to you. And the algorithm is actually trying to help you, I think, you know, and it can be used as a self awareness tool. And then also the thing about social media is I think it's like power and it's like money. It has a heavy gravitational pull, and if you're warped in some way, it will exaggerate that warpedness, but it's not inherently bad. I think lots of people want to blame the tools as opposed to taking responsibility for the aspects of themselves that are being amplified by the tools. And that's where I'm at with social media.

Yeah. So the wielding of this conscious social media tool, it's the same way that a hammer can hurt someone. You can take somebody's life with a hammer. You could also build a beautiful mansion or a kid's center. So the tool is a byproduct of the consciousness of the hand that holds it. How would you describe your work specifically around conscious tools? Do you have like a go to tool set when you get stressed?

Oh, for sure, man.

What is that tool for you for.

Sure, My foundational tool is journaling. And I think for most people in the Western world, especially if you study Eastern philosophies, you want to start with trying to sit down and meditate. But I think Most people in the west are so far removed from even getting to that place of stillness that I think the gateway there is journaling. And there is so much amazing research on something called expressive writing.

Is this similar to morning pages? I've heard about that. Like just a dump, no judgment, just get it out.

Exactly. I truly think the foundational piece to transforming your life is directly proportionate to your ability to be honest with yourself. And I think expressive writing, or like the pages you write in the morning, for most people that will be the container where they can start to begin to be honest with themselves about their shit. Because as soon as you start getting even a percentage of awareness, you can feel that when you're in front of somebody, your insecurities and your anxieties are going to invite you to exaggerate or to lie by omission or just to outright lie. And the thing about the daily pages is it's an invitation. For me, it was the first time in my life where I actually felt comfortable being honest with myself. Because before the daily pages and there were other things happening in my life, but I had this constant sense of fear that people would see the true me and would reject me. And it's just this low grade anxiety that's behind your head all the time. And the beautiful thing, man, is once you start being vulnerable and honest with people, it's. It's never not worked out beautifully. Yeah, but the morning pages for me specifically, I started doing them the day after my three year relationship ended and I had a back spasm that was so bad that I couldn't walk for five days. That's when I got the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and I started doing the daily pages. And I did it almost with a religious fervor that I didn't really understand where it was coming from. It was coming from the fact that I was in like the lowest point of my life at that point so far.

Do you feel like that was the ultimate rock bottom?

I wouldn't say ultimate rock bottom, but it was absolutely.

It was bottom enough.

Right. And I dare not invite the universe to claim that that was my ultimate rock bottom, because then the universe will laugh and be like, oh, really? That was the bottom rock? No idea. Yeah, exactly.

So the interesting part about this is there's tools, but then there's also like the human being who's holding the hammer, holding the tool. And I think about the journaling for you. You were probably in your early 20s when you were journaling. That's not a typical thing. That a young 20 year old man does. What about you actually drew that to the practice of doing that? It's pretty rare.

Yeah, I think probably because. So I was obsessed with playing basketball when I was younger and it was my God dream and then I tore my rotator cuff and my God dream died. And I wasn't aware enough at that time. But I got surgery when I was 18. I lived alone for lots of reasons that aren't really useful to the story. And I got addicted to painkillers and I was so unaware that I didn't even know that I was in the depths of a depression that really with me. And then when I came out of it, I started working out and then I found podcasting. I found Joe Rogan, Aubrey Marcus was talking about Ayahuasca. I didn't know what the fuck that was. And then I found Duncan Trussell and I started listening to all these podcasts and then I got into psychedelics when I was probably 19 and I got into psychedelics into such a way that was not healthy. Long story. Like I was trying to find my energetic dad basically. I didn't feel the. I didn't feel the presence of my father as a child. So I tried to find that in books and it got me into philosophy. And I was an 18 year old who started to read Nietzsche and that fucked me up in a way that I would not recommend to most 18 year olds. And psychedelics brought me to a point where I almost lost my mind and then I had to try to put it back together and I didn't know how to be in the world. I didn't even really understand what the world was. I was lost. And journaling was one of the ways that I slowly started to put my brain back together because I. I truly believe that if I was living with my parents when I was doing psychedelics as much as I was in college, I was basically doing a heavy dose of either mushrooms or LSD or DMT every weekend for about 12 weeks.

Sounds pretty manic, like frenetic.

What was odd is my energy was the opposite of manic. Like while that was happening, it was this just kind of like I wasn't preaching it to anybody. I wasn't even telling my friends because none of my friends around that time would have even have understood what I was doing. But I was trying to find my spiritual father basically in myself and on some level. And I really believe that if I had been around my family when I was doing that, I would have been put in like an outpatient hospital. And they were going to. And they would have given me things. But journaling was one of my tools to put my brain back together, man.

And I. Journaling is a practice of mine, but for me, it's three things. It's what do I actually get to be grateful for, and then three more. What am I going to accomplish today? What's the things today that. That if nothing else worked out, I would be loved and I would be supported if these three things unfolded. So it doesn't have to be this. I think people can get overwhelmed with journaling. Like, they might listen to you and they'd be like, oh, my God, this sounds. So I gotta journal. I gotta write down my thoughts every day. Like, I'm too busy with work stress and life stress. I think about the way you've described archetypes. Like you said, the spiritual father. I love that because I believe that we talked about this with Christine Hassler on this very stage. Like, we choose our parents. We've been here before. This is all kind of coming back to us again as we remember who we are. Do you have a sense that you chose this situation to understand who your spiritual father actually is?

Yeah. So this is an interesting idea that I do struggle with. And basically my metaphysical belief system is pragmatism, which is basically this idea that we are evolved creatures. And because we are, we don't have the cognitive apparatuses to know objective truth. So the best thing that we can do is use ideas like tools in the world that we're in, and the ones that help us live the life that we want, that's quote unquote true. And the ones that don't aren't. And then the ideas that you can't even use as tools, it's just not even worth talking about it. Like, for me, that really helps my brain not go insane. And this perspective is one of those tools that I know I can't know, but I know if I use it, it helps my life.

Yeah.

And so the truth is, I don't know. I don't know if that's how this works. But I do know that if you give that story to a person, it can give them a sense of autonomy, which is one of the key things that we need in order to have a healthy, functioning psyche. And, you know, my dad not being a strong force in my life growing up gave me the freedom to go find fathers in history and in books. And I would not be the man that I am today if my father had been a stronger presence. And I Didn't go try to find fathers in books.

Yeah. You know, I love this exploration because my father left home when I was real young. I mean, I was literally a baby. I couldn't even comprehend what was around me at that point. I was learning. My brain was so malleable. And at these ages, zero through seven, conception through seven, that's when our hemispheres are most connected. That's when we're getting downloads about who we're going to be, how we're going to be, what feels good, what doesn't. Am I safe? Am I supported? The Maslow's triangle is in full effect. You know, safety and security. So looking back at your life 0 through 7, what about that was yet a challenge and a gift that you bring to the world now? For sure.

So this is a great question, man. Without placing judgment on anyone, the relationship that I had with my mom was unconditional love. But I was expected. Unconsciously, I was invited to be her psychologist. And so as a child, that really cultivated my ability to have empathy and compassion. But it also, a six year old should not have to be their parents. Psychologist?

Hell no.

You know, but like everything I'm doing in the world now was programmed in those first seven years. And on some level I understand that everything that I'm doing is an anthropomorphic projection onto culture, what I was doing as a child with my mom. And I'm grateful for that. Like, I feel good when I feel like I'm doing things that could potentially help the culture in a way that I was unable to do for my mom when I was a child. And I'm supremely grateful for that.

How many people are running around to our initial question, quoting young, subconscious conscious. How many people are running around with this programming that's imprinting like literally as if you were burning a waffle maker or a design into someone's skin. That's what happens to the mind so early. So you could have chosen to go down this road of, oh, I'm always going to be a therapist for my whole life for other people, because that's what I learned when I was six. What made you not choose to go down that route?

Existential terror. You know, truly like doing the amount of psychedelics that I did in college. It's like some part of me knew that it was putting me through an initiation ritual. And I really, like, I really contended with, I know I'm going to die. And I know that everything that I do will eventually be forgotten at some point in time. Everything I've ever done will eventually be forgotten. So what should I do? And I think it is better to try to redirect your programming towards the highest value than to try to invest all the energy it would take to deprogram all the programming. And I think all of us can take whatever that set programming was in the first seven years of our life and then kind of redirect it towards the highest possible good that that programming could be. Because on one sense, if you take on the story that we chose our parents, we chose this programming and so I think it's more effective to redirect it as opposed to spending 40 years trying to completely undo it. And so I've just consciously chosen to redirect the river towards the part of the ocean I wanted to go instead of completely trying to dam up the entire river of my conditioning.

I think about Morin Gillette who wrote King War, Magician Lover, one of my all time favorite books. It's the most tagged highlighted pen marked noted book in my entire library. And one of the things is, I believe they call it the armchair petulant child. The one that sits and judges everyone. And it really stems back to a mother wounding.

Yeah.

And I think about, you know, you shared so authentically man, about your situation. Like my, I was raised in a situation where my mom was unfortunately bipolar and so I could have used that as a reason to go down the path that I'm always a therapist and it's just not true. Yet when we look at this construct of the armchair tyrant, I think is actually what Gillette called it. The armchair tyrant is really just most afraid of being vulnerable, being seen. That's why it wants what it wants because it doesn't know any other agenda, doesn't know any other mode. Has there been a time in your life where you can honestly say, looking back, wow, I was the tyrant? Absolutely. I was the person who was literally getting in my own way, guarding my heart. Heart walls up. What was that time? How did you unfold that?

Yeah, man, the exploration into philosophy that preceded doing psychedelics, I thought, or the story I was telling myself is, you know, I don't. I'm so woke that I'm going to go learn philosophy and write the best philosophical book that's ever been written. And it'll be purely rational and will get rid of all of the irrational parts of the heart and the body. And in hindsight, I know for a fucking fact that that was my wounded child creating walls of language to keep me from genuinely connecting to all the people in my life that in hindsight, I know we're trying to connect with me. And I was beating them away with language. And truly, it was allowing myself to fall in love and be in a relationship that began to destroy that false facade, you know, because you will not be in a healthy relationship with a female if you're just trying to be, quote, unquote, logical.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah. Even as much as we want to be seen as perfect or having all of our shit together, I got to be honest with you, ain't nobody got all their shit together, even if it seems like they do. And I get to have conversations with amazing people like you, and I talk to them and they put their pants on one leg at a time. It's so easy when people going back to the social media piece, look on social media, and they'll see someone is having it all together with their branding and their positioning and who they are. But, man, it's so refreshing and just so human to realize everyone is learning along the way.

Yeah, this is a great point. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a friend, and he was really overwhelmed. And I remember admitting, like, dude, at least once a week, I have to stop what I'm doing. It'll be in the middle of a workday, and I will leave my desk and I will go journal, and I will write out, like, why am I alive? Why am I doing what I'm doing? And when I told him that, his whole body relaxed, and he was like, dude, it's really good to hear that, because from my. My angle, it looks like you have it all. It looks like you know what you're doing. And then that day, I knew I had to go make an Instagram post and admit that, like, it is an overcompensation of an unconscious part of me that I put out stuff on my Instagram that makes it seem like I know what I'm doing. And the truth is, is at least once a week, I get so overwhelmed by what's happening in my life that I have to stop and I have to reconnect to why I believe I'm alive. And that's one of the most highly engaged things I've ever put out on Instagram because it instantly resonated with everyone who follows what I'm doing. And I still get compliments from other influencers who have seen that post. And it's like, dude, it's really cool that you did that, because I feel that way, too. But I might not want to share it with my audience, because it might Fuck up the.

Yeah. And it's like, just be honest. And those two words just be the being.

It's cool.

On your homepage, I'm trying to understand human nature. This word trying, though, especially if we think about Mike and Mark's work within lifted and just conscious language. Mary Shores, we had on the show Conscious Communications. When I read it yesterday, I was like, I wonder what he means by trying, because you don't seem like the kind of person that's trying to me, you seem like the kind of person that's more in discovery process. So I want to like, healthily challenge you on that homepage. Like, what's up with the trying word?

Yeah. I do know that an ego game that I play is I will make myself. I will articulate myself to other people as less than what I know. My truth is, because on some level, I think that that's being humble. But the truth is that I know is that that's an ego game that my ego is playing to make me seem even better. And that is an example of something that most of the stuff that I write, I just allow it to be in the moment, and I almost don't ever go back and re change it, but I will absolutely think about what word would be better than trying. Does one come up for you about a word that would fit more authentically than trying?

Well, I have to check my ego as well, too, right now, because I want to say you're discovering like me, because on Wellness Force, man, we're discovering. Discovering this physical and emotional intelligence so we can live our life well. That's. That's what the hell we're doing. Or at least that's my mission.

Yeah.

You know, and I feel like you're a brother in that circle for sure, where you're discovering this human nature that we're all experiencing. And. Yeah, so. And. And this is why I love organic podcast conversations. Because, you know, the. The download that came in for me and what I felt from you when I met you at the. At the ONIT office was a. A groundedness, that's plural, that continues to go on. And that groundness gets changed and challenged all the time, for sure. Like, in your life right now, what's the thing that challenges your groundedness the most?

To be honest, currently, the thing that is challenging my groundedness the most is this invitation to a new relationship with a woman that feels like. What is so challenging and beautiful is that everything that I've read about Jung and about the unconscious, I can feel the programs in me wanting to project archetypes onto this relationship that hasn't started yet that are the foundations for quote unquote, falling in love. Like, and I can feel that it's an evolutionary program seizing me. And on some level I don't want to stop it because it feels like that's trying to almost spiritually bypass such a museum. Right. And I feel it coming through me. But I know that that's the part in my life that is challenging my groundedness the most. And the beautiful thing is that I'm going to invite it, you know, and I want to watch what unfolds and what happens. And it's, it's, it's the controlled folly of the fact that we are, we are the gods who shit. You know, so we are consciousness inside of a, inside of a very real body.

Yeah.

That has been programmed by selective pressures on this planet, by evolution. That wants, it wants the meat suit to do specified programmed things. But we have consciousness and a lot of those programmings come up when you, when you feel like, oh, this mate, you know, this is the genes inside of me being like babies. Babies. Because on one level that's why our genes made the meat suit.

Yes.

And so that's currently where I'm the least grounded and I'm watching it.

Oh, and man, is there any of a more challenging and beautiful container than a dance with the feminine?

Right.

I mean, what is more challenging than that?

Yeah.

I don't think, you know, whether it's polyamory or a sacred conscious coupling, both of those have their unique challenges.

Absolutely.

Like, I'm not in the camp of polyamory, but I don't have judgment for people that are.

Yeah.

It just, for my nervous system, it doesn't pan out. It doesn't, doesn't work correctly because I'm, I'm still in the understanding of, in the discovery process of what it's like to fully be in intimacy with a feminine woman.

Yeah.

And I'm so attracted to women that are like free flowing and they're, and they love being a woman. I think women are being challenged right now by other women who have been hurt. There's the pain body rippling that Eckhart Tolle talks about. What's your sense on the dance between the masculine and feminine now in 2019, especially with, let's be honest, like you working on it. There's a lot of different viewpoints there for sure about relationship.

Yeah. So this is something that I've been trying to explore for myself and I tried open for a while and Where I'm at right now in my consciousness, it just didn't work out very well. I know that from an attachment standpoint, like the attachment psychology framework, I'm. My unconsciousness is to avoid intimacy and I can get to a secure place. But I was finding that when I was doing open, I was in my avoidant attachment style where I was keeping women at arm's length and I wasn't getting the intimacy that I knew I wanted. But I've been thinking about this, and I think one way that you can look at people is one set of people find the divine through deep work, and one set of people find the divine through relationships. And we both have both parts in us, but I think that it can. Your programming can either be with the deep work or with the person. And I find that people who find the divine in the deep work seem to do better if they have one monogamous relationship that they can go deep in and it makes them feel safe and that that's okay. And then there are people that find the divine through relating to other people. You know, it's almost like the introvert extrovert, but I think kind of slightly different.

I'm an ambivert.

Yeah, I'm in the middle. And so, you know, you might have to explore. But what I find is that people who can find the divine in relationships open might be a truly interesting way to consciously find those bliss moments. Because I think on one level that's our highest state is to be in those quote, unquote bliss moments. And I know for me, I tend to find it in either a one on one interaction, you know, or deep work. And if I'm constantly worried about like four women and how I want to.

Show up, in truth, with all imagine.

It doesn't fit my body's energetic system either. But I went and I tried it the best that I could for about six months, and it just was not for me.

Well, because my sense from having this conversation in both the left and the right is the nervous system needs certain things in order to operate in homeostasis. So if my imprinting from 0 through 7 was that of challenge for safety and security, then can I just relax and be honest with myself about. Well, that's not for me because I require for my homeostasis safety and security. It's a pretty tumultuous ocean to be sailing on the ship of polyamory in an environment where we're constantly pulled away from life and presence by distractions and technology. So there's a lot to work with here. And I love that you said there's two places, because I think I fall into the one where that safety and security is more prevalent for me. Do you find that as you explored it, that that became even more clear to you, that you really require that safety and security?

For me, what was interesting is I found that by doing open. I didn't. It's almost like my heart would not let any of them close enough for it to even feel like a rewarding, intimate relationship. And I knew. I know that, like, I want children one day. And I know that I want to try to create a container that can cultivate children in a way that hopefully gives them slightly less programming than I got from my parents. And my parents did the best that they could and made a huge step forward compared to the parents that they had. And I think that, you know, I just wanted to continue that energetic, giving my children less ghosts than I got. And I could feel viscerally that I wasn't finding those connections in any of these relationships and that this had to do with my own defenses. And I just knew that I needed to. That I wanted to try monogamy after that.

Monogamy. And I think it was the Native Americans. And if I'm misphrasing this, it's the same meaning, same energy. Intimacy is actually seeing into someone else. And if I'm gonna look, if I'm gonna have the courage and really the balls to hold a space where I'm looking into a woman and I'm really seeing who she is, I get to have done my work too, right, man. I mean, that's what I think. There's no greater container and this is my vantage than a conscious coupling. Because all of your shit is going to come out, all of it, the wounding, the projections, the things that actually don't resonate that maybe the ego wants them to, all that stuff's going to come up. And as you step into this new relationship, this new opportunity, what are you holding sacred to yourself?

To speak my truth in love, period. Truly, to share all of my truth with this partner and let that be the thing that determines whether or not it works. Not my ego, not my strategizing, not my insecurities, my truth. And if I speak my truth the best that I know how every day, if it's not meant to work out, we'll know quickly, you know, and if it is going to work out, we'll know quickly. And I truly think, just for me personally, like, whenever I'm nervous about anything that has to do with like being in front of a human or being in front of a stage or whatever. It's show up, speak my truth in love, and then whatever happens is the best possible thing that can come from that. And so that's what I'm going to hold sacred in this relationship.

Yeah. And the learning curve with that is that sometimes speaking the truth can be the most terrifying. Like the most shaky voice. Speak the truth even if your voice shakes. For sure. I've heard that multiple times. And you know my truth. When I first started the show, my truth was that I really wanted to help people and I wanted to like use technology. And I was discovering if technology was the right fit. I had a massive shift in branding and movement and energy where I really found, with a business coach, I'm discovering what I'm most afraid of to share. And what I was most afraid of to share is that my body wasn't perfect. Who am I to be having these messages of, you know, higher consciousness and discovering this physical and emotional when I'm not in mastery? And then I was like, wow, the tyrant is back. You know, so this, this questions I'm asking you, I've explored myself and I feel like I'd love to get your take on this man. The real work now for creators or influencers is to create from that place of truth and love and not fall to the demise of ego and of popularity and of social misappropriation. You know, doing things just for likes, doing things just to be perceived as having it all together. How do you keep the North Star there?

For sure. So this is something that I viscerally remember. The night that I was walking around my old town, I just smoked some weed and it's. It was a beautiful night and I was thinking like, you are responsible for the audience that you attract. And a lot of people I think, get devoured by their audience because they sought to be something other than their true self. And so they fucking brought the mob to their gates and it ruined them. And I want to create an audience that if I met them, I would love talking to them. And the only way that I'm going to do that is to talk on the podcast and through social media. Like I'm talking to my best friends. And if I go away from that, I'm going to be devoured by an audience that I don't like. And that's hell. As a creator, if you don't like your audience, that's hell.

Yeah, you get to be careful what you ask for because if you wind up In a jail that you created, there's no one to blame but yourself. As they eat you, as they chew on your flesh.

Yeah.

So, man, with this discovery process, then this understanding of human nature, what fascinates you the most now?

I think what fascinates me the most right now, because it's where I'm at, is what tools can we use to uncover the unconscious characters? And I really think of them as characters inside of us that have been whispering behind the throne of consciousness that gets us into these patterns in our life. And how can we reprogram that? It's a very long story and I'm going to keep it as short as possible. But essentially, I've had some things happen with relationships in the past couple of months that have shown me that I have this unconscious character inside of me that would purposefully go after women that had a specific type of trauma where I know that we connected, but that when it came to the moment of really getting intimate, they would say no. And then I would feel betrayed. And then in my self righteous anger, I would go destroy myself in the gym in such a way where I would get hurt. And then I would. That was my way of punishing my body in a way where it wouldn't produce the energetic. The energetic programs to go find a partner again. And I was in this cycle for 10 years almost, except for a. Really for 15 years, except for a blimp of three years where I found a secure, stable relationship where I ignore all the women that want to be with me. I go find the one that has this weird energetic thing I can't even articulate. And then we do the dance for a couple of weeks or a couple of months. And then I get, quote unquote rejected. And then I go and I hurt myself either playing basketball or working out to the point where I don't feel the energy in my body that wants to connect with the other for a couple of months until I feel better again. Then I ignore all the women that want to be with me. I go find the one that has that specific. And it. I became aware of it a couple of years, maybe four months ago. And it was one of the deepest epiphany moments I've ever had in my entire life. And I was sober, which is big for me to have an epiphany and not be using any of the techniques or the tools that I have. And it has been the most profound personal insight that I've had in my entire life. And I'm trying to figure out a philosophical and pragmatic framework to help other people discover what their unconscious characters are that they feel like is fate.

What's the name of this unconscious character that does this?

So this is where it gets beautiful and weird. How I had the epiphany moment came from looking at my dreams. And my dreams were pointing me towards this myth in the Bible that I had never read. And it's Samson and Delilah. I had never read that story. And then I went and I read that story. And the ending of that story is he's kidnapped because he's betrayed by Delilah and he's chained to two pillars in a temple, and all of his enemies are in the temple. And he asks God for his power one last time. And God gives him the power. He tears down the pillars and kills everyone in the temple. This is going to sound woo, woo as fuck, but let's bring the woo.

Yes, we're bringing the woo.

The thing in my body that I hurt the most were the two muscles that were on the left and right side of my spine. And those were. Those were the ones that I would have back spasms after. I would feel rejected. That would fuck me up for a couple of weeks. And I think the temple is a metaphor for the body. And the columns is what this energetic force was tearing down. And I truly believe that your psyche is trying to help you through symbols in your dreams. And my psyche was trying to show me a symbol that it knew that if I went and followed, I would understand this thing. And Samson is the name of the character inside of me who seeks to be betrayed by the feminine so he can destroy the temple which is the body.

Let's let that land for a moment, because what exactly is the temple like, this temple of which you speak? Where is this place? Here in the 3D.

My body.

So tearing down the physical temple, that's the temple of which you speak, Was that the temple that you were metaphorically chained to as well?

Right. The. The unconscious belief is that the reason I was being rejected was because my body wasn't worthy. Basically, the primal wound was my mom walked in on me when I was masturbating when I was 11. And her response, this is no blame on her, but her response was so psychologically unhealthy that it really. It really wounded me. And it was that day that I went to basketball practice and I played better than I had ever played. And that. That was the primal cauldron. That was the forge that created this thing. And it's a pattern that's unfolded in my Life for the last 15 years.

Well, then this leads to the question, conscious sexuality.

Yeah.

There are some people that say, listen, it's a sexual force. It's the multiplication of life itself coming through us. Life is coming through us. That's what the sex energy, the sex magic is all about.

Yeah.

How do you wield sex consciously when you're single? Right. You're young man, strong voice, building himself.

Yeah.

Energy's flowing out, energy is coming back in. How do you wield sexuality consciously when you're dating as a single man or woman? What's your view on that?

My best attempt was to be honest at the beginning, on every first date, I basically explained, you go right to the first date, first date, right away. I explained, like, when I was trying open, I explained to them on the first date, this is what I'm trying to do. This is why I'm trying to do it. And the pattern was they were kind of surprised and they would say no on the first date. And every single one, a couple of days later would text me and be like, okay, I'm down. And then we would try. And what I found personally is I wouldn't let myself be as intimate during sex as I know my body wanted to be because I could feel that they wanted monogamy and that there was this weird thing where I wasn't allowing myself to be in complete truth during open. And now my plan is, you know, and God laughs at our plans. But my intention is to cultivate a monogamous relationship where we can explore all these wounds that I know I have with someone that I feel safe with, and we'll play out all of the stuff that I know that I have. And if they're human, they're going to have their shit, too. And I think it comes down to being able to speak openly about, like, here are the things that I know that I like, that I'm terrified to admit. Every single person in this conference room probably has those things. And then exploring those with the partner consciously, and then talking about, like, what comes. Like, this is my plan. And again, God laughs at our plans. This is my intention. And also I read on a Tim Ferriss newsletter that him and his partner, basically, we're getting, like, relationship and sex books and reading them together in bed. And that's my new fantasy now, is I want to buy challenging books on sexuality and read them with my partner at night and talk about what comes up.

Isn't that what we all want? The whole. The whole example of I want a partner in crime, you Know, what kind of crime is it that we have a society where it has to be a crime to partner in things that are actually attuned to our soul, like deep exploration of consciousness, sexuality, understanding, energy, medicine, health, biohacking, all these things that people here love that you and I are into. I think it's just the universe understanding itself. This is really at the tail end of our conversation here. Everything we've talked about, man, is the universe understanding why it does what it does just for the hell of it, just for the play of it. What's your stance on that?

I think of it as a dance, and I'm trying to hear my music and authentically share how it feels coming through me. And I want to find a dance partner. You know that's right, and that's how I really feel about it, is I can hear the symphony of my intuition, and I'm trying to have the courage to act in its truth. So I'm really grooving with the music. And if I dance long enough, in my truth, I'm going to find somebody who's dancing perfectly fits, and it might not perfectly fit forever, and I'm not trying to project onto that. But if I dance in my truth and I hear the symphony of my intuition, I'm going to meet the right people at the right time and just continue the dance moves. And then their dance moves will inform how I dance, and they'll just grow.

Two things. Eric and Josh are both accepting applications for dance partners. So listening, watching, feeling. You can send those to Wellness Force. Also, you have a podcast, which I've heard is epic. I have yet to dive into an episode which I'm really looking forward to. Parting guidance, man, for people that have tuned in, dropped in with us. What is this exploration unfolding for you when it comes to wellness? You know, we explore the physical and the emotional with Wellness Force. And if you could define wellness, what does that actually mean to you? What's your definition of wellness here in the 3D?

I think my definition of wellness is to cultivate a connection to your inner God, which we call intuition, and then to cultivate the courage to act on its behalf, and then to have faith that acting in its truth will produce the best possible life that you can.

The word that stuck to me was faith. Faith is a muscle. Eric Godsey, thanks for coming on the show, man. Thank you, brother. Tell people about the podcast. What did they learn about you?

It's called the Myths that make us, and you can check it out on itunes and Stitcher and all the places and basically we explore. I try to help the guest articulate the story that they're telling themselves about who they are and about what they think the world is.

All right, so if you're into Jungian philosophy and understanding the human being so that you can live life well, check out Eric's podcast. Thank you to Sunlight and Saunas for having us here. You know their tag is empowering wellness. I need to get in one of these saunas today, man. I'm feeling like it's time to heat up and score a little bit. Eric and Josh, we're out from Paleo 2019. Thank you for being part of this.

Thank you.

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