281 Tommy Baker: Honoring Your Seasons

It's not like the work stops in the winter. The inner work actually becomes more intense in the winter, which again, leads to some emotional challenges. Just be prepared for that. And again, spring and summer are going to have its own challenges. Creation, the idea of birthing something that didn't exist prior to your notion of bringing it to life, that requires a lot of courage. Because now it's not yours. Now it's out in the world. And when it's out in the world, people can throw stones at it and they can look at it and they can make assumptions on you. That holds a lot of people back. So when you're in spring and summer, like I was saying, this go all in on those seasons. That's your time to literally light it on fire and to speak your truth and put out stuff that you have resistance on, but deep down that you know is your truth, like, put that out.

That's Tommy Baker. And this is episode 281 of Oneness Force Radio, where we discover the physical and emotional intelligence to live life well. Hey, what's up, my friend? It's Josh Trent. Welcome. You're listening to Wellness Force because you're part of this community here of men and women who care about discovering this physical and emotional intelligence. Today on the podcast, we're bringing you, my friend, author, speaker, inspirational beacon of light brought here to planet earth to teach people how to take giant leaps of faith, how to merge with their personal power, and so much more in the realm of self development, self help. His name is Tommy Baker. He's a return guest on the Wellness Force. This is the second time, but this time I got to record live at his home in Scottsdale, hang out with his wife, Taylor Stone, and sit with Tommy cross legged, Indian style, right next to a Buddha on his living room floor to talk about this concept of honoring your seasons. Have you heard of this honoring your seasons question for you? Have you ever felt, though you're in a current season right now, whether it's spring or summer or fall, but emotionally, spiritually, like you did not feel that's where you were. In other words, have you ever had the sense that the pace of your dream or your desire is so much different than other people around you? Maybe right now you're going through something that just feels out of place in your workouts or your fitness, your nutrition or your health or even your mindset. This episode is going to deliver clarity and truth about this concept that Tommy calls honoring the seasons. Now, this concept of honoring the seasons, the reason I took a deep Dive with this one. In a different situation where Tommy and I actually interviewed each other. He was interviewing me for the Academy podcast. I was interviewing him for Wellness Force. We came together on this one as brothers and as men who truly see the power in this world of accessing where we really are emotionally, spiritually, mentally, not just in the winter, but also in every single season of our lives. What it means here to really explore this, I think you're gonna love it. Because if you're in a current winter season or if you've been feeling a change brewing in your life, maybe there's a relationship or healthy boundaries that you need to go enforce. Or maybe it's just like learning how to let go of things right and letting go of toxic people. I can't wait for you to hear this episode with Tommy on Wellness Force. Before I get there, I want to thank our sponsor, Life Aid. They are creating such amazing products, LifeAid, RX and RX0. So for my fit aid, sugar free zero, this glutamine, glucosamine, turmeric, branch chains, CoQ10 full spectrum B complex. It's becoming my favorite recovery drink after the gym or if I go hiking here in the nature trails. I'm loving this product. I know you're gonna love it too. I've been testing it myself. Because you're part of the show with us. You get 20 bucks off 48 cans of the Zero and the Zero RX. This is the ultimate hookup. 20 bucks off, really generous. If you're already looking for a healthy, nutrient rich beverage after your workouts, give this a go. Give it a test drive. You get 20 bucks off 48 cans of 0 and 0 Rx over at wellnessforce.com 0. That's wellnessforce.com 0. Get the hookup on your 0 and 0 Rx so you can recover properly after your workouts. All right, let's drop in now with Tommy and myself talking about honoring the seasons of our lives, our relationships and our careers. It's not always easy, but Tommy is going to give us so much more clarity about how we can make it easier on ourselves and how we can honor our seasons. This is such a special moment sitting on your floor in lotus position. Dude, we just had an literally incredible weekend.

Wait, are we starting? Did we start?

Oh, we've already been recording. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. People already know who you are. We're gonna link the episode in the show notes where you came on.

Yeah.

So this has been so fun for me to get to know you. To get to know Taylor, to have this breath work, like, how would you describe the way you feel after what we've been through the past three days?

Yeah. The best way to describe it would be just grounded, connected, and appreciative.

Yeah.

It's been amazing experience based on, you know, where I'm at right now in my life and business. Just having this time to disconnect, to reconnect to ourselves and then to others. You know, one of the things that we all need on this journey is a soul tribe. And here's what I was thinking when I was thinking about this conversation. It's like, when you know who you are and you've done some of the inner work and you know where you want to go, finding and attracting your soul tribe becomes so easy. How easy was our connection?

It felt like when I met you and Taylor, I was like, oh, these are my people. I've known them before.

Exactly.

Felt like I knew you and it didn't feel challenging. And I think this art of building friendship, this. The reason why I think friendship is hard for some people to build is because they're not friends with themselves.

Exactly, exactly. And they're also lacking clarity on. On some of that inner work and. And where they want to go. And so, of course, becomes hard to. It becomes more challenging.

Yes.

And if.

You don't have to be that way.

No, it can be so easy, fun. It should be fluid. It should be organic. There shouldn't be any of this tension that. That comes or this awkwardness or whatever that is. And so we need to have a soul tribe. So having you come out here, I mean, it's just been. It's been so cool and refreshing.

You know, what I've been feeling too, is this deep pull to understanding what the divine feminine actually is. Like, what this divine feminine energy actually is. And being taught in breath work with you when with Anahata Ananda, probably like one of the most sought after breathwork people in the world. Yeah. She had this unique energy that she brought to the room, and it was cool because the word that you said in the ceremony was allow.

Yes.

And it was gonna be my word, which was also perfect. But this word allow, like, what does that really mean, man? Like, when you. When you hear the word allow, how would you describe that for you right now in your current existence?

Yeah, I love it. A big part of my. My model and the things that I'm trying to let go of is always looking out there to get or discover or even through really healthy ways of seeking Challenge to get something that I already have. So allowing releases all of that friction, and it's just, okay, let me. Let me. What do I need to let go of to access the thing that I'm actually looking for, even though it's already within? So it's a very.

It's just.

It's a very powerful process. That's why it came up during that breath work. What am I going to allow? Because breath work is. And for anybody on the Academy, listening, you know, we've had anahata now twice. Twice or three times on the show.

Oh, the academy's been treated. Yeah.

Deep, deep sessions. And if you haven't listened to those, go back. But breath work, like any of the practices that we talk about, your resistance is the thing that's gonna hold you back from getting the gift. So for me, even someone who's done that multiple times and a lot of powerful practices, even at that moment, I have to say, okay, I need to allow. And there was a moment during that breath work where I started to get into that uncomfortable place. She had come over and she was. She was kind of holding me and guiding me. And it's a really special experience. But she asked me a simple question. You know, who is. Who is supporting you? Who is supporting you? Tommy? You know, she was saying. She was whispering, you support so many. And wrestling through that resistance and letting go of that allowed me to find my gift.

I think so many people can relate to this. The feeling of not being supported, the feeling of separation. And you and I and Taylor, we talked about this for the past days. Like what happens when we're young. We either deal with that as adults or we don't. Yes, but it's running everything, you know, Carl Jung, until you make the unconscious conscious, it'll rule your life. You'll call it fate. Yes, we'll call this fate if we're not dealing with it. And I think there's something to be said about this healing journey not having to be such a struggle. Yeah. There's going to be moments where it feels like, yes, wait, can we curse on the Academy?

Of course.

Okay.

Okay. All right.

We can curse on wellness for us.

Okay. Awesome.

Because sometimes it feels like I've been in the shit so much that even though my logical mind understands that this. This feels like it'll be forever, my heart knows that it'll be temporary. Like all the darkness, all the things that we go through, it's temporary, man. And it's the constant understanding of the temporary ness that I think gives people the gift of allowing the next thing to unfold.

Yes.

The ability to be in the darkness, be in the storm, and be like, you know what? I know this totally sucks right now, but I also know it's temporary.

That's. And that's. We all need those reminders. Because many times when you are in the middle of that storm, if you don't recognize that, like nature, it's going to pass.

Yeah.

You could start tying your identity to your circumstances. I always tell people your identity is not who you are. You know, we live so much in the past. When I work with people, really, we really. It's a reminder that anything that's happened in the past, anytime you. You screwed up, you didn't feel capable, you did things you weren't proud of, embarrassed, guilt, shame. It's like that's not who you are. And so that temporary allows you to release the identity. It's. It's. I am. It's not. You can't associate the I am with those circumstances or else you can't over. You can transcend those circumstances.

Like, I'm not just Josh the podcaster.

Yeah.

I'm Josh the soul that's connected to everything in Source. You're not just Tommy the author and the speaker. Because if, if I feel like if I ever fall into that where I'm just one thing, then my ego can get bruised. If that thing ever goes away.

Absolutely.

And that can be really challenging for people. I mean, how many people deal with, like, look at what happens to movie stars when they're done being movie stars. They go into deep depression. So I think the big work for all of us is to realize everything's temporary. This concept of Anita, I learned it when I did the 10 day vipassana of just silence, which, by the way, that was one of the most challenging things.

Let's talk about that for a second, please, because I actually mentioned that in my new book, the Leap, because I did the spiritual.

Congrats on the book, by the way.

Thanks so much, man. Appreciate it.

This is your third book.

Yeah.

So exciting.

Yeah, this one was. Was an intense one. But I talk about a spiritual leap, and a spiritual leap is, is when we know that our foundation is. Is, you know, that that spiritual foundation to me is so crucial for the other areas. And I wrote about the vipassana, but I haven't done it. So 10 days, man. I mean, that is a commitment to courage. So think about. For anybody on the Academy listening, this is. And you can explain, but 10 days pure silence, or at least 95% silence. You're waking up super early. You're, you're. The whole time is in this uncomfortable silence. I remember Tim Ferriss talking about it and he was talking about how intense the things that came up were. I mean, deep. And you know, he's been open about him dealing with depression and stuff like that, but these almost like suicidal thoughts, thoughts of just like intensity through that silence, but wrestling with that and coming out on the other side. So what was like.

That's what it felt like. I was in the desert. I was in 29 palms where the, the center is. The Goinka Vipassana Center.

Yeah.

And the by the third day, there was so much anger in my chest. I was so angry that I couldn't eat meat. I couldn't do anything to release sexual tension. I couldn't work out. They didn't allow you to exercise either. Uh, so it was like, it was this space where take away every single distraction you ever use in your life and just be with you and your breath. And that's all you get. Yeah, you just get you and your breath for 10 days. So by the fourth day I was like, this is stupid. I'm gonna leave. And I had all these plans to like leave. And then I'm like, wait, just be patient. Yeah. And I realized like that was the core lesson for me. The anger of being still. What happens when I'm still. Where does that show up in my life? Wow. Like where, where in my life? And I made it. I made it the whole 10 days.

Yeah. Because Quran barrage. He told me people quit. Most people quit either on the second or the sixth day.

Okay. For me it was day four.

Yeah.

Because my body was hurt. Because my body was hurting. And we could only walk in this little outside area.

Your body was hurting from this?

Just sitting?

Yeah.

And I brought my meditation stool so I was like, like we're sitting in, in nice positions now where like our spines are stacked on top of each other. But sitting in this position for a four hour meditation session, brutal on the hips. I mean there's such a focus on. And you can move, you can move a little bit, but there's such a focus on your breathing. And actually in Vipassana they tell you to focus on just this triangle over your nose. And that is where everything comes in and everything goes out. It's this constant focus on just your breath. And that is what really kicked off my breath work. This is like beginning of 2016, this happened. So I've really only been diving into breathwork deep for three years. And the big thing I got from the Vipassana man is where does my anger in my stillness and my lack of patience come up in life? This, this archetype of the petulant child. The petulant child lives in all of us. So when I'm not getting what I want, is my petulant child controlling the divine Josh Trent or is Josh Trent controlling Josh Trent the soul? You know, so absolutely. What's the longest meditation you've ever done?

Man, I don't like in a single session or I've done two to three day retreats where there was heavy on meditation, but nothing, nothing to that extent. And that, that takes next level courage. The reason why that is so powerful is just like you said, it's a complete elimination of all distraction. So what are we left with? Oh, we're left with our, with ourselves, every part of ourselves, with who we actually are. And even, even, you know, healthy distractions. I mean, even having, you know, workout practices and, and things, you know, listen to great information, all of that is serves, but it's also, it can also be a distraction. I mean, how many times have we, you know, have we masked, you know, so it's like spiritual bypassing in a sense, something that we, we felt and we just, you know, I've done it. I remember when I released my second book again, I had this mini winter season when I released it and I was like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go hike. So I want to go hike this beautiful mountain. And it didn't do it for me. And then I went to go floating and that didn't do it for me. And then I went to go journal and that didn't do it for me. And then finally I was like, I got the message, dude, you're supposed to do nothing and actually feel what you're feeling and let it pass through you, but not. And you know, and so it's very important to have that awareness. But that's 10 days, man. You know, that's, that's a different level going into it. You know, where were you? I mean, like, where was your, your heart and mind? And was there any fear of that disconnection? I mean, did you know what you were?

I wanted to go deeper because I knew that in order for Wellness Force to grow that, that the only next step was for me to go deeper within me. Because whenever a human being. So water in our bodies, water encodes all the messages forever. Water has the deepest memory. So if I'm going to speak Every time I speak, water in my body is receiving electrical signals through my voice box. And whatever I'm speaking is going out into the world. So you know, when I'm talking, when you and I are hanging out, or when I'm talking to an audience and we're doing podcasts, if we aren't in alignment, if I'm not in alignment with my truth and I'm speaking something out to existence, the water doesn't lie. Like the sound of my voice doesn't lie. So I knew in 2016 I was like, I get to go deeper within Josh Trent to figure out how I can be the most authentic, the most powerful, the most just real Josh Trent possible. And that's what's going to move people. Because when I'm real in myself, that's what makes other people feel real in themselves. And it's not about me being better, it's about all of us being fucking awesome love together. So that's what I wanted to do with the Vipassana. So that's where my headspace was at, going in there.

That's the epitome of, you know, your personal growth leading to expansion in other areas of life, specifically in your, in your platform and your business and stuff like that. But how much, how many people want, want the growth but they use a market, they're like, I need a marketing strategy instead. Yeah, that's a very, a 10 day.

It's such a 10. It's such a neck up approach.

Yeah.

To life.

Yeah. So like having that awareness of like, you know, I need those 10 days to really grow myself and then everything that I touch after that is going to be significantly impacted as opposed to just seeking the external.

You know what a big piece was too is I was in a relationship at that time and. Or I just gotten out of one actually. And I had learned so much from the divine feminine that I was with. And a lot of the going in came from being with me, being even open to what the divine feminine actually is. And that's why I think this weekend with you and I was so special is I feel like being in this cave. Can we talk about the cave here?

Let's talk about the cave.

We're in the cave of this sacred womb. What was the cave name? I forgot the name of it.

It's a good question.

The crystal birthing cave.

Crystal birthing cave.

All right, so we're in this crystal birthing cave. Anahata lays down this ceremonial mat that she got from Peru 13 years ago with the shaman. She lays down the stones for us that you and I had picked in the. In the breath ceremony. And she just shared with us, like, this is what it's all about. It's about feeling supported. It's about feeling your back on the rock, on mother Earth herself. And how cool is it that you and I are recording this on Mother's Day? Ooh. I just got a chill saying that. I love that because my relationship with my mom being in that cave. You talked about how your parents and your relationship with your mom, we kind of shared over breakfast today. This is all we get, man. We only get one spin in this lifetime here before we go to our next one. So I want to do it the best I can, and I do it from a place of love.

Yeah.

And in that cave, I felt so supported sitting. Sitting in that little. The little gouge. The little. It was almost like a second portal within the cave itself.

Yeah.

What were you feeling?

God, it's so powerful. It's. You know, I just want to set the scene of what that looked like. Like, it was. It was. You know, I remember you turned to me and you said, you know, we're looking out at this, at the red rocks of Sedona, and if you've never been there or seen it, it's. It's majestic, which was the word that you. You came up with.

It was majestic.

I mean, it's eye dropping. When you look at it, you know, we're talking, it's like no camera will ever match the intensity and the vibrancy of that picture coming through our lenses of our eyes. But, yeah, you turned to me and you said, you know, something we had mentioned on a prior podcast, which is, you know, I moved out here from. From New York, and you had no plan. Yeah, yeah. With no plan.

I remember that you.

When you said that, it triggered like, this. This is my. This was and is my dream, something I desired for a very, very long time. So I had to take a moment and step back and just, like, say, I long for this. I long for this. And then I long for having these amazing people, the soul tribe, next to me. Like, this is what I dreamed up. This is what I was longing for deeply. And that's what I was feeling, man. Such a deep level of gratitude and presence. And then, just like you, feeling supported because I'm working through what I call a winter season.

You're in the winter.

Yeah.

And by the time this comes out, people on Wellness Force will know about the medicine wheel. And I'm sure on Academy, you've talked about the medicine wheel.

Yeah.

You and I are both in the winter. Yeah.

I haven't talked about deep enough. That's why I was going to do a whole podcast on the seasons. But now this is going to come out. And so this will. This will be. This will serve that purpose. But for anybody that doesn't know what is the winter.

Yeah. The winter for me is a place where I'm listening to my body and let that just land for a moment, because so many people hear that phrase, especially in the fitness or wellness industry. I'm listening to my body. I'm listening to my body. But are you really. Are you really listening to your body? And that's, for me, been like, traveling the past seven weeks in a row. Like, every single weekend going somewhere. My body feels hot, My body feels inflamed. It's holding onto extra energy that it doesn't need because I've been really challenging my body. So my body is this divine innate intelligence of, you can go hard, you can rest, you can talk to this person. There's always signals coming from my body, but am I actually listening? And listening to my body is a fucking massive skill set to be able to really listen. And this is, for me, like a big one. This concept of I can read a PDF that says, listen to my body. I can go to one float tank and be like, okay, I've applied what I learned so I can gather information, I can apply information. But the embodiment, the most important one, that takes soul union with my body, with my heart. It takes a union of what I'm feeling in my body, what my heart is telling me, and can I balance the demands of the modern world? Because all of us, man, I mean, you're in. You're in phenomenal shape. Fitness is a big background piece for you. You leverage. I was a trainer for 10 years. I think conceptually, we all know that eating healthy foods, moving, exercising, treating our body with love and care, that's great. But when the responsibilities of life. And I don't even have kids yet.

Yeah.

When growing a business or going through hardship or having lots of stress is also present with the needs of my body, that's when it becomes really, really important to tune in, to listen to what's going on. So in this winter season, for me, it's really about clearing my calendar and being vigilant about saying no to anything that comes into my calendar and being powerful. Something with Taylor was talking about getting good at saying no. Doesn't that feel good?

It does.

Just to be good at saying no. And then it leaves room for the magic, which is why you and I are even sitting here.

Absolutely.

We did our podcast on Wellness Force with you, and you're like, you know what? I just left a space. I left a space of 30 minutes or so. I didn't stack interviews. I wasn't in charge mode. I just wanted to leave a space open. And that led to the unfolding of us. You and I having this dynamic breath work with Anahata, and you and I being here on Mother's Day. That's the magic that happens when we are vigilant about saying no.

Yeah. I love that concept. I love that. And leave space for the magic, which is something that I don't always do well because like you said a lot of times, and I have done four or five podcasts. Podcast in a row, and I'm getting to the end of that podcast. And, you know, podcast that they run a little long. Somebody starts late. They started late. And now I'm at the end of that conversation, and I'm. I'm not in that conversation. Why? Because I'm like, somebody's waiting on the.

Other side and it's late for the other one. Yeah.

So it's like you're. We could have a potential magical connection, but because I didn't leave space for the magic, I didn't leave a buffer, I didn't leave a transition, I miss out. And so this can happen in a microcosm with podcasts and scheduling and scheduling your life. It can also happen at a macro. You know, I teach setting a vision and being, tuning into that vision every single day and goals, and reverse engineering that vision and being very disciplined and structured in the pursuit of that. You still gotta leave space for the magic, because where you're going. So I'm speaking to somebody out there where you are going. Your vantage point right now can't imagine what that place is like. Exactly. So we can actually be too rigid with goal setting and vision setting. We're so obsessed with the way that it's gonna look, feel, touch, smell, all that stuff. That alternative path comes in along the way, and that's more magical. But because we had our head down in the trenches, we didn't see it. So it happens at a micro and a macro level. And that's a lesson, again, that I'm constantly learning all the time. And right now, I'm also in, you know, in a winter season. So it's. It's cool to have somebody else in winter because I haven't been in a winter season, like a real winter in, in probably five years. So it's been spring, summer, spring, summer, man. It's sprinkled in a little fall, but always going back to spring and summer. And just for somebody listening, because I haven't formally explained this, we're just talking about the ebbs and flows of nature and how our lives are part of that.

A mirror of nature.

A mirror. Literally a part of it. Yeah.

This is what happens.

We can't escape it.

When the trees let go of the leaves. That's our signal to do the same.

Exactly.

There's clues in nature. Nature's so intelligent.

All these, all these plants are.

When I got here last night, we were by the pool and we were talking about how our, our bodies, our world, our society is really being healed by the plants. Like look what's happening with Organifi and mushrooms and four Sigmatic and all these companies that are selling plants. We're all eating and drinking plants to heal our bodies.

Yes.

Because the industrial agricultural complex has been poison us with food for so long, since birth. I mean, I was raised on welfare, man.

Yeah.

So we're talking like kick cereal and, and Velveeta cheese and just the worst food you could imagine. Like I didn't have fresh produce and vegetables.

Yeah.

And so as an adult, like I've been sensing into this even more with plants and breath work of wow. The plants are actually healing us. They're helping to heal us. Whether it's through nutrition or psychedelic experiences or things like that. I mean, what do you feel about that? What do you feel about plants in your life? Like, what's your relationship to plants?

Well, for me, nature is the fastest access point to the soul. It's like, it's like that broadband connection. It's like I can go right now to nature, to Tom's Thumb or Pinnacle, and my soul has crystal clear clarity. Any problem that I'm going through is released. Any challenge that I'm going through, any emotional deal, that's all that's been a big lesson for me too, that a lot of times we, or for me, I'm like manufacturing spiritual breakthroughs by going to retreats, going to flow tents, sessions, which is great, but they're always available to us. The breakthrough is always available. So for me, nature just opens that up direct path. And we all need to find what that access point for us is. What is the fastest way that we can really just remember who we are, why we're here, get that clear signal and release the noise that gets in the way. And for me, there's nothing like nature being surrounded by plants, being surrounded by life. The other day I was hiking, these massive wild deer were just roaming free, and I was like, man, this is. I'm part of a much bigger system. Yes. And in a microwaved, prepackaged, convenient, you know, do one swipe for sex or groceries world, we can forget about where we actually come from.

Yeah. The delayed gratification versus instant gratification. Yeah. Nature teaches delayed gratification.

Absolutely.

Like, when in nature do you get your food, your sex, and your shelter whenever you want it?

Exactly.

It doesn't happen, man.

No.

So nature is like this powerful teacher. And I've had experiences, too, where I've been in men's groups, and we'll go out together and we'll do, like, the tobacco ceremony where we'll smoke, like, very clean tobacco, you know, not with a bunch of chemicals and crap in it. And just the inhalation of the tobacco from the earth in its raw, organic state, it settles the nervous system. That's just one plant. I mean, there's literally hundreds of plants that can give us healing. But from a nutritional standpoint, have you. Do you have, like, a practice where you take in certain plants to feel like ashwagandha or spirulina or what's. I mean, you guys have probably 500 supplements in your kitchen right next to the pomade.

Well, Taylor's amazing with the supplements, so I defer to her. Anything she takes, if it passes her protocol, I'm all in. Nothing super specific, but a lot of supplementation. We've been on this mushroom kick lately, and, you know, just for me, I already eat super clean because I honor my body, and I know what it. I know what it feels like to feel good. And I'm very strict with my food. But it doesn't come out of discipline or beating myself up. It comes about I want to feel my best as much as I can. Right. So for me to go crush a pizza, it's not really my thing. It's not. Because the desire. If I had the real desire, I would do it. But I know that doing something like that is going to set me off. Not out of guilt or shame, but it's just not going to put me in a thriving state on a cellular level and a higher level. So I go super deep into that. I wanted to talk about the seasons, though. So you're.

That's right. We took a little cold this night. Let's go back to the seasons. Yeah.

Because I wanted to explain this. So, you know, just as a general outline. You know, fall is the season of harvest. Fall is the season of some letting go. Right. The leaves. It's a season of appreciation and gratitude. You know, Thanksgiving, fall. Then obviously we have winter, which was what we talked about. This is the hibernation period. The time when you're really doing that inner work and that reflecting and just. Just huddling in for what's next. And usually a little preparation there. But it's a lot about the inner work. We got spring, which is the creation. Right. You're planting the seeds. It hasn't come to life yet, but it's. It's. It's in the process.

This is the exciting. Yeah. People get stuck in the spring.

Yeah. When I was you, when I write my books, I mean, it's all spring. It's all. I'm seeing this future vision. I'm seeing the book. I'm seeing somebody reading the book. It's all of this creation. And then summer is all the work from spring is now flourishing, blossoming and coming to life. But they each require different energies. Right. And you can't. So it's funny. Cause I've been spring, summer, spring, summer, spring, summer. And I just got out of a book launch. And so usually I would just go right into. You know, I usually just start writing the next book. Even if I don't use that ever. I just go into it. And this time I was tapped out, man. Like, I was like, I don't know what. I don't know. I was saying to myself, like, I don't know if I have anything to say right now. And that was uncomfortable. Because when you got. When you are used to creation and seeing a lot and your voice is kind of shut off, you're like, damn, this, this. And as a lead, as someone who's leading people through high performance and growth and results, you know, and I'm very open with it. Like, although my. My. My ego was like, should you reveal that you're in this winter season? But, like, that's my responsibility. Because if somebody else is in a winter season and they're trying to be forced into spring and summer, how can you force nature to go from winter into spring? But how often do we try to do that?

Yeah.

And it's not. It's not going to work. So you got to honor one is to be very honest. You gotta be very honest. Cause I also have this thing where it's like the spiritual people can talk themselves into being in an endless winter.

Yes.

Hey, Josh, you know, I really wanna start that, but I need to meditate for about six more months. Oh, no, I do wanna do this thing, but, you know, I gotta go find myself for the next couple years. And listen, if that's your truth, let it be your truth, but let's not extend a winter. That's going to. That's really just six months into a decade of trying to find yourself as an avoidance mechanism, having the courage to do the work. And conversely, for the hustlers who are always in spring and summer, which I'm deeply grounded spiritually, but I tend to go into action more. They're going to say things like, oh, you know, that. That's. You're lazy, you're uncommitted. I will. I'll never do that because, you know, I gotta crush it. And that's how you lead to. That's how you get to burnout. But again, you don't leave space for the magic.

I think it's cool. We're sitting next to a Buddha, which is the Buddha sat under the Bodhi tree for so long. Yeah. And people in the spiritual community like to pretend that in a way they're Buddha and just not ever do anything. And I live in a place where it's a spiritual bubble where a lot of people there, they'll. They'll sit and kind of act like their life is a mirror of the Buddha and the Bodhi tree, but they're not ever actually creating something to be of service. And that's a big dichotomy with, I think, going into the spiritual world, it's kind of a slippery slope sometimes, because the more that I've seen even myself go into the spiritual discovery, the more I just want to play there and be there and learn and saturate myself with new things and gather everything. But then I'm never creating anything that really helps people. And I think it's a big takeaway from this weekend. I was so inspired by Anahata. I was so inspired by just her presence and her energy, her ability to be with the still, cultivate her connection with spirit and source and put out things that really help people.

I know.

Like, that is the beautiful balance. And I think she represents this true archetype of the elder. You know, in the Native American tribe, they have the elders.

Yeah.

I mean, this woman is a true elder.

She is.

You know, and. And I like to say that. That all of us that are learning from elders will be elders one day ourselves.

Yeah.

Do you see yourself being an elder of some Sort in training. Are you like an elder in training?

I feel it. I feel it. Absolutely, man. And I also. I also, you know, and I want to encourage anybody out there. It's like, you can. We can be elders to people who are. Have spent less time on the path. Right. With whatever. Whatever the expertise is or whatever the teaching or the wisdom is, there's always somebody that's maybe a step behind you or a few steps behind you that you can be an example to.

Yeah. But you don't have to be a black belt.

No. White belt.

No. You can be a brown bat or a purple.

Exactly. Yeah. And that's sometimes. Sometimes the best learning comes from somebody who's, you know, just right in front of you just a little bit. You know, they don't always have to be on this faraway mountaintop, but I definitely do. And people are always watching. Nothing ever happens in a vacuum. So if you're out there growing and you're investing in yourself, the time, the energy, the resources, taking courageous steps, just remember, it's never in a vacuum. People are noticing, and you're inspiring people, and they may never tell you, or it might be years until they tell you. I just want to encourage people because somebody's always watching. And a lot of times people are inspired from far away and they may never tell us, and we're impacting lives.

I would say most of the time, they don't. I was Paleo fx.

Yeah.

And I had all these people come up to me and I felt so, like. Like kind of cry. Gratitude.

Yeah.

Where it wasn't like an ego feed. Where when they'd come up to me, they'd be like, I've been listening to your show since 2016. I was just like, oh, thank you. You know, like, thank you not. Not for just validating me, but for believing what I believe.

Yeah.

That there's more to life than just cars, alcohol, and distracting ourselves and current events and Kim Kardashian's puppy sweater and just all this bullshit that gets in the way. You know, there's. There's so much more to life than this. And when I meet people like you and when we have these kind of conversations, just us speaking that truth allows other people to believe the same thing because it's in them anyways.

Yes.

I have this sense, this concept of us remembering who we are.

Yeah.

I think that's really the conversation that's happening that people feel the most right now.

Yes.

Remembering who we are.

Yeah.

Do you feel. Do you have that sense of you're Actually, just as you lead through life, you're just remembering how amazing you are, how powerful you are.

Yeah.

How just awesome. Tommy Baker is not from a conceited position, but from just like, oh, this is a blessing that I get to be here and I'm amazing.

Yeah, absolutely. And that's. That's tapping. And it's funny you say that, because at times people say, what do you do? And I'll say, I help people remember who they are. You've said this. I have said that. Yeah.

Mic drop.

Yeah. Well, because. Because we've all. And I will do this with audiences and clients and webinars that I'm teaching. Like, we've all had moments of deep inner power and deep belief and deep joy and curiosity and, like, a childlike wonder about the world. And just like you were saying yesterday or whatever, something happens and we start losing it, and we start reaffirming on the other side of that. And so the process of allowing is actually allowing that to come back up. And how many people do we know that are jaded cynics that have pushed that down, that, you know, stop dreaming, stop being curious, stop asking questions, stop looking up at the stars. And that fire never goes out. You know, that. That inner. It never goes out. It just becomes dimmed. But you can always. You can always get it back.

Yeah. Getting it back is sometimes overwhelming for people.

Yeah.

Because the ego says, well, you don't know how it is. You don't know how my life is. Yeah, we do. We all know how the stresses of life can be transferred person to person. Emotional contagion is real. Like, when we're around people osmotically, these emotions transfer between us just in sitting. Like, when you're in a good mood and you've done work on yourself and I'm around you, I feel that in you. And that reminds me that that's in me too.

Yes.

So it's not that being in a bad mood is wrong. I'm not shaming people and saying, you should never be in a bad mood. Because people that are spiritually bypassers, they get stuck in the spring for a long time, going back to the medicine wheel, and all they want is new. New. New.

Yeah.

So I just have this sense that even having the conversation we're having reminds people that they get to have it too, because they're here with us.

Yeah.

This is the community aspect.

Absolutely.

And I think slowly but surely, man, we're just really building our tribe of truth.

Yes.

That's. This concept came up in our breath work event we had. And it's together we are intelligence being love. And if you go down the center of that, it spells tribe. Think about that, man. Together we are intelligence being love. If you line up the, the letters, that's awesome. And meditation, actually.

Yeah.

And how funny is that? Then when we pulled cards in your living room, I pulled the meditation card.

Yeah.

Which is my signal for winter.

Yeah, absolutely.

Get back to winter, man.

So and yeah, when you, when you go into winter, there's, you know, I know for me a big part of my identity is spring and summer. It's creating, it's doing, it's pushing. And all of that stuff can be healthy until it's not. Right. There's always the law of diminishing returns. So for me, identity wise or for anybody, if you're, if you're going into winter and again, this requires radical honesty with yourself. But if you're going into winter, you know, you got to be prepared for some of the emotional challenges that are going to come with that. Just like the vipassana. I mean it's a huge, that was a huge challenge for you. Yeah.

The waves of challenge.

Yeah, yeah. And it's like, and just so you know, it's not like the work stops in the winter, the inner work actually becomes more intense in the winter, which again leads to some emotional challenges. But just be prepared for that. And again, spring and summer are going to have its own challenges. Creation. Why do a lot of people spend time in winter and don't step into their true power in spring? It's because creation, the idea of birthing something that didn't exist prior to your notion of bringing it to life, that requires a lot of courage because now it's not yours. Now it's out in the world. And when it's out in the world, people can throw stones at it. You can impact people, but people can throw stones at it and they can look at it and they can make assumptions on you. That holds a lot of people back. So when you're in spring and summer, like I was saying this other day, go all in on those seasons. That's your time to literally light it on fire and to speak your truth and put out, put out stuff that makes that you have resistance on, but deep down that you know is your truth.

Like put that out and be prepared for people to throw heavy ass stones.

Yeah.

Because there is this duality of the ego where one side of it's like, okay, well I, I really want to do what they're doing because I see Them expressing their truest self. I want to express my true self too, but I'm not ready for that yet. I haven't built up the courage to express myself in that way yet. All right. I'm just going to, like, write a shitty comment on their YouTube.

Totally.

It's a way for them to feel like they have control.

Great band aid.

Someone else.

Yeah, it's an amazing band aid, so be prepared.

Like, if you have a dream, the bigger your dream, then the bigger the challenges. And it's not just like some personal development meme. It's real. I feel it all the time. Actually, when I get negative comments, it makes me feel like I'm on the right path. Because then I'm like, okay, they're. They're impacting me, or I'm impacting them so much that they are willing to throw venom at me.

Yeah.

So I brought that venom out of them. So in a way, I'm like, good. Yeah, good.

Well, think about how much energy that takes. You gotta. You gotta look at somebody's thing. You gotta internally take it through your own emotional deal, then you gotta take action on it. And before that action, you're like, should I really do this? Should I not do this? You're thinking about it. I mean, all of the energy. And then you're gonna post it and then you're gonna come back later. Because nobody just posts and disappears.

They want to come back and get more feeding.

So I love that. And I had a real scathing comment. Comment, you know, maybe like three months ago, like, intense. Like this 750 word essay and somebody.

Wrote 750 words of venom.

Yeah, yeah. And the core thesis was the world. The world is worse off with people like you in it. That was the core thesis.

What the fuck?

Yeah, yeah, it was intense. And they. They put it on. They put on Amazon and then they put it on a blog. Amazon deleted it because it was very, like, hate speech kind of direction. But. But here's. Here's the lesson though. Like, two years ago for sure, that would have rocked me. Yeah. Because I didn't. I didn't have the same grounded truth of who I am, what I'm here for, what is my mission. All of that stuff. And then this one just. Just melted off me. I mean, obviously when I was in it, you know, my podcast studio. And like, I could feel the fight or flight heartbeat starts coming up. My guy's talking to me. I have no idea what he's saying. I'm like, I'm ready. I'm like, let's go. And then as fast as it came, as fast as it, it went out. And then there's a dual process with that is can we drop our ego enough to read it and say, is there anything in here that is valuable right now? This one was like really hate speech and stuff like that. But even just small feedback and stuff. And can we drop our ego a little bit more and say, can we show some empathy where we have had similar reactions, you know, to be in that mindset to see somebody else doing something and us throwing stones at them. And so yeah, you can't get, you can't get the, you can't get this, you know, without the external challenges.

How many examples of this are true in everyday life where there'll be a family structure that's really tight. And I see this a lot in Italian cultures, like I came from Sicilian culture, like being at my grandparents house and like ravioli and 50 people screaming at each other. And that was like love in those spaces and maybe even in the Colombian culture. I don't know much about the Colombian culture too.

Very, very similar family, very tight, very.

Like, don't go outside the bubble. Don't think differently than us.

Yeah.

Anytime you do, you'll be challenged.

Yeah.

Still to this day, my mom and dad both don't really know exactly what I do.

Yeah.

And it's been four years of podcasting, so. So I have this piggyback on what you said where you know there's going to be stones that are thrown and when they're thrown, when somebody writes 750 words of hatred, can we take a massive deep breath from our belly and just think about what kind of pain that person is really in.

Yeah.

We're not better than them or not holier thou than them. It's not about my ego being fed and spiritually bypassing their comment. It's about truly connecting with the deepest pain that person has. Yeah. And it's the same damn thing when I'm on the freeway and somebody yells at me or flips me off or like cuts me off. Like how, how upset are they? How disconnected are they from the real bubbling anger, you know, that they're not somatically experiencing what their body's telling them. And it's cool because in our conversation, like everything's connecting to each other. Like we're in winter, I'm listening to my body that allows me to be less judgmental of others, less angry. And that's where like the love comes from. So we're really just we're really just bringing these people back to love. But in order for us to do that, we get to be resilient.

Yeah.

Because if we're not resilient and we fall prey of like, well, fuck you. How could you write that about me? You don't know what it's like to be a creator. Then you're just feeding that person's ego.

Yeah.

And then nothing happens. No one heals.

No one heals.

And that's the work, man.

Yeah.

And I think that's the hardest part sometimes.

Yeah. And I think it's, you know, on your path of growth and discovering who you are and creation, you know, you're going to have multiple times where you're gonna question your path. And I never see that as a bad thing. Question your path is very healthy if you're on track and if you're off track. Cause if you're off track, it's very obvious. Questioning your path hopefully leads to some insights and some breakthroughs that are gonna put you back on track. But even if you're on track, even if you're committed to your mission, when you question it, you have the opportunity to gain new insights, gain new perspective, but also reaffirm your commitment. And so a lot of times, clients will be like, you know, tommy, I'm questioning my path. I don't know what I'm doing. And I'll say that's. That's exactly where we need to be. Like, if. If. If we're. If we're pushing ourselves and we're thinking bigger and bolder, why, sure hope you're questioning your path. And then we can take two roads. We can, you know, if it's the right path, deep down, we double down on our path after that. The questioning actually allows an invitation for a more solidified purpose. And if it's the wrong path, then. Then, you know, then that's going to manifest itself.

Yeah.

But I think it's easy to think of growth as this linear process. Creation is this linear process. And to get very lost in circumstantial plateaus or circumstantial darkness or circumstantial tunnels that are just. Can sometimes are the breakdown before the breakthrough.

Yeah.

And that's where perspective comes in. That's where having a soul tribe, that's. We're having being in environments that lift you up, you know, that's why I came out here to Arizona, to be in environments that allowed me to remember the truth. Right. And then. And stay steadfast on where I'm going.

And this might be challenging for someone who's like, well, I live in a concrete jungle and I can't get to nature and all these things. Yeah, you can.

I know.

You just get to let go of where you live and move somewhere else. And, yeah, there's always a cost to benefit ratio, emotionally, financially, but if. If someone wants to make a change, they always can. It's just what belief. What literally, what undercurrent belief is blocking the thought? The thought is just a thought, man. I mean, yeah, thoughts come and go for me all day. I still have thoughts that float by like a leaf that say, are you really good enough for that? It'll be like a whisper that comes up in the dark.

Yeah.

And it'll come when I least want it to come, like right before I'm about to go on a stage or something. It'll be like, you good enough for that?

Yeah, like, God damn it.

So. But I. But I realized that peace is coming up to test my resolve to the love that I have for myself. And that's what it's all about.

You need that. We want that. And then on the other side, if you're willing to stand in your power during that storm or that small whisper or whatever it is, there's always a gift on the other side. But running away from that or avoiding that or numbing that or distracting that, or saying, yeah, it doesn't happen to me. I mean, that's.

What do you feel like is the biggest distraction for, let's say, Americans? I have one, but I'm curious what you feel. What do you think is, like, the biggest distraction for people right now? When you say distraction, is that distraction from the process? We're talking about self love, understanding who we are sitting with, our uncomfortableness.

Yeah, man, I would say that's tough, man. I would say it's. I would say it's vicariously living through others. So I just have this. This kind of theory and model of. It's called the pain of untapped potential. So we all know we have greatness inside. We've all felt greatness inside. But when we're not expressing it, then we seek others who are expressing it. And that tends to happen with politicians, sports stars, movie stars, even entrepreneurs. So we can vicariously live through them, live through their dreams. And that's how we become very addicted to things like television and sports and fantasy football and all of this stuff. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, but. So we went to a Cardinals game for my birthday, Arizona Cardinals football. There were so much so I was watching the men. I don't even know if I told you about that.

I love that you're at a sporting event and you're, like, looking to see what kind of emotional signals you can process. That's perfect.

That's when you know you're.

That's when you know that someone doing work is at a football game.

The rabbit hole. Yeah. But no, I was just looking, man. Because, you know, these men, they were 30, 40, 50, and they had these costumes on, you know, supporting the team, and I mean, elaborate shit, dude. I mean, these Big Bird things and I mean, that took hours to create. And listen, again, if it's. If it could be totally in alignment, but. And then watching them on the field as stuff happened, the level of emotion that was coming out.

Yeah.

And I've been there. I've been the fan with that emotion was so intense. And it led me to just ask a question. Where's that emotion coming from? And are they finding powerful conducive outlets in their own life to express that emotion? And I know when I've been that person, that was the highest. You know, to the degree that I was doing that, I was most off purpose, most off track, most disconnected with myself. And so that's how I would answer your question. Like this constant need to have the stimulus and live vicariously through others, but that ultimately leaves us depleted.

It's a really good one to follow there. I have a sense that there is this. And I've heard many interviewers. One of the guys that I love the most, and he's been. He's. I think he's done 50,000 interviews. Damn, I'm blanking on his name right now. He has the suspenders. Who am I?

Larry King.

Larry King. Thank you. And so Larry King said once, it's the curiosity that really drives human life. It's the curiosity for why and what and how and just the wonderment of the universe.

Yeah.

And so I think when I look at the biggest distraction, it's literally anything that pulls people away from their curiosity. So I think it's a threefold fractal of what's disconnecting people from their curiosity. I think it's number one. Absolutely. Social media. Number one.

Yeah.

So I would say that maybe the. The full answer is social media. But then. And along right alongside that is people allowing their friends and their groups to think for them, which is also stacked upon what you talked about, where there's vicarious living.

Yeah.

And then I think the third one is people ignoring what they're feeling. And look, a thing will come up and they'll push it down, like, emotionally distracting themselves from what's really going on. So I think it's a threefold. I think it's a combo of those three. And the big one really is just having a healthy habit around consuming social media and consuming other people's thoughts too, you know, and trusting my guidance system to say, I'm hanging out with these friends. They're doing a lot of things that I know really aren't feeding my most full potential self. Do I have the courage to leave?

Yeah.

Do I have the courage to be like, I love you guys, I got to take off? Literally then.

Yeah.

Then there's a tribe element where we have this empathetic wiring in our brains. And Jason Silva talked about this on Brain Games, the best episodes. We're going to put this episode in the show notes, because this episode he talked about how literally the Axon and the Dendrites were wired for empathetic connection. So when I'm in a social group and there's something going on that I don't like and I know is not feeding my truest self, it's so hard. We've all felt this. It's so hard to leave. It's so hard to, like, move on, even though we know that for ourselves it's the most powerful thing to do. And so he talks about this empathetic wiring where we live in an interesting time. Because, you know, 200, 300, 400 years ago, if you and I were to have a different thought than our tribe, we potentially could not mate.

Yeah.

We would not be a notable suitor. We were going against the grain. Having your own thought process and your own soul expression in 1700 was not exactly the best thing. That was not a good idea because there was a monarchy. And if you went against the monarchy, which there's monarchies now too, you know, look at what's going on with the Mormon Church and even with, like a bunch of religious organizations that literally control how people eat, think, feel and live. That is scary because if people allow themselves to go into that, then they're just literally following dogmatic styles of being alive. And that's not serving anyone. That's not producing more love. It's not producing more connection. I think that's the long winded answer to the question of what's really distracting us. It's our ability to respect our biology, but also transcend it. Can I transcend my biology with the empathetic wiring to do what the tribe wanted to do and do what I want to do, what I want to do. Because that's what's going to make me breathe and feel like who I am and.

And it can be. That's really hard. It's almost addictive to stay in that.

Yes.

Like, for the person that starts to separate away from that, like, early on, they start to separate and the pain is so high, it's almost like a slingshot. And it starts going back and back and back and back. And if you last long enough, it's going to break and you're going to go to the other side. Most people are going to revert right back because they miss what it feels like to be part of that tribe.

I love that analogy.

Yeah. Even if that tribe is full of misery, even if that tribe. We constantly can say, hey, these people are holding me back, but it feels good to be in that state because of that empathetic connection that you're talking about. But again, going back to moving cross country or whatever it is, it's still a belief system. And one of the greatest things that I did on my journey was to spend a lot of time by myself. Just spend a lot of time in solitude. And one of the most intense years of solitude that I had, I was actually in the world's biggest city. So surrounded by so many people. But consciously New York, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Constantly choosing solitude because I want to know, like, who. Who am I? Just by myself, like, if we can't. If we can't do that. So for always filling space, that's what people will say, you know, if I leave this tribe, then who am I? Who am I going to have? And that's the answer is hopefully just yourself for a little bit.

Yeah.

Like, take that journey within. Let's stop the stimulus. Like, spend the time with yourself. Go have a meal by yourself. Go watch a movie by yourself. Go.

That brings up fear for people.

It does.

What do you mean? I'm gonna go watch a movie by myself, take myself to dinner. Like, yeah, date yourself. Date yourself. You're worthy.

Have the best damn date with yourself. Like, it should be that. That should be the standard for your. For ourselves. And, you know, I remember going to movies by myself and it's like, you know, you walk in, you're kind of like, I kind of want to walk in at the last second because I don't want anyone to see that. I'm like, it's just me. Right? And then it's like, wow, can we just let that go? What if you could be with yourself and. And be fully with yourself. And so I think that that is so crucial when you're separating yourself from a tribe to not just. It's important to go start planting seeds to find a new tribe, but let's make sure that you're. You're also feeling connected with yourself. So when you go to that tribe, you show up as someone who's. Who's whole, and it's like, it's not. You're not getting something externally to fill a part of yourself up. I can be alone. I can be. I can be by myself. I think one of the reasons that we have a powerful relationship with Taylor is that, like, we are two whole individuals, as is. Right. It's not like there's no, like, it's not like this neediness of, like, she has. She's gonna fill me, and I'm gonna fill her. It's like we're whole, concrete. We've done the work on ourselves. We stand powerfully as individual pillars, and then when combined, that's when the real power happens.

Yeah. And there's nuances in these relationships because the. The bond between you two is probably so intoxicating, so powerful, that you may just want to, like, lay around and just hold each other all day, but that's not evolving for each self. That's not actually going to serve each self. So I'm curious for you too. Like, how do you manage that? Like, people that are in relationships, the intoxicating pull of spending so much time with a partner that they're never spending time with themselves. Like, what are the clear boundaries in your relationship where you both have your time and you have together time.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's so important. I think it's so important to have both. We have pretty structured date nights where it's like, on these days, they're, like, in the calendar. Yeah. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays are, like. Are protected date nights. Doesn't mean we're not hanging out on the other nights, but those are more individual time. And I think. I think we do a really good job of, like, what do you need? What do I need? You know, if, you know, I'm. I'm needing some time alone, I'll be. And I'm like, should I go float? Should I not go float? She'll say, like, go float. Right. Or she needs to do something. I'll support that 100%. Because at the end of the day, it starts with the individual. And just like you said earlier, when you're around somebody's energy. And let's say I've been running 100 miles an hour and I've been giving, giving, giving, giving, and I haven't replenished. And then I come in, and then with us, she's going to feel that, and I'm in this disconnected state. And really what I need in that time, it's to go in nature, to go flow, to go do that practice. So it takes a lot of diligence, awareness to insert that because it's very easy to say, no, I'll be fine, I'll be good. And it's like, no, we need that me time. And so I love the date yourself thing because I'll put on my calendar. So my calendar from 3:30 to 5 is called Afternoon White Space. And it's just. It's Afternoon White Space. Nothing, no podcast can go in there. No creative work is going to go in there. Even during book launch, I was very diligent with that because that's my time to regenerate. And Afternoon White Space could look like a hike. It could look like going to Guitar center and playing guitars. It could look like journaling.

It could look like laying out on your deck naked, doing a sun bath in your private gazebo in the back.

Yeah, yeah. And it's important because, you know, even in powerful relationships, you can lose. You can lose that connection with yourself and the lines start to become blurred. And then that's. How can you forget who was I before the relationship? Right. Because I'm still that person, but now I'm in union, which makes it more powerful, but still got to feed that individual.

There's a concept that was brought to me, and I've heard it from many people, but I was talking with someone on the show and he said, you know, the same eyes. It was Udo Erasmus, the founder of Udo's Oil. And he said, the same eyes that you looked out of when you were 2 years old in a park playing. It's the exact same eyes that you're looking at of now. So I think it can be really easy for people in relationships to feel like the eyes they're looking out of is different because they're bonded with this other person and then they're in this sacred union, but it's still us, it's still you, it's still me. And this is, like, real for me in this moment, too, where I'm excited for who gets to have kids with me, who gets to be with me. Like, I'm. I feel the excitement of it, but it's the only time in my life since I've been single where it hasn't come from a place of wanting or needing something from another. Yeah. And it's a testament to the work that I've been doing, the breathing and the plants and even coming out here this weekend. Like met up with a wonderful lady this weekend.

Yeah.

And it felt super fun and free and light and I was just me the whole time. And that's what we're all wanting is just to be our damn selves. And that's where the divine feminine feels the most trust anyways, is when the masculine is just being themselves.

Yeah.

Like what about you attracted Taylor to you and what do you think she felt from you? Because at that point you hadn't done as much work that you've done now.

Yeah.

But there was something about you. There was something about you that, that created trust in, in the feminine at that point. What do you think that was now?

We could ask her. Communication. Yeah, I, I think, you know, that at least, at least from my perspective, you know, we had both made some tough decisions. You know, she had left, you know, structures of her life, environment and relationship and just parts of her life and I had done the same. And through that metamorphosis that required a lot of inner work on both sides. So I feel like our union was like we, we had a deep resonance because of that. Just like the way that we. What had happened on a very similar timeline, like the prior 18 months or two years before we had met was quite similar in terms of letting stuff go. For me personally it was, you know, letting go of business, letting go of the place of the country that I lived, letting go of relationships, I mean, letting go of a lot. And through that, doing a lot of inner work. And I think when we just, when we had that moment of you know, being. Yeah, just, just that resonance, that deeper resonance. And again, early on, like I was telling you at dinner the other day, it felt very organic and there wasn't this, there wasn't any, it wasn't contrived. No, there wasn't that.

You didn't wait to text her.

Yeah.

It wasn't all this bullshit.

Yeah.

That people practice from like college years.

I wanted that really badly and I. But whenever I would like not do that, it would have negative consequences based on old models, if that makes sense. Yeah, I didn't want to, I didn't want to play these games and I've always been a very feel person, very heart led person. But through a lot of experiences I Began to close that up because, like, if I show my heart too soon, it doesn't work out well. Right. But I had to let all of that go. And so when we came together, it felt so organic and like, I could just be myself, just like you were describing, and not have this. Especially in a social media digital age. I mean, I can't imagine the stuff that goes on now in terms of playing games and going back and forth and just all of that stuff. I mean, that's very toxic.

So single people listening know. It's exhausting. It's exhausting. You know it is.

Yeah.

You know it's exhausting. Well, you don't have to play. You can choose not to play out.

Well, when you don't play, you opt out. And then you. You play with those that are not playing, they're playing a different game. And those. That's where the resonance comes in.

Yeah.

It's like, I'm not gonna put up fronts or bullshit just to play the psychological game of want and need and back and forth. It's like, dude, just. Just. Can you just. Can you stand? But it requires that inner work because those old models are so easy to fall into.

The old model. This has been like, such a rich conversation with you, man. I love that you had me in your home. Thank you for having me in your home.

You are welcome.

We're doing. I've never done a podcast. Like, next to a Buddha statue on the floor next to a bulletproof mat. You live in, like, this healthy dome. I want to challenge you on the podcast.

Yeah.

I want to challenge you to do an event at your home. Like an in person event. Because I just.

I feel that you planted the seed last night.

Yeah. And. And I never.

We never. That's the power of. Of associating yourself with people with expanding perspectives. We never really. That never came up.

And for me, we just did. Two months ago, we had a 50 people in a breathwork event, and I realized, like, oh, well, this is actually why we're doing shows in the first place, is because we connect with people through a digital medium. And then eventually, like, all roads lead to people coming together physically.

Yeah.

Doesn't have to be all the time, but enough so that we remind each other who the hell we are.

Yeah.

And I think that's what I wanted to challenge you on. So I'll come to your event and I'll bring some people from Wellness Force.

Love it.

Love it. Okay, man. We explored a lot.

Yeah.

And I love. I love that we did this. I have A lot of gratitude for you and for Taylor, you know, letting me be in your space and. And making everything happen with Anahata, you know, just the magic man. It's felt like it's been this kind of slow, bubbling marinade of magic where just having that little half an hour with you, we finished a podcast, it led to everything else. And I just want to drop wisdom to. To Wellness Force and to the Academy right now. Leave some space for magic. Yeah, leave that space for magic.

Like, if you don't. If you don't. The great tragedy is that if you don't, you know, if we didn't leave that space for us, we wouldn't be here right now, but we wouldn't know. And that's a tragedy to me. It's a deep. It's a hollow feeling, because while you don't have the awareness, it's. We're here right now, and part of us obviously now has the awareness. But if you don't leave space for the magic, that's a big loss. So leave space for the magic in your days. Delete some shit. Delete some shit. You don't need to binge watch Netflix again. You don't. The average American watches 35 hours and 25 minutes of TV a week. That's a lot of magic that's being given away.

35 hours a week seems pretty high. It is. Really?

Yeah.

I can't even fathom.

Yeah.

Wow.

Now, that includes background stuff and stuff like that.

Oh, okay.

But still.

Yeah, it's still on.

Yeah. And if it's not TV now, it's social media. But can we leave some space in the magic of our days? Can we leave some space in the magic of our weeks? Can we leave some space in the magic of our months? That's where. That's where this type of stuff is going to happen.

Yeah. I always tend to close my conversations with a question, and it's at the intersection of the physical, the emotional.

Yeah.

But with you, it's like physical, emotional, spiritual. We're in, like, a little cul de sac there. Yeah.

I got a question for you, too.

So I love that. That's even better.

Yeah.

So. So for you, Tommy Baker, it's this question of wellness. You know, the true definition of it. I mean, you answered it around 30 shows ago. 30 episodes ago. But you've done some work since then.

Yeah.

You know, a lot, actually. Now you're in the winter. What's wellness for you in this moment, in this current moment? How do you define that?

Yeah, to me, Wellness is. Is the integration of mind, body and spirit. And tending. Tending the gardens of all three of those to work synergistically for a greater good, so they'll never be separate. And if you do it right, they feed into one another in the most powerful of ways.

I love the analogy of the garden.

Yeah.

That's all we're doing.

We have. We have these amazing plants outside.

We're sitting next, teaching us. We're sitting three feet from a cactus that grows. That grows sweet nectar apples.

Yeah. And some other amazing, amazing stuff. Awesome, man. So my question for you. And we could have gone. We could have gone much longer. And we'll. We'll definitely have you back for a dedicated.

We're going round three.

Yeah, yeah. I'll have you back for a dedicated Academy session. To resist average, man.

What does it mean to you to resist the average? Well, I think what we resist persists. So of course I'm going to persist, risk resisting average, because I think average is a. I think average is a disease that can creep in if we're not conscious of our resistance to it.

Yeah.

And if I were to define the concept of resisting the average, it's really a. An awareness of the plague that's so easy for all of us to get sick by, and that is that we're not powerful, we're not loving, we're not connected, we're separate. It's the opposite of all those. We're one. We're connected. You're my brother, you're my sister. Like, we're all here kind of learning as we go along. That's resisting average, the learning, the discovery process of the physical, the emotional. This is why our tribes can easily connect, is because we're all doing the same thing. We're all discovering how to resist the average by knowing who we are, knowing what our physical and emotional intelligence is telling us. So I love you, bro. Thank you for having me right back to you on the show.

Thanks so much, brother.

We'll talk to you soon. Where can people learn more about you?

Resistavgademy.com and resist average Academy podcasts and yours.

Mine is Wellness Force. You can go to Wellness Force Radio, hear Tommy a second time. Listen to the first episode. If you haven't heard Tommy on Wellness Force, like, that's a rad episode. That's one of my best episodes because you. You were in a studio and we just had the vibe.

Yeah.

And there was something special about that. So Wellness Force is the podcast, and we'll talk to you soon.

Your podcast you're so consistent, man. As a creator, I know what, what it takes and you're, you're incredible at.

That and this was really special. So thanks for having me on the academy as well. And shout out to the academy. You guys are doing amazing work and wellness force in the academy. Like, we're in the same thread together, so same tribe. We're enjoying the process. Yeah. All right. Peace. Hey, my friend, thank you for hanging out and growing with me today. Everything you learned on this podcast starts with your morning practices. So from over 200 world class guests and counting, we've distilled the gems, the best of the best science backed practices down into a 21 minute morning system guaranteed to increase the positive flow in your day. Get this free and powerful 21 minute life changing system over@wellnessforce.com M21 if you enjoyed this episode, tap your phone, share it with someone you care about. Because that is how we all get better together. Supporting the show is easy. Leave us a five star review right now from your phone. It helps us reach other smart and conscious people like you. Either tap your phone and hit the link in purple that says review this podcast or go to wellnessforce.com review. And this show doesn't stop here. We're continuing the discovering process in our private Facebook group. You can be a part of it. All you have to do is go to wellnessforce.com group and I'll welcome you at the door. Okay. Now you get to go out into your world and live your life well. So until I see you again real soon, I'm wishing you love and wellness.