314 Troy Casey: The Emotionally Intelligent Cowboy | Breathwork & Plant Medicine

You know, they see the primal animal. They see the. The wild man inside of me, and I think. I know every single person has the wild animal inside of them, and they want to let it out. And sometimes you go out of balance. And I think the pendulum swings both ways, right? So if you got absolute wellness and absolute debauchery on the other end, you might want to keep it balanced, because if the pendulum's pegged on the other level, the potential for it to go to complete debauchery is there, right? So as much as we can walk the razor's edge, hey, look, I live in the city. We got 5G. We've got industrial waste. We've got 10 million cars on the road, and you can see the fine line of smog out there on the. On the horizon. So, you know, we're. We have to deal with elements in our society and still be able to, you know, move forward. So walk the razor's edge and do the best you can.

That's Troy Casey, the certified health nut. And this is episode 314 of Wellness Force Radio. Wellness Force Radio, where we discover the physical and emotional intelligence to live life well. You can have the same brain states as someone who's done an hour of meditation every day for 40 years.

There's a lot of losses that we.

Go through, so the ability to be.

Able to cope with those losses is very important to build skill in it, because loss will happen. You know, you have to have spiritual courage, to really grow spiritually, because if you really want to take guidance from your soul, you have to be ready to realize that many of the things that you're asking for guidance on, your ego has some kind of an addiction.

To or an investment in what's going on, my friend. It's Josh Trent. You made it to Wellness Force. And today we're talking with Troy Casey, the certified health nut, the breathwork master, the emotionally intelligent cowboy. You're going to find out exactly why I call him this in this episode. This is an hour and a half plus of absolute rich gold. We're gonna talk about plant medicine and breath work and Troy Casey's story. Working through anger issues as a man. What it means to be a man in the modern world. How Troy got remarried at Rythmia at the end of a plant medicine week. Such a touching story. There's multiple times during this podcast where I felt like I was gonna cry. Troy had tears in his eyes. This is a great one. I'm really proud for you to hear this. This is an incredible podcast coming up. This episode is brought to you by Cured Full spectrum Hemp. And by the way, it's organ in Colorado, right here in the beautiful usa. This full spectrum hemp with a wide variety of terpenes and all the parts of the plant, the hemp plant that give us digestion, joint, brain, muscle tissue support, the relaxation and the good sleep that we deserve. Especially after a stressful day. This is what Cured Nutrition delivers. There's a lot of talk, by the way, in the hemp industry, the CBD industry, what's the best product? When I did the research and I looked at the reports and, and I saw how quality that this company really was, I pulled the trigger. I knew exactly who we were going to partner with. Cured Nutrition, we're bringing you the best of the best in the entire CBD and hemp market. This is a simple, clean ingredient. No preservatives. Just locally sourced, organically farmed full spectrum hemp. The kind of product I'd be happy to give to my grandma if she was still here. And I'm happy to give to my mom. I know you'll like it too. And because you're here with us in the Wellness Force family, you get 15% off. Just go to wellnessforce.com cured c u r E D Use the code wellnessforce at checkout. Get 15% off your order. Over@wellnessforce.com cured if you've been looking for a CBD product, a hemp product that you can trust that's organically sourced, this is your go to wellnessforce.com cured use that code wellnessforce to get 15% off so you can save some money and spend it on other beautiful things that make you feel good. All right, Troy Casey. If you've seen Troy Casey on social media, then you already know this is one of the most outspoken wellness leader on the planet. Troy does not disappoint. In this episode. We got to record this live in Malibu at a house overlooking the ocean. What an incredible conversation. I love this man. I love Troy Casey. I love what he stands for in our wellness world. I love his heart. I love his commitment to taking care of himself and preaching self love and what that really means. The embodiment of self love to his followers on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube. It's a funny story, actually. I've known Troy Casey for 10 years, but we actually just met this year. We met in April at the Bulletproof conference. He was on a vibe plate and he gave me Hoppe tobacco and then we talked about organic foods. True story. That's how Troy Casey and I actually met in person. But I've been seeing his trajectory and his growth and this is what you're going to get from this podcast. By the way. It's so easy and it means so much for you to leave a five star review. Can you hook it up for us? Can you leave us a five star review? I ask you this because we have so many people that write into the show and this show is reaching people across the world. It's honestly a dream come true and I would love your support to be able to have this show reach even more people. The only way that's gonna happen is if you speak your truth. You can do it@wellnessforce.com review. You can also just go over to itunes and type in your thoughts on a five star review. Share this podcast with somebody that you think gets to hear this message. Somebody that can become more physically and emotionally intelligent, just like we have on today's show. You're going to get a look into the life of a holistic nutritionist, an entrepreneur, a father, an influencer, a man who had an incredibly challenging upbringing, going on to be a Versace model and then going into the Amazon, diving into plant medicine way before plant medicine was mainstream, to then working on building his brand, this certified health nut, this mission, this movement, what he's doing with organic superfoods and everything else under the sun. We did not leave one stone unturned in this podcast. Let's dive in right now. No more waiting. The one, the only, Mr. Troy Casey. Troy Casey, you are a force of wellness, a legit force of wellness. And I, and I say that because, gosh, man, 10 years ago, I think is when I learned about you and I saw you certified health nut in the house, man. Thank you so much, brother, for coming on the show.

Thanks for having me, man.

You've been through quite the journey. Yeah, you went to rythmia. We're going to talk about this re engagement of the soul that you had. It gives me chills just to talk to you about it. We're here in Malibu. We're overlooking the ocean. It's a beautiful day, man. Just, just want to start this conversation with gratitude for you and just how openly you share on social media about your life and just everything that you've been through. And what is certified health Nut, man, for people that don't know about you, they've never seen the bearded wellness cowboy. What is certified health nut? What is that brand?

Yeah. Well, first of all, let me just express gratitude as well I'm grateful for you having me on the show and I'm grateful to be on this planet right now. Certified Health Nut was an idea, was a vision that I had in the Amazon in 2006. I'd been in front of the camera for about 20 something years at that time, almost 20 years. I had been studying natural medicine since I was in front of the camera. I do believe I have like methylation pathway issues. I don't know what it is because I've never really been tested, but I just figured, you know, I had constipation, I had indigestion. So I got into nutrition 30 years ago as a Versace model. And then it was an amalgamation of my on camera career. I was doing standup comedy.

No, yeah, you're a Versace model that did stand up comedy.

Well, eventually, yeah.

This is why I love podcasting, because I would never, we would never get to that, you know, if we didn't do this. So continue, please.

So at the time I was doing a lot of standup and I studied improv and I'm a trained actor. So I moved to LA to change my career as an actor. And then I started working with an herbal company in the Amazon. I was in Amazon drinking ayahuasca with the Shipipo Indians and I had this vision. I had three very profound visions and one of them was of Certified Health Nut. It was an amalgamation of my on camera career, my natural medicine studies and my standup. And Certified Health Nut was born right in the middle of the Amazon.

I remember seeing you on YouTube, no beard, like fully shaved. It's been the ultimate thresholds breached for you. It's so funny. I met you this year for the first time, but I'd known about you for 10 years and you're like, I'm kind of a cowboy, Josh. And from that moment on I was like, troy is the wellness cowboy. The certified Health net is the wellness Cowboy. And it's so funny because in our world right now, the perfect metaphor for being is an emotionally intelligent cowboy. This is what women want. This is what the world needs. A good man with an edge. You do a lot of work in men's work. A lot.

And I want to say this. My mentor in the Amazon was this gringo shaman named Scott Peterson. He was a funny fucker and he was just so intelligent and had a lot of information. And what he told me, he worked in South America a lot and then stayed in the Southwest, so New Mexico and Arizona, and worked inside the healing community at the same Time he did rodeos and would hang out with cowboys. This is what he told me. He also was a ski instructor, so he was. He was well rounded. He said, in the healing community, everybody's always fucking sick, but the cowboys would snort coke and drink Jack Daniels and never have a fucking problem. And so he was like, there's got to be some kind of in between where you can be tough as fucking nails and have all your natural medicine protocols. And so I think there's a balance. There's not. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Keep your nuts in place. And also activate the divine feminine that's inside of you and balance yourself out.

You know, I remember that movie City Slickers. Remember Curly from City Slickers? He ate bacon every day. And he had like the most unhealthy lifestyle, but yet he was the most grounded, the most happy. And when he died, everybody was like, wow, what an amazing man.

Yeah.

From that movie, I think there is this metaphor of the cowboy that, that you embody, but that was not always the case. Like, I did not see you as a cowboy 10 years ago. You've kind of morphed into this.

Yeah, I think I was trying to fit in. Right. And I cut that shit the fuck out. Right. So, you know, as a Versace model, you know, they want you to look clean and good and, you know, I had the same haircut for almost 20 years of my career. And so, you know, really short buzz cut and classic looking. And I don't think it was an abject trying to fit in. I think it was just by osmosis. Right. And so, and what happened when I went through my divorce is I stopped giving a fuck and I let my hair grow out. And actually that was really, I think, not giving a fuck. And letting my hair grow out was kind of a growth action in, you know, it was. It was a progression of things that happened. I care deeply. Let's. Let's get clear on this.

I was just thinking that Troy gives a big fuck.

Yeah, I care deeply about this planet, about our species, about the evolution of consciousness. But I don't give a fuck what people, people think of me because the peanut gallery and the armchair quarterbacks are everywhere. I know this from working on YouTube, you know, and there's plenty of accounts that are ghost accounts that are just, you know, 13 year old kids, you.

Know, with Cheetos on their fingers and wiping it on a T shirt, trying.

To troll and get a reaction. Yeah, people, oh, my God, somebody's listening to me. So I've dealt with that for many, many years. And I was also capitulating a little bit with that with, with, with my wife. You know, she's like, you know, shave and wear a suit and it looks better and you'll make more money. And I still get people on my social media telling me that shave, you know, you'll be more successful. And you know, you know, why don't you have your old look or. And a lot of girls. The way I see it is, is it's really the indoctrination of the culture because this is the wild man, the primal man. This is natural man. Right. So, so what is it about, you know, some people that can, can't accept that or don't want to accept that? And it really comes down to business is done in a certain way. You wear a monkey, which is the actual. The origins of the business suit today come from military. And then the noose around your neck, that is basically a noose, a slave noose, in my humble opinion. And I don't feel comfortable in this stuff. I look like a million bucks in it, but I don't feel comfortable. And so I stopped caring about what other people think. And then I was like, what really feeds my soul and what feeds my soul is being as naked as possible in the sun, as barefooted and grounded to the earth as much as possible. Moving my body most of the day. My, my fuel mixture is high quality organic food. I need good water, I need damn good sleep. I need to get my mind right. If I'm utilizing, you know, wi fi and electricity is all around me, I need to be able to be balanced in this world. So I started putting all those elements first just to stay balanced. Otherw as me is a dick, right? And you don't need an angry, you know, guy with all his wounds out there. And so for me to self medicate is all the that I do.

I'm almost positive that you've shared about gut brain access problems and dysbiosis. You healed your gut over many years.

Yeah.

What was that like? I mean, because I'm sure that is a total speaker that feeds some of the things you give to your audience now. Like if your gut is unhealthy, that's going to mess with your mind. That's going to make you not be able to love fully, which I'm so stoked to talk about rythmia later. I want to like jump into that right now. We'll hold the fort on that. But, but talk to us about how you healed Yourself, because I find this, you know, the wounded healer becomes the healer, the archetype of separation, initiation, return, some kind of hero's journey that repeats multiple times in one's life. You had to heal yourself in order to now stand firm in this wellness. Cowboy Troy Casey Certified health nut like, you had to go through your own healing, man. Can you share that with us?

So that was about a 30 year progression. I started out as a Versace model. Walking into the agency, you know, you spend money to market yourself, bring yourself to Milan, pay for hotels, and you want to go see clients. And you walk into the agency and they're like, oh, honey, you're fat. You know, and it's like, you know, I'm a young kid, 23 years old. It's like, I didn't do anything different than I did yesterday. I'm the same guy, but I would bloat and I would hold on extra water. And I didn't know what that was. So I went down to the bookstore, found a book on nutrition. Oh, wow. Fruits and vegetables are real food. Who knew, you know, growing up as an American on processed foods, right? Captain Crunch and Pop Tarts. And so, so there was my education right there. And then they had farmers markets. I never even went to a farmer's market. And in Italy, they're everywhere, right? So there, there was my education that started about 30 years ago. So what I know about the two forces that are on the planet yin and yang is your curse is your gift, right? So it's the, it's this, it's. It's the same side of the coin, the other side of the coin, right? So my curse was that I had digestive issues. All right? So 30 years forward, I can now see that there was emotional issues in my second and third chakra, especially since I started doing Taoist stomach massage. Your vagus nerve goes down through your heart, through your gut, and then there's all these nerve endings in your abdomen area, and you can feel them. They're very sensitive, especially right underneath your sternum and then around your belly button. And so I had issues, if I could pinpoint, would be in my descending colon, right in that area. And I think it's more along the lines of that vagus nerve. There's some impingement there. And then that's on my second chakra. And then my power chakra used to be so sore right underneath the sternum. And so, so lo and behold, okay, you get yelled at when you're younger. And, you know, my stepfather was a bit Abusive and, you know, you shut down, you know, somebody yells at you, you hold your breath and all sorts of stagnation gets there. So you got the emotional component, you got the physical component. I was vaccinated. Antibiotics, you know, to the point where, you know, I grew up in the 70s, so they were handing out antibiotics almost as bad as they're handing them out now, but, but still they, they, you know, all that stuff. After I got vaccinated, I had all sorts of ear infections and then they give antibiotics for that. So who knows? On my gut, microbiome was disrupted. Not to mention I had a mother that was knocked out cold when I was delivered and I don't know how much breastfeeding she did, to tell you the truth.

Were you natural birth or do they have cesarean?

I was natural birth.

Okay, so you were washed.

I was scalped out of her vagina with these, these spatula type things that go around and pull the skull out. Yeah, and it makes sense because when people try and fuck with me or pull me around or something, I want to fight back. Right. So I was literally ripped out of my mother's vagina while she was unconscious. I did a lot of research when my children came. I worked with a world renowned midwife and she showed me the military videos of back then with these scalpels that would go in the vagina, circle the head and then actually pull you out.

I've heard research on that too, that even that's where rebirthing came from, is from people that had traumatic births. And Leonard Orr with his rebirthing. And also just like the rebirthing movement where people will have to go back to their birthing and reassimilate it, re imprint it where they're safe, they're held, they're supported. And I've heard a lot of it has to do with the pressure of the mother's vagina where the lips actually push. The pressure of that can mess with people's entry into the world. And so this rebirthing process goes back and does ultimate healing. Have you heard of this rebirthing?

Oh, and I've done it.

Oh, you have?

And rebirthing's miracle. Yeah, I've done it many times actually. And then I've also heard that the C section children, the psychology, the psychologists have much harder trouble dealing with them because they don't have the vaginal pineal gland squish. Right. So that those vaginal muscles squish on the head. You got a soft spot on the top of the skull, squeezes the skull. The DMT comes Out and you are born into this world with a, with a full DMT experience. And so I don't, I don't know how much that's true. You know, everybody. You got any scientific proof for that? I heard this and that makes sense to me.

Gosh, man. Okay, so at what point did you like hit the bottom of the well where you're like, cool, if I don't fix this gut issue, something bad's going to happen. Like we all have that moment where it's like gets really real.

Well, for me it was a progression. So what I noticed first on is I started juicing and juicing subjugated the majority of my problems. And I also started doing some form of calorie restricted intermittent fasting which is called juicing.

Right.

So I was putting in pre digested liquid, bioavailable, high quality nutrient, pre pre digested. Right. Already easily absorbed, so there's no digestion required. And actually those materials, the celery juices, the cabbage juice, the carrot juice, that, that's going to stimulate parasolsis function anyways, so that rectified my issue to a certain degree right then and there. Plus I started working with herbs, dandelion, which is a diuretic for my bloating. And I, and I think because I also partied for many years that diet that the dandelion, you know, preserve my liver. And, and so I truly feel that. And so did dandelion. Got it in the cascara sagrada and senna. But some of those herbs are medicinal and they build up a tolerance to that. So I had to do the dance with that. I knew that, you know, colonics and, and, and enemas, you know, that's an, that's a outhole, not an in hole. And so yeah, they work. But, but I didn't want to come dependent on it. I did a colonic one time and I didn't get the same results and I'm like, hey, this is not sustainable.

Have your views changed on enemas? With all, you know, now they're, they're useful.

I just recommend people don't become dependent upon them.

Yeah, you hit it from the top down instead of the bottom up now.

Yes, okay. Correct. And I think the great equalizer is I wasn't going to go there now, but I will go there. But aged urine enemas are the one thing that really helped put the nail in the coff, my gut issues. So it wasn't until I started doing age year and enemas.

Where'd you Learn about that.

The funny thing is my story was going linearly and now I'm.

We'll go back to.

Now I'm at the end and I'm trying to figure out because there was some. Some critical pieces. I had black mold exposure and then my gut really got up and then I had this gurgling and you know, so this is, this was within the last five years. You know, I had a. Got fungal and not so much fungal infection, but I could feel something gurgling around there at night. Things weren't digesting like it just wasn't right down there. And that was, that was just in the last five years. And so I started doing a lot of breath work with my breath work coach. And he had cured himself of testicular cancer with shivambu, or urine therapy. And I'd been doing urine therapy for many years, drinking my own urine first thing in the morning. But it, it. He challenged me to a urine fast where you loop your urine. You constantly. You loop your urine. And the purpose of that is the biofeedback loop. And it's the best biofeedback loop. It's going to allow your body to self correct. Hey, this is what's going on with it.

Sounds like it doesn't taste that good though.

I actually love the way. Oh my God. I love the way it first feels.

Okay.

I love the way it feels.

So the taste reminds you of the, the healing that's happening.

Yeah. What's going on with my body.

Wow. Okay.

Like instantly like biocomputer. Just like you don't have to think about it or anything.

So along with the juicing and the greens and giving your digestion really the nourishing kind of love that it, that it wanted. It also sounds to be emotional at the same time. Being the modeling industry is hard, man. That's a pretty unhealthy industry.

Very unhealthy. And that is a mirror back to where my consciousness, I think the entertainment industry, but the modeling industry is probably one of the worst.

Drugs, cigarettes and stimulants.

Yeah, all of that. And it's just a high level of dysfunction, sexual abuse, you know, that towards the end I really, I couldn't handle it because all the gatekeepers of the work were homosexuals. And there's a lot of sexual innuendos and game playing. And I just don't fucking play games very well. You know, I'm a straight shooter. I grew up on the street. I was incarcerated as a youth. I don't like people fucking with me. I'm Highly intuitive psychic, whatever you want to call it. And the reason is I used to call it, you know, I'm street smart, whatever is because of threat assessment. I learned very on when I was a child when things started to go fucking haywire in the house. Hey, what's what and what do I need to do to keep safe? So in a split second, I can read people like a book and I can see that, and I can also feel their energy. And that's gotten me into a lot of trouble because I've spoken out of it. I didn't know what it was before, but I would say, hey, you. You know, and you say you to someone, sure, you lose the battle.

Typically that's confrontational when you, you.

Exactly. But now I'm realizing that I'm just extremely highly intuitive. And so, and, and, and you know, it really comes down to threat assessment.

What was it about the childhood? Because I was raised in split homes. I was two months old in an incubator. Like, I had a very challenging. Just like I think most people do that care. Most people that have this thirst and hunger for consciousness, they come into the world and part of their entry into the world is some kind of threshold, some kind of challenge. And for some people, it's like higher degrees than others. But there was something maybe specific about your home life early that allowed you to really feel that deep, dark contrast. What was that contrast, man?

Well, I mean, again, back to my research. When my children came, I wanted to make sure I healed my wounds enough or be aware of them once my kids came so I wouldn't repeat those patterns. So I interviewed my parents, both of them. My parents were fighting physically when I was in the womb again, my mother was knocked out cold. You know, nothing wrong with my parents. Everybody's just doing the best they can. And here's the other thing I really want to put into this conversation. No victims, right? Of course, there is no victim consciousness. It's just this is all spiritual fodder for our own awakening, is my working philosophy. So, you know, whatever trauma that we experience, it's all just part of the growth trajectory. So they were fighting physically when I was in the womb. And then I think we were together for another year and a half before my mother left my, my, my real father. So that went on from basically minus zero to one and a half. Yeah, physical. You know, my, my dad's Irish and, and my grandfather. I think there was a lot of, you know, abuse and, you know, plenty of high vibe, you know, high energy.

Not high Vibe, not high vibe. Yeah.

High energy intensity. Right. And so my nervous system is still on guard to this day, to the point where I have to wear noise cancellation headphones and I wear the construction worker ones, not the Bose because I don't like the Bluetooth, but I have to wear those. And when I'm tired or real sensitive and I got to go out, maybe I'm riding my bike and there's buses running by, I'll put those things on even if I got to go outside. I'll even wear them in public places just because I can be so sensitive. And then I learned that, you know, growing up with my children, the screaming, oh my God, it just, it was too much for my nervous system. So I had head cancel noise cancellation headphones around me at all times. And so, so my nervous system was, was on guard. And then, and then growing up, my, my stepfather, I was, I was fortunate enough to do a tour of his orphanages in Scotland and to see the abuse that he endured there.

Wow.

And was able to forgive him for whatever that transferred into my life. I mean, seriously, like crying and just be like, man, I didn't even tell him. I forgot. I just, dude, I forgive you. You know what I'm saying? Like, I. Dude, your pain that you endured.

Yeah.

You know, and being split up from your family. Christmas Day is his. His aunt took him to the orphanage, not even the mother, and dropped them the off.

Yeah.

That's intense. And then when he was 12, he was older and his younger brother was younger and the boys have to go into split homes. And he had, he had, he had collected some change from, from begging in the street, whatever he did. But he had his own little pile of money and they found that and they called him a thief and they ripped his clothes off and whipped him in front of the 40 new boys he was going to be in the house with.

I'm like, this is, this is like a horror movie. Yeah.

Like, holy, I'm in tears here. And no matter what it was, it was just like, I forgive you, bro. And understand.

Yeah.

You know, it was deep and so, you know, and God forbid that guy raised his voice when I was a kid, the terror that I could just feel from that, it was like, holy. So I understand where all my nervous system got all this training and this anger and this pent up emotions and this digestive issue stuff. And so it was, you know, it's understandable now and again. Your curse is your gift. So now I've navigated all these terrains for so Many years. I've got all the shortcuts all piled up into a 10 day juice cleanse. Or, you know, if you've really got the gumption and you're not married yet, or even if you are married, go sit a 10 day Vipassana course. Yeah. You know, go to fucking rythmia if you got the cash and dump if you don't have the cash, sell your.

House, sell your car that you don't need. Dude, Troy, I had no idea of all the things that happened for you with, with parents. And it just, it just hits a spot in me because I have this sense, especially after interviewing Mark Wolin on the show. He wrote a called it didn't start with you. Healing generational pain. Healing generational trauma. Even the way you've articulated all the things that happen to your father, there's probably things that happened to your grandfather and your great great grandfather where we're literally kind of fed beliefs that get imprinted epigenetically in us. Our grandmother actually was born with the seeds of you and I inside of her womb, our grandmothers. So everything is traced back to generational learning, generational pain. And this is why it's so powerful that you're here on Wellness Force talking about where you are today. Because this conversation would have never happened out of your father's mouth, out of your grandfather's mouth. The awareness wasn't there. The awareness wasn't there. So really, what do you consider yourself to be a harbinger of awareness for other people? Just your vehicle is health.

I mean, that's some, some cute linguistic gymnastics. I mean, that's great. You know, people view me this, that or the other thing and I kind of just. Nomenclature is cool. Yeah, but I'm just living in the skin suit just like everyone else.

Right, but we're here in the 3D and those words have impact for people.

Yeah. So what's the question again? Harbinger question.

The question is, do you feel like in some way that you're an energy or a messenger of awareness of consciousness?

Oh, absolutely. As much as I feel that everyone is, I think that maybe potentially I've cleared my channel a little bit more, that I can be that conduit, that clean channel. And, and ultimately that is what my, my mission is to do. Right. My mission is to raise human consciousness and change all systems. So that means I have to raise my own consciousness first. And so, so yeah, I'm, I'm my mission. You know, I've got, you know, many ways to say it, you know, I've definitely. My commitment is full enlightenment in my lifetime. But however, I can be a channel of the divine. However I can be, you know, the oasis in the middle of the desert. For others, I can be the test monkey to go, you know, tip my toe in the water and see if it's cold or warm and give the feedback. Yeah, I can be the test monkey for everyone else.

You know, it's challenging, though, because a lot of people that are in need of more awareness, there's a certain language that must be used in order to reach them. Right. Because if you went and said, I want full enlightenment in my lifetime, and. And you tried to reach people that were maybe on Hawkins scale, they were more towards fear or shame or grief or sadness down there, they might not get that language. It's cool because we were talking about it.

So I don't tell that to most.

People here on Wellness Force. Like, we know what you're talking about, man. But there is something to be said about, gosh, being a messenger is just as important as the message itself. Sometimes the messenger of consciousness or the messenger of anything that's going to help heal can turn off the message. So you've done work on being a great messenger.

Right.

And your message resonates with certain kinds of people. It seems like, to me, a lot of men are drawn to you. Why is that? Why are so many men being drawn to this work that you're doing?

Well, I mean, you say this work, there's a. That's pretty broad because I do the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Maybe, you know, I got my ripped at 50 marketing campaign in my book coming out. You know, I'm in decent shape for someone my age and certainly not the 70% obesity norm that we live in. So maybe there's a traction on the physicality.

There's.

I think men also, you know, they see the primal animal. They see the. The wild man inside of me. And I think I know every single person has that wild man inside of them, that wild animal inside of them, and they want to let it out, whether it's in the bedroom or whether it's, you know, growing a beard and acting like Dan Blazerian, you know. Yeah, whatever, for sure. You know, just letting it all hang out and saying, this is me like Dennis Rodman or, you know, any other W man that's out there. So there's an attraction component to that as well. And I mean, again, not to toot my own horn, and people probably think I'm an egomaniac, but I know my Shit, you know, and that's also attractive as well, you know, you want to learn from other people that got their shit together. I learned from everyone, first and foremost. I'll learn what not to do from people that I don't like or don't like the way they're operating. But the fact of the matter is, that's why I love Paul Check so much. He knows his fucking shit. And it's not just knowledge. He applied that knowledge into his physical structure. So it's not enough to have these good ideas and be able to speak them. You know, it's like the old adage, dead doctors don't lie. You know, what's the average death of a doctor? It's like in their 50s or something like that. And so leading by example is so important to me because my greatest fear, Josh is bullshitting myself. Right? That's my greatest fear. And so, so, you know, maybe, maybe guys are attracted to that. Obviously I'm doing men's work right now. People are attracted to that. Yeah, people want community, they want to feel. And you know, a lot of people in marketing, branding that, you know, they're talking about community and they want to lead with that. But that's not the way my, my mind operates. Let me just be a intact human being. Let me just be as open and vulnerable and conscious and strong and brilliant, and let me just be a man the best I can, the best I know in the moment, and let the chips fall where they may. You know, Let me just be the best.

What do you think being a man really is, especially now?

Well, I'm definitely exploring that level of philosophical thought. I think, you know, being a man, what does this be? Such an abstract kind of subjective kind of thing, but being a man, I mean, first of all, I think that there are divine masculine qualities. I think David Data talks about this, and I haven't read all of his literature, but I do know that has a tremendous validity. And I think the masculine in general, it's got the structure, it's kind of, you know, as an, as an arrow or the up facing triangle which represents the phallic symbol in the Star of David. And then the woman represents the downward facing triangle angle. So I think man traditionally, and the testosterone and the biological and the physiological components of our ability to have strength and to be able to fight this or that. I believe a good portion of masculine energy and being a man is to know what's on the horizon, to eat and what will eat you. And because the modern world and the technology has Changed. What will eat you is dark and nefarious, and it's not out there. In fact, it's packaged in, you know, new and improved tide. And, and, and this is the greatest thing from sliced bread or whatever, you know. And so, so, man, David Data's work, if I could quote it, I don't want to bastardize again. This isn't my big wheelhouse. Even though I'm doing a lot of men's work right now, I'm just doing it all kind of intuitively. But man is there to set up the perimeter so the feminine can dance, right? So the feminine can flower, right? And everybody's doing their task now. Men have a stronger structure. They have some testosterone, so there's different elements. And the feminine makes things beautiful. And so we do that dance together. We're complementary opposites, right? There's two forces in the seven natural immutable laws. The law of polarity, or the law of gender as well, is always at play. And then we also have the yin and the yang, the masculine and feminine, inside of each one of ourselves. And we want to stay as balanced as possible. Or at least the ancient sages have all said, walk the razor's edge. You know, balance, you know, the middle path. So you. So you're walking between, you know, both of them. And, and so I do think, you know, what, what is a man? You know, I. Look, listen, I. I got caught up in the little hippie dippy doo west side, Los Angeles. You know, everything's love and bliss.

You know, let me be all the same. There's no such thing as gen. Crazy conversations.

Oh my God. Let me tell you, nothing is bigger than a shit show of confusion than, than, than, than, than all of that. But look, when my. One of my businesses went down, my wife is very skilled in the fashion industry. We had our second child. My. I was working in the Amazon with an herbal company. There was challenges at the highest level. I was, I was attached to that mission. I drove so much change in that company that, that we brought on consultants and I basically basically myself out of a commission check. That's a negative way to look at it. I basically blessed myself with another path that helped me go to where I am today.

Us. To sit together.

Yeah, a. You know, so. But my heart was really invested in that. You can see my older YouTube videos from the beginning, that was all in the Amazon. And, and so, so I said, look, I'm a man. I love my kids. I want to spend all the time with them. I'll play Mr. Mom. Right. Hormonally, that exhausted me. It broke me. And you know what? My woman, because of the conditioning or whatever, is out there, you know, it was like man money and women, you know, take care of the kids.

Yeah.

And as soon as that role got. She was. She was probably jealous of me. She was feeling insecure about her own, you know, mothering, probably, you know, guilty mommy guilt layered. So me washing the dishes and taking care of the kids and change diapers and all that other. Wasn't good enough. It literally, in our society, in our constructs, where maybe we shouldn't have these ideas, let me tell you, they're there.

Yeah.

They're really there.

Whether it's from conditioning or not, there's something visceral, something primal where they come from.

So. And at the same time, my wife was wearing her man pants. So then when I would. She's a smart woman and I want to honor her. So I was allowing her information to come in, but it was subjugating my internal guidance system, my intuition, my innate intelligence. I didn't know that then, but I can put words to it now because now that we're back remarried again and she trusts everything I do and loves my beard. She wanted me to shave it in the beginning because. To make more money, but she was still caught up in that. But she loves my beard. She loves my confidence. She loves everything that I'm doing, doing. And now what I tell her is, I said, please, I'm here to listen to you. I want to listen to you. I honor your intelligence and your feminine input. However, I have to have my own internal guidance system in place. I have to make the decisions that are right whether I fall on my face or not. I have to have some bearings in time and space. And that's going to come from my own primal animal, my own intuition. However, I'm guiding myself. And so. And she understands that. That now, and she really wants to let go and go into the feminine. I told my wife, now your only job is being beautiful.

That land for a minute. That's powerful, man.

And it feels amazing. Yeah. You know, I'm actually in a position. I had to do a lot of work around surrender because I did a lot of work on marketing and click funnels and trying to monetize everything that I was 3D world, shit, bootstrap my ideas, like from zero to, you know, sustainable and west side of Los Angeles. I need like 20 grand a month just to. Just to live right. And so, you know, I drove myself crazy. And actually, the final Piece that really helped me was just surrendering to what is, which is a feminine aspect, you know. And so, you know, now that I'm actually in a position, I feel stronger. My beard's out, my hair's longer. You know, I feel that primal element. I'm like, babe, I got this. Your number one duty is take care of yourself. And that's in fact that's my message to everyone. Self care, self love is first on the chopping block. You think you love people. I don't want to hear love and bliss. It's all about love and everybody. It's like love yourself. First you complain about the government, self govern yourself, right? Let's see where you're at. You know, manage yourself first and foremost. I think that's so important.

Well, this is the ego's lie where if there's an outward facing, I'm gonna fix these problems. The government's wrong, the city's wrong, it's wrong on the outside. Then the ego never actually has to get messed with. There's no challenge within. It's almost like a hiding right. Complaining about external environment things or complaining about how the society is. And granted there's some things that we get to change, but yet if there's nothing changed within me, if I'm not loving myself, if I don't have a deep well, a bedrock of self love, there's nothing I can really do on the outside world to change it. It's not going to happen.

Not only that, but you're a wet blanket for everybody else. Yeah, a victim, wet blanket. Oh, woe is me. Poor is me. Blame, complain. And let me tell you guys, I've been there.

So yeah, to be human. We've all felt like a victim at times. Times.

Oh man, I had to do a gratitude journal systematically to cure my mind of that hellhole.

How long was the gratitude journal?

I did. My brother challenged me. You think you know everything, right? And he came over my house and we don't have a close relationship and, and he said a couple things. He's been studying Tony Robbins for 30 years and he's successful in business. And so I listened up. I was in a, I was in a. I was in a bottom place in my life. And he said, look, just do a gratitude journal and focus on what you want want. And so I took that to heart because I was in a low, low place. And I did that religiously probably six months. I did morning and evening and then that balanced out at least a year and a half diligently every day. And I'm so grateful right now that, you know, I still do it occasionally, but I'm just grateful. I'm hell or high water. I'm just grateful.

And the times where it matters the most, Troy, is when we least want to be grateful. It's like, when is love most important? When is love most powerful? When a man or a woman or just a human is experiencing the deepest trigger ever. That's when love can wash away everything. But yet in that moment, God, what is it, man? What is it about? What is it about the human psyche where. When we're in the deepest trigger, when gratitude and love and all these higher level emotions would actually serve us, there's something about the psyche that resists it, that resists the love, that resists the gratitude.

What.

What do you think that is? The resistance?

I think it's so much easier to complain and blame everybody else. It's like less work. Yeah. Oh, I gotta be responsible for my stuff. Oh, that's too much work, you know? Yeah. And I don't. I don't want to minimize this for anyone. I mean, it's. This is the human condition. This is. This is where the rubber really meets the. For being on this earth plane. So I don't want to minimize it. But, yeah, the more we can just be grateful. Do the gratitude list for a year and a half, guys. Just do it. If your life sucks, just do that, do that. Be grateful for what you have. Because let me tell you, there's people with less than what you have. You got fingers. There's people without fingers.

I was in Thailand in January and I bought gasoline out of a whiskey bottle. And there were people that were just living in absolute squalor. Like the kind of poverty that would make anyone just want to give to them and hold them.

Yeah.

And I can even feel it right now. And I was thinking, God, they were so happy, though.

Yeah.

They were such a good mood. This woman gave me a ride home up to the hotel on her scooter, and I tried to put five bucks in her pocket. And she was like, no, I don't want this. And I'm like, no, really, it would mean a lot to me if you would receive this. And she said, no, you. It would mean a lot to me if you would just take my. My ride. And you didn't give me anything. And I was just. I was blown the. Away. I was blown away because I just thought to myself, here, here is someone that would. That $5 would give her food for probably, you know, half a week. Or almost a week. Yet there was so much love in her that she just wanted to give without anything in return. And I was like, wow, maybe I came out to Thailand not for my breath work, but just to get that one gift right there. Just to get that one gift. Gift. And I feel it with you too, man, because you've gone through the thresholds of understanding. Like you share with us about your father, you share with us about your own health journey. You share with us about having the role reversal with you and your wife. Like, dude, this is real life. And this prepared you to be able to be on this platform now to launch your book. Can't you just look back and see how it all happened for you?

Perfect.

Legitimately happened for you?

Yes. All the hell. Hell. All of it. It's like, perfect.

And now let's talk about rythmia. Because rythmia, if you would have gone to arrhythmia at another time, do you even think that you and your wife would have come together? Let's dig into the story, man, because it fills my heart with joy and pride. And honestly, just like a brother, I'm just like, oh, like, if I were to see my own brother go through what you went through, I would feel the exact same way.

Yeah, it was magical the way it worked out. And, you know, they declined her coming down when the other assistant was working. Working. Yeah. And then we changed assistance and we figured we'd pop that question again. Wouldn't it be great to have media on a divorced couple? And then I think you might. I told them, I think you might have pushed you. You might have helped us push that. I did.

I said, are you sure you don't want both of them to go?

Yeah, yeah. So. God, I mean, Rhythmia. So I've been working with ayahuasca since 2006 in the Amazon rainforest. I've done five retreats so far, both for myself and bringing other pilgrims down there. And my fifth was at Rhythmia. And the last one, this was 2019. The last one I did before that was 2012. So I'm. I'm not a big medicine junkie. I love medicine. I don't need to do it every.

Week, but only when you're called.

Right, right. Well, it's a big responsibility for Someone. I'm almost 54 now, and I don't like to fuck with my sleep. And between my injury with black mold and having kids in my 40s, I just don't mess with my sleep, you know? So doing. Doing any kind of ceremony after dark. And staying up all night is not the top thing on the chopping block. Although I want to do, I want to heal myself. You know, I don't do ceremonies very often. I've done one or two up here in Los Angeles or in Southern California, but for the most part, I go to the jungle, go and do my medicine. And what they offered at rythmia, I mean, first of all, the western mind wants to know. My gringo shaman in the Amazon, Scott Peterson, told me that, you know, he was a psychologist as well. And he just basically said, there's something about the western mind. You know, obviously it's been infected with multiple brain viruses or memetic viruses, but. But it just wants to know, hey, what's going on with me? What's this process? And you tell them, and it can help it unwind a little bit better the mental, mental health. And so you go down arrhythmia, and it's just set up. It's like perfect creature comforts. You know, they pick you up from the airport, there's a little intro, it's serious, you got to sign a waiver. It helps prep you on, on. It talks about, you know, receiving a miracle, you know, which to me, I studied enough marketing. I was like, yeah, that looks like cute marketing. I got my miracle on the first night of breathwork, man. I went into a full blown, like Kundalini awakening, man. I was, I was literally trying to levitate. I was up on my knees, I was in a full, full lotus. Like I can get into full lotus sometimes, but I was just like instantly in a full lotus and I was staying there and I was trying to, like, I was pushing my arms off the ground and getting up on my knees and full lotus. And I was, I was like literally trying to levitate, man. I, I totally like cycled through all the tetany and stuff like that within less than 15 minutes. And I was like, whoa, I'm fucking. I just kept fucking breathing. And people came over and I was like, everything's fine, you know, I'm doing great. You know, they're like, you want to lay down? I was like, well, not really. I'm like in this position because it's just what happened. And so anyhow, you know, he prefaces it or pre frames it with, you know, receive your miracle. And sure enough, you know, I didn't even drink ayahuasca and I already received a miracle. I was like, one of the facilitators came over and they're like, they were trying to get me to lay down. I said, I'll lay down if you want me to, but I'm having fucking the best yoga experience I've ever had in my life. I was like, I don't know if you want to stop this. So that was just the first thing. And, you know, how do you get into that? Well, I came in there, I checked my bags and went into my room. My room's completely clean. I come into breathwork. They've got a nice pillow, They've got a nice blanket. Everything's clean. Everything's cordial. There's good instruction. There's. Everything's comfortable. And there's coconut water on tap. I mean, holy with that. And so it's good coconut water, too. It tastes like it's got a little bit of lime in the coconut, you know? Anyways, I was in heaven, man. Coconut water is a big deal for me. Yes, yes. So. So I'm there in heaven and I'm having my miracle experience. It's just all the creature comforts are there. They got a beautiful, nice blanket, a clean pillow, you know. You know, clean pillowcase. And, you know, it's just like, I could go deeper. I felt cared for, and I could go deeper, faster, because it wasn't, you know, you're not in the Amazon. It's just like, you know, oh, that.

There'S no boa constrictor.

That snake I saw on the way up here that they told me was deadly is on my mind.

And.

And so are the mosquitoes that are eating me to fucking live. And, you know, and it's just like. And, God, the Peruvian ayahuasca is like, yahe. You know, it's like. I think it's all yahe in the Amazon, to tell you the truth. I mean, I don't know exactly what the specific brew was, but they did tell me it was ayahuasca and chicken aruna only. So I'm like, what the is the difference? Because there's a difference between. Brad makes his medicine, it seems to be a little bit lighter and even lighter taste.

There's a progression. Arrhythmia. I mean, they take you through low, medium, medium, high, and then blast it into outer space on the last night.

But.

But I gotta ask you, man, what was in your heart in that breath work? What'd you take in there to the breath work? What was the miracle that came through?

Yeah, so. So they gave a whole lecture on intention setting, and they had, you know, Reverend Michael Beckwith's technology from Agape International Spiritual Center. And it was either JJ or Kim Taranova was teaching. And it's all about intentions. And, you know, you hear about intention setting and all that stuff, and sometimes I, you know, I just marginalize a hippie fruitcake shit, you know? But then I was just like, you know, I know this shit works because somebody told me to do that in Peru the first time I went there. And I was like, okay, so I hadn't set my intention. So I was about to land on the plane. I was like, all right, let me set my intention, all right? I want to connect to the divine feminine and all of its facets and open up my heart. Let me tell you, I got everything I bargained for in that 2006 trip. So I'm in breath work and I go, breath work? We're doing transformational Leonard or kind of stuff. I'm like, yeah, the tetany, it takes about an hour and a half to get in there. It's.

Were you resisting? Were you resisting?

Yeah, I was resisting, yeah. And so I'm telling myself this whole story and I was like, Like, I just took a class on intention setting. How about right in the middle of whatever I'm telling myself. Yeah, how about I say ease and grace and it's gonna be a amazing. And then boom, 15 minutes later, I'm like full blown levitating, you know, so it's just like I reset my. What were you levitating about? What was it? Oh, I just, I. I cycled through some, like, whatever the, the breath work does for you and activates the DMT or whatever it was happening. Right. It was literally like I was, I was elevating, I was. I was going somewhere. It was like my. My Merkaba wanted to take off and fly. Why? And so, so, yeah, intention setting is, you know, it's. It's valid.

I've gotten just as powerful breakthroughs and emotional hammers from breath work than I have with ayahuasca. It's been the same magnitude. And I just. Actually this week, man, I drove out here from Sedona and we did this week intensive with breath called Breath is Prayer. A woman named Gwen Payne off out there and I had this beautiful connection to the fact that not only have all of us completely been supported, but it is absolutely my choice to declare that I've been supported the whole time. And it's not mumbo jumbo, like spiritual bathwater, right? I'm talking about the feeling. The same thing you mentioned about Paul, the same thing you mentioned about yourself. The embodiment the clicking in of lessons rather than just gathering and applying and speaking about them as if they're clicked out.

Oh, totally.

It's actually spiritual bypassing. Yeah. The breath work work clicks in and locks in almost like at the top of a lid. It snaps in.

Yeah.

Breath work for me has snapped in so many lessons that honestly, in Ceremony, we're so intense and there's so many different consciousnesses spinning around the room. And I don't know if you feel this way. Sometimes breath work can be more powerful because the space is so safe and we're not accessing the DMT states as drastically or as radically as when we fly into, like, different dimensions with. With Ayahuasca. Do you feel like the breath work for you has been just as powerful or is just different?

Except for that one time at Rythmia, actually, I've had quite a few profound experiences on breath work. So it's different. It's.

It's a different modality.

Yeah, it's different and. But yes, it's very integrated if it's. It's very. And it has the tools to put it all together because you're getting high on your own supply. It's endogenous. Right. So I think there's a. There's an internal awakening that happens. Like, oh, I can do this myself. This is coming anywhere.

Me, I could do it in the car in front of the grocery store.

Well, let me tell everyone out there, don't do breath work in the car.

Don't do this while you're driving.

I almost passed out one time. So over.

If you're going to do the breath.

Oh, God. The only breath work you can do while you're driving is box breathing.

That's basically it. Okay, so first night you get in there then, and. And tell us about your wife. Can we mention her name?

Yeah. Yuri Lee.

Yuri Lee. Beautiful soul. We'll link the video in the show notes of you and her in the spa. Just talking about it was like 10 minutes of pure joy, pure love, pure bliss, where it was so. I was so proud. I was like, honestly, like part of me as a friend. I was so proud for what was coming through, through. And the way that you were, like, giving her space to speak and then you were, you. You were back in your power and there. And there was this dance between you and her. Yeah. And that dance, I think knowing your story now, maybe that dance kind of went away when you were playing mom. And that dance, like, had a resurgence of you and her now being in the dance and that's why love is coming through. So on that first night, was that the beginning of what I saw in the spa? Was the first night the beginning or did it happen later? Later?

The. The spa was the last one of the last days. Yep. Spa was one of the last days. Well, first of all, I want to say that you were definitely an integral instigator. Because. Because I'd been talking to Brandy for. For a couple of years. Arrhythmia people for a couple of years.

By the way, we're recording this in Brandy's house.

Yeah.

So that's interesting.

So for you to really, I think since since the bulletproof labs conference, you kind of pushed that forward, you really helped me out a lot. So. Fist bump on that. Damn.

Much love.

So, yeah. Which I'm very, I'm grateful for. But what was your question?

Yeah, essentially what I saw in that last video. Did it start the first night? Was it third night, second night? Like, when did it start to turn?

This is what happened. It's a little bit more of a story, but. Okay. So when we got divorced, basically she blamed me for everything. And she knew about internal work, but she basically, she wasn't looking inside, she was blaming me for. For everything. And a year into our divorce, I worked with a client who came in from out of town and she, she was okay to do 5 of Meo DMT. And I took her down to my shaman down there and. And she had an awakening. Now this shaman does 2 servings of 5 Meo DMT. One where you go for a deep dive and you go out and you meet God or dissolve into the all or whatever you want to call it. And then the other one is called a bottoms up, which is more of a kundalini eye gaz facing while your face is melting. And the object is to stay present. Right. It's magical. It's holy magical. Because I had never done it right. I'd always tried to go out and then I had my own fidgeting going on and I, I never went for the deep dive. A year later, I, I got that experience. But at this time, we're doing, we're doing the eye gazing. It's actually with my client flying on medicine, staying present. I came out of that ceremony going whatever. 50% of input that I have in the text messaging back and forth of trying to control and manipulate, or you do this or you do that and you pick up the kids here and you. And don't tell me what to do and whatever. 50 of my energy was Going into that. Cut that out. That was my message coming out of that ceremony. And I've done so much healing work over the years, and my wife doesn't like swearing. And I've, you know, tried to say for a million times, and I'll never swear again, and it fucking does. Some shit just doesn't stick, you know, I'm never gonna do that again. And you fucking go do it again. Well, this time I was just like, all right, cut that shit out, Troy. And it stuck. And about a month later, I say, you know, yeah, I'll take the kids. Whatever you need, you know? Yeah. And then she started being bitchy on top of that, and I was like, hey, don't you see that there is a little bit of a difference here? Tell me you recognize that. And she goes, yeah, but don't expect anything from me. And blah, blah, blah. A month later, she started drinking ayahuasca here in Los Angeles with. With a group. And she came to me and asked me to forgive her for blaming her for the sum total of everything. And so anybody that thinks this ayahuasca thing is like, oh, yeah, it's this or that or whatever, let me tell you, it's fucking.

It has nothing to do. It has nothing to do with doing drugs or getting high. That's not what it's about. It's about exactly what you just expressed, which is, can we get down to the truth where love actually is? And it's not the hipp dippy love that's here. It's the kind of love that we all can sense in our life is real. That's what fuels everything. That's what allows these flowers to grow. And the imagination that created this podcast, equipment, our clothes, like, whatever is breathing. You and I right now, we haven't thought about our breathing. You know, maybe you have. So there's something to this medicine, where it's from nature, it's from Gaia. Gaia is connected to father, father, mother. Everything is one. Yes. It is kind of like the language. That is esoteric, though. It can be very esoteric at times. So as people are listening to what you went through with your wife, there was definitely something that shifted in her even before she went to Rhythmia. I did not know that she shifted before she even went.

So she. She drank ayahuasca with me, half cup in 2008 in the Amazon, got bit by a mosquito and left. Took my son and everything. I was down there for 17 days with a grand group, and she was on a tour to Machu Picchu, and she came down to stay with me. And so we have a history of medicine. She just was never a big trooper. And then we went through the divorce, and it was very traumatic for her, but as soon as I was gone, she had to look in the mirror because there was nobody else to blame. And so. And. And. And then that went on for a while. And then she started drinking medicine. And so that medicine, you know, has. And then she did that every month for a year. Year. And then we.

Every month for a year.

Yeah.

Why so much?

Well, I think in Rhythmia, you do four nights in a row. That's a lot of good medicine. Doing one ceremony in the North America, I mean, you're still in the psychic density. You got to go to work in two days.

I mean, so it's the concentration, but not so much frequency that you think could be. Could be more healing, concentrated. Less frequency.

Yeah. I just think the weekend warrior stuff, it's good for doing some heavy lifting. But if you want to do the real work, I think it's good to go down to South America and go to the jungle and, you know, go off grid.

Yeah.

As much as possible. There's a. The therapeutic value, because, remember, drinking The Ayahuasca is 25 to 50% of the work. The rest of it is you got to implement.

The ceremony starts the minute that somebody agrees, and it continues for years after they come home.

Correct. Years. Correct. Amando. So. So. So there you go. So she started drinking medicine and started taking responsibility. And then my single prayer the whole time we were divorced was to be peace and harmony, no matter what. That was my intention. That was my prayer. Peace and harmony, no matter what, even if I fell on my face. And so as she started to drink medicine and started taking responsibility for her participation, then she was able to let go of a lot of preconceived notions. And then we started working together on family stuff. I mean, obviously, I'm gonna. I'm here to support my children, actually. I want to. I wanted to provide for her whether she was divorced or not, because she's the mother of the children. Right. So my objective was to get my business up higher and higher and higher so she's taken care of. She doesn't have to work, and she can take care of the children. So that's still my prayer. That's still my intention. I'm still working towards that. And she. She was struggling with her. Her industrial job, the fashion business, and Amazon.com has been inhaling that industry for 10 years. And she's just been frustrated with it. And that frustration she brings home. And. And we realized that all of her motivation for that, because she wanted to break away from that. When she met me at the health food store, she wanted to open up a healing center. She wanted to get away from the fashion industry, yet she kept on going back because it was eat, eat, quote, unquote, easy me money.

Yeah.

But it was so much pain for her to stay in a job that she hated. And so as. As my business started doing better and she started drinking more medicine, she realized I got to get away from this industry that I hate. But she still couldn't do it out of the grip of fear.

Yeah. And so how many people listening can feel that grip wherever you are right now? You guys know what we're talking about. Your wife is just a mirror of millions of souls that feel that grip.

And she's got a Christian background, and she's very loving on so many different levels. So the surface is like, I'm love. I don't operate from fear. You know, but the fact of the matter, she was driven by the fear of not having enough. And it's understandable because the mother instinct is there. Right. She wants to provide.

Sure.

For the little ones.

Yeah. It's coming from a perfect place of love. It's just the awareness. And the consciousness isn't. Hasn't blended it yet. It's coming from a good place.

And so for her strapping on the man pants and for me being Mr. Monster Mom, I got worn out hormonally because they've got an extra gene or some kind of functionality that allows them to be completely exhausted and loving at the same time.

Women are just really strong multitaskers. I know it's a blanket statement, but the blanket rings true for me. I just feel like men, we do one thing really well at a time.

Yeah.

Anyways, so.

So she was trying to put on her man pants. I was trying. Trying to do everything, and everybody was miserable. So now that the roles of switch, we're in our natural. Natural, you know, more flow.

Yeah.

And I can breathe and be myself. She was also inner masculine, trying to second guess everything. I'd start going to my business in one direction, and she'd be like, no, change this, no do this, no do that, because we're going for the. The shortcuts. Like, we need to put money on the table right now. And, you know, and so. And it was up my internal guidance system. So the divorce did miracles for us because it was really able to focus on. On everything that I needed.

Was it an actual legal divorce? Paperwork and everything?

Y.

And what year was that?

That was. I think we got divorced last year. It was about a year out of the. Out of the marriage. We did it pretty straight. I said no courts, no paperwork, period. I won't walk in it. I won't. And I don't do paperwork. Yeah. So she honored that. She really wanted the divorce. Couldn't solve our problems together. And. Duly noted. Right? She wasn't doing her own work. She wasn't looking in the mirror.

Yeah.

Not. That's not to say that I don't have a pile of dysfunction or issues or shadow. It was just that she was unwilling to look in the mirror. And a year out, she was able to really go back and look in the mirror and really see what was what. Plus, you're out in the dating field, and it's like, it's such a headache.

She was in the first night of breath work with you, right? Were you side by side or were you across the room?

She was side by side.

Side by side. And then during that first ceremony, like, when did the love and the healing start to really pour in for you two? Was it a specific night or was it there from, like, the very beginning?

Well, the thing was, is I went on vacation with the kids in August, and so we started kissing. And, you know, I. The last two years, I started dating a lot of women. I'm like, hey, I'm free now. 15 free man. Woo. You know, whipped out. Oh, Bumble and Tinder. Oh, look at this kid. Kid in the candy store. You know, but I'm also 50 now. I'm a little bit more mature. And I was just like. And. And you have sex with a woman, and. And the next thing you know, codependents start coming up. So I had to look at my codependence. You know, this person's unhappy, and then I want to make them happy again. And then I'm like, where's that coming from? And then their unhappiness is actually a psychological game, you know, to hook you. And. And I was just like, okay, now I gotta pull back the reins. And the second you have sex with them, guess what? All emotional dysfunction gets to be at the party. And so I'm like, oh, that's a big responsibility. I don't know if I'm willing to have that.

So it wasn't just the candy store.

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's not just the candy store.

It's the candy store with the dirty toilet in the back and the dirty dishes and everything else that needs to be cleaned. And so I'm like, oh, fuck. All right, all right. This isn't as fun as I thought. So I pulled back quite a bit. And. And then. So that was my experience, you know, going out. And then I didn't. I like women, so I didn't want to be celibate. And then so she starts coming back into my life and, And. And she worked with me on my book as well, so I think I paid her a certain salary one month. And then she started doing all this creative stuff. And I said, what?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You know, I'm hiring you for your help, not for your creative input. I wanted to be clear on that because it really subjugated my internal guidance system. And I was. And I knew that. And so. Not that she doesn't have good ideas and not that they can't be honored, but I have to make the final decision. And my vendors and creatives that I'm working with, my team that I'm working with, if I'm saying one thing and she's saying something is slightly different, it's confusing them and fucking up the job. Right. It's confusing people. So I told her, you know, I have to make. She's like, I'm not your assistant. So we went back into that. You. No, you. You know, we went back into that thing. So paying her as an employee didn't work, but she still stuck around and she wanted to be part of it. And I said, look, I'm. When I. When this flies, you're going to benefit and get you guys a nice house you guys can live in. And. And you know, you're going to benefit. So she kept sticking around even though I wasn't paying her as an employee. Employee. And. And then we started kissing. And then because I realized that sex is such a huge responsibility, I was just like, hey, before we go down this road, like, what do you want? What are you looking for? And she said, well, I want to, you know, I want an intimate relationship. And I was like, oh, you know, we throw these fucking linguistics around. Like, you know, well, let's ground that into reality. Intimate. Okay, Come over my house and tell me all your friends, fears.

What?

What?

And this is after you've been married with kids.

Yeah, not only that, but, you know, that's one session that took two, two and a half, three hours. Now, when you go home now, come back now and hear all your desires. Right. You know all your sexual fantasies, I want to hear it all. Like, how intimate do you want to be? And then, and then actually we were right in the middle of kind of getting ready to hear desires. So I was going to go down with a legal pad down to arrhythmia and you know, start putting, you know, okay, this is what you want, this is what I want. You know, the masculine structured mind is like, all right, let's go solve all our problems.

Emotional inventory of everything that's going on.

So we'll never fall into a pitfall again. And what happened is we got to rhythmia and none of that shit fucking happened. We just started kissing and making love and there was just so much unspoken stuff that just didn't need to be smoking. And then the clean sweep with the ayahuasca for those four days and the breath work and all that stuff just cleaned everything up out. And, and there was no, there were no questions.

What was one of the moments when you were both doing ceremonies together that really opened your heart the most? What was one of the moments where something pierced in there and then like everything came out?

Well, it's pretty magical the way they have the pre frame or the, the program or whatever because they kind of talk about, about it going through those ceremony. Yahe was being married on Yahe was definitely the most healing for me, but I connected with my soul, you know, I was like, ah, come on, there's a bunch of hokey marketing, you know, I was like, you know, I know heal your heart, but connect with my soul, Come on. I'm connected, dude. I'm all right, I'm connected. But then I realized there's this little three year old guy inside of me and they had that front lawn out there. I swear to God, I paced 20 miles on day three. I think it was, was. And you know what I realized? I love walking barefoot, man.

Yeah.

And you know what? My mind's got a lot of ideas and they're good ideas. But you know what? My rubber soles aren't grounding them into the earth. And so I was like, I pace. I was writing comedy and I was working on ripped at 50 and I was, I was like, all these videos I'm gonna make and like that. And I was just like, this is part of my creative process. This is who I am. This is, this makes me happy. I'm happier than a pile of and pig. And I'm happier, happy. Just marching up and down. His grass is underneath my ground. I could feel a little bit of water and Moisture. Oh, that's Centipede just bit me. I'm happy on this grass, walking, flushing my ideas out of my head and moving my body. Right. Movement as medicine. I'm like, this makes me happy. And then I realized a day later I was about to get married. And I was like, I was ready to puke on Yahi. And I was like, oh, God. Oh, get married. Hold it together, Troy. You're getting married, dude. All right. And then I was like, all right, where's your soul? Soul, right. Because I connected him with him the day before. And then I was realizing. So it was right. It's right here. Third chakra area. Soul. Soul. Solar. Solar plexus. I was like, the words right there. That's where the soul for me resides. You know, I was like that little guy inside of me that likes to walk on the. Likes to walk on the grass.

Did you do that a lot? When you're a little boy, you'd walk barefoot.

I had hamburger toe when I was a kid because I stubbed it so much because on the cement. And I was a little hippie kid in the Haight Ashbury district of San Francisco, so I was plenty. Barefoot foot.

Yeah.

You know, and. But I didn't realize how much I really loved it until I was there. Rhythmia. I literally paced 20 miles. You ask anybody that was down there. They were like, I was just out there doing that.

Where was Yuri at this point? Was she watching you?

Like, oh, she was in bed.

She was in bed?

Yeah, she was in bed. I brought her out there once, and then some of the. Some of the. Some of the facilitators were like, are you guys together? You guys are supposed to be holding hands. And I just wanted to her to experience that groundedness. But again, I was. I was putting my medicine on her, and she got a taste of it. But that was all.

You know, There was definitely a moment, though, where. Where you came together and something new came in. You came together at Rythmia. Like you'd never come together before.

Yeah.

There was something there that bonded you.

Well, I think having sex, I mean, so we got there on a Saturday. We probably had sex that first night because we're not living together. Right. Even to this day. We both still have our own house. Us. We're moving back together soon, but we weren't living together. And then time constraints, and we hadn't had sex in two years. And I just felt like once I got there, I was just. I was ready to let go of even more stuff. And I felt really comfortable too. I, I don't think that can be overlooked. You know, people write to me about the price and stuff like that. Look, it's going to cost you that much to go down to Peru anyways. You know, it's just going to be less creature comforts. And I like Peru, and I send people down to my friend's place down there still to this day. It has its value. But I just got there and just felt so comfortable. And I was pretty clear that dating women, you know, and I'm so clear on my mission and my passion, my legacy right now, you know, and I don't want to be thinking about sex. And I got off porn recently, which I think has tremendous value as well.

Amen.

And it's, it's still very new. And, and I'm thinking, oh, that had a big play on everything as well. And so this is a beautiful woman. She's a good woman. I mean, how much do you want to go out and look for more stuff? And because of my porn, I think I'm always looking for that perfect spread labia and bubble butt, this curve and that curve and whatever idealistic, you know, shit that I have program. And look, I've been looking at porn since I was 12, man.

13 years old for me, yeah, it's in there, right?

Even though I've cycled off a couple of times. So I'm realizing, oh, you know, this is all. And I was like, this is a good woman. I had sex with a bunch of chicks and it didn't float my boat pretty much. Once you're done with sex, if there is no bond, it's. It's almost over for, for, for, for a man anyhow. And so I'm just like, this is a good woman. She's mother of my children. Children. What do I really need? We study sexual kung fu. We've got enough experience in that that we know how to have fun, right? And, and sexual kung fu is a practice. So now I get, oh, I got a partner.

We can practice sexual kung fu different than tantra. I mean, it's the same, same type of thing, okay?

You know, seminal retention, channeling the energy, you know, so, so building up of the muscles down there. And so I was just like, you know, I did the math and I. And I'm just like, you know it, dude. And, and then you talk about commitment and devotion. That was another thing that came up for me, you know, at what level am I truly showing up energetically if my mind's still in some other chick's bubble butt. Right. Or, or fantasizing about that, you know, how much am I really, you know, committed? What level of. Of fine tuning can I do? And so, so all that, all that came up and then. So again, we had the set sex, then we did the breath work the next night. And then when we started drinking medicine, we weren't having sex. I mean, it was pretty integrative, you know, Exhaustion.

Yeah.

Late nights. So. But after that, I just realized after the medicine, we don't need to talk about anything. You know, we might have to figure out how we're going to move in back together, but let's just settle in with just the feeling and the energy. And then that video we made, you know, that was all from the heart. And we have a greater understanding because it's not that the shadow doesn't exist and it can't rear its ugly head again, but what are you going to do when it does? You know, where's your inventory? You're going to take your inventory. You're going to take someone else's inventory? So, so we're in that place right now, so. Good. She knows if she's getting heated, she's got to look within first.

Yeah.

You know, take responsibility for, for her ideology or ideas or whatever.

Do you think that. Well, what's your sense? What's your knowing about? Would you have gotten the experience you had, the healing with Yuri if you hadn't gone to Rhythmia? Do you think that was a culminating factor? Do you think that was the bridge?

I wouldn't have gotten back with her unless there was some dramatic medicine time. We tried the, the, the, the therapists. And we got good therapists in our camp, too. Um, we tried the therapist. The therapist didn't work. You know, she fired every therapist that was in her way. So I think, I think medicine for.

Me.

Was the only way to get clear. Because words are great. But again, like I said, when I got there, I was ready to put shit on a legal pad and like whiteboard it and all that stuff. All that went out the window.

I love your heart, bro. I love, I love how you explain, like, I was going to go fix love's problem with the mind. I was going to use the mind to fix love's problem. And I just feel like yesterday I had a woman who was sitting right here across this table and she was like, you know, she was a human design expert in human design. You know, I don't know if you know your human design.

Yeah, I'm a manifesto generator.

Manifesto generator. Me too. And so there's certain ways that the body can speak that have nothing to do with the mind's comprehension. Like, your body knows so many things. And your body, it feels like to me, I'm curious how you, you, you feel on this. Feels like your body and Yuri's body already knew. Before you went to Rhythmia, before you drank the medicine, your body's already knew. It was just the mind had to be convinced. The mind had to actually go, oh, and recognize what your body was feeling.

Yeah, totally true. You're saying. But there was still part of my mind that was like, all right, let's get some kind of agreement here. You know, the honeymoon period is always cute.

Yeah.

But after that, we got to dance with the shadow, so. And I want to make sure it's on paper, make sure that you're towing your weight. And all that shit went out the window as soon as the medicine came in and we reunified ourselves.

So now here you are, dude, you're back. You're back in la and you've received all these downloads and lessons in healing. The medicine works, people. The medicine works. And so what's the medicine that you're bringing back, Troy, to the people? What medicine are you bringing back now? Is it different than when you left?

That's a good question. So 2006 was, you know, my big medicine journey, awakening in the Amazon. And those messages, the three visions I had were. Vision of my daughter came to me a feminine, spiritual entity. And I wasn't married at the time. Came home, interviewed everybody, people like, I'm not interested in getting married. And that's how I found Yuri. And we fell in love. And I actually married her for green card initially. But she was such a nice, friendly. I really loved her personality. And then we fell in love. And so. And I don't believe in marriage because my. Both my parents were divorced twice. So I'm like, it's just paperwork. But I have no problem doing it for paperwork. Right. If it's gonna, if it's gonna serve me and it's legal, you know, I got no problem with it. So that's my little philosophical dance around that. And so. And again, I still think, think that also there was a level of one foot in, one foot out for me. And the porn and all that stuff is layered.

Yes.

So.

So we're gonna be doing so much work on porn in the future.

So when I did Yahe and I got married on Yahe, right. There was a higher level of responsibility and there was a coming correct with myself that almost had no words. It was just. However I was showing up. And a lot of the healing that was done on yahe night, on the last night. And remember, we were up for 13, 14 hours, right? And. And everybody else got their healing, so I got my healing and the wedding ceremony at the same time. And he was hitting me with that chicapa, those leaves right in the heart, man. I was bawling, bro. I got it on camera. I was bawling. And most of that emotional release was forgiveness of my fucking self. It was so fucking powerful. And because you think, oh, yeah, you know, that's a little selfish, Troy, forgiveness for yourself or whatever. But the fact of the matter is, is the energetic that I come at with the unforgiveness inside of myself is so discordant, right? It's an energetic discord. And so I just really had. And again, that's probably merging with the soul and just letting the, you know, healing the inner child. Everything's okay, man. Just let it out, man. Let go of that. Don't carry this around with you. And so, so that. That happened inside that ceremony, and you can't really put words on that. And we got married. There was a ceremonial aspect. They tied this tapestry around our arms. We were there for half an hour. We were getting preyed upon. We were getting sung to. We were getting, you know, the copal was coming through, the floral water was being blown all over us. I mean, it was a full blown shamanic healing. And. And I was balling for 30 minutes and my wife was like, dude, hold it together.

You know, I mean, we're at our second wedding.

I mean, energetically, she was like, oh, this is beautiful. But yeah, I think on the physical realm, she was like, all right, hold it together, buddy. Yeah. And so. But it was so therapeutic. Therapeutic. You know, it's just like lifetimes of just. Just stuff carrying on my chest, you know, carrying on your back that burden, that cross that we bear, that we carry with us. And it's so low level unconsciousness that it's. That it's in us and it affects our decision making and our come from when we talk to people. And it was all dissolved and a ceremony of ineffable magic, you know, energetic, unseen, you know, magic. And there was so much stuff that happens. Like, I don't even have to think about it, question it. I know that part of the integration process for a lot of medicine people and a lot of the clients I coach, you know, they want to hold on to the ID idea When they were in ceremony, what was that feeling again? Sure. And so for me, there's, like, none of that. Whatever healing happened. It's in my template. I'm completely cool with it. I trust that it's there. I don't have to go back and search for it. I don't have to have meetings with my wife. Like, oh, well, you know, I'm feeling a little bit this way and that way. And, you know, we work stuff out right in the moment. Things are happening right in the moment it's happening with her is where she used to get stuck. Hey, we need to talk about this. Or things that used to trigger me. So between the purging of my soul and this big healing of my relationship, the things that she's brought up to me in the last week or so of, hey, Troy, you need to look at this. Or this is some reflection that's coming back. Or what are we going to do with this? Either it's a business venture or this person's out of line. Or I need a correction here. Or you need to look at your behavior. Children have this. Any of it. It's like, give me the input. All right. How does that sit? All right. All right. What's the best solution for it? Do I need to look at myself? Myself? Do I need to make a decision here? So it's. It's much more. It's much more clean and crisp and I'm not triggered.

Yeah.

Where most of my. All of my life, I've just simply been triggered.

So it's almost like your ability to handle stress, like an input of stress has been raised. Your ability to handle stress completely.

Yeah, completely. Because I'm a pretty grounded person as long as I'm nourished and I'm rested and all that stuff, but set me off in the wrong way. And part of the reason why I do all my certified health nut practices anyways is just to make sure that I'm not an asshole. Right. Make sure that I'm fed, make sure that I've taken a shit. How about that? I'm not a pretty person when I don't take a shit. Right. So. And a lot of my digestive issues, my 30 years of practice has really been all about make me being able to take a shit, not feel bloated and not feel all uptight and so. But I still had those triggers and anger, and now I definitely feel it's lessened. I mean, the proof's only in the pudding. Let's talk six months out. Let's talk A year out, you know, where am I now?

Yeah, well, let's talk about that, because there's a way of integration. Like, you're prepared. You're prepared. You've been through ceremonies quite a bit. This one was profound and special because of the blessing and the healing and like you said, man, which. Which really gave me a chill feeling, and that was forgiveness. Forgiveness is this beautiful medicine for all of.

Of us.

How are you going to integrate the forgiveness now for the rest of 2020, by the way? 2020 is coming up a new. A new decade. How are you integrating forgiveness in. In 2020? And. And from the ceremony, all is forgiven.

Josh, period, forever, infinitum. And if I forget, fucking remind me. I mean, that's. That's all I can say. I mean, I don't want to come on my high horse. And I arrived and, you know, I'm enlightened now and I don't know when hits the fan, but for right now, that I just feel all is forgiven. And you know what? You know, one of my business partners got on me today and screeched at me. And I used to be an angry guy, so I know where that's coming from. So I forgave him in the moment, took a deep breath, normal old triggered. Me would be like me, you. You know, and so in the moment, I was just like, all right, this guy's angry and he's got some deep seated and there's a lot of going on. Right. Let me not react, let me listen and let me get back on the phone. That's who I was on the phone with when I. When I pulled up here and tried to get off the phone. But, you know, it was ongoing. So all. All is forgiven. Even if things don't work out in business or relationship, things are still for forgiven.

Yeah.

You know, peace. Peace and love, you know.

Thank you for sharing this story, man, because I had been looking forward to it for a while, and I wanted to call you right when you got back and be like, troy, tell me everything. But I respect it. I was like, give him his space, you know, And I knew we were going to do this. And there's been multiple times in our conversation that I've had that. That cry feeling. And that cry feeling is really connected to love. It's connected to gratitude. All the things that the mind wants to compartmentalize and be like, oh, yeah, that's this, it's that.

Right.

It can't really be described. You have to.

That's correct.

So if people are looking for Healing, they can find it in many different places.

Yes.

Like ayahuasca may not be for everyone. Breath work may not be for everyone.

But I would say breath work is.

I would say breath work is because we all 99.999% of people, and even.

If they can't, and everyone's got DMT.

Receptors, even if they can't breathe that well, they can get coached into breathing. So that's true. But when it comes to healing, you know, and healing and wellness too, this is a question that I ask every guest. And with your healing, especially with the healing that you've been through recently, how would you define wellness now? Like, what's your definition of living life? Well, what's your definition of wellness?

Being peaceful and balanced in the moment. And sometimes you go out of balance and I think the pendulum swings both ways. So if you got absolute wellness and absolute debauchery on the other end, you might want to keep it balanced because if the pendulum's pegged on the other level, the potential for it to go to complete debauchery is there. So as much as we can walk the razor's edge, hey, look, I live in the city, we got 5G, we've got industrial waste, we've got, I don't know, 10 million cars on the road. And you can see the fine line of smog out there on the horizon. So, you know, we're, we have to deal with not being, well, elements in our society and still be able to, you know, move forward. So walk the razor's edge and do the best you can, can. But my book's coming out soon and there's nine foundation pillars in there and they're immutable elements. They're like in physics, they call it first principles. You know, they're basics. And all the martial arts masters have, you know, taught replication of the basics. So fundamental things, immutable things that people really can't argue with. Hydration, nutrition, sleep, movement, you know, nature, relationships, these things can't be ignored. And, and I think when you, you nourish those foundation principles on a regular, constant basis, best you can, you're going to have some form of wellness.

It's purpose in there. Purpose and meaning.

Legacy.

That's one of them.

Yeah, yeah.

This is what I've been feeling into too. And I love the way you said that. It's being peaceful and it's being here in the moment. Like that is a lifelong learning skill because there's going to be so many things that rip us out of the moment. And so it's really nourishing oneself is what I heard from you. Nourishing oneself and the ways that people nourish themselves in this world is so different than the world that happened for our parents and our grandparents. So, Troy, thank you, man, for the healing you've done for the man that you are, for the way that you serve our world, for what you do in wellness and just for everything, man. Thanks for being Troy Casey and thanks for coming on the show.

Thank you, Josh. I appreciate you and I just want to give a blast out ripped at 50 a journey. Ripped at 50 a journey to self love. Troy is right. Coming out. Yes. Is coming out very soon, or maybe even when this podcast, so we're going to pre launch it first. I've got my new breathwork course that's coming out. It's doing amazing, people. The response is incredible. My YouTube channel's really kicking butt right now and so is my Instagram. And so I encourage everyone to connect and come out to a man tribe or any one of my events. Qigong in the park or we do private retreats here in Santa Monica for individuals and also for groups of businessmen as well. So holler at your boy if you need any. Holler at Troy.

What's your ig?

Certified health nut.

Certified health nut. You guys, thank you for being here with us on the show. And I know we took some twists and turns, but you know, if you could have been here while you were here with us and felt Troy's presence and the way that he described his journey, you know, this journey of healing and wellness, man, it just, it just lights me up in a special place. So thank you for spending time with us and just take a moment to reflect on where you're balanced and where you're not balanced in your life and just do the good work. You were all supported, well, forgiven as Troy reminded us. So until we see you again, I'm wishing you love and wellness.

Yeah, baby.

Hey, thanks for listening to the show, my friend. Everything you learned on this podcast starts with your morning practices. So from over 300 world class guests, we pulled together six simple yet powerful morning practices down into a 21 minute system guaranteed to increase your vibration and the way that you feel every day. Get this free, powerful guide over@wellnessforce.com M21 and if you love this show, share it with somebody. Share it with somebody that you love or that you care about. You can support the show easily by leaving us a five star review on iTunes. Just go to wellnessforce.com review or if you're on your phone, just tap it. Hit the link in purple that says, review this podcast. And the journey does not stop here. We're continuing this discovering process in our private Facebook group over@wellnessforce.com group. You can be a part of it. You already are. All you have to do is join us@wellnessforce.com group and I will welcome you at the door. Now go out into your life and live your life well. And until I see you again real soon, I'm wishing you love and wellness.