Aleks Rybchinskiy | How To Live Life As A Powerful Creator | Wellness Force #Podcast

That's what I think happens when we've gone through enough pain, is we just. We just simply say no. I'm tired of lack. I'm tired of pain. I'm just. It's not what I want to experience anymore. And then that gets tested. And that's where I think real men are forged right there.

Sam foreign.

Welcome to Wellness Force, man.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you for having me in your home. I got the pleasure of being a part of your wedding and it's been so awesome to become your friend.

Thank you.

It's been so powerful and so up leveling for me in so many ways.

Yeah.

You've been in this work for so long, 10 plus years. And it's actually like probably one of the most exciting times in my life. Cause I've never had so much friendship and coaching and emotional sharing with someone. So. Just so stoked that you're on the show, man. What is top of heart for you right now in your life? We're gonna explore a lot of things around masculinity, around what it means to be a great man, a good man. But what's on the top of your heart today? 2020 with everything in the world. What's that voice for you today?

Going back to family time. So the chaos that ensued moving here was. It's been about 18 months of chaos with finding the house, getting pre qualified, getting the loan through, moving all of our stuff in. We moved in a day. And so getting all that stuff in part of the condition where Sarah's like, I don't want to move. So I'm like, all right, I'll move us in. And so I moved us in. Then we had to sell our other house. Then I had to go rebuild pretty much a lot of the stuff. Take care a lot of the landscaping in the the innards and make that house ready. And then build this gym, which was its own chaos. And then so then we couldn't work really to our fullest potential until this gym was built. So it was like this was the main focus. And then the wedding that we scheduled three times. And so now that the wedding's done, I'm like, huh? I can pay attention to work and family.

Yeah.

And that's it. And the other stuff is not time essential, like the garden and bees and animals and trimming trees, they're not essential anymore. Unless the trees are, you know, needing help. Then I'll go trim them. But it's not like I need to trim them and then move the, the stuff right away. The limbs, right away, it just sits there and it's fine. So that's at the top of my heart right now, is getting grounded again, getting back into a. A routine, a rhythm, and spending more time with family because it's been, you know, I know they've been fine. Nice little transition for them. So I'm not just always hanging out with them. So they kind of. Kind of got a taste of what that feels like. While I was a madman.

You. You seem to be someone that can handle a lot of responsibility, and I'm going to step into responsibility because I'm going to be a father. So there's so much to explore around being a father of your work, being a father of your family, your children, being a father of your health. Like, this concept of fatherhood, I think it's never been through such the ringer as it has been in the past 10, maybe 15, 20 years. How would you even describe fatherhood? Like, what does fatherhood even mean to you?

Fatherhood means mostly simplistically, just being there and showing up, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally guiding them spiritually. Because, I mean, their belief systems are going to impact them the rest of their lives. And just the way they see the world is through their belief system. So it's making sure I don't project my own nonsense onto them, which takes a lot of work moment by moment. And it's, you know, people ask me, when do I have time to meditate? And I'm like, I'm meditating right now. Yeah, I'm careful what I say. I'm careful with the way my face looks. I'm careful with the way I approach and ask questions and say things and give advice to the point where I ask them what they're needing all the time. And I'm sure it's to some degree annoying, but at the same time, they change so quickly, especially the. The girls and that, you know, they're really appreciating it. And they're asking me now, like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. Because I have what I call resting Russian face. And so it's just very stoic all the time. And they can't tell if I'm mad, I'm happy, I'm upset or frustrated. And most of the time I'm just thinking. I'm just ruminating on something.

Yes. Yeah. The.

The.

When I think of the term fatherhood, there is both joy and love and then wounding and dark shadow. Because to be a father in the old school movies was like Gary Cooper, John Wayne, the strong, silent type. They had their own resting Russian. And I look at the way you navigate your space, the beautiful space you've created, and I felt this ever since we got connected through a mentor. Paul and I feel into the grounds here and being at your wedding. And I just have to ask you, like, this term of fatherhood. I want to go back to it again, man, because you seem to have a bit of mastery in this area. And one of the things I love doing on this podcast is connecting the dots between what, what intelligence is and what intelligence actually is when you be it. You know, it's one thing to read it. It's totally different to embody it. So looking back on your life, you know, and everything that you hold now, how is that term being a father and fatherhood really changed for you? Does it mean the same? Does it mean anything different? Like, what's, what's the essence of fatherhood?

The intensity increased since fatherhood, but mostly I've really cared about nature my whole life. And so connecting with nature. And the funny thing about nature is it doesn't want anything in return. But your kids do, right? Until they get old enough to. And full enough to not need anything. And you're just able to be there and have it be an independent relationship instead of a constant codependent relationship. But my practice, how it's changed is I am nature at this point where I give without asking for anything in return. And, you know, when you read all the mystical traditions, it's about love and growing to unconditional love. That's what everyone's trying to go for, but then not seeing where their conditions lie, you know, you know, I'll love you as long as you follow my career path or go to this school or treat me a certain way. And, you know, that's not love. That's still loving with conditions. And then depending how you react to their conditional responses to your love, or lack of it is, determines the next layer of love. You. You know, that you're participating in. And so the intensity really increased. And most of the time, it's just a responsibility, especially with the sacred work that, you know, I. I do, and I've committed to. It's just holding space constantly. And what goes through my mind is, have I mastered what I'm feeling? How do I approach the world, how I relate to the world, how I connect to the world? And if the answer is no, then I just keep trying because that's my ultimate goal. Like, that's why I like health. It's there's mastery, but it can never be mastered.

Yeah.

Because it always changes. Yeah. Like, same thing with Jiu Jitsu. They've been practicing it for, I don't know, hundreds of years, thousands of years of some sort of grappling, and people are still coming up with new ways to explore how bodies fit together in order to achieve a certain result. And musical instruments. And I played piano and, you know, the clarinet growing up and switched to guitar recently and just enjoying playing within with the landscapes of things. Just like I enjoy altering the landscape of, of the property and, and seeing how, you know, you relate to nature. And they are nature. You know, people just think that your kids are like, oh, they're your kids. It's like, no, they're their own separate entities that you're in charge of until, you know, and hopefully you're guiding them properly so they can relate to the world and then contribute to the world and feel happiness and joy and know how to process their anger and sadness. And really, it's taken a hard look at myself to know where do I need help in myself? So that way I can show them how it's done. Because kids don't listen to what you say. They watch what you do and then.

Do that and they even deeper, more deeper, feel your energy. Like what. What you've embodied. Whatever lessons actually live inside of you. And what I've always felt from you. And, you know, I did a dream statement with you. I did a Core values. I did a few sessions with you, which is why I'm so stoked to share you with the world, man, because you're so good at what you do. And it's not just about space holding. Like, space holding is one element within everything that someone says. I'm always feeling that their voice box is attached to the water in their body and to their sou and to all the work that has come before that moment when they're actually speaking to me. Like, in other words, you only can feel someone, really, the depth of what they've been through when they speak, their presence. And you've been through a lot. Like, I can tell you've been through quite a bit. And I'm curious, like, for your father and your, your male figure in your life, like, how did that impact you and how does that still give you lessons to learn from as a father now?

Well, we moved here from Ukraine and when I was about four and a half, and immediately he was working and just the culture of Ukrainians in general, it's like the kids do their kid thing, and then the adults provide for the kids. But it's different here because you just don't get a. A communist stipend. And then you go and do it. You just do your job, come home, and, you know, you get your paid at the end of the day here, it's. The more you work, the more you make, and so the more you get paid and the more you work, the more you get paid. And it's just. It just keeps moving up that. In that direction. And so my parents wanted to give me a good life, but with the trade off of never being there. And so, you know, I think Sarah calls it being a latchkey kid. So I'd. You know, by the time I was 8, I was already walking to school, taking the dog out, feeding the dog, coming home, you know, entertaining myself, going outside, getting exercise on my bike. I wasn't thinking about it in those terms. You know, just like, I'm gonna go ride my bike. But I was thinking, oh, I'm gonna get out there and ride my bike and mingle with the kids around the. Around the neighborhood. We live in a cul de sac. And then they'll get home around six, seven, sometimes eight. And then food would be on the table. Cool. I'm eating. You know, sometimes it's dark outside. So it created a lot of sadness because I realized I was needing something. And the gift from that is I turned into myself and into my. My. My brain. And I didn't have anyone telling me what to think or how to think except what I call shotgun parenting. When I did something wrong and they come in and just like, bah. Yell yes. And then you got to do things different. And then I'm like, okay, but you don't know the full story. And then they're tired, and then. But now I'm like, I get it. So the part of me healed that when I. When I became a father, and then actually during having to step away from Ari and then go, I got to put food on the table or else we're going to starve. I'm not at the place where I can just, like, hang back for, yeah, hours a day. And I. After working a lot and finally I realized I was like, I see what my dad went through. And then that part of me was like, okay, I appreciate that. Time to let that go. Time to let that anger that if you're not around, you don't deserve to see me succeed. You know, that childish. Like, I won't dance in front of you. I won't Play sports. Well, in front of you, you know, or anything. And then I realized I'm only hurting myself. And they worked. Their true intention was to literally give me a better home and provide anything that I needed, which is the, you know, the European mindset of, like, well, if we can move, we're gonna give you the best that we have. And then realizing that they literally bought me anything I wanted with some space, I'm like, I want a bike. Well, a couple months going by, I got a bike, you know, I want a Super Nintendo. A couple months go by, I got a Super Nintendo. So they're like sacrificing for me. And I didn't realize it because in my head. Well, back up. I died when I was three and a half, so they will do anything to keep me alive.

Wait, what do you mean you died when you were three and a half?

So in Ukraine, before we moved, I. I had laryngitis. My throat swell up. My lymph. Lymph nodes swell up. They blocked my airways. I flatlined on a hospital table. I was blue. I don't know, over. Over several minutes. And. And then I had a tracheotomy. They gave me a tracheotomy. And so, you know, can you imagine as a parent and driving up or pulling up, first of all, whenever you go, when you're in the hospital and your kid goes into the er, they send the parents home. They're not even allowed to be at the hospital, so then going, okay, well, he's. They're just going to, you know, resuscitate him and he's going to be fine. And then come back and I had this tracheotomy and this talking like a robot at three years old, you know, and so hearing stories about how, like, my dad couldn't even. Couldn't even get himself to stop crying to come see me. And, you know, my mom would just put on a brave face and color and read me books and. And it was. They just try to keep me alive from that moment on, which means taking me away from doing things that was fun, right? And so by that time, I was 14 years old. They didn't want. They wouldn't put me in, like, peewee football. So I just said, you know, I'm going to do football and I'm gonna ride my bike off 20 foot jumps and I'm gonna drive my car really fast and I'm gonna experience, you know, that adrenaline that I miss from, you know, that. It was weird. I don't know why I missed it, but I Missed it.

What I get from you, there's almost like this vacuum where. I didn't know that. I think you might have mentioned that to me. But, but to have that kind of a trauma early on, you know, 0 through 7, the hemispheres are connected so you're essentially in like theta state all day long. You know, you're on drugs. It's like a psychedelic state to be a child. So in that state, for you to have had that happen. God, that, that created the vacuum in a way to, to help you do what you do now, man. And for people that don't know, I mean you've had probably the most highest level of training in the Czech system that there is. And you're going to be faculty I think next year, the following year. So if people are just meeting you right now with that vacuum, that epic vacuum that you went through, which obviously was heart wrenching and gut wrenching and so challenging for so many reasons. Share with people like what you do. You know, what, what is Alex Rybczynski all about?

I have a hard time explaining it simply because there's so much that we do. Like when you look around the gym, we do rehabilitation, prehabilitation, we do performance, we teach mechanics. And I, if someone doesn't have the right mechanics, we get them on a, on a massage table and restore their biomechanical function. We do organ work, intra nasal work, release the eyes, mobilize and reset atlases. I mean we really go through and I can. Anything that's out of place, I can put back in its place. And then once the function restores, then also restoring the movement, creating facilitation of those muscles that need to work what's been turned off and turned on and you know, too long and so you got to turn that one off or you know, mirror the, the neural excitement, how much nervous system activity is going to each side. And then once the movements are good, then we, that's just. Then we can progress up depending on what they're needing. If you know, they're just, you know, like a dad and want to just play with their kids, that's one level. And if you're a professional athlete, that's another level. But I. To somewhat treat everyone the same.

You always start with the physical.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because how so why do you do that?

Because the physical tends to go back into its original place. And so I want to see what the blueprint of the person is before I get them and search, start moving stuff. Because if I release a quad and then I Never measure your pelvis. So I'm thinking, well, great. You know, the quad is lengthened and you have more range of motion, but did that actually move your pelvis? Did your pelvis just move or did the muscle actually re. Increase its length? And how is that in its relationship to the other side? And then. So, okay, well, that happened. Did that mess with the shoulder? But I don't know if I've never assessed. So I can only just go, oh, that's different now. And then. So then when they leave and come back, I can go, oh, they tightened up again. Well, let's see if it tightened up based on your pattern or is it releasing and your body is restoring itself to normal. Because sometimes people fall into the other direction. And then I can go, okay, that's actually kind of normal. And then. So when they start moving their bodies, it starts to bring it back into balance. But if you don't know where they started, it's going to be very hard to find out what you've done that's helped. And so many times, if you create a movement pattern two to three years, if it's bad two to three years, you start seeing the repercussions of that. So, like, if you. If you go to a personal trainer and they're just like, you know, hey, Josh, we're gonna go work out. And then you just start working out.

Yeah.

Without doing any kind of assessments. And then train bad movement patterns and facilitate bad movement patterns into you or faulty movement patterns, then in two years, you may just say, oh, I get this knee ache. And I don't understand what that. What. Why that's coming from. Well, you could have a faulty wiring sequence. Like, your muscles are wiring different. Most people, let's say even when they lunge, they can look like they have a good lunge, but the firing sequences are off, and they can still have knee pain. And that's why this whole thing about, like, can't do knees over the toes and which. How do you tell a sprinter not go knee over toe? How do you tell a running back to knock over knee over toe? How do you get a volleyball player not going to knee over toe? Or Olympic weightlifter? You know, there's so many sports that you have to go knee over toe. And. But it's because there's other things not doing their job that haven't been addressed because they're like, well, this person's already beast. Let's just keep training to be a beast. But that's just like upgrading the engine of your car. Without upgrading the chassis and the drivetrain, you just hit that, the gas pedal and the torque of the engine is going to rip that drivetrain apart. And then. Oh, what happened?

You always start with the physical because it seems like. And maybe there's reciprocity. It seems like within the physical, the emotion is manifested.

Right.

Like, and then maybe it could be both ways. Like, maybe the physical can create emotions as well, but it seems like they're deeply interconnected for a reason. So that's why I was wondering, like, you know, because when you and I did work together, like, we didn't go into the physical at all. It was just purely like, hey, what's your dream? What do you stand for? Let's get clear on that. So there's so many things that you do. I guess it is kind of hard for you to say it in a sentence or two. So I know that you're a body work professional and a movement professional and really, like, health, Wellness, holistic health professional. But I think what people misconstrue. I mean, we're here in your gym, they're seeing weights. Is they might look at you, or they might look at you working with a client, and they'll probably miss out on your emotional intelligence and your emotional aptitude. Like, can you expound upon that a little bit? And then I'd love to share what you helped me through as well.

Yeah. So I wanted to maybe add a different word instead of manifest, what about it expresses itself into the physical? The emotions, the mentals. Yes, because they really start outside of ourselves. And we're just like. Our brains are just like an antenna. Right. And we're receiving different things.

Like, it's like a meat radio. Our brain is a meat radio.

I mean, they're all the thoughts are always around there. But, like, jazz music is always around, but it's not until you turn that on to, like, 97.9, whatever the jazz station is. And then you hear jazz, but it never left the air. It's always there, you know, and so when you have these thoughts, they turn into emotions and they turn into a physical expression of itself. So I need to see from both aspects because it's easier also to get someone just to stand there for four hours and while I poke and prod and measure things, than it is to go, you know, right from the start, hey, nice to meet you, Josh. Tell me about your dad. Intimately. And so we start where it's the easiest.

Yes.

And then you can have a whole thing that's like, someone can come in and say, oh, this was my memory of it. And then six months later realize that was a memory they fabricated to feel safe when that's not even the case. And then you're like, oh, okay, well throw that out the window. But let's see how that affects the physical body, because this is your barometer. You know, as long as your physical body keeps getting better, most of the time people lose 30, 40 pounds. As we work through the emotional and mental work. And we start by figuring out what the dream, what's the motivation behind your life and the true motivation. So I just play the mirror because I don't want to tell you what to think, but I'm grounded enough in myself to know, okay, well I'm not gonna feed them answers, but I'm gonna, I wanna see all the different paths and sometimes I'll even throw the wrong ones out there to see if you'll agree with them, to see where you are going. And it's their responsibility to figure out, oh no, that, that's, that's. I don't want to do that, you know, or that seems great. Yeah, yeah, I didn't even think about doing that, you know, and then, so then you figure out what is your main purpose in life and what are you destined and what do you.

Which is quite the process by the way, for everyone with us. Like he's saying that quickly, like we're talking like three four hour sessions of like starting with a thousand words and then bringing it down to 20. Yeah, I mean it's like the soul journey, the soul gut wrenching journey. It's beautiful, it's powerful, but, but it's confronting. A lot of this work is confronting because like you had said, you know, all the thoughts like jazz music are around us. Maybe it's manifest, maybe it's whatever else you mentioned. All the thoughts and all the breaths have already been taken. We're just recycling them. Everything's recycled. So within you and the way that you work with me and with, with other people, there's this beautiful blending man of physical, mental, spiritual, emotional. But it just, it really, it really taught me right now in real time, like it's so powerful that you start with the physical. Because assessing someone's physicality, like if their shoulders are forward, if they're kyphotic, if they're not breathing properly, if they're carrying extra weight, like those are all clues, right? This is all part of your assessment. How long does it take for you when someone wants to do a full training with you? How long is that Assessment process of all those quadrants?

Well, just the assessments. Physical assessments. I blocked the whole day takes like four to eight hours sometimes, depending on the extent of the assessments. Some people, like, for example, just have to do a certain thing. And let's say we might stop at atlas. And so because I know that whatever their pain is happening in their back, I'm like, well, if we don't address this, everything else is going to change. So I'll move past certain assessments that they clear, and I go, okay, I understand that this is coming from somewhere else. And so that's why using discernment, I can go, okay, well, I think the fastest I did a full assessment is like three and a half hours. And that's usually the extent, usually the fastest it could take. And then as you start progressing up, it takes longer and longer because you're doing more and more tests. I mean, there's probably like over 200 assessments that I run through.

Yes.

Starting with the breath, starting with your. Going to your teeth, going to your neck, and then we go to your shoulders, and then we move to the spine, then the pelvis, then the legs. And then. And then it's taking all of their paperwork, which is like about close to 200 pages of paperwork that they filled out. And then assessing that, which. And then figuring out what's their process of the.

Of.

Of their coaching. What do we need to address first? And what is the. The biggest hole? Like, if you picture your boat sinking and you. What's the biggest hole? Yeah, because we only have so much fabric right now to, you know, or some corks to fit to fix these holes right now.

I love these analogies. Analogies are the best.

And figuring out, like, okay, if we address this, all these are little pin needles. And if we. Most people come in with this big, gaping hole that they've cut themselves, Right?

Yeah.

And so if we plug that hole, the whole function of the body starts to work a lot better.

Everything lives in these quadrants, Right. So we have our mind, we have our body, we have the spirit, and we have our emotional. And so these things are so dramatically important, yet I find that so many people, like, they just focus on the physical. And that's why I've been, like, I was a trainer for 10 years. And so when I hear you talk about going to the physical first, I'm like, okay, that makes sense to my logical mind. But then with everything I've learned, I'm like, okay, how do we actually explore the other parts that, quite frankly, when we focus just on the physical, like, they don't ever get healed. So there's these gaping holes you mentioned in the physical that you fixed. And then after we go through that, man, I'd love to explore the other ones, but talk more about the gaping holes.

Well, the gaping holes are either in the physical, but in the mental, emotional too. So we look at what's happening in their whole system. What are their belief systems, what are their parents believe? What. What was their childhood like? I mean, what was. What do they eat, what. How do they sleep, what kind of water they drink, quality and how much of it? I mean, it goes really in depth. So once they turn in that 200 pages of paperwork, that is when we start looking at where the gaping holes in their. In their system. And it could be like they. They're eating terribly, and sometimes it could be their anger. And then. So then we go, okay, well, anger lines up, and then anger shows up in the liver because every, every organ in the body has a physical, mental, and emotional processing that it needs to go through. So, for example, the liver will process all the toxicity in your body, but also the anger or joy that flows through it. So whenever you have anger flowing through you, your liver is the organ that processes it. And then. So that could show up as shoulder problems. And so that's why I start going, okay, well, here's what's happening in the physical, and how does that relate to what's happening in their emotions? What's happening in their thoughts? What are they thinking about all the time? Some people just have angry thoughts all.

The time, and they attach to them consistently.

Yeah. And. But they show up and they're like.

Yeah, just.

Just smile cheek to cheek. And, you know, when. When you. You've been a person that's been angry your whole life, you can see right through it. You know, I remember. I remember sitting. Sitting with Sarah's family, and my parents were in town and they were showing off, you know, me playing football and just like running through people. And she, you know, they were like, I didn't know you were this. You know, I didn't think you're. You're so calm.

How.

How do you participate in these things? I was like, well, it took a lot of violence to figure out how to be this calm and having that balance of chaos and then getting into that, healing from that and finding out, why am I really getting into these behaviors that's causing almost masochistic tendencies. Why am I just taking it out on myself and then in turns, other people? Why do I enjoy in Certain safe environments like football, just absolutely demolishing people. And after a while, the pain goes away. And, I mean, I used to be 240 pounds of just, like meat and very lean. And then after I started working with the stuff with my. Through my dad and that, that pain and the anger of them not being there for me, I just. There was a while there where I just lost motivation to exercise and. And beat myself up.

How old were you then?

24.

Yeah.

And then I was like, you know what? I'm okay. I don't need armor anymore. I'm. I'm. I'm ready to. To participate in letting go.

This is when you were already a few years into the check system, right? I think you started at 19. You told me. Or 20.

I think it was 20 when I started taking my prerequisite courses.

Yes.

And then 21 when I took my first course.

It's so powerful, man, because I wanted to make sure people understood your background. Like, we're Talking about over 10 years of deep dive into all the things that we've spoken about, you know, our physical body, the way that we connect with spirit. There's each. Each one of these could be multiple podcasts in their own right, but you've done the work, you know, like, you really embody these qualities. And so, you know, the reason I wanted to set that frame before this, this next phase of the conversation is because in order to be a good man, to striving to be a great man, there's so much inner work that has to be done. And yes, of course, the same thing exists for the feminine, for females as well. And by the way, masculine and feminine exists in both genders, right? Equally. Because it's all one. But with that frame of all the things we've spoken about and even your story, you know, the vacuum where you almost died when you were three and a half, and bring you to where you are. This is why I'm so excited to do men's work with you, because I've had my own journey, which I've shared another podcast, and y' all can listen to those podcasts as well, because I really want to spotlight this, this blending that you and I have come to. To create. And it's just this work for men, for the modern world. Like, yes, back in the day, we would sit around the fire and we would go hunting, but it ain't that world anymore. Like, all the qualities that you've already discussed, where we fill the holes and. And we address the wounding, and we understand the physicality and we, we actually have connection with a higher power. Like, these are so important. But when we look at men's work right now, 20, 20, 2021, I can't think of a more important time for men to actually be grounded in what they believe and to live their purpose. So what do you look when you look across the landscape for like men's work and even that term, men's work, it sometimes can be pretty confusing. Man. What do you see as what people get wrong about men's work right now?

I feel like they just stick to one thing and they go full on and then they get good at one thing. I'll give you an easy crying. So they get good at emotionally releasing when they want to or when they need to and they feel that. But then they still don't show up for their family or the responsibilities at work or, you know, maybe they're not even honest with what they really want to do. And they're like, and then there's so many other aspects to that and to their lives, but they got good at that one thing and that becomes their identity. Oh, I can just release, you know, but then what's, what's, what's the next step? You know, how are you, how are you mentally, how are you emotionally? How are you spiritually strong? How are you physically showing up, you know, for your family or for your job or. And what I'm, what I'm seeing is missing is that key is like, I'm going to get good at one thing instead of being a little bit better in each category every single day and seeing where. Oh, it's almost like I'm trying to, trying to put it into words. It's, it's like showing up to one part of your job but not the rest and ignoring the rest. And then it's like, well, it's always there, it's always participating, it's always real. So if you like, I'll give you an example from my life so I don't stop, so I don't keep ranting and being incomplete, coherent here. If I just focused on the yard and neglected the, the family, that would be a problem. But then I could say, look, look how responsible I'm being with my land. And then be proud of that and turn a blind eye to the fact that I am not being my best in other areas of my life. And so whenever there is disharmony, when people ask me like, how do you, how do you gauge how you're doing with your work? I go, I just look outside of myself. And then if the family is more stable, that means I'm doing something better. And yes, that means they can have their own problems, but it's how they relate to them and how I relate to them and how they relate to me is my report card. And the same thing with the trees and the same thing with my animals, and the same thing with clients and work and everything. And that's my report card is how. How are people relating and how is my environment shaped up? I mean, I'm clearly doing somewhat of a good job because. Yes, you're willing to be my friend.

Yes. Well, and also, look at what you've created. Right. And what was the other term you used to manifest where emotions are in the body? What did you say there?

Express.

Express. Look at what your life's and soul's expression is. I mean, we're sitting in it.

Yeah.

Look at the land you have, and look at all these things you have. And I don't say that to be like, bo. Boastful for you. What I'm saying is that, like, man, you've created a mirror of your dream here, and you're living in the mirror like you're. You're truly living in it. And I think most men, whether you're like or. Or if you're a woman with us right now, and you're. You're with a man who's striving to be the best man he can be. I think we all have, like, these huge aspirations and dreams and things that we want, but. But wanting something and desiring it and actually like, embodying the skills and virtues to achieve it is. Is really what we're talking about. And it's really totally different than just the desire. So once you're clear on the dream, which is what you help me with, and. And honestly why part of why we're sitting here, then comes the real work to embody it. And that's when the universe and God brings in the unique challenges.

Yeah.

So what are. What are some of the challenges that you can share about your own life in this embodiment process to be a great man?

I want to say something first.

Yes.

So most people, they have. When you were talking about how, you know, I've been thinking about. I've been thinking about this place for 10 years. To the detail. To the detail of, okay, well, I want it between this and this. And this is okay. This is not okay. I want this. You know what? But if this happens, and I can do that, so there's just all these parameters like, and then Sarah contributed to that. So we've been thinking about this for. I've been thinking about my own place with my own gym for, like, 10 years now. Sarah's been wanting to do that since we met, and I think maybe even before just having a place where you can train on. And she's really jumped on board with this vision. And what I've been thinking about is things that I need. And so I also want to put out that to your listeners is most people don't know what they need. They know what they want, but they can't discern what they want from their needs. And it's like, do you really need a Lamborghini? First of all, what would you do with it? You would drive it every day? For what? For who? For yourself or for other people? And it's like little things like that. That. Why would. Okay, so let's. Now, do you have that earning potential yet? And if the answer is no, what are you willing to sacrifice to get a Lamborghini? Are you willing to live in the thing? Are you willing to take a mortgage out for your Lamborghini? If we're talking on those terms, and let's get back to what's really important. What do you need and you can't live without. What would happen if we take something out? Would your life be that much better or that much worse? And so, like, for example, I'll give you an easy example, like the sauna. If I wanted a sauna and I didn't have the fifteen hundred dollars to buy a sauna, I would save a hundred dollars a month for 15 months so I can have a sauna. And that's what will be my in. In the moment thing. Yeah, I'm not. It's not going to be right now, but it's going to be put away. And that's where most people kind of miss. And they kind of live in the. The Maya or the illusion of their life, and they're just continuously participating in things that they don't need. But it's for other people, not for themselves.

It's almost like they. A lot of men get caught up in just, like, hedonism, especially in our 20s. It's like, I'm gonna do everything with as many women as possible, and it feels good. And I'm not saying that from judgment because, like, I've definitely walked that path, and I think you probably have too. But I think most men get caught up in not even ever asking themselves that question, which is like, what do I want versus what do I actually need? That is a profound intersection of awareness. And in order to have that type of real knowledge, like, you have to have been dealt some pretty black cards, some pretty hardcore pain, unless you could. Unless you got that modeled by your parents, you know, where maybe they were aware and maybe they had a connection as well. But the challenge is, man, like, I can't think of a more beautiful experience and also a challenging experience than to be a father. You don't have to be a father to go through challenges. I mean, most men go through challenges without children as well. But. But what has been some of the ones in your own life where you've had those unique challenges, and how do those connect to what most men go through as well?

Well, what I've just very shortly realized is in my life, I first realized what I don't want to embody. And so what don't I. What my parents have taught me is what I don't want to do. And I focused on that my whole life. And so now that I've realized and I trimmed the fat of all the things I don't want to participate in, I'm actually seeing now where all the things they do good in. And so now I'm able to be in a place where I can go, okay, well, they're still a little mature in that, but here's where they show me, you know, what a man, an aspect of what a man does, provides for his family, hands down.

And this is the number one is the provide.

Yeah, in. In. It depends on the household. You know, Sarah has a career also. I mean, she works hard and. And she also helps provide. But at the same time, there's no feeling of. And here's the other. Yeah, there's no feeling of like, well, she's providing, and I should be the one doing it. It's like, hey, we're a family. We're a team. And it all goes. It all drips into the same bucket. And it doesn't matter who does what, as long as at the end of the day, you know, our roles do switch again. And since she's the CEO, she has to put a hat on. And so in most times, when she's telling me to do something, I don't see her as Sarah. I see her as like a. Like a boss. And then I'm like, all right, that needs to get done. And. Which took a lot of work.

Yeah.

Yeah, it took a lot of work. Did not throw temper tantrums to not.

Get triggered by a woman telling you what to Do?

Yeah, Especially my wife. Yeah. You know, it's just like, did you.

Have a unique, unique mother wound around that or that was pretty clean?

No, very enabled my mom. After I died, my mom would do everything for me, from homework to projects, to groceries, to cooking, to cleaning my room. I mean, like, I didn't do anything. And then when I moved in with Sarah, Sarah's like, nope, we're gonna change all that.

You had the wake up call. Okay.

And Cassera is very grounded and in purpose and structure. And that was the opposite of what I had. And I was very grounded in play and esoteric, like, thoughts. I would just be. I could just sit and think all day. And Sarah was actually the one that was like, hey, participate or we can't have a relationship. And so because my. Our initial meeting was so strong, I was like, this is not Will. I'm not willing to lose this for. Because I don't want to vacuum or clean. Clean up after myself. Yeah, I'm not willing. And that's all she's asking. She's not asking me to do anything crazy. She's not asking me to, I don't know, jump off a bridge. I would probably do it without her asking me, but. But yeah, she's asked me for simple things and just. I was so used to my mom doing these things for me that it was a whole different mindset then. It was, you know, taking care of stuff. And then there's wounds everywhere. There's wounds. Like, then I would just go have to fix stuff. And then realizing that I never got to fix stuff. I only got to watch my dad fix stuff because he would just, like, take the tool out of my hand instead of have taking the patience to work with me and letting. Because I gotta get. I gotta do something else. And then so he just finish it. So I learned how to observe my whole life. And so every time I'm just watching, watching people clean, I'm watching people fix things. I'm watching how they, you know, play sports. And I'm always watching. And just like everyone else is always watching, even if they're conscious about it or not. I just learned really well from just watching because of my childhood, lots of wounds, not much participation, but I got to observe a lot, man. Moving from Ukraine to here, learning English and just going to school and like, conversing with kids. And I have no conscious memory of how I learned English. I just all of a sudden knew it in a year and a half of being here.

Yep.

And so there's that challenge. So My brain thinks that's a unique one.

Yeah, that's a unique one. So do you also speak in. Fluent in other languages?

Yeah, in Russian.

It's a Russian and English.

Yeah.

And you also speak spirit language, too, because you're able to connect with different intelligences and different awarenesses and different dimensions. And I think about the way that most men are cutting their. Their intelligence right now, where it's like, okay, as long as I'm going to the gym and working out, as long as I'm making like maybe six figures or more, as long as I'm kind of filling in the standard American template, then somehow, we hope, crossing fingers that it'll all be okay. But the nightmare or the happy dream, whichever one we want to create, is that at the end of that road, there's really just. Instead of being told what I should do, what does my soul want to do? And that is, I believe, the most unique challenge and the most unique blessing in this whole journey. And so did that shift for you along the path and becoming a good man on the. On the road to being a great man?

There's a lot of responsibilities that I didn't want to partake in, and the universe showed me that through injuries. So it would be, you know, playing football. And I played semi professionally after high school and then getting beat up, starting my own business. And then one day someone fell on my. Fell on my hand with their face mask. And I was doing body work at that time, and I got up and I had their whole great. Their whole face mask, like black and blue inside of my hand. And I was like, what am I? That it was just clicked. What am I doing? I need my hands. And then that season, I just stopped playing after that. And then little moments of like, you know, I'm gonna try out for this professional arena team. And. And then I would tear ligaments in my ankle doing something like playing basketball. What is happening? So because I'm stubborn and I never learned how to read the breadcrumbs early, I had to go through a lot of injuries for me to realize I'm not supposed to be an athlete. I can be. As long as I don't compete and make it serious, then I can participate. But at any point if I'm like, this is my focus shift. My body will literally injure me doing. Doing nothing. I could be stepping off a curb or lifting, you know, warming up or just doing something basic on a field, and I'll just twist something. I'm like, why? Why is it Until I realize I'M like, okay, I'm not supposed to be a professional athlete, even though I have all the guts and potential to just pick something and be really good at it. And happened with volleyball. I was having fun until I was like, let's get competitive. And then all of a sudden, my body started to fall apart.

The universe is giving you all this breadcrumb trail to be like, hey, you're gonna actually help other people.

Yeah. But it took going through that and getting injured to actually be able to help myself know what to fix and things like that, which I'm. I'm not inviting that my whole body be broken. So I learned how to fix it, because I'm smart enough now to know, okay, I can just study how to fix it and actually fix it on people instead of having to fix myself and, you know, be out for six to eight months, just not moving, not exercising, not playing, not wiggling, whatever I wanted to do. So it was. It was a lifetime of that. Yeah. From. From football to wrestling to volleyball.

And I think these are strategies that we all go through in life. It's like coping strategies where at the bottom of the basement, all we really want is to feel loved and to have purpose. Like, that's really what the. What. That's what satiates our soul.

If we didn't have those experiences, we would always think, what if? And some people are wise enough to go. That's not me. And then they just move. And those people usually have better examples and role models. Unfortunately, you know, my parents are working really hard, and I couldn't have that stable role model. The only thing I knew was how to work and work and work. I still, to this day, know how to work and work and work and work. I mean, if it wasn't for the family and the kids and I wasn't grounded in family, I would probably just be working 12 hours a day.

Yes.

Because I have the capacity to. Let's.

Let's talk to the fathers out there. And. And also, too, like, for people that are maybe aspiring fathers. And in no way is this only, like the myopic lane. Like, this is for everyone, this conversation about being a good man on the way to being a great man. I just. I just have a sense that there's really no way to know oneself if you're not in a committed relationship. And then on another level, if you want to be a steward of another life, like, those two categories alone, they'll make you face your shit pretty quickly because it's not about you anymore. It's about the greater good and what you're shepherding and what you're holding. So there is something really special and unique for the type of men that have that seed in their soul where maybe one day they want to be a father. Can you speak to them about where they begin in that process? I mean, obviously we talked about the mental, the physical, the emotional, the spiritual. That's work for life regardless. But specifically for men that, that one day want to be a father or soon want to be a father. Can you talk to them right now about where they begin in the mastery process?

First, be brave enough to know where you need help. Then you address what you're needing. Once again, goes back to the conversation. What do you really need out of a person? And no one's going to be as honest to you as you are to yourself ultimately, because you can reject other people's honesty, but if you have the awareness to sense what's going on inside of yourself, that's causing chaos. And you can tell because someone's life will be in chaos to some degree. Or like even people that, you know, they get confused with, you know, multi millionaires, they're, they're thinking, oh, their life must be great. But most people like that don't have a solid family life or, you know, they don't talk to their kids or, you know, their, their wife or their partner.

There's some outliers.

Yeah.

Masters. We learn from 100.

Yeah, yeah. But that's like the, the general. Like for example, if someone gave you $100 million right now that you didn't have to work for or worked that hard for, you just got it big. Most people don't have the responsibility and the maturity to handle that much finances, energy.

Really. That's just your pure potential. Yeah, it's almost like unearned wisdom.

I like that.

Here's a hundred million dollars. Yeah. I don't know, Alex. Personally, I'd be like, you know what? Let me immediately learn how to handle that. Yeah, I would say, but continue. Yeah.

And once you realize what you need to work on, figure out what kind of partner you need. What do you need out of a partner? And this could be from same sex or opposite sex relationships. Figure out what you need and what you're needing because you're going to get your mirror to show up to you. And the more honest you are, the faster it'll happen. And so because what will end up happening, it's just like a destination on a map. If you know what you're looking for, it shows Up. But if you're like, I'm looking for a grocery store, and you may not see any, or you may see a gas station that has groceries in it, but if you know exactly what you're looking for, the product, you know exactly how to find it, and you'll go right in, ask for what you need, and then you move on to the next thing if it doesn't have it. And so once you have this detailed map, it's funny because as you're driving through life, you. It'll just. You'll just show up to the destination and you're like, you want to ride this ride with me?

Yes.

And then you move on and then see what happens. And then the next level is, you know, taking care of a child, if this is where they're going or not. Because the work without a child is just as potent if you're ready. But with a child, it's. It's not only just you and it's not only just them. It's about. You're about to depart on a. On a journey that after you die, the being you just created is going to be living on this earth. And I hope they have the tools to be able to deal with it. And how to discern people that smile but are really sad and trying to deceive you and people that are, you know, angry or people that are violent at you and that you have to be able to discern what. What does that mean behind the emotions? And you know, because most of the time if someone's angry, they're not angry at you. It's something about them that they can't process, and then they don't know what to do with it. And just like a child, the child will just turn on and hit someone. Yes. And it's the same thing. People think because you grow up and you mature and you go through puberty, you all of a sudden like. Like a game achievement. You like all of a sudden level up. No, you have the capacity to level up, but you still have to go through the journey to acquire those skills, especially if they weren't modeled to you.

And so even more so if they weren't modeled to you. I mean, that's even the vacuum that nature is trying to fill right there on a grand scale.

Yeah. Yeah.

I can't picture personally a more call to action, call to arms, call to adventure, opportunity, than for somebody to not have been gifted those skills and then to spend their life learning. But in my opinion, man, there isn't a perfect time to bring a life into the world because there's always work to do. I mean, healing is like, not this end game. You know, we are always going to heal. But one thing I love that you said is you were like, hey, now that you're bringing this other person into the world, part of you, part of your emotional intelligence is actually going to be embedded in them. That right there is an immediate mirror for a man to grow. Not from a place of scarcity or lack or fear, but, like, true responsibility. The word that comes up for me around this conversation is ownership. You know, ownership, like, if you own something, you care for it, you tend to it, you spend the time, like, really taking care of it. But ownership and responsibility, they're a little bit different. They feel different at times because responsibility is something that I might do because I have to. But ownership involves a lot more embodiment of pride and of really, like, you know, your. Your soul. When you own something, how. How do you. How do you balance those. Those terms like things you have to do versus things that you own as a father and own as a man?

Well, it's hard to get me to do things that I don't want to do. So I have to frame my mindset, or I choose to frame my mindset around certain things that are needing to get done, like setting up a homestead exemption. I don't want to do that. But if that means in the long term, for the next three years, I have to work less hard because I don't have to monitor my taxes and pay extra taxes because this is a homestead. I'm thinking, well, I can put in the work for that, and that'll save me some time down the road. But there's things like, if someone asks me, here's another thing I don't want to do. Someone asked me, which people don't even ask me anymore. Hey, do you want to go out to the bar and get a drink? No.

Nope.

I'm like, I'd rather you come to my house so much, bring your alcohol, and hang out with my family. Yeah, I would rather spend time at home, but those are just my values. And so it's very hard. And I don't care who you are. It's very hard to get me out to a bar. And the people that I would want to hang out with and choose to hang out with have similar values. And they'd be like, okay, I like, I would like going to your house, too. I'd rather have dinner at my house any day than dinner at a restaurant any day. And I Like to know what's in my food. I like to know the energy. I like to share my space.

Yeah.

And. And I like to be in a place where I can hear. I want to be able to. Not just in a deep conversation and, you know, like my dog scratching on the window, being like a. Like a waiter, waitress. And you're like, deep into it all of a sudden. Okay, let's. Let's address this.

Yeah.

And so those are just values I've created around myself. And there's not much I don't want to do anymore. But anything that I don't enjoy doing, I ask myself, is it done for the relationship? Is it done for the family? And can I do it out of love? And if I can't do it out of love and I just have to work through it, then I balance that out later with doing something that I really enjoy.

This is why men have the man cave.

Yeah.

This is why no matter if you're Dr. John Gray or any relationship expert, they all say that, like, when there's contraction and there's, like, responsibility that comes in, you have to have expansion. I mean, it's the. The spiral. Right?

Yeah.

That. That has to be there, otherwise you can melt down. And that's why it's very important that men meet up with other men, whether they're fathers or not. Because if that's missing, and quite frankly, it has been. I mean, look what's happened. Look what's been happening with COVID It's like it's. It's become. If people fall. Fall prey to it and are susceptible, it's become like a joy and a treat to occasionally hang out with men and men and do work and. And be with men. And it's like if you look at our human evolution, it was just like day to day, part and parcel of life where we would sit and have conversations like this, like, hey, Alex, what's truly going on in your life? Can you share some wisdom with me? And I'm going to share it back with you now. I feel like we're in this almost ego war of, like, look how much money I make. Look how beautiful my lady is. Look at my car. Look at my money in the bank. And it's like, so backwards. It's so incredibly backwards. I don't know where we lost our way on that, but I do know that we can correct it right now. And that's why I'm stoked to create with you, because I feel like you have all these skills to bring, and the one thing That I believe is missing right now, if I could put my finger on it, that is people that are boasting about how embodied they are and how much skills they have and they're great at marketing, but when it really comes down to it, like they're not going to be able to lead people across the bridge. And you do that. You know, you've, you've run groups before. Can you share with us about the, the group you have run? You've run many groups like this for men?

Several. Yeah.

How did that go in the beginning and what does it look like now?

It was clumsy. You know, it's, it's figuring out, you know, when people come in, some people may have a much deeper understanding about what their, their dream is, but not what to do with their values and, and, and how to participate. But they know what they want and some people don't know what they want and takes longer. So I'm like, okay, well I, people here and okay, now I have to discern everything what of, you know, bs, to, to they're just lying to themselves or now they're lying, you know, to me or like stop, stop giving him advice that you don't, you know, so it's like how do I navigate the situation from, from a mentor standpoint instead of a, like a immature child leading a group, you know, with, basically with a gun. Now you stop talking. Now you stop talking, you stop talking, you know, and so because that's also, when you're in these states of vulnerability, you're not talking as the, you know, me as the 32 year old. Sometimes you're talking as a 9 year old of what you're needing. And speaking to a nine year old not how you were spoken to, but how you deserved and wished you were spoken to. That's what is needed in that moment to be able to discern and go, I'm gonna nurture that. I see who's talking to me. And it's not the, like Sarah when she's, you know, she's 40 years old. And when we get into some triggering vulnerabilities, it's, I'm not talking to Sarah. I'm not, I'm talking to, you know, a 12 year old. Sure. And, and emotionally with the full blown intelligence of Sarah. And, and so remembering that is, is really.

Powerful, man. Let's talk about this in your groups and also just in life. One of the exercises that I've been practicing for about six weeks now with Carrie is when I'm triggered and I go to that space And I feel like there's a shockwave my body and I'm six years old and I'm like in class being picked on or something. And that's exactly where I go. It's literally pausing, taking a big inhale through my nose, and verbally asking her, I'm super triggered right now. Can we come back here in 15 minutes? Boom. I mean, it is that simple. It's not easy, but. But it is like if you're looking for tools as to be a strong man or strong woman, but specifically to be a strong man, don't let your biology and your emotions overpower you. We've been doing this and I have a journal and I'll be like, okay, what triggered me? Where did I feel it in my body? Can I locate it? What is it trying to tell me? How old am I again? When I felt it? And then I go back and I share that with her. And so when I come back to her, I say, hey, what I was experiencing was I felt like I wasn't enough. And it reminded me of when I was a child. And like, I just want you to know I love you so much. In that space, I was super triggered. And it just melts the situation. But in order to do that, it takes courage. Because to be a man and be vulnerable, it can be pretty confronting, you know. And so how does that play out in your groups and maybe even in your own life, that skill of like, okay, stimulus, response, breath, reflection, sharing from a non confrontational language place? Like, how does that work for you and how did that work in your men's groups?

I want to ask you something. How good does it feel when you have, when you found someone that you trust to just go I up and just have this almost like shame of like, and fear of having someone leave you because of you not feeling enough? Especially when you're not feeling enough. And then all of a sudden they just go, it's okay. You're like, wait, what? Yeah, we can, we can continue this conversation. We can continue our relationship. Yeah. And it's like, wow, Now I'm just, I just want to tell you everywhere, every time that I fuck up.

But she has to be on board with the work.

Correct.

You know, that's why. And I even heard from multiple people, like sometimes when you go through certain trainings, emotional training, Specifically the, the HLC2 partners have to go through trainings together. Both man and woman have to be on board. Right. And however you identify, I'm just speaking man and woman right now, they have to Be on board. If they're not, you're going to come to the table with your vulnerability and you're going to get destroyed. I mean, that's just a recipe for disaster, man.

Yeah. Unless. Or mastery. Right. This mastery. Because then you get to practice what it feel like to be. Yeah. Unaccepted and love yourself anyway and be honest with yourself. Can we repeat that question that you asked? How does it, how does it show up in, in the groups?

Yeah. How does it show up in your men's groups? This, this skill of, like, stimulus and response and awareness and sharing and vulnerability. And then how does that show up with your, your partner, Sarah?

Well, in the group, I make it a very strong boundary. There is no judgment because I know if we crack you open, it's going to be you're going to want the same respect.

That's right.

And it doesn't. Doesn't matter what you're talking about. And so if there's any sorts of, like, judgment or shame or disapproval, we're going to turn to you next and we're going to, we're going to break you down. And if you don't realize what you're doing, you're going to leave. And just because I set that, that boundary up front, no one's done it. And then everyone kind of can relax their buttholes and just, okay, this is a safe place. Yeah. And you can just say what you want. No matter what you say, I'm not going to be shocked by it. Someone else may be, but that's their job, to practice acceptance and then go, okay, let me process this. Because as I'm talking to someone, everyone's learning. It's not just. I'm not just coaching the person in front of me. Everyone around me is learning something. And some people are like, oh, yeah, that happens to me too. Or that happens to me, and that happens to me. But not in that same, you know, outfit. You know, it's like he's wearing a blue shirt and I'm wearing a red shirt. But that same interaction happened. Yeah. And that's how it shows up. And so once we get through these things and then once people feel safer, they're just sharing whatever this comes, comes to their mind because they're excited to be better because they're there, because they realize that what they're doing before doesn't work. And when I tell people that, you know, Sarah and I were grinding for like three and a half years, and in about two years time, we've turned everything around and literally went from, like, living from client paying us to paying bills to in. In a year being like, all right, we can move now and upgrade everything. And with nothing but. Funny enough, giving up the idea to move and grounding myself in what's important, which was the family. Because if my family is doing good, they're gonna support. They're gonna have the capacity to support me back when I'm not doing good. But if I'm just trying to sacrifice for this, Spend this energy on money or. Because that's never been a value of mine, someone hands me a hundred million dollars, I know exactly what to do with it. It would just mostly sit there and I wouldn't move. I probably, you know, increase. Enhance some things, but most of the times I. Nothing would change.

You could just take what you're doing now and do it on an amplified scale. Yeah. But you could be trusted with that.

Yeah.

Yeah. It brings me back to the question, which was like, that skill of, like, knowing who you are, having the intelligence and the presence to stop and respond instead of react. It's like how we show up to a woman in a relationship. And it is the exact same way that I show up to my physicality, that I show up to my work. I mean, it's. It's. It really is all the same. I hate to be reductionistic, although I'm going to be. So it. It really is like when I get up in the morning and I look in the mirror, like, that's a moment for me to either be like, okay, I love you. Let's be honest. What do we need to change about today? Or what do we need to change about life right now? Or I could go, I'm just gonna, like, barrel through the day, you know? And, like, that is one thing. Like, being around you, being around Paul, being around your wife, and being around so many people in these conversations. Like, the one determining factor that I've pulled from all people like yourself, is that there is this kind of root that I feel that's screwed into the ground. And you're not perfect, but there is a grounding feeling that cannot be spoken about. It can only be felt. Like you can only feel. Sometimes you can only feel things and you can't even express them with words. And I don't know exactly what that is, but I think that's what men are looking for. It is that deeply rooted groundedness to the earth, knowing who they are, having the right skills to practice that presence and awareness. And yes, relationship is a church, but. But there's many other things that can bring them that growth too, you know, and in your groups and in your personal life, what are some of those other things?

Can you ask that question a little different? Yeah.

So think about all the ways we grow as men. Relationship is one, work is another. What's. What's one of the things that you felt has really helped you grow the most in order to lead other men? Because that's a unique skill set.

Well, I feel that this is my purpose. And if it isn't your purpose, and it just feels like you can make some money off of, won't matter because you're not living your purpose. And just like the archetype of the. The hero or the healer. Like. Like doctor, right? Let's just say a doctor, you would get the archetype of the healer and potentially even the hero. If you're like in er, right, you're saving people and you're working 12 hours, 24 hours on an operating table just to get this person to, you know, not die. And you could be a great surgeon, but then you get a businessman who goes, oh, I can make a good living just being a doctor. But their life's calling isn't to be a hero or a healer. They're just a businessman. They're not going to make a good doctor. And they're. And they may make a good doctor, make a lot of money, but you'll know their heart's not in it. And then it's evident to the people that are conscious enough to realize it. And that's probably why their clients or their patients mirror their. Their soul's expression. Just like their patients don't want to be there, the doctor doesn't want to be there either. And then you'll get people that come in and they're like, you know what? This, he's not doing it for me. And they'll go find someone else, and there they'll have turnover. But there's a lot of unconscious people that don't know what they want to do with themselves or what they're called to do. And so they end up just wandering, hoping they find something to do, which is fine, because at the place where if you don't do anything, you don't start anywhere, so there is no judgment or criticism or I don't have any bad feelings of people that are actually doing stuff and trying to figure out what their life's calling is. I just got lucky from. From 18 years old. My parents were like, well, you clearly suck at college and you don't want to do it. And, yeah, well, I'm good at it, but I just lose interest so quickly.

Yeah.

That they're like, what about personal training? And. Because I started working out after high school, and you want to do personal training? And I just went in there and I barely paid attention. All the information was just absorbing. And they're like, okay, you're clearly pretty good. This. And so then they just kept, you know, this. They kept supporting me in that, and. But with the illusion of, like, well, you make money now, but we still will want to get you somewhere else and doing something else. And.

Yeah.

And then so I got a job at Lifetime Fitness, and, you know, I'm just making all this money and then turning and paying Paul with it. And they're like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I don't know, but trust me, something's good is going to happen to this.

It was something you could feel, but it wasn't something you could express.

Yeah, it didn't make sense. It's like. It's like everything you've worked for, and instead of wanting to do the things that your friends are doing, like go to bars or. I'm only just sharing from my life because that's what my friends wanted to do all the time. Bars and go to clubs.

And that's pretty standard.

Yeah, I feel. I feel. But I don't want to feel like I'm, like, being down on that because I talk about it a lot. It was just true to me because that was my experience.

Yeah.

And I just took all that money and I just kept learning and traveling and finding Paul's courses anywhere I could. And. And then in reflection, I understand why now. Like, wow, that was a cool feeling to just. To just swipe your credit card or give your credit card without knowing what. What's gonna happen, but, like, having this feeling of this gravitational pull with no. With no guarantee and just trusting that process. Same thing with Sarah. I just had the strong gravitational pull and I didn't know what was going to come of it, but I'm like, I'm willing to find out because I remember what that pull feels like. And every time I follow that pull, good things happen. And so, you know, I don't. I don't sit and pray very much, but one thing that I do pray for is having the wisdom to see what's good for me when it's right in front of me, you know, because most of the time, people will throw away relationships and throw away job opportunities because it doesn't feel good in the Moment. But that's their, you know, potentially their soulmate or their. Their soul career. And they just have to get through a couple of years, and then, boom, everything unfolds in front of them. Yeah. And so I just acknowledge that I'm not always on the up or I haven't been mostly on the up. Now I'm a lot more sensitive to that stuff, to those feelings. And. But back in the day, yeah, it was just. I can just walk through a wall and go, though, there's a wall there. Okay, well, let's keep walking.

Yeah.

And then when Sarah stood in front of me, I was like, I don't want to walk around this wall. I'm like, okay, time to find out why.

But that. That piece you're talking about, that gravitational pull, you can't really explain that. No, there's no. Like, nobody's going to read a book and be like, how to follow your soul's gravitational pull in five easy steps.

Have you been in those circus when you go to, like, the circus and they have those Gravitrons and they just stick you to the wall? Yes. It's like that. And then try. Except it's pushing you in the opposite direction, and you try to get off the wall, and you're like, why do.

I reverse gravitational pull? Yeah. Yeah.

And that's the. That's the only way I can describe it is I. You just can't look away.

Okay, this is. This is huge because, you know the initial question, and I love where you ended up with it, man. It's beautiful. The initial question was like, what are the things that cause you great challenges to provide that healing and space for other men? And this understanding of what the gravitational pull even is or how to recognize it, I feel only comes from it being challenged. It's like, you know, in Jurassic park when the Raptors test the fence? Like, our gravitational pull has to be tested. It's like we get to these decision points, like, do I want to be with this woman or do I not? Do I want this career or do I not? Do I want to have these certain friends or do I not? I mean, these are the kind of things it's easy to fuck away, drink away, smoke away, shop away, work away. Just away. Get away, get away. I feel like that is exactly what you and I can bring to the table together. Because I'm 40 years old, I've made a lot of wrong turns. Well, they weren't wrong. They were just unique in their own challenge. And one of the things I love just in Our conversations. And a lesson that I want to share from leading group this year was when I get triggered as a leader, and I would obviously love to hear what you think about this too. When I get triggered as a leader, it is exactly my learning point to reflect on. Can I be vulnerable and honest with the people that I'm leading? Because then they'll want to be led even more. They'll trust me even more. But if I'm feeling triggered and I'm feeling trapped. And in that moment, there was a specific moment where it was Covid. We had one guy who was out of group on a phone. We had another guy sitting six feet out, and then we had eight more guys sitting around a circle. But it was just. The energy was weird, and I felt so triggered. It was such a unique experience here with COVID and this social distancing theater that we're in, that I had a moment where I was like, hey, you know, I'm actually really triggered by this space. I'm triggered by what's going on. I'm saddened that we can't all come together. And I know everyone's having their own unique experiences. And that was the recipe, dude. That was the recipe for me to just really lead them even stronger. And then I got another contrast later on in the group where one man was going through a process, and I had to maintain the energy of the group, and I had to ask him to leave. And it was chaos. But how I operated in that chaos was such rich learning. It was such awesome learning. Like, kind of makes me want to cry just talking about it. Like, it was such beautiful learning for me to be able to navigate a really rough ocean with men. Because when men come to group, all of our shit comes up. And whoever the anchors are for that group, they have to have been battle tested. They have to have been trusted to go through their own storms. So how can you share something like that that you've done in a group or just an experience that you've had from men? Because I think sometimes people get the wrong idea about what it really means to lead.

Let me know if I'm answering your question right or what you're asking me. Yes. There are times in. In the groups where I feel like either people don't want to participate, they do, but they. They don't participate, and they just play games, and it's just sitting. Having the patience to go, okay, like, this person is. Their childishness is trying me right now. And.

Yep.

And a lot of that is. Is having the patience to Be able to go, okay, I see who's talking to me. And it's not the person who wants to be better. It's the person that can't let go of what they're holding on to. And it took me a lot of letting go of all the things that were holding me back that made it possible to see those things. So luckily, the things I was teaching was. Were the things that I'm already. I've already hammered through hundreds of times and practice daily. What's interesting. So I got triggered once when I was talking to my dog, and my dog came in and I was like. He just kept whining. And I was like, just get out of here. And like, go. And then someone. Someone was like, sounds like you're mad. I'm like, it's okay to get mad. I'm like, he doesn't listen if you don't get mad at him, you know? And then. But it. Like, there's a part of me that was. That was like, is he trying to coach me right now? And I was like, what's happening here? Why am I feeling like this? And then. And then some. And then I took a moment just sit there and really realize what was happening. It was like, this person has not seen things for a while, so he's just bringing awareness and. To himself, making it. Making him believe in himself again. Ah, I see something. He got angry there for a second. And then it was me being like, oh, I think he's projecting. And then maybe he's not projecting. Was I angry? So in this moment, I'm sitting there, like, bouncing all these things inside my brain. And. And then when I brought it down to my heart, I was like, he's practicing in his own way. In his own clumsy way. He's practicing.

Yeah.

And then I was like, has nothing to do with you. He's trying to relate to see if what he's seeing is actually true. And his. And my response is tuning his. His meter. And then. So then I, like, thought about it for a second and I was like, I'm very frustrated at my dog because I can't think. So. Yes. I don't. Wouldn't say I'm mad and angry at the dog, but I am. I get frustrated. Yeah. And. And. And it's. I had to explain, like, this dog doesn't listen. If I just like, calmly, you know, please go in the other room. It's like, point and then make a. Make a call. And then he goes. So all those combinations. That's what that is. It's frustration in me. But I. And then I had to explain because anger looks a lot different. And so he's like, okay, interesting. Like, ponder that for a while. So that those. That is one of the only times that I can consciously remember in a group that. That happening, because it happened with other people in the room. And I was like, this feels new to me. Yeah, it's happening.

I love that you said that. Because the only way that any leader can continue to lead is by being humble enough to know when it's time to reflect.

Yeah.

You know, it's a real time to reflect. And so one of the things that I can absolutely guarantee to anyone that I ever coach or lead or do anything with and I. It goes without saying for you, too, is there is always going to be a pause and space for reflection rather than, like, reaction. That's. That's the real work. Because I've even seen so many people that are in the men's work field right now, and they've been speaking out against masks and. And for people that are. I've trusted for so long, and they're like, if you're not wearing a mask, unfriend me. And I'm like, whoa, you're. You're leading so. So many people right now. Like, how could you say that? And just then, the next day, he. He went back on what he said, and he said, hey, I realized I was coming from a frustrated place, and. And here's how I really feel. And that is leadership. I feel like for some men, like, they. They idolize or. And maybe we even do this at times just with people. We'll put someone on a pedestal and be like, oh, this is the leader of a group. So they have to act, say, and do things in this certain way. And if. And if they don't, then I can't trust them. It's actually like. Well, I think the quality of being a great leader is, like, they're vulnerable, and that's why you can trust them. That's the top quality.

There's two things that are rattling through my brain as you're talking. It was like, let's just say a good leader of a nation. A good leader will listen and then do what's best for everyone involved. Right. Hopefully. But we're just talking about the general archetype of a good leader.

Yeah.

And someone that can either go, you know, bring up a proposition. Here's the new law. And all the town people are like, this sucks. I don't want to do this. And then being Able to go, you know what? That's not a good idea. You're right. I'm going to go back and think about this without having to feel like, oh, I'm giving away my power. Because you're not, because you're clearly still in power. But a lot of times if you're wounded, people will get upset and then use anger or dominance to assert that. And the people, the people don't like that. And. Or being the other side of making a proposition and then going, you know what? I know this doesn't look fun, but I promise this is going to be better for in the long run.

That's a great way to say it.

Right. And. And if the, if the, the king or the leader is grounded enough, they'll be able to say, like, when they're in a group, go, okay, let me hear your concerns and be able to hear out completely the opposite side of what they're trying to convey. But then. And also listening in the moment, not just going, okay, I'm going to wait for you to finish so I can unload all this information on you. But actually listening going, where's this person at in their life? What experience have they had through their lifetime that brought them to making this decision that out of fear or maybe out of their own. Their own wounds. Right. And going, okay, let me, Let me listen to this. Because a lot of men think that if you listen to the opposite side, that means you're somehow going to believe them all of a sudden.

Yes.

And it's. It's always been weird to me. Like, I can. I can listen to the opposite side. You know, it's not going to. It's not going to affect me any other way. You know, just the same way I can walk into a store with a mask on and all of a sudden I won't turn into a sheep. Like, that does not turn something in my brain to go, I'm going to be like this now.

This is so powerful, man.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because there's one part of me that's. That's feeling into what you're saying. And I'm like, yep, that's true. If I believe and I trust myself, I don't need to get angry and upset about other people. The only time I would play devil's advocate to that is if other people's narratives are directly harming others. And I can see that my level of awareness and consciousness isn't better. It's just being more of an observer rather than subjective.

Yeah. And to the opposite side, if no one Tells me to put on a mask. I'm not wearing one.

That's right.

You know, so it goes both ways. And that's the thing. It's okay. Well, yeah, you know, there's the cloak, you know, all right, I'll fit in. But don't. I always tell people, don't ask me a question you don't want to know the answer to. If you don't want to know my opinion and you're looking for an echo chamber, potentially, don't ask me because you may be really upset or if you're willing to listen to what I have to say. It could be life changing because I'm. When the more you've researched into one topic, I've looked at both sides of the argument because I don't have any fear. All I want to do is figure out what's true. And then when does this apply and when does it not apply? Because if you're studying to be a Zen person all your life, or let's say a light worker, and you're only thinking about positive, and you're like, good vibes only. Yeah. You're ignoring the other half of yourself, which is ugly and dismissive and shameful and hateful and you don't know yourself. So let's figure that out. So I look at all those things, as much as I'm, like, leaning towards love and light, let's see what's dark and ugly at the same time and then blend those two. And when do I get dark and ugly versus when do I get love and full of light vibrations?

It's quite the story we're in right now with COVID and mask wearing and BLM and fires and toxic waste in our waters. Like, whoa. God really chose a story here to unfold. And the more that I live it, the more that I'm so grateful for the challenges that I've been through. And also, there is a deep concern because, yes, I believe in humanity and yes, I believe in the power of the human spirit. And nothing in this world is guaranteed. If God chooses. If spirit, spirit goes. You know what? This has been a great run here. Humans have been on the earth for long enough. I'm going to let them implode, and I'm going to experience myself through them. Or we could come together and choose. This is the power of choice. We could choose to connect with God and really be in communion and harmony with God. Do you feel like men's work is a deep part of that?

I feel like it's just like another wave in the ocean. And it feels like I've always been drawn to help people, and especially being in the father role now and just. I mean, Most people work eight to 10 hours a day, and then they come home, and then they spend a couple hours with their. Their kids and family. And I spend 24 hours a day pretty much on this property, you know, and food gets delivered here from Whole Foods. Like, I rarely leave here. And I'm always by Sarah for, like, six years. And so when. When all this got shut down, I'm like, I don't understand what changed. Nothing has changed for us. We're all together, we're hanging out. And the big difference is you do school from your room. That's. That's it. And I really pains me to see when. People can't escape their problems and they take it out on their families instead of just asking, what is the pain? What do I need? And truly finding that out and then being able to participate in that. And if you have an unsupportive partner, if you're like, I need a day, a week to just, you know, how about I take Saturdays, you take Sundays, you watch the kids, and I'll watch the kids Saturdays. And so. Because I need a day.

Yeah.

And to just do whatever I want, obviously, respectfully, to our relationship or to my. You know, whatever the. Whoever. You know, whoever you're with, or if you're by yourself, it's even easier. Just go, man, this is my time is brutal. How can I be productive in my own self? What do I need? And not just, like, I'm gonna get hammered. Because if you look at it. If you take a look at your soul, it's probably not that productive. It'll probably just take the stress away. But in that time, you're not really understanding or finding what you really need to feel fulfilled and full and whole. Where was I going with this? So if you take that time to really get deep with what you need, whether you're alone or in your relationship, it creates peace inside of you that you've never felt before. And you start realizing that everything you have is enough. And everything that you don't have is just waiting to show up into your life when you're. When you're willing to receive it. And I don't mean like that $100 million lottery, because most people, if that's almost like. That's almost like a fish food on a hook. And if you have the responsibility, you know, most people that win the lottery don't know what to do with themselves.

Most people lose it. I think it's like 99 will just lose it all.

Yeah. Instant. Almost instantly.

Yeah.

And it's. Once again, it's like, are you willing to participate in what's important right here in front of you and realize that that is your growth opportunity? Not when you win the lottery or not when you have your car or not when you have your house. Because most people don't know. When Sarah and I coached with Paul, I wanted to move from that house. Like, I didn't, you know, this wasn't my house. I didn't pick this house. You picked this house. We're living here. And then I was just, you know, salty about it. And. And then we weren't doing very good because I was always thinking about a new house and I want. I want to pick something. And my poor masculine was like. My masculine boy was like, you know, I want to participate.

I don't like my room, man.

Yeah. And I was like, I don't want to spend all this time and money and work and, and blood, sweat and tears into making this house. And then, and then after realizing that that didn't matter, and then I switched and I said, you know what? If we live in here for five, 10 more years, I want to make the best of it. And then everything changed. Literally everything changed. But it wasn't saying the words. It was coming to terms and being honest with that. It was a true. I'm okay to live here, and I'm going to make this my home, whether I have to drag everyone through it, you know, and get new curtains or new car. I'm going to make this livable for me. And I'm gonna create a routine and I'm gonna create harmony here, and we're gonna create harmony here. Let's just dive into this. And I'm gonna stay home and I'm gonna pay attention with the kids and I'm gonna be present. And that's what's important from now on, not getting a house. And then two years later, we moved.

I just had a moment when you were talking, almost like I. I popped out of the Matrix and I came back in and I saw Neo's hand come up. You know, we're at the very end where they shoot the bullets at him and he just simply, calmly just says no. He just puts his hand out. And that's, that's what I think happens when we've gone through enough pain, is we just. We just simply say no. I'm tired of lack. I'm tired of pain. I'M just. It's not what I want to experience anymore. And then that gets tested. And that's where I think real men are forged right there. So what a joy to talk with you about this. And I know we covered a lot of ground, man. And this conversation about what it takes to be a good man on the road to being a great man, you.

Know, what do you.

What do you think we missed? What did we not cover?

I feel like the general theme maybe, maybe the greatest piece of experience that I've learned is you don't eat the fruit the moment you plant the seed. It takes a while and you can't just plant it and walk away. You got to look after it, you got to water it and you got to nurture it and you got to make sure you pull weeds out that don't need to be there. And because they're going to want to fill that space aggressively. And from my life experience, as little as I've been on this planet, I've spent a lot of time just tilling the dirt a lot. And I read a quote recently that said that most people are trying to transcend before they learn the ground. And I'm. And I feel like it only makes it easier the more grounded you become into your purpose, into your whatever your vision is and get clear with what you really want so you don't hurt a bunch of people in the process. You know, it's one thing to be a clumsy man that has good intentions. And I used to be a lot like that. I hurt a lot of people in the process. Yeah, unintentionally, but because I was so driven in my mind and in my heart that I was relentless to finding what was purposeful for me. But everyone that came into my path was very emotionally or mentally somewhat hurt until I realized what I've been doing. And then I started really paying attention to people's and becoming more mature in my wisdom. I used to get frustrated with people and just tell them what's going on honestly, instead of letting people figure it out for themselves. Took a lot of growing to realize it takes a lot of responsibility to handle knowledge.

Mm.

And you could easily make or break someone. I mean, how many people you know you give to? You give someone too much psychedelics and they could fracture their psyche and they don't know what's real anymore because they haven't been grounded in what truth is and what their beliefs are to go back to what's and what's not pre programmed by other people. What. What are their Beliefs, you know. So the biggest thing is, like, for me is grounding has been the single most important thing for me is finding a purpose and without expectation of anything in return, practicing doing it anyway, whatever that is. And it's rough, but what I learned is the joy I get from actually doing that and seeing what occurs. Like when a bird hits my window and I'm sitting there holding it for a while, I don't expect this bird to, like, bring me gifts. Just doing it because I want to do it. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, the bird flies away and then, like, stops on a railing, looks back at me. It just gives me this, like, this breath and then turns around and flies away. And then it'll sit in a branch and just stare. And we just stare at each other for a while until it's, like, ready to go.

And usually I've had moments like that with deer around here.

Yeah.

Where I'm like, are you me?

Yeah, exactly.

Yes, I'm you.

And so the same thing with the deer. Sarah feeds the deer with no expectation. You know, they're like, well, she's like, well, maybe they'll come eat out of my hand one day. But it's a lot of pain because they're not going to come talk to her right away. They're not going to come eat out of her hand. They're wild deer, but they get close and they're getting closer every day. I was telling Sarah two years they'll be eating out of her hand.

Yes.

But right now you have to give without. Without. Without needing or wanting anything in return.

Yeah.

And that's been my practice. How can I give without wanting or needing? And what I'll. What I need and want, I'll get from myself. And I'll just plan that in.

And just watching what happens, this is solid wisdom, man. And this has just been a continuation of our other three, four hour conversations. And this is just really a taste, an insight, a lens into the kind of work that you and I are going to continue to do to serve the world. So I'm just so excited and honestly just honored, just really honored to have met you and my journey and my evolution and my growth. You have the qualities of fatherhood that I think men can truly embody. And I think that's what's going to make the world a better place. So if people don't know where to connect with you, man, where do they connect with Alex Rybczynski?

They can go to Primal Fusion health dot com. They can go to Primal Fusion On Instagram. And then I think they can look for my handle. It's like health performance engineer. And on Instagram, that's where I have all my links and my link trees. And they can go through and find different podcasts and different websites and different. Whatever. What. Everything that I do is on there. It's to some degree, so they can pull from and learn all the different things that I do. Mostly. Prometheusionhealth.com write us an email.

Yeah, you can find them. The Internet's great because you can literally get any information, any knowledge you want or that you need with a few keystrokes. So it's pretty incredible. But again, make sure you earn that wisdom. So, Alex, you're definitely someone I think has earned your wisdom. And with that said, you know, looking at what it really means to be a man, a good man, a great man, a great father, like, all of these things, essentially, we all have this desire, I think, inside of our deepest heart to live our life well, you know, wellness. So how would you define this? Like, how would you define living your life? Well, what's. What's Alex Rubcinski's definition of wellness?

If I'm mentally and emotionally and physically balanced, if I'm thinking too much and not getting into the state of feeling or my body, I just notice I'll get up and I'll be stiff and I don't know what's happening because I'm. I'm sitting too long thinking about things instead of doing them. So it's. It's balancing feeling and actually doing. You know, most of the time people ask me how I do all the stuff that I do around here, and I have to shut my brain off. So if someone asks me, like, hey, can you give me a cup? I just go get the cup. There's no process of what am I doing right now. It's just I go get the cup and I. Then I go and re center myself. And then if I rely on the people that love me to go, oh, I'm bothering him right now, because I know he will not say no. And he'll go do that thing until it's like, no, he's. He's deep into something, then he'll say no. But if I'm just, like, walking around the house and I'm, like, trying to get something, I'll just stop what I'm doing, go get that thing. Because I know that, well, I love them, so I'm gonna go do that for them. But I just get up and do the thing and it's just having enough awareness to go what needs to be done right now. And it could be taxes, could be the lawn needs to be mowed because it grows to, like, three feet high up here. Like the whole, like, everything that you see here mode.

Do you have a set mower?

No, I push mower.

Oh, okay.

Three acres of some cardio. Yeah, I just. Throwing up. I just throw on, you know, a book or something. Just walk around and listen to it. And so if that doesn't get done, the kids can't play outside. I can't walk outside. There's gonna be bugs everywhere. They'll be hiding out in the grass. And so it's balancing what needs to get done versus what I want to get done. And so some things are very time sensitive, and then the rest of the are not so time sensitive, because when clients come, they book. And I know when they're coming, so I can plan my day around that. And I just have certain values, like, I don't work weekends unless it's really necessary, or someone comes flying in from town that I'll work a weekend, or I don't work before 10am usually because I need to drive my kids to school, and then I want to, and I get to. It's a fun conversation in the car. I get to drive and drop her off, and, you know, they do their thing or she does her thing, and then I get to drive home and some peace and quiet and, like, start integrating with my day, thinking about all the things I need to do. So it's my quiet time. And then I have a little time to ground and get some food and a bag or coffee, something that I can enjoy for myself in the morning, and take them all my shilaji and all that stuff, get ready for the day. And then I just go into my day, and then that's how I balance it. And if I start doing one thing more than the other, unless it's necessary, like, I'll give you an example. This gym took about nine months. It should have taken about four. But there are so many things that need to occur. Like, I think I told you I was painting everything. And so there was a moment there where all the construction was done, and all I need to do is paint. So I spent a week here painting non. I called off almost all my clients, and I spent eight to ten hours a day here just. Just smelling fumes and rolling brushes.

This is Zen. This is Zen practice.

And. And it stressed out the family because I wasn't helping. But in. In reflection. If I didn't do that, there were things that were happening weeks later that couldn't have happened. And then it was it only it was time before I realized that I made the correct decision and to go and to say, look to myself. I know how to take care of myself. And I can always get that back because this is a week I can go without. A week of being outside this needs to get done or we can't function as a business.

Yes. What I heard from you is wellness is awareness. Awareness is really wellness, your awareness. To know, like, I don't have to be rigid because anything that I have to do that's rigid doesn't mean I trust myself to be flexible. So I want to thank you again, man, for spending time on this podcast. And also if you're watching this on YouTube, click the link below. You can learn more about Alex, you can learn more about this men's work. And if you're feeling this, don't intellectualize it. Just reach out for information. Hit up myself. Hit up Alex. And until we both see you again really soon, I'm wishing you, Alex is wishing you love and wellness.

Sa.