Dan Martell | Buy Back Your Time: Reclaim Your Freedom + Build Your Empire

You'll never get a penny more than you think you deserve. Your self worth is a byproduct of your identity. If you don't think you're worth it, you won't go on the journey to develop. If you don't think you inherently have more to give, you won't decide to go work on the skills that are going to make you more valuable to the marketplace. I think entrepreneurship is the ultimate personal development program. It is the most beautiful thing. You want to grow your business? Go look in the frickin mirror, man.

It is the most powerful mirror I think we could ever experience. Intra or entrepreneur. Because in order for us to be of service at a high level, we have to look at the ways that we're not actually serving us.

Yeah.

Because we can't give anybody else anything from an empty cup.

Most people make the mistake of hiring people for capacity. I'm like, no. Hire people to buy back your time, the calendar, and then fill your time with things that evolve you. And through that the business will actually grow. The bigger the business gets, the more time I have to become better to be ready for the next thing. But you can't do that if you don't have the calendar. Create the space in your calendar to then go on the journey to become more valuable to the marketplace. Why? Because you deserve it. I think everybody deserves to be rich.

Thank you for being here, dude.

It's an honor.

Yeah, I just do a rolling start. So we just chat. This is our first time actually meeting and you reached out to me on ig.

Yeah.

And I had already gotten an intro from your book from a couple entrepreneurs. So I read the Audible and I'm like, wow, what are the breadcrumbs from God that make people connect when they don't know each other, but they've already felt each other or connected with each other? So I have John Vrooman to thank for our intro, which is a brother. He's been on the show. You're here in Austin. This is the book we're talking about today. You guys buy back your time, but it's not just about money. And this is the big part that I want to focus on. Like money is a tool, money is a vehicle. But really time is our only finite resource that is so precious. I remember we were chatting on IG and I was like, this is about freedom, Dan. This has nothing to do with just money. And you're like, you get it. So what do you make of that? This concept of freedom and money. Let's jump off Right there.

Yeah. I mean, it's not even, I think, and that's why it's reclaim your freedom. I think that even time is a finite resource. But I would go as far as to say that the energy is even more important. So, like, we can all do the same activity. And, you know, I remember I call it math class, right? I'm sitting there and it's like I'm looking at the clock and it's. And I'm just like, this is so slow. And it felt like three hours. No.

Was math a strong suit for you?

No. Zero. It was like the slow time almost stood still. Okay. Hour and 15 minute class felt like three hours. Then I go to art class. All right, Got my paper, got my crayon. Dah, dah, dah. The bell rings a start. All of a sudden it felt like six minutes. It's like the class is done and I'm still in the flow. So I've learned, even for me personally, that's why I talk about the time and energy audit. I need to audit the energy that I bring to the work. So a lot of people talk about time management. I'm an energy management guy. And, and oh, it turns out if you focus on things that you love to do, the money shows up. What a crazy idea.

Wow.

So that's my big idea.

So spirituality is a piece of your life. I saw in your 4am routine that you actually said something so cool. You said that when you wake up, you connect to your creator so that you can create. And I absolutely love that. I mean, the only reason I was able to bring life into the world with my love, Kerry Michelle. And the, the only reason I do what I do is because of my connection to God or the Creator. But that word is like a trigger for many people. And on the show we talk about the wisdom to actually take our life experience and make meaning from it. So how would you actually define God or who's your creator? Because without that, it seems like you couldn't do what you do.

Now it's not even could I do what I do, the opportunities, the inspiration, the, the expansion wouldn't happen. See, I think like, you know, when people say, like most people, like I love the idea, they're like, most people don't do this. Most people don't work most. And, and what they, what they're, they're saying they don't realize is the people that aren't awake, because that's just how it is. There are people that are awake to how the world is and Then there's the ones that are not. And most people live a very routine, low energy, low experience, low miracle, low whatever you want to call it, life. And, and I don't, I don't think that's bad. I think it's actually, you know, some people are on a journey and that's their journey. And like, I have no judgment around it. It's kind of funny because people are like, what do you think of that person? I don't care. I know my experience. I know the, you know, I know that my, my frequency is what I frequently see. So I'm looking for miracles. I'm looking for opportunities. So the.

That's a nice rhyme right there.

Yeah, well, it's, it's. I think, to me, I think that I learned this a long time. I study a lot of. I only read books that are written pre1940s. Like think and grow rich came out in 1938. I asked Chad GPT what are all the books that were referenced in that book and all the books that are like those books.

Wallace Wattles, New Thought.

Yes. Secret. All of it. Yeah. Cyber, cyber, cybernetics. I mean, you name it. Like, these are as old as it literally goes. Religion, philosophy, and then in the 1800s, the 1900s, the mindset kind of, it's personal development is actually quite new. And then kind of like modern day stuff, the spirituality stuff. And so I, I just learned a long time ago that when I especially early in the morning, for me, the world is quiet, my house is quiet. And if I can just sit there and connect, download, because here's what I want. There's a few ideas I'd love to invite people to consider. Your first thought is not your thought. The second thought is your thought. So when you're driving and you get a download, you get an inspiration. That's not you. That's the universal mind. That's God, that's creation. That's whatever you want to call, whatever word you want to use.

Would you call it the collective field or all of the collective unconscious?

I literally, there's, there's. If you go in history, there is 55 different words to explain the same thing.

No, 55.

There's more. I mean, I literally was asking ChatGPT, pull out this book. I use AI all the time and it gave me like, yeah, universal, divine. Like, it's funny because you can actually put them together. It's like universal consciousness, the universal mind, universal, divine. But at the end of the day, you know, And Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a great Book called Big Magic talks about this, right? Like there is this collective consciousness that's always, that's always there if you're aware again awakened and then if you can connect to that energy. That's why I say connect to my creator and create from that place. Be, be open and listening for the inspiration. I mean when I see people like an Oliver Anthony, right, who writes a song, Richmond North Richmond. Okay. Like people don't understand how beautiful of a story that is. We're a guy that's 35, 36, Bible belt, in a trailer, 20 year old car, alcoholic, dead end job, gets inspired, discovers his creator from his perspective, decides and he says this. I stopped making about myself and I started making about other people. And a random show that he's playing in the woods on us old Samsung phone gets recorded and uploaded to TikTok and his song goes number one Billboard. First time in the history of the universe that a non signed artist had the number one song in America on Billboard. That's what can happen if you connect to your creator. And my life is, is just a example after example example. Our conversation today, us connecting of just allowing that divine intelligence. Those downloads occur. I just think sometimes we, we people get them those first thoughts and they dismiss them.

Yeah. I remember Steven Pressfield was saying, when the muse visits, if you don't answer, she'll go find someone else.

That's, that's the big.

And when I heard, when I started podcasting in 2015 and I dove into his work, I was like, I have, I not only have to work hard, the only alternative for me as an entrepreneur is to work hard and to actually be open to the muse coming. Because she doesn't always come to everyone.

No.

And even when she comes to you, you may not have the faculty or the courage to answer the call.

Yeah, well, fear gives bad advice.

That is true.

Yeah.

Or false evidence appearing real.

Yeah. So when that call happened, that's what happens is people think about. You just said it's like I get this inspiration but then the fear shows up and it says, oh, but who are you? Yeah, who are you, man? Have a top podcast. No, you're just Josh. Dude, what have you done?

Listen, I came from La Mesa, California, which is like geriatric ward and drug addicts. And I've during there.

Yeah.

Okay. 1998 is when I graduated from Grossmont High School. Shout out to the Foothillers. But I learned so much from just experiencing what I didn't want. So did you?

Yeah.

17 years old. You're in A car, there's a gun. You're high, you're on drugs, you crash the car. I mean, holy shit, what a reckoning moment. Now, I'm sure that still lives within you. Like you're in your 40s now. It's not something that you ruminate on every day, but it's still there for you, like the past of addiction and looking for God outside yourself. Maybe not even knowing God or knowing who you are at 17. It's kind of hard to know ourselves anyways, unless we have a really strong mom and dad.

Yeah. No. Zero awareness.

But e break us, because that really set a foundation for your entrepreneur journey, for the book, for everything. If you didn't have that occur for you and you didn't have that moment where you had to question even, was God real? Or is God in me? Or how do I respond to this in my life? You know, nothing. You wouldn't be sitting here now if that didn't occur for you. So it's a universal journey. We all. We all take separate and remember who we are. So take us there, man.

Yeah. Well, it's funny because I was. I called my mom a couple weeks ago, and we were just talking. I said, I just. I just need you to hear it. I know I tell you often, but thank you. And she's, you know, she's 72, and she's like, for what? And I'm like, for being exactly who I needed. Wow. I feel like I could have been a better mom. You were the mom I needed. And I'm so happy right now. Thank you. And she just. She gets awkward, you know, like, she didn't grow up in any aspect of personal development. And I just look at it, and I look at who she was, and in those moments, the car chase almost taking my life. My parents, they did the best they knew what they could do with what they had. And when I look at the people that showed up in my life, in prison, right after eventually rehab, discovering software programming, which. It makes no sense. We didn't have a computer growing up. Why did that speak to me and the character that I developed? I mean, the big thing was growing up with a huge sense of comfort in the chaos, like Josh. I mean, that is. If I have a gift, it's. I can go into a pain cave, sit down, get super comfortable, and I'm good. I don't know why. I just. Well, I know why. Because I went through so much as a young kid. Turns out, as an entrepreneur, going through that is the, like, the ultimate skill. When People are like, you know, how do you take risk? You know, aren't you scared? I go, okay, okay, I'm sorry. I used to, like, I'm not proud of any of this, but I used to break into people's houses that I knew had guns to steal the guns. Like, just saying that sentence out loud is kind of stupid. Like, you're going into somebody's home that, you know, in that home, they have the ability to shoot you in the.

Face.

That I don't even understand. And when they're like, talking risk, I'm like, what we're doing in business is, worst case, I sleep on my brother's couch for two months maybe. Worst case, I get a job at Facebook. Like, what are we talking about? Where's the risk? Like, some people don't actually. They don't real. I think this is a big idea. Is. And again, these are all things I learned. 16, 17 year olds going through rehab, going through, you know, being in prison is. I am. I've. There's never been a situation where I haven't figured it out. It doesn't mean that I didn't stumble. It doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It didn't mean I suffer for. For months. It doesn't mean that there were definitely periods of my life where went through some, some tough times, but I always figured it out. So, like, the older I get, the coolest perspective I have is, it's all awesome. It's all going to be great.

It's all figureoutable.

It's all there.

Yeah.

And, and, and we get to create from that place. So again, I'm not saying that everything's possible. I'm saying anything's possible. And if people want to connect to their creator, embrace the pain, like Guy said once, he said, the freest person in the room is a person with no secrets. When I was writing that book, okay, my dad heard Dan's writing a book. He calls me up and he goes, hey, you know, I talked to your brother. He says, you're writing a book. I don't think your mom wants that story out there. I go, hmm, that's fascinating. They've been divorced since I was 13. I was like, really? Mom called you and told you? Well, no, but I know your mom. I go, dad, do you have an issue with the story out there? Like, is that, is that your way of telling me that? And he's like, he goes, I just, I don't, I don't want to have that conversation with my neighbor. I don't want to have that. You know what I mean? Like, I just, I just. Why do we have to go back?

What was the conversation he didn't want to have?

He didn't want anybody to know that I went through that. Nobody knew that story. Oh, that's, that's what's fascinating. I, that was a family secret that I kept quiet for 17 years.

But that secret held you hostage.

That secret was the most powerful thing I have. Why, Dude, I'm sitting here and telling you. Everything in my life is because of that. Everything. I, I, I, I'm. There's no other way to say it. The, the thing that's happened to me, the worst thing that's ever happened to me is my, My, my source of strength. And it's kind of like. Somebody said it recently. They say it's like a bow and arrow. The only way for the arrow to go as far as possible is you got to pull that sucker. Like, it's almost like. And I don't. I'd love to get into bow and arrow stuff, but as a kid, obviously, I knew how I had a bow and arrow, like a regular one, not a compound bow. And it's just like, the more you pull it back, the more you're willing to go into the inner child and do the work, the further you can go. The, the, the lowest you've gone is the highest you can go. And that's why a lot of people that have gone through the most actually had the most to give if they're willing to explore that. So for me not to use the thing that shaped me, that created who I am, to go out in the world and be full of shit, like, I would be full of shit.

Dude.

Dude. If you ask me. Hey, Dan, why you think you're successful? Well, you know, I get up every day and I work hard, and I'm consistent, and it'd be. I'd be lying. That's not why I'm successful. I'm successful because I went through some really tough challenges, and I was blessed to have people show up in my life to show me how to do the work.

Dude, you know what? This makes me remember a story from Les Brown where he talks about the Chinese bamboo tree. Have you heard this one?

No.

Oh, this is it. Literally, when you were speaking, I was seeing a bamboo tree grow. You have to plant a seed perfectly. It's got to have perfect angle sunlight. You got to water it every day for, like, five to 10 years, and if you miss a day, it won't grow. And Then all of a sudden, in two weeks, it grows 50ft. The Chinese bamboo tree. That's exactly what you talked. So 16, 17, you're in the car. You're literally disconnected from God. Probably your creator in every way possible. Yeah, but the seed of success was fucking planted. The Chinese bamboo tree was planted. And it took how long before it started to sprout?

I just finished talking to my buddy Nicholas about this. I didn't have a relationship with God the way I do today for a long time.

Why was that?

I just didn't. I didn't. I mean, how do I say this? I. The people I knew in the Catholic Church full. Like, I'm like, you don't. What are we doing? You go to church on Thanksgiving, Christmas, like, whatever, It's. You don't believe in it. Like, I talk to you and I can see it's not there. Like, they're not connected to spirit. Yeah, okay. I didn't know that. I just was like, I met these people in church, and I'm like, you're full of shit. You talk about God, principles, this. And I know that you hit your wife or you talk about this, and I know you cheated on your wife, right? Like, there was all these. These issues with the people from religious church. And then I go my whole life, but I knew there was more. Like, I'd be that guy. Like, I believe in energy. I believe there's more out there. I can't tell you what it is, but there's something more. There's something more. And that. That helped me, right? That helped me with, like, the coaching, the therapy, the. The breath work, the meditation. Like, I had these moments of, like, connectivity and massive gratitude. And. And then I went to. I think it was a decade ago, I went to an event, and they did this oneness blessing. And then all of a sudden, I felt like I felt it. That was probably the first time I felt what people call God. And. And even then, I didn't kind of allow myself to go on the journey. And it was probably five, five, six years ago, and I woke up one day and I realized all the best people in my life, all the best humans in my life were all followers of Jesus. And it was the weirdest thing. I'm like, my best friend Brad. Oh, yeah. And then this other guy.

Oh, yeah.

And this guy. And I'm like, okay, this is interesting. Like, these are all people I admire. They all have faith. We don't talk about it because they're also incredible entrepreneurs. And then I just kept asking questions and then this, like, random introduction to a guy named Erwin McManus. You know Erwin?

No.

Dude, it's so weird, man. I heard him on a podcast, and he was the first person I ever heard talk about spirit and energy. I mean, he studied. I think he grew up. I don't even know Buddhist or something. Like, his mom went through, like, all these different religions, and then he just. He just kind of explains it. He runs a church in LA called Mosaic, and one of his tenants is 75% of the audience are atheists. On purpose. He goes, that's what. We're not supposed to hold place for people that are believing. Supposed to hold space for people that are on the edge, that are curious. What's going on here. I see this person. You seem a lot more lit up than I am. What do you know? Like, and that's. That's been the coolest thing, is, like, I think God was there the whole time. I definitely did not know how to have a relationship with him.

Yeah, with it.

With the. The Holy Spirit, I mean. And then it was just like, the more I pulled on that string, the more blessings again. My frequency is what I frequently see. So I actually am weird because I believe in faith and I also believe in quantum mechanics because I believe God created quantum mechanics. He created string theory. He created this universe. He created it all. So both of those are opportunities for us to express.

Dude, so good. Kevin Kelly calls it the technium.

And.

And he says that it's God experiencing God's self through technology, I think, which is quite interesting of a theory.

Y.

What do you make of that?

I actually think we're all here for God to experience it's consciousness. Experience consciousness.

So the God's basically Goding everywhere, dude.

We're all the universe now.

This is a spiritual, but it's also a practical. This is very practical because if people actually feel what you're saying, it could change their life. I had so much anger towards God. My mom was manic bipolar. My dad left when I was two. God exists two months old. Like, if God's here, why would. Would God allow these things to happen? And are we actually ever free? If I believe in a deity, if I believe in an all, because why would the all allow such heinous things to occur? And that was what baked my noodle for so long. I'm like, oh, my gosh. How do I let go of my resentment and anger towards God? And it wasn't until I started this podcast where I actually developed a relationship with God. So it's so fitting that, you know, first thing in the podcast we're talking about is your faith. Like, you connect with your creator in the. In the morning so that you actually can create.

Yeah.

Then I wonder, like, this book and even this concept of buying back your time, it's about freedom. It's about sovereignty. It's about living your life exactly how you want to. I heard Tony Robbins say, you know, true freedom is when I can say no to anything for any reason.

Yeah.

I'm like, yeah, that's. That sounds pretty fucking free to me.

Yeah.

So when were you running through a field and the book started to come in, or how long had this been brewing? The actual concept of buying back your time, because you were doing it 28, when you were in San Fran the whole time leading up to that, and after that, you were buying back your time. But the concept. How did the concept of buying back your time actually come through?

So I've been teaching the concept of the buyback loop for 15 years. And it just came as, like, I ended up moving to San Francisco. I had built a company. I became a multimillionaire at 28. But I did it the hard way. You know, I showed up, I wore all the hats. I was crazy and disconnected and, you know, reactive, and I was just plate spinning and go and revenue and trying to keep it together and working 100 hours a week. And I was actually in a relationship with a woman. I came home one day and she goes, I can't do this anymore. She's. She just couldn't even breathe. Honestly. She was beside herself.

She took her ring off and threw it down.

Drops it on the. Yeah, just. It was a painful moment in my life, but one of the most beautiful too. Like, we're. I. We're still friendly. I don't talk to her, but, man, I've written her letters over the years. So just. Cause, like, what she did for me is hold me to a standard. And I think that's what a lot of people do in our lives. Even though at the time it's painful. I mean, my whole world shattered. This is seven weeks before the wedding. I had. I had built everything up to that point for us. Like, this is what's crazy. For four years, I killed myself to be successful, to create a future for us. And in the. The chaos of it all, she goes, I never asked you for any of this.

Huh?

And I don't see you ever changing. And I don't want. I can see where this goes. I don't want that. And the Blessing that she gave me was a. It's almost like. It's kind of jokey, but when I was a kid, my. My brother stole my bike. And he went around, like, the. The front yard and he was coming across, and I grabbed the broomstick and I threw it at him to try to knock him off the bike, but he got the front tire and he just, like. I don't know if you've ever done that to us.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, just like it happened so fast. Like, he's. The bike just flipped up, smashed himself in the face. That's what she did. For me, it was a immediate shock to the system that said, okay, how I'm doing it is clearly not working. It's not gonna work. I can't do this. But here's my challenges. That's how I was wired. That's why I told myself, this is how, Josh. This is all I know. I know how to. I know how to go. I know how to create. Okay, well. And I mean, dude, I had anxiety attacks. I was depressed. And six months later, we sell the company. I become a multimillionaire. Now what. All the stuff, all the. The person I thought I would be. Turns out none of that works. But that's when I went. I. Eventually I was working with a therapist. I mean, it was. It was a journey. It was probably like eight months. And. And for a long time, I just. This is what's crazy. There was a period where I thought, I will have to resolve to being the rich uncle because I should not be in a relationship. I will be. I'll be the creator. I don't know if there was anybody like me, but I'll just be the single bachelor for the rest of my life. I will build companies. It's my happy place. That's what I'm doing. I should not be in a relationship with somebody else because I'm not going to be good for them. And I don't want to hurt somebody the way I hurt her. And then I moved to San Francisco and I get exposed to a completely different way of building companies. It was like the. Once the light got turned on, I was like, oh, I can be expressive. I can be creative and. And still have more time if I choose to deploy the capital. And that's where I got, like, really nerdy about my calendar, the energy, the value of tasks, and to understand. And this is why in the buyback loop, it's audit, transfer, fill. So it's audit for time and energy. It's transfer. The stuff that's Low, that takes your energy, that's low cost to pay somebody else to create the space to fill. But fill is to go do the work. So it's this. It's actually like, oh, if I do it this way, the bigger the business gets, the more time I have to become better to be ready for the next thing. So then it's not a thing. Who I am is not a static thing. I get to develop and I get to use the feedback loop of the business as a forcing function to develop me. I think, I think entrepreneurship is the ultimate personal development program. It is, it is the most beautiful thing. People you want to get, you want to grow your business, Go look in the frickin mirror, man. It's like that simple. It's like, it's not about the market and the product and all this stuff. It is, but it's not. It's. Who are you? So that, I mean, I was 28 when I figured that out. And I've been on this journey of just.

That's young. 28 to figure that out is pretty young.

It's very young. It was on the back end of a lot of pain. I just started at 17. That's the thing. I went seven years building companies and failing. Okay. Like not side hustle. I'm talking full time. My dad, hey, maybe you should get a normal job. This is after getting out of jail. And he's like, hey, maybe you should get a normal job.

How long were you in jail? When you were in jail, were you getting any kind of education about entrepreneurship or were you just like lifting weights and shadow boxing?

Yeah, you know, there's not a lot of learning in jail. I learned the politics. I was in there for six months. Five, six months.

Okay.

And then I got released to rehab for 11 months. That's kind of where I finished. And I got out on probation. I kind of finished the sentence I'd been given.

I love this because, dude, literally we've heard this phrase pain to purpose. There could not be a bigger stamp that would show that besides being in prison for multiple months and then going on to have now nine figure plus company. I mean, it's absolutely insane. The road.

It took a while.

Of course it took a while.

Yeah, like it, it looks, it's a great, perfect. I call it success theater. You have to tell stories that way. But man, it was, you know, nobody was gonna paint me. You know, John Maxwell, recently, we were talking and he said, you know, I said, you know, he's written 90 books. He goes, yeah, books make you Bigger than life. And I go, dude, this is crazy. Cause people give me a lot of credit. Cause now I have a book. But it was. I mean, it's 25 years of building companies.

Yeah.

And it's really the only last eight years that people are like, oh, you are different and what did you do? And again, I didn't tell this story for 15, 16 years.

So is this book. This is the first time you're really opening up in the past year or so about your life in this way.

I've. I've never shied away from it, but I've never made it the first thing.

Like your inner circle knew, but. But the world never knew it started.

So I'm 44 now. I think I was 36 the first time I ever shared it on stage.

Yeah.

At my buddy's event. And the only reason I shared that story. So funny. It was. Yeah, it was 10. No, it was 10 years ago. So it was. I was 34 because he did the 10 year anniversary of this event and I was gonna talk about, I think it was marketing metrics or something. And he goes, hey, just want you to know we're doing this cool thing. Whoever gets voted best talk, we're gonna donate $25,000 to the charity of their choice. Well, now I have an issue because my charity is Portage. The rehab center saved my life. And it's all my. And I'm not gonna miss an opportunity to get them a check. I'm not gonna win talking about marketing and metrics. So I decide I'm going to tell my story and I'm going to change it a bit to be about the integrated life and the journey. But I've never told this story before, so I have to go work on it. This is the morning of the afternoon. I'm giving the talk right after lunch. My wife's there, she's pregnant. And I said, babes, I'm going to go back to the hotel room, work on my talk. I'll be back after lunch. She goes, okay, cool. Goes, I don't want to make you nervous, but. And she never knew this story. Nobody knew it.

Oh, she didn't even.

No, man. Like, dude, this was a.

In a safe.

We don't talk about it. Yes. There was always jokes about Dan being a little wild as a kid. There was no high speed chase, stealing cars, going to jail twice kind of stuff. And she goes, I don't want to make you nervous, but my parents are going to come. They're in town, they want to come watch your Talk. And I was like, oh babes, you can't let them. She's like, why? What are you gonna say? I was like, just promise me, keep them here. I need, I'm gonna need to talk to them afterwards. Okay. We had our newborn so she, they came in to take care of the baby for a bit, but they wanted to come talk. She's pregnant because they're 11 months apart. And I go on stage and I pour my heart out and I'm a mess. Like, dude, I'm no Grace. Like just full on red face snots just telling all these crazy stories about foster care and the high speed chase and just this guard Brian that showed up in my life and 15 minutes it was like just this. And I get off stage, standing ovation and Tim Ferriss is in the room. And he comes up to me and I'd known him for a few years, I lived in San Francisco. And he goes, I had no idea, Dan. He goes, that was one of the most. Thank you. He didn't even finish his sentence. He just says thank you. And then he walks away. And then Mark Echo from Echo Clothing comes up and he's like, dude, what a crazy story. Thank you. I'm like, this guy comes up, hey man, don't tell anybody. I've never to share this, but I actually spent two years in jail for drinking and driving. And your story is really awesome. Cameron Harrell. Like all these people came up and I said to myself, I don't ever want to not have people know who I am because once you understand that, then everything else kind of makes sense until you understand where I mean, this is true for everybody. If I don't know where you came from, it's really tough for me to understand how you are in the whole. Right. And. But I didn't lean into it, right? That was a private room, 125 people. And it just, I, I would play with it a little bit but man, it was so hard. I just didn't want to tell the story. I didn't want to relive the feelings.

I just, I love, I picture you like snot coming out.

It was not good. We got to get the footage.

But that literally is. It's on the screen right now. We're going to get the footage. Okay. That literally is the place where all good things come from. Like, and I don't truth. I don't recommend this to everybody. Like, some people can get it in Breathwork, some people can get it through. Like I did the 20x with Mark Divine, which is like this overnight crucible, right, where you do Murph soaking wet. Some people get it through ayahuasca, right? Like there's all these different ways. Some people get it through church. Great. However you get it, which is essentially a connection to your own truth. That's the, that's the thing that people don't have to decipher or decode. We just feel it from you. Like you are who you are and there's no secrets that take up space in the room so that I can't actually feel your heart and you can't feel mine. And that's the real work we're all trying to do. But we get caught up in the fucking marketing game and strategy and framework, which is really powerful and we're going to get to that. But unless you've done the real work, like you've done to be able to then have the framework, framework won't do shit. Now, you could have all the PDFs, all the frameworks, all the how tos, but unless you structure the inner work in a way where you can show up and meet the demands of the system and actually implement the structure, you're fucked.

Yeah. Because you're still taking you with you in all aspects. Like that's that the, the beauty of doing, you know, doing 11 months of rehab, essentially personal development at 16, 17 years old is that they would tell us often it's like people get out and they're like, you gotta change your environment. But like, if you don't change you, you're just taking you with you. So like that new city, you're going to show up and you're going to be like, hey, you're going to be hanging out in the wrong places. You're going to be asking people like, what are you guys doing tonight? Like, you will take you with you. So that's why, like a lot of the work I do, I call it Chocolate Broccoli. That book is chocolate 100% by design. You want to talk about marketing strategy? I'm not an idiot. I know how to build companies. I wrote that title, that book exactly for a single purpose. To get people to read the book. The Brock. So that's what they want. They want their time back, they want to make money, they want to build their empire. Chocolate, the broccoli is. Let's create some space in your calendar. Let's talk about what that means. What should you do at that time? Who do you get to become? We all know this. Jim Rohn said it, the world doesn't get easier, we get better. I needed to teach people how to get their calendar back so they had the space to do it. Because what happens unfortunately, or fortunately, is most entrepreneurs build a massive company exit or crater. And in one of those two moments, both of them are challenges. Exit and you realize none of this was didn't change who you are or crater massive pain. Then they give themselves permission to go on a journey to do the work. I would love for them to be wealthy the whole time and explore and expand who they are the whole time. But you can't do that if you don't have the calendar. So that's why I always say the buyback principle is you don't hire people to grow your business. You hire people to buy back your time. It's a calendar over capacity thing. Most people make the mistake of hiring people for capacity. I'm like, no, hire people to buy back your time the calendar and then fill your time with things that evolve you. And through that the business will actually grow.

And it doesn't have to be just entrepreneurs. There's this phrase I love. It's called intrapreneur.

Yeah.

So the book is for people that not only want to have their own business one day or want to optimize their business now. It's also for people that work in a company and they can flip their switch on being an intrapreneur. Like there are people out there that love accounting. I don't. There are people out there that love to do lots of things that I don't enjoy. And it lights them up. Like, why would I want to rob them from. From that? But in the early stages of my journey, I just didn't get it. I didn't get your principle of like buying back your time because I thought this is chicken and egg, which I wanna ask you about. How do I pay for them if I'm not generating the revenue to pay for them? Because I'm spending the time generating the revenue on low value tasks. It's this chicken and egg thing. How do I pay people without the money? But then how do I make the money so I can pay people? It's a total mind melt.

But.

But you broke it down so eloquently in the book. Can you expand on that concept?

Yeah.

I think this is a universal thing for intra and entrepreneurs.

This is what caught me off guard. So the book comes out and I remember this. This friend of mine, Lisa, Okay. Who is. She's. She's a dog trainer at this company. She messages me and says, My boss just bought your book for all of her employees. Okay. I wrote a book for very specific avatar and I did not think team members. And she goes, oh, yeah. She's saying, we all need to figure out our buyback rate. We all need to figure out our calendar because she needs us to create some space so she can. We can execute on the bigger stuff she wants us to do. And she's given us budgets to hire executive assistants and we're going to share one. And I'm like, who's your boss? Turns out she is the number one dog trainer in the world. Okay. She's been on Tim Ferriss.

What's her name?

I don't remember.

Okay.

But I remember looking her up and going like, how a. How did she hear about this book? And what did she understand? So what's happened since the book's come out is that it continues to sell more copies week over week because it's being bought for executive teams, it's being bought for individuals. People are realizing the. I didn't write it that way. Right. It's kind of like, I think like, you know, Tim Grover writes his book about, you know, working with the top athletes. A lot of people read that book that are not athletes because they just want to understand what does high performance look like. I'm just curious. I'm fascinated by it. Maybe someday I'll be inspired enough to do it. I think that's what's happened is people go, okay, what is this different approach to. Because it ain't about productivity, although it is. And it's not about leadership, although it is. They wanted to know. So my whole philosophy is this, okay, first off, we self inflict on ourselves. I call it emotional shrapnel or time suckage. Like the time assassins, the. The thing on our calendar. So like a lot of people, like, I could never do that. I don't have time to do that. It's like, no, no, you choose not to make time for doing that. Well, that's not nice. No, let just be honest with yourself because, like, there's a difference between a dumpster fire and a kitchen fire. Like, what do you mean? I go, well, you not doing that. That's going to create a dumpster fire. Hey, sometimes you let them burn. You not doing over this that your whole life will shatter so that those ones have to be addressed. But deciding like, hey, if you don't want to break up, if you're a mom and you. And you have a. You have a passion, but you pick up your kids every day at 2:30 or 3:00 clock. And you have an option to ask your mom to pick up your kids so that you can get an extra two hours a day. You may not like that. That's your call. So don't, don't tell me you don't have the time. You're choosing not to make the time and that's okay. But, but at least understand it costs nothing to create more space. And then to Jim Rome's point, it is about becoming more valuable in the marketplace. Okay? And even more importantly, becoming more valuable. It's realizing you're worth it. Dude, do you know how many people that I, I, I talk to on Instagram? And they're like, dude, there was a guy, he, he literally was messaging me. He's like, hey man, I've got a big platform, I'm a top speaker. He's in the uk. Like, all these accolades. I've been on this podcast, this podcast and I'm like, wow, how's your business doing, dude, I only made 65 grand last year. You have half a million followers on social and you showed me all your accolades. You know what that tells me, Josh? He thinks he's only worth 65 grand. That's why it makes no sense. There is no reason. And you'll never get a penny more than you think you deserve. And so like, even if you so like, time is a funny thing because your self worth is a byproduct of your identity. So again, it's like, how do they figure out their buyback rate? It doesn't even matter if you don't think you're worth it. You won't go on the journey to develop if you don't think you inherently have more to give. You won't decide to go work on the skills that are gonna make you more valuable to the marketplace. That's what these people have a hard time with. And again, those are the most people. Most people do not. And, and guess what? That's, they say that's the average, right? If you want to live an extraordinary life, you have to be extra. It's like, I don't know, man. I'm just so passionate about people that decide, like, hey, I'm going to go do something I've never done before to become more. Because. And guess what? In doing that, I know I'm going to look weird, right? One of my buddies, Ed, he called, he says, weird is rich. I love that. Now I would say effectively, weird is rich. I know a lot of weird people that aren't Aren't rich because they're not effective. They don't understand how the machine works. And that's, that's why I taught the book. I just want to teach people like create the space in your calendar to then go on the journey to become more valuable to the marketplace. Why? Because you deserve it. I think everybody deserves to be rich.

The self worth in which you speak is literally my life compounded over the past 10 years. And I think about how much I've had to do to earn like the next hundred K. And okay, now that we've broken a half a million, how do I get to the next hundred K? What's the next 100K look like? And every single time, without question, all my sabotage shit came up.

Yeah, there we go.

Every single time.

Yeah.

And it was like, okay, well, can I sit with this in the pain cave like you describe? And can I learn actually how to love it? And when I first heard this concept from Gay Hendricks four years ago, he's like, Josh, you know, you actually, the key to everything is just loving your fear. Yeah, you just love it. You just learn to love it. And I'm not waxing poetic with you, it's actually a great segmentation of what you just unpacked for us. And that is if this entrepreneurship is a mirror, it is the most powerful mirror I think we could ever experience intra or entrepreneur. Because in order for us to be of service at a high level, we have to look at the ways that we're not actually serving us, that we're not actually feeding us, because we can't give anybody else anything from an empty cup. We hear these platitudes, but. But are we actually understanding that these platitudes will literally take over in the unconscious collective if we allow them to. If love is all there is, why do we have such a hard time loving? I think it's part of our journey here. I think that's how God designed us to be here is to figure out how do we love ourselves and believe in ourselves? Because if we do that, like, that is actually the crux of everything. The book is powerful, right? But there is no way, and I mentioned this earlier, that people take all the strategies in your book and their shit's not going to come up when they try to implement them. This is where the rubber meets the road. Can you talk about this concept?

This is, this is the coolest.

It's the biggest piece. And I'll just ask it like this. If we go. Because we know what to do and we don't do it. Why is that?

It's. You brought it up. Self sabotage. See, for example, right now I tell my personal journey because I want it to be relatable to people. I'll do a few other ones first and tell the last one. But. So for example, somebody wants to go and be an entrepreneur. Okay. So they're like, I want to be my own boss. I want to make, you know, right now it's that 10k a month is like the cool thing to say. I want to make 10k a month. I want to be my own boss. Cool. Well, making 10k a month for people that might be making 50 a year is rich and they want to be rich. The problem is they don't realize that in that stretching of becoming that they have, they have, they have judgment around rich people.

How so? What do you mean by this is where.

So this is. I'm going to give you a frame to think about. All self sabotage is a judgment around the result. All self sabotage is a belief around that person and what's true. And then a subconscious fear around achieving that. Okay. There's only three fears. Fear of judgment, fear of rejection, and the fear of success. So think about it. I want to be rich, but I have a money mindset belief that rich people steal from people. I have a money belief that rich people are selfish. I have a like and it's subconscious. They don't even realize it. It's the programming from the words they were said in their family. I have a fear that if I'm rich, everybody's going to ask me for money and I'm not going to like that. So I'm not going to be rich. I don't want anybody. Dude, I was the guy that didn't want anybody to know that I had money. I was a multimillionaire my whole life and didn't give myself permission to buy my first supercar until I was 36. I could have bought it when I was 28. What the. What's wrong with my brain? Because I was worried about the judgment. I was worried about the stuff like what, what comes with driving an orange, bright orange McLaren orange car to CrossFit. Dude, my wife didn't even want to come in the car with me. So I'm not getting in the car. I'm driving my own car. And I. But why? Because she was still dealing with the same. The beliefs and mindsets I had. Yeah, but that's where self sabotage comes into place. So everybody knows how to click buttons on a website to create Facebook ads. But why do you not want to? Well, I don't want to be that guy. Well, what is that guy? I don't want to be Tai Lopez. I don't want to be a Grant Cardone. I don't want to be that guy on the Internet running ads with my face on it. I don't. I. Because why you judged them? So most people scroll social media and they. I call it. They scroll and troll in their mind. It's not. They don't see. They judge the people that leave comments. Oh, that person so, so angry inside. Why would they leave a mean comment? And you're doing it. You are doing. You're scrolling social media and you are judging the. The new. The. Oh, that person got a nose job. Look at that person got this and this person got that. And why do they have to always post their card? And so, like, self sabotage comes from unresolved belief about achievement from the childhood, the inner child, the trauma, capital teacher, whatever you want to call it. So it's kind of funny because, like, it doesn't matter, like, thinking. So the one. The example that's true for me right now is I wanted to lean out and rebo. Comp. I wanted, you know, I've been into triathlons and CrossFit and all this stuff my whole life. Like, not my whole life. I used to weigh 265 pounds. Okay, so I was a big boy. Okay.

I used to be 280.

Okay, I will give you a picture if you want to put it on. So everybody goes, oh, that was Dan.

It's on the screen now.

21 years old. Yes, I'm in that person. You won't recognize me. And I've done Iron Mans, crossfits, ultras, all that stuff recently. I was like, okay, I want to. I want to recomp my body. Okay, I wanna. And I, I hired a coach and it's called the body recomp. And essentially we go down to the lowest body fat, 6, 7%, and then redesign. It's called the reverse diet. We. We redesign where we want to put things. And I remember saying, I don't want to look skinny because I've seen some people do this and they look like they're sick, right? They get super, you know, eyes, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I had a fear around that and I. But I at least knew enough. The process is speak the fear out loud, get comfortable, right? Talk to the. The fear, the pain, the pain cave. Just like. So I would say it to my team, like, hey, I'm gonna Do this, but I don't want to look skinny. But I'm okay looking skinny because I know it's temporary, and then I'm gonna refeed. And dude, I come out of the I, I. I'm at, like, the best shape in my history. My life since, like, pre high school, teenage years. Even better because I didn't have the, the muscle structure or the cardio. And I come out of the, the bathroom the other day, and my wife goes, ugh, you look skinny. I'm not like, you know what I mean? And she got me, and I was like, oh, no, I'm looking that way. I don't want to be. And I almost decided to stop. I almost decided to go downstairs and have whatever I want for breakfast and have a bunch of stuff and, you know, just decide I'm good. I don't want to look skinny. She thinks I look skinny. I love my wife. I don't want to not look good for my wife. Luckily, I was like, let's sit with that. Let's get curious. Why does that hurt? Why is that fear? And I went to the gym and I trained and I lifted and I followed my program. I'm still, I'm still in the process. And I post a picture on Instagram to share with people. Sweat every day, workout, blah, blah, blah. Her reply. I'll send you a screenshot of this text message. She goes, heart. Heart emoji eyes. You know, the heart eyes. And I go. She goes, yum. She raises messages. Me, yum. I go, you called me skinny this morning. She goes, I changed my mind.

That's the feminine, dude. Dude, that is the feminine. The feminine is like water. It exp. It contracts and expands all the time. And I heard David Data say this. You are actually only as good as the last five minutes. Now, this is not a knock on women. Like, they're so. They're. I love women. They're amazing creatures. They're. They're so wonderful. They. They make life worthy. But, gosh, we're so different as men. We really are, right? And Alison Armstrong and all the relational experts I've had on, they all point to this fact. We literally, on a hormonal level, just feel and think differently about our lives. Vasopressin and oxytocin. You and I are vasopressin dominant. Women are oxytocin dominant. So when she poked you with the sword in the morning and she said, you look skinny, she didn't know that was gonna crush you?

Nope.

It wasn't like she was trying to Intentionally hurt you?

And how many people have people they love in their family make these comments and then they use that as ground cover to give up? That's my problem.

No doubt.

They use that as the reason to say, maybe I'm gone too far. Maybe I don't need to work this much. Maybe I should stay in bed. Maybe I should. Maybe. And like, that was. That was the big realization. I had a belief and a potential of self sabotage, and I almost did it. But luckily I'm. I'm working through it. And in that moment, I got on the other side of it, and it turns out my wife thinks I'm hot. Awesome. Right?

Same day, she changed her mind 90 minutes later. Keeping us on our toes, ladies.

Yes. No. And I think that's where, you know, I don't know if you've studied Peter Crohn's work, but he says, of course.

He'S been on the pod, dude.

The world will show you through people and circumstances where you're not free.

Where you're not free.

She showed me.

Yeah.

And I was like, hey, worthy, worthy opportunity.

Okay, well, let me just take this moment. Thank you, baby Carrie Michelle, for showing me where I'm not free. All the time.

All the time.

And actually, that's an unconscious projection. It's not all the time, but it's quite a bit. Right. Because as men and as women who are hungry about growth, I even. I was watching a talk of you on stage and you said, I'm just a driven guy. I'm just a very driven guy. And I thought, yeah, but how do we balance being driven with also being present? Like, the reason she threw the ring on the table when you were 28 is because you were just all drive.

Yeah.

You were literally the McLaren.

Yeah.

But you didn't know how to park. So, like, how do we hold both of those worlds is one of my favorite questions. Because, you know, if God is singularity and duality is how God experiences God self, and you and I are going through cycles of expansion and contraction or love and fear, which is a lot of what you touched on. And it's also how we execute the framework in the book. It's all the same. Then how do we hold both of those worlds? Like, what's been the big lessons or the turning points in your life where you can actually hold both of those worlds, your responsibility and be your childlike self, taking care of things and being present? How do we. How do we do that? I mean, it's such a complex question, but I feel like on the spiritual journey. As we grow, our ability to meet these complex situations also increases as well.

You know, I don't know if there was a moment because I think a lot of transformation is like phasic, right? It's like a wave. Like you're in it and then it contracts and then. But every, every expansion, contraction kind of leaves you at a higher state or higher awareness or expansion.

Yeah.

But I would say one of my favorite confirmation conversations with was my friend Stephanie, and she's a spiritual therapist. Like, she's just, you know, she has a, she has a PhD in spirituality. It's awesome.

But she's not wearing a 50 pound crystal and.

No, like, she's super practical.

She's here with us.

Yeah, it's, it's. And that's what I love about it, right, Is she can go wherever I want to go with my questions. But it's not dogmatic in any sense or, or yeah, it's like not vapor. Like I can't do anything with it. But she said to me, because we were talking about just like the energy of like how to connect with my creator. She was really the one that kind of exposed me to amplifying that tool, that experience. And she goes, let me explain to you this way, because I wrote a book, okay? When they read the book, they're going to be like, it's systems, it's structure, intentionality. It's, you know, it's, it's all there. Like, it's very rigid. She goes, I want to invite you to consider something. She goes, when you go snowboard, you've been snowboarding for a long time. Said my whole life, you know, it's one of my favorite things to do. She goes, when you're snowboarding, wherever you go, you go on heli ski next week. I go, yeah. She goes, do you, do you like, sit there at the top of the hill and like have a checklist for your bindings and how you prep your body and, and when you're going down snowboarding, I don't know how you do it, but you go down between the trees, like, are you like, Whoa, 22 degrees here? And she goes, or do you just snowboard? I said, I just snowboard. She goes, dan, you've been businessing long enough. You just gotta be. I said, what are you talking about? She goes, I would encourage you to go about your business day and just show up with no agenda, dude. My anxiety was like, what are we talking about? I'm trying to be productive. I'm Mr. Effective. There's no way I'm going to. She's like, just show up with this sense of intentionality just to help and be open to whatever will happen is perfect and it will be what is exactly should happen. And I was like, you are crazy, but I trust you. That experience has shown me, like, I'm the kind of guy you can talk to my team at the same token, I can get something done. I'll be the first one to crack a joke is dialed it as my calendar is. You were talking about the freest person the person decided to do say no at any time. I'm literally arguing with them in the car. I want to go see Ron White on Thursday. You can't. You got a thing. If I can't moon mock walk my way out of there and pull a Houdini to go to Ron white on at 8 o', clock, then what are we doing?

You're not free.

No. And they're like, yeah. So I said, then it's just a conversation about whose feelings are we going to hurt? Dumpster fire versus kitchen fire. And like, she's taught me to have both. Right. And it's all about. It's. It's. You know, one of my friends, Mike, he. He goes. He's seen my evolution. He just. He calls me full Spectrum Dan because I remember the old Dan. You're so fucking just rigid and disciplined.

Was there like. Were you a control freak?

You know what? I was at one point for sure, when I was 24 to 28. That was the pattern. Right. That's how I had all these people working for me. Plates are spinning.

Because that created safety. That you wouldn't fail.

All of it.

Which is an illusion.

Yeah, all that. Yeah. But then it was like, oh, how do I scale? How do I buy back my time? How do I work through people? So there's been evolutions. The last decade has truly been. How can you accomplish and desire. My coach. I work with a guy named Ed Milette. Brilliant guy, and he calls it blissfully dissatisfied. How can you in the same breath be blissfully joyful, full of gratitude, in awe of all of this? Right? This conversation, this energy. And in the same token, go. I think I'm capable for more. I think I'm here to do more. I think I'm. I'm actually. I know. Not even. I think I know I'm here to expand my awareness and consciousness and creation so I can be. Those are two separate ideas. And I think some people don't understand that. You're allowed. When I started Bringing, for example, humor into my work. Turned out we had better results. Why? More fun. Dan's more fun. He doesn't take himself so serious. I used to wear. I used to wear a suit and tie for four years. I built the company at 24, 28, suit and tie every day. That was.

That was the thing, because that was how your condition. You should be.

That was what I thought success looked like. I thought, that's, you know, play the part, act as if, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it was probably two years ago, I used to wear button shirts and blah, blah, blah. And I remember I was with Sam over there, and we're doing a morning show. And because it was a morning show, like a TV show, I thought I should wear, you know, blazer and a jacket. And I got off stage, and I was so mad at myself, I went to the hotel room. I ripped the shirt. Not. Not aggressively, but, like, I just said. And I looked at him and said, never again. You will never see me wear a button shirt for the rest of my life. Now I become a liar because my wife, when we do date night, she goes, can you wear this one? Whatever you want, babes. But 99.8% of the time, I'm. I. I want to be who I am. And I think, like, that is actually the journey. If you think about all the people you admire. Josh, think about this. All the people you admire. What I think, for me, anyways, I'll speak for myself. What I admire about them is they are who they are. Dude, you are who you are. I walk in this room, and I'm like, okay, this is my kind of guy, right? You're into the American dream. You're into freedom, and you're into sage. I mean, the smell, it's undeniable, dude. Like, I went to. It's all around here, but you know what I'm saying?

Yes. Yes.

That is somebody who is 100% themselves. People want to call it authentic, right? But it's what we admire of all the great artists, all these people on the wall, and it's what we're here to do. So I. I just want everybody. This is. This is where I've come in my evolution of, like, what is the reason why are we here? I believe we're all here to become the best version of ourselves. God will. People follow religion, will say, in the image of God, he created you in his image. Other people will say, I love this. Become the person you needed most in your darkest days. Right? That one really gets me, because, dude, I know the headspace I was in at 12, 13 years old. I'm still not sure I would have listened to this version of Dan yet. I don't have the skill yet. That's a beautiful like for me. I'm like, I'm still on the journey to figure out how could I say what I would say in that moment to that kid at that, like, to penetrate them in pain. You know what I mean? Those two kids in that. You know what I mean? Like, that I'm not there yet, but I'm on that journey or my coaching clients. I'll say, your 10.0 self, your best moments, your most expressive and driven and graceful and funny and joyful. If you took all those moments throughout a day and you put them into one day, how could you show up and be that person every day? And then here's the kicker, though. I think we should all wake up to try to become that person in that process. Share what works with you, with the.

World, and also share when you get bloody. Yeah, because that's trustable.

That's the work.

That's. The success of your book wouldn't have been this great and won't continue to be unless you shared the dark stuff.

It's a transformation. You literally have to tell people, See, this is why I see these. I coach a lot of coaches, and the ones that make me laugh, and I get them because somebody told them to do this. They're like a fitness coach, all right? This is how you do the reps. And da, da, da, da. And they think, that's what I'm doing. I'm teaching people how to do fitness. Dude, nobody gives a shit about your reps. They want to know, were you fat? Do you struggle with making good food decisions? Are. Do you ever. Do you ever fall off the wagon? Do you ever decide to sleep in? Like, who are you? And in those moments, what did you believe? Tweak, understand what shifted in your point of view that's allowed you to maybe have a different set of results that I don't have yet. But I know if you tell me that story, that's the transformation I need. So that's actually what I think. It's so spiritual. I think it's actually everything. I think when people talk about happiness, I don't believe in that. It's a moment. I think fulfillment's the word. And it's impossible for you to go on a journey of growth and share that process with the world and not feel fulfilled. It's why everybody. Billionaires want to Be Buddhists, but Buddhists don't want to be billionaires.

So the bomb drop that you just gave to us is very powerful because everyone has a perfect plan. Like Mike Tyson said, everybody's got a plan, so they get punched in the face.

Yeah.

And yeah, that's true. Because the analogy of getting punched in the face could be a death in the family. Dealing with addiction, dealing with massive self sabotage. That, by the way, could have even come from emotional epigenetics or, like, something that was your great great grandparents. It's a whole line of work from Mark Wolin. He wrote a book called It Didn't Start with youh. Because sometimes the way that we feel isn't just us. Like when you were 12, 13 going on to 16, 17, the addiction was caused by pain because there was a part of you that was looking for peace outside of yourself. You didn't have the faculty or the tools. Right. And so how does that. And I'm sure this comes up with the coaches. And by the way, it's not coaches that coach coaches to coach other coaches, is it? These are coaches that are actually serving clients. Okay. Because that's a real coach. The other way, I'm like, I get that you can make money, but it just seems like a pyramid scheme.

Oh, dude. It's like, even the affiliate stuff, and they do launches, and it's like, I'm gonna pay you, and then you'll pay me for my. And it's like, this is crazy. So circle jerk.

It's literally Ponzi, and it's being accepted as real. That was a side note. So. So the sabotage aspect that comes up. So for me, it was pornography, right? Like, pornography ran my life for, like, two plus decades. It disconnected me from myself, and I would go to it. I literally was training my limbic system to go to the pornography. Because growing and expansion and the pain of growth was so much that the only way I could survive in my unconscious was to go to the thing that could let out some steam. Once I actually met that in an ayahuasca journey. And it doesn't have to be Ayahuasca, y'. All. I'm not saying you should go do plant medicine.

It could be sound bath, could be anything.

Whatever your tool of choice is that's going to make you grow. But when I met myself there, this is in 2018 and 2019, I started to actually go through a purification where I was vomiting and I was seeing myself. I was seeing the results of my choices, and I was taking an honest, emotional Inventory of, Of the life that I had created and the way that I had held myself back from actually knowing God and growing in myself. And so I wonder for you, like, has that happened in the past 10 years? Was it you were talking about 10 years ago? You're on the stage, and that was the first time you shared your journey. Have you had any gut punches in the past decade that have really shown you where you still weren't free?

So many. I mean, I'm. I'm. I'm a work in progress, and I love it. Right. So, like.

But you're definitely not a workaholic anymore.

Not a work.

I mean, I'll ask your team.

You can, you're.

You're a leader, but a great leader can't be a workaholic.

No, no. I mean, no. I, I, I guess, like, do I think there's opportunities for me to have a more. I'm just, I guess, maybe more critical of myself, but, like, I'm definitely not the 28. I mean, I, I work, you know, 30 hours a week. I have dinner with my kids every night. You know, I just. I'm just more disciplined. I'm definitely more disciplined. I'm more. I'm more like, understanding what are the. The release vowels. But you bring up the whole idea of vices, right? Because I think this is the. The challenge with a lot of people today. It doesn't matter if it's vaping, porn, gambling addiction, drinking, you know, even THC and lot. Like, it doesn't matter what it is. It could literally be anything, even chasing the dude.

I.

There was a guy, we went to kill Tony last night, his comedy show, and there was a guy on stage, and he's. What's something that people will be fascinated in learning by you? He goes, in the last 14 days, I've done eight ayahuasca journeys. Okay, somebody's chasing the dragon, but nobody wants. And then he's like, in the last two years, I've done that. It's like, dude, hey. Now it's time to integrate.

Integrate, bro.

Stop, stop, stop. Trying to not feel okay. It doesn't matter if it's plant medicine or whatever. Drinking for me, I knew better. I quit. I went to rehab. 17, got out, was sober for two years. I haven't touched like, like drugs, like that stuff. And then I. But I started drinking, and then I. I knew better. I knew better. The reason why there was a lot of pain in my first relationship where she walked away is because I was still drinking. So on top of being a Workaholic. When we did spend time together, a lot of our relationship was around the wine tours and the traveling and the. And then the drinking. And then even with my wife, my. My current wife. I've been sober now for 12 years because it's the age of my oldest. Because when she was pregnant at the beginning, I remember we went on vacation and I went to the liquor store. When I came back, she looked at it, she goes, are we having a party? Said, no, it's for the next week. All of that, I don't know, we might make some friends. Did. I got so drunk the first night, she got so upset, she was ready to jump on a plane and go back. And I remember I was like, there's no future where if I don't quit drinking right now, that I'm going to create massive pain in my family and propagate the. That I experience. It was. It was like God said, do you want to fix this or do you want to continue this? And I remember in my drunken stupor, I poured it all down the drain, and she screamed out. She's like, this is bullshit. You're not gonna stay sober. You've done this before. This is no different. You gotta get. You know what I mean? It probably took her three years to realize I was serious. Three years of her watching, waiting for me to slip up.

You needed to be trusted.

And she was not wrong because this is not the first time I'd gone a month, three months. And there was just something that. That moment. So, like, I've had several of those. And even in. Even in the work. Yeah. Like, am I workaholic? Are there moments where I'm sprinting because we're working on stuff, and I might use that as ground cover in the last five years, for sure. But it's just a different level of energy, different level of tools. I'm way more curious when I get the feedback. I think that's the one thing I'm most proud of is, like, I've gotten proactive about, hey, what things do you not think? I don't like literally asking, hey, is there something, you know, you know me? Asked my buddy Mike the other day, you know me as it pertains to the business side or even life. What do I not see? Like, well, I don't know, but what about this? And I was like, oh, that's interesting. Why do you say that? So, like, I'm. I think I. I mean, that this is where enlightenment comes from. I think, like, at the end of the day, if you. If you truly do the work. You get to a place where it is just pure. And this is the funny part, I, I, nobody ever said it to me this way, but they would say it. Hey, it's not about the destination, it about the journey. Because what you realize is all the stuff that you're trying to do to impress people, all of it, the, the possessions, the McLarens, the big houses, the jets, all that stuff, is to fill a void in our, in our souls. To ask the question, am I enough? How about deciding to do the work, to just become enough?

So when God touched your heart and you poured it out, what did you begin to believe about yourself?

It's, it's all there. It's always been there, it's there today.

But when you say it, what do you mean?

All of it. All of it. You feel that.

So by all of it, you mean all of it? You mean all of love.

All of it. Yeah, it's, it's always there. And in that space is awesome. When my kids having a meltdown, I just hold. I can be there. When my wife is, you know, doing her thing, she does. I just have to remind. Oh, like there. We take all this so seriously and I get it and I, and I interact with it, but there's going to be a day where this experience doesn't happen the way it's happening today. And none of it, I'm not gonna be like, and, and it's happening like it's all just now beautiful and awesome.

Well, I'm sure everybody can tell and feel and hear that this is a Trojan horse. Buy back your time. As a Trojan horse, you can do the framework that your conscious mind wants, your ego needs. So actually your unconscious can do the real work to spiritually evolve enough to meet the demands of what your conscious is asking for.

Exactly.

So thank you, man. I mean, what an incredible. You don't talk about energy. Today was just a reminder of why I love what I do so much. Because I know I'm 100% confident that a man or woman watching this or listening to this has been reached. They've been touched and they've been moved in some way. And I wonder, as we say goodbye, you know, we didn't even really talk about the frameworks and the logistics of the book. But you know what? Read the book. That's why you have to be here to actually feel what's going on in the book. It's not about the tactical practical strategies. Yes. As you move towards that. And this is what I've always told My clients and in the Breathe program and our framework of the Pentagon, the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial self. If we don't put a framework or a goal set or something, like put something on the board, then we'll never rise spiritually, emotionally to meet it. It just won't happen. So, yes, you can start with the book, but be prepared, y'.

All.

You're going to have to do some inner work to get there. And the inner work, man, as we say goodbye, is really around this, this core question. It's like a keystone for my life. When I was a little kid, I asked myself, why are adults so angry? Why are they so frustrated? What is all this hatred and malevolence and just weirdness in the world? And who's the irs, by the way? What the fuck are they all about? So the question that came for me when I was super young, I said, how do I live my life well? Like, how do I be well? How do I have well being? I didn't know it at the time, but that was what I was feeling. And then when I started the podcast that's been since day one and now 600 plus episodes. How do you live your life well? How do we live our life well? What is the wisdom you can share with us that will really allow us to choose to live our life well?

Yeah, that's a, that's a big question. I don't know. I would, I would encourage people to see other people's humanity. That's what God's telling me to share. I just, I, I love. It's funny because I got a keynote this afternoon and after we're gonna do Q A, and it's like 400 tech nerds, and they're just super cynical, left brain, right? And I know they're going to be sitting there the whole time going, is this guy full of shit? The whole time, I get it. I feel the energy. And then afterwards in the Q and A, they're going to come close to me and I'm going to see their humanity and they're going to feel me. And in that moment, I got you. I do a lot of work with at risk youth. It's one of my favorite things, and I'm not an idiot. I show up with a big fucking beautiful car because they listen, it turns out, show up in a supercar, eyes wide open, show up in a normal car. Who's this guy who's going to start talking to us about whatever. And afterwards I get to invite them for the, the ones that I like. I pick I can tell. I can. I'm like, oh, that one. That one. I'm like, hey, man, you want to see something cool? They go, yeah. I said, come here. And I opened the car, you know, and I let them sit in it, and they're just like, heart. I can, I can. You know, they're like, oh, my God. I'm sitting. You know, these are like the kids that got kicked out of school, parents, you know, foster care. And they're sitting in a, you know, $600,000 car. And I said, hey, man, put your foot on the brake, hit that red circle, start the car. And I don't know what it is, man, for boys. A engine, rare like it is.

Yeah.

It's primal.

Yeah.

And it's going. And they're just like, they're vibrating. I turn them stop, and I just whisper in their ear, I was no different than you. No different. We got this. I got you. We got this. Get out. Stay sober for a year. We got this. I. I think people need to see other people's humanity and ex. And. And share themselves with them. Be. Be that person for them, whatever that means. And people are going to dismiss and, well, I didn't do anything with my life, and I'm not successful in it. No, no, no, no, no. You are exactly who you are meant to be right now. To go do that today for somebody that needs to hear from you, a stranger, I don't care. That person across the street, for whatever reason, out of the 17 people on the side of the street, that one resonates with you. Go have a conversation. I just think that's. That'd be a really cool place to live in that world.

Well, thanks for bringing us into your world.

Thanks.

Today on the podcast, man, what an absolute gem of a conversation this is, y'.

All.

It's danmartel.com the book is buy back your time. It's everywhere.

Books, Instagram is my fave. People find me on Instagram. Let's have a conversation.

Instagram. What's your IG?

Dan Martell. 2 Elden Martell.

Okay. Amazing. So from my heart to yours, thank you for being here. And until Dan and I see you again next week, we're both wishing you love and wellness. We'll talk to you soon. If you're feeling something good from our content, from these videos, from these world class human beings on the wellness of wisdom podcast, click subscribe. Watch one of these and I'll see you in the next video.