Podcast interview (Wellness Force) where Dr. John Gray discusses relationship dynamics and 'holding loving space' for partners, blending practical techniques with personal history. He recounts nine years as a celibate monk with the Maharishi, intensive meditation practice (historically 16–18 hours/day; currently ~4–6 hours/day), long marriage to his late wife Bonnie (34 years) and grieving process, and how meditation and emotional processing support healthier relationships.
Chapters
If a woman is stressed, holding the space for her means hearing what she has to say and providing a particular kind of loving support. And that's. I write about this in Men From Mars and it's in Beyond Mars and Venus, but you need more techniques and Beyond Mars and Venus because you see, once women are on their independent side, they tend to always see what's wrong with you, which means they don't trust you, which makes it even harder to go to their female side and share emotions in a more positive way. Vulnerability is scary for them.
Doctor John Gray, welcome back to the podcast. It's been five years, so much has changed. Thank you for your presence. Thanks for being on the show.
Happy to be on the show, Josh.
I remember it was interesting. I was reflecting in research for this conversation. You were one of the very first really big names we had on the show and we didn't have much of a following then. So thank you for your generosity. And also, I don't know if you remember this, after we recorded you, you gave me some specific advice which you didn't have to do about my mom and her bipolar state. So just. You're an incredible man. It's a joy to have you back on the show. So much has changed. You've now written Beyond Mars, Venus. Most people know you as the author of Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus. But this talk about relationships and wellness. I've had a son, he's six month old. He's wonderful. I'm in a loving relationship and we have our challenges. So today let's dive in. Let's get right to it. People know you as an expert in this topic, yet people don't know that you spent nine years celibate at one point in your life with the Maharishi.
As a monk, I was Maharishi's personal assistant, taught his teacher training programs, helped develop them, then went on to spend years of isolation and meditation where I used to meditate 16, 18 hours a day. Now I'm semi retired only because my wife has passed and so she's not out there pushing me to work hard so I have more time for myself. And so I now back to being a monk and in a relationship and helping the world and all those things. So I meditate probably, probably four to six hours a day.
When you do these longer meditations, you were sharing this with me and I want to use this as a jumping off point for the stillness that we all have inside of ourselves. Whenever I'm in a conflict with my partner, I tend to Go out of my center, I lose my center. Yet, John, when I'm doing my breath work, when I'm meditating on a regular basis, I find that that goes into my relationship, into my day and into my business. Now most people listening might be like, duh. Of course, when you're doing your practices, everything's healthy.
But.
But you have a specific meditation. You're telling me about three to five hours where you're not breathing at all, which kind of tripped me out.
I'm not telling other people to do that. You can't just do that. It'd be like I'm like a Michael Jordan when it comes to meditation. I go into a breathless state of just a tiny bit of air going up my. Into the top of my nostril to my brain. The rest of the body goes into a state of blissful suspension. And I'm one with the ocean of the universe. It's very pleasant, it's very blissful, it's very happy. And if something's really stressing me in my life, then I have to process those emotions to get back to that place. So it's not like I'm in this fake blissful place all the time. Okay, so I'm in the world. I've got challenges, I've got lawsuits, I've got kids, I've got relations. I do it all. But the advantage of having been a monk for nine years before that is I have the ability when anything triggers me to take some time away where I do my process of my emotions, which then elevates my consciousness back to love, back to enthusiasm, back to happiness. So that's all self generated within myself now getting involved, marrying my lovely wife Bonnie. We were married for 34 years and she's passed on three years ago. And I went through the whole I don't want to live anymore and grieving. I did all that. I write books on grieving, so I know how to get through it. I'm in a lovely relationship now. But when you and rarely triggered. Okay. Because it's the beginning of a relationship. You know, in the beginning of relationships you don't get so triggered, but you get triggered. And what I mean by triggered. Some people use the phrase push your buttons. I have a definition of.
