A recorded conversation (YouTube video) led by Josh Trent with an elder-style facilitator and Carrie discussing healing through compassionate inquiry. Key themes: trust, playfulness and vitality in an elder-healer, honoring protective patterns (boundaries, shutting down) as healthy, holding space gently rather than forcing change, setting intentions and ceremony, and the crucial role of post-retreat integration (maintaining changes after spiritual work). The dialogue models how partners can learn each other’s language and create ongoing practices to sustain change.
Chapters
You are so not the traditional healer like you are. You've blasted out the boundaries and borders of what I thought a healer really is. And it's because you have this. There's this vitality in you. There's this trust in you. There's this playfulness in you, like you're 74 years old and you're like this youthful spirit. I think maybe that was what, you know, you speak to it. But, like, I felt a trust in you because I always think to myself, whenever I get advice from anyone, I'm like, what? I want what they have. Like, what I want some of what they have. Would I want some of their energy? Would I want their life? And maybe with all the therapists we had in the past, probably not. I probably didn't want what they had.
I always just received what you gave me. And I asked you questions. I never said, why are you putting all the fault on her? I never said, have you looked at yourself? I never, you know, and I didn't really think it either. I just like, this guy's intense. He's showing how much he's love. He's showing me confusion until it was only a few weeks ago. Finally, you could very intimately share me, the hard heart you had. And I just said, this man needs rest. And we kind of said, can you go into the. No, I can't. The heart is so hard, I can't even go in there. Well, just sit on the edge of it. Just be with that hard solidness. And you had a really good sleep that night. Just getting that close, that close. And it's never like, oh, you know, bang on it, go in it. You know, it was just, you gave me what you were willing to give me. And that's the gentle healing. That's the compassionate inquiry, if I can say, of just where do you want to go? You lead. Because if I lead, it's not about me at all. It's just. It's being a patient elder, I guess, you know, let's sit on the porch and chuck peas, you know, and talk about the weather. But talk about the inner weather. That's the difference. And setting intentions, too, is part of it. And then ceremony. And then it's. The big concern from both of you was, what's the integration? It's like changing your diet or going on a fast. It's. Afterwards. Do you just start eating your hot dogs again? No, it's after the fast, after the switch, after the retreat, the spiritual retreat or whatever you do. It's the after that is almost More important than the actual doing it. And so you were both really concerned, how do we maintain it? And that's part of our ongoing conversation. And you were asking. So you come on intense, and Carrie goes like this, which she protects so beautifully. And part of what I really learned is this is not bad. This is not wrong. But how does the other person honor. Oh, there you go again. Rather than, oh, there you go, you're shutting down. Rather than what? Wow, you're protecting yourself. And then what you said is, all I need to know is when you'll come back out. You know, and just, I want to hear you, but not right now. I'm protecting myself. Rather than it being a life negative, that all these protections that have maybe been there since infant time or beyond are really healthy. It kept us going. I mean, look at this beautiful woman that was so, so protected, and yet it contained her beauty. It protected her. So now that this opening, it's like, thank you for this. And when she needs to do it again, it's like, oh, yeah, you know, I will. I will hold that space. So you were saying, what I need is for you to know is I don't need to be fixed. This doesn't need to be fixed. And then what. What you said back was, oh, you just needed to know, how long are you going to be there? I've been abandoned so much. I need to know this isn't forever because I get really lonely out here without you. So it was just such beautiful, you finding each other's language. How do we carry it on? Because it come up again. She's going to go like this. And you're going to be like this. Basic male, female gestures. But how do you go. And she'd go, okay, I like your truth, but that's enough for right now before I. Before I go like that, you know, so it's just. Now it's just a flow rather than, oh, yeah, it's just. It's so beautiful working with both of you. I was like, yes, let's continue. Because I can feel the love, and I'm so honored to be with this. Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you. Yeah. That's what was so confusing to me with us is like, oh, I. I know there's like a big love between us. Like, I can feel our soul resonance so deeply. And then here we are on this earthly plane, ego, personality, just putting us at war all the time.
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