FEELING STUCK? Integrate Your Childhood Trauma

I believe it is possible. I believe it is possible that our stored and the learned behaviors, emotions and energies that we experience as kids. That may be reverberated stories and patterns of energy in the body. I believe that as we process them and integrate them. We can release it from our field and we can become more free. And I think that with when it comes to this energy as well. It's something that neuroscience is starting to look more and more into. When it comes to quantum physics. Where every time we look at something that happened in our past. And we remember a past experience. It's like we take it out of our memory bank. We look at the memory or what we think of as the memory. We slightly change it based on the story we have about it. And then we put it back in the memory bank. So by the time we've thought of something 10 times, 15 times, 20 times, 100 times, 500 times. It's a completely different memory. Than what actually may have even happened. So as we do the inner work in the present moment. What gets interesting to me. And kind of the work of where my. My content's headed nowadays. Is a little bit different than kind of the traditional route. Where I'm really looking at what quantum physics is showing us. About the present moment right now. Which is that right now, this moment exists. And every time we connect to the past. What if the past is. Is. It isn't as solid as we think it is? What if there are an infinite number of what quantum physics is showing us? There's an infinite number of parallel realities that exist. There are many different timelines we could experience in the future. But by the time it's the future, it won't be the future. It'll be this moment right now. But when we start, we kind of activate that timeline to come into our awareness. But what if in a similar way, as we change in the present moment. We also change the past that we connect to? We think of our past as the solid thing. But there may have been us that had many different versions of our own past. So in an interesting way, that's something I'm. I'm kind of playing around with now. And especially guided meditations. Because guided meditations, for me. Have been one of the most powerful transformative thing. That I've either experienced myself or I do with group last amounts of people. One of my favorite things to do is live group meditations with hundreds of people in a room. It. There's something about the ma. The. The energy of it. There's something about the belief of it. The. The mind and heart coherence of it that just has this effect that creates a safe container where people just start popping and these like, like miraculous things happen where people say these crazy, like they have crazy transformations. And it's just, I believe, from the safe space and the. The open of possibility of what could happen in a meditative state, but nonetheless, like, the way that people relate to their past can change dramatically based on meditation, energy, emotion inside of the body, but also reframing and recontextualizing, which is kind of a mental thing that sometimes I. I think it is like a very much a body thing, which is why breath work is so powerful, because when you release it. I've had experiences where, when I do breath work or when I get certified in breath work even, I had crazy life changing things happen afterwards as I released energy that was inside of my body that I believe came from my mom's side, my mom's lineage of the family.

Oh, this is so big. Wait, I got to stop you right here because. Okay. What you're talking about is literally reprogramming your somatics.

Yes.

So that you are integrating and releasing some of the blockages, big or small.

Yeah.

That were potentially even at your level, holding you back from creating. And that can definitely be something that no matter where any creator is, they can do that. Because it's almost like. And I wonder how you feel. It's almost like when you start to reorganize all of the different blocks in yourself to where you actually truly, energetically, physically, spiritually become a conduit that's clean and clear, then anything that is destined to happen can happen. But when you're blocked, when we're kind of like almost like when you plug a plug into the wall, if it's dirty, no electricity will flow.

Yes.

So when we do that clearing, whether it's breath work or guided meditation, I know that a lot of people in our circle have gone very deep into dispenza. I don't know if you've done that, but. But I wonder how you feel about this when you reorganize, Aaron. When I reorganize, Josh, the world reorganizes itself around us. It's not just a spiritual concept. There is some quantum science behind it.

Yes.

When we change us, the world changes how it meets us.

Yes.

It's real. I mean, I've experienced this for sure.

Yeah.

What do you make of that?

I agree completely. I think that it's. It's always been interesting to me that the Biggest shifts in my life have come as a. Of big inner shifts within myself and the degree to which I'm able to own a lot of those patterns, as well as something that was like a perception I was seeing the world as. It's true that, like, our world changes as we change, which is why a lot of times people are like, I want to change the world. I want to change the planet. I want to do this or do that. But it's like they're going out to do that and that. It's not. They're searching for something that. That's backwards. It can only happen from the inside out.

Yeah.

So the. In a lot of. I will say this as well. I think everybody has the ability to do this. But in 2017, when I started with daily videos, it was like a part of me was opening myself up to allowing information to come through because I had intention, an intention of adding value to other people. So in an interesting way, I believe that our vessel becomes more clear. It's like the universe will use you to add value to more people, because at the fundamental core, I believe we're all one consciousness. So it's like the universe goes where you can remain pure in the intention to add value to the whole. So when people ask me, especially when I started making daily YouTube videos, because I made daily YouTube videos for three or four years straight, every single day, no matter what. And people would say, how do you do that? That's crazy that you have this ability to do it. And I'd be like, what are you talking about? Like, it's not hard. It's just a natural part of my identity. But also, I just show up every day in the ideas come. I don't plan out my videos months or weeks in advance. Like, I made a video this morning before I came here, and I just got in front of the camera and just a video came through and, like, it just happens. I'm not saying that because it makes me cooler.

And you also sharpen that skill over time.

That's probably a part of it as well. But Even back in 2017, it's like the more I showed up for other people to add value, the more ideas were given to me. And what I've realized, though, is that my content, it. The. The times it's remained stagnant are times that I've remained stagnant. So if I want my content to evolve, what I had to do is I had to evolve, and I had to grow more spiritually. I had to grow more or. Or go deeper within myself. And part of the way that looked too, is like my old identity. So I had the identity of that 9 to 5 job back in the day. Then I shifted into, like, being a YouTuber, and that was my identity, and I was making lots of videos in that frequency. But then eventually that got kind of boring where that's all I was doing and I wasn't really growing because I'd made so many videos. It kind of felt like clockwork. I sharpened that axe so many times.

Yes.

That last year I was like, I knew, I've always known that my eventual thing I move into is live events, running live in person events. And there were blocks to even starting that. There was like, I got to expand the team, you know, online. There's no real big expenses. I do it on Zoom and. And 99% of it is profit or whatever. Like now doing a live event, you know, you might have to put 80 to $100,000 down just to own. Just to have an event space that can hold 500 people, you know, so it's different. And there were lots of blocks. But as this, this last summer, I did two or three events back to back. And as I did that, it completely shifted my identity. But interestingly enough, as well as I got into the frequency of that part of myself, it grew my sense of, like, self, my sense of presence, it grew my content, it grew everything. Because everything in our life is a reflection of our energy. And anytime anything stagnant in my life, it's because there's some part of myself that stagnant. There's some part of myself that's stubborn, that's not letting go of something, that's not looking at something, that's trying to remain safe in the familiar. And no longer is the familiar the ex stepmom situation or the 9 to 5 job situation, but now the familiar is the control I put on myself to make daily videos of this thing that, like, the way that I'm relating to it isn't resonating anymore. Now it's. It's. I've shifted it to where now it's. It's more. So, like, how am I growing? I'm still making YouTube videos, but I'm doing it in a very different way now, where now it's back to the basics of it. It's an end. It's an end of itself. It's like the passion of adding value to people, not, like, how many views can this get, which sometimes happens on the path to success, where then it's like becomes about the outcome about the pressure.

For sure. Like if I interview this person or if I do this thing, then I'll get this many followers. Like, holy 2017, 2018. For me, I was that guy.

Yeah.

I was him, y'.

All.

Like, I would do anything I could to grow.

Yeah.

And then in like 2019, when I got with Carrie Michelle and then 2020 when she got pregnant, I just let all that go. Yeah.

What was it you think that helped you let it go? Was it just the.

I'll tell you what it is there. There was a part of me that knew that I was about to step into being a father.

Yeah.

And that any kind of self serving, egoic growth for just growth's sake was not going to be what I wanted to show my son.

Is that interesting that it was for someone else or for someone else?

But it was also because I had experienced from my father the imprinting of, well, this is what happens when you make money or an external locus of a goal. The number one thing instead of I deem success and I wonder how you feel. I deem success as like health, wealth, wealth, meaning like also time rich and money rich. And then also the quality of my relationships, both intimate friendship and personal. If I have all of that, I'm successful. It doesn't fudgeing matter if I have a million subscribers or not. None of that shit matters.

Yeah.

What really matters is like, do I love my day? Can I come to the studio and do a great podcast and go home and can I enjoy myself? Like, is it actually enjoyable? And the old way of like chasing the numbers? No, that's not enjoyable because there's always like this, like, almost like a breath roller coaster where I could never like catch my breath. And now I'm just like, the least thing I ever want to be is famous.

Yeah.

I don't give a shit about being famous. I want to be known, but because I want to be known because I'm coming from a place of peace and honesty.

Right.

And then I can show that to my kids and then when I'm gone, maybe they carry that on in some way.

Yeah.

But that's really success. And, you know, for, for everyone, like, who's like recapitulating about what their 2024 is going to be. It's like, hey, really take an honest inventory of what you actually think success is. It's great to have a goal of, you know, 100, 100,000 views. That was your initial goal with your copy paste, right? 134,000.

Yeah.

There's. There's somewhat of a timeline that I think we all must go on where we have to go through these kind of egoic phases.

Yeah.

And then once you get to a point where some people go into philanthropy, at that point they're like, okay, I've made all my money, so now I'm going to give back. I just want to call bullshit on that. I think we can have better self awareness along the way, 100%.

And enjoy the process along the way.

Yes.

For so long I was so it was interesting because based on everything that you're saying right now, it's. It's been true in my life as well. When it was that there was the ego was always looking to one up wherever I was. Because where I was just wasn't good enough. So once I hit 100,000 on YouTube, I was like, well, okay, but what about 200,000? You know what I mean? And then I hit 200,000, I was like, well, 250,000 is like a quarter of a million. That'd be cool. And now, now half a mil. And then it was like this thing. And every single time I hit that number or the, the, you know, everything grew to that number. Yeah, it felt zero different, but I still felt like it wasn't enough. And there was this part of myself that both wanted to add value to people. But I think part of the deeper aspect of my shadow was that part of adding value to people was my way of being worthy and being enough. So like, I didn't feel like I had like a fair childhood and I didn't feel enough growing up. So if I can add value to all these people that watch my videos and they're going to see the value in me and they're going to give me all these nice comments and things like that, it was like a subconscious thing. I wasn't consciously like make videos, got to get views, got to get attention. It was the subconscious thing under the surface. But I remember that once the. For a long time, eventually it was the gold play button on YouTube, the million plaque. And I remember that for a long time I'd focus on that and I could tell that my energy was literally butchering up the vibration of my channel. Like, I could tell that I was making videos. Some of them that you knew would.

Be clickbaity or something.

Exactly. Clickbaity. Or like I thought that would just get views.

A lot of views.

You know what's funny is eventually I was like really trying or wanting that, and then eventually I just said screw it and I let go and funny enough, once I let go of outcome and once I let go of even that knowing kind of knowing beforehand, once I get the gold plaque, but it's still not going to feel any different. That's when things started growing even faster. So it's almost like the more you can let go of the control, the more you can let go of outcome, the more things come, the more, the more synchronicities come. So for you it was like you realize you were having a kid and you couldn't be in that selfish energy anymore. And it was for them. For me it was like also the pain of real life. Not the pain, but like every time it was kind of like an apathy. Every time it got to the point to where when I got the gold plaque button I almost didn't even allow myself to celebrate it because I was so kind of ashamed that for like months I, you know, for a while, like years ago I was like really visualizing that. But for me I guess that was also a symbol of the impact because the thing I'm really passionate about like my degree of success is am I in the frequency of doing what I love and does that add value to other people? Because I really do enjoy simplifying esoteric concepts that add value. So a lot of the, in my business, even when I'm talking to my team, a lot of the decisions we make are around does this, is this going to impact more people? That's the, those are the questions. I always love impact. Like I could have, there's so many things in business I could do. Like one of them, everyone in, in my niche would have like a lot of people have like you know, a thousand dollar coaching packages and this and that for like high level coaching. I don't do that because I'm not passionate about that. And I, I, I just like to impact more people so I don't put my energy into that. But part of that I think is the self awareness of what does help fulfill me. And what fulfills me is what I really love doing is I love doing large group containers of like creating safe space for people to heal through live in person events. Live zoom like, like live zoom like chat 21 day challenges and things like that. And live global meditations. Like last week or a week and a half ago when everything was going on in the world, I wanted to get a group unity meditation together. And I have this belief or it's kind of a more esoteric concept but the collective consciousness we're all connected to when we bring in that clear our vessels and bring in high vibrational energy. It comes into our reality and it has a powerful effect on not only us, but also reality. So when everything was going down and everything was so politically charged and everything, it's like, let's get together on the YouTube channel. And we had three. I promoted it for two or three days. We had 3, 000 people that were live in the moment there. But then we also had. It was. It was really cool. We had somebody in Japan who transcribed some of my videos and dubs over it in Japanese and. And she was live streaming my video, my live. The live meditation. She had 900 people in Japan doing the meditation as well. So we had 4,000 people meditating on unity, peace and love and bringing that energy into their bodies to also send it into the planet with all this chaos that's happening. And the people that did it had such powerful experiences through the. Not through me, through the group energy of us all coming together. And it was so cool to experience that, that it's like there's something there when it comes to the safety of. Or the group intent, intention, or the group energy. But for me, that is so fulfilling. Like it was at the end of it. We did this meditation. At the end of it. I put on Imagined by John Legend, John Lennon, like. Like in. You know, towards the end. And we all just kind of soaked in that energy, you know, it was so emotional. People were crying. I was like tearing. It was just this experience that was like collective. And I think when we move into that energy of wanting to add value for other people and to be a part of something greater than ourselves, it just. It's like the universe just comes through in a different way. Check out some of the videos on this screen that are perfectly curated based.

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