Josh TrentIdentity Transformation Architect and award winning Host of the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast—a decade-strong show with over 750 episodes and 15M downloads.

How to heal the anxious-avoidant dance. #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #relationshiptips

15 Dec 2023 · 1 min

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0:59

A short dialogue between two speakers discussing relationship dynamics, focusing on the anxious-avoidant attachment pattern. One speaker describes realizing their own contribution to the 'anxious-avoidant dance', finding liberation in taking responsibility, and expressing willingness to love their partner without demanding change despite the pain of possible breakup.

Chapters

It really felt like in order for us to be good, that I needed to change all these ways about myself and that I was the source of all your pain.
A lot of what I thought would be this breakthrough with you and I was you changing. I realized that this anxious avoidant dance that we've been playing, I had a massive role in it. And it was so fucking freeing, so liberating to just be like, okay, hmm. How am I contributing to this? And why am I wanting her to change so much? It's. Can we actually just love each other with all the stuff we brought, without me wanting you to be a different woman, without me wanting you to be anything other than you are, that, to me, is. Is liberation. Like taking off the fucking cuffs from myself, thinking that you were the one that was cuffing me. But, like, I. I actually showed up, and I'm like, what the fuck? Why are these cuffs on me? And I have a key, and I can just unlock my own cuffs. So that's the place that I. That I get to love you from now, is that place that I don't need a guarantee. And it would fucking crush me if we broke up.