Identity Lag: Your Identity Updated But Your Habits Didn't? Watch This!

If you've ever upgraded your life but you still feel like an impostor, or you feel like something is trying to pull you back in time, this loop is why. So you can hit the goal, change the relationship, quit the habit, upgrade your life, and still feel behind. This is not failure. This is identity lag, and this is a natural process of identity transformation. I'm going to share with you exactly why I believe you're in the perfect place to create harmony with yourself, all three versions of yourself, so that you can not beat up the old version of you or kill the old version of you, so you can actually feel so repulsed by it that you'll never go back to it again. In this video, I'm going to show you what causes identity lag and how to close the gap with compassion and real emotional processing. And if you don't understand what I'm sharing with you today, I promise you will keep tuning into your next chapter that plays on Netflix. It's a self-sabotage documentary. It's called The Broken Record of My Life. It's 11 years with tens of millions of downloads on the Wellness and Wisdom podcast. I have now come to understand why we behave in ways that we don't want to and we don't even know why we do them. This is the science and spiritual technology of emotional epigenetics. It is a proven scientific and spiritual model of understanding that we are not broken, just bioenergetically burdened. And these burdens happen in 3 specific ways: our unconscious beliefs, emotional patterns, and environmental expression. Emotional epigenetics heals these inherited patterns to transform genetic expression across 7 generations. We use proven tools and frameworks that I've developed to clear these bioenergetic burdens permanently. And this is what we have put into the free 10-day self-liberation blueprint over at liberatedlife.com. This is where we teach you how to break free from inherited patterns, overwhelm, and the weight that you've been carrying alone. This is inside the 10-day blueprint where we guide you from inner war and turmoil to external freedom and peace in your heart. This is at the core of everything we're gonna unlock in this video today. When it comes to this concept of identity lag. So let's dig in. Have you ever felt like you've upgraded your life and everything around you mirrors back to you how amazing you are, but on the inside you still feel stuck? You still feel not worthy or good enough to receive it? Like, you know how you could feel, but you just can't allow yourself to feel it. The joy, the accomplishment, the reward. Almost like you're stuck and it makes no sense. This video is why. Let me describe this to you. Your life upgraded on paper, but your inner world is acting like the IRS just moved into your kitchen. You're winning. You've got a new girlfriend or boyfriend. You've got the job that you thought would make you super happy. You've moved through a lot of unconscious and limiting beliefs, but yet your body still feels like you're about to be naked in front of the entire internet. You should feel proud, but instead you feel this weird pressure, like happiness is a trap or peace is suspicious. If this is you, welcome. You are not crazy. You are in the perfect place. This is identity lag. And here is the simplest picture I can paint for you. Identity lag is the space in the middle where your life updates faster than you do. On the screen, look at the old identity on the left, the new identity on the right. Your results have changed. Your responsibilities changed. Your relationships changed. But your self-concept is still buffering, almost like it's on an old Motel 6 Wi-Fi that requires a password from like 2009. This gap between who you've become and who you used to be creates and summons one major emotion. That emotion is fear. Fear of going back to the old self. Fear of getting stuck in the past. Fear that that old tentacle will wrap around your leg and pull you down to the bottom of the ocean. Well, here is the punchline that changes everything, including all of that fear you may feel when experiencing the identity gap or the lag time from your current software that you're running currently physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially. To fully cleave and leave the past identity of who you were used to be, this is why. It's on the screen. Your brain values predictability over success. Predictability over success. So if your old identity says, I always fall off, I quit, I mess up at the end, I cannot follow through, then where you start leveling up, your biology tries to drag you back to the old story because the old story is familiar. Check out this video right here above my shoulder. This is a video where I promised you the 4 steps for you to delete self-sabotage forever, where we go deeper into something practical you can use to get rid of this stuff mentally by actually becoming its friend. It's a paradox. Here's why. Familiar feels safe. New feels like risk. Identity change feels like death to the old self. So the moment you start winning, your system goes, hold on. 'Who do you think you are?' And it does not say that politely. Sometimes it yells, sometimes it screams. It says it in a way like a toddler would say when you sit down at the table for a little warm drink. The toddler says, 'Oh, you got time for yourself now? Let me throw Cheerios and poop myself so that you don't have any time by yourself. Let me sabotage you,' this part of yourself says. I know this, and all the parents out there, you know this if it's true about kids. I love my kids. But the kid inside of us, that lower self— this is a sign that you are currently in an identity lag. You can see that there's 3 parts of you on the screen: the lower self, the current self, and the higher self. What happens when you're in identity lag is you stay stuck in the lower self. You downplay wins. Yeah, it's fine. It's not a big deal. Anybody could do it. Meanwhile, your ancestors are in the stands watching you doing backflips. They're so happy. For what you've done, but you might feel guilty about ease. If it's working, you assume it will get taken away. Some part of you can't believe it. You cannot enjoy the view because you're waiting for the elevator cable to snap. You keep scanning for what is wrong because peace feels unfamiliar. Being seen at a new level feels like exposure. You feel naked. You want the upgrade that you've been given, but you don't want to be witnessed. You procrastinate on the very thing you prayed for because the new reality requires the new you. And the old you is like, can we just do one more week of doomscrolling and pretending we're researching on Instagram? High achievers get hit the hardest because we often built our old identity inside of stress. You better believe this is my story. Truth is, I almost lost my marriage because of my addiction to stress. My addiction to stress came from an identity lag. After 8 to 9 years of podcasting, where on the outside I was pretending that I had it all figured out, but then on the inside I was going through a war. Literally a war. Can you relate to this? My stress was my fuel. My pressure was my strategy. My adrenaline became this roller coaster of a personality. And you know what really solved it? And it's the core of this video. If you get one thing, it's being able to have harmony between the three parts of me and the three parts of you. Number one, that's on the screen, your lower self. Number two, your current self. And number three, being open to receiving wisdom from your higher self. The lower self is here to be integrated, to be seen, to be heard by the current self. The higher self is here to give you wisdom so that both of your other two selves can take notice and be seen. As you can see in this diagram that we talk about, by the way, deeper in our Liberated Life Tribe and in the Self-Liberation Blueprint, this easy map that gets you from being stuck to feeling free that I built for you for free over at liberatedlife.com, you can see this visual. When life calms down, your neural system is fully attached and in resistance to the lower self on the screen. Your lower self does not call it peace. Your lower self that was built on stress calls it danger, and it keeps the loop running. That is why you can have a beautiful life on the outside but still feel behind on the inside. Your body is calibrated to survive, not to receive, when you're in this state. And listen, this is not you being weak. This is you and I— we've been trained. We've been fighting for a long time. You have been fighting for a long time. We've all been bioenergetically burdened with our unconscious beliefs, emotional patterns, and our environmental expression. And the truth is that we've never, ever, ever been broken. But society likes to tell us that, that we're broken so they can sell us stuff. But to that I say, fuck off. Because some of us were trained so well that if life gets quiet, we start producing problems, like we're a problem-solving factory. Congratulations, you're an entrepreneur or an intrapreneur. You invented a new stress that you get to solve and provide a solution for. But it doesn't have to be that way anymore, my friend, it doesn't. This video can change your life if you really feel in your heart and in your stomach what I'm sharing with you. This is the big mistake that I've made and that people make that are achievers and driven like you and I. Most people try to close this identity gap, this identity lag, with forcefulness, more discipline, grinding, proving. But forcing your way through identity lag makes the gap worse. It makes the gap longer because it teaches your neural system that even in my new life, I still have to be at war with myself. This is not freedom. This is just a nicer looking prison with better lighting, maybe a standing desk. Identity lag does not close through violence and force. Identity lag closes through integration. This is why it's so important to understand who you are at the neurological and emotional level. And this BTFA loop is why I created the BTFA model that you can see on the screen. B is for belief, T is for thought, F is for feeling, and A is for action. Now you understand that our actions can always be judged by our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. But modern psychology, and even honestly, behavior change science focuses so much on the behavior, the action, that they've forgotten the answer is actually alive in reverse. In our Self-Liberation Blueprint, we train you how to use your BTFA loop backwards, such that you can understand why you're acting a certain way because of the way you feel, because of the thought you had, and because of the unconscious belief that all of this is fueled by. We really get down to the beliefs in identity transformation in your SLB, the Self-Liberation Blueprint. On the screen is a mathematical formula for the BTFA and the Be, Do, Have. You can see that the closed circuitry of the belief has a direct correlation with the thoughts, feelings, and actions of your life. And if you don't understand who you are and you don't know where you're going, anywhere will do. Even if you have a new identity that you've installed, if your body and your unconscious mind are not in harmony and resonance with the upgraded identity, well, then nothing's going to work. Just like when your phone needs a new update and you get like a file or a document from a friend that's supposed to work, but it won't open on your phone. It doesn't work yet because you haven't received your upgrade yet. Your phone is running on old software. That's what's going on with your body and your beliefs. It's exactly the same thing. Your body gets to come along for the ride. The only way that I found your body can come along for the ride, by the way, is by using the power of emotional epigenetics such that, and it's on the screen right now, your biology is no longer arguing with your reality. When your biology no longer argues with your reality, that's when you have freedom. When your unconscious mind does not argue with the reality your mind has created, this is freedom. And there's a path. Let's talk about 3 ways on top of your BTFA groundwork, that we can actually build a scaffolding to support your BTFA. Here's the 3-part fix. Part 1: Name the lag without shaming yourself. Say it out loud. My new identity upgraded faster than my old identity. This is why I feel behind. Nothing's wrong with me. If you skip this naming it out loud, you're going to interpret the feeling as proof you're failing. That feeling is not failure. It's proof that you're updating. Your identity is just taking a minute to catch its breath. Part 2, and this is the part that's the most challenging, but the most liberating, is to grieve your old identity. This part is not sexy. This part is real. This part is challenging, but this is why you get to do it in community. You don't just level up. You lose an old version of you. You lose an old coping strategy. For me, it was pornography. For many of us, it's stress. For many of us, it's hypervigilance or control. What happens right here when you start to grieve your old identity is that you lose the old excuses that used to protect you. Let that land for a moment. You lose the old excuses that used to protect you. But if you do not do this step, if you do not grieve your old identity, you'll keep visiting it like an ex that you swore you were done with. You'll keep being on this circle stress train. You'll say things like, "I'm totally over them," and then you check their page and you qualify it as a spiritual reason. This is not the truth. This is the most important part. Part 3 is to create proof, not just some false promise. Identity updates through evidence. So these small wins that are guaranteed, these repeatable rituals, these clear agreements that are measured progress that you're learning about in this video and in our SLB, these are not a 60-minute motivational thing followed by a 2-day crash and a bag of chips. What we're talking about is evidence. Your biology trusts what you repeat, not what you intend to do. This happens through compassion collapse. Let me give you the line that collapses the gap with compassion. Compassion and love is what closes the identity gap. This is the part of you that feels behind that's trying to keep you safe. Behind is not your enemy. Behind your lower self. Your lower self is just a protector. Behind the old identity is saying, if we move too fast, we lose love, we lose belonging, we get judged, we get hurt. So instead of fighting it, you lead it. You turn to this lower self, this old identity, and you say with your hand on your heart, thank you for trying to protect me. We're safe now. We're choosing this. And yes, it's going to feel a little awkward. Because you're basically parenting a part of you that still thinks success equals danger. Be gentle with this part. Give this part grace. There's one more practice I want to share with you today, and it's called the Identity Bridge. I want you to do this for the next 7 days. Grab a page and draw a line down the center. On the left side, write down old identity behaviors. On the right side, write down new identity behaviors. Now, fill this out honestly. The old identity could say, I avoid discomfort, I overthink, I numb out, I people-please. I wait until I feel ready. On the other side, the new identity says, I tell the truth. I keep my promises. I choose discomfort on purpose. I rest without guilt. I let myself be seen. This is powerful. Your words are prayer. Now, here's the bridge question. What is one small action today that proves the new identity is real? Just one. Not 10. Circle 1. Completion beats intensity all the time. Intensity is fine sometimes, but a lot of times for you and I, our intensity is tied to that old stress model attached to the lower self. This is why you may feel still behind after a win, because we've been trained that all wins have to be external. But identity and closing this gap, it's in your heart. It's internal. You can change your bank account and still feel like the same person. You can change your body and you'll still feel like the same person. You can change your relationship and still feel like the same person because behind that feeling, it's not about the win. It's about the mismatch between who you are being and who you are becoming. This is identity lag. And if you're feeling it right now, I want you to hear this clearly. This is not a sign to stop. Do not stop. Do not stop. You're in the perfect place. The old identity is trying to negotiate. Like an internal lawyer. This feels familiar. This can sustain us. It's not the truth. The truth is what will set you free. The truth that sets you and I free is that you are not behind. You are between. You're in the perfect place. Can you feel it? You're between the lower self and the higher self. You're between the old and the new. You're between survival and self-trust. You're between coping mechanisms and authentic creation. Now you're starting to get it right. You're, you're bioenergetically burdened. You're not broken. And how you use emotional epigenetics to unburden yourself, to remove these burdens, is how you live the reality that you're not broken, that you're literally just burdened. Who wouldn't feel the way you feel right now? Honestly, with the way society and the world is set up and the reason that we're in Earth 2.0, who wouldn't feel the way you feel. Feel that. It's okay to feel that. This bridge is built with compassion and repetition and emotional honesty, not pressure. Pressure is what's created in— inside of the old identity. That's what drove the old identity in the first place. If you want help closing this gap with real structure, I made something free for you. It's the Self-Liberation Blueprint over at liberatedlife.com. It walks you through The mechanics of self-sabotage, identity change, and the practices that create lasting change, not just some motivational spike that disappears after you went to a retreat weekend or a Tony Robbins concert. Head over to liberatedlife.com where you can start today for free. And if you know somebody leveling up but silently suffering like they're just in this war, send them this video. Because once you see identity lag, you can't unsee it. You stop treating growth like it's supposed to feel smooth and you accept and you realize that growth feels awkward sometimes. You're becoming someone new. Look at when a kid rides a bike for the very first time. You think it's easy for them? It's the same thing for you. If you're feeling behind, I want you to know it's not proof that you're failing. It's proof that your old identity is losing control. And if you can meet that moment with compassion and love, and a clear understanding of the protection mechanism that this previous self was, you can be at home. You can live at home no matter where you live in the world. If you love this video, let me know. I look forward to seeing you in the Liberated Life Tribe, where you can access your free 10-day Map to Self-Liberation at liberatedlife.com.